Chapter 23

Maybe, Baby

Emma Nelson walked up the street by herself to the drugstore to buy some light snacks and food for the house, it was only a stones throw away from her apartment. Her friends wouldn't even notice she was missing, it was a short walk and everyone was still passed out from the night before. Sean, Jay and Alex were still snoozing into the afternoon at the apartment, they had stayed the night. It's not the first time and it won't be the last. Everyone was up late consoling Jay, when he got back the emotions set in that Manny was indeed gone.

He loved her, despite everything he truly did. He thought he had the time to work things out before she went along home, he told them what had happened in the back bedroom. They both cried. He felt pretty sorry about it. At least he knew that Manny didn't resent him or hate him, it was the opposite her feelings were mutual but she needed space and she had a job to go back to.

Darcy too was in the drugstore as she decided against her better judgement to buy herself a pregnancy test. There was no way she was still suffering from the virus she had for the past week. As she turned around, even in her sunglasses she feared Emma Nelson would recognize her. She was the last person she wanted to see. She knew that Emma had the tendency to be judgmental back in highschool so she planned to take no chances, stuffing the pregnancy test behind her back on the shelf as she walked by her hopefully unnoticed. Emma called out to her, as soon as she turned around, Success she lamented as the blonde waved happily, "Darcy Edwards?"

"Emma Nelson!" She answered pretending to be surprised, she removed her sunglasses and she put them on her head.

"How are you?" Emma asked curiously, "Back for good?"

"I'm doing good, and of course. Sure, Kenya was great but I needed to go home. I can't complain."

"You just missed Manny, she was in town up until yesterday. She would've loved to see you." Emma told her adjusting the strap on her shopping bag on her arm.

"I did? Well when you talk to her, let her know I said hi."

"What have you been doing?" Emma asked curiously.

"I just got back in early December. And well been spending time with my boyfriend, I was just sick recently but I feel a lot better and I live with my dad now . . . things are going okay."

"That's good to hear. I heard in the paper about Clare. I offer my prayers."

"Yeah . . . " Darcy trailed off awkwardly.

"I know what it's like to have a family member suffer at the hands of cancer."

"The good news is, the therapy is working. She did lose her hair but she looks good. I got her a few wigs. She said she wanted them to be fun. I got her a pink and a dark brown one. Mom got her the blonde wig. We got them styled by your mom, actually."

"Wow that's great. I didn't know that."

"Yeah, great." Darcy said awkwardly her hand hurting from hiding the test behind her back. She couldn't let Emma know she was possibly pregnant. Then she would ask who the father is, what he's like and that is not the conversation she wanted to have. She didn't even know that things were peachy keen when Emma went from Emma Nelson to Emma Mason and then back again.

"Well, I have to go I just needed to pick up some food and I don't want them to wake up without food. I had no idea my friends were spending the night." Emma snickered as she walked away to another area of the store. Darcy threw the pregnancy test, the only thing she was looking to buy before making her way to the check out. Of course the line was long, which made matters worse. Darcy stuffed the test in her basket, the only thing she bought.

Finally after about ten minutes in line, she walked up the to the person and put the test on the counter, she anxiously waited for them to put it into the bag as she paid with her card swiping it without making eye contact or hopefully Emma didn't see what she had bought before dashing out of the store homeward bound.

Darcy rushed her way to the mall in the next few streets over making a b-line to the bathrooms and fortunately for her was nobody inside. She whispered to herself, "Super!" She opened up the test and followed the directions. She waited around in the stall for the results for the time allotted. She was tense. Earlier this morning, was that a sign? She had to know. She thought to herself, what if it's positive? What if it's negative? Either way, she and Spinner had been careful, they'd used protection, how could this be? On the other hand, only abstaining was the only surefire way.

She looked down, as she saw the image manifest she gasped in surprise, the test was positive. She shook it, saw in a movie before but the result was the same. She opened up the other test, she had come prepared with two and she did the same thing but that too came up positive.

Suddenly her mind was polluted as she sat on the toilet in the public stall, things were going so well, what was her dad going to say? What about Spinner? It couldn't have been a more confusing time for them and now, add a baby in the mix? Was it a false positive? She had so many questions, but she had to head on home. She threw the test in her purse as she flushed pretending she was just in the bathroom and walked out to go back home to tell Spinner the news. She entered the house removing her coat and keeping her purse on her as she had the test inside tucked away, "I have news!"

