Is There Still
2
The ground was still disturbed. It had really only been the day before—the sod had obviously only just been laid on top of the dirt. The dirt that covered his coffin. That covered him. To the left of the grave was a space of flattened grass that Danny knew must have been where the chairs had been. There wasn't much flattened. Enough maybe for his parents, Jazz. Sam and Tucker of course. Danny thought that maybe he should have been hurt by the lack of attendance, until he looked to the right and saw more flattened grass.
Enough for a lot of people. And still he didn't care.
There were flowers, all colors heaped around the headstone. He'd only been to one funeral that he could remember, and the headstone hadn't been there that quickly. But he had one. A silvery gray stone with veins of white splitting it every so often. It was nice, he supposed. At least it looked good enough to mark his final resting place.
Daniel Andrew Fenton
July 19 1990 – September 1 2006
Beloved Son
It still didn't seem real, and Danny crouched down to trace a gloved finger along the craved letters of his name, of his birthday. He hesitated before touching the letters and numbers of the day he died, like touching them would make it more real. But he closed his eyes and ran careful fingers along it, wondering how it could have happened.
He had no memory of it. But then, he didn't actually remember much of anything right then. How he'd gotten to school, where he'd been before that. How had he died? Danny closed his eyes on the confusion, rubbing them with his hands and dropping down to the ground and pulling his knees up to his chest to wrap his arms around his legs and bury his face against them.
He was scared. He was more than scared. Was it so bad that even as a full ghost he couldn't remember what happened? Wouldn't remember what happened? Maybe it was supposed to be like this. Maybe it took time to remember. Danny bit his lips against the sudden heat of tears, blinking rapidly as he tried to stop them. it was useless, he realized as the first few seared scaling hot trails down his icy cheeks.
It was no use at all, because he knew that the ghosts he'd always fought knew how they had died, knew exactly when they became a ghost what had happened. It must have been bad. Really bad.
"It was Plasmius."
Danny tensed, but stayed where he was as Sam came up alongside him and dropped down next to him, close enough for him to close his eyes as he drank in the warmth of her mortal body even while she shivered at the cold he radiated. He didn't open them as he heard Tucker drop down on the other side, and kept them closed, crying silent tears as two sets of arms encircled him from either side.
"What happened?" he asked softly. "If Plasmius did it, what happened?"
"You don't remember?" Tucker sat back up, pulling away enough that he could look at Danny, preserving any sense of male dignity that might be left. There wasn't much, but he was content to let Sam cling to Danny.
Danny shook his head as he wrapped an arm around Sam, who only closed her eyes as she let her head lie against his shoulder. "I don't even remember how I got to school," he admitted as he scrubbed his cheeks with a hand.
"Your dad built something new. It was designed to neutralize intangibility in ghosts. I think Vlad was planning on using it against you sometime."
"He did," Sam said softly. "He used it on you."
Danny brushed his cheek against Sam's hair, wondering what would spur her to tell him that and nothing else. She wasn't going to, he knew. Not with the note of finality that hung in the air between them, so he turned his vivid blue gaze at Tucker, letting his eyes make the plea for him. And when Tucker said nothing Danny sighed and closed his eyes.
"Losing my intangibility wouldn't kill me," he said slowly. "What else happened?"
Sam's shoulders shook and Danny tossed a wild glance at Tucker. He knew that actually asking would be bad, but he hadn't realized that it would make Sam suddenly hysterical. The other boy just closed his eyes for a long moment, and then pulled the shaking girl from Danny's arms, tucking her securely under his own and shaking his head at Danny when he started to follow them.
"I'll be back, Danny."
Danny could only nod his assent and watch his two best friends walk away. More like Tucker drag Sam, but she wasn't in any shape to stop him. She was barely able to keep herself upright. Danny blinked rapidly against the sudden heat of tears, firmly suppressing them as he turned back to his grave and tombstone. It was so weird to just think it.
Let alone say it.
"I'm dead." The words seemed to echo ominously through the silent cemetery, and Danny shuddered as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm dead," he said again, and his voice broke this time.
