A/N: Long time, no write - I know. About time for an update, wouldn't you say? Thank you all for bearing with the excruciatingly long wait. Hopefully it won't take 4 months. Love you all!
Chapter 9: Insinuating Circumstances
"I like blue?" Severus scoffed, kicking off the bedcovers and staring at the dark ceiling of his bedroom. "Idiot."
He blew out a slow breath and ran a hand over his face. "So much for keeping your distance."
Punching the end of his pillow, he spun onto his side and groaned. He had been attempting to sleep for nearly four hours, but it had been to no avail. He kept replaying all of the day's dealings in his head and was oddly concerned over how Granger would take the news regarding her NEWTs. She really was the most intelligent student under his tutelage, and, as much as she irked him in class, he was loath to see the talent wasted.
Not to mention, she was sacrificing herself to protect him as much as he was for her. For that the young witch did not deserve to have her future stolen from her.
That was partly the reason why he had dug out the self-warming coverlet and tossed it onto her bed upon returning from the Malfoys. It had been a gift to him from Lucius and Narcissa several years prior, but he had never really found the need for it. His bedroom in the house on Spinner's End was always draughty and cold in the winter, so the chill of the dungeons had never really affected him.
It was also tradition for the bridegroom to present his new wife with a gift symbolizing his promise of marriage. Regardless of the fact that he would likely never be able to afford them on his own, he had no intentions of letting re-gifted bedclothes stand representative of his marital vows. It would, however, buy him enough time to figure out something more fitting. It was not as if he had been allowed the standard time to make all of the traditional arrangements, and he knew next to nothing about the girl outside of their classroom interactions.
He had originally planned to get her eligibility to the NEWTs reinstated as his bridal gift, but since that had led to naught, the least he could do was provide her a warm bed.
"Fuck," he muttered glumly upon realizing that was not the thing to think about while in the dark and in bed. The images that had assailed him while unbuttoning her dress the night before were torturing him yet again. Groaning, Snape slammed his face into the pillow and mumbled, "Student!"
Hermione slowly stretched as she opened her eyes the next morning. At least she assumed it was morning. There were no windows in the dungeon so her room was equally as dark as it had been when she went to bed. With a small yawn, she propped herself up on her elbow and grabbed her wand from her bedside table.
After casting a Tempus charm and confirming that it was, in fact, 8:17 am, she sighed and tossed back the warm coverlet. As her bare feet hit the floor, she shivered and the room suddenly became bathed in light. Wincing, she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand and quickly sought the warmth of her slippers.
Yawning once more, she stepped past her bedroom door and moved somewhat blindly toward the bathroom. Once enclosed inside the room, she quickly relieved herself before stripping out of her pajamas and climbing in the shower. After she had grabbed her personal bottle of shampoo and had decently lathered her hair with it, she heard a faint pop and sighed upon the realization that a house elf had already disappeared with her to-be-laundered clothes. She had just gotten the elves that were responsible for the upkeep of the Head Girl's quarters to not bother washing her pajamas more than once a week. Now it appeared she was going to have to start all over again with the new set of elves.
As she stepped under the water, she shook her head in disappointment. It really was a waste of their time to do it every morning, and –
Hermione froze and threw open her eyelids, only to groan when the soapy water immediately irritated her eyes. Wiping at her face, she tried to blink through the tears and then quickly washed the rest of the shampoo out of her hair. Biting down on her bottom lip, she peered around the edge of the shower curtain and moaned in frustration at the room's complete lack of clothing.
In her sleep-addled state, she had fully forgotten that she now shared quarters with her…husband. She had been so used to having her own personal bathroom that in the morning she would simply shower and re-dress in her bedroom. She did not have to worry about anyone seeing her in just a towel – except for Crookshanks, maybe. And because of that, she had not brought any clothes with her.
Not even a pair of knickers.
"Oh, bugger, bugger, bugger," she hissed under her breath. She had not brought her wand, either, so accio-ing an outfit was entirely out of the question. Her only hope was that the sitting room would still be empty by the time she finished showering and that she could sneak into her room undetected.