Before she could speak, "Darcy, I got a job, with your dad. What about your news?"

"Th-that's wonderful!" She exclaimed throwing her arms around him, she smiled looking up at him, "Do you remember last month when we uh . . had sex?"

"Yeah? Why?" He asked not understanding what she was getting at, "It was fun, no?"

She bit her lip nervously looking down before looking back up at him, pulling the test out of her bag, "I think you uh you're going to be a daddy."

"Really?" He said, sounding delighted, "That's also amazing."

"Really?" She asked confusedly, "You're happy?"

"Of course I am. I've always wanted children."

"We didn't plan for it . . at least you have the job." Darcy replied beaming matter of factually, "I know it's not going to be easy, I could find work perhaps and - "

"No you won't. I want to support you." Spinner answered confidently, "This job is really good. I could afford it. Of course, budgeting is important. I grew up with couponing, budgeting - sure it takes discipline but it pays off. Sometimes if you have extra savings you could do something awesome like a vacation because you saved so well all year-long!"

"That sounds awesome."

"It is. Gosh, I am so happy." He exclaimed excitedly, "I wish I was in touch with Jay, he would be happy for me."

"I saw uh . . Emma Nelson at the drugstore today, you remember her right?"

Spinner's celebration faded as his face went from a smile to a straight face as he fell back onto the couch deflated, "What did she say?"

"Nothing, we just shot the shit." Darcy replied seating herself next to him, her purse on the floor, "She didn't have much to say, small talk. Rumor has it, Sean Cameron is back in town, I know that look she had it." She snickered, "That glow."

"I remember her alright." Spinner muttered sarcastically, sighing, "I didn't tell you this?"

"Tell me what?"

"I guess since everythings being laid out, Emma's my ex-wife."

"The ex-wife?" Darcy questioned furrowing her brow, she was the opposite of upset, in fact she was relieved he came clean. "Really? I didn't know she was your type."

"I have a type?"

"Well, yeah. Cheerleaders, duh. You dated Paige Michalchuck, me and Manny Santos. And Emma Nelson never fit in the criteria."

"Emma was different I guess, "

"I'll say." Darcy rolled her eyes expressively.

After college she was a bit more . . I don't know. Open minded. I guess I wouldn't have looked at her in high school, she was different she's different. I haven't really talked much about her."

"What were you two like together? Different."

"Stop." He playfully shoved her thinking hard about how he was going to prose the story, "You remember Jane, right?" He asked looking at her, "Let's just say after you left things didn't work out. Of course, Jane knew this before I did. She slept with this new guy at school after I graduated. He was rich and stuff, I couldn't really compete."

"She didn't . . ."

"Yeah. She did. I didn't find out until we were making our future plans together that she would be at Stanford and I would be here and we were going to try to make things work. And then, I overheard Jane talking to Holly J about her fling with that guy and shit hit the fan in really shitty way - and how things had worked out because it never came up. She didn't bother to be honest with me, she was probably going to take it to the grave if I didn't show up. Of course it'd never be the same and that's probably why she didn't come clean before, she knew somehow it'll never be the same. I went ape. I decked him right in the face, fucked up his eye. I don't know." Spinner said shaking his head, "And I didn't talk to Holly J until like Christmastime with you, almost four years later. I couldn't take back punching her boyfriend in the face."

"How does Emma fall into this equation?"

"Jay's girlfriend, Manny came back to town."

"Manny?!" She asked excitedly clapping her hands.

"Yeah, Manny came back to town and they took me out to try to cheer me up. Emma, Manny me and Jay. I had seen a lot of Emma because she had come home from college on some odd biking excursion with her college boyfriend - but they had broken up." Darcy chuckled, "I didn't know this but, Emma thought he vegged out like she did and turns out it was like this huge front. We had two real burgers together, because you know how I make good burgers?"

"Well of course, you're Spinner you practically lived at The Dot back in the day."

"Before that, I fucking get back from that party where I decked that guy and The Dot is fucking on fire. Apparently Emma said Manny asked for a Panini and I had literally just hired Emma and Emma managed to burn the whole effing place down while I was gone. I told her before I left, whatever you do not under any circumstances touch the Paninimaker because it's faulty. Everyone knew that. Evidently not her, Manny blamed herself to this day though."

