Chapter 17
Cloud had returned. With a solemn expression, he asked, "So, Bernice, care to explain yourself?"
The question, cupped by his somberness, puzzled her.
"What he means," Tifa interjected. "Is what happened between you and Genesis back there? You know, the whole hand over your head, then gasps of pain uh…thingy."
"Oh, that." She had been expecting that question. "Well, I think he tried to control my body by attacking my mind."
"And it didn't work because…" Cloud threw her a skeptical look.
She smiled slyly and said, "He can't control something that isn't where it's supposed to be, now can he?" She paused for effect, and then continued matter-of-factly, "It's a form of meditation that I learnt from my step-parents—both were obsessed with spiritual stuff, like Yoga and such. After a few years of practicing it, I was finally able to temporarily detach my mind from my body, so to speak, at will." Bernice's face took on a far-off expression, as if recalling some long-forgotten memory. "I used to have a 'temper-problem', back when I was a kid. This helped me to stay calm and 'out of trouble'." She sighed, "Anyway, the point is that I was able to deflect his control over me. And since I displaced his spell instead of resisting it, he had no way to find out that he had failed."
"I'm still a little confused about that last part," said Tifa.
Bernice looked thoughtful for a moment, then replied, "Think of it this way: It's like fighting with water. Sometimes, subtle ways are better than an all out resistance. It hurts more if you try to punch water or hit it hard, but if you go about it gently, you'll find that you can achieve the same results minus the pain."
Cloud said, "But I saw your eyes, it was like they'd become stone cold or something."
The gun-blader replied with a chuckle, "I was only trying to imitate Vincent. I hoped that the stoicism would fool Genesis into thinking that he really got to me. Apparently, I'm a good actress."
Vincent gave a terse 'A-hem' in mock annoyance and Bernice flashed him an apologetic smile. Her two other tutors laughed.
Cloud said, "Alright, it's late. Time to turn in, everyone. We are going to have a meeting tomorrow to discuss how we can best deal with our new threat."
With that, they went their separate ways.
Bernice was deep in thought, and was subconsciously letting her body take her to her quarters. She stopped at her doorway. Everyone's safe…for now. She sighed inwardly as she recalled her last two years on Gaia. Her mind then shifted to the values and principles she had learnt as a child, and then to the situation she was facing now.
She struck the door in frustration. Startled by the involuntary manifestation of her own emotions, she looked down the corridor in both directions. Seeing that no one had seen what she had done, she turned and left.
The shooting range was quiet. As always, most of the room was lit by blue-tinted fluorescent. Making it easier to see the targets at the other end, which were illuminated in white light.
She took out her gun-blade and began cleaning it. After that, she fired a few rounds on the nearest target. Then, with her back still turned to the shadows, she said, "Don't you ever get tired of watching me?"
Vincent strode out of the shadows, with his faint smile well-hidden behind his cowl. Once again, his apprentice had managed to surprise him. Twice in one day…I must be losing my touch.
"Ever since that first lesson, you've hardly ever let my out of your line of sight." The young woman commented.
"…well, it's the least I could do." He replied nonchalantly.
She turned to face him. "Why? It is I who is in your debt, Vincent Valentine."
He shook his head slightly. "No. If it weren't for me, none of this would have happened."
"Yeah, none of this would happen if it weren't for you…" She paused, seeing his astonishment. Then, she continued, "…because if it weren't for you, Gaia would have been obliterated and I, I would still be stuck in Jersey, jobless, and probably homeless as well."
"I've put everyone in danger, and I've forced upon you, hardships which you never had to face."
"Hardships?! The last two years were the best years of my life!" She half-shouted. In a quieter tone, added, "Still, it's nice to have someone watching your back. So, thank you."
"…" Vincent pressed a button, bringing the target Bernice had practiced on close to them. Just two bullet holes…made by her twin-barrel gun-blade. He noted silently. "Nice." He remarked aloud.
She shrugged, "I learnt from the best."
Vincent regarded his apprentice. I'm so going to regret this… "…so, what troubles you?"
"Nothing." She lied, poorly.
"Oh, and you'd disobey Cloud for 'nothing'?" He crossed his arms.
Guess they'll be no getting out of this one, Bernice Talwin. She mentally slapped herself. "It's just…" She started while her mentor continued to eye her. "…well, I'm confused."
"About ?"
"…about what I'm doing—killing and all. It kinda goes against moral values, doesn't it? Yet what we're doing is good. And they're a whole score of other things, some we do and some we don't, where the line between good and evil becomes vague. Thinking about it makes me feel frustrated and confused, yet not, at the same time—it drives me nuts. Not thinking about it makes me feel worse." She explained.
"We do what we must to keep ourselves and the ones we care about alive...remember the simulation?" He sighed. "Besides, if you're seeking moral counsel, you're barking up the wrong tree."
She quirked her brow and waited.
God, she is good. I thought I was the only one who could pull 'the silent approach' off. He took in a deep breath, then said, "I used to do this sort of thing for a living."
"What do you mean by 'this sort of thing'?"
He put on a pained expression. "I was a Turk—a spy, an assassin and more."
The young woman crossed her own arms and said, "Then, it appears that I have stumbled upon the right 'tree' after all."
