Thanks for all your lovely reviews... no I'm not sure Rose would have got married either, but that's the trouble with challenges - you don't make the rules!! Well, hope you like this chapter it's a long one!

Chapter 2 – Back to the Future?

"So how long has it been for you Doctor?" Rose sniffed some time later, once she felt less desperate and the crying had eased. She and the Doctor had settled side by side in the console chair. The Doctor shifted beside her, looking intensely uncomfortable.

"You're not going to like this," he warned her.

"It's been hundreds of years hasn't it?" she worried, unable to meet his gaze, nervously folding a dampened tissue around her fingers. Panic flooded through her. "Oh God. You've probably forgotten who I even am, have you got someone else?" she looked around suddenly, expecting the latest in a long line of Rose Tylers or Sarah-Jane Smiths to appear before her.

"Rose," the Doctor said, grabbing her hand. "Look at me."

Slowly she brought her gaze level with his, wondering what was so awful it gave his face a look like he was facing a firing squad.

"When you appeared before me… It had been barely two minutes since we said goodbye in Norway," he told her. Rose could do nothing but stare, so he attempted to elaborate. "I was a wreck. I was... I just about had time to plot a new course and you were here."

Rose gave a short laugh, then a small sigh of resignation, accompanied by a wry smile.

"Now I know how Reinette felt," she told him. "It's always the slow path for everyone else isn't it Doctor?"

"Sometimes it seems that way," the Doctor agreed. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?" Rose asked suddenly, squeezing his hand. "For not having to suffer like I did? I'm glad you didn't Doctor. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, and since Cassandra ain't even around anymore -"

They laughed tiredly and sank in the seat as one, heads gently knocking together before Rose's came to rest on his shoulder.

"Oh I think the Daleks definitely kept Cassandra off the 'Most Hated' number one spot," the Doctor quipped.

"Nah," she told him. "I can handle the Daleks any day. Although it is their fault I was ever separated from you," she conceded, letting out a long sigh. She ignored the shiver she felt every time someone mentioned the name.

"Are there Daleks in your universe?" the Doctor asked suddenly. Rose smiled, always her protector.

"We haven't come across any," she told him. "But Mickey and Jake have got an after hours project inventing anti-Dalek guns anyway."

"How?"

"You told them what Dalek battle armour was made of apparently."

"Oh yes, I suppose I did," the Doctor conceded. He seemed happy that they were at least considering the possible danger Daleks could pose in her universe. Her universe, she thought, yeah right.

For a little while they just sat, fingers entwined, and the Doctor gently stroked the back of Rose's hand with his thumb. Then Rose gave herself a mental shake and slowly sat herself upright.

"What now?" she asked.

"I um… I really don't know," the Doctor said truthfully.

"I need to know my options," Rose told him matter-of-factly. "Any further ideas how I got here?" She for one, had none. An icy trickle of fear slid down her spine as she wondered whether she could be taken away again just as easily.

.-.-.-.

The Doctor slid off the chair and approached the console. This is what he needed, a good conundrum to sink his shiny teeth in to. He just hoped whatever the answer was, Rose would stay. He dearly wanted her to stay. But he wouldn't tell her that, not yet. Five and a half years ago she'd told him she'd stay with him forever, no matter the cost. But five and a half years was a long time. He didn't want to burden her with his feelings when she had so much to work out for herself.

"Is it OK if I go and change?" she asked then. "Feel a bit stupid in this." He turned and regarded her for a moment. She was shifting from one foot to another, clutching at her dress, looking suddenly embarrassed. "It really is terrible isn't it," she was going on. "Can't think why I let mum talk me in to it."

"I think you look beautiful," he told her truthfully. She beamed at him. "Interesting that the 1980s are back in again though."

"Oi!" she swatted his arm as she swished past. "I won't be a minute," she told him.

"Room's right where you left it," he told her and she flashed him one of her trademark grins over her shoulder.

Once she had disappeared through the console room door the Doctor staggered forward and planted his hands firmly on the console before him. He leant over it heavily and looked for all the world like he might throw up at any second. A gentle surge of energy through his palms warned him that that wouldn't be welcome at all.

