Chapter 14

"I thought of it when I was dialing the 'Gate." McKay explained through Elizabeth's voice. Sheppard frowned.

"How did you dial the 'Gate? You don't even have your own hands." He pointed out. Elizabeth/Rodney rolled her eyes.

"Yes, thank you, Colonel. I had quite forgotten that detail. I appreciate you reminding me." Elizabeth said dryly. A moment later, she sighed and her expression softened.

"Sorry, John. Rodney's getting a little ahead of himself." She said quietly. "I was trapped in our subconscious which resembled Atlantis so Rodney had to dial the 'Gate to get us home."

Sheppard nodded.

"Okay…" he said slowly. "What Rodney said made more sense."

Elizabeth's mouth quirked in a purely Elizabeth smile and she crossed her arms.

"He usually does, Colonel." She said, raising an eyebrow. A moment later, her face shifted into a very Rodney-esk scowl.

"Can we stop talking about me like I'm not here?" he demanded through Elizabeth's lips. "I mean, hello, you're looking right at me!"

Elizabeth's face shifted again.

"No, Rodney, they're looking at me." She said, smiling.

"This is making me dizzy." Ronan grunted, standing behind Sheppard with his arms crossed and his usual scowl set upon his face. Teyla, standing beside Sheppard next to Weir's beside, smiled and John nodded his agreement.

"I was just about to say the same thing." He said, a bewildered look on his face. Kate and Laura, standing nearby, looked equally perplexed. Only Carson and Teyla seemed unaffected by the schizophrenic doctor. Teyla only smiled and Carson was simply grinning from ear to ear. The relief of having had both his patients still alive hadn't quiet worn off yet, despite Rodney yelling at him like he was an ignoramus. He knew the man only did it because he had been scared. Carson couldn't really blame him.

Elizabeth smiled—John could tell it was her because her face was much softer than Rodney's when she smiled—and she shook her head, uncrossing her arms and smoothing the sheets covering her legs.

"I expect it is a little… odd. But it was the only way we could assure we both survived. We were afraid that if one of us relinquished complete control, they would vanish."

"And Elizabeth's not going anywhere." Rodney said, Elizabeth scowling and crossing her arms. Not a second later, her face softened again and a distracted smile lit her face.

"Neither are you, Rodney."

An uncomfortable silence settled upon the infirmary as everyone present felt they were witnessing some personal conversation between the two of them. They also felt as if they had missed some part of the story and that certainly didn't help things any.

Carson cleared his throat.

"Aye, Rodney, ye were sayin' about th' 'Gate?" he said. Elizabeth's green eyes snapped and her head whipped around to glare up at him.

"What?" she blinked. "Oh! Right, my brilliant plan. Where is Zelenka, he needs to hear this so I can tell him that he was wrong—"

"Rodney," Elizabeth interrupted, her voice shifting again, "how could he be wrong when you only just figured it out?"

"Hmph." Rodney snorted, crossing Elizabeth's arms. "That's beside the point."

Sheppard grinned and slapped Elizabeth on the shoulder.

"That's our Rodney." He grinned, then quickly pulled his hand away. "Oh. Sorry, Dr. Weir."

Elizabeth laughed softly.

"No need to apologize, John."

"Oh, because hitting me is okay." Rodney grumbled.

"I wasn't hitting you, Rodney." Sheppard pointed out.

"Then why did you apologize to Elizabeth?" Rodney snapped, Elizabeth's jaw jutting out. A moment later Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her forehead with her hand.

"Rodney." She said warningly. Her green eyes flashed and her mouth tightened.

"Hmph." Rodney snorted. "Now, what was I talking about?"

Sheppard's lips quirked.

"Your brilliant plan." He said dryly, crossing his arms. "We have yet to hear it."

"Well, I assure you, Colonel, I have one." Rodney glared up at him. "Now where the hell is Zelenka? He should have been here ten minutes ago."

"Not if no one called him." Laura pointed out and Elizabeth/Rodney started, having forgotten that she and Kate were even there.

