Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter
Randomness the seventh: Elf Public Service Announcement Take 2
Legolas stands once more against the blue backdrop and speaks again into the camera. "Yet another vicious elf rumor has come to my attention that I would like to take this opportunity to set it straight. These latest rumors of small Golem-ish creatures who serve men as slaves are a horrible blow to the pride and reputation of elves."
"I am afraid these are not rumors but horrible facts," a young girl around the age of 15 says solemnly as she walks out to join Legolas in front of the camera.
"Who the hell are you?" the blonde elf asks.
"I am Hermione Granger, founder of the Society for the Promotion of Elf Welfare," she replies.
"Um, that is nice of you, but I was only trying to clear up some rumors. I believe we elves can handle ourselves."
"Harry and Ron told me that too," Hermione says, "but let me assure you, my help is necessary."
"Listen," Legolas says, somewhat insulted, "elves do not require the aid of a small girl for their welfare. We can take care of ourselves!"
"I'll have you know that I am not a girl, I am a witch!" Hermione declares. Whipping out her wand she pints it at Legolas and shouts "Amphibious Hoppious!" Legolas disappears behind a puff of smoke and reappears as a small green frog. The frog croaks and then mournfully hops away.
"Now then," Hermione turns back the camera smiling. "Please send your donations to S.P.E.W. at 567-9748. Operators are standing by. The first 100 callers receive a free T-shirt!"