Ch. 15- Over My Head
A/N: okay, so I am sooooooooo sorry it's taken sooooo long for me to update. I've actually been ready to update for a while now, it's just that it's the end of my senior year and everything's been pretty crazy. That and it's field week- which at my school means creating a theme, decorating our halls, and parading down to Benson Park and doing a demonstration of why our class has the most spirit. You really can't understand it unless you actually go there, so don't feel bad if you tell me myt school's weird- it really, truly is. okay, anyways, enough of rambling and making up excuses- here is ch. 15!
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears and
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind
Over My Head (Cable Car)- The Fray
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Classes were surprisingly alright. Nothing too terribly hard and I felt as though I knew what was going on in the lessons. The first month flew by and there some changes happening. One was the fact that James and Lily had started to use each other's first names. And they were friends. Not on friendly terms, but actually and trulyfriends. The other change that was big was the fact that after Sirius had dumped Lisa he hadn't immediately dated anyone. He'd had plenty of offers, but he turned them all down.
"Still no dates, Padfoot?" I asked him one night as I sat down next to him in the Common Room. It was fairly empty, which was strange as it was getting late.
"Nah, I want a meaningful relationship this year." He said, shaking his head.
"Wait! Do my ears deceive me?" I gasped, in mock shock. "Did Mr. Black just say that he wanted a "meaningful" relationship?"
"Yes, he did." He replied, playfully hitting me.
"And none of your fan club members are up to par?" I asked, giving him a sideways glance.
"That would be a no. Most of them are about as smart as a pinhead." He said, pulling a face. "Actually I think the pinhead would be smarter." He added as an afterthought and I laughed.
"You're terrible, you know that?" I told him and he grinned at me. "What about dearest Lisa?"
"Eh, she turned out not to be my type. And it only took me a month and a half to figure it out. I mean, I thought she might've been, but she didn't really like my friends and she was totally fake." He said, shrugging. "I dunno."
"I'm sure you'll find the right girl, Padfoot." I said, looking at him.
"That's the thing, Sunshine. I've already found her and I am absolutely head over heels for her. I just don't know if she feels the same way about me." He said, shaking his head, a sad smile on his lips. "And I can't decide whether or not I should tell her how I feel. I mean, what if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she doesn't even like me in that way? It would ruin so much and I don't know if I could handle that."
"I think you should follow your heart." I said, after a moment. It broke my heart to say this, but what I wanted most for Sirius was for him to be happy. "If it tells you to go for it, then tell her. I'm sure she feels the same way."
"How can you be so sure?" He asked, looking at me, something indescribable in his eyes.
"Simply because any girl would be amazingly lucky to have a guy like you. And if she doesn't feel the same way, then it's her loss and you'd be better off without her." I said, smiling at him.
"Yeah, well, I don't think I could live without her." He said, looking away from me and into the fire.
I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him how I felt now. He had found a girl that he had fallen for and now I had no chance. He'd never know that I was head over heels for him or that I couldn't live without him. He'd never know that I was completely and utterly in love with him or that he was everything to me. And I hadn't realized just how in over my head I was until that moment.
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October turned into November, which faded into December. Christmas was upon us and the castle certainly looked the part. Everyone was staying at Hogwarts this year because there was to be masquerade ball the day after term ended for fourth year and up. It was all that anyone could talk about- dresses, who would dance with who, and who would be crowned as the best dressed. Nobody was allowed to take a date because that defeated the whole purpose of the masquerade. People were expected to find the person they wanted to be with at the ball.
"So, Lily, what are you going to wear?" I asked, as we ate breakfast a few days after the announcement had been made.
"I dunno yet. I need to get down to Hogsmeade on the next visit and look at that wonderful boutique. They have the most unique gowns."
"Yeah, I should look down there as well." I said, taking a bite of my pancake. The mail arrived and a gray owl dropped a rather large parcel in front of me.
"What is that?" Lily asked, looking at it interestedly.
"I dunno." I replied, opening the card on the package.
Joie-
Inside this parcel you will find something that belonged to your mother. It has been passed down to the eldest girl when she comes of age for generations on her side of the family. You're birthday is coming up soon over break, so consider it a sort of early Christmas/ coming of age present. You may even be able to use it for the ball that's being held at school. Take good care of it and I'm sure you'll love it.
Love Always-
Dad
I picked the package up and took it up to the dorm, with Lily right behind me reading the note Dad had written. As soon as we closed the door, I hurriedly opened the package. Inside was a gorgeous old-fashioned gown. It was black, with a corset that tapered to a narrow point at the waist. From there it flowed out into a full petticoat that reached the floor. It had a pattern of stars woven into it with silver threads and also inside was a pair of what seemed to be black glass slippers.