With that in mind, she concluded the remainder of her washing in a frenzied state and then clambered out of the tub in such a hurry that she nearly slipped on the tile floor and crashed headlong into the commode. With adrenaline pumping through her system, she snatched at the towel on the top of the stack and, without bothering to dry herself off, wrapped it tightly about her body.
Cracking open the door, she sighed in relief at finding the sitting room as empty as it was before. Not wishing to push her luck by dawdling in the doorway, she quickly slipped out into the larger room and hustled toward her open bedroom door.
"Damn it, Granger!" Snape cursed as he stepped out of his room, holding a squirming cat by its armpits. "Did I not tell you that this beast was to remain –"
He paused abruptly in his reprimand upon hearing her panicked shriek and all but froze in place at the sight of her barely-covered form dripping on the stone floor. As she fled to the privacy of her room, slamming the door shut behind her, the wizard stared in complete shock at the space she had just occupied.
By the time her door clicked open again, his cheeks had turned a hue normally sported by the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and his previous ire at returning from his own morning ablutions to find her cat lounging about on his pillows had been forgotten.
"Sorry," she whispered meekly without meeting his eyes as she took her familiar out of his hands. "He had to use the litter box in the middle of the night, and I guess I fell asleep before he came back."
Clearing his throat, Severus fought to regain his composure and then nodded stiffly. "See to it that it does not happen again."
As the witch nodded and shuffled back to her room, he pinched his eyes shut and stalked into the bathroom, mimicking her earlier action of slamming the door. One foot slid slightly on the wet floor, but the man neatly kept his balance. He took in a deep breath to help retain control over himself, and then immediately regretted it. The air was still warm and damp from her shower and smelled of the distinctly feminine scent he unfortunately knew well enough now to attribute to her shampoo.
And now he was forced to combat a new barrage of images of his very young – and very wet – sweet-smelling, practically naked wife.
Snape let out a shuddering groan and gripped the edges of the sink as he stared into the foggy mirror for a number of minutes.
"I'm going to hell," he muttered beneath his breath before turning to open the door and seeing Hermione blushing and gently nibbling on her lip as she stood waiting by the fireplace. With a glare tossed to the ceiling and a heavy sigh upon his lips, he shook his head. "Never mind, I'm already fucking there."
"Ah, Severus, Hermione," Dumbledore called as he stepped out of the Boardroom. "Good morning."
"Good morning," the witch replied softly while her husband grunted from several paces behind her.
With his blue eyes twinkling, the Headmaster glanced between them and shook his head in amusement. "While I – and the Board of Governors, I am sure – appreciate that the two of you are keeping the display of your affection at a minimum, I do not foresee an issue with you lending support to your wife, Severus."
Hermione could practically hear Snape's eyes rolling in his head as he suddenly appeared beside her. Chancing a glance up at him, she swallowed hesitantly when he suddenly met her gaze and then placed his hand on her shoulder.
"If you are ready, Madam Snape," Dumbledore smiled, gesturing toward the open door. "The Governors are fully assembled and prepared to deliver their decision."
Taking in a deep sigh and closing her eyes, she nodded slowly before stepping forward. As she moved, she bit down on her bottom lip and wrapped her arms about her midsection.
"Professor, Mrs. Snape – thank you for joining us this morning," Governor Rames stated without glancing up from the paper in his hand.
"He makes it sound like there's a choice," she muttered under her breath, earning herself a sharp jab in the back from her husband.
"Pardon?" the grey-haired wizard asked, finally looking in their direction.
With a grimace, she realized that she had accidentally spoken aloud and she sheepishly glanced up as Dumbledore crossed in front of her toward his seat beside the dozen men. When she caught the cautioning shimmer to his eyes, her stomach sank even further.
Snape cleared his throat as he physically guided the frowning witch into the chair and fixed her with a warning look. "My apologies, Governor. My wife is merely anxious – as am I – to put this behind us and return to our normal lives."