"…"
"This was once a mere 'job' for you. Where what you did was merely your responsibility to your employer and not a matter of life and death."
"But it was. Failure to finish an assignment resulted in one's own termination, and perhaps even the termination of one's entire family." He defended.
"Man, that's harsh." She muttered. She shook it away and said in an exasperated manner, "…born of your own choosing and not out of a life/death or 'end of the world' necessity."
He continued to stare at her, his face betraying no emotions whatsoever. It was his way of saying 'please continue'.
"What I mean is, killing like many things, whether for what one thinks is good or bad, one way or another doesn't change what it is: taking the life of another. Besides, your perception of right and wrong were not marred by the abstract idea of 'the greater good'. So, how did you cope with what you did…in the beginning, at least?"
He sighed and massaged his temple. This was going to be a LONG night. "First you should understand that my perception of values is rather vague. I suppose that comes with growing up in a harsh environment. Anyway, you do know what values really are, right?"
After a few moments of careful thought, she said, "The essence of value: values are norms. Things that which most people have been thinking are good and right since who-knows-when. And through the ages, these principles have fused into our subconscious, so they become a reference of good or bad to whatever choices we make or actions we do."
He nodded in approval. "Couldn't have said it better myself. I don't know if you can understand, but most times, I find myself hovering between 'feeling' and 'not feeling'. I'm frustrated because it makes me feel as if I'm only half-alive. Yet…I can never be fully frustrated because part of me simply 'does not feel'. The conflict goes on day-in, day-out and I don't know what to do about it."
He awaited her reaction. With any luck, she'd either be so confused that she would just drop the whole issue, or she'd realize that he was different somehow and therefore unfit to help her.
Meanwhile, she considered his statement and made a connection. She brightened and said, "That's exactly how I feel!" It felt great to have someone who she could relate to, for she had feared that no one could understand her predicament, even though her mentor didn't seem to know the solution anymore than she did. She even thought herself silly for dwelling on such a seemingly pointless inner-conflict. Still, she had never been able to stop herself from thinking about the things she thought about. Plus, it could benefit them both if they thought and talked about it together. Just then, her heart sank. Vincent isn't exactly the open type. There's no way he would wanna discuss something this sensitive. I might have to figure this out on my own after all.
Looks like luck isn't on my side tonight. He thought miserably. He didn't feel comfortable sharing his inner thoughts and feelings with anyone. Still, he had become her de facto mentor. And if the girl needed help and felt that he was the only one who could offer that guidance, then he was obliged to at least try. After all, the last thing they needed now was for her to turn into another...him. And since the issue had literally laid itself on the table, it was best to get it over with…fast. That confrontation with Genesis may have hurt her more than we had initially realized. No, she would need to be in top form from now on. She must not have any distractions, mental or physical. He sighed and took a seat on the stool beside the table, noting with some amusement, the startled look on her face. If he was going to have to sit through this discussion, he would at least make himself comfortable.
Their 'talk' lasted well into the night, during which they exchanged stories, theories, ideas and the like. It was only after her fifth or sixth hastily-stifled yawn that Vincent suggested that they should call it a night. She had agreed to go to bed only after he promised her that he would offer whatever counsel he could when she needed it and if circumstances permitted it.
As she holstered her gun-blade and made ready to leave, he said, "This doesn't change anything. There would still be many hardships ahead that you'd have to face in the near future."
"I know. But Spirit and I can handle'em." She responded sleepily.
Vincent raised an eyebrow. "…you named that gun-blade?"
"Yeah…" she said amidst a yawn. "…Cloud has the Tsurugi, Yuffie has her Shuriken, you have Cerberus, and so I have Spirit."
The name was, to say the least, common-place and childish…And yet, it was… "Perfect." He uttered.
She smiled and turned to leave.
"Just one more thing. What we talk about is between you and me, understood?"
"Of course." She answered. And with that, she was gone.
Author's note:
Sadly, we have reached the end of the story. I've decided that if I was going to write about the ultimate demise of Deepground and Genesis, it would require more planning as well as more extensive illustration—both of which can be written better if it were a sequel and not the continuation of a seemingly exhausted storyline.
Of course, how fast the sequel comes out and whether it comes out at all would depend on how many reviews I get.(hint, hint) I assure you, no review would be ignored.
To mystory: Thank you sooo much for the compliment! Your review has inspired me to work harder in planning my stories and bettering my writing techniques as well as drive me to write more.
To DragonessWarrior: Thank you for your compliment as well as adding me to your list. I truly am flattered! As for the pairings, well, I'm sad to say that I'm not big on intimacy, so it's a territory I prefer to avoid. Plus, romances, when not written properly can easily degrade a character (and I, being a die-hard fan) would never want that to occur. So, no real pairings. The sibling-like relationship between Denzel and Marlene in chapter 14 and mentor-friend relationship between Vince and Bernice in this chapter are about as close as it gets to any official pairings. For now, at least. But I will definitely consider this when I gain more experience in writing!
To all my readers, thanks for sticking it out with me for so long. I hope you've enjoyed reading this project as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I will check for reviews everyday.
And now, (Clears throat) THE END.
Val.