Chapter 34

The Kids from Yesterday

When Jay returned home to get ready for the party he found a note on the kitchen table next to the ashtray. It was from Alex. It read:

Jay,

Going to visit my mom to say goodbye. Don't send out a search party - I'm fine.

- Lexxi

He smirked and put down the note and then sat down at the table to smoke a cigarette. He held the cig to his lips and lit it. He needed one after the confrontation with Craig earlier that day at the garage. Moments later Alex entered the house and kitchen and sat beside him. "Hey."

"Oh hey, how long were you at your moms?"

"She insisted on making me something to eat so about an hour."

"Did you tell her I said hello?" Jay asked. Alex nodded noticing Jay was somewhat out of sorts, but then Jay beat her to the punch, "So Craig stopped by the garage today."

"Manning?" Alex scoffed, "what he have to say?"

"He basically tells me that I'm not good enough for Manny and that she really loves him some bull shit like that."

"What did you say to him?"

"Pussy ran off not long after saying that, I guess he just wanted to get under my skin and get me doubt our relationship and everything. I mean I know they hooked up when we broke up but he's deluded if he thinks that I'm giving up on Manny. I mean he really did a number on her in high school, Lex. It took me a long time to get her to trust me."

"I mean I heard some rumors but I really didn't roll with their crowd."

"I don't know, he broke her heart pretty bad. He then became addicted to cocaine he probably cheated on her and then he moved out to LA doing God knows what to God knows who. I mean he was a huge player in high school. He did nothing but disappoint her and she really loved him you know? So now he thinks that now that he's 'better' or whatever that Manny and him can be a thing - he's got another thing coming."

"What is your plan?"

"I want to propose."

Alex was taken back, "That's pretty drastic."

"I want to spend my life with this girl, I've invested so much time and love and I know the feeling is mutual. I'd never do her wrong like Craig did so many times. I know that this time it's for real."

"Oh, like your fake marriage?"

"Shut up!" Jay exclaimed amused recovering from laughter, "It's something I'm dead serious about."

"What if she says no?"

"I don't think this is a possibility."

"You've got to be prepared, Jay."

"I just don't think she'd say no."

"I hope you're right."

"Trust me. I'm right." Alex stated as she took a drag from her cigarette and blew out some smoke, "Remember when we were together?"

"Of course I do."

"How often was I right about things?"

"Pretty damn often."

Flashback to 2003 when they first got together romantically Jay drove her around for several hours because Alex was stalling coming home for reasons she never really disclosed. She kept asking him for five more, ten more minutes. When they were alone together they were different than that couple always making out in the hallways they had conversations that most kids never had to deal with. Finally, Jay decided he was going to be the one who asks, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why won't you let me take you home?"

"You want to know, Jay? Because I don't know what's going to happen, I don't know what I'm going home to. At least you know you're going to have an empty house with a refrigerator of beers because you live alone! But me? I don't know what I'm going to see when I come through that door. Do I have to take care of my mom? Do I have to fight off Chad? Will there be comfortable or uncomfortable silence? I don't know. I'm scared, Jay. Do you know what that feels like? I'm honestly too scared to go home."

"Lexxi . . "

"I hate it when you say it in that tone." Alex shook her head, "I wish I never said that."

"Why?"

"I just hate thinking about that stuff when I'm with you. You help me forget, until now when I know I gotta go and then I get scared because there's been nights like this where I come home to chaos."

"Does your mom and her boyfriend fight?"

Alex nodded and hesitated to answer, "Something like that," She pauses, "only it's worse. It's all they ever seem to do. Sometimes it's violent, a lot of times and I'm afraid one day I'm going to walk in and find out Chad's beaten her to death or something." Jay looked at her sympathetically, "Don't look at me like that. Why did I just tell you that?"

"You know I care about you. You can stay at my house if you want tonight."

Back to reality, Jay and Alex continue to sit at the table. He asks her, "Remember when we used to be all into cars together. We'd steal shit to service our cars. We were such bad kids."

"Yeah we were." Alex beamed, "remember we used to race?"

"Until Sean got popped because he hit a guy."

"I don't remember that."

"Ah you weren't there. Poindexter wanted to race -"

"Emma's boyfriend, Poindexter?"

