Chapter Five

Surprise!

Manny Santos was standing in the doorway beaming excitedly to see her best friend. She had a takeaway Starbucks cup in her hands. Since Manny has become somewhat of a star or since her financial situation is particularly high she was pretty well dressed for just going to visit a friend, her hair was down long and wavy. She had probably just come from a shoot or just wrapped up something. Since moving out to the land of milk and honey it seemed to do her good looks wise but she's still looking for that big break to catapult her to higher horizons.

"Of course. Come here." Emma flung her arms around her best friend. They hadn't seen each other in a while so it was definitely a sight for sore eyes, "I had no idea you were coming home."

Manny removed her hound's-tooth coat revealing a modest looking black body hugging sweater-dress and dark wash skinny jeans she politely hung it on the hook by the door, "Thought I'd come by a few days early and surprise my best friend in the world. What's been new?"

"I've just missed you so much." Emma was at a loss for words, she hadn't expected a surprise visit assuming her friend was too busy to fly home for a few weeks before the holidays, "could I make you some tea? I know you like that when you're jet lagged"

"I already grabbed some." Manny confirmed lifting her takeaway cup filled with tea. With her eyes she took silent notice to the man sitting at the couch and looked at Emma mouthing, 'Sean?' Emma quickly dismissed her with her expression with a nod as Manny continued to talk about what has gone on in the world of acting, "Filming just wrapped on the pilot about the drug-addicted, prostitute high school cheerleader. I'm off until January so I get to spend the holidays home."

Emma laughed shaking her head, "Why do you always get those sorts of roles?"

Emma did like hearing about Manny's glamorous life most likely because her life is far from it and if she is close to someone living this dream it's deemed to be good enough for her. It still doesn't change that she misses her, Manny had a full-life here once but she really lives the life she always wanted far away.

"Well you know how first film with Jason Mews and Kevin Smith showed I was into cheer-leading being typecast ever since but hey the money is still good so I'm not exactly complaining. The only thing is I want something consistent. I keep getting these Lifetime TV movies about these sad stories about teens this is like the first network pilot that I've been called back to. I really hope I get it. I guess I can still pass as under twenty."

"I hope you get the role too. It'd be consistent and not one movie."

"I take what I get though, it's this or nothing, whatever it takes. Exposure is good. If I got little girls picking up the latest copy of J-14 because my picture is on it and parents don't think I'm some Lindsay Lohan fodder I'm good in my books. I keep a pristine reputation in my work I take that stuff serious." Manny hesitated before continuing, "its hard work but enough about work, what's Cameron doing back in town?"

Sean heard his name being mentioned and naturally got up from the couch and wandered over to where Emma and Manny are. She raised an eyebrow. Manny knew Sean was always off-limits but it didn't exactly stop her from noticeably ogling the attractive guy she had known for a long time. To her he was highly too good to be true and highly unreliable which she finds most guys their age to be. He politely waved to his old friend, "Come here you," Manny said before she pulled him into a hug looking at Emma with a questioning worrying expression to Emma before Sean pulled away and Manny wiped the expression off her face and traded it for a more innocent unassuming look.

Emma didn't say anything but she knew she was going to hear an earful of Manny when they were alone. Her friend knows she hadn't exactly been physically there for Emma since moving quasi-permanently to LA but that doesn't mean she worries any less. They talk constantly by phone except this last trip she took there she was so busy they hadn't any time to talk. Emma was understanding about her not having the time to talk because she really didn't want to answer to anyone about her choices that she frankly was ashamed of namely Manny because she always thinks she knows what's best because of her success and maybe because she knows a thing or two about guys and dealing with emotional things. At least she was thankful that Manny would be cordial to Sean even though it's against her better judgment to trust him like she does." Come on now, you really don't think I'm not going to ask you guys that question? Giant elephant in the room am I right?" Manny got comfortable sitting on the couch across from Sean, "Why should I even complain about this though a jobs, a jobs, a job and besides shouldn't I be so far in my element anyway? I'm still making more than most of the sorry asses we graduated with that thought they were better than me."

Emma laughed and looked at Sean, "Sean was looking for Spinner while I was closing up at The Dot earlier and we've chatted ever since."

"Chatting, dear?" She questioned Emma seemingly with contempt looking to the couch, "Is that what we're calling it now? It's almost four. Where's Spin been anyway?" Emma felt flustered as Manny called her bluff sometimes it's like they never really missed out on anything because Manny has esp when it comes to her best friend.

Emma shrugged brushing off Manny's clear disbelief and disconnection to Sean. She took back her initial thoughts of how tonight was going to be, with her disapproving and loaded comments and shooting daggers at Sean without his knowledge. She was only hoping that Sean was failing to notice. Ever since the first time Sean left Degrassi for Wasega, Manny has had little to no hope in a relationship between the star-crossed lovers who can't ever seem to catch a break. She'd always find some remark that would get under Emma's skin, "I haven't hard anything but then again why would he contact me no less?"

