Disclaimer: Do we have to go through this again?
Author's Note: Hey thanks for all the reviews guys! I love you all! I'm sorry if this is a bit short and all. And I'm also sorry for updating a bit later but I've been busy. So many things have come up. Anyway I hope you guys like this. I really do! Read, Review and Enjoy!
14th of March
xxx
THE TRAVEL DIARY
of Ron Weasley and Pansy Parkinson
On their elopement
Compiled and Written by: Hermione Granger, witness
AND Maid of Honor (well…okay…bride's maid then)
AND Ron's best friend, advisor and 'homework diary' since our first year
at Hogwarts, the best-known school of witchcraft and wizardry
--
I hate you, Ron! I absolutely hate you! How could you do this to me? Do you know what Malfoy did when he walked past me? He smirked and said, "Been carjacking any cars, lately?" And do you know, how freaking embarrassing it was for me to murmur a pathetic "Um…no"? I was too caught up to even say, 'Sod off!' ARGH!
Yeah and it is all because of you! All, all, because of you! Why couldn't you have warned me that he was best man! It's what friends usually do you know. I'm not going to write this for you! You can just piss off for all I care.
-------------------------
-------------------------
Oh god, I can't give this to Ron. I really can't. I mean it's not his fault that Pansy brain washed him right? He was so scared of me that when he noticed me among the crowd, he ran off, muttering something about the loo. Not even a "Hi 'Mione, long time no see". Forget that! He didn't even hug me! I'm not that intimidating, am I? But Merlin, am I going to give him a piece of my mind. No way is he getting away with this.
-sigh- I really can't give this to Ron now. I'll just do something else. This travel diary thing was becoming a sort of pain in the arse sort of thing. It wasn't really working anyway.
Maybe I should start this all over as my diary and get Ron and Pansy something else…
….From now on it is the…
THE DIARY OF HERMIONE GRANGER
(Toss the Travel Diary thing)
--
God! I honestly can't believe it was Malfoy I accused of carjacking his own car. I mean how could that have even been a possibility? Malfoy being in a muggle car and all? ARGH! I'm going to kill myself. At least, he's not there now. He too muttered something about leaving us for a few minutes. Except he wanted to visit the gift shop and not the bathroom like Ron. I can bet that the ferret is pretty pissed at Pansy too. Like I am at Ron, who it seems is spending quite a while in the bathroom. I hope he didn't eat something funny or anything.
So, now it's just me and Pansy. While Ron and Draco are elsewhere right at this moment; Pansy and I have to wait, here, in the lobby and call the two of them when we have to leave for the portkey; which for some weird reason is delayed. Some technical problem. I mean honestly! What happened to the good old magic?
She's extremely pretty now, you know. Pansy, I mean. She has the whole 'classic blonde hair and blue eyed model' look going on. Yeah, it's like she's had one of those makeovers or something. It's no joke that Ron has fallen for her. Male Hormones! Falling for the blonde, hot girls, while frizzy brunettes like myself have to sit on the side walk and suffer. It really is quite irritating.
Pansy is making it quite obvious that she doesn't want to talk to me. But I, for some reason need to talk to her. I need to know whether she deserves Ron. Not that I'm planning on doing anything to help him after what he did to me. I mean Malfoy? As best man? Doesn't that deserve some sort of warning?
I wonder whether note passing would be all right with Pansy? If she doesn't want to talk, she might as well write. It's worth a try, right?
x
14th of March
xxx
RON WEASLEY'S PERSONAL ORGANIZER
--
Shit! Shit! SHIT! Hermione looked seriously pissed and I couldn't even face her. I couldn't even face her after what I did to her – you know, not warning her about Malfoy and all. What a coward I am.
God! And here I am all holed up in the men's washroom, hiding from her murderous eyes like WOMAN! ARGH! I need to go. I need to go and tell her I'm sorry. Why am I so scared? It can't be that bad, right? I mean all I didn't tell her was that she was to travel with the biggest jerk of all time! God! I really am a woman– a pansy!
Someone, please kill me!
NO! I have to buck up and face this like a man… Yeah sure; maybe in about a million years…
x
14th of March
xxx
DRACO MALFOY'S PERSONAL ORGANISER
--
I knew I had seen that muggle! And it was Granger! God…Granger sat on the car seat that I sat on later! What would father say to that? It's best to keep it quiet if I don't want him to suffer from a major heart attack any time soon.
But boy, am I pissed at Pansy. I plan on giving her the silent treatment. I was actually planning on walking away. You know…tell her to stuff this whole thing up her arse because there is no way in hell, that I'm doing anything with not only the Weasley bastard but ALSO Mudblood Granger. I was about to tell her to sod off. But then I decided not to. I mean I do have a heart you know. Even though it's all shriveled up and black.
