"Remember, I have done thee worthy service; Told thee no lies, made no mistakings, serv'd without grudge or grumblings: thou didst promise to bate me a full year."
----Ariel, Act I, Scene II, The Tempest
THE TEMPEST
--- Revenge of the Mountain Troll ---
It took David the better part of an hour to sweep the mess up, mop the floor, and then piece the kitchen chair back together again. Meanwhile, Cordelia was bathing Hermione for her second time in two days. She scrubbed hard to try and get the soggy bits out of her daughter's wild curls while Neenie played with her doll in the water and sang lustily.
All in all, it wasn't exactly what you would call the perfect start to a perfect day.
Cordelia sat a thoroughly washed Neenie at the table in her booster seat next to David. He turned the page in his newspaper and started to tell his wife all about the strange sightings in London of men who wore masks and hooded cloaks. According to the paper, he said, there were a couple of witnesses who would spot these intruders before or after a murder was committed. Most believed they belonged to some weird cult that killed people just for the fun of it.
Cordelia sighed as she went about making poached eggs. "You know," she told David, "people today will believe the oddest things just for a laugh. They take these 'strange men in cloaks' and concoct the woolliest story just because they're different. So what if they follow murderers? Perhaps they're spies trying to catch the real culprit…that's no reason to blame them for not acting like normal people."
David looked at her. "You think these men are innocent, then?"
Neenie giggled as she ate the cereal bits in her bowl. Using her spoon, she managed to flick more at her Daddy than in her mouth. Cordelia crossed over to show her how to use her spoon correctly.
"No, I'm just saying that I think people judge too quickly. They shouldn't be making assumptions in the newspaper, should they, if it is most likely false! It just ruins the person's reputation for something they weren't even responsible for," she answered truthfully. "Here's your breakfast, David."
She handed him a plate of perfectly cooked poached eggs, just how he liked it, with a salad on the side and plenty of nicely mixed spices.
Cordelia was the best cook in their family; David had always known that. Her father was the famous chef, Clement Snowe, and it had always been the dream of her mother's for Cordelia to follow along his lines. Thus it was that Cordelia was thrust into every culinary school in London. Finally, though, Cordelia put her foot down and told her mother that she loved to cook, but would rather become a dentist, instead; and that was how the rich Jane Cordelia Snowe ended up in the Bristol School of Dentistry and met her future husband.
David watched his wife walk around the kitchen, making eggs Benedict for herself. She truly was a spectacular woman. He could always remember when he looked at her why he fell in love with her in the first place. She was beautiful, with long, wild golden hair and summer blue eyes on her pretty, pale face. She had a tall, willowy form and carried herself with a kind of grace David saw only a chosen few could match. But that wasn't the reason he fell in love with her…
When he first saw her as they sat down at their first class in Bristol, what astonished him was her knowledge and her wit. She had known every single answer the teacher threw at her, and ones no other person besides the professionals knew. She worked harder and longer than anyone in classes and seemed to be the only one who really loved being there and learning every day. It took David three years to actually catch up with her in studies.
Cordelia took the pan off the fire and whisked the eggs around. It wasn't until she was mixing the green pepper in when she caught her husband staring at her. She was supposed to be making all of the necessary preparations for their boating trip, which would take place that afternoon, but while she was trying to balance breakfast and lunch, David had other plans for her.
He glanced out of the window in high spirits. Outside, there were nice, billowy clouds and the finest breeze a sailor could ask for. Yet…the weather seemed almost too perfect for this nice October day, really----
Oh, no, you don't, mate! You know the consequences of jinxing the weather…don't want the gods to get angry and send a storm down upon us, now!
He fervently kissed his fingers and sent off his well-meaning luck to the unseen deities above.
The sea! He grinned. I love the sea!
He sat up, tucking the last of his breakfast into his belly, and gave his daughter a wide smile, then bent over and kissed Neenie on her wild, curly head. She sat dangling a Cheerio over her mouth, then dropping it and laughing at the fact that it had completely missed her mouth and bounced onto her lap.
