Amalthea727- Um, no. I AM DENYING IT! It was just a figment of my imagination. I just always thought- even before I first read the book in year 5, that a royal bathroom would look like that. Fenrir is a real name, but to me it seems evil and stuff and I don't like Mr Fancy Pants Fairy Boy. I'm not talking about Jareth's fancy pants. I like his fancy pants (wink, wink)

Mord-Sith Rahl- One word- WTF? Cat? Oh, well. I had a great time at Jacqui's. She drew me as a character from The Corpse Bride. It isn't even supposed to be out on DVD yet in Australia (twiddles thumbs innocently) but our friend Ben's parents went to Bali (I KNOW! I AM SOOO GLAD THEY DIDN'T YET BLOWN UP!) and brought it back. I like my picture. She also drew me as a bunny from Wallace and Grommet- the curse of the Were-Rabbit. I think I look nice as 'Emzee Bunny'. That's what she named me.

SmeagulTheWeasul- I thought you'd like that- either like, or hate it. I just thought, we'll tlotr is such a big story, why couldn't it be possible that Tolkien had some help, eh?

Obsessor-of-inuyasha- I'm afraid to tell you this- but I have never seen/read/listened to tpoto. Please don't hurt me.

Bobmcbobbob1­- I want to get this story over with- it's such a drain. But there is much more to go- Jareth has to get REALLY angry first, then he'll do something bad, then Sarah will find out, then he'll … WAIT! I WILL RELEASE NO MORE OF THE PLOT TO YOU!

Petra15- thanks. You know, if you put more into those reviews, I'd have more to comment on. Thanks

Stardust4981- 'whoot'? what's so good about nz? You know, my cousin plays for the all blacks. I'm not even kidding. But Australia is the BEST place to be. Ramona isn't that bad, love. Just try and keep an open mind.

Chapter 23

Dignitaries part three

Worst Case Scenarios

'What's that supposed to mean?' she snarled. Anger that was almost impossible for one to fathom from one so young and delicate-looking was radiating from the Dryad Princess like a furnace on 'Overheat'.

'It means that you are too childish and insolent to be a credit to your people and kingdom and you have not enough wisdom or even common sense to be an acceptable ruler!' said Fenrir snidely.

'Oh, yeah?' spat Ramona, standing up so fast her chair skidded to a halt one and a half metres behind her.

By this time, Legolas, Jolungus and Sarah had abandoned their good-natured conversation in favour of watching the spectacle taking place at the head of the dinning table.

'Now, Ramona, dear, be reasonable-' Jareth began, attempting to defuse an all out battle from occurring right under his nose.

'Be reasonable he says!' repeated Ramona. 'Jareth, you think just like Mr Graceful Fairy King over there, don't you? You think that I'm too young to be on the High Council! You think I'm too much of a ditz to do anything productive!'

Fenrir sniggered. 'I can think of one thing you can do that's productive…'

Ramona glared. 'In your dreams, pooncey boy.'

Sarah stared. Why, the cheek of that- that- that king! This is soo obviously a touchy subject- so why is the Fairy King making it worse?

'I didn't say that at all, Ramona', protested Jareth loudly, standing up so his and Ramona's heights were more or less equal. 'I don't think that- I've never thought that and I never will. You are more than apt to rule your kingdom, that is what I think.'

Fenrir scoffed. 'You and no-one else.'

Jareth turned furious eyes on the Fairy King.

(A/N Oh, I just LOVE it when he gats angry…)

'What do you say by 'no-one else?' he growled warningly

'It is really quite simple; no-one believes Ramona to be a capable ruler,' said Fenrir silkily.

Jareth glared openly at Fenrir, who stood up. Now all of the warring monarchs were of more-or-less equal height- save that Ramona was about half a head shorter than either of them.