"Oh undoubtedly it would have been preferable to remain in bed," Governor Verpert sneered quietly, causing the three wizards nearest him to begin chuckling.
When the Potions Master silenced them with a glare, Hermione let out a shaky breath and slid her hands along the armrest of the chair. It was oddly comforting – yet frightening – to know that he exerted just as much power with respected citizens as he did with his students. She tossed him a brief smirk of gratitude before shifting uncomfortably in the chair when the eldest Governor spoke once more.
"Before we share with you our findings, Mrs. Snape, is there anything further you would care to say on your behalf?"
"Erm, yes," she nodded hesitantly, gritting her teeth slightly when Severus tightened his grip on her shoulder. In an attempt to subtly tell him to knock it off, she covered his hand with hers and squeezed it as hard as he was holding her shoulder. "I just wanted to apologize for my actions and I accept full responsibility for everything that has subsequently occurred."
As she fell silent, the hold on her shoulder relaxed greatly. Whether Snape had taken her hint or had simply been mollified by her chosen statement, she was not sure. Upon noticing the unforgiving expressions on the gathered Board members, however, she could not bring herself to let go of his hand.
"Very well, then," Governor Rames stated, folding his hands atop the sleek table. "In regards to your academic status, we as the Board of Governors concede that you did not knowingly set out to defile Hogwarts policy by involving yourself in a sexual relationship with a member of staff. Upon recognition of this truth, we cannot deny you further enrollment in and subsequent accreditation by Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."
Taking in a small breath, Hermione widened her eyes as she felt a small sense of hope rising within her. Before it could grow too large, however, the elder wizard continued speaking.
"That being said, Mrs. Snape, your deliberate actions did result in your violation of school by-laws and necessitated the violation of the aforementioned policy by an esteemed member of the Hogwarts faculty. In light of this, we cannot allow this matter to stand unpunished. Therefore, by unanimous decision of the Board, we find that your record of conduct as it exists demands full disqualification for any Ministry-provided exams or certifications including, but certainly not limited to, the Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests, any of the General Nomination Of Mastery Exams…"
As he rattled off the list, the witch closed her eyes and slouched against the back of the chair. Tears stung the backs of her eyes as she bit her lip, suppressing the urge to audibly whimper.
The greying man coughed quietly and paused long enough to take a sip of water from the glass in front of him. Adjusting his glasses, he picked up the list once again and mumbled to himself until finding where he had left off in his dictation. Then, clearing his throat, he continued, "…the Ministry Inquisitor Certification Exam, the Test On Auror Designations, the Standardized Test Of Accredited Teaching…"
Eventually, the wizard reached the end of the list. "If you have any questions regarding your eligibility for a particular certification, you may address your question to R. E. Vewa, Deputy Head of the Department of Ministry Certification and Examination."
"Though it would be more than safe to assume that you are now ineligible for whatever it may be," Governor Verpert smirked.
"Yes, thank you, Percy," Rames sighed before focusing his attention back on the witch seated in the middle of the room. "Furthermore, Mrs. Snape, due to your new marital status, we find you incapable of serving the students of Hogwarts in the capacity required of Head Girl and are therefore ineligible for the position. Starting immediately, the role will be filled by the Board."
The Governor rolled up the parchment in his hands, tucked it in the breast pocket of his plum velvet robes, and then cleared his throat once more. "Do you have any questions, Mrs. Snape?"
A moderately-stunned Hermione slowly shook her head. "N-no, sir."
"Then you are free to leave and may return to your classes – excluding Potions, of course – tomorrow morning." The wizard then smiled and spoke in an amiable tone. "We wish you all of the marital happiness and blessings, and we shall look forward to meeting with you in the future – in a more social setting, naturally."
Unsure of what to say, the girl nodded dumbly and allowed herself to be pulled out of the chair.