That was how David liked her to be.
He started singing a rather blustery tune he had found in a music book once, forgetting all about the strange men in cloaks that had nothing whatsoever to do with his family, thank goodness. Carrying his plate to the sink where Cordelia stood, rinsing off a pan furiously with her hands, he broke off singing to kiss her on the cheek and nuzzle her neck.
She laughed and wriggled away from him, hands full of soapsuds. Of course, he should have known when he came at her again that she would turn the still-running water nozzle at him, soaking him in the chest.
As the water sprayed his vest, David stood still in shock. Hermione had abandoned her game and stared from her mum to her dad, her mouth open. Cordelia, likewise, stared at him with a surprised look on her face, her eyes big, and the water still spraying straight out at him.
Finally, he had the sense to reach over and turn the water off. Turning to his wife, he glared daggers at her, "Yer gonna get it, woman!"
Cordelia couldn't keep it in any longer. She burst into laughter that broke off into a scream and a scramble as David launched himself at her. Shrieking, she turned tail and ran, David after her.
Cordelia tore down the hall, laughing. David was roaring with a big wet stain covering his chest and a glint in his eye. Hermione followed them both with a shrill cry of "Run Mummy! Don't let 'im get you!" until Cordelia barricaded herself in Neenie's room.
David had to swerve to avoid the door shutting in his face. He heard Hermione's socked feet slide out from under her at his abrupt stop. He smiled, an idea forming in his head.
"You may win this time, Delia, darling, but I still have your daughter captive!" David growled in a deep voice. He turned slowly around until he faced his astonished Neenie, who still sat on her bum on the hard floor. Her eyes widened, her mouth fell open, and she managed one long shriek before he pounced on her.
"Mummy!" She squirmed underneath him. "Help me! He's got me! He's tickling me!"
To David's surprise, she wiggled out from his tickling grasp and tore down the hall, shrieking at the top of her lungs, her feet skidding on the slippery floor. David gave her one moment's head start before setting off after her, growling, "Here I come, my little queen. I'm gonna get you on All Hallows' Eve!"
As silently, as quietly as he dared, he stopped right outside the dining room. He could hear little ragged breathing and a small rustle behind the curtains.
"So, we are going to be playing hide-and-seek are we, my pretty? I am the giant king of the mountain trolls! Me very, very good at playing seeker when me yummy snack be hiding! I'm gonna get you…I'm gonna get you!"
Hiding safely (or so she thought) behind the curtains in the window-seat, Neenie's brown eyes got even bigger at his words. She hugged her covered legs as she saw the gigantic, ugly mountain troll look underneath the table and on the chairs pushed under the tabletop.
He looked everywhere around the room, finally giving up when he didn't spot her on the ceiling fan. Neenie gave a small, compressed giggle that she couldn't hold in any longer.
The mountain troll king was just stepping out of the room when he stopped and listened intently.
Oops.
David marched over to the window, yanked the curtains open and showed his face to his prey, baring his teeth and laughing in pleasure.
Then, with one long sweep of his arm, he snatched up the giggling, screaming girl from her perch and slung her over his shoulder.
And then the ferocious king of the mountain trolls carried his food to his dank and dark lair…
…Never to be seen again.
Cordelia heard the entire encounter from her place behind her daughter's bedroom door. As she listened to the mountain troll's retreating giant footsteps, she knew it was safe to come out.
Tiptoeing as softly as her house shoes possibly allowed her to, she walked through the house in search of the troll's dreaded lair.
Then she heard it.
Behind her own bedroom door there were growls and giggles and shrieks and groans. She looked around her for a weapon and found one in a long candlestick. She quietly turned the doorknob and pushed the door open just as a shrill cry emitted from the room.
The wildest scene met her eyes as she gazed in, candlestick held in front of her like a sword. Pillow feathers floated down onto two figures on the bed, one small and one large. The large one was cowering, admitting defeat as Neenie sat on his head and hammered his rear with Cordelia's torn, half-empty pillow. The little girl was giggling madly, apparently ecstatic with her victory…and the antics of her small ginger kitten.