He stared up at the time rotor and watched it chug up and down rhythmically for a moment. The ship was resting in the vortex, the engines a mere whisper. He thought of them straining minutes before. Burning up a sun to say goodbye. Hang on a minute. Rose's appearance had to be something to do with the immense energy he had been channelling to send the original projection. The gap was minute, only his image could get through and yet, for a moment he was linked with that world. What if? What if somehow the gap had existed not just between space and space but between the timelines as well? What if Rose had fallen through the gap from her future in the second before it closed? The Doctor scratched his head. He wasn't even sure that was possible. But how many times had he been proven wrong on that basis lately. No, it didn't make sense, the gap wasn't big enough. He shook his head. Unless, in her future the gap was bigger again. If something else had opened it up and that allowed her to fall through.

"All speculation," he mumbled, stroking the nearest smooth panel he could find on the console. Besides, why would she fall? The Tardis hummed. Is that a smugness I detect? the Doctor wondered. Definitely, it was palpable now. All around him, he could almost taste it.

You did have a hand in this. "Me, standing here, broken," he said out loud. "And Rose, standing there, suddenly realising that everything felt wrong." He shook his head.

"You and her still have some kind of connection?" he asked suddenly, his head filled with memories of golden light and a wolf's song. The Tardis thrummed with her love for Rose and the Doctor had found his answer.

"Nah," he grinned, staring at the console in wonder. "I've seen you do some stuff in my time, but this?!" He leapt back from the console with a rush of excitement and performed a full 360 degrees twirl, only to be faced with Rose, standing there looking like his Rose once again.

"That was quick," he squeaked, surprised and somewhat embarrassed at how his voice sounded.

She was dressed in her jeans and that blue T-shirt she wore when they met Reinette. They were slightly baggy on her, the waistband of her jeans sagging slightly low, despite being cinched in by her belt, the bottoms of her jeans half smothering her trainers. Her shorter hair was wispy at the front and framed her face. Her slimmer cheeks made her eyes look even bigger than they had before, if that was possible. She smiled curiously.

"Got an idea how this happened then?" she asked.

"It's an educated guess at best, the readings in here are scrambled," he explained, waving at the console, not able to take his eyes of her.

"One of your guesses is usually better than most people's definites," she assured him. "Tell me."

"You look very -" the Doctor began. How was it you said things like this to women without causing offence? "Fit," he decided on.

Rose laughed. "Yeah well, running for my life with you on a daily basis was nothing compared to the Torchwood training programmes," she told him.

"You still work for them then?"

"I do," she said slowly, looking as if she was trying to figure out whether or not to tell him something. "Actually Dad and I kinda run things in London. It's not the same as it was in our world though," she said quickly, "that old regime was overthrown before I came along."

The Doctor nodded, he remembered Jake explaining this to him. After all, that had happened just a day or so ago for him. He'd spent the intervening time chasing the cracks across the world, searching desperately for one big enough to get her back. When he realised that wasn't going to be possible he settled instead for one final goodbye. He hesitated, right before he called to her. He didn't want to make things worse for her. But he couldn't resist – he had to see her again, even if they couldn't really be together. He wondered if he had made things worse. Perhaps he'd ask her later. First things first.

"Have you been trying to reopen the rift?" he asked. Rose's face fell, a dark cloud across her features all of a sudden.

"Why do you ask?" she said carefully.

"I'm thinking that you fell through time from your future when I used the crack in dimensions that allowed us to speak on the beach."

"Okay," she said slowly, mind obviously working on the implications of that. "But the crack was tiny. You said it yourself you couldn't come through properly or it would shatter and both worlds would collapse."

"Yes, and that puzzled me too but I think the Tardis had something to do with it."

Rose gazed up at the time rotor, slowly moving up and down before them.

"She pulled me through?"

"I think so," he confirmed. "But that only makes, well, some sense if the crack was bigger in your future."

Rose was quiet for a long time and when she turned to him her look was grim.

"Dad and I found out that someone at work had been experimenting with what was left of the cracks. The scars they called them." The Doctor nodded. "The strongest was over Norway. I always assumed that was because you boosted it somehow when we said goodbye. Took me about a week to get over it when we travelled out there again. Brought back so many memories -" she tailed off, looking wistful again. "Anyway," she brightened, "those responsible were dealt with."