"Almost four years of catch up that sounds about right." Sean added about Emma and Sean that evening attempting to abolish himself of any wrongdoing Emma thought it was just adorable that he's really not seeing what is really going on. Sean expected Manny to be hostile, she was before that and it looked like her assumptions turned out to be correct.

Emma answered Manny kind of leaving Sean on the hook, "You know what I told you, Manny. We split up, signed the papers and all and I haven't seen him since."

Manny audibly sighed, "When I call his phone it goes straight to voice-mail. I don't know if he even has his phone or where he's living."

"I think he skipped town," Emma offered, "I just don't have a clue where he would go."

"I don't think he'd do that though." Manny disagreed, "You know as well as I do that he's always been a homebody and never intended on leaving town. Should we file a missing person?"

The idea of facing the fact of the very real problem at hand was difficult for Emma to deal with. No one knows where Spinner is, people do care about him even she has been worried in these recent months but the idea of filing a report on him makes the hairs on her neck stand up. What if someone hurt him? Despite them no longer being married to one another it didn't mean she hated him or would wish horrible things on him. Genuinely she just wants him to be okay but the idea of talking about investigations, missing persons forces her to face this all too gruesome reality that maybe he has been in some sort of danger for the past few months that someone ought to investigate.

Emma frantically changes the subject, "Manny are you staying here tonight or for your visit with me or at Jay's?"

Manny shrugged and changed her attention to the new subject which wasn't something even she wanted to talk about. A look of malcontent waved over her she looked at Sean and then to Emma, "About that, Jay told me it's a bit of a full house over his place — so it looks like we'll be roomies again."

"Sorry." Sean interjected the conversation and apologized in advance, bringing up to Manny just what she had wondered since she walked in completely switching gears from the Spinner conversation.

"I hope it's not a problem Emma. You're okay with this right?" Manny made a face at Emma silently questioning her about what exactly is the status of Sean that Sean could not see from where he was standing.

Emma just nodded to Manny without hesitation. "Of course I am."

Emma shook her head and turned her attention to Sean, which was just what Manny wasn't hoping for in the least. The awkward swirling around the room was a bit too much for her to handle. It was one thing for Manny to be hostile toward Sean but for her to be a raging bitch about it tonight was another thing. She decided if she was going to tear into him she was only going to do it while Emma was present, "Excuse me guys, I have to go use the washroom."

She looked back and offered Sean a sympathetic smile before turning her back and turning the corner to the bathroom she left Manny and Sean alone together. When she was sure Emma was no longer in earshot she turned to Sean, "So what are your intentions, Mr. Cameron? You really didn't think I would let this go by unnoticed?"

Sean furrowed his brow, "It's nice to see you too, Manny."

"Nice to see you, Sean." Manny remarked less than enthusiastically sipping her tea.

"You never answered my question." Manny reminded as pushy as ever, "What are your intentions with Emma? Are you going to I don't know make her fall in love with you and then run away? Or-better yet save her life from certain danger and then leave her behind too while she leaves with the trauma - -"

As Emma was finishing up in there, she couldn't help but hear Manny getting a little louder and she quickly realized that Manny was going to tear into Sean regardless. Seconds later Emma emerged from the bathroom and her fears confirmed Manny really laying into Sean about their past which in all honesty none of her business, "MANNY!" Emma shrieked at her friend, "you're so out of line. We were having a really nice night until you- I don't even know what you said."

Manny stood up looking fed up crossing her arms and pursing her lips before speaking, "Tell me, Emma is it fair that I have pick up the pieces? We're adults now come on. I finally am getting you repaired and this is what's going to happen, trust me Emma it's for the best."

"I'm a big girl." Emma felt gutted and embarrassed. She shook her head, she had never felt more embarrassed before about her best friend not having her back, "I can take care of myself and now I want you to apologize to Sean and we drop this? Not tonight."

"Em, it's fine. I'm fine. Hell knows I knew this was coming." Sean shrugged uncomfortably with his hands in his pockets sheepishly. He got off the couch.

Manny ignored Sean and continued on her fueled tirade still spewing her angry venomous words, "Of course you're going to say that because he's here."

"Look, Manny if you're living with me you have to respect my choices and, " Emma looked at Sean and offered him a smile, "I choose to keep regular contact with him."

Manny shook her head, "I don't know. I just –"

"Worry?" Emma asked, "you don't need to. You've got your own stuff to deal with. I just thought we were all past this."

Sean awkwardly staring at his hands, wishing Manny would let it go as he feels guilty enough, he looked at Manny, "You think I wanted to hurt her right?"

