Yay, a long one!
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings, The Wizard of Oz, or Courage the Cowardly Dog.
Randomness the sixth: Are We There Yet?
Back in the land of Oz, located in central Bad Acid Trip County just west of Nowhere, Kansas (7,524,962 Courage the Cowardly Dog fans just got that one), our two hopelessly lost hobbits have expanded their traveling party. This of course was not their decision but rather Dorothy's, who seemed incapable of turning people away. Merry and Pippin could only imagine the kind of trouble she must get herself into with door-to-door salesmen. The new additions to the group really wouldn't have been so bad had not all of them insisted on introducing themselves and their various disabilities in song.
The first, a scarecrow, claimed he was missing his brain despite his uncanny ability to adlib an entire musical number complete with some rather complicated tumbling choreography. Though they did not voice their feelings to the Kansas girl, both hobbits felt the scarecrow was more than smart enough, at least compared to Dorothy anyway, and failed to see the reasoning behind dragging the animated straw with them.
The next rustically rusty traveler was a tin woodsman. After half a gallon of oil had seeped into his joints the tin man, able to move once more, burst into yet another song and danced a stiff little jig lamenting his absence of a heart. Merry and Pippin not only felt that such a state could offer certain advantages, but also agreed that anyone who was as much of a crybaby as the tin man must have a heart already.
The final oddity Dorothy had extended an invitation to had been a lion. Neither Merry not Pippin were very scared when the others began half-singing their fears of being attacked by said feline in the woods and the hobbits were not disappointed when all it took was a light tap on the nose from one of Dorothy's pale soft hands to subdue the beast. However, despite his faults, Merry and Pippin both rather liked the lion because he provided the group with a sense of comic relief and the two of them were actually growing sick of being the primary suppliers of that.
After walking through the dark woods for hours the group finally emerged into the sunlight. Pippin surveyed their strange group in the light and sighed.
"I have to admit, Merry, this is a little disturbing, even for us," he said.
"Look on the bright side," Merry offered, "at least no one has died yet." At that moment a green-skinned woman in black appeared with a screech and a puff of smoke. With some vague threats and a wave of her hand one of the scarecrow's arms burst into flame. She gave a cackling laugh and disappeared as the others attempted to stamp the smoldering scarecrow out. Pippin turned to look at Merry.
"Shut up," Merry grumbled.