Chapter 14

Trouble Sleeping with a Side of Broken Heart

Alex Nunez stopped water and promptly exited the shower with her hair still wet as the looked at herself in the foggy bathroom mirror at Jay's house. She wrung out her hair in the sink beneath her. She dried her hair with the towel and shook it out splashing some water on the mirror. As the water fell down in droplets she started the get a glimpse at her face.

Now, by looking at the mirror she comes face to face with her own worst enemy. She had felt guilty about throwing herself at Jay because he this evening has done so much good for her and she hadn't repaid him with much of a thank-you. As soon as they entered the house she raced to the shower. She felt dirty. Jay was nice enough to give her some of his warmest hoodies and sweatpants to choose from lying beside the sink before she headed into the bathroom. Plus she thought she'd give Manny and Jay the chance to smooth things over and talk. She's always had a funny way of thanking people. She never had much as a little girl nor did she when she was kid, everything she got she either stole or bought herself. For awhile she couldn't even support herself, evidently. Homeless and drug addicted but not supported.

Manny just sat down on the couch silently. She was drunk still but it was wearing off at the sobering discovery that she is no longer the only girl in Jay's house. She snuggled up on the couch against Jay, exchanging looks but speaking no words. Jay got annoyed at the silence, patted his pockets searching for his cigarettes, Manny pulled out a lighter from her bra and passed it to him, turning to look at him, "Could I have one?"

Against his better judgement he said, "Sure, fine."

Jay took both cigarettes, a kiss from him to her, and lit them both simultaneously. He picked the one from his lip and handed it to Manny. He jokingly pulled back with it and then relented as she brought it to her fingers and in her hold she pulled it to her lips not breaking eye contact while she did so. Jay shrugged, "Are you going to talk now?"

Manny sighed, "I knew I was going to walk into something if I said anything. Even if it had nothing to do with what happened tonight."

"Besides the obvious you looked beautiful and I looked like some schmuck from a trailer park."

"Jay that isn't true."

"What you're not beautiful. Manny have you looked in the mirror? Look at me, I'm not exactly prince charming but I do know one thing. I love you, I love you so much but if you don't feel the same I want you gone. I can't have this. I already lost a girl once, I don't want to lose you too."

Manny sniffled at that revelation and she agreed, "I love you too bae."

"Then why would you give me that sort of heart attack tonight, the idea that you don't think I love you. I might not be Richie Rich Craig Manning -"

"What about Craig?"

"Please, I know you better than you know yourself. You saw him, out in LA. He loved you. Heck, I think he still does. The lyrics in his songs. About a black-haired beauty with an M in her name. Fuck, Manny. Sometimes I rethink that you're the smart one here."

"Jay, what are you saying?"

"I don't want to be your doormat, Manny!" Jay hollered. "I don't want to be the guy waiting in the wings for you."

Manny couldn't believe what she was hearing, she took a drag from her cigarette her mouth wide afterwards just before the exhale, "Jay you're drunk."

"And you're a bitch!" Jay yelled back feverishly with much anger directed to Manny. It was the most angered that she had ever seen him before. She was taken back in pure terror. She had never ever seen this side of him. She was honestly fearing for her life as she stepped backwards as he snapped out of his angry trance looking at her shaking his head in disgust and sadness at himself but projected onto Manny, the girl he loved the girl of his dreams.

"I'm a bitch, okay. What about you? You've hooked up with every girl friend I could ever have. It's hard enough making friends in this town let alone long-standing fucking relationships."

Alex overheard them argue as she washed her face with warm sudsy water from the sink. She had remnants of racoon eyes from her heavy stripping makeup she was scrubbing hard being careful not to burn her eyes with the glittery paste upon her eyelashes and skin around her eyes. She had some freckles dappled on her face that were soft brown and her foundation always hid those little skin discoloration from a lack of pigmentation as she's vastly nocturnal and an insomniac at that. Her stripper's schedule wasn't exactly unkind for a while she lived out of her car, hung out in a wooded area with her car that remained pretty dark, she'd lock all the doors and hideaway, she had tinted windows for a reason, not to mention she was richer then. She had just started stripping and she wasn't doing as many drugs back than. Alex was smoking bowl in the woods when she sherif nearly caught her. He couldn't really stop her and her roommate Becca. She was a not exactly out ministers daughter who lived not too far in the house outside of the woods that Alex slept in. She took a few clients for some romance and company and sometimes was able to get a bite to eat and a bed to sleep in their house after she entertained them for sex and shit. It was living, she was freer then. She was her own boss. Freelance she called it. She made good money pretending to be a lesbian. She was never attracted to their sex. It was sloppy the men were ugly and if she could she'd put a bag over their heads she could imagine it'd be anyone she really wanted. Paige with a penis sometimes she'd say over and over in mind while she's on the bed with them letting them get their jollies on a twenty something who would entertain a grown man.

