Chapter 8

"Rodney, you could have been a little more… discrete back there." Elizabeth said, her voice taking on that warning tone. Rodney sighed.

"Heightmeyer said we should have fun." He said, knowing as soon as the words had left his—her—mouth that it had been the wrong thing to say.

"With my body, Rodney. I noticed that you failed to mention that it was you controlling me and not me."

Rodney paused, trying to think of some response. He frowned… or rather, it was Elizabeth's brow that wrinkled with thought, but it was him doing the thinking… yes, this was still very weird.

"Need I remind you, Elizabeth, that this was your idea in the first place? I was against it. Remember?"

"Which is why I am surprised in you, Rodney." Elizabeth responded immediately and Rodney winced. Once again, the wrong thing. "Since you were so uncomfortable with this whole idea in the first place, I would have thought you would have handled the situation with a little more tact. Remember, they thought it was Elizabeth Weir sitting with them and not Rodney McKay. So tell me, Rodney, how you think that will make me look?"

"Uh…"

"Exactly." Elizabeth said, her response clipped and short. Rodney sighed. Great, he had pissed her off. He was getting good at that lately, and that was the last thing he wanted to be doing. He didn't want her to hate him. She was right—he should have handled things better.

Rodney paused, then smiled slightly.

"Okay, but you have to admit, that was sort of funny seeing the looks on their faces."

There was a long pause, but then, "maybe a little."

"See? I told you!"

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said warningly. Rodney sighed.

"I'll explain it to them the next time I see them." he mumbled.

"How about I do the explaining?" Elizabeth said and Rodney knew it wasn't because she didn't trust him. It was because she wanted to take the ordeal off his shoulders, wanted to bear the burden for him. He could hear her thoughts even if she wasn't thinking them and he knew that was why she had suggested it. He sighed, his—her—shoulders slumping slightly with the knowledge that, once again, Elizabeth was helping him when he should have been the one helping her.

"Fine." He said shortly. "The next time you see them, you can explain it."

"Why not now, Rodney?"

"Because." Rodney told her lamely, hoping she wouldn't notice where he was headed.

"Rodney… where are we going?"

Damn.

"No where you haven't been before." He told her, picking up the pace.

"Rodney!" Elizabeth scolded inside his head. "You're going to the lab!"

"Oh, come on, Elizabeth! Zelenka and the others need my help. They won't be able to figure this out unless I'm there to—"

"Rodney, I'm sure they can manage just fine without you."

"Just give me a couple of hours, Elizabeth." Rodney all but begged her. "Let me see what they're doing. If it honestly looks like I can't be of any help, then I'll leave."

"Promise?" Elizabeth asked slowly, her voice making it clear that she didn't completely believe him.

"Promise." Rodney nodded. He shrugged. "Of course, the chances of them not needing my help are almost imposs—"

"Rodney!"

"Yes, yes. I promise." Rodney shouted, throwing his—her—hands in the air. "Sheesh."

Zelenka looked up from his laptop just in time to see Elizabeth Weir stride into the lab he was using to work on the crashed Wraith dart. He immediately leapt to his feet, surprised to see her here.

"Dr. Weir!" he cried in his thick Czech accent. "What, uh, what are you doing here?"

"I came to check up on your work, Radek." She said in a tone that sounded oddly familiar, but one that was certainly not hers. In fact, she sounded very much like a certain snarky scientist. But that was impossible…

"Uh, yes, of course." Zelenka said slowly, fumbling over his words in his confusion. "Um… well, unfortunately we haven't come up with much—"

"Ha!" Elizabeth shouted smugly. She rested her hands on her hips and gave him a condescending look. "I thought as much. Without me the rest of you are practically helpless."

"Ex—excuse me?" Zelenka blinked in surprise. But the woman wasn't listening. She had pushed past him and was looking down at the laptop Zelenka had just been working at. She snapped her fingers and pointed to the Czech, who automatically responded to the very Rodney-esk gesture and came to stand beside her. She motioned to the screen.

"What the hell is this?" she snapped and looked up at him. "Have you been doing any work? This is gibberish!"

"What?" Zelenka asked, dumbfounded. The other scientists in the room were beginning to pay attention to the sound of their calm leader's voice snapping at the current head of their team. Whatever work had been going on was suddenly coming to a standstill and Zelenka, looking around to see if anyone knew what the hell was going on, saw only blank looks—a look that he was certain he shared.

Elizabeth opened her mouth to respond, paused and then frowned.

