Disclaimer: I don't own any of the HP characters in this chapter except for Great Aunt Maude. Some of the ideas in his chapter were also taken from Sarah Mason's Party Season – a great book!
Author's Note: Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews – AGAIN! I'm glad you all liked the chapter. And as a big thank you, here is the next one. I hope you'll like it! Please review!
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On the wizarding internet, our loving mothers and family members search high and low for their loved ones
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To: Ron Weasley
From: Molly Weasley
Date: 15th March
Subject: Where are you?
--
Ron, darling?
Where are you? I haven't heard from you for such a long time! Please answer me and if you don't, I'll make it a point to visit the US. Have you cancelled the wedding? Let me know will you!
Love,
Mum
XXX
To: Ron Weasley
From: Ginny Weasley
Date: 15th March
Subject: What the fuck is up with you?
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Where the fucking hell are you? I mean seriously! Mum is seriously going mad here you know! Stop being a bastard and answer her if you don't want her to die from a heart attack any time soon.
Did you cancel that wedding of yours with that pug faced bitch? I sure bloody hope so because I can't have her as a sister in law, you hear me!
Anyway just so you know, I'm pregnant. Other than that, nothing much has happened here. Just answer mum. That's all I'm asking you to do.
Anyway I got to go. Lily sends her 'beloved' uncle her love and Harry says 'hi'.
See you later, Ronniekins :P
Ginny
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To: Pansy Parkinson
From: Elena Parkinson
Date: 15th March
Subject: Please, answer me!
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Dearest Pansy,
Where are you? I've been waiting for more than FIVE days and I still haven't heard from you about your canceling the wedding! Have you, Pansy? Have you cancelled the thing!
Your poor father is suffering more than ever. I don't want you end up like Armand. I really don't, so please, sweetheart, answer me! It's the only way I'll stop worrying.
Love,
Mum
XXX
To: Pansy Parkinson
From: Patricia Parkinson
Date: 15th March
Subject: Where the bloody hell are you?
--
Do you have any idea of how much mum has been worrying these past few days? And you haven't been doing anything to make her feel better! How can you be so inconsiderate, Pansy! Seriously, buck up and answer!
E-mail me once you've read this and tell us whether you've cancelled your crap. Oh yeah, and get a life while you are at it! Just giving you some sisterly advice…
Pat
XXX
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On WMSN (the Wizarding Messaging Service Network)…
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15th of March
-RonW has been added on to this conversation-
MolWeasly: Hello, Ron! Are you there?
(You have received an automated message from RonW: If I don't answer within twenty seconds, it means that I'm not at the computer at the moment so please talk to me later)
MolWeasley: Ron! Where are you! I really need to talk to you, sweetheart
(You have received an automated message from RonW If I don't answer within twenty seconds, it means that I'm not at the computer at the moment so please talk to me later)
MolWeasley: Ron! Answer me, right now, young man!
(You have received an automated message from RonW: If I don't answer within twenty seconds, it means that I'm not at the computer at the moment so please talk to me later)
MolWeasley: I give up!
(You have received an automated message from RonW: If I don't answer within twenty seconds, it means that I'm not at the computer at the moment so please talk to me later)
MolWeasley: ARGH! I get it!
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On Pansy's answering machine…
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15th of March
Hey! This is Pansy here! I'm not in at moment but you could leave a message if you please…
(Tone)
Hello Pansy? This is your mother here…can you please call me once you receive this! Thank you. Bye!
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Fifteen minutes later…
Hey! This is Pansy here! I'm not in at moment but you could leave a message if you please…
(Tone)
Pansy! Mum here again. Call me, will you! We need to talk!
XX
Forty-five minutes later…
Hey! This is Pansy here! I'm not here at moment but you could leave a message if you please! Thank you!
(Tone)
WHERE ARE YOU PANSY PARKINSON! CALL ME RIGHT NOW OR YOU'LL BE GROUNDED FOR LOGNER THAN YOU THINK, YOUNG LADY. –sigh- I can't do that now can I? My daughter is growing up so fast…Just call me when you can…
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15th of March
xxx
DRACO MALFOY'S PERSONAL ORGANISER
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- Hold a dinner party for the ministry officials (…and invite them over for a short stay if possible) – it's the only way I can think of right now to get them to veto the 'Turn Lanconsmede into a cement haven' decision.
- Get the place ready for Great Aunt Maude – and fast! God!