Puck---or Puckle, as he had originally been named---was tearing through the air at the falling feathers, claws out and a mad gleam written in his cat-eyes. Cordelia suddenly knew who the culprit was behind her torn pillow.
She lowered her weapon and smiled. "Well, well, well," she drawled. "It looks as though the ferocious troll has been defeated! By a little girl, no less…he must be getting slower in his old years!" She smiled at her husband impishly. Now was a good time to bait him, while he was pinned underneath his daughter.
She climbed onto the bed and lay down next to him, looking into the brown eyes that were set in a red face from the pressure of some thirty-odd pounds on his head, then continued, "And the hideous mountain troll king's wife knows that he knows it, yet is most unobliged to tell him so…"
Slowly, she crawled right on up until she was three inches from his face.
"…Alas, it has taken its toll on the troll and he has been sedated into staring benignly at his atrocious wife while she kisses him…" She finished in a whisper, then leaned in to kiss her trapped husband.
Neenie stopped badgering them with pillows when she saw that they were kissing. She didn't want to hurt her innocent mother for one thing, and she saw that Mummy had forgiven the troll for being so mean to her. Also, the pillow entrails were now all scattered about them, leaving Neenie with just a dangling pillowcase.
With a last look at her parents who had now deepened the kiss, she climbed off of them and gave a drawn-out sigh of impatience. Her captor ---or captive --- with the wet spot on his vest and the feather-coated body pulled his wife in closer as they embraced, not even breaking apart when the telephone rang in the kitchen.
Hermione perked up. "I get it! I get it!" she said as she lugged her kitten off the bed and stumbled over the forgotten candlestick in her haste to get to the phone first.
When she finally got there she dropped Puck----who was trying to chew the white bits of fluff that were sticking out of his mouth----and dragged a chair to the counter. She climbed onto it and was able to lift the telephone off its hook and push the button on the right like Mummy taught her to do.
She cautiously held it up to her ear, breathing hard from running, and paused.
After a moment, she heard a faint "H-H-Hullo? Is-is anybody there?"
Neenie smiled shyly before drawing out a single word in a soft, breathy voice, "…Hi…"
Far over in Berkshire, along the motorway, lay a small pub called the Barman's Bar. At a payphone in the back, hidden from the pasty owner and the dodgy men who sat at the dusty tables every night, was a tall black-haired man. He was in his mid-thirties, yet looked to be much younger, dressed as he was in stylish Levi's, a silk black shirt that was slightly rumpled, and a leather jacket.
The man smoothed his thick, wavy hair as he held the phone and waited while it rang. He turned around in the small stall and shifted his weight impatiently, letting out a long breath through puffed cheeks.
Though he kept glancing about him, he hardly noticed the slinky women who kept glancing at him admirably from their perch near the bar. He was a ruggedly handsome man, and he knew it. He had gone out with more girls than seven men combined and he certainly was no stranger to bars. Now, however, he was much more preoccupied with his phone call and his broken destination than with where he was at and the occupants therein.
Will Granger had more important things on his mind.
After the seventh ring, he was about to hang up the phone when he finally heard someone pick up. He straightened, his eyes staring intently at the fading wallpaper. All he could hear on the other end were short gasps.
He licked his lips. "H-H-Hullo? Is-is anybody there?"
A quiet voice on the other end, belonging to a little girl answered him. Suddenly, the man broke into a crooked grin and his bright grey-blue eyes twinkled.
"Neenie…" He breathed, "It---it's me, Neenie…it's your Uncle Will."
David lay on the bed, staring at his gorgeous wife after Hermione raced to answer the telephone. Both were lightly coated in feathers and David thought that Cordelia looked just like an angel. Her wild, bushy curls splayed out from underneath her head, making her look as though she had a halo.
She stared right back at him. "So, mountain troll," she said, "I was going to ask you before your little episode in the kitchen, just why were you singing?"