"Holy crap, no wonder it looks so different in there."

"We re-did the place, it looked great. Peter helped out. It was all good."

"How is he?" She asked making a face.

"Hell if I know, I haven't talked to Peter in years. He moved away to take care of his grandmother."

Darcy snickered, "So he wound up in Regina after all."

"Yeah, she wasn't doing well seriously declining and at that point me and Emma were failing and he bounced which was really bad for business but we were understanding, the both of us." Spinner sighed, "We went out to Niagara Falls to the casino and Emma was doing really well. When we were up we were up. She found this really hot table for blackjack and last I remember before we were just making money left and right. She was teaching me. I would love to know where she got that skill." Spinner retold the story, "I wake up the next morning, she's got a ring she's still wearing her wedding veil and we're naked in bed. I have no memory of how we got from that table. We ended up finding out we got married at this chapel there and shit."

"What happened after?"

"We tried to make it work, give it the old college try." He answered awkwardly, "And then we thought, maybe we should annul because we didn't intend it. She was a mess because she had all these expectations of marriage and how things are supposed to go. She wanted to remember not forget. We were drinking a lot. A lot a lot. We ultimately decided to stay married, because . . . we thought it'd be good, I mean it was a brand new start. Ready made romance but we were so wrapped up in it for a while. I didn't know her, she didn't know me - our prior baggage I thought wouldn't be an issue. I was wrong about that though. Now we're divorced. Six months later homeless on the street and now here I am. Gonna be father."

"What played a role? You weren't clear."

"I had a lot of trust issues going into it, we stayed married for the wrong reasons. It honestly, went on longer than intended. We pretended ignored and didn't talk about things. We handled it bad. I thought because she was new she'd be unbiased and I'd be unbiased. We argued all the time, she got really depressed because I didn't trust her. We were awful together. We really were. I don't regret divorce, because it was the right thing for us. Nothing to do with you, I'm so glad I met you, but with Emma - she had already been broken down before by a relationship and she wasn't ready to close that book. I didn't want her to hurt, like I hurt her with my insecurities. And then I went off the grid so to speak."

"And that's where I found you." Darcy answered, offering a smile.

"And I'm so very glad you didn't write me off." He replied smiling too happily, he took her hands in his, "I love you. I don't want to rush into anything. I don't want us to be ruined." He squeezed her hands tightly, "We're going to take it one step at a time. Just you and I. I have nothing to hide. I just told you about my failures! You didn't move." He bit his lip, "You don't judge me. Perhaps you were my meant to be all along and I almost lost you forever. You were there during all of my pitfalls and you didn't leave me. I know what it feels like to lose you and I don't want to." He shook his head, "Never again."

"I love you Spinner." She whispered, as she didn't let go.

"And I love you, Darce. We're going to get through this. I promise you." Darcy began to cry a little bit, she had never expected to be an unwed mother, however with Spinner by her side married or not it was better for the both of them. They were much too young to tie the knot even if Spinner had in the past and it was full of confusions and complications and they were both afraid for that negativity to dominate their relationship.

"I'm sorry." She winced.

"What is it, baby?" He asked, shushing her, drying her tears with his hand as he sat next to her on the sofa, his hands tightly squeezing hers showing her his undying support, "No I refuse to let you sit her and cry. This is good news."

"I'm just afraid, of what my dad might say." She answered sadly, looking up at him offering her best smile, "I couldn't be happier because I know it's somebody that I love, and I know we arguably move swiftly but -"

"What is the worst?"

She shrugged at first silently wondering to herself was she simply being hormonal or overly afraid? After all, she was twenty-three finished with secondary education. She was in the eyes of the law absolutely an adult. She remained looking downcast in thought, shrouded in silence eyeing at his hands holding hers, "I don't know. This has never happened to me before. I think he has expectations of me and I'd disappoint him for sure."

"Perhaps not, perhaps he'd be happy to be a grandfather." He offered, attempting to lighten up the somber mood.

"I don't know," She sniffled, avoiding his eyes, "I had always . . . sort of looked down on people for making those decisions. I feel like a hypocrite."

"Don't I know that."

"To have babies before marriage, Gosh I just never imagined that." She replied completing her thought, "And it's not that I don't want to get married to you, because I do, I'd love to if it was easy I would but I want to do it right. In due time, in the right time where we both know it's going to last. I want to slow down and settle down."