"Oh, Madam Snape?" Dumbledore called out, causing her to pause in the doorway. "If it is alright by you, I was wondering if you might allow me to borrow Severus for an hour or so this evening."
"Oh, erm," Hermione flicked her gaze up to the dark-haired wizard beside her and then nodded to the Headmaster. "That would be alright."
"Thank you," Albus smiled. "I shall look forward to seeing you tomorrow morning at breakfast. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day."
Without saying another word, she followed her husband through the Headmaster's office toward the fireplace. When they had flooed into their shared quarters, she silently stepped away from him.
Severus straightened and eyed her carefully, prepared for another banshee-like performance. When she did nothing but crumple onto the sofa, he raised his eyebrows in surprise. As she kicked off her shoes and curled into a ball with a look of despair etched onto her countenance, he opened his mouth to say something. He stopped, however, and shook his head and began moving toward his bedroom. Before he reached it, though, he paused mid-stride at the quiet sound of a sniffle.
Grimacing slightly, he turned and glanced at the oddly still form of his wife. "I am sorry, Miss Granger."
Pushing herself into a seated position, she wiped one hand under nose and shrugged. "It's not like you could have done anything about it."
With a sigh, she stood and folded her arms beneath her breasts as she walked toward her own bedroom door. "And it wasn't as though I was completely caught unaware by it, was it? I had three days to prepare for the inevitable."
The wizard watched her curiously as she pushed open the door to her room and then shut it behind her with a gentle click. Letting out a deep sigh, he wiped his face with his hand and then leaned his head against the bookcase.
Glancing down at his left hand, he scowled at the sight of four nasty little red crescent-shaped marks in his skin. As every ineligibility was listed, the witch had gripped the armrest of the chair tighter and tighter and she had done the same to his hand until the point her claws were practically digging into his flesh. With twelve pairs of critical eyes watching them – along with one pair warning him in a language of twinkles – he was unable of extracting his limb from her damaging clutches without attracting further attention.
She had not drawn blood, which was the only reason he had not shouted at her upon entering the privacy of his own sitting room. Well, that and the fact that she had just had her entire future set on fire before her very eyes. The ostentatious display of cutting off all eligibility to Ministry programs in addition to her NEWTS was too bloody pretentious to be anything but another Malfoy production. And he knew that the only thing the wealthy wizard would regret is the fact that he could not have been there to watch the show.
For a moment Severus contemplated whether he could have done anything more to dissuade Lucius from ruining the girl's life, but he quickly dismissed the notion. Malfoy would have never budged where matters of his son were concerned, and he had been lucky at all to keep her from complete expulsion from Hogwarts.
Shaking his head, the Slytherin Head pushed away from the bookshelf and turned in the direction of his office door. He was going to have to face the snot-nosed rugrats again in the morning, and there was no way in hell he was going to do it without a plethora of disparaging comments sliced across their latest essays.
Hermione sighed as she slid off of her warm bed and ambled over to the wardrobe. Spending three hours moping and napping in her room was enough. It was time to get on with her life – as devoid of promotion as it was. Upon stripping out of her blouse and skirt, she shivered lightly in the cool air and then eagerly snatched at a much more comfortable – and warmer – pair of jeans and a jumper. After putting on her tennis shoes, she scratched her head and decided she could follow McGonagall's advice and make an effort to be on good terms with her husband.
When she found the sitting room empty, she frowned and then hesitantly knocked on his bedroom door. When there was no answer, she turned around and glanced between the two doors that she was told led to either his office or his private lab. Since he had not said anything to her about her being unable to enter his office without permission, she set out in that direction.
As she gently pushed open the door, she bit her lip upon seeing the back of his head as he sat at his large, round desk.
"Yes?" the wizard asked, without turning in his seat or even looking up from his marking.
Hermione took in a small breath and stepped into the room. "I was just wondering where you had gone."
As the quill continued scratching, she watched in intrigue as the red script flowed across the page with seemingly little effort from the man holding the feather. It was surprising to her how easily the venom poured out of him. He hardly appeared to have to put any thought into it.