He grinned, "Today's Saturday…we're going boating, for one thing. I haven't been out to sea since spring, what with work and all. You know, we've both been so busy at the office…summer usually is the busiest time, after all, with parents scheduling their kids in before school starts. Then autumn, when everyone's getting their teeth done before the holidays start...
"Now…why is it, Delia, darling," he continued, raising his hand to brush the hair out of her eyes and mouth. "Why is it that the most enjoyable times for fishing and going out to sea are the most busiest times of the year at work?"
Cordelia laughed. David always got this puppy-eyed look about him when he was discouraged or sad. He had it now, his brown eyes casting her a pitiful glance.
"Mmmm…I don't know, David," she answered him. "Perhaps it would help to remind you that you are going today, so there is no point in worrying. It'll be a bit chilly, so wear a jacket, and I will make sure Hermione is bundled up as well. Your father has a new boat-hand to help him now, doesn't he? Because, what with his leg and all, I just don't want him to be doing too much…or make you do too many things for him. You're still not over your cold, I could hear you coughing and clearing your throat when you were chasing us----"
"Cordelia," he interrupted her, "this is my father we're talking about---he's not very likely to be passing any kind of any work to me, is he? Blimey, the man won't even let us help him out even the smallest bit…he lives in a cottage with three otters and the place is a pigsty! If you haven't been there lately, I suggest----"
But he was interrupted, as well, by Hermione calling his name. The next second, she appeared at their door with the phone in her hand, while behind her, they saw the long, trailing cord that was stretching tight around the corners of the walls, winding through the house to David and Cordelia's room all the way from the kitchen.
David struggled to get out of bed and grab the phone from her hand before the cord snapped.
"S'for you, Daddy!" she said excitedly. "Itsa Munkle Will!"
David jerked his head up. "What?"
Neenie smiled, "Says he wants you an' he says he needs you ta hepps him an' he says he's atta bar----"
This time it was Cordelia's turn to sit up.
"What did he say exactly? He said he's at a what?" She exclaimed.
David finally reached Hermione, with feather bits sticking to his wet vest. "I'm finding out! Don't worry…"
He took the phone from his daughter's little hand and looked at it strangely before holding it up to his ear and croaking out, "W-Will?"
Though Cordelia wanted to know why Will was calling, she knew that her husband needed some privacy. Grabbing Hermione's hand, she led her away from the room, ducking underneath the phone cord numerous times to get into the living room.
"Mummy?" Neenie asked as Cordelia got some coloring supplies for her. "Who's Munkle Will? Why's he want Daddy? Why does Daddy need to hepp him? Whassa bar?"
Cordelia laughed nervously.
A thousand questions were going through her head as well, but they were most likely not going to be answered any time soon…
David hadn't seen or heard from his older brother in two years…the last time they had heard, he was at London working with an acting agency. So, why had he suddenly called his brother? Cordelia thought that they had had a falling-out. Where had he been for the last two years? Was he still in London all this time? And what was he doing calling David in a bar? Was he drunk? Is that why he told his brother's two-year-old daughter where he was?
…Well, it's not like Neenie knows what a bar is, thank goodness.
"Honey," Cordelia began as she arranged the supplies around her daughter. She drew Neenie onto her lap and started speaking to her, trusting that her little two-year-old would understand. "Your uncle, Will, is Daddy's older brother. He used to come over all the time and visit Grandfather and us. But a couple of years ago, right after you were born, then Daddy and Uncle Will got into a fight and we haven't seen him since. We don't know why he wants Daddy, or where he is right now, but Daddy will tell us when he's finished talking with him, okay?"
Hermione nodded, looking into her mother's eyes. Somehow, Cordelia could see that her daughter did understand, and it wasn't even ten seconds later when she turned back to her mum.
"Mummy?"
"Yes, Neenie?"
"'F Daddy's on the fellytone, can we still go fissing?" she asked, her brown eyes pleading.