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15th of March
xxx
THE DIARY OF HERMIONE GRANGER
(Toss the Travel Diary thing)
--
Ron does it, again! And so does bloody Malfoy. Argh! It annoys me so much you know. It really does! Well you see, I woke up today with a big smile plastered on my face thinking as I stepped down the stairs to meet everyone, that everything was going to be okay, today. Except, as always, I soon found out that I was wrong – AGAIN!
During Mrs. Cole's (the cook's) lovely prepared breakfast, Malfoy announced that he was having a dinner for some of the Ministry officials tomorrow or the day after – mainly to change their decision about Lanconsmede.
"Oh, that's great Draco!" gushed Pansy immediately after Malfoy's small talk. "Now, you'll be too busy to notice our absence"
"What absence?" I asked, chewing delicately on my sausage, unaware of how devastating her answer was going to be. Ron, for a reason I am now aware of, turned red then.
"Ron and me…we'll be gone for a few days. We are leaving today as we have to check on a few things for the wedding. We might even be out of town for awhile – about three days. Gosh! Arranging a wedding is no easy thing!" continued Pansy, oblivious to my pale face. Ron was avoiding my eyes again. I knew what this meant – it meant that the both of them were leaving me alone with the git for THREE FREAKING DAYS!
Somebody's fork suddenly dropped onto the marble floor with a clatter, breaking the awkward silence that had formed. My fork. "But you just came here!" I insisted. Malfoy, who was sitting opposite me was muttering to himself. Something about three rooms being free.
"Which is why we should get started immediately" said Pansy simply as she sipped on her fresh orange juice.
I glared hard at Ron who was too busy staring at a bird outside. The reason for his sudden interest in birds was quite obvious "Can I come?" I asked
"Yeah, can she go?" asked Malfoy, stepping out his dream-like reverie.
"No" replied Pansy, chewing slowly on a piece of egg. Ron was still 'mesmerized' with the bird.
"Why not?" moaned Malfoy and me simultaneously. I glared at the bastard angrily who merely smirked at my red face in return. His calm and collected ways were annoying me more than ever – he was crossing the line here. I was, to put it simply, bubbling with rage!
"Because…" started Pansy before sighing heavily "You tell them, Ron"
Ron turned to us at last, albeit reluctantly "Um…well, it's sort of a couple only thing"
"Couple only thing?" I gasped before hurrying on "Don't worry! I'll stay away from you guys"
"You can lock her up in the car maybe, just to be on the safe side. Oh wait, you won't have to. She'll be carjacking them anyway" smiled the egomaniac himself.
"You'll be bored" continued Ron, ignoring Malfoy's remark and sneer.
"No, I won't!" I begged "I really will stay away from you guys as much as possible. I promise! I really –"
"How ever much you say that, Granger, the bottom line is you're staying here with Draco" interrupted Pansy with a bit of sympathy. A bit, I'm telling you. "And it's final" she added when Malfoy opened his mouth.
"But you can't make me stay with him… alone!" I moaned, jabbing my fingers angrily in Malfoy's direction
"Yeah!" agreed the git, ignoring my fingers which seemed to be in his face and up his nose "You can't make her stay with me alone! That'll be like hell – only ten times worse! Come on Pansy! You know how much I'm allergic to mudblood germs an–"
"You say that one more time you sissy bastard and I'll make sure it's the last thing you ever say" threatened Ron as he suddenly stood up, interrupting Malfoy's train of thoughts for a second. The tips of my best friend's ears were reddening – which is, I've learned throughout the years, never a good sign.
"Ron, ignore him" I urged, moving towards Ron as Pansy made her way towards Malfoy who was also up "He's being an idiot – like always"
"I'd like to see you try" sneered Malfoy
"Both of you, that's enough!" ordered Pansy, angrily "You two are just making me sick! Just shut up!"
"Well he started it!" snapped Ron
"Excuse me but I'd appreciate it if you shut the fuck up for a second, Weasel and stop insulting me in my house wit–"
"DID YOU NOT HERE ME? SHUT UP!" shouted Pansy as her voice echoed through the house. The maids who were scurrying around stopped for a few minutes before walking again. Even I had to cover my ears to stop them from bursting.
Ron and Malfoy stared at each other in a daze for a few minutes before the former (Ron) turned away and muttered "Lets go Pansy. We'll be leaving now". As he moved up the stairs with his to be wife, he looked at me one last time, his eyes meeting mine squarely "I'm sorry 'Mione"
And with that they left me all alone with a monster. I felt, somewhat, like distressed damsel in need of her prince charming – wherever he was. You know, you'd think the scene would end right then, right? But oh, no. Carsile, Malfoy's butler came into the living room right at the moment of their departure to announce the arrival of somebody by the name of Maude Malfoy.
