Ch. 18- Broken Hearts and Lies

A/N: hey- look, it didn't even take me two weeks! I am so proud of myself- I hope you guys are too! okay, so I am going to be starting the sequel here for this story pretty soon- there's only like 4 chapters left of this one! so, I just thought I'd give you guys a heads up...okay, here's the next chapter- enjoy:p

And he said
there goes my life
there goes my future, my everything
might as well kiss it all good-bye
there goes my life

There Goes My Life- Kenny Chesney

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"Excuse me?" I said, thinking I'd heard wrong. "Pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"But how?" I asked, in a sort of shocked tone. "I mean, I know how, but you know…" I trailed off.

"Well, it was a month or two ago. We had broken up like a month before that, but I decided to give her one more shot." He said, looking at the floor. "We went to the Room of Requirements- I'd had it set as a nice restaurant dinner. And well, there was some fire whiskey and we were both drunk. We started kissing and it got really heated and one thing led to another. It's all kinda a blur of drinking and kissing and taking each other's clothes off and…well, you can guess what happened after that."

"And now she's pregnant?" I asked, still not understanding that part. I was hearing what he was saying, but my mind wasn't moving fast enough to comprehend all of it at once.

"Yes, well, she said that when she m-missed last month that she didn't really think anything of it. But when she missed this month she got w-worried. She went to Madame Pomfrey for a-a pregnancy test and she t-tested p-p-positive." He stuttered. He looked close to just snapping and throwing himself out a window. "How could I have let this happen? How could I have been so stupid? Merlin! I don't even like her!" He yelled, turning and shoving everything off the nearest desk. I'd never seen Sirius like this before.

"Then why did you do it?" I asked, quietly.

"I dunno! I'd worked a system out to the point that I could imagine it was you. I couldn't deal with the fact that I'd never have you, so I made other girls you." He said, sighing. "I mean, I was drunk to the point that if you asked me, then, who I was with I would've said you. The next morning I really believed it too. I went along thinking it had been you, but then Lisa came up and started talking about it."

"So, what are you going to do?" I asked, after minute.

"Well, I just can't leave her, now can I?" He said, turning to face me. "I'll have to help her through it."

"And that means I'm out of the picture, doesn't it?" I said, sadly.

"Joie, c'mon, we can work something out-" He started, but then my temper got the better of me.

"Work something out?" I snapped, standing up. "And just what do you propose, Sirius? What, that we could just be one big happy family? I don't want to have to share you and I don't want you to turn your back on your baby. So, really, the only logical solution is that I have to give you up."

"Don't do this! If we just talk it I think we could find another way." He pleaded. "Joie, please, I don't love her- I don't even like her. I want to be with you."

"Yes, well, I think we should take a break, at least until all of this mess with Lisa is taken care of." I said, in a surprisingly strong voice. "I'm not going to be the third wheel."

"But you'll wait for me?" He asked, hopefully.

"I-I can't promise that." I said, looking down.

"What do you mean?"

"Sirius, I'm not just going to sit around and wait for you to have a baby! I can't do that and you can't ask me to do that!" I said, holding back tears.

"I thought you loved me." He said, the hurt evident in his voice.

"I do. But I really can't be expected to share you with her. It just wouldn't work- somewhere along the way it would just fall apart." I replied, looking up at him. "I'm sorry." I added and then I left.

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I knew it was too good to be true- just when I thought I had him someone else had taken him away. It was the hardest thing I had to do, breaking up with him. But I wasn't going to sit there while Lisa went on about a baby and everything that needed to be done and what a happy family they would all be. I couldn't stand that, I really couldn't. And it was for the best in the end.

Lily and James were going out now. I don't quite know exactly what went on in the Room of Requirements, but it worked. The whole school was shocked when the next day it was announced that James Potter had finally gotten Lily Evans.

"You okay?" Lily asked a week or so later as we got dressed.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, nodding.

"Look, don't worry about it, it'll all work out." She said.

I wasn't so sure. Sirius and I talked, but it was more of a forced civility than anything. I missed the way we used to be, but I couldn't imagine going back to that now. It was awkward and I hated it. Lisa on the other hand was perfectly content. She was beaming as Sirius accompanied her everywhere. In fact, she didn't seem to worried about having a baby at fifteen.

"Yeah, you're right." I said, forcing a smile.

"Hey, Sunshine, you're coming to the Qudditch game, right?" James said, as soon as he saw me.

"Of course I am, Prongs, why wouldn't I?" I said, shaking my head at him. He just shrugged and draped his arm around Lily.

"Ready for that Charms exam today?" Remus asked, as we followed James and Lily out of the portrait hole.

"Moony, I was born ready." I replied, cockily and he laughed. We were passing a group of fifth years and I saw Lisa and I could here talking.

"Yeah, I'm about three and a half months along." She was saying, happily. I looked at her- perfect figure, like she had always had, perfect features, and-

"Wait a second." I muttered, turning around and walking towards her. "How far along did you say you were?"

"Three and a half, what's it to you, Emerson?" She replied, icily.

"Just wondering."

I walked off to catch up with the others. Three and a half months- why wasn't she showing? With a body as petite as hers, she should surely be gaining something.