"Because it is!" she shouted to something no one had said. Zelenka looked at her in surprise and the other scientists were now completely and thoroughly confused. Elizabeth paused again and then motioned dramatically at the screen. "Look at it, Elizabeth! It's useless! I told you they wouldn't be able to get any work done without me. Now, if you just give me a few hours—"

"Dr. Weir?" Zelenka asked slowly, his head spinning with the image of Elizabeth Weir not only yelling at him, but apparently arguing with herself…

"No, you idiot!" Elizabeth snapped, her green eyes glaring at him. "Haven't you been paying attention? It's me."

"Dr. Weir." Zelenka agreed, though he wasn't quite certain Dr. Weir was feeling all that well…

"No!" Elizabeth stamped her foot. "Not Elizabeth. It's me! Rodney." Elizabeth paused and looked slightly sheepish. "Didn't, uh, didn't I mention that earlier?"

Zelenka couldn't respond as his mouth was hanging open in astonishment. Elizabeth—Rodney—glanced around the room and saw similar looks of wide-eyed shock staring back at him.

"Huh." Elizabeth grunted. "Oops."

That was the last straw. It was bad enough that Rodney had, again, failed to mention that it was him in control of her body, but now he was screaming at his staff—all the while in her voice. This wasn't funny anymore. She was not going to allow him to make her look like the bad guy. She generally turned a blind eye to his snappish attitude when it came to his support staff merely because Zelenka had told her once that he really did think it helped with the newer recruits to keep them in check. Plus, no one had complained… much. But this was too much. Ignoring it when she wasn't around was one thing. Ignoring it while she was there was something else entirely.

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said warningly as he continued screaming at Zelenka. "Rodney, calm down. Look at it again, how is this gibberish?"

Rodney, in the middle of preparing another tirade, stopped and motioned at the screen.

"Because it is!" he told her lamely and Elizabeth frowned mentally. He may have had control over her body, but that gave him no right to use it in such a way. Not only was he not accomplishing anything useful, but he was making her look bad. Besides, did he just assume that she could understand what he was looking at?

"Rodney." Elizabeth said shortly, a little firmer this time. "I think this was a bad idea—"

"Look at it, Elizabeth! It's useless!" Rodney shouted, paying no attention to what she was trying to say and ignoring the fact that she could not understand even half of what Zelenka had typed on his laptop. "I told you they wouldn't be able to get any work done without me. Now, if you just give me a few hours—"

"Dr. Weir?" Zelenka's soft, very confused voice cut in.

"Rodney, you know I can't understand—"

"No, you idiot!" Rodney snapped, ignoring her completely, and glaring at the stunned Czech. "Haven't you been paying attention? It's me."

"Dr. Weir." Zelenka agreed slowly, though he was sounding less certain of himself.

"No!" Rodney stamped Elizabeth's foot. "Not Elizabeth. It's me! Rodney."

"You might have told them that sooner!" Elizabeth snapped, thoroughly fed up with McKay at the moment. At least he had the decency to sound suddenly sheepish.

"Didn't, uh, didn't I mention that earlier?"

Rodney took in the stunned looks he was getting and Elizabeth sighed irritably inside his head—or rather, her head.

"No, Rodney." She said wearily. "You didn't."

"Huh." Rodney said, sounding more confused that he had missed the fact than sorry that he had. "Oops."

"Rodney, we're going back to my quarters right now!"

"Not yet, Elizabeth!" Rodney shouted back, turning back to the screen. "I have work to do here—"

"Rodney?" Zelenka asked slowly. Rodney glared up at him.

"Yes, Radek. A little slow today, are we?"

"Rodney—"

"Elizabeth, please." Rodney sighed and began typing away at the computer despite Zelenka's protests. "I'll have this finished in a few hours and then you won't have a thing to worry about."

"Rodney, would you listen to me?"

"Rodney, what do you think you are doing?" Zelenka shouted, finally finding his voice again. "You are not even supposed to be working on this!"

"Who says?" Rodney snapped.

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said warningly.

"I do!" Zelenka snapped back. "Now get out of my lab or—"

"Your lab?" Rodney straightened and glared at the be-speckled man. "When, pray tell, did this become your lab?"

"Rodney, do not—"

"It is mine until you are able to return to work." Zelenka said slowly, his breathing heavy with barely controlled rage. Rodney laughed and spread his—Elizabeth's—arms.

"Well, here I am! So no need to worry about that."

"Rodney, turn around and walk out of this lab immediately." Elizabeth snapped, but once again, she was ignored.