Manny said nothing. In all her years of knowing him she never lashed out on him and he never really tore into her, she didn't know him the way Emma knew him or what has her under his spell but for Manny to boldly accuse Sean of being cruel because she could had another thing coming from Sean. She just listened already feeling foolish for even trying to deter them from what they always wanted for themselves, true joy, true happiness, true love. She had once believed in it too but lost sight of it when Sean pulled his disappearing acts and she had to be there when she would be heartbroken.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Sean finished, his voice cracking, "I sort of thought that you'd understand being that you've been hurt before. We're human. We make mistakes, I feel like I make them more than others. Your hurt is nothing compared to mine. If you would've seen the look in her eyes when she drove away from me the first time when I stayed with my parents." Sean paused, "I did it for me, if I would've stayed in town I would've had to deal with Ellie and she was going through her own set of things that were worse than mine. You blamed it all on me leaving why things happened to her. Manny everyone has choices," Sean looked up at Manny dead in the eye, "understand that, when you think about me at that point of my life. Don't blame me who at the time because I was a sixteen-year-old kid who had just saw something terrifying on your whole entire basis of me. I wouldn't dare wish something like that on my worst enemy! It was hard it was so hard and it wasn't easy to get through either. It hurt. That eye contact for that minute kept ringing in my mind, what did it mean? Did it mean what I wanted to mean? Would she be there when I returned? I knew someday I would—"

"You think I don't know hard, Sean? Long distance relationships, have you heard of one? When the one you love is having a drug problem, a really bad drug problem on an expensive drug, on a drug you hear about celebrities doing all the time and the vicious cycle they go through all the while that you knew nothing about while they were gone. Then they come back, and when they come back they played this charade that everything was okay and that you're thinking you've never been closer until you realize you had no idea the monster you've been dating for months while you both were apart. Then you'd have this stupid idea that if you did it with them it'd make things easier."

There was a pause. "And sometimes, what you want isn't what you need and it doesn't work despite everything."

"The very reason I came back tonight was, he and I saw each other at this trendy sushi restaurant and I recognized him from across the room. He and I had dinner he wasn't high. We went out and talked for a few hours and then almost hooked up but I stopped myself. It's why I came home to avoid something like that. The problem is I still love him but I've been with Jay for almost five years and I don't think we ever got closure which makes it really, really hard - you know to say goodbye?"

"Craig?" Emma asked in a whisper.

Sean understood immediately not hearing Emma, "It makes your decision easy though it sticks out to you like a sore thumb either you live happily with someone you love or you're miserable at best with your second best." Manny didn't say anything and Sean relented adding, "but know which one is the right decision. I mean who makes you the happiest? Who knows you more? Who has never hurt you? Who has hurt you carelessly than carefully? When you are able to answer these you're ready to choose."

"Sounds a lot easier than it looks, Sean. Believe me. It's not like I'm even in my relationship because I never see them."

Sean comforted, "Love never is what you call easy. It takes courage to step out and say what's on your mind."

"The only thing I suppose is that I can't fully trust anyone especially Craig. Even though who is to say Jay cheats?"

"He wouldn't dream of it Manny." Emma said shaking her head, "I know he loves you. You guys have been together for a long time."

"What's wrong with me then? How do I not see stuff like this happen?" Manny launched herself back onto the couch, "I just feel like a bad girlfriend, a bad friend, a bad person all the time. It's my nature to nurture people and when people flip the tables on me I have nothing to say."

"You aren't anything of that, it's been a long day." Emma said, "why don't you take my bed, go to sleep and we'll all chat up in the morning or when you wake up."

Manny looked at Emma, smiled coolly and nodded, "I didn't expect you to be awake, I was going to crash on the couch like usual - - I'm sorry I was so cruel. You're right."

She got up off the couch and dragged her carry on luggage back to the back bedroom saying goodnight to both Sean and Emma and she laid down wordlessly on the couch. Sean joined her. He couldn't help but feel awkward about Manny and her sudden entrance, her comments and her departure all in one evening. Emma looked up at Sean whispering, "That was weird even for Manny."

"Maybe all isn't perfect." Sean replied, "We always assume her and Jay have this great, perfect and happy relationship, of course to him it is but maybe not to her."

"They do it's just, Craig likes to re-enter her life at the most annoying times. Right when things are going good or whatever."

"Sounds familiar." Sean commented, looking at her, "Like you and I?"

Emma paused, before shaking her head, "No not like that. I want you around. She didn't want him around."

"Why'd you hesitate?" Sean asked.

"It's just not like that," Emma answered vehemently. It wasn't like Sean ruined her reputation. It wasn't like Sean had another girlfriend and she hooked up with him and then got pregnant and then had to deal with the fall out alone while the guy tried to fight back for his ex that he lost. The only thing she somewhat regrets is letting her feelings for Sean get in the way of an otherwise healthy relationship with Peter but even Peter couldn't compete with Sean who wasn't around when she needed him at that time.