"What? Why didn't anyone call him down here? I need to talk to him now." Rodney/Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Forget it. I'll just go down to the lab myself."

Elizabeth started to shove back the sheets and swing her legs out over the side of the bed when Carson grabbed her shoulders and shoved her back into bed.

"Ah, no ye don't, lad." Carson said sternly. "Ye jus' had a seizure a moment ago, or have ye forgotten tha'? I don't need ye runnin' through the halls and collapsin' on top of everythin' else."

"Oh, like I really want to be collapsing in a hospital gown in the middle of Atlantis." Rodney snapped.

"Don't forget, Rodney, that it wouldn't be you collapsing anywhere." Elizabeth pointed out. "Would you really leave me in such a compromising situation?"

Elizabeth's face flushed with heat and Rodney stumbled over his response.

"Er… no. No, that's not what I… um, I don't want… er, why isn't Zelenka here yet?" Rodney demanded, Elizabeth's face flushing a brilliant shade of crimson.

Sheppard grinned, somehow comforted by Rodney's fumbling attempt at a correction of his earlier statement. He tapped his earpiece.

"Zelenka, this is Sheppard."

"Colonel?" Zelenka's voice sounded over the radio, puzzled that it was the flyboy pilot that was interrupting him, of all people. "What can I do for you?"

"Rodney would like to see you in the infirmary." Sheppard said, grinning broadly at Rodney. Elizabeth snapped her fingers at him.

"Tell him to bring my laptop!" he shouted.

"Why is Elizabeth yelling at you?" Zelenka asked. Then he sighed. "Oh. Right. Stupid question. I'll be right down."

"And don't forget my laptop!" Rodney shouted.

"Okay, Zelenka's here. Now tell us your brilliant plan." Sheppard waved his hands into the air to emphasize the word "brilliant".

"Don't sound so condescending, Sheppard." Rodney snapped shortly. "It is brilliant and you know it."

"We all know it." Elizabeth said, sighing heavily. "Now tell us, please. I don't even know."

"You didn't even tell Elizabeth?" Sheppard looked at her in surprise. "How is that even possible? Your in her—"

"John." Elizabeth said shortly. "Please."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

Elizabeth sighed.

"Go ahead, Rodney." She said.

"Thank you." Rodney said. A moment later her green eyes lit up and she sat a little straighter in bed. Her hands took on Rodney's motions, flashing through the air and pointing to emphasize a point that so far only he could understand. "What's the one thing that has kept us from rematerializing my body?"

"Power." Sheppard said.

"A functioning memory buffer." Zelenka said. Rodney grinned and pointed.

"No." he said excitedly.

"Can't you just tell us, Rodney?" Laura asked in exasperation. Rodney glared at her.

"I'm making a point."

"Make it faster." Ronan growled. Elizabeth frowned at him.

"Easy there, Conan." He snapped irritably. Elizabeth smiled. Rodney never liked being interrupted, especially by the man that made him rather uneasy. Elizabeth's brow wrinkled. "He doesn't make me uneasy."

Eyebrows raised in surprise as Elizabeth grinned and turned bright red at the same time.

"He can still hear your thoughts, huh?" Sheppard asked, grinning from ear to ear. Behind him, Ronan bared his teeth in a wide grin.

"How perceptive of you, Colonel." Rodney snapped. "And, thank you very much, I have completely lost my train of thought."

"Oh, way to go, Elizabeth." Sheppard said in mock exasperation, throwing his arms into the air. "Now we'll be here for hours."

"Ha, ha." Rodney grumbled. "Very funny."

"Continue, Rodney." Teyla said, a little more sharply than she may have intended. Sheppard raised and eyebrow at her and she smiled innocently back at him. Apparently even the calm-toned Athosian was loosing patience with her teammate.

"Hmph." Rodney grumbled, clearly upset that his brilliant plan had gone to waste on such impatience.