"Dr. McKay," Zelenka stepped up to him so that he was nose to nose with Elizabeth, glaring up at her, for she was just a fraction taller than the small Czech, "I am ordering you to leave my lab until you are able to return to work on your own in your own body. Understand?"

"Or what?" Rodney narrowed Elizabeth's eyes. "You'll have me removed?"

"If I must." Zelenka growled. "I will not have you ruining our work because of your ego."

"My ego? Whose not letting me even show you what you've done wrong—"

"I have done nothing wrong!" Zelenka shouted. "Now get out of my lab or—"

"It's not your lab!" Rodney roared. "It's my lab and you have no right to be calling it—"

"Rodney, will you listen to me?" Elizabeth screamed, missing whatever Zelenka had to say to counteract McKay.

"Shut up, Zelenka! You don't know what you're—"

"You self-centered, egotistical pain in the ass!" Zelenka shouted.

"Idiot Czech!" Rodney snapped back. "What the hell did they teach you in your backwards country anyway? Didn't they ever tell you how not to blow up an entire city? Or maybe if you had actually paid attention we wouldn't be having this discussion!"

"No, because if I had not been paying attention you would still be trapped inside a Wraith dart along with Dr. Weir with no way to get out instead of here, in her body, screaming at me!"

"That was just pure dumb luck on your part!" Rodney screamed. "Anyone could have figured out how to push a button!"

"Rodney, that is enough!" Elizabeth roared and used every ounce of thought she had to gain back control of her body. But Rodney was too enraged—it had been eating her up since he had started his little shouting match with Radek—and wasn't about to give up that easily. Whether or not he realized he was resisting her, he was too focused to give up speech quite yet. But that was just fine. He was so busy yelling that he was weakened his hold over her other bodily functions—such as use of her limbs—and she was going to put a stop to this nonsense before Rodney got her hauled off by the goddamn Marines.

"McKay, if you are not out of my lab in one minute I'll—"

"You'll what, Zelenka? Because this is my—"

Rodney was interrupted by Elizabeth's hand slapping him hard across the face. It didn't matter that she had just hit herself, Rodney had been the one to feel it. His mouth fell open in surprise and Zelenka, his eyes wide, watched him warily.

"Rodney." Elizabeth said slowly and clearly, trying to keep her voice calm. "It's time to give me back my body."

"Yeah." Rodney said absently, rubbing his—her—cheek. "I think so, too."

Elizabeth's eyes closed and when they opened again, it was because she had wanted them to.

The first thing Elizabeth noticed was that, aside from the monotonous beeping of machinery, the lab had gone deathly silent. No one was speaking—no one even seemed to be breathing. They were all staring at Elizabeth with wide eyes, Zelenka included. Some of the scientists looked simply shocked, while others looked frightened. Zelenka seemed to be torn between the two—though he also looked extremely worried.

"R—Rodney?" he asked slowly. Elizabeth took a deep breath to calm herself and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she shook her head.

"No, Radek." She said softly. "It's me."

"Dr. Weir." He breathed, sounding relieved. She nodded slowly, but she was only half paying attention. Her emotions were roiling and she couldn't determine which ones were hers and which ones were Rodney's, but the man was being unnaturally quiet. His silence, especially after being slapped, was unnerving and she was beginning to worry. It was difficult to stay angry when she was more bothered about what she had done to him. She had never hit him before—not to say she hadn't had the urge once in a while, but she never would have thought herself capable of actually striking the man. Despite the fact that it was the only way she could get his attention, she was beginning to fear that she had just crossed a line.

"Dr. Weir?"

Elizabeth realized she had been quiet for quite a few minutes and she looked at the concerned scientist, smiling wearily.

"I'm sorry, Radek. Um… I'm sorry we interrupted you. It won't happen again."

"Do—do you want me to call Dr. Beckett?" Zelenka asked slowly. Elizabeth somehow managed another smile and shook her head.

"That's not necessary. I'm—I'm just going to go back to my quarters. Continue on." She said softly, raising her head and faced the entire silent science staff. "You're doing well."

Without waiting for a reply, Elizabeth turned and walked out of the lab. It wasn't very far to her quarters, but it was still a long walk and it was some time before she reached her door. She was tired beyond recognizing all of the sudden and she wearily flashed her hand across the combination to her room. And as the door slid open, Elizabeth realized that Rodney still hadn't said a word.

"Rodney?" she asked, pausing in her doorway.

Silence.

"Rodney?"

Still nothing. Elizabeth sighed and her shoulders slumped.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. He did not respond. Elizabeth nodded, as if realizing something, and stepped into her room, letting the door close behind her.