It was the first time he had said it, the first time he had admitted that his life—afterlife—was officially a nightmare. With a strangled sob Danny fell to his knees, his hands hard on the ground, fingers digging into the dirt, clenching like claws. He let his forehead lie still against the grass, his tears mingling into mud as he cried, screamed, cursed the unfairness of it all.
"What did I do to deserve this?" he screamed up to the sky. He collapsed back down into himself, huddled in against his legs. "I tried, I really tried. I didn't deserve to die," he choked out as blurry eyes found his name where it was etched into stone. "I didn't deserve to die."
He shuddered back at a hand on his shoulders, staring blindly up at Tucker where he was bent over him, his face twisted into a mask of worry. "Danny," Tucker said softly.
"What did I do wrong, Tuck?" Danny asked.
"You didn't do anything wrong," Tucker said honestly. "You did what was right."
"Then why?" he asked helplessly.
Tucker sighed and dropped down to the ground next to Danny. "Because Vlad is more ruthless than you will ever be." Tucker breathed in deeply, letting the air stream out as he gathered his thoughts. "You died because you were the good guy."
"Good's supposed to win," Danny whispered.
Tucker shrugged. "This was just a single battle in the war. Good versus evil isn't something that's going to just end. It's been here forever, it'll be here forever."
Danny didn't say anything for a long time while he thought about it. He knew that Tucker was right. So when he finally did speak he did it with an even voice, burying as much of the grief, the pain and fear, any and all emotion as he could. "How's Sam?"
"She's not taking it very well, Danny."
"But she'll be alright?" Danny asked, shooting a worried ocean blue stare at Tucker.
He only shrugged. "It was hard for her today. You just showing up like that… Mixed blessings, dude. She's hurting."
Danny looked away rubbing a hand over his face. "And you?"
"I'm dealing," was all Tucker said. "It's harder for her. She's the one who found you."
Danny could only blink at Tucker for a minute. "You weren't there?"
Tucker shook his head. "I was in detention."
"Poor Sam," Danny said, not even coming close to expressing how awful he felt as he said that.
Tucker nodded. "Plasmius hit you with his new toy, you couldn't go intangible anymore. She said that he used one of the weapons he'd given Valerie. That it seared a hole clean through you."
Danny looked down at his chest, touched it and ran a hand across the material of his hazmat. Solid. At least, as solid as a ghost could be, which was solid enough for him to touch and know that there was nothing missing underneath it. "Did it… Did I suffer?" he asked quietly.
"I don't know," Tucker said honestly. "Sam refuses to talk about it. And no one else knows exactly what happened." He paused, turned to Danny with a frown. "They're blaming Valerie. They don't know it was her, but they're blaming her other half."
Danny absently rubbed his stomach, relieved that it too was solid. "I suppose I can try and correct it now, can't I?"
Tucker shook his head. "What are you going to do, out Vlad?"
Danny pursed his lips thoughtfully. Then finally shook his head regretfully. "If he'd kill me, it would put you all in too much danger. It's not worth it. Besides, Valerie knows that it wasn't her. She can at least hang up her ghost hunting."
"I suppose," was all Tucker said before silence settled around them again.
"You'll take care of her, right?" Danny asked as the sun began to set and darkness slipped in around them.
"I'll always be there for her. But you should tell her."
"Tell her what?" Danny asked, surprised as he climbed to his feet, abjuring his ghost powers in favor of trying to pretend he was still human, at least for a moment or two.
Tucker followed suit, jade eyes narrowed behind his glasses. "It's not going to kill you to tell her now. You're already dead." Danny paled as Tucker continued on. "Just do it. Quit wasting your chances."
"Tuck, it's too late for that," Danny said quietly, painfully.
"It's only too late if you let it be. You may be dead, but you're still here." Tucker's jaw clenched but he let out the breath he'd been holding and willed the tension away. "I have to go see your family now. Are you coming?"
Danny shot him a surprised look. "Why do you have to see them?"