"Not to you but to someone else, possibly? To Manny who seems to actually look out for you? And what about Peter o-or Spinner?"

Emma struggled to answer the question, confused, "What are you talking about?" Where was the Sean who came here earlier speaking an entirely different tune?

"Ca you answer me that, Emma?" Emma shook her head knowing that the relationship with her and Sean was always different and yes it was always complicated but he was the exception to a lot of dating formalities that don't typically happen. It's just she loses all her sense with him and she can't pin point a lot of it. Sean added, "I just don't want to be that guy you're going to blame if in the doesn't work out for you or for us it's not fair to hold me in emotional ransom. I don't want you to blame me if you're hurt because we dove in headfirst. I want to make sure all your issues get sorted out. I love you, but all the love in the world can't fix what you think about things, am I just another distraction until the one or who you perceive is the one?"

"Sean, I think you are the one." Emma answered decidedly one hundred percent there was no more surprises, nobody else and that was the truth. Sean Cameron is was and will always be the man of her dreams, and now she needs to make him know that, "and I know you think that's what I think too or else you wouldn't be here and besides Craig and Manny's relationship was completely 100% different from ours."

"How so? We all met young, we went through a lot of shit then, broke up a bunch of times, got back together in a similar fashion who says we're so different?"

Emma tried to compare them both but it was pretty obvious that Sean had been right in his questions they aren't so different and he already outlined why. She wasn't going down without a fight though because at the end of the day she knows the circumstances of both Craig and Manny are different from the circumstances in which she and Sean got together. "Because I'm not her, you're not him – we didn't have sex when we were fourteen, I never cheated with you on Ellie ring any bells to you?"

"Emma, Manny learned everything she knows about relationships on the tragedy of her first real relationship and she'll never let go of that. She'll date a bunch of guys whether she wants 'em or not to fill the void, to keep her company. Jay simply tolerates it, or is just blind to the issues. I just wanted to know if there was more to us than just that. So stop working yourself up. You're over thinking it."

Emma didn't know what to say, Sean was simply getting answers out of her. He wanted her to be less coy and more candid and she bought it hook line and sinker. She shook her head and closed her eyes exasperated, she reopened her eyes inching toward him pointing her finger at him, and "I hate you."

"No you don't." Sean smiled.

"How? How do you operate me like this? You suck." Emma smirked back, "ugh but I hate it."

"No you don't, and I don't even try that's the thing. This is 2013?"

"I thought that conversation was over." Emma said shaking her head, "the point is I know Craig is a flip flopper he always has been. Unreliable when it comes to relationships. He'll date Ashley for about two or two and a half years, then get a taste for Manny again and drop her a line and ask about for her and then he might go for Ellie but be totally up to kiss her up too and it's not worth it. He's a major player. If Manny got with him again she'd be deluding herself to that girl he wants that high school ditz everyone wants her to be, but I know she's better than that and she deserves better than that but at the same time I know she doesn't love Jay like she loves Craig. Hell I love Jay more than she does and it's not even romantic so I'm using this lightly - it's like family love and I never thought that for me. Her first impression of Jay was god-awful. She used to call him a bottom feeder and then suddenly she's in love! It just doesn't make sense."

"I know you weren't fond of him yourself now look at you." Sean sighed, "but . . . maybe we can both agree that there's the hope that Craig's grown since then. I'm sure we don't want to be judged by our past."

"Dating to feed loneliness, doubtful. That's just how he operates, Cameron."

"I don't trust him. Plus even if I could I haven't seen him in years. Only Manny has and her entire perception of him is skewed just like mine is for you."

"All I know is that we've talked for almost four hours." Sean smiled massaging her arm as she lie on her side facing him, "she's a big girl she can take care of herself. She can't do this to you, you're grown too."

"I just hate dealing with her shit if I don't listen to her. It's just; she takes it personally like I wanted to piss her off. I swear we're equal to sisters."

"She knows you can't fight fate sometimes. Something will come to her maybe not today or tomorrow that will lead her the right way." Sean said yawning facing her lying beside her on the couch that was big enough for them both to share.

"Fate huh?" Emma asked playfully nudging him, "so we're going to be okay right?"

Sean nodded, "Of course, Em."

"If I close my eyes now would you be upset?" Emma asked, half asleep.

"No because I might just myself." Sean answered closing his eyes in the process leaning in a touch closer to kiss her forehead.

Within a moment the pair fell asleep side-by-side not really thinking about how it'd look to Manny when she awakens or how they'll feel tomorrow when they wake up. All that really mattered was that in that moment they were as one and everything they ever wanted was in their hands.