Soleil
15. HELL?
Bella waited, but Edward did not reappear at any point from that Monday morning up until she was being driven to Port Angeles by Jessica on Tuesday evening. His future rested on her shoulders. Doubt lingered in her mind if she was capable of resolving anything. Any step forward was marginalized by how much further they had to go on this journey. She reminded herself to be strong willed for his sake and her own.
Her time spent chatting with Angela and Jessica was frivolous. Perhaps even empty to her. This trip was all fun and games to them. But if Jessica knew she was driving Bella to the literal definition of hell, she probably would have sped and manically cackled along the way. Let's be honest, Bella could tell Jessica did not like her and was being fake nice to her. But Bella in a sense was doing the same as she followed the charade of being this story's Bella Swan. She was not fond of Jessica latching onto Edward, even if it was not true. No date had actually occurred between Jessica and Edward. But every time it was mentioned, Bella's skin crawled.
Walking around Port Angeles, Bella noticed how it was more polished and quainter than Forks. A perfect mask for Hell. Bella knew what to expect for this evening. She etched its details in her brain. She would have done so even if Edward hadn't bullied her into reciting the events in order over and over again until she could repeat it in her sleep. She would have brushed him off and just asked to memorize the text…if only she could read French. Like him. She clicked her teeth, ignoring Angela and Jessica. That was something he had still yet to explain. Or why he hid the fact that he could. She needed to ask him about this, but there were always more important issues at hand that took precedence.
When it was her time to depart to the bookstore, she switched things up and did her best to persuade Jessica and Angela to join her. But their faces remained unphased by her desperate pleas and they walked away from her, chattering happily and oblivious to the trouble they had just subjected to her alone.
Bella cowered in the bookstore for over an hour, but time stopped at some point. People still perused the shelves, but the grandfather clock behind the check-out register didn't budge another minute after 7:15. A sense of dizziness and weakness in her legs and knees forced her to the floor. Her fear was not elicited from the impending altercation with idiots with horrific intentions. No, it stemmed from the pivotal event about to take place. Her time with Mike was about to exceed exponentially while her time with Edward diminished into nothing. If she couldn't change or alter more of her actions defined by the story…her and Edward were doomed as some star-crossed lovers. Well, that wasn't right because it was a one-sided love, but Bella refused to give up the comparison.
She was acutely aware that Edward did not feel the same about her…it was a nagging critical inner voice that was becoming more difficult to extinguish. But she ignored it, pulling herself back together piece by piece and standing up. She forced her footsteps to her exit. Time is what she could not avoid or rewind after it passed. Despite her trembling hands she pushed open the glass door, committing her resolve to push on. For Edward.
Maybe herself too.
OoOoOoOoO
She wandered aimlessly, crossing another road. Failing to find the boardwalk, as she knew she would. Bella turned east at the next street corner. She always went left. The book had told her it took a left to stumble across the despicable men, so left it was.
Finally, a group of four men turned around the corner she was heading to for her fifth left. Her description in the book was on par, the men looked grimy and older than her. She passed by them wearily, knowing the expected outcome.
"Hey there!" one of them called to her.
"What a cheap way to force Mike to appear in this story," Bella mumbled disgruntledly. She walked away, quickening her pace.
"Hey, wait!" one of them had the audacity to call after her, like they knew her.
They played a game of cat and mouse for a few good minutes. The brutes ended up winning when they took their detour, as expected. Bella walked into the street. "Stay away from me," she said, lacking conviction. There was no need to sound strong or fearless. Her savior was on his way.
"Don't be like that, sugar," he called, and his raucous laughter triggered her annoyance.
"I wouldn't even be in this situation if this numbskull didn't want to wander around alone in the dark in a town she was unfamiliar with. How daft can she be?" Bella shouted the words she had been holding in since Edward first detailed what would take place tonight.
Headlights suddenly flew around the corner, signaling Mike's white knight grand entrance. Deciding against moving onto the car's warpath in the street, she hummed while waiting for Mike to come to a stop. He was supposed to skid or fishtail or something. Like it was impressive. Bella hmphed as he did so. The passenger door was open on the opposite side of where she stood. She snickered.
"Get in," he commanded to no-one in a furious voice.
"If I must," she relented, dragging her feet to the open door. She noted she didn't like the tone he was taking with her, but she could reason she understood why. Those lowlife criminals were throwing him in a tizzy.