"Merlin! Look at this gown!" Lily gasped, taking it form em and examining it. "And these shoes! Joie, this must be ages and ages old! And it's still in perfect condition!"
"I know!" I said, just as in awe as she was.
"We've got a free period right now, try it on!" She said, excitedly.
"But, Lily, what if doesn't fit?" I asked, but she would have none of it. She insisted that I try it on.
I slipped it on and Lily did the corset and buttoned up the back. It was perfect, as were the shoes. I examined myself in the mirror- the dress fitted me in all the right places. It was amazing that it fitted me so well, but then, I assumed that there some sort of spell that did that.
"Joie, you look absolutely beautiful!" Lily said, examining me as well. "You are going to wear this for the ball aren't you?"
"Of course! Do you think I'm that thick?" I replied and she merely laughed in response.
The next weekend was Hogsmeade and Lily and I were on a mission- get our costumes absolutely perfect. Our first stop was the boutique to get Lily a dress. As soon as we walked in we knew that this was the right place. The sign in the window wasn't a lie- there were no two dresses that we were same. Lily finally picked out two that she liked and tried them on. The first one was a deep Sapphire blue that had layers and layers of flowing material. It was strapless and beautiful. But the second one was the one that was perfect for Lily.
It was white and petite in the top. At the waist it began to flow out into a looser fit. The material was soft and the bottom had layers like the first one, but this dress seemed to fit Lily better. Whether it was the fact that it contrasted with her vibrant red hair perfectly or seemed to fit to her every curve, I didn't know. But I did know that if she didn't buy that dress I was going to buy it for her.
Our next stop was a little costume shop. It was nearly invisible- in fact you would walk right past it if you didn't know it was there. We went in and browsed for a few minutes, just looking at our options.
"I think you need to get the shooting star mask, Joie." Lily said, as we looked at the specialty wall behind the counter. "It matches you dress perfectly- look, the stars are even silver!"
"Yeah, and you should get the one decorated with lilies. A lily for Lily!" I said, and we both laughed.
We spent the rest of the day walking around the village and talking about the ball. I wasn't really a dressy up sort of person, but I was excited about this. Maybe I could meet someone that would take my mind off of Sirius. I'd been growing more and more depressed about the whole situation since we'd talked. I hid it, but I knew Lily knew something was wrong and I was almost positive that James and Remus knew something was up too.
"Let's grab a drink at the Three Broomsticks, eh?" Lily said, and I nodded. We walked in and I saw James and Remus sitting at a table. We headed over there after grabbing a couple of Butterbeers.
"Great, you got her here." Remus said, nodding at Lily.
"Of course I did." She replied, easily. I looked from Remus to Lily.
"What's going on?" I asked, confused.
"Pull up a seat Sunshine." James said, in a strangefriendly voice that I never heard him use.
"Yeah, so this definitely classifies has strange and odd behavior." I said, sitting down. "Where's Sirius?"
"Ah, and we get to the subject of our little meeting." Remus said, in the same voice James was using. I looked at my three friends and decided that they had gone crazy. In any case, I didn't like where this conversation was heading.
"Dear old Padfoot is still looking for a costume for the ball. He has no idea that we're here. We told him we were going to poke around Zonko's and that we would meet up with him later." James said.
"Okay, so why is Sirius the subject of this meeting?" I asked, almost afraid of what the answer would be.
"We've noticed some odd behavior between the two of you lately. Sirius doesn't date, you're depressed. What's going on?" Remus asked, folding his hands. He looked like one of those muggle psychiatrists.
"I have no idea what you're on about." I said, smoothly, with a shrug.
"Look, Joie, if you won't tell them I will. They came to me to ask if I knew anything and I told them it was up to you to tell them. But this is getting ridiculous." Lily said, and Ishot her a death glare.
"Okay, fine, so maybe I like him." I said, and the three of them exchanged a satisfied smile. "But it's a little too late. Has been for a couple of months now."
"What makes you say that?" James asked, frowning.
"We were talking and he was telling me about this girl he was head over heels for and so I know I've got zero chance." I said, indifferently.
"But Joie-" Remus started and I cut him off.
"No, Remus, don't make excuses. He's free to like whomever he wants. And the only thing I want is for him to be truly happy." I said, seriously.
"Bloody Merlin, you're really crazy for him, aren't you?" James said, and I nodded.
"Well, we'll just have to show him that you're the girl for him." Remus said, and I looked at him.
"You mean, you guys are okay with this?" I said, surprised.
