Ch. 17- Endings and Beginnings

A/N: wow, look who finally decided to update...me! guys, I am soooooooooo sorry I haven't updated for almost two months, I know you must be ready to tar and feather me in a public square. but, I have been pretyt busy between work eveyr day and college stuff and my friend and I starting a band and what not- I know, I know, no excuse, but hey, there are only so many hours in a day and I do happen to need some of them for sleep...so with out further ado, here is chapter 17! enjoy :p

And life is a road and I wanna keep goin'
Love is a river I wanna keep flowin'
Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I want to be standing
At the beginning with you
At The Beginning- Richard Marx and Donna Lewis

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"My dearest Lily, you have come to find out who I am, no doubt." He said, and she nodded. "Well, then I shouldn't disappoint you, now should I?"

He took his mask off and standing there was James. Suddenly everything clicked and I didn't know how I hadn't realized it before. All of it- the letters, the mystery, and the hidden identity. Of course he wasn't going to tell her who he was because she would have never gone for it. And now he had made her fall for him. I had to hand it to him- he was good.

"James?" Lily said, in a shocked voice. "But how? I mean, it couldn't have been you."

"Why not?" He asked, a slight grin playing on his lips.

"Because…because…it's just not possible! I mean, the boy met at the ball was the exact opposite of you!" She spluttered.

"The boy you met at the ball was me. The boy you've known for the past four years is also me. I've grown up a lot, even since last year, but I knew you would never see that unless you didn't know it was me." He said, the grin spreading across his face. "I knew that you would never give me a full chance until you knew that I wasn't so pigheaded anymore. And Lily that's what you've seen these past couple of months."

"But all of the letters- those definitely didn't sound like you. And the things you said at the ball definitely weren't things that you would say." She said, shaking her head. "Everything about the guy I met at the ball contradicts you're very being, Potter. He was mature and polite and charming!"

"Oh and I'm not charming?" James asked, pretending to be hurt. "Love can make you do crazy things, Evans."

"Love? Ha!" She laughed, throwing her hands up in the air. "How could you love me when I've done nothing but reject you and yell at you and throw everything you've ever tried to do back in your face?"

"Simply because you're the only thing I've never been able to have. The first time you rejected me I swore to myself that somehow I would make you fall for me and then I would have you. Even if it took the rest of my life." He said, looking at her. "And I've done exactly that."

"But you don't have me yet. I might have fallen for you, but I never said that I was yours." She said, and his face fell. "How do I know that weren't just lying to me to get what you want?"

"Oh, c'mon Lily, when have I ever lied about who I was? That's one thing I would never do- especially to you." He retorted, indignantly. "Honestly, I thought that I finally had you convinced that I'm not the bad guy you've made me out to be."

"I just can't ignore the past four years, James." She said, quietly.

"But obviously you can ignore the past six months." He said, sourly. "Look, I get it, okay? It all comes down to the same thing- I will never be good enough for you, so I should just give up. That's what you want, right? It's what you've wanted for four years now."

"Well, I-" She started, but James cut her off.

"No, don't worry about it, I'll leave you alone. I will never bother you again- that's a promise." He said, in an even tone. And with that he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving Lily standing there- and leaving all of us shocked. After a minute, Lily headed back up to the castle too.

"What the hell just happened?" Sirius asked, looking as though we were in the twilight zone- which we may have well been in.

"Prongs just said that he was giving up on Lily." I said, and saying it out loud made it sound more bizarre.

"Okay, just making sure." He replied, nodding his head slightly.

"But why would he just give up on her like that?" I asked, shaking my head. "I mean, he's been in love with her for, like, ever."

"Well, I think he just got tired of her rejecting him." Remus said, thoughtfully. "That's why he created the "Masked Prince Charming". He wanted Lily to know the real him- the guy that we all know. And I think that when she didn't believe that it could possibly be him, he snapped."

"But it's hard to think that the Evans chase is over." Sirius said. "I mean, Prongs isn't Prongs if he isn't constantly fawning over Evans."

"Yeah, well, let's just see what tomorrow brings, eh?" Remus replied, with a shrug.

The next day brought more weirdness with it. James didn't say a word to Lily, didn't acknowledge her presence- in fact, he acted as though she didn't exist. Lily was in denial of the whole situation- she was hanging on the belief that James would start being himself again at any second. But she was sorely disappointed. The rest of the school didn't know what was going on, but they started noticing that James Potter, chaser of Lily Evans extraordinaire, was completely ignoring her. It was as though someone had turned the world up side down.

"I don't get it." Lily said a few nights later in the dorm. "I mean, he's been chasing me this long and I've rejected millions of times before- why give up now?"