"Of course it will last, I don't want anyone else. I'm going to be a father I-"

"That's what I was thinking, I couldn't put you through that."

"Darcy, there's no one else." He repeated, "It's you and our family this is what I wanted. I couldn't be happier."

"We will probably have to start looking for a place of our own." She answered sheepishly, beaming shaking her head at their living situation, "This condo doesn't have room for a nursery."

"And that's our order of business. You don't worry your pretty little head about it." He sighed, shaking his head, "You just relax. Leave everything to me."

"You're so wonderful, Spinner." Darcy blushed grinning from ear to ear, her tear-stained face still flecked with a few tears she let go of his hands and wiped her cheek, sniffling again, "I mean it, I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. He leaned closer as he pulled her toward him into a hug, her head rested by his heart, "I don't care what we have. Boy or a girl. What do you want, baby?"

She rested her head nestling herself tighter in his chest beaming, "If I say a girl, you get gray hair."

"What about a boy?" Spinner asked confidently, "What about names?"

"That'll be the best part." She whispered.

"Then I say it doesn't matter."

"I can't wait until we find out either way, it'll be amazing." She excitedly replied.

. .

Craig Manning awoke in his hotel room he had slept most of the day away, he turned around to spoon Manny but he felt a cool spot beside him. He fluttered open his green eyes and noticed Manny wasn't beside him, her body replaced with a note on the pillow that he nearly crumpled when he turned around. He reluctantly picked it up it was a folded piece of paper from the desk in the room with his name scrawled on the top. He could tell within the thin paper that there was a letter, her hand writing urgent and it still smelled just like her. Like strawberries and cream, the body lotion she would wear which was sold at Victoria Secret. His heart sank, this wasn't good news. It surely was a letter from her, and it was her handwriting. In that moment his worst fears were realized.

Craig - -

I had to go back home to basically figure out things, I'm starting filming in a few days and I need to prepare for my role, read through my scripts and some other work related obligations like press junkets and other things. I can't be thinking about this while I'm working. I can't make you wait for me, the holiday's were fun, you were great but I need to break ties at least for now. It's for the best. Do not follow me. Don't look for me and please don't call me. I will come back for you in due time even if it's not physically or tangibly. I will find a way to reach you. I am so sorry for wasting your time please don't hate me I need to do this on my own. You have to understand I can't trust you or let you in all the way. I'd be lying if I told you I could push past things. I can't keep my dignity I just needed to know if the grass was greener on the other side. It wasn't.

I wish I could forgive you, it hurts me more than you'll know. Just because I'm going away doesn't mean I don't love you or wish my heart could forgive you. I made a mistake when I accepted you and I was insincere. I didn't like the person I was turning into. Losing myself isn't worth having a second chance and that's because no matter how many times you've apologized to me for the things that happened in our past

I was foolish to think having you back in my life, after so many years of missing you would make all of that disappear.

I got the wrong idea and for that I hope I didn't mess up your head with false promises. I will always love you please don't think I don't. I will come to you, when I'm ready and on my own terms. And if I don't keep my promise I know that someday, somewhere and somehow you will find a girl or perhaps I'm just being me and I'll be back around someday. I don't know. You'll just have to wait and see. Get out there, do what you do best. Don't spoil your life by being alone. You deserve a life with people and to stop living in the past.

Right now, in my life I need to be single. I need structure. I need my time, my love between me myself and I. Can you imagine us in some high-profile relationship, red carpets and premieres? Wouldn't this be worse if we had to handle it with the cameras? I can't and that's scary. I don't want to keep you my dirty little secret either, I wish I could show the whole world how I feel about you but I don't know if those feelings would stick. I'm very impulsive and you bring that out in me. It's just not in the cards. I can't ignore the past, I tried to you broke my heart and this time I've done a number on mine by going back to you. All you've ever brought me was regrets and I can't live with that. Perhaps I thought my feelings had something to do with how I see myself.

I have a flight tonight. I've made up my mind don't you dare disregard this letter and meet me back home. Please, hear me out. If you love me like you say you do, let me go. Just don't put all your eggs in one basket I'm not the one, not for you, not for anyone. I thought the ache in my heart, I mistook that for love in the truest form, and that's not a love at all. Goodbye. All my love - Manny

He whispered instantly to himself when he finished reading the note in silence for the first three times, "No!" He dropped the letter back on the bed, shaking his head, refusing to believe it, "Fuck!"