"That beast of yours does not provide adequate enough company that you deemed it necessary to seek out your contemptible husband?"
The girl glanced at him in uncertainty and then slowly moved about the room, donning an expression of disgust upon seeing the row of jars containing pickled dead things. "Crookshanks is adequate enough company. It was just too… erm, quiet, I guess. I don't really have anything worthwhile to occupy my mind at the moment."
"And you thought that pestering me would provide you enough entertainment to relieve you of your boredom?" Snape sneered as he reached for another parchment.
"No," she snapped irritably, causing him to glance in her direction for the first time.
The wizard relaxed upon noticing that she had forgone her earlier shapely outfit for her usual manner of dress. Clearing his throat, he leaned back in his chair. "Then what do you want?"
"Do I have to want something?" she asked, picking up a random small jar and inspecting it closer.
He raised one eyebrow as he watched her set it back on the shelf and move onto the next grouping of items. "Granger…"
The witch sighed and wrapped her arms about her waist. "I don't know. Could we talk, maybe?"
"Talk?" He frowned and folded his arms. "You wish to converse with me?"
"Well I can't really converse with anyone else currently, can I?" she returned, glancing over her shoulder at him. "They're all in class."
Severus sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Fine. What is it you desire to chat about?"
"Erm," she stalled, descending into the black armchair closest to his desk. "I guess… well… I was wondering if maybe we could talk about the ground rules."
The man scowled and shook his head. "They are not up for negotiation."
"No, I get that, sir-everus." She winced at her horrible cover-up and settled further into the chair. "And I'm okay with them – well, most of them – but I was actually wondering if maybe I could… erm… add some rules of my own."
Snape snorted under his breath at her anxious expression and leaned forward. "Such as?"
"Erm, well…" The girl scrunched up her nose as she considered the question. "You can't take points from me?"
"That has already been established," he sighed.
"It has?" she asked in surprise.
He nodded once. "Since I cannot contribute to your education any longer, I cannot remove House points from you nor can you be instructed to serve detention with me."
"Oh," she whispered. "Then would you promise not to remove points from my friends just because you are angry with me?"
He eyed her shrewdly and tilted his head. "And just how would you go about proving it if I did so?"
The witch shrugged and shook her head. "I guess I'll just have to trust you."
With a sigh, he dropped his shoulders. "Fine. You have my word."
"Thank you," she smiled.
"Anything else?"
Hermione rubbed the back of her neck and let out a deep breath. "I don't really have anything at the given moment, but if I think of something later?"
"If it's rational, I will entertain the idea," he responded.
"Your cat rule isn't rational," she pointed out somewhat grumpily.
Severus opened his mouth to retort, but hesitated when he heard her stomach growling. "Are you incapable of obtaining nourishment on your own, Granger?"
The girl scowled and folded her arms. "And just how might I have done that on my own? I'm not permitted to use the Floo to call the kitchens, and since I've never left your quarters by foot, I wouldn't know how to get there from here!"
Without so much as a word to her, the man stood from his desk and strode toward the fireplace. Shortly after he placed an order for lunch, a platter of sandwiches appeared near the edge of his desk and he gestured impatiently for her to eat. "Well, go on then."
Leaning forward to grab a sandwich, she frowned at watching him go back to marking essays. "Aren't you eating?"
"I already ate."
"When did you eat?" she asked after swallowing a decent-sized bite of bread, ham, and cheese.
The wizard sighed as he scratched nasty comments at the bottom of another essay. "About ninety minutes ago."
Hermione paused mid-bite and narrowed her eyes. "And you didn't think to offer me anything?"
"I apologize," he stated blandly, reaching for another essay. "It did not cross my mind."
Scowling, the witch finished her first sandwich and reached for another. A few seconds after polishing off that sandwich, she was startled when a barn owl swooped out of the fireplace and released a package from its talons. When the package hit the desk with a heavy thump, she jumped and watched the owl disappear back up the Floo.