As Cordelia looked into her daughter's eyes, she was strongly reminded of her husband. It astonished her how much Hermione resembled David, really. The shape of her face, her mouth and her nose were Cordelia's, and her hair as well, even though it was a different color. But nevertheless, once you looked into those eyes, you forgot all about Cordelia's part of her features. Hermione had her father's brown eyes, brown hair color, and tanned skin. Cordelia always thought that her daughter had very pleasant tones, thanks to David…she would have hated it if Hermione had been cursed with Cordelia's own pale, French skin.
"Mummy?" Hermione asked again when Cordelia didn't answer.
Cordelia started, realizing how long she had been staring at Neenie. "Oh…yes, of course, darling, we will still go. But we aren't going to be leaving until noon, and that's still four hours away. In a bit, you and I are going shopping for food and some more clothes for you to wear for winter, alright?"
"Mm-hmm." Neenie went back to her coloring and Cordelia left to do the laundry.
It wasn't until a half-hour later that David came out of the room and walked slowly into the kitchen. He heaved a deep sigh as he hung up the phone and turned around to find Cordelia and Hermione staring at him from the living room.
"Well," he said, walking into the living room. He sat down next to his wife and all of her piles of clean clothes, and rested his arm behind her body. "That was Will."
Cordelia stared at him. "Gee, I suspected that much!" she said sarcastically, folding the last of the socks.
"We talked for a little while about things-----" he started.
"A little while?" Cordelia interrupted.
"Well, okay, it was more than a little while. But we cleared a lot of things up. Will's not happy with what he did and he seems to really want things to be square between us. We've come to even ends and…to be truthful, we both feel like real idiots about the whole mess. What are you laughing about?" David looked at Cordelia, who was shaking with convulsed chuckles.
She held a pair of clean, rolled-up socks to her mouth to stop the laughter coming out. "N-nothing!" She choked out. "It's just that you are so logical and he's always been so, well, out there and you two had this complete fallout and for a whole year you weren't talking to each other. Now all of a sudden, he calls out from nowhere, completely out of the blue…and from a bar, no less! All just to make up for what he did to you!"
He stared at her, perplexed, "And…?"
She leaned back into his arms and looked into his adorable eyes. "And it was all because he started going out with a girl named Rebecca, whom you had both grown up with; got drunk and made an ass out of himself and disgraced her in public; punched you on the stage in a concert; tried to feed our ten-month-old daughter some brandy; and, lastly, drove your car into a lighthouse. And all in one night! Forgive me from saying, David, but I just find it remarkable that you two failed to converse for an entire year, when he was abysmally drunk when it happened."
David cast her an apologetic look. "Well, yes, we did laugh about that for a bit on the phone. It seems so stupid now that it's over and done. But, anyway, he called to tell me that he was driving over to see Dad and us as well, when his car broke down near Reading. He needs me to go over and pick him up. And then, I was thinking, he could come boating with us over to Bowman's Isle. Him and me are long due for some time together…and he's been avoiding Dad, too. It would be nice to have it be just us again."
Cordelia listened to her husband reminisce about the old days. The days when Will and David acted like the best brothers, when Will wasn't always arguing with his father and brother…the days when it was just the three of the old bachelors together, spending time in each others' company. Will, of course, with a different girl every time, David with his one-and-only love, Cordelia…and John Granger with his wife Olivia. Those were the days before Will and David's mother had died, of course. The days before David and Cordelia had gotten married and John William Granger had been a successful sea captain of many ships and sailors. The days when Will had a secret crush on Rebecca, his little brother's friend, and tried to get to her by going out with every single girl in London.
Those were the old days.
Cordelia spoke up. "It's settled then. You, Dad, Will, and Hermione will go out and have a marvelous time today----along with Dad's new boathand, Hector----fishing and swimming and soliciting in Bowman's Isle, and will come back just after dinner-time and tell me all about it. You will have plenty of time to joke around and be men, just like before, and I trust that you will keep a weather eye on Neenie. Not that you need to, of course, Will hasn't seen her in a year, he was absolutely taken with her before. And your Dad spends his time and energy spoiling her to no ends! I haven't seen Hector yet, but your father has been friends with him since----"
"Wait, wait, wait! You're going too fast, Delia, dear, what are you saying? That you're not coming with us today? But you don't have to do that---we want you to come." He looked at her in perplexity.