At that moment, the heavy wooden oak doors to the room opened, and an eccentric lady of about fifty walked into the room and I'll tell you guys one thing – the lady looked nothing like a Malfoy. I actually thought Carsile must have made a mistake or something. Surely, I must have heard him all wrong.
But that thought flew right out of my head, the instant Malfoy moved towards the lady and held her sort of lightly in a hug "Dear Aunt Maude!" greeted the bastard in a very pompous manner "It's been too long! A pleasure to have you here"
I knew then that this was going to be a very long journey…maybe even interesting. Heck! Not maybe…it'll certainly be interesting. The problem is…I'm just not in the mood for interesting…
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15th of March
xxx
DRACO MALFOY'S PERSONAL ORGANISER
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- After I kill the Weasel, I have decided to burn his body and flush his ashes down the loo – he might feel more at home there
- Don't get Pansy the expensive gift I was talking about earlier – she betrayed me!
- Remember to inform Mrs. Cole about the dinner
- Remember to tell Mrs. Cole that Aunt Maude is a vegetarian
- And lastly, burn Granger's dead body and flush her ashes along with the Weasel's.
Okay you know…Aunt Maude is not, and even she admits it, a true Malfoy. And I'll give you several reasons, why:
1) She does NOT have the classic Malfoy blonde (x10) hair and
2) She does NOT have our steel (x100) gray eyes and lastly
3) She loves (x1000) muggles…which is, I'm sorry to say, her greatest downfall and shortcoming of all. Or so my family claims.
Mother even went as far as to stop inviting her over to stay over at the Malfoy Manor. Yes, my dear great aunt Maude, the black sheep of the family and muggle lover, was banished from our social spheres
And so why, you may all ask, am I allowing her stay over with me? Well ignoring her obvious infatuation for mudbloods and their toys, she really is a nice person. I have, throughout my life, developed a sort of grandmotherly love for her – mostly because she is the loving grandmother I never had. But I know mother would be truly appalled at my agreeing a mudblood AND a mudblood lover to reside with me. Even I think I'm going crazy!
"Ah…dear Draco" smiled Aunt Maude as she hugged my tightly – my blood circulation stopped for a few minutes "You've grown so much!"
I blushed. I, honestly, did. I mean, come on! Who tells that to a grown man and from Granger's smirk, I could see that she thought so too. "Yes, I have, haven't I?" I mumbled, pulling her away from the door "Tea, Aunt Maude?"
"In just a moment, dear! You still haven't introduced me to your friend here, yet" she smiled, winking at me slightly
"Friend?" I looked around the room for this friend she was talking about. But the only person in the living room other than ourselves was Granger (a confused Granger) and she, certainly, didn't fit the category of 'friends'.
"Yes, that young lady over there. Come here, sweetheart" she urged the mudblood. Okay so she was referring to the bitch. "Come here and have some tea with us. Gosh! Draco hasn't introduced me to one of his girlfriends for quite a while. He is very, unfortunately, secretive on the subject"
Granger turned a deep shade of red as she sat beside my aunt – something I would have found extremely hilarious if I HADN'T BEEN TURNING RED TOO! Damn my cheeks! Aunt Maude, being the busy body she is, mistook our flaming red cheeks for something entirely of a different sort. Something incorrect….and well, wrong!
"Pray sweetheart, what is your name?" asked my great aunt as she picked her cup up from the tray, one of the maids had set up earlier.
Granger shot me a pleading look. Yeah well, incase she hadn't noticed, I wasn't exactly in a position to offer help when I clearly needed it myself! "I am…well, I am –" she started, her cheeks going red as ever
"- not my girlfriend. She is not my girlfriend" I finished the sentence for her except I don't think it did much and if it did do anything, it only made the situation worse.
"Draco, please speak when you are spoken to" reprimanded my great aunt before turning to Granger once again "Now sweetheart, do please continue. I'm sorry you were interrupted. Draco, here, has yet to polish up his manners" I tried hard to hide my face with little success. Relatives!
"I'm Hermione. Hermione Granger" answered the mudblood, at last, as she glared at me as though this was all, my fault! My fault, I tell you! Hello! If she wasn't there, none of this would've happened in the first place!