Once in the car, Bella noticed it was dark with no lights in the interior. She could barely see his face thanks to the glow from the dashboard. She smiled, amazed how her fear around him vanished when she could not view his face. It was almost like she could pretend it was Edward saving her. This was good. Her thinking about Edward helped put at bay her anxiety from earlier.
Mike made a spectacle of his driving. Tires squealing, whipping the car around too fast, accelerating like he had a lead foot, swerving toward the stunned rift raft in the street, and all Bella could do was watch the vampire's ire unfold.
"Put on your seat belt." He commanded her for a second time upon his arrival. She did not take keenly to his authoritative position. Despite knowing no harm would come to her when he was driving, she clicked in the seat belt because a little part of her sang never say never. Keeping her safety in mind for self-preservation. Then again…wasn't she restraining herself and adding time to an unexpected escape if Mike went rogue on his role. What if he decided Bella was right and Edward was wrong? It is a horror story playing out. Her fingers fiddle with the belt strap around her lap. She had to choose to be rational and not let her independent thoughts play with her. It was a story being told A to Z. She had no evidence so far to contradict that. In fact, she was trying to prove the contrary this evening. Change Mike's role. Change the story. Change her fate. She suffered this mini crisis as Mike blew through several stop signs. It was almost comical. Edward had explained with Mike's selective mind reading he was like a built-in police radar. By selective mind reading, Edward suggested Mike can only read the minds that are dictated in the text of the book. Otherwise, Mike would be on to his and Bella's plan.
"Can we change our fate?" Bella asked naively, wondering if Mike could even hear her.
"No," he replied curtly. He was livid, but she knew the curt response was not a real answer to her question. He was telling her he was not okay. A small piece of Bella felt for Mike in that moment. He was not in control of what he did or said, yet she treated him so unkindly in her mind. It was exasperated due to her feelings for Edward. Bella remained silent, pondering on this until the car came to a sudden stop. They weren't in town anymore.
"Bella?" he asked, his voice tight, controlled.
Bella chose not to respond and waited.
"Are you alright?"
"No, Mike. Not at all. Do you not understand the world we are living in? It is all a wretched lie," she spat. Bella was toeing around a line, not wanting to share too much incase he did understand. She would drop one bomb at a time, nevertheless they were still bombs imploding the world he thought he knew. She soldiered on for the first explosion. "You must know this, right? No control over your actions and words, but freedom in your thoughts? Sound familiar?" Her pleas were desperate. "Blink if you can hear me!" She ordered, watching his face like a hawk. But all she observed was the fury plain on his face. No blinks. Not even one to pretend he was human. Her head dipped toward her chest in defeat. She only lost the first battle though. She never really believed it would work. Her conversation with Jake told her that much when she adlibbed with the dialogue between them. But…she had hoped this time was different. An exception. If Mike was supposed to be her love interest, wouldn't that give him more ground to break free from his role like Edward had?
"Distract me, please."
"Oh no, this is so offensive what you are about to say," she groaned into the hands covering her face.
"Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down." Bella watched him close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.
"How on earth do you make me so besotted when you order me around and say things like this? Why did I fall for you?" She asked, truly flabbergasted. It was so different experiencing it versus Edward telling her about it. She was incredulous when she first listened to Edward describe this scene. It bothered her that she was supposed to be so submissive to Mike's whims, like saving her allowed him a free pass for how he treated her. Which at times felt like a child.
He was still squeezing his eyes closed, but the corner of his mouth twitched.
"Why?"
Bella's heart dropped into her stomach. She closed her eyes now too. It wasn't a sincere why. It wasn't a why to her why. Oh, she had wished it was real though.
But her final attempt to save this world was going to have to wait. She let herself 'prattle' on for Mike, for the sake of speeding up to when they headed to the restaurant.
Mike started the engine after Bella mentioned Jessica and Angela. He drove them through the boardwalk, going too fast. When it came to parking, he parallel parked against the curb on the street like it was nothing.
Bella joined Mike on the sidewalk, ignoring his order to get Angela and Jessica's attention. As expected, they stopped at a certain point while still in her line of sight. Waiting for her to summon them into the story.