"It's okay, Rodney." Elizabeth thought silently, knowing that he would hear her even though no one else would. "They're just excited. Now what is your brilliant plan?"

Rodney shivered when he heard her say—think—"brilliant". He had never heard her use that tone with him and he liked it. It made him feel warm, excited. Very excited. Suddenly he was very happy he was in a woman's body.

"Rodney." Elizabeth giggled silently inside her head. He felt her face flush when he realized she could feel his emotions. "How sweet."

Yeah. Sweet.

Rodney coughed out loud and he noticed Sheppard's raised eyebrows. He could feel Elizabeth's face burning with his blush and he knew Sheppard was probably wondering what the hell they were discussing so quietly amongst themselves.

"Look," Rodney spoke quickly to cover his embarrassment, "I think we can use the control crystal in the DHD to rematerialize my body from the Wraith memory buffer."

He got only silence. Rodney was mildly relieved when his embarrassment instantly transformed into annoyance. He made an exaggerated motion of rolling Elizabeth's eyes.

"The Stargate is meant to store living tissue as information in its memory so that it rematerializes instantly on the other side. I think it's the same thing for the Wraith darts. So…" Rodney frowned. "Hmph. I guess you were both right. The Stargate's DHD should give us enough power to wake up the buffer and finish the rematerilization of my body."

He glared up at Zelenka and the Czech glared back.

"Do not try to blame this on me again." Zelenka snapped shortly. "Did I not say that if it had not been for me—"

"Gentlemen." Elizabeth said shortly. "Let's not start this again. Rodney, are you sure this will work."

"I have no doubt." Rodney said confidently, crossing Elizabeth's arms. "But you're going to need me to get it to work. Nobody knows the DHD better than I do."

Elizabeth's lips quirked.

"Eager to get down and dirty again, Rodney?" Elizabeth asked lightly.

"Actually, I'm getting you down and dirty." Rodney pointed out calmly. A moment later Elizabeth's eyes flew wide as Rodney suddenly realized what he had just said. "Oh, God, that's not what I—um. I meant that because, uh, well, you know since I'm—dammit, Sheppard, would you stop laughing?"

Sheppard was doubled over beside the hospital bed, tears streaming down his face as he roared with laughter. Behind him, Ronan was grinning broadly—as close to laughter as he would ever get—and Teyla was looking as bland as ever. Well, at least Rodney could be grateful that at least one alien didn't understand the phrasing. Unfortunately, Laura and Kate were also laughing—though they were being a little more discrete about it—while Carson and Radek merely rolled their eyes and sighed.

Sheppard grabbed the side of Rodney's bed and grinned at him, his face red from breathless laughter.

"No promises." He snorted. Rodney glared at him through Elizabeth's green eyes.

"I hate you sometimes." He growled through Elizabeth's clenched teeth. John grinned and choked back his laughter.

"I know." He grinned, his face almost as red as Elizabeth's. "But I'm okay with that. Just no getting down and dirty."

Laura snorted loudly and Rodney glared daggers at the Colonel.

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You." He hissed through Elizabeth's lips. Suddenly the glare cleared from Rodney's face and Elizabeth grinned broadly.

"Oh, Rodney, it's okay. I enjoy it when you get me down and dirty."

Just as she knew it would, her remark stopped all the laughter in the infirmary. John's eyes were so wide she thought for certain they would pop out of his head, Ronan's smile had disappeared and Carson and Zelenka were blushing from collar to hairline. Teyla, Laura and Kate, though, were grinning at Elizabeth with a knowing smile.

"Elizabeth." Rodney said slowly and quietly and blushing from her collar to the hairline. "I don't think that helped."

"Maybe… we should try to fix the dart, yes?" Zelenka asked slowly, his blush still tinting his face. Rodney/Elizabeth cleared her throat.

"Um. Yes. Yes, very good idea." Rodney nodded and started to push himself out of the bed. A moment later he blushed again and he looked at the people surrounding him. "Can someone get me some pants?"

