Welcome to Summer Camp of the Wild: six weeks of outdoor fun and friendship in the heart of Hyrule, with Link, Zelda, and the other Champions acting as camp counselors.
Breath of the Wild is basically summer camp, albeit with more combat. You've got archery, hiking, horseback riding, campfire cooking, and fishing. So what could be more perfect than a BOTW-themed camp?
Some of you may recognize this story from an earlier version I did. I'd started this story a while back, and then it stalled when I ran into a bad case of writer's block. And then Age of Calamity came out last year, so I decided to take the whole thing down and do a rewrite.
Chapter One: The Camp Brochure
"Okay, everyone, hang on just a sec!" Zelda reached up to the top of her computer's monitor and adjusted the webcam.
Behind her, Terrako scuttled around the study, making beeping noises and occasionally nudging at something with its claw.
Link came in with two mugs of hot cocoa and sat down in the other chair at the ornate walnut desk.
It was a wet, miserable mid-to-late winter day, the kind of day when no one in their right mind would want to consider going outside. Rain and sleet splattered against the windows of Hyrule Castle, and a strong wind blew through the trees outside.
But the icky winter weather was hardly of consequence, because at the moment, summer was on everyone's minds.
It was time for a video meeting with the senior counselors and staff of Camp of the Wild: the greatest summer camp in all of Hyrule.
On the screen were video windows. Zelda did a quick headcount to see who was there: Mipha was already there, and so were Urbosa and Revali.
"Hello, Zelda, hello, Link," Mipha said.
"Hey, kiddos." Urbosa lifted her coffee cup, the one with "World's Greatest Chieftain" on it.
Revali only hmphed.
"Hey, little guys!" Daruk boomed as his face came into view. "Sorry I'm late, we had another little earthquake - boulders falling everywhere!"
Another window clicked on, revealing Helga: one of Master Kohga's subordinates in the Yiga Clan. "Master Kohga can't make it today, so I'm filling in for him," she said crisply.
Last of all was Impa, looking even more frazzled than usual. "I swear, I'm going to kill my sister," she said. "She and Robbie let another Guardian run loose!"
"Hey, Zelda, where's Rhoam?" Urbosa asked. "He IS the camp director, after all."
"You know Dad, he doesn't do computers or email or any of that kind of stuff," Zelda said.
With that, the meeting got underway.
"We just got the proof of the brochure back from the printers. So if it looks good, we'll get it sent out by the end of the week." Zelda hit the upload button - and right then, the connection fizzled out.
"Terrako, could you give the router a zap?" Link asked.
The little Guardian beeped, whistled, and shot a bolt of blue light at the router on the bookshelf. Instantly, the connection was restored.
"Sorry, everyone," Zelda said. "The connection's been bad today. But Terrako just rebooted the router, so we should be good."
"Good to see that little ovoid contraption is good for something," Revali muttered.
"Unlike some people we know," Link said.
"And just what are you insinuating there, you weakling of a featherless biped?" Revali demanded.
"Hey, come over here and say that to my face!" Link snapped.
As it turned out, "featherless biped" could have applied to almost everyone else on the call, so lots of arguing broke out. Terrako scuttled up onto the desk and beeped angrily; the "ovoid contraption" remark had not gone unnoticed.
"Everyone! Chill!" Urbosa interjected.
"Upload's done!" Zelda said as cheerfully as possible, as Link carefully lifted Terrako down from the desk.
The gorgeous, colorful brochure came up on the screen:
Summer Camp of the Wild!
Six weeks of adventure, friendship, and outdoor fun on the shores of Lake Hylia.
Archery, horseback riding, swimming, exploring ancient ruins, mock sword fights, fishing, paragliding, arts and crafts, campfire sing-alongs, and much more!
These words were interspersed with photos of happy, noisy kids going on hikes, doing cannonballs into the lake, and toasting marshmallows around a campfire.
The rest of the brochure went into great detail about the many fun activities and adventures to be had, the comfortable cabins, the wonderful food, and the memories to last a lifetime.
"Beautiful!" Mipha exclaimed.
"Pretty impressive!" Urbosa agreed.
"Adequate," Revali said.
"That looks great! But shouldn't it have more words like, oh, death-defying, and 'risk of mortal peril,' and stuff?" Daruk asked.
"Come on, Daruk, the goal is to encourage campers to come, not to frighten them out of their wits," Impa said.
"Aw, but being frightened out of your wits is the best part!" Daruk pleaded.
"You're a Goron after my own heart, Daruk," Helga said, scratching her shoulder with the point of a Vicious Sickle.
"Should we mention the nightly milk and cookies, and the baskets of stuffed animals in each cabin?" Mipha asked.
"Oh, really now." Revali huffed. "It's as if you're trying to coddle and spoil the little troublemakers."
"Now, Revali," Zelda said. "Some of these kids are going to be away from home for the first time. We want to make sure they all feel at home."
Discussion turned then to other matters of camp business.
"How many kids are we expecting this year?" Urbosa asked. "Last year we got three hundred or so, and the numbers keep growing."
"The more, the merrier!" Daruk said.
"Do we REALLY want to do Capture the Flag again this year?" Impa asked worriedly. "Last year's game turned into all-out warfare."
"Come on, it didn't take THAT long to rebuild the dining pavilion and the rec hall, right?" Link said.
"Well, hopefully we won't have that problem this year," Zelda said. "But, Mipha, I'd suggest making sure the clinic's got doubles and triples of everything just in case. Oh, and Helga," she added, "Tell Master Kohga that we might not be able to do the 'sickle-tossing while trying not to slip on banana peels' activity."
"Pity. But the Yiga-style escape room is on?"
"Yes, we can still do that. Just make sure there's no spike traps."
The meeting continued in this vein for a few more minutes, and then everyone signed off.
"So," Link asked. "How do you feel about this year? Think it's going to be a good one?"
Zelda took a sip of cocoa. "Well, I can't explain why…but I just think this is going to be our most memorable year yet." She grinned. "Summer can't get here fast enough!"
Terrako beeped in agreement.
xLoZx
Reviews welcome! (But be gentle, please?)