The Doctor looked worried. "They were sacked," she elaborated. He looked relieved and she gave a quick laugh. "I thought we'd sorted it."

"Wasn't there a part of you that was tempted?" he asked quietly.

She shot him a look full of pain. "Of course!" she told him. "A possible way back to you? Of course I was tempted." The Doctor was thrilled, despite her obvious hurt. "But I wasn't selfish enough to risk the destruction of two worlds just to get back to the man I -" she stopped herself suddenly and the Doctor was sure she blushed, although it was hard to tell in the green glow from the console.

"What?" he asked softly.

"Anyway," she smiled and turned away from him to study the console intently, hoping to hide her red cheeks, "seems like they must have kept on with their experiments somehow… If that's what enabled me to get here."

"You could be right," the Doctor agreed.

"So can I get back?" she asked suddenly, and it hit him like a punch in the guts. He couldn't speak for a moment, the wind knocked out of him, and when he did his voice came out a bit strangled.

"Do you want to?"

Rose didn't say anything for a moment, she just settled herself in the chair behind them and ran her hands over her face.

"Right now?" she said eventually. "No."

The Doctor let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. He joined her on the seat.

"And later?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess you don't realise what you've got 'til it's gone?"

"You said nothing felt real there?" he asked carefully, reaching out as he did so and gently placing his hand on top of hers.

"Some things do," she told him. "Mum, Jonny. That's my brother, he's four. So cute. Mickey. He's the only one there who understands what I lost, and without him I doubt I'd be sitting here today." The Doctor looked faintly horrified at the implications of that but kept quiet as she went on. "Dad too really. That was unfair before, he tries so hard bless him," she smiled tiredly.

"You haven't mentioned Luke," he told her, realising he was over-pronouncing the man's name again. She looked stunned. "Sorry. I just, it feels very strange. There's this whole new person in your life." he looked away. Pull yourself together man! Since when did he get hung up on such things? He had a good idea what his previous incarnation would have had to say about thoughts like that. Something along the lines of, 'We don't do domestic remember?' Then again he'd also have said, 'I'd have never got her trapped in another universe you moron,' so what did he know.

"I'm sorry," Rose was saying. "I suppose this must be weird for you. It's weird enough for me. I can't explain what I'm feeling about him right now. It's like, everyone loved him and mum was so thrilled that I'd finally got over you," she stood up and began to pace back and forth. Her trainers sounded on the metal grill beneath her feet.

Got over me? Implying she was… what? Of course she'd told him she loved him on the beach and he'd been about to say it back, hadn't he? But what kind of love was it? Their relationship had always been pretty undefined and all encompassing. Best friend, companion, saviour. Love of his life? He rolled the thought around his head for a moment, seeing how it felt. Then he fidgeted in his seat like a little boy, willing her to continue.

"He was the first bloke that's asked me out since -" she tailed off and he nodded silently. "Well not the first first, but the first to have half a brain." The Doctor smirked. "He is a lovely guy," she conceded thoughtfully, leaning gently against the console. It fizzed slightly. "Sorry," Rose apologised, moving away and stroking a panel a moment.

"And now?" the Doctor asked, but she cut him off.

"Why'd she do it?" she asked.

"What?"

"The Tardis," Rose continued, turning to gaze up at the time rotor again. "Why'd she pull me through?"

"Oh it's been a long time since I've tried to work out everything she does," the Doctor said fondly, gazing up at his beautiful ship, his bottom lip jutting out slightly. "Perhaps you two still have a link since -" he didn't finish, but Rose nodded her understanding. "As for why she did it, I don't know. But I was very miserable, and she does have a habit of getting inside my head, trying to help me out."

Rose stared. "Did you wish it?" she asked. "Do it on purpose?" Her eyes narrowed.

The Doctor threw his hands up, the universal gesture for 'Not me!' Then he grabbed Rose's hand tightly and told her firmly, "No, I didn't."

"You snatched me away!" Rose looked confused at her own words the moment she'd said them, like she hadn't meant them to be what they were.

