Raph has been pretty secretive lately. I wish I knew what was going on. He hasn't talked to anyone here about things. I thought that with Cassidy in the hospital, things would quiet down and they did, for a few days. But now, every time he calls her or she calls him, he gets angry.
He did raise his voice to her and almost started yelling. He kept asking her what it was she wanted him to do. I heard him suggest that she move away, back to where her family was. This Tony guy even offered to put her up in a place in Florida so she would be away from Bill where he couldn't find her. Her reason for not going was she couldn't break her lease.
I think the suggestion was even made that she move in with Tony but she said she couldn't leave her cat. Her cat? She was willing to risk her life and even possibly lives of her friends for her cat? I just didn't get it.
I like animals. Klunk is a good little kitten but if I had to choose between Klunk and one of my brother's, there would be no question or hesitation. I would choose my brother's.
It seems every time Raph gives a suggestion on how to help her and what she needs to do, she's got some excuse as to why she can't. As a result, he hangs up the phone angry and frustrated and ends up hitting the bag more so than usual. Sometimes he leaves the lair for a few hours. I'm really worried about him. So are Master Splinter and my brothers.
Raph got one final phone call a day after that and it wasn't from Cassidy or Tony. I couldn't tell what was being said. He took the phone as far into the kitchen as he could and whispered so no one could hear the conversation. Then he left. That was the reason I went out that night. His behavior had gotten Master Splinter so worried that he had me tailing my brother every time he left the lair. So for the second time I was sitting in the same spot I was a week ago. I perched on the ledge of the building across the alley way from Cassidy's, surprised to see her home.
Raph was in her apartment and it looked like they were arguing. Tony was there too. He was the whole reason I didn't go in right away. He was doing a good job of keeping my brother and Cassidy calm. I had decided I would only show myself if I needed to. That was when all hell broke loose.
There was a knock at the door and Cassidy went to answer it. As soon as she turned the doorknob it was pushed open and Bill came in. Immediately Tony went to shove him out the door but he was no match for this guy and Bill pushed him down. Tony must have hit his head because by the time I made it in the window, he was knocked out cold on the floor, Cassidy too. Raph and Bill were struggling.
This guy towered over my brother. Raph was always the biggest and strongest of the four of us, but Bill made him look small. I found out later he was doing steroids or some kind of body building drug.
I watched my brother with this guy while I went to check on Tony and then Cassidy. They were both going to have a headache when they woke up but other than that they would be okay. That meant I could turn my attention to my brother and help him out. Seeing an opportunity, I took it.
Bill being taller than my brother left his head open for a full strike. In doing so, I knocked him out. He fell to the floor and I turned to check on my brother. He was breathing heavy and stumbled over to his friends to check on them. Cassidy and Tony both started to wake up, slowly. I helped Tony up while Raph helped Cassidy.
Just in listening to the conversation, I once again, couldn't believe what I had heard. Cassidy had checked herself out of the hospital. The doctor's didn't want her to leave, they were still concerned about her heart and its irregular beat. But, she kept saying they were just trying to get more money out of her so she left. When Raph asked her how Bill knew she was home, she admitted it. She had called him to let him know she was out of the hospital and invited him over. Raph snapped.
I don't think I've ever seen him so angry. He didn't speak but glared animal like at Bill still lying unconscious on her living room floor. With Cassidy protesting in the background, he lunged for Bill and dragged him out the window and down the fire escape. When he was outside, he looked at me, glared at me. I knew that look, it was a warning to not follow where he was about to go. I didn't listen.
I leapt out the window trying to catch up with my brother, Cassidy's screams of protest behind me. Raph didn't go far. He took Bill into the back corner of the alleyway. It was dark and secluded back there. When I found the two of them, Bill was awake but still on the floor. Raph had him pinned down, face first on the filthy street. I had to smirk, Bill was begging for mercy. For a brief moment, part of me wanted this guy to get what he had been dishing out. I thought that's what Raph was going to do, simply give this guy a taste of his own medicine. Once again, I was very wrong.
I saw a glint of metal in my brother's right hand. A knife, one I didn't even know he carried. I tried to stop him. I tried talking to him quietly, trying to calm him down as I stepped closer. I wasn't going to stand idly by and let my brother slip away like this but my efforts were too little too late.