"Because your secret is out, they have the right to have their questions answered, and Sam is in no condition to do it. I'm not so sure Jazz is either," Tucker finished as he turned to the narrow road that ran through the center of the cemetery and began walking along it, Danny following suit. Gravel crunched beneath two sets of feet.
"How do you know about Jazz?" Danny asked as they found the entrance to the cemetery. He glanced back at the darkening grave that bore his name, then away and out the gates.
"Because she's my friend, too," was all Tucker said.
---
"When did it happen?" Maddie Fenton asked Tucker, her face unnaturally pale as she leaned into her husband's side.
Tucker closed his eyes. "Freshman year. When Danny got zapped by the portal and we all told you that he'd been outside of it. He was inside. He was a ghost when he came back out."
"I don't understand. Jazz, you knew about this?" Jack, this time, his voice deep and frustrated.
Danny floated above them, watching carefully. He'd made the decision not to reveal himself to his family. After seeing how badly Sam had handled it, he was afraid to hurt anyone else like that. And he thought that maybe Tucker was right about Jazz not taking it well. From the circles under her eyes, and the fact that she had already told Tucker that she wasn't going back to school until the new semester started, he knew she wasn't as strong as she pretended to be for their parents.
Jazz nodded mutely at her father, and Danny wondered if she felt guilty about it. It would make sense. She had known, had covered for him so many times. And now she would be questioning herself about the validity of what she had done. She would be telling herself that it could have been avoided, if only she had told their parents.
Danny bit back the pained chuckle that wanted to rise in his throat at that thought. If she'd told their parents, it would have made it worse. She'd known since before Pariah Dark. If she'd told their parents, they would have tried to stop him from doing what he'd had to do. It would have ended badly. He'd have gone against their orders and done it anyway, breaking their trust, or Amity Park would have become part of his kingdom and still be in the ghost zone now.
Either way, it would have been worse than bad.
But Jazz didn't look at things like that. She liked what she could touch, see, prove. She was analytical where Danny was instinctual. It had been instinct that had kept him alive as long as he had been. If he hadn't listened to it, learned from it, he wouldn't have seen his fifteenth birthday, much less his sixteenth.
"He really came to school this morning?" Maddie asked again, her violet eyes pained.
Tucker nodded. "He didn't even realize he was…" He didn't finish the sentence, looking up at Danny where Tucker knew he was floating.
"They said that Danny showed up. Danny Fenton, not Danny Phantom." Jack pulled Maddie closer.
Jazz spoke this time, her voice very soft. "Daddy, he was both of them. Both of them were Danny. He couldn't just be one if he was going to be a full ghost. It makes sense that it would be a mix of the two."
"But why is he still here?" Jack asked. "I don't understand why he didn't move on. Why is our son a ghost?"
"Why are there ghosts at all?" Tucker countered shrewdly, forcing Danny's grieving parents to answer the question themselves.
"Because ghosts have unfinished business," Maddie whispered automatically. "And the unfinished business becomes an obsession, which keeps them from moving on."
Jack frowned. "Why would Danny have unfinished business?"
"Because Danny Fenton is Danny Phantom, and he'd made his mission to protect Amity Park from anything that came," Tucker said evenly. He'd thought about it, he was fairly sure that Danny's unfinished business was his self appointed guardianship. He still thought that it might have something to do with Sam, but mostly he believed it had to do with the town.
And from where Danny watched above them all, he shrugged as Tucker said it. He could admit it, it made sense. It was as good a reason as any for him to have stayed and not moved on. There were other things that could have caused it, but this was more logical than him just not being ready. It had a purpose to it, it felt right.
"It's not something that he'll ever escape from," Jazz said into the silence that remained, and she shot a glance up as she heard a choking sound from above. She looked at Tucker where he sat next to her and he only shook his head. She looked up again, but there was nothing there.
And there really was nothing there. Danny had fled the moment he had realized that Jazz was right. That he was trapped on the mortal coil. That knowledge, on top of everything else, was more than he could bear, and for the second time that day, he fled.