"Before that, I need to do something Mike. I am sorry I am doing it without your consent, but you watch me sleep without mine so I think it's a 'fair' trade." Bella paused, her eyes rolling to the side as she reassessed this. "Well, no. It's actually not. What you are doing is a shit ton creepier. Stop it. Maybe you will after this." Bella stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Mike. The embrace was one sided. After giving it a few seconds, she sighed before releasing him. She scanned his bright blue eyes, looking for some flicker of acknowledgement. But Mike never offered any tells…not like she had discovered with Edward.
She pushed on her tiptoes, leaning her head up toward Mike's face. She wasn't tall enough still, so she had to force his head to meet her halfway. She guided his boyish face to meet her puckered lips. Here goes nothing, she told herself before planting a kiss on his cheek. She let it linger for a few seconds, anticipating him to pull away in shock, similar to Edward's initial reaction.
When he did not…Bella dropped back to her feet and took a few steps back.
"Mike?" She asked, unsure of herself. She waved her hand frantically in front of her face. "Please. You are here with us, right? You're the male lead! Take charge of this!"
Mike stared at her, blank faced and eyes still glowing. For a heartbeat, she swore she witnessed a twinkle of mirth reflected in his eyes by the streetlight. But when she rubbed her eyes, she knew the light was just playing a trick on her. His blue eyes were vacant. Soulless. Was it really just her and Edward here? Like she had suspected but now could confirm?
"No…" she refused to buy that. It would mean there was nothing they could change in this world. "No!" she screamed before bolting off. She ran past Jessica and Angela, ignoring Jessica's question of "Where have you been?" calling after her. She broke left on instinct when faced with the upcoming intersection. All the way down the street and at the next stop light, she stopped.
Not by choice.
Bella was met with resistance by the scene in front of her. Her eyes widened, realizing she was caged in this world. She saw the sidewalk across the street. Buildings. Signs. Light. No life though. No one walking the empty streets or sidewalks.
Bella began to pound at the solid surface showing a false setting before scratching blindly. She had reached the end. Hell was not infinite. It was finite. She found its border and decided to make an exit.
After much expended energy yielding no results, Bella realized she could not force her way through. She shook her head and balled her fists at her side. She was so close. So close. And this world mocked her for it.
To respond in kind, she rushed to the light post at the corner. She repeatedly jabbed the tiny, round black button that had the word 'cross' above it. The fake walking sign across the way dinged with a flashing sign 'WALK'. Bella tilted her head, wondering if that was the first time it actually went off in the minutes she had spent here.
"Whatever," she muttered before asserting her hand forward to prove nothing had changed. Her body went rigid as she watched her right hand disappear beyond the fake scenery. She wiggled fingers to confirm they were still attached. But they weren't here. The sign across the street began to blink bright red dots and beep heavily. Her window of opportunity was closing. She saw the numbers flash: 3, 2, 1. She snapped her hand back before the light switched to "STOP". The solid feeling returned to the space in front of her.
"Holy crow!" She exclaimed joyously. She skipped back to Jessica and Angela, freedom bells ringing in her ears. The rest of the evening went as the story imposed, but Bella didn't mind at all. She ravenously chowed down on her mushroom ravioli and sucked down the coke at the restaurant. She placated Mike with the right words, her lines, as a farewell gift. The drive back to Forks could not occur fast enough. She was annoyed when Mike had obliged her request to slow down, opposite of what she wanted. She wanted him to speed so fast it broke the sound barrier. She wanted it to be tomorrow. Her mind was clear now that leaving was an option on the table. She was busting out of here. With Edward or not. She had already made up her mind. But she knew without a shadow of a doubt he was going with her. He yearned for this and pushed her to find a way. And she did.
So much for considering Port Angeles being a trip to hell. It was actually the unexpected oasis found in a desert.
Note:
I can't explain why, but I dreaded writing this. Especially when I have the next three chapters mapped out. I am unsure why. But I somehow figured it out, and it is what it is. The next two updates I am joyfully writing. The second update after this posting will be the long-awaited Edward's POV.
If you are wondering why she thought 'With Edward or not' for her escape, this will be explained in the next update and why she would even consider he would not go with her.
Have any of you read 'Chasing the Sun'? An EdwardxJessica pairing. When writing the car scene when Mike shows up, it made me rethink on that Twilight scene and fondly recalling that my favorite retelling of that scene is in that story, Chasing the Sun.