"Lily, there's only so many times a person can be rejected. Besides, you rejected the fact that he went to great lengths to show you who he truly is." I replied, shaking my head. "And trust me, those letters and the things he told you were really him."

"I've messed up big time, haven't I?" She asked, and I nodded. "Well, then, there's only one thing to do- I've got to make it right."

"Whoa, hold on a second," I said, holding up my hand as she got up. "Are you saying you like James?"

"No," She said, very seriously. "I'm saying that I am head over heels in love with him. It's taken four years and huge blow out to make me realize that. I just hope that I'm not too late."

"Well, go then, and don't let him shrug you off. Make him listen." I said, and she smiled at me gratefully before dashing out of the dorms.

"Hey, Sunshine! Where's Evans going?" Sirius asked, as I came down to the Common Room.

"To tell Prongs that she loves him." I replied, smiling.

"What? But she shot him down!" He said, in disbelief.

"And she just realized that she was completely and utterly wrong." I said. "Where is James anyways?"

"Wallowing in self pity on the Qudditch pitch." Remus said, looking over the book he was reading. "I'm surprised that he hasn't gone and drowned himself him the lake."

"Well, I hope he listens to her." I sighed, sitting down next to Sirius.

"Me too, Sunshine, me too."

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It turned out that James didn't listen to Lily. In fact, he just left her alone again. I just didn't get it. I mean, hadn't he already proven his point that Lily should have accepted who he was and believed him? Why was he still pushing her away? Any idiot could see that she was miserable now and that she had come to terms with her feelings. And the worst part was this: she was giving up now too.

"Look, Joie, he doesn't want me anymore, he's made that clear." She said, in a firm voice. We'd been arguing over the issue and she just wouldn't listen to reason.

"Lily, can you honestly say that he's truly given up on you?" I asked, skeptically.

"Yes, I can." She said, nodding. "It just wasn't meant to be, okay? Now stop pushing it, I'm sick of talking about it."

"You really fell hard for him, didn't you?" I said, looking at her and shaking my head. "I can see it in your eyes- you're devastated that he won't even look at you anymore."

"Okay, so maybe I am." She replied, shortly. "I tried to show him that he was right, I tried telling him. It's just too late for me."

"No it isn't." I said, standing up. "Not if I have anything to do with it."

I went downstairs and looked around for Sirius or Remus. I found Remus sitting in a corner attempting to drown out the noisy Common Room.

"Where is dear Mr. Potter?" I asked, him and he looked up.

"Where do you think? Out on the pitch. That's where he spends all of his time now." He said, sourly. "I tried talking to him, Sirius tried to drag him back. Nothing's worked."

"Yeah, well, I think I can change that." I said, turning on my heel and making my way down to the Qudditch pitch.

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"So, I have these two friends and they sort of fell for each other. Only one of them didn't realize it until the other disguised himself. She kinda made a fool of herself and he got mad." I said to James' back. I'd been standing there for about five minutes thinking of what to say. "And so he stopped talking to her. Only, she realized a few days later that she felt the same way- she'd just been a little scared to admit it. So, she found him and tried to tell him how she really felt, but he wouldn't listen. She's totally heartbroken and in denial and he still won't talk to anybody. Now what I can't figure out is this: the boy has been madly in love with this girl for four years now. Why is he rejecting her when she finally realizes that she's in love with him too?"

"Go away, Sunshine. Just leave me alone." He said, in a monotonous voice.

"Yeah, see, I would but you're being a bloody idiot and you seem to be the only one who doesn't know it." I replied, walking closer to him.

"I mean it, there's nothing anyone can do." He said, not looking at me. "It's over."

"Well, I don't believe you and frankly, Prongsie, old boy, I'm sick of your wallowing, self pitying behavior." I said, an edge coming into my voice. "Just get over yourself and tell her that you still love her."

"What part of "leave me the bloody hell alone" did you not understand?" He asked, angrily standing up and facing me. "It's none of your business!"

"It's my business that you're just going to walk away from the one girl that you're supposed to be with. It's my business that Lily cries herself to sleep every night and can't seem to grasped that you're just being a pigheaded ignoramus!" I said, raising my voice. "It's my business that you're about to make the worst mistake of your life! It's my business because I'm your friend!"

"Yeah, well, this is sorta my personal business, not my friends' business." He said, turning back around.

"Really? Well, you know what? It was sorta my personal business that Jon raped me, but that didn't stop you from butting in, now did it?" I shot back and he stiffened. "And you know what else? It was the best thing that you could've done. Now, I'm just repaying the favor."

"Look, I appreciate it and all, but really, there's nothing wrong." He said, looking at me again.