Now she had no place to live so entertaining people was how she got her drug supply but Jay is letting Alex live there rent-free as long as she's clean. If not he will drive her to the shelter. He couldn't have her doing drugs. He wouldn't stand for it and he knew that Alex was strong enough to make it through. It's just to cope with the horrible things she had to do to get by.

Manny sighed, "I'm taking the bed, you're on the fucking couch tonight."

"Over my dead body, Manny. Just so you're wondering, it's fucking over. We are through and the ring -"

"What ring?" Manny asked before he could finish what he was going to say with a gasp.

"I was going to ask you to marry me tonight."

"What?" Manny was taken back at this new revelation, so the plot thickens. All along Jay had big plans for he and Manny. He wanted her, for life or at least his mind was made up this morning. When he went shopping with Sean.

Alex rinsed her face, sighing. It's not a home unless someone is fighting or yelling. Just like a regular evening at the Nunez household back in the day it was a regular wrestling match with the family involved. Alex hated her life for a long time. It was time she start living life the way it should be a hearty mix of the good and the bad. For Alex this type of good could do her a lot of good.

Jay told Manny a story, about earlier that day. Alex looked in the cabinet in the mirror for q-tips to clean her ears and nose, and some nail clippers to cut her rather long and unsightly nails that needed some cleaning up and if she splurges a manicure but she'd rather cut them a bit before the manacurist sees her and besides this was evening entertainment she was listening to. The yelling actually soothed her. She clipped her nails and found some of Manny's nail polish and did her nails after she moisturizer her legs with some lotion she found inside there. She was just not sure if it was the best idea if she should come out to interrupt them. They need to talk it out considering they don't usually talk.

Sean was standing at a jewelry case uptown. He was looking at rings of all sorts. The store clerk was standing behind the case going through each ring as Sean asks about them, the price wasn't the deal it was the look of it and which one he saw would fit best for Emma. No Sean didn't want to propose, yet he wanted to make a promise first. He knew Emma wouldn't want to marry him right away and he was okay with that.

And then he saw it, "What about this one closest to me in the very front."

The clerk reached in the unlocked cabinet and grabbed the small silver dainty ring in his hands and giving the ring to Sean for a close up look, "Take a look. We have a princess cut diamond, silver band with small diamonds around it. It's 24 carat white gold. I think it's most lovely. Whoever she is - quite the lucky woman."

"How much?" Sean asked.

"3,000.99 dollars."

"I'm looking for a promise ring." Sean said slinking back with the price. He could afford it it's just it's a bit much for a promise ring. Especially because he would have to follow-up with an out of this world engagement ring.

"She's special is she not?" The clerk asked, "special girl deserves a special ring she's in it for the long haul I mean you're a good guy, a cool guy she would be over the moon if she got this."

"I'll take it." Sean said impulsively without any hesitation as took out the money, the guy took it and put the ring in a box and gave it to him. "Thank you."

Jay watching through the window was waiting outside the jewelry store with his hands in his pockets doing something he likes to call people watch. Technically he didn't go in because he isn't allowed. Years ago he broke into the store and he's been banned for life, "You got it dude?"

Sean smiled, "Yup. It's beautiful." Sean took it out of the box and admired it standing next to Jay. The guys were bundled up Jay was wearing a hat Emma had knitted for him when he started hanging out with her at Manny's request. Jay did everything for Manny, he even paid her bills like cell phone and some random living expenses. He just sends her a check or does it online. He deals with the fine print of everything she has to do because she trusted him not accountants. She's heart plenty of account mishandling and she couldn't let that happen to her after how hard she's worked to get herself to this pinnacle of fame.

"We got the song, the food, the ring now what?" Sean checked his mental check list out loud counting with his fingers, shrugging his shoulders offering a look to Jay seeing if he has anything to add. After all, Jay knows Emma pretty well.

"We've got everything." Sean said double checking the list within his mind, "I've got the pictures at home and if you see Emma, Jay don't say anything."

"All you've told me was a story about Sean getting a ring for Emma. What does this have to do with you? Or me for that matter."