He covered his eyes cupping his face in his hands, he couldn't believe it, he never felt so foolish. He should've seen it coming, and he couldn't see the signs he was blind to it. He really thought it was happening for them, and it was all too real to ignore, "

He had remembered where Emma had lived based on Emma's description, he got on the first cab in front of the hotel and made his way to Emma's. He managed to catch Emma in front of the pharmacy and he begged the cabby to stop there instead, throwing him a wad of crumbled bills as he dashed to meet her on the street. He was frantic as he jogged, but finally, he opened up his mouth to say the words, "Emma! Emma!"

Emma heard her name called by a familiar voice, she whipped her head around to face him, "Craig! I'm honestly a little surprised to see you."

"Did you know about this?" He asked holding up the note in his hands he put it close to her face he was standing stock still. She was afraid to answer the question yes or no in fear of what he would say next. Craig was eccentric. It could be a trick question. She shrugged, "I don't know about this note. She's gone, Craig. She left late last night. She came in to my place last night to pack up."

"She told me alright, in this note." Craig muttered shaking his head, "I love her, Emma. I do. Could you imagine the fright that came over me when I got this first thing?"

"Does she love you?"

"Read it for yourself, and weep." The tall, dark-haired rocker passed the note her way. He was so disheveled looking with a plain white tee-shirt, a black dress jacket and a pair of jeans, he had bed head as if he had just found this note. He hadn't stopped to bathe to drink a coffee, there were dark circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep or the lapse of time between sleep. Craig at least had his sobriety that never managed to change but with Manny's revelation, it was highly possible he could regress into old habits. Emma was a quick reader, she quickly read the letter in her head and gasped, it was heartbreaking and it wasn't even addressed to her. She looked at him and offered him a sheepish smile.

"I'm so sorry, Craig." Emma bit her lip as she finished the letter, looking up at him as he covered his eyes stamping his feet angrily, "Come here."

She offered him a friendly hug as she wrapped her arms around him and gave him a tight squeeze. He surrendered although his heart was breaking his voice was breaking as he asked her, "Let me guess, she's not over Jay."

"What makes you say that?" Emma asked, pulling away it was unknown to her of the status of her romantic entanglements.

"She dropped some hints the other day when she was in bed with me."

"Too much information, Craig!" Emma jabbed his arm recoiling. She managed to get a smile out of her.

"Well at least I know my mind isn't perpetually in the gutter."

"Still, it's you, after all."

"We're cuddling after we hooked up and she was withdrawn, quiet, it was like pulling teeth for her to even talk about anything with me." Craig sighed, "I didn't want to pry. We weren't even actually together yet. Nothing was set in stone, we were taking it slow. We were working on things, you know taking it slow because there'd been so many things that had happened between us over the years. I wanted to be on the same page. Do it right this time. I was trying to be a gentleman, listen as opposed to tell her what to do. I wanted to do it right, I didn't want to let her down. I failed her! I'm so stupid!"

"You're not stupid, Craig." Emma sighed, "Why don't you come in, my place is a mess but Sean is there and I'm sure he'd love to see you. Maybe not because of Jay being there and -"

"I don't think that's such a good idea." He made somewhat of a face, "Jay is there."

"Oh, right." Emma clicked her tongue understanding the awkward ground that would be with both in the same room, "I understand. Sean would like to see you. When you guys were hooking up and all, Sean really wanted to see you again and he just so happens to be over."

"Bring him out?"

"He's asleep, as far as I know. I've been in the store awhile. You don't have to stay long. I'll put a cup of coffee on I promise it'll be fun."

"You drive a hard bargain, Emma Nelson." He said pondering the idea of coming face to face with the other guy.

"Well what can I say? Anything for a friend." Emma beamed, "Even if you didn't think I was there for you, I am despite everything. I may not agree with everything you do but I do agree that you have to face things head on."

"That means a lot. It gets lonely in the hotel rooms. Temptation, friendship could be good for me."

"Glad to hear it." Emma was ready to link arms with Craig, he followed suit as they made their way to Emma's apartment to join everyone in the mid-morning rituals in her apartment.

"I just . . I can't live without her." Craig says heartbroken as they enter the doorway unseen and unheard as the front door of the lobby closed behind them.