"Too bad I know differently." I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Sunshine, I mean it, don't butt in. This can't be fixed. She doesn't want me and she can't accept me for who I am and-" SMACK! He was cut off buy the fact that I slapped him as hard as I could across the face. "Bloody Merlin! What the bloody hell was that for?" He yelled, clutching his cheek.

"For being an pigheaded ignoramus, you dolt." I said, and he glared at me. "Listen up, because I'm only going to tell you this once, okay?" I added, and he nodded silently.

"Lily is madly, head over heels in love with you- this is a fact. You need to get over yourself and tell her that it's not too late and that you still love her- cause I know you do." I said, and he looked at me, shocked I was telling him what to do with his love life. "Finally, do us all a favor and stop sulking down here in all of your spare time- you're driving us insane. I miss the James you were before all of this happened. Besides, you could never pull off that depressed image anyways."

"Has she really been crying herself to sleep?" He asked, after a minute.

"Yes, she has and I'm sick of seeing her like this." I replied, with a nod. "And just think, Prongs, this is your dream come true: Lily Evans loves you!"

"Yeah, no kidding." He said, quietly. "Hey, Sunshine, can you do me a favor and get Lily to the Room of Requirements in an hour?"

"Yeah, sure, but what-" I said, but I didn't finish my sentence because he took off running up to the castle. I sighed and started after him.

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"C'mon, Lils, get dressed, I have a surprise for you." I said, walking into the dorm.

"Nothing is going to make me move from this bed ever again." She moaned. I rolled my eyes, not in the mood to deal with more depressed behavior.

"I'm serious, you'll love what I've got for you." I said, trying to pull her up. "And I don't think that you'll want to go in your pajama's. But either way you're going." I added, making it clear that I would drag her there if I had to.

"Well, fine, but it'd better be good." She said, menacingly.

I led Lily up to the seventh floor corridor and to the wall with the Room of Requirements. I paced back and forth three times, thinking of James. A door appeared and I hoped it was the right one.

"Alright, the surprise is in there." I said, opening the door and shoving Lily inside. I closed the door and walked away.

"And just where might you be going all by yourself?" A voice from the shadows said. I jumped about a mile and turned around.

"Sirius! Don't do that, you bloody bugger!" I said, my heart racing somewhere in my throat. "You scared the bloody shit out of me!"

"Aw, I'm sorry. I just wanted to find you so that we could go and have a nice conversation in a classroom or a broom closet or some other equally private place." He said, sticking his lower lip out and talking in a baby voice.

"Honestly, Padfoot, did that stupid kind of prattle work on any of your girlfriends?" I asked. "Actually, no, wait, don't answer that, I'm sure there were a few that it did work on."

"Oh, very funny." He said, sarcastically. "I know that you're falling weak to my power."

"Yes, I just can't go on. You'll have to carry me!" I exclaimed, pressing my hand to my forehead. He took this as his cue to sweep me off my feet and into his arms.

"I always knew that you were just a damsel in distress." He said, dramatically carrying me into a classroom nearby.

"Yes, and you were just waiting for yourchance to sweep in and be my knight in shining armor, right?" I said, sarcastically.

"I've rescued you more times than you can count and you know it." He said, smiling cockily. "And likewise, you have rescued me in ways that you never even knew." He added, in a softer tone.

"Like how?" I asked, looking at him.

"All of those summers that I would run away to your house. Having someplace to go to get away from my family was a blessing." He replied. "Being my friend based off who I was and not who I was related to. Being there for me, especially when my father, you know, punished me. And just by being you- that's the greatest gift you've ever given me."

"Well, I was simply returning a favor, because you've been there for me during everything." I said, smiling at him. "And that means more to me than you could even know." I added. He leaned in and just as we were about to kiss, the door to the classroom banged open. Sirius still had me in his arms, but the noise had startled us, so he dropped me. We looked at the door and saw Lisa standing there.

"I hate to break up this little snog fest," She said, giving me a look of hatred, "but Sirius I need to talk to you. It's urgent."

"Okay," He said, slowly. "I'll be right back."

I stood up and dusted myself off. As much as I wanted to eavesdrop, I respected their space. I sat down on a desk and waited. It seemed like ages later when Sirius came back. He looked like someone had hit him with a freight train and then backed it up over him again.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, just stared at the ground.

"Lisa's pregnant." He said, finally and when he looked up there was a look of shock and fear in his eyes.

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dun dun dun...alrighty well, that's where we'll end for right now- hopfully I'll update sooner than I did last time. please review- it helps me write faster- or at least remind that I haven;t updated and then I feel guitly...okay yeah, definitely review:p