"The very one."

"I remember Sean got arrested I just didn't know what for."

"Yeah, then we stopped because we got kind of scared."

"I'm kind of excited about this new chapter in our lives though, ones where we're not you know, the 'bad kids'." Alex used some air quotes for the last word.

"So am I but I never saw ourselves as that."

"Please Jay, we were a walking gangsta cliche."

Jay laughed out loud, shaking his head, "I guess, I mean I was always in the principal's office and always in trouble."

"That you were, not to mention you got expelled."

"So maybe we were the bad kids." They both laughed and continued reminiscing.

x -

Later on, Sean and Emma were preparing for what they need for the party. They decided to invite Spinner and Darcy, Manny is coming, Jay would be happy to see Spinner and Alex is coming as well. Emma thought it'd be best if they didn't invite Craig because of Manny's recent past with him wouldn't bode over well with Jay. They listed some things they'd need to go to the store for like for instance candy, some cake, snacks like cheese doodles, pretzels, potato chips, Sean said he has a recipe for guacamole so they'll definitely need some tortilla chips, beer, some stuff for mixed drinks. Emma suggested she'll bring some treats from The Dot cupcakes, finger sandwiches and paninis and other stuff. Sean watched Emma as she jotted down the last of the list, she noticed this and looked up, "What? Is there something else?"

He shook his head, "No, I just was observing how beautiful you look."

A smile played on Emma's lips, "Oh you." It seemed he was able to make her melt with all his compliments.

He smiled too, she broke away from the list, walked over his way and pulled him close, "Remember when I got drunk at Jimmy's and then I felt like you were never gonna wanna see me again?"

She nods, "But it was the opposite."

Flashback to 2002, Emma and Sean were sitting by the lockers after homeroom. In fact, they were late. She would never regret breaking her perfect attendance for some time with him though. It's when he confessed that he liked her. Really liked her. So much so that he doubted that he was was good enough for her. Sean gazed at her meaningfully after he confessed what he's wanted to say for so long, even though he felt more than just liking her. She put her hand out and crawled her fingers so that they met his. He took her hand in his, he whispered, "I really like you, Em."

"So do I, I mean I like really like you too - a lot, Sean."

Back to reality Emma beamed as she reminisced, "And then we walked to class together hand in hand."

"I remember never thinking I was enough, because of how I grew up and how great you had it."

"Sean, you'll always be enough, you're amazing."

"How so?"

"Well, you just are. I'm just so happy when I'm with you." She shook her head as she thought there was a time they were apart, "I don't want us to ever be apart again. I missed you when you were gone. In fact, I used to write you letters, letters that I never sent. There's box under my bed and -"

"You mean you tried to write me? That's sweet of you. That there were other letters."

She nodded her head, she blinked, "It broke my heart that you left because I thought I wasn't enough for you and then I felt selfish because it wasn't about me I guess. So I let you go and I didn't really want to but I didn't want you to feel obligated to me at the time. So I wrote you letters every week, and then I was too afraid to send them so I kept them in hopes that someday we'd meet again and we'd get to be like this and I guess now would be the time where you'd want to read them."

"I don't have to. I have you here."

Emma beamed as they kissed tenderly by the kitchen counter. When they both came up for air they just looked into each other's eyes, Sean spoke, "You're beautiful."

"You're sweet, Sean."

"I mean it, you're the most beautiful girl with the most beautiful eyes."

"I think mine pale in comparison to your eyes that sometimes look like they're teal or turquoise."

"I'm so glad you're in my life." Sean smiled as he confessed, "I'm so glad I know you. I'm so glad I date you."

"Shall we get back to the list?" Emma asked curiously.

"Yes." He replied as they continued writing things down that they'd need for the party, "how about balloons?"

"And a banner that says Goodbye Alex and Jay!"

"Good thinking, how about confetti for when they walk in?"

"Too much to clean up." Emma mutters as she tries to think, she taps the pencil against the notebook with her right hand, "what sodas should we get?"

"Jay likes Sprite."

"Okay so," Emma writes down, Sprite, Coca Cola, Ginger Ale helps with hangovers . . . "

"Yeah! I think we've got it all."

Emma rips the paper out of the notebook, "I think so too. I'm so excited! Let's go!""