"Months ago, last time you cancelled for a photo shoot I had bought a ring. In fact, the same style ring. I was hoping you'd come visit and I could take you out for dinner and I'd propose but the timing was all wrong. You only flew in for a weekend and we sat on the couch and did squat. We didn't even have sex. It was awkward as fuck, it was like we were roommates that never saw each other. It was awful, Manny. I hated you. I couldn't wait for you to go on home."

Manny got up off the couch flabbergasted at Jay's remarks about her and their relationship and treating it like it was some sort of joke. For someone so invested in the relationship, he seemed like he felt the opposite. Manny waved her arms all around, "I can't be who you want me to be I guess, right?"

"I love who you used to be, Manny. This girl, standing before me, isn't you. Snap out of it, I mean it, snap out of it or we're absolutely through."

"I thought we were through." Manny spat back crossing her arms and closing her eyes exasperated as Jay walked into the other room to get a snack. He was hungry, he hadn't stopped home for something to eat because he wanted to just get home and get Alex settled in before he got too tired to set her up with her room, bed and shower and not to mention warm clothes would do her good. He also decided he knew he'd be up for a few hours so he put on a coffee. It helped him blow of steam, the smell of hot dark roast coffee as it warmed up to be ready for consumption. Jay followed the directions on the canister and turned around as he felt Manny's presence as she stood in the crook of the door eyeing him not saying a damn word. She was still angry.

Alex got bored with sitting all cooked up in the bathroom so she finally emerged, hung her towel on the door of the bathroom on the tiny white hook centering the door. Her hair was all brushed out and damp. It was so long. He couldn't get over it. Alex had a rubber band around her thin wrist she lifted it to throw her hair up but Jay shook his head as he saw her come out of the bathroom, the entrance spilled out into the kitchen.

"You look better with your hair down, anyways. When we were kids you always kept it short."

"I like it short I just can't really afford a haircut if drugs are always on the menu, drugs wound up being much more important."

"And about that, remember no drugs in this house. I won't allow it." Jay said sternly pointing his finger at her, "Look, sorry if you heard any of that back there. Things are just really tense lately. Manny's been away for a long time, she's back and everything is perfect and then suddenly they aren't."

"Spare me, really I don't need to know your business."

"You are still my business." Jay said ruffling Alex's hair.

Jay didn't realize that Manny was still standing at the crook of the door. In a huff she walked off to strip the bed for Alex most likely. He wasn't paying attention, she didn't want to talk and Jay wasn't going to agitate her any more than he likely did when he ruffled her feathers that night. They had never fought like that before. It was a side he never really wanted to see out of her or him together. He was more affected by the events of this night than he let on in front of Alex, for her sake. She was nervous, shaking like a leaf. Jay used to do drugs but never to the point of addiction. He did mushrooms, psychedelics but he stayed away from coke or heroin. Marijuana was his go to, it was cheap and it had a nice high so he kept it up. When he went to clubs he did Molly or E to the kids back then. Now that he's older he sort of fell away from them, mostly he did them to rebel from his rich upbringing parents who wanted him to go to prep schools. Jay is smart he just doesn't use his brain. He was highly intelligent in grade school, he went to a catholic school. Brought home great grades but when it came to interacting with his peers quickly becoming the bully of the school. He was always taller and older looking unlike the other boys and girls. He always looked older but he was never held back. As his grades slipped and he grew increasingly distant from his parents he started acting out. Smoking in the bathroom, bringing cocktails in an empty water bottle to class and drinking the bottle by third period before sleeping it off fifth through seventh periods. He'd gorge at lunch and barf right after. He'd constantly skip out on gym and other classes just because he could and he wanted to. Jay was always that kid. For one year, seventh grade his father sent him to military school, just like his father did before him. It was a family tradition only Jay got himself booted from there. That's when he went to the public school nearest to their home Degrassi Community School and despite all the ruckus he wasn't suspended or expelled indefinitely until his junior year. He had several seats in front of Principal Raditch, and then after her Hot-sauce Hatzilacos. He easily thought that the stricter former principal would've eventually expel him but it turned out that ol' Daphne had him beat. He didn't really care. He was over that place anyway. He hated Degrassi, the shooting was the source of repressed memories for him.

Manny ripped off her dress and removed her bra, throwing on a dirty tee-shirt that still managed to smell just like Jay and his cologne. She slid under the covers and turned on her side facing the wall, she cuddled herself up small and laid in bed half-hoping on the off-chance that Jay would come to her and talk to her but while she hoped that she also managed to fall asleep. She left the door open a crack letting in some light. Jay and Alex decided to wait out the coffee there.