"Rose, I'm a Time Lord, not a sorceror," the Doctor told her. "I didn't do anything. Not that I wouldn't have if I'd known it was possible," he mumbled.

Rose gazed at him, her expression softening.

"Of course you didn't," she shook her head and laughed at her own stupidity. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," he said.

"Why?"

"I don't know." They giggled and she sat back down beside him.

"So now what?" she asked. "Could you send me back?" She asked this in a speculative tone, as though it wasn't an entirely serious question, and the Doctor felt partially relieved.

He stood and examined the console for a moment, trying to make some sense of the readouts on the monitor. It was all a bit of a mess.

"Seems like the immense power she's been channelling has scrambled everything a bit. It might take me some time to figure it out."

"OK," Rose mused. "Do we have to stay here or could we go somewhere else whilst you work it out?"

"Um, we could," he agreed. "You choose. Where shall we go?"

How many times had he asked her that, he wondered.

.-.-.-.

It was only natural she'd choose the Powell Estate. It had been over five years since she'd stepped foot in her mum's old flat. She had some reminiscing to do. Besides, she told him, she'd left all her washing there.

So the Doctor poured over the information the Tardis was giving him and the doors stood slightly ajar, so he could gaze out over Jackie's living room should he so wish. Rose was wandering about the flat. After a while she became more industrious, collecting up photographs and precious bits and bobs she'd thought she'd never see again and putting them in bags. It felt good to be doing something, anything… To take her mind off everything else.

Later she appeared in the Tardis doorway with two cups of tea.

"It's hardly been any time since we left," she told him. "Milk's still fresh."

"I know," the Doctor told her. "We were here three days ago, relatively."

"Oh."

"Feel odd?" he asked.

"Very."

"I know."

"Still keep thinking I'm gonna wake up and this'll all be some kind of dream," she admitted.

She had to stop dwelling on this, or she was going to cry. Why did the Doctor have to suddenly turn in to some kind of wonder-counsellor, letting her rabbit on. That wasn't his usual style. He was 'always alright' and although he'd always given her space to be all emotional and human when she'd needed it, he'd never really sat and talked something through with her before. She wondered what had brought about this change in him, and then she realised. Losing her. She also realised he was speaking to her.

"I hope not," he was telling her seriously.

"What?" she asked, gasping as one of the mugs slipped and burnt the knuckle of one finger.

"A dream," the Doctor explained. "I hope it's not a dream"

"Oh," she said, shifting the cup. "Me too." She handed him his tea and he took a sip. "Remembered how you have it," she said proudly and he grinned.

"So I thought you came back and found out we were on the lists of the dead and all that," Rose asked, settling in the chair and watching him work, as she had so many times before.

Everything felt so familiar. She hadn't realised before that when she missed the Tardis she even missed the smell of it. Industrial and ancient, oil, electricity, steel. And something else, unique and organic. A bit like the smell of moss underfoot in a wood, or rust. Or both. She wasn't sure, she just knew it smelt like home.

"Got access to all the records I need here," the Doctor told her. "As soon as the event had happened, you turned up on the lists."

"Of course," Rose said, shaking her head slightly. She'd forgotten everything the Tardis was capable of. She gazed at the central console, the lights swimming before eyes that were determined not to stay dry. Could this amazing ship really be home again?

.-.-.-.

Later on the Doctor found her in her room aboard the Tardis, sorting through her clothes and picking out those not too big for her.

"Making yourself at home?" he asked, amused, ignoring the swell of hope in his gut.

Rose gazed around at the clothes she had strewn everywhere, a look of confusion on her face. She shrugged.

"Something to do?" she said weakly. Then she put down the pair of jeans she was holding and sighed.

"It's funny," she told him. "None of this seems that out of fashion. I think we're a bit behind the times in Pete's world."

"You still call it that?" He laughed, remembering christening it that days before.

Rose shrugged. "Doesn't seem like my world. Everything's just slightly… wrong. Even the air."

She jumped up suddenly, her eyes bright, and ran from the room and down the corridor. The Doctor followed close behind, calling her name in concern. Once she reached the console room, she pounded down the ramp and out the doors to fling open one of the windows in the flat. She took in a lungful of south-east London smog and sighed happily.