"Hey, where did you go?" Remus asked, as fell into step with him.

"No where." I said, shrugging.

Later that day during my free period I stopped up at the Hospital Wing. I wasn't sure if Madame Pomfrey would tell me if she'd given a pregnancy test or not, but it was worth a shot.

"Yes, Miss Emerson, how can I help you?" She asked, when I knocked on her office door.

"I was wondering if you could tell me whether or not you gave a fifth year a pregnancy test." I asked, hoping that she would just answer.

"I can't release information like that to students." She said, firmly.

"But you'd have to keep something like that on file, right? I mean, it would be in the medical files." I said, an idea coming to me.

"Well, yes, it would be." She said, slowly. "Why are you so interested?"

"Just wondering."

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Later that night when everyone was at dinner, I snuck into the Hospital Wing and went to the filing room. I made sure to lock the door behind me and then I set to work. I couldn't remember Lisa's last name, but the files were sorted by house anyways, so it didn't matter. I looked through her file very carefully and found- not to my surprise- that she had never been down for a pregnancy test. I didn't know how I hadn't seen it before. The little bitch was nothing more than a pathetic liar. Well, a convincingly pathetic liar, that is.

After I was done in the Hospital Wing, I went down to the Great Hall.

"Sirius, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked, him.

"Yeah, sure." He said, standing up and following me.

"I have something to tell you and I swear to you that is the honest truth and that I didn't make it up." I said, turning to face him.

"Okay." He said, giving a look that clearly said he worried for my sanity. I took a deep breath and then-

"Lisa's lying about being pregnant."

"What?"

"She's not pregnant." I told him. "I mean, think about, she says that she's three and a half months along. Why isn't she showing? With a body like hers, she should be showing by now."

"Joie," Sirius sighed, but I continued.

"And none of the teachers are acting as if anything is wrong. You'd think that if she was pregnant the teachers would know." I said, crossing my arms. "Sirius, she's been lying the whole time."

"Oh c'mon, she wouldn't lie about that." He said, waving me off. "I mean, she's not that low."

"Wanna bet?" I retorted. "She's been furious ever since we started dating and she would've done anything to get you back."

He thought about this for a second and then he turned around and went back into the Great Hall. I didn't know if he believed me or not, so I followed him to see what he was going to do. He walked up to Lisa and bent down to talk in her ear. She grinned when she saw him, but as he talked the grin faded and a look of fear replaced it. He looked at her, shook his head in disgust, and walked away.

"Sirius, don't leave me! I love you!" She shouted after him. He had a murderous look on his face and I smirked to myself as I sat down by Lily.

"What's going on?" She asked, frowning.

"I'll tell ya later." I said, piling food on to my plate.

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Sirius and I didn't get back together right away. I'd been the one who broken it off, so it was up to me to make things right again. And although I wanted nothing more than to live happily ever after with him, I needed to make it up to him that I'd broken up with him. I just had to find him first.

"Joie, just tell him you love him and give him a nice snog." James said, one night as we- and I mean Lily and I by "we"- were discussing what to do when I found him.

"Honestly, James, that is not what she needs to do." Lily sighed, rolling her eyes. "Look, where is his favorite place?"

"I dunno, he has a lot of them." I replied, shrugging.

"Well, is there one place that might be particularly special?" She asked and I shook my head. "How about a place where you guys had you're first kiss or met or-"

"Lily that's it!" I exclaimed cutting her off and jumping up. "I know where to find him!"

I ran out of the Common Room and up to the Astronomy Tower. I was hoping he would be there. After all, that was the place that we had become friends.

But, I had no luck. He wasn't up there. I climbed up to the roof and looked up at the sky. I was sitting at the same place I'd been that night six years ago. As I gazed up at the stars I thought about how much I wanted Sirius to be there. I just wanted to tell him that I loved him and that I wanted to be with him.

"Hey, what are you doing up there?" A voice broke my thoughts and I lost my balance. Then I was falling…right into a pair of strong arms. "Whoa, déjà vu or what?" I looked up and saw Sirius standing there.

"Yeah, really." I said, with a weak laugh. My heart was beating somewhere in my throat and my stomach was somewhere near my feet. "I was looking for you."

"Were you now?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. He hadn't put me down yet.

"Yeah." I said. "Look, I'm sorry for the way I reacted. It's just that when you told me that she was pregnant I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't want to share you- especially not with that bitch- and I didn't want to let you go. And then you started talking about working it out. But I didn't want to work it out- I wanted you all to myself."

"I know and I shouldn't have asked you to do that." He said, and my eyes met his.

"I love you and I should've never broken up with you. I just didn't see how else it was going to work." I told him quietly. "I want to be with you- I don't want to have to share you or watch you with someone else."

"Joie, you're the only one for me and I swear to you that I'll never hurt you." He said, dead serious. I looked into his eyes for a few more seconds before I kissed him. He tightened his grip on me as he kissed me back. I wrapped my arms around his neck as the kiss deepened. When we finally broke for air we were both panting and flushed. I'd never felt so much from one kiss and it had my head spinning.

"Wow." I said, breathlessly. I rested my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes.

"You're telling me." He said, and I laughed.

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alrighty, well, alls well that ends well, right? remember- reviews are always appreciated!