Feeling her heart beating faster than usual, she glanced curiously towards the package and widened her eyes when she realized it was addressed to Madam Hermione J. Snape.
"Don't touch that," Severus snapped as he managed to sense her reaching towards it.
"It's addressed to me," she challenged.
His dark eyes flicked up to hers in response. "And the bubotuber pus was addressed to whom again?"
With a grimace she snatched her hand back and glared at the box. "You think it's dangerous?"
The wizard gave a sigh and pushed the stack of essays out of the way. He cast a few diagnostic spells, which yielded nothing threatening, and then pulled the box towards him. Upon detaching the accompanying letter, he rolled his eyes and handed it to her.
"It's from the Malfoys?" she exclaimed nervously. "Tell me that you're going to check it again!"
"Granger, it's not going to injure you," he muttered, slicing open the box with a small knife. "Offend you, perhaps, but the Dark Lord has demanded that you remain physically unharmed."
Reading the false sugary greeting once more, she shivered and then crumpled up the letter and lobbed it in the fire. Peering over the edge of the box, she raised one eyebrow. "They sent me books as a wedding present?"
Severus glanced briefly at the title of the first book and quickly leafed through the pages. With a smirk, he tossed it onto the desk in front of her. "Now you have your chance to read all about Wizarding marriage customs."
"Of Ribbons, Roses, and Rings: Your Guide to a Happy Magical Marriage?" She glanced up at him. "Do I even want to read this?"
"That is entirely your decision, Granger – oh for fuck's sake!" he growled as he pulled the expensive paper from the cover of the second book. Without warning, he launched the volume into the fireplace to burn beside the letter.
Raising her eyebrows, Hermione glanced into the fire and felt her cheeks grow as hot as the flames that licked at the edges of the book. The title, Of Consummation, Copulation, and Conception: Your Guide to a Happy Magical Marriage-bed, glinted in gold letters along the spine for nearly a minute before finally succumbing to its charred fate.
With an uncomfortable cough, she snatched the other book from his desk and moved toward the door back to their sitting room. Placing her hand on the doorknob, she paused and glanced back to see him pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Severus?"
"Yes?" he replied irritably.
She chewed on her lip and leaned against the door. "Professor McGonagall is bringing Harry, Ron, and Ginny to her office so I can talk to them before having to deal with everyone else."
"And you are telling me this why?"
She shifted slightly on her feet. "I just wanted to make sure that you were okay with that."
"I have no issue with it," he remarked after a few seconds' contemplation.
"May I use the Floo, then?"
He nodded as he removed the box from his desk and pulled his chair closer to him. When she opened the door, he cleared his throat. "Granger."
"Yes?" she responded, pausing in the doorway.
Snape sat in his chair and picked up his quill once more. "I am willing to compromise on the extent of your familiar's stomping grounds. He is still not permitted in my bedchambers, lab, or office, but he may lounge about in the sitting room to his heart's content."
The witch widened her eyes and allowed a smile to spread on her face. "Thank you…Severus."
"There is one condition, however," he added, dipping his quill in the well of red ink.
"And that is?" she ask in hesitation.
"You will agree to never step foot into common areas unless you are appropriately dressed."
The girl blushed and ducked her head. "Deal."
At the sound of the door opening, Hermione slowly stood from her chair and chewed on her bottom lip as her two best friends filed into the room in front of the Deputy Headmistress. As Ron was chatting over his shoulder with Harry, he was not the first to see her.
"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed in surprise, causing the redhead to snap his eyes in her direction.
She attempted a smile, but it faltered as soon as she saw the look that crossed Ron's face at the sight of her.
A knock sounded on the door a few seconds later, and McGonagall opened it to reveal a confused Ginny. "Professor Flitwick said that you wanted to see me?"
As the elder witch instructed her to enter the room, Harry shifted his attention, but Hermione shifted uncomfortably at the silent, accusing glare Ron continued casting in her direction.