"Lovely!" she cried and the Doctor chuckled, from his position by the console. She stood, lit by the weak sunlight coming through Jackie's terrible net curtains. The Doctor thought, not for the first time that day, that she looked beautiful.

Then she came back through and stood before him smiling ear to ear. "Can I have a hug?" she asked suddenly.

"Of course," he told her, holding open his arms. She stepped in to his embrace and tilted her head back, resting her chin on his shoulder. The Doctor leaned back on the console and squeezed her tight.

"I've missed this," she mumbled.

"Me too," he agreed.

"I've only been gone a few days," she laughed, pulling away.

"Still," he said, shrugging. She gave him a little smile. "So anyway," he said, turning to the console. "I came to find you to say I'd finished working it all out and -"

"Wait!" she cried suddenly, holding up her hand to stop him.

"What?"

"Before you tell me, if it's possible for me to get back, I need to know something," she told him, and he nodded solemnly.

"Okay."

"What do you want?" she asked simply.

The Doctor gazed at her for a moment and then raked a hand through his wayward hair. This caused Rose to smile weakly at the, as usual, utterly futile gesture. He let out a long sigh and wandered over to the console chair, using the time to formulate a decent answer. Rose tilted her head to one side and watched him thoughtfully, as though she could tell just by watching his body language what he might say.

"That's a biggie," he said finally and she smirked, before joining him on the seat.

"Well, it may be, but I need to know where we stand before you tell me I'm trapped here forever. I want decisions to be made truthfully."

"Fair enough," the Doctor replied casually, but inside his hearts were thundering, his mind was spinning and he wasn't sure where he'd begin. Rose watched him struggle for a moment before scowling.

"If it's that difficult -"she began, but he cut her off.

"When you fell, towards the void," he started, stunning her in to silence. "I can't describe how I felt." He reached out and grabbed her hand, needing the contact to confirm she was in fact real. "I thought you were brave and stupid for grabbing that lever. And I thought you were going to die." Rose gave a tremulous little smile.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Sorry for saving the world, or sorry for not dying?" he asked, slightly sarcastically.

"Sorry for making you hurt!"

The Doctor held her gaze for a moment. "Anyway, afterwards I chased the cracks across the world. The one above Norway was the biggest one I could find but it still wasn't big enough to -" He went quiet.

"To what?" she asked.

"Get you back," he told her. "I didn't want to say goodbye Rose, I wanted you back."

Rose looked stunned.

"That hasn't changed," he told her softly, reaching out to tuck an errant strand of hair behind her ear. He thought the shorter hair suited her, now he was getting used to it. "So there's your answer. I want you to stay." Rose smiled and nodded quickly, but she looked like she might cry.

"I know it's selfish," he added. "And it's much harder for you. You've, 'moved on'." He said the words like they tasted bad and Rose shook her head. "Haven't you?" he asked. "Your turn to make the choice," he added.

Rose's eyes met his then and there was such emotion there, that he felt a panic rising like an ocean swell within him. "I wasn't sure about the beach," he said suddenly, sensing that the current course of their conversation might be leading somewhere dangerously intimate.

"What do you mean?" she asked, blinking back tears.

"Once I knew I couldn't get you back I wanted to have a chance to say goodbye, but I didn't know if it would help you or make it worse. Didn't know how much time would have passed for you, if you'd have got on with stuff and I'd come along and open old wounds."

"But you came anyway."

"Selfish of me," he decided.

"No," Rose said, quite fiercely. "I needed it too. Besides, on current theory I wouldn't be here now if you hadn't would I?" she squeezed his hand and the Doctor looked down at their fingers linked together. He thought of every single time he'd taken her hand.

"We had a laugh didn't we?" he asked, as if giving her a get out to say, 'Yes, but that's all over now.' He smiled, but Rose looked pained.

"I often thought, afterwards," she began, dropping her other hand lightly on his forearm, but not being able to meet his gaze, "that it was our fault somehow."

"How d'you mean?" he asked, shifting uncomfortably, watching her pick at invisible lint on his suit.

"Like, it was payback," she said seriously and now she did look up, and her eyes were dark.

"Payback?" he asked, faintly horrified.