Aunt Maude looked vaguely surprised "Hermione Granger, the journalist?" When Granger nodded her head mutely, Maude Malfoy smiled mockingly "I never thought I'd live to see the day when you'd date a lady with an IQ higher than 10 – a muggle, nonetheless! A lady who is not blonde haired and blue eyed with a model figure, Draco. I'm proud of you, young man!"
That just made the both of us (Granger and myself) redden even more. Once again, I received the pleading look from Granger "Aunt Maude–" My voice had, unfortunately, gone all husky as I was losing my ability to speak in all my embarrassment. "We are not –"
"That is quite enough, Draco. I will not tell your mother if that's what you are so worried about…I'm not even talking to the lady so –"
"That's not my problem" I muttered, angrily. God! Sometimes, I seriously wonder why he who is up there has graced this planet with beings we call relatives.
"Well then, there's no need to worry is there?" she smiled before gasping in remembrance "Oh! I almost forgot! Draco sweetheart, I got a new pet"
Aunt Maude's love for weird animals is not something new and unknown within the Malfoy clan "What's it this time? A hippogriff?" I asked, glad for the subject change.
"No, its better!" she gushed. Granger started us, quizzically, her eyes darting between us, back and forth. How much I'd give to know what was going on in that little head of hers. "I got a spider!"
I immediately regretted bringing this subject up. Listening to her go on to about my dating habits might have been better – or maybe not…God! I bloody don't know or care, for that matter! "A spider" squeaked Granger as her face turned a deathly pale. She was scared to say the least.
"Yes, a tarantula!"
The mudblood let out a small, shrilly scream as Aunt Maude pulled out a huge hairy eight-legged creature from her bag. I thanked whoever is up there several times for giving the lady the sense to put it in a glass box! "I call her Poppet" announced my great aunt, proudly
"Poppet?" I repeated, incredulously. God! Inviting Aunt Maude was probably not a great idea "Aunt Maude, you can not have that creature in here"
"And why not?" pouted the old lady. Granger looked as though she was suffering from a major heart attack
"Because" I started in my There is no Santa Clause voice "I'm having a dinner here tomorrow and I can't have that hairy…thing in here while –"
"Don't worry, darling" she assured me "I take it out for walks every night so it won't be in the house while you have your precious dinner with her" She smiled then, suggestively at Granger. God! It was way beyond sickening! "I'll make sure I lock her away afterwards an-"
"Walks?" interrupted Granger and me at the same time. And during the whole time, I was thinking: Please let this be a horrible horrible nightmare. I even pinched myself several times. Only I never woke up in bed.
"Yes dears. Walks. You have to take your pets out for walks you know. Its important that they have their exercise" she said, all too knowingly.
"No I didn't know" I mumbled, sarcastically
Aunt Maude took the ugly creature out of the box and started petting it lovingly, much to my disgust. She even laid the hairy monster in front of the mudblood, who shrank back into her chair involuntarily. "I think I should get going" said Granger right after Poppet started walking. Standing up immediately, she moved away from the spider with elaborate care.
"Where to my dear?" asked my aunt, concerned
"I-er…appointment. Anyway see you later, Ms. Maude. It really is a pleasure to meet you" she answered in a rush and skipped away. Lucky bitch! She closed the door behind her even before my aunt could get a word out (her suggestion that Granger should call her Aunt Maude too instead of Ms. Maude died on her lips as the bitch left us by ourselves).
"You scared her, I think" stated Aunt Maude, simply when we were alone.
"I scared her?" I asked as I eyed Poppet, the tarantula wearily
"Yes, telling me that she's not your girlfriend, in front of her nonetheless, when the both of you clearly seem to be the best for each other is certainly not a nice thing to do, Draco" You know, death would probably have been a good idea right then. "I would have run away too" she continued as she picked Poppet up and kissed the disgusting fur ball lightly. It took me a hell of a lot of strength to stop myself from puking right then "So what are you planning on doing for this special dinner of yours with her? How about candles and roses? Do they still do that these days or is it some sort of old folk thing now?" Yes, death would have been quite pleasurable.
- Get roses and candles to stop Aunt Maude from yakking on and on about the dinner
- Keep Poppet far away from the ministry officials – at all costs!
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A/N: So how was it? Boring, I know. But still please, review. I'd appreciate it very much! If there were any typos and grammar mistakes – I'm sorry. I can only read the thing once. :D Anyway cya all later – I might take awhile to update as I have my final exams in two weeks. I'll try to do my best but till then – adios!