Sarah blinked. Now, this just won't do, she thought grandly. I really must do something before this gets out of hand! It was as if one of the characters from the plays she used to recite had taken over her body and now she was equipped to handle any situation. It's not like something like this has no consequences, either; this could escalate into a civil war! Okay, granted: worst-case scenario…

Decided, Sarah pushed back her own chair and walked over to stand just a little behind Fenrir, successfully pausing the argument as everyone turned and stared at her.

'You know, I would think that you lot would be intelligent enough to take care of this in a more appropriate location, but sometimes, I suppose, curtesies like these slip our minds', said Sarah imperiously. She had no idea where the words came from, but it seemed like a good idea to say them.

Fenrir made as if to say something to this most impertinent mortal, but said mortal held up her hand;

'Oh, no. You've had your say, now I most definitely shall have mine.

'Now, Princess of the Dryads, I would have to say that you must be an exceptional ruler for the High Council to appoint such station and rank to one so young. This said, you shouldn't care what busybodies like the Fairy King have to say.' Sarah poked her thumb in Fenrir's general direction.

'Anyway, I am sure that his highness is supremely sorry for calling you childish et cetera and that he will apologise for it just as soon as his brain re-engages.' Sarah winked at Ramona and before Fenrir could figure out that she had just insulted his intelligence, she had already moved up the table and was standing in front of Jareth.

'Come here', she said, crooking a finger at him.

Jareth, who was by now very scared (but he would never admit to it), though you could hardly tell, obeyed, taking two steps away from the safety of the table.

Jolungus and Legolas leaned over so that they could see.

Sarah looked him over closely, tapping her lip. Then, with speed that would have made a striking snake envious, she reached into a pocket in Jareth's cloak and extracted from it a very large pouch full of coins- actually; it was far too large a pouch to have fit in the pocket. Sarah conceded that there must have been a vanishing charm on the pocket or something along those lines.

Sarah looked at her prize, not glancing at the surprised looks of her fellow breakfasters as she carelessly tossed it in the air and caught it again.

Jareth patted down his cloak. 'How did you know that was there?'

Sarah shrugged. 'Hoggle told me that he heard you jingle and that you don't usually carry around money. So, putting two and two together, I gathered that this', she shook the bag 'is for me. Thankyou, by the way.'

Jareth grumbled. 'Your welcome.'

'Oh, don't be sad I spoiled your surprise. Anyway, I'm thinking of redecorating my chambers. You don't mind, do you?' asked Sarah.

'No.'

'Oh, good. If you did, I would have done it anyway,' said Sarah matter-of-factly. 'So, I was thinking', Sarah put her hand- the one that wasn't holding what seemed to be a small fortune- out in front of her, as though she was imagining her bedroom, 'black. Black and… pink. Hmm, what do you think?' She looked inquiringly at Jareth.

Jareth looked at her like he thought she was crazy.

Sarah frowned at his reaction 'Well, it isn't as though it's your concern anymore.' She picked up a piece of toast from her plate and put the pouch of money in the crook of one arm. 'What do you think, Hoggle?' she called loudly.

'Wha- but- 'Ow'd you now I was 'ere?' came the surprised reply from behind the door.

Sarah opened the door and leant against it with her eyebrows raised as she surveyed a very shocked Hoggle. 'You are distrustful, you hate Jareth and you were hoping I'd save you a piece of toast,' explained Sarah and she handed him the bit of toast she was holding.

Hoggle looked at the toast and cocked his head. 'Ye' can't argue with that…'

Sarah smiled. 'C'mon, Hoggle,' she flicked her wrist and the pouch of coins rolled into her hand and she tossed them into the air again, 'I have', she caught the flying money bag, 'a bag full of coins just aching to be spent!' She waved to the people still at the table. 'Ta-ta!'

Sarah walked briskly down the hall with Hoggle in tow, munching on his toast.

The monarchs just looked at each other. Ramona and Fenrir sat down, but Jareth was too stunned to do anything but stare at a nearby wall. He would never have thought that Sarah would do anything like that. He was also very worried about what she was going to do to her cambers.

Legolas heaved a great sigh. 'She'd make a hell of a queen.'

That brought Jareth out of his musings.

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