Title: Sake and Shinobi
Rating: PG
Pairing: None
Word Count: 581
Warning/s: Contains a drunk!Yondaime (someday, I promise, I will write him serious…and sober)
Summary: The Yellow Flash is Konoha's best ninja—and he's not ashamed to say so.
Notes: A birthday present for bitethehandthatfeeds here on ff dot net; she asked for the story behind one of my favorite livejournal icons, which is quoted in Yondaime's last words in this story. She also asked for cameos from Jiraiya, Sandaime, and the kids. The hat is just an extra bonus!

"Six!" he crowed, slamming the cup down on the desk so hard that bottles jumped. "You're going down, old man--old men." He blinked fuzzily. "Hokage-sama. You wanna play too?"

Sarutobi laughed and settled down into the only remaining chair, beside Jiraiya-sensei, who was--as usual--grumbling and scribbling something in a notebook. "I doubt I could beat you even with a head-start; your boy's remarkably inventive, Jiraiya. Who else could think of three different ways to kill someone with a wooden sandal?"

"It was supposed to be four," Jiraiya said a little snippily.

"'Cause I'm the fourth, y'see," his student explained. "But I've only messed up six times so far; Jiraiya-sensei's up to nine--" He cut off with a hiccup and sat back, looking rather surprised at himself. The large red-and-white hat slipped crookedly to the side of his head; he looked up in bemusement and it made a hasty dive for his nose.

Chuckling, Sarutobi reached out to avail himself of one of the numerous bottles littering the desk. "Looks like that hat's a little small. We may have to have a new one made for you, Yondaime-sama."

"His head's too big," Jiraiya observed clinically. "All right, kid, a card-board box."

"Use blood to write the kanji for explosions," the new Yondaime said promptly. "Rip an edge off, throw it like a shuriken towards eyes or throat--Hey! My head is not too big!"

"You need a haircut," Jiraiya said bluntly. "And that's only two. Take a drink." He poured a new cup and pushed it across the desk.

"That's an interesting variation on the game," Sarutobi remarked, watching the young Fourth Hokage down his penalty with a disgruntled grumble. "I might have expected it from you."

"Orochimaru and I used to play it," Jiraiya answered, keeping one eye on the young man who was currently trying to rescue a hat that seemed determined to escape from his head. "The kid's pretty good at it, too, 'xcept he holds his sake even worse than Oro--"

"Sensei!" a young voice snapped accusingly from the door. All three men looked round quickly, guiltily. But it was the new Yondaime Hokage whose eyes brightened first.

"Rin-chan! Kakashi-kun! C'mon in--" He waved vaguely around the room. "'F you don' mind, Hokage-sama?"

"It's your office now," Sarutobi said mildly. "Hello, Rin-san, Kakashi-kun. You've come to congratulate your sensei?"

"We've come to stop him from making a fool of himself," Kakashi growled.

Rin kicked his ankle. "We know Sensei has a meeting with the Daimyo tomorrow morning, and we wanted to make sure--we know he doesn't, ah, deal with alcohol very well..."

"I'm watching out for him!" Jiraiya said indignantly.

"That's why we worried," Kakashi muttered.

"Hey!" their sensei protested, blinking at them with wounded blue eyes. He clambered unsteadily to his feet, hat askew, lithe body a little awkward with sake and his unfamiliar new robes. "I'll be fine. I am the Yondaime Hokage--"

"Sensei, watch out!" Rin cried out. Too late. Kakashi was already moving, dropping down to the floor to support himself with his hands as he swept his leg out to take out his sensei's legs in a move he must have learned from Gai.

None of them even saw the drunk young Hokage move. One moment he was standing there blinking owlishly at his students, and the next he was hanging upside down from the ceiling, arms folded, grinning at them all.

"Worship me, mortals!"

A final note: a reviewer recently brought to my attention the lamentable fact that I have not defined chiaroscuro, although it's the title of this entire series. The term comes from a painting technique in the Italian Renaissance which focused on the use of light and shade in paintings and drawings, and its effect. Thus the summary: "Light and darkness, crack and angst." Something of everything…and perhaps, added together, they make a little bit more.

Thank you very much, everyone, for your reviews. If there's a particular pairing or situation you'd like to see from me, feel free to place a request along with a review! I make no promises, but I do write on commission…