She almost laughed at his expression but then decided against it. Taking his rough hand into hers, she said softly, "David, I honestly think that you, Dad, and Will need this day together much more than I need it. You know that I don't even really like fishing anyway, I'd only be there for Neenie, and that's hardly a reason when you are so capable of watching her. I trust you. She adores you and her grandfather and I am positive that she will catch on pretty quick to Will. Please David? I will make it up to you, I swear! Just let me do this for you."
David looked at his wife, at her soft features and her pleading blue eyes. She was right, they did need this day together. He knew that it would be the best thing to repair his and Will's relationship, and also Will's and Dad's as well. Plus, Will hadn't seen his only niece ever since she was a baby, and the last time he held her wasn't exactly under the best circumstances, as Cordelia was kind enough to remind him.
David smiled. "Alright, I'll let you do this, but we will make it up."
He leaned in to kiss her. She put her arms around him, smiling impishly, knowing she had succeeded. "But, of course, sweetheart," she said before softly launching into a series of well-practiced kisses.
"I love it when we agree," David murmured. "And perhaps tomorrow night I can take you out to dinner. You know, that French restaurant in Bristol that you love so much…"
"And…we can…hand Hermione off…to Grandfather…mmm…of course," Cordelia replied in between kisses. "Heaven knows the man wouldn't care in the slightest…"
David rubbed his hand over his wife's back in circles. "And it will be just the two of us…you in that spectacular black dress…and me in my plain old suit and tie…"
Cordelia laughed, the most delightful sound in David's ears. They leaned back, Neenie's pile of day clothes tumbling off of the couch and onto the floor. A couple of piles that lay on the back of the couch fell onto their heads. They kissed each other, undaunted.
On the floor, Neenie looked back down at her drawing. When she heard that Mum wasn't going boating with them, her eyes had filled up with tears. She had so been looking forward to this day, and now it would just be her and Daddy and Grandfather…he wouldn't even have Iris or Ceres or Juno with him. And Will and Hector would come, as well, but she had never seen them before. Mummy said that Neenie had loved Will when she was a baby, but she couldn't remember him now.
Her drawing was filled with blue, for the water, and a brown blob in the middle that was supposed to be a boat. Black stick figures stood in the boat and in the water, and yellow scribbles showed the sun.
Little Hermione twitched her nose and sucked on her lip. Then a small smile began to form on her face and she picked up some green and colored some land on one side of the picture. Eyes concentrating, she drew a lopsided house and three black figures next to the water.
Neither of her parents knew as they sat on the couch what was going on in that brilliant mind of their daughter's, but she acted smarter and somehow different than other two-year-olds. They didn't know that the upcoming events of the day had something new in store for them, nor could they have understood them even if they did. They were getting ready for their adventure without even knowing just how big it was going to be.
And Hermione, sitting on the floor coloring and humming to herself the tune that Daddy had sung in the kitchen, couldn't know that the these three new figures in her drawing were real people. True, they might not look or dress like normal people and they might not even act like normal people…in fact, they really weren't normal at all. But they were people just the same, even though they carried small sticks and wore hooded cloaks.
And no one could have known that the Grangers would be meeting those very people on that very same night.
Author's Note: Well, I'm back! Happy tidings to you all, and I'm sorry this isa few days late; I only got in yesterday. Yes, things are starting to get interesting (that is, if they weren't for you before), and some questions have been answered. Still confused? I don't blame you. Still want more? Well...the more you review, perhaps the faster it will come!
Ah, yes, and review replies...I'll answer everything as soon as I'm able to on my profile page. Don't give up on me! I'm working as fast as I can, I promise you...
...Of course, vacations are always welcome. AND if you want me to give you a hint on what's coming up for the characters in "Of Mugwumps and Toadstools", just say that you love me in your review, and I'll reveal!
Seriously.