"Hermione!" Ginny called, her eyes widening.
"Hi," she responded, glancing nervously at each of their faces. "I really needed to speak with you all."
"If you're announcing your recent marriage," Harry mumbled bitterly, "we already know. It was in the paper."
"I know, and you have no idea how sorry I am that you had to hear about it like that." She ducked her head and wrung her hands anxiously. "I know that I owe you all an explanation."
"You think?" Ginny blurted, leaning against one of the chairs.
"Again, I'm really sorry –"
"Sorry?" Ron sneered. "Was it all just an act, then? 'Hermione Granger wronged by the Prophet yet again', when the whole time you were shagging the bastard like a bloody harlot!"
"Mr. Weasley!" Minerva shouted. "You will keep a civil tongue in your head or you will find yourself booted out on your arse!"
Hermione glanced to the floor, her face flushed in both shame and anger. "It's not what you think, Ronald. It wasn't an act – I mean, it is one now, but it wasn't then!"
"What do you mean 'it is one now'?" Harry asked.
The brunette sighed and flexed her hands. "Everything Rita Skeeter wrote was a lie. Severus and I –"
"Severus?" Ron spat, while the other two Gryffindors grimaced uncomfortably.
"P-professor Snape," she corrected with a wince. "Professor Snape and I were never in a relationship, but because… because of everything that was written, the Order decided that it would be best to 'submit to expectations'. Professor Dumbledore concocted the whole soul mate potion explanation in an effort to…turn the tide of the press, I guess. There really wasn't another option."
"The other option was the truth, wasn't it?" he sputtered.
Hermione buried her hands in her hair. "You don't understand, Ronald – the truth would have crippled the Order and probably very likely gotten Professor Snape killed!"
"Oh, so you think you're saving him by letting him –"
"One more word on that line of thought, Weasley, and I'll have your mother here in the matter of seconds," McGonagall interrupted.
"Shut it, Ron," Ginny hissed, smacking him on the shoulder. "Let her bloody speak."
"Thank you," Hermione whispered.
Harry glanced in concern at his best friend's angry face, and then scratched his head and sat down in the chair next to Ginny. "Well, we know what happened right after Skeeter's article, so why don't you start with what happened after Dumbledore sent us back to class."
When McGonagall nodded to her, Hermione sighed and dropped into her own chair. "Okay."
As she explained everything she thought could be shared with them, she noticed with some relief that Harry's and Ginny's guarded expressions melted into concerned ones, and even Ron's anger appeared to deflate into misery.
"So now you have to pretend to be controlling your affection around Snape at the same time that you're pretending to actually have affection for Snape?" Ginny asked. When the other girl nodded, she gave a large sigh. "No offense, Mione, but I'm glad it's not me."
The brunette snorted and rubbed her face. "None taken."
"He has to be decent around you, doesn't he?" Harry asked, folding his arms. "He isn't going to continue treating you like he has in class, is he?"
"N-no, he's been…erm…tolerable, I suppose," she replied thoughtfully. "In fact, of the two of us, I've done the majority of the shouting."
"He can't take points?" Ginny questioned.
Hermione shook her head. "Not from me, nor can he give me detention. And he's promised that he won't take it out on any of you, either."
"Fat chance there," Ron muttered, glaring at the floor. A minute later, he gave a defeated sigh and glanced up at her. "Are you sleeping with him?"
The witch winced at his dejected tone and opened and closed her mouth in uncertainty. On the one hand, she wanted her friends to know that the marriage was not actually being consummated, but on the other hand, she knew there would be a risk of it slipping out of Ron's mouth later in mixed company. If rumors of that were to spread, there was a disturbing possibility – in her own mind, at least – of having to prove otherwise.
As she noticed her student stumbling over how to answer the question, Minerva cleared her throat. "I believe that is a private matter to be kept between husband and wife."
Though Ginny wrinkled her nose and the boys groaned in disgust, Hermione tossed the professor a grateful look. Since McGonagall knew the truth regarding their sleeping arrangements, she took it as a sign that the woman agreed with her decision to keep her friends in the dark.