"he's going to kill her Leo," he told me. His voice cracked as he spoke and I realized he was crying. He didn't want to do this so why was he? "I have to do this to protect her," he explained a little more. "I have to protect her from him and from herself." That was when he did it.
He shuddered a moment and then became so still, his breathing stopped and he slid the knife. Slowly and evenly he cut the flesh across this man's throat. He silenced Bill in the middle of his plea for mercy.
For a brief moment, every thing stopped. I just stared in disbelief. I was frozen and couldn't move. My brother had taken a life, not in self defense or in defense of someone helpless. He had thought ahead and committed murder.
That was when Cassidy and Tony made their way into the alleyway where we were. She saw him pull the blade back from Bill's throat and wipe it off. His hands were covered in blood, Bill's blood. Then, Cassidy did what I never thought possible.
She ran over to where Raphael was. She screamed when she saw Bill lying lifeless on the ground. She started yelling at my brother. Raphael just stood there and took it. Repeatedly she pounded on his chest with her fists. "How could you?" she screamed at him. "He was going to take me back! I was going to make him love me again!"
Why? Why would she want someone around when they did nothing but hurt her? Then she yelled one more time. She called him a monster. I think at that point, I actually saw my brother's heart break, literally. Quietly, he grabbed her fists and turned her around and walked her over to Tony, the whole time she was continually screaming at him.
"Get her out of here," he told Tony. "Just take her away."
Tony nodded. Tony told my brother that he did what needed to be done. Bill had to be stopped and Raph was the only one that could do it. Raph just nodded and headed back up the fire escape. I followed him.
I stayed with him for awhile but didn't talk to him. I didn't think he felt like it at the moment. I watched him, studied him. He sat quietly on the ledge and watched his feet as they dangled so high above the ground. I watched again as he pulled a small package out of his belt. He lit up a cigarette and even offered me one. I figured now was the time to start asking questions. Easy questions first, then go from there.
"So," I started. "When did you start smoking?" I watched as he took another long drag of the white stick. Smoke drifted out of his mouth as he started speaking.
"Couple of years ago," he told me and then flicked some ashes off. "Didn't really smoke much," he shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe once a month or every couple of months." He flicked the finished cigarette away and watched it fall to the darkened street below. "I used to make a pack last well past a year but this is my second pack this month."
I watched him light another cigarette and inhale deep. In all honesty, the habit disgusted me, but, as I stared at my brother 'taking a drag' it actually seemed to be helping him calm down at the moment. This was not the time to pick a battle with him about keeping his body healthy, which could wait until later. I had other questions that needed answering. "Raph," he looked at me when I spoke his name, like he just realized I was still there. "How did you meet Cassidy?"
"She saved me once," he muttered.
The way he drew his leg up and wrapped his left arm around it, his body language, all told me I was treading on some dangerous territory but I had to know and he had to talk. "How?" I probed a little further.
He looked at me curiously for a moment and then took another long drag off of the cigarette. Again he exhaled and talked at the same time. "I got in a fight, was outnumbered. She saw it from her window and came out and chased 'em off."
I waited quietly, I had to wonder just how someone like Cassidy could chase off enough thugs to knock my brother down. He read my mind.
"She came out with a big flashlight and a plastic squirt gun shouting she was the police. It was enough to make the guys beating on me scatter." He took one final puff and looked at the cigarette in his hand, almost as if he was trying to figure out how it got there. He turned around and flung his legs over the ledge and stood up. I cringed a bit as I watched him snuff out the butt of the cigarette with the heel of his foot. "Everyone'll be glad to know she won't be calling anymore I'm sure," he uttered as he walked off. I wasn't even sure he was talking to me anymore.
"Raph," I called out to him, trying to get him to finish talking to me but he stopped me. I was too late, he had already started shutting down.
"Save it Leo," he interrupted. "I'm done," and we headed home.
I don't know exactly what caused my brother to start this downward spiral or why he didn't see it. He was always good at telling people 'no' when they were asking too much. But this time, it didn't happen. Why didn't he understand that Cassidy was using him or that she had always seen him as a bit of a monster, not a friend? Why didn't she see who the true monster was? I never got anymore answers out of my brother that night. I don't know that I ever will. I think a part of him died that night and I don't know if he'll ever get it back.
Done