"Sunshine, we've known for a while now." James said, smiling at me.
"How long?" I asked.
"Since last year." Remus said.
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Now that James and Remus knew, it was a little easier to bear. I didn't have to worry as much about keeping everything under wraps. I had no idea of how I was going to tell Sirius how I felt, but everything was put on hold because the ball was coming up. And I knew the boys were planning something- they were being very secretive.
"Alright, so, let's start getting ready." Lily said, the day of the ball.
"So, I'll do hair and you do make-up." I said, as we slipped our gowns on.
It took us two and a half hours all together to get ready. Which was pretty amazing if I do say so myself. I did Lily's hair in an elegant bun with a few tendrils framing her face. Then I stuck a few lilies in her hair to offset the mask and her dress. She did her make-up modestly as she was pretty fair skinned and she looked absolutely gorgeous.
I styled my hair in a simple up-do. Lily did my make-up in darker colors than her own and stuck little star pins in my hair. We checked our appearances in the mirror, declared ourselves perfect, and headed down to the Great Hall.
"Wow, the decorating committee really outdid themselves." Lily said, as we walked through.
"Yeah, no kidding." I replied, looking around. There were giant masks in the four corners of the hall and the ceiling was a clear night with thousands of stars. There was a stage set up at one end of the hall and about a hundred small tables at the other end.
"Ladies and Gentlemen! May I have you attention!" Dumbledore's voice boomed out from the stage. "Before the band comes out, we have a little opening show!"
Music stuck up from somewhere and I recognized it as a song from Lily's collection. It was "Get Down Tonight" by KC and The Sunshine Band. And who do you suppose was up on the stage doing a nice little choreographed dance in perfect rhythm to it- none other than the Remus, James, and Sirius. They were even dressed in American muggle clothing: bellbottoms and feathered shirts, and of course platform shoes.
Do a little dance (lasso, lasso)
Make a little love (right, right, left, left)
Get down tonight (down, up)
Get down tonight (down up)
It was, quite possibly, the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life. But they were really good. There was a point towards the end where the all did a back handspring and went down into the splits, turn over onto their backs and sprung back up again. How they did it in platform shoes was totally beyond me. When the song ended the whole hall erupted into cheers as the boys bowed and waved.
"Thank you to the Marauders for that entertaining show. And now, the band you have all been waiting for- Potions Gone Bad!" Dumbledore shouted and the band came on to set up.
"Well, that was quite interesting." Lily said, still chuckling. "I especially liked the part where they went down into the splits."
"You too, eh?" I replied, smiling cheekily at her.
The first part of the dance was kind of boring. I turned down three or four requests to dance, preferring to just watch from the sides. Lily was dancing with tall, dark, and handsome boy- or at least as handsome as he could be with a mask. He had curly black hair and a nice smile. I wondered if James was watching. I had no idea where any of the guys were- we hadn't told each other what we would be wearing.
"Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice that you standing here all by yourself." A voice from behind me said. I turned and saw a tall boy with light brown, slightly messy hair standing there. He was wearing suit with a cape and his mask was half white, half black. "Would you care to dance?"
I was on the verge of declining, when something stopped me. There was something about the way he was looking at me that made me take the hand he was offering and allowing him to lead onto the dance floor.
"You seem very familiar, do I know you?" I asked him, as we whirled around the dance floor.
"Possibly, fair maiden, but you are wearing a mask, as am I, so it is a little difficult to tell." He replied, with an air of ease and confidence.
"So it would seem." I said, softly.
I spent a good couple of hours dancing with him and I felt as though we'd known each other for ages. He was charming and sweet, with a sense of humor that could match my own.
"Hey, do you want to go out to the grounds?" He asked, as a song finished.
"Yeah." I said, and he led the way to a beautiful fountain as we sat down on the edge of it.
"You asked me who I was and if you knew me." He said, looking into my eyes. "The answer is yes, you do know me."
"How?" I asked, frowning,
"I was given advice by a very good friend of mine a few months back." He said, standing up. I was confused- what did this have to do with how I knew him? "I was told to follow my heart and tell a fair maiden, such as yourself, how I felt."
His words seemed vaguely familiar, yet I couldn't quite place them. In fact, everything about him seemed familiar and I couldn't figure out why.
"So, fair maiden, it is now time for me to reveal to you my identity- although I'm thinking you may have guessed who I am already." He continued, turning to face me. He reached up and pulled his mask off and I saw-
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dun dun dun- who could it be? I dunno- actually I do, but you don't! anyways, review please and maybe I will tell you who this masked boy is- if haven't already guessed...