"Soo…" the youngest Weasley mumbled, attempting to get back to a safer topic. "You're definitely not expelled?"
"No, not expelled."
A grin broke out on the younger girl's face. "Suck that, Morag McHag-face!"
"Ginevra Weasley!" McGonagall stammered.
"Sorry," she stated sheepishly. "I forgot you were there, Professor. But seriously – Ravenclaw's going to be pissed!"
Hermione sighed and leaned her head against the back of the chair. "Yeah, but since I'm barred from the NEWTs, it doesn't really matter."
"No NEWTs?" Harry exclaimed with wide eyes. "But…you're Hermione Granger!"
"Not anymore, I'm not," she muttered bitterly, staring at her fingernails.
"You're really taking one for the team, aren't you?" Ginny shook her head. "No NEWTs and having to bonk Snape."
"Weasley!"
"Sorry, Professor."
Harry smirked at his girlfriend and then leaned forward in his chair. "What did your parents say?"
The witch blew out a long breath and shook her head. "They don't know yet. I haven't quite figured out how to tell them."
"Maybe they can read about it in the paper," Ron grumbled quietly.
"Ron," Harry cautioned.
"I really didn't mean to keep you out of the loop!" Hermione lamented, rubbing her thighs. "I couldn't exactly tell you myself, since I was stuck at Headquarters, but I assumed that someone would have told you. I mean, your parents and brothers were there – for Merlin's sake, your dad gave me away!"
"I know," he griped, crossing his arms. "I read his interview on page five."
"I'm sorry, Ron!" she cried, throwing her hands up in the air. "I'm sorry that no one told you, okay? I can't say it any clearer than that!"
"Ron, let up," Ginny groused, crossing over to Hermione's chair and perching on the armrest. "She's said she's sorry, and it really wasn't her fault anyway."
The boy huffed bitterly, but shrugged. "Sorry."
His sister rolled her eyes and leaned closer to her friend. "He'll come around…when he stops being such a prat!"
Harry snorted, earning himself a glare from his best friend.
"Anyway," Ginny stated, holding out her hand. "Does this disturbing set of nuptials come with a ring?"
Shaking her head in disbelief, Hermione lifted her left hand and placed it in the other girl's.
"Holy shit!" the redhead gasped, yanking the sparkling emerald and diamonds – along with the limb it was attached to – closer to her face. At McGonagall's groan, she turned and held up Hermione's hand. "Have you seen this thing?"
Minerva gave an amused snort and shook her head as she walked back to her desk.
"Fake marriage; serious stone," Ginny muttered, twisting the other girl's hand and watching the ring catch the light. "Oh, I bet this definitely makes it easier to do the deed."
"For Merlin's sake," the Deputy Headmistress sighed, grabbing her forehead.
"No offense, Professor, but if you were really that upset, you would have taken points by now."
"Do not tempt me, Miss Weasley," the elder witch replied. "The only thing saving you right now is that Slytherin is beating us by over a hundred points."
The girl sighed and let go of Hermione's hand. "Since you can't lose points from him, I suppose that means you can't earn them from him either."
"GINNY!" Harry and Ron shouted in unison, while Hermione blushed and squeezed her eyes tightly shut.
"What?" she glanced in confusion at everyone's faces, and then suddenly her eyes widened in realization. "Oh, Merlin. I didn't mean it like that! I just meant…well, of the four of us, she's the only one who has ever earned points in Snape's class. You're all sick, you know that?"
"It'll be even worse tomorrow," Harry mumbled.
As Hermione groaned and covered her face with her hands, all three of her friends donned matching looks of sympathy.
"Don't worry," Ginny cooed, patting her on the head. "Anyone says anything, we'll hex them."
"I did not just hear that, Miss Weasley," McGonagall called.
The redhead grinned in a manner eerily reminiscent of her elder twin brothers. "Hear what, Professor?"