Does smoking do that to the heart? Shrivel and blacken it like it does to the lungs? Because I really am indulging in my smoking habits at the moment – which I've been trying hard to get rid of for the past few years. I've finished three cigarettes so far! I'd be horrified normally but in the present circumstances, I feel I'm justified. And anyway right now, I don't give two hoots whether I die of lung or heart cancer – whichever decides to arrive first. If I do leave the world now, I will celebrate – even if I end up in hell.
God. I have a headache.
Well at least, I have blackmail. I can get Granger to do whatever I want. It's about the only positive aspect of this trip. Actually, I can't wait to abuse my powers over her. Muhahaha…Childish, I know. But old habits, after all, do die hard. And making Granger's life hell happens to be one of those 'old habits'.
x
14th of March
xxx
Meanwhile, the note passing between Hermione Granger and Pansy Parkinson begins…
xxx
Hey Parkinson
I thought we agreed on not talking to each other, Granger!
Well…this really is not talking if you think about it
Do you always take everything so literally?
Hey! I'm just trying to get to know my best friend's…well, my FORMER best friend's fiancé
Is that so? Quite the philanthropist, aren't you Granger? Though I do think, I should question your motives…
Question all you want, Parkinson but I've finally decided not to relate your name to 'fat old cow' anymore if it does ever come up in a conversation.
Fat old cow? Is that what you called me before?
Yes. Before Ron announced that he decided to marry you. Well okay…maybe even after that because all I could think of for a while were small calves with patches of red hair each.
Small calves?
You know…baby cows?
God! I know what a calf is, Granger! I'm just confused about why you would think of calves with…you know…
Well if a cow mated with (ahem) Ron…
Okay I get it now. Not a very pleasing image…
I know. So are okay with me getting to know you?
I suppose it IS inevitable?
Yes, it is
Well…I guess it is okay since we are bound to be in each other's presence from now on… At least for a few weeks
We are, aren't we?
Mmmhmmm
That is going to be weird in the extreme…
Yeah. Meeting a 'know it all' every morning, for the few weeks, is not going to be a picnic, for sure…
…as is meeting a pug-faced…
Bitch?
Um….yeah….
Insulting me, are you, Granger?
Considering the fact that you did so too, I won't pretend that I wasn't trying to
Is our insulting going to be inevitable too?
I would think so. We weren't sorted into opposing houses for nothing you know…
True
…though I was thinking we'd call it a truce just till this is over and after that…well, after that, we can go back to hating each other
What happened to the 'getting to know you so I won't call you a cow' thing?
Honestly speaking, Parkinson, calling you a cow is also going to be inevitable. I can never think of you as anything else – even if you, somehow, ended up being my long lost sister. My deepest apologies…
I thought so… It was all a ploy to get me to talk to you, huh?
Mmmhmm
I knew your intentions weren't all angelic
My intentions aside. So a truce?
Since I want this all to continue smoothly and end happily, I guess I don't have a choice
You don't. Well I'm glad we straightened that out.
Amazingly, I do too. Know it all!
Cow! I just wanted to say that one last time
So I suppose we'll start now?
Yeah, I think that'll be a great idea. Fancy a cup of tea?
Just because we called it a truce, it doesn't mean that we've, by some miracle, become friends or anything, Granger
I was just wondering whether you'd grown a heart after all these years
I'm a Slytherin, Granger. We don't have hearts throughout our lives.
(sigh) I thought so…
x
THE DIARY OF HERMIONE GRANGER
(Toss the Travel Diary thing)
Well. Now the whole Pansy thing is cleared up. In some weird twisted manner, I actually enjoyed our conversation. Note the usage of the word, weird.
Oh! The delay is over! Yay! We've got to call Ron and Malfoy – though preferably I wish Malfoy would stay back. But that, I don't think, will happen anytime soon.
Oh sod it! I can't wait to see Hogwarts!
x
14th of March
xxx
On Harry Potter's answering machine on his wizarding hand phone
--
Hey! Harry here. I'm not here at the moment, so please do leave a message. Sorry for all the trouble! Thank you!
(Beep)
Harry? Ginny here. Sweetheart, please call me once you hear this! It is important!
XX
Thirty minutes later…
Hey! Harry here. I'm not here at the moment, so please do leave a message. Sorry for all the trouble! Thank you!
(Beep)
Harry? Me again. Where are you? Please call me back will you! It really quite important!
XX
An hour later…
Hey! Harry here. I'm not here at the moment, so please do leave a message. Sorry for all the trouble! Thank you!
(Beep)
WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU, POTTER? CAN'T YOU BLOODY ANSWER YOUR WIFE?
x
Author's Note: Did you enjoy it? Please tell me! The next chapter will be a lot longer and interesting! I promise! Again, typos and grammar mistakes were unintended :P!