Alex sat at the kitchen table looking at Jay, "You look good, Jay. Your life is more together than my life."

"I can't say the same, Lex. What happened to you?"

"I fell on hard times."

"I'll say. Look, it happens, I know you're a good person. Manny will come around. You'll see."

"What if she doesn't?" Alex said, "Besides, she's so not my type. It's not like I have a big lesbian crush on her. Trust me."

"I think she means about you and me."

"Can I get a never again?" Alex asked laughing, she pulled a joint out of her pocket, "What do you say, Jay we have a party? Would she care if we blazed it up in here?"

Jay hushed her pulling it toward him examining it. "I don't see any harm done with doing this sort of drug in the house."

"You thinking what I'm thinkin'? Since it was my idea pass it back to me."

Jay pulled her out a lighter, and gave it to her, replying in a whisper, "You just have to be absolutely quiet, I think she fell asleep."

"No offense, Jay but really, I shouldn't be saying this but, really? Manny Santos, of all people?" Alex put the joint between her lips and lit it, sucking a hit from it before taking it between her fingers from her letting out a cloud of smoke passing it to Jay above her, she even got up a bit to reach him, he's taller than her.

"Last time I checked you were all wrapped up in Michalchuck."

Alex shrugged shaking her head, "Wasn't meant to be, alright?"

"Why would you say that?" Jay said, "She's gay, you're gay."

"That's the problem, I don't think she was really gay. I have this theory, insane but a theory that Paige is bisexual or just would normally be straight if the right boy came along or rather the right girl came along, that girl being me. She had the hots for me."

Jay shrugged, "I didn't like how she treated you."

"This coming from the boy who cheated on me, that's rich."

"And I apologized, one thousand times."

"It's fine, I've heard it all before." Alex replied jokingly as she tapped the seat beside her as Jay took his hit and passed it back to Alex, she sparked it up and sent it back to Jay before speaking, "I mean you've been together for an eon but, why? I just I don't get it." Jay sat down moving the chair closer to hers.

"It was after you moved away."

"So?" Alex asked, "You knew we couldn't be together anymore, I was sure you were over it."

"I just thought we were going to be you know, that couple." Jay said, "Cheesy, huh?"

"No you didn't, which is why we weren't ever intimate a lot. We had sex for the first time, I lost my virginity five minutes later I'm sobbing next to you in bed and you're like, tissues we need tissues and then you made me laugh for fifteen minutes straight and then I cried because I didn't know why I felt so wrong."

"Alex . . "

"It's okay, Jay. I need to acknowledge my issues. I do have issues."

"I guess we're on the couches tonight, which is good we do need to catch up." Jay said as he noticed the coffee was ready to be poured. Jay got up, cursing himself for sitting down because he actually was comfortable until just then. He reached for the cups in the cupboard. "Lex, you still take your coffee with three sugars and two creamers?" Jay chuckled as Alex picked two up, adding while laughing, "I stole these creamers from The Dot while Em was working."

"She has plenty." Jay tossed the packs of sugars and creamers from the fridge that had the polka-dots from the dot's decor on them. Alex took the cup from Jay as he poured them both a steaming up of coffee. The two caught up with each others lives ins and outs. Alex in the back of her mind couldn't be too angry because to be fair their relationship wasn't as easy as it looked and it was time it was recognized as that. As they fixed their coffees to their liking, the lifted their cups and clanged them quietly together in a celebratory way before the sipped their coffees. Alex smiled at Jay and he at Alex before Jay smoked from the joint once again. "Jay I want to apologize for, earlier."

"No need -"

"Yes, I have a need to explain myself." Alex said patting him on the shoulder, "Thanks for everything, I mean it. I will find a way to pay you back."

Lex, I'm really sorry too. I know the phone works both ways but this was kind of emergency, don't you think? You worried me sick. I couldn't even watch you dance like that, degrade yourself. Lexxi, you are a beautiful strong woman that doesn't deserve a fate like that."

Alex made a face but managed to show a smile, "Jay I appreciate you. You really are the best friend a girl could ask for."

Alex sipped her coffee but after wards blew on it because the drink was still mostly hot. She took another creamer from the stash of creamers on the kitchen table and added another. In fact before, she did that she took a creamer and passed one to Jay, he put the bud joint in the ashtray and opened on herself. "Let's take a shot."