Rodney stood in Elizabeth's body, scowling at the piece of downed wreckage that was the Wraith dart. Elizabeth was dressed in her gown and wrapped in a plain robe, Rodney having stumbled over his explanation that he didn't have time for pants but needed to get to the lab as soon as possible.

Sheppard had been laughing most of the way.

The other scientists working on the dart continued to throw her uncertain looks, as if they were confused as to why the leader of their city was standing in their lab wearing nothing but a hospital gown and robe. Apparently not everyone had been informed of Rodney and Elizabeth's situation, even after so many days. Rodney, though, continued to ignore them as he worked beside Zelenka in order to hook the DHD control crystal up to the Wraith dart, muttering under his breath the entire time. Every now and then Elizabeth would interrupt—usually to keep Rodney from biting someone's head off—but for the most part she kept quiet. At least she kept quiet from what the others could hear. Rodney, though, could still hear her thoughts and for the most part that was all that was keeping him sane as he tried hooking the fragile crystal up to the Wraith technology.

Finally, though, after hours of trial and error.

"Ah, ha!" Zelenka cried in triumph as he presented Rodney with a pair of very live and very whole mice. Rodney nodded wearily.

"Good." He said, sounding tired. "Let's get this over with."

Carson, who had been present to keep an eye on Elizabeth/Rodney, frowned at the scientist.

"Don' ye wan' t' test it a second time, Rodney? T' be certain it's safe?" he asked uncertainly.

Rodney glared at the doctor, but it was Elizabeth who answered him.

"I don't think we have time for that, Carson." She said softly. "Even sharing control, it's still difficult to concentrate. I know Rodney's been feeling it, too. A weakness. It feels like I've been up for days without sleep…"

Rodney grunted. He knew the feeling.

Carson frowned.

"Why didn't ye tell someone?" he demanded. Elizabeth smiled sheepishly.

"I did." She said and her soft features transformed into Rodney's nearly permanent scowl.

"She told me." He said irritably. Carson sighed.

"We had better hurry, then." Zelenka said, studying Elizabeth worriedly. "If we do not have much time…"

"Yes, yes." Rodney waved Elizabeth's hand. "Did I not just say that?"

"Rodney…" Elizabeth said soothingly. Rodney nodded.

"Zelenka, get it ready." He said. As Zelenka began fiddling with the dart to power it up, Rodney sighed and stepped in its line of fire. Elizabeth closed her eyes as they listened to the machine powering up.

"Ready?" Zelenka asked. Elizabeth nodded.

"Wait!" Rodney cried suddenly, Elizabeth's eyes flying open. "Not yet."

"Rodney—" Elizabeth frowned.

"Elizabeth," Rodney began quietly, trying to ignore the many people filling the room, "before we fix this… I wanted to share something. With you."

Elizabeth frowned.

"What…?"

Rodney sighed and closed Elizabeth's eyes. Suddenly she was flooded with a wave of warmth, like being wrapped in a warm towel after a cold shower. It filled her and gave her the sensation of flying and floating, buoyed by an emotion so deep and powerful she could feel her hair standing on end.

A moment later it was gone and Elizabeth felt tears filling her eyes. She sighed a shuddering breath and smiled.

"Rodney…" she breathed.

"That's how I felt." Rodney said quietly, Elizabeth's voice barely a whisper. "On the balcony. When I was holding you in the rain. That's why I go there."

Elizabeth smiled and Rodney nodded to Zelenka.

"Turn it on."

Inside her head, Elizabeth felt Rodney's mind brush hers, as if he were reaching for her hand. She smiled and reached back before everything disappeared in a brilliant flash of white light.

The light disappeared and Sheppard blinked in surprise. Where there had been only Weir in a robe, now there was Rodney, too, still in his off-world gear, looking extremely pissed off.

"Rodney?" Carson asked slowly. "Elizabeth?"

Rodney blinked, his expression becoming more subdued, and he slowly turned to look at Elizabeth. She smiled back at him before their eyes rolled back into their heads and they fell unconscious on the floor.