"We were so sure of ourselves."

"Oh." He nodded now, he knew where she was going with this. He'd thought it himself. He'd been stood pressed to a stone-cold wall at the time, desperate to feel a trace of her warmth still there.

"And foolish," she added.

"Rash even," he agreed.

"Sorta', cocky."

"Quite possibly."

"We acted like -" Rose began.

"Like the whole of time and space was our playground," the Doctor said matter-of-factly.

"We can't make that mistake again," she told him firmly.

"No," he said and then a smile began to tug at the corner of his mouth. "Does that mean you've made your decision?" he asked, hope soaring. She returned his burgeoning smile with one of her own.

"Looks that way, doesn't it Doctor?"

He gave her a smile, which turned in to one of his best and widest grins and she returned the same, even going so far as to flick her tongue between her teeth for a moment. The Doctor faintly registered that he was glad she still did that. He pulled her in for a hug.

"You're sure?" he asked sensibly a few moments later, letting her go.

"Sure," Rose said, but she gave a shaky sigh and he frowned, a question posed with one raised eyebrow. "Really," she assured him. "Just a lot to leave behind."

"I know," he told her, squeezing her hand again.

"So," Rose started, brightening perceptibly. "Truth time, could you have sent me back?"

"No," the Doctor told her, face grave despite the fact that she'd decided to stay anyway. Rose gazed at the console.

"Whatever she did," the Doctor began, gesturing to the centre of his ship, "the trace is there, it's somewhat scrambled but I did find it. Only there's no way to reverse the process. It's proved impossible to figure out, even for me."

Rose listened to his little speech with a faraway look in her eyes.

"You really tried didn't you?" she asked.

"Of course," the Doctor told her.

"You could have just said, 'Sorry! Can't be done.' And I'd have been none the wiser."

"Not my style," he assured her.

"I know," she told him. "It's what I love about you."

Silence descended and Rose looked awkward. The Doctor shifted his gaze away from her big brown eyes and out instead in to Jackie's living room.

"It's OK," Rose said quietly a moment later. "I'm not expecting anything. Just because I… just because of what I said, on the beach. I'm not expecting anything to change between us. I mean I was desperate, we were never going to see each other again. And I don't need to hear what you were going to say either," she told him, when he finally had the courage to look her way again. "I'm not a kid anymore."

She stood to leave then, but he stood quickly, making her stop and turn to him.

"You were never a kid," he told her, voice a little desperate. She just stared up at him. God, now what did he say? "There is something we can do," he added quickly, before she had a chance to respond.

"What?" she asked flatly, disappointed that he'd changed the topic.

"We could send a message. Like before, on the beach. If I'm extremely clever, we could go talk to your mum. And Luke, if you'd like."

"Before you came out in Norway. Would it have to be Norway?"

"Um, possibly not, now I know when the breach is opened on your side I might be able to swing it that we can appear just after you left."

"At the church?" Rose looked horrified.

"I, um -" the Doctor began.

"Crash my own wedding?" Rose asked. The Doctor shrugged. "OK," Rose agreed. "Why not? When?"

"Not yet I need to calculate everything first – never mind finding another supernova to power the thing."

"Is that possible? I don't want to put us in danger."

"It's possible. But afterwards we need to sort out these cracks once and for all. They'll be well and truly sealed, can't risk anything like last time happening again. This'll be your last chance, to say goodbye."

"Oh, okay." Rose smiled tightly and made to leave again. The Doctor grabbed her by the arm this time, clinging on tight. As she stared at him again, he wondered what the hell he was doing. And then he wondered why he couldn't just let go. Tell Rose how he felt. He frowned, his head was spinning again.

"Have you… got everything, you need I mean. I want to go somewhere else," he told her, chickening out. Inwardly cursing himself. You arrogant old fool.

"Yeah," she said lightly, "fine. I'm going for a lie down."

"Okay," he said gently, letting her go, intensely aware as each of his fingers slipped from the soft skin of her arm.

He watched her walk from the room and sighed, turning to gaze up at his ship.

Go on, go on, go on.

"Give me a break will you?" he muttered, beginning to plot a new course. "It's not as easy as that."

Isn't it?