"No way, Lexxi." Jay replied shaking his head, but he did it anyway, "I used to do this out to dinner with my parents. Boy did they ever get pissed at me."

"I see the kid in you still." Alex complimented him smiling at him brightly. Her hair was drier now and it had hints of different hues in it from brown to black. She hadn't seen a proper place to do her hair and it was all sorts of dead looking. You could tell she was coloring her own hair at the dollar store buying hair dye that she knew would only come out in a week or two. She started growing gray hairs, she pulled them out or dyed them to get rid of that. Alex is almost always stressed or on edge and quite skid-dish.

Alex looked at her coffee as she sipped it laughing at nothing in particular, "I did look hot though, my stint as a stripper."

"You can't argue that." Jay replied in agreement sipping his coffee.

. . .

Emma and Sean left the club and ran outside into the freezing cold rain storm that started minutes before they walked out the front door. They waved their hands and a Taxi stopped for them. They told him where to go, "Degrassi St. Please."

He was an older man, there was a partition that separated the driver from you, Sean shut it for immense privacy. He leaned on Emma his forehead touching hers careful not to give the driver an eyeful as they flirted in the back seat. "Emma, I had a good time tonight, you know all things considered."

"Well baby, the night is still young. Maybe, if you're up for some late night fun." Emma replies seductively biting her bottom lip teasingly and lovingly.

Sean's eyes danced at that comment as he pulled her closer to him and kissed her passionately, with his hand he grabbed the back of her head inching toward her neck, breathing hard and heavy before he took a light nibble to it and she giggled in pleasure. He pulled away laughing biting his lip too and blushing, "I just get all giddy with you."

"I do too." Emma replied biting her tongue careful not to let him know just how connected she feels to Sean just there in that moment. Sean combed Emma's hair with his fingers, her hair was soft and tangle-free. From the rain her curls had sort of waved out and turned into nothing.

Sean pulled her in once again not letting her come up for hair for a few lingering moments causing her to break the kiss and kiss him on the cheek, "I love you, Sean. I always have and I think I always will."

"You think, huh?" Sean asked tickling her causing her to get loud with laughter causing the cab driver to cough as he stopped the car. Yelling back to them, "Degrassi St, The Dot Cafe."

Emma and Sean got out paid the guy, gave him a nice tip and jogged the way to Emma's apartment, he took her by the hand to speed it up. They dashed up the theirs faster than dogs in the snow as they made it through Emma's newly unlocked door way, their hands interlaced as Emma plants him with another kiss as he slides off her warm winter coat. He removes his too while her hands linger all over his body. Emma falls on the floor on top of Sean, she adjusts herself and doesn't care that they had fallen they were completely in tune with one another. He leaned in and kissed her lips more passionately than before.

Elsewhere, Craig sipped his latte he just had delivered by the wait staff at the hotel as he overlooked town from his window watching the freshly laid snow land all over the rafters below and the dozens upon hundreds of home sprawled out across the town of Degrassi. The Sleepy Town at night. He felt like a boy on Christmas, like he did when he was little mom was still alive and dad was different, kind even. Craig just admired the snow, alone in his hotel room he received a call. he thought it was funny considering the time. It was Manny, and she sounded like she was crying, "Craig, is that you?"

Craig impulsively nodded on the phone, "Yes."

"Why, did you text me tonight?"

"I needed to talk to you. I'm alone, at The Inn on the edge of town. I can see your front lights on in front of Jay's."

"I want them to think I'm asleep, but I'll sneak out the side window in um, about fifteen minutes."

"That would be awesome, make it twenty I should get a shower and uh stop at the gift shop for some things. If I'm having a guest, need snacks, drinks things like that sort."

Manny laughed getting out of bed and slipping on her shift dress as she had nothing to wear and slipped a pair of black yoga pants she had in the closet in the chest of clothes she hardly wore but still owned. She didn't want to be overly dressed. Her make up was still on from the club she just cleaned it up in the mirror, popped in some gum to save her breath and threw her hair up and for good measure a pair of good study hoops. She walked the path that led down the street to the hotel. She walked in the lobby and she announced she was there to him on the other line. "What room are you in."

"I'm on the twelfth floor and Manny, I'll be waiting at The Door." With that he hung up the phone. She stuffed her phone in her pocket and pressed twelve on the elevator and as she came up to the open doors, and stepped forward she saw Craig and ran to him, he twirled her in a loving embrace and planted her with a kiss, only she didn't pull away. In fact she kissed him back, hard.

As she pulled away, she asked, "Why are you so inevitable to me?"