That nap was not long enough.
What I really needed was a thirty-hour nap instead of a thirty-minute one.
With a luxurious hot bubble bath beforehand.
Perhaps scented with rose petals and fragrant oils.
Oh, to be a pampered cat ...
Most cats sleep between twelve and eighteen hours a day.
Some cats sleep for even longer.
Well, after this Festival is over, I will demand my thirty-hour nap from Shigaraki and Kurogiri.
I will deserve that much after exceeding my mental and physical capabilities beyond the point of exhaustion.
Speaking of exhaustion ...
The final event of the Sports Festival is announced. As anticipated, it is the one-on-one battle. Midnight-sensei explains that she will create combat pairs via lottery. After that will be the optional recreational games, which I certainly do not intend to partake in. I tilt my head to the sides, listening to my facet joints crack, wondering if I can spare another few minutes for a second nap, just as Ojiro-san raises his hand to declare that he will be opting out of the event.
My head immediately swerves in his direction, and I ignore the wincing pop that follows. The others are just as shocked. He was my teammate during the cavalry battle, so what happened? No. I have an idea of what happened. Ojiro-san claims that he does not remember what happened during the cavalry battle because of Shinsou-san's quirk, who looks in the other direction when his name is mentioned. Then he continues about he feels that it would wrong to compete with the others without comprehending how he qualified. My other teammate, his name I do not know, follows Ojiro-san's footsteps and also abstains.
Internally, I frown. How magnanimous! Their conscience is greater than mine. I did not even contemplate passing up an opportunity like this, even though I let myself be used. Selfish me. Well, good for them and their righteous souls. I am in no position to afford the same.
Midnight-sensei very enthusiastically accepts their rejections and proceeds to call for the team who ranked in the fifth place to participate. That team turns out to be just as upright and passes their chance to the sixth place team. The boy with the steel quirk takes the open spot.
With no more virtuous students opting out, Sensei declares the combat pairs. I'm paired with Kaminari-san for the first round. He's not bad, but I really wanted to face off against Shinsou-san. Apparently he is with Midoriya-san, Bakugou-san with Uraraka-san, and Todoroki-kun with Sero-san. If I win the first round, then I will face off against either Iida-san or Hatsume-san. Hatsume-san is the inventive pink-haired girl.
After the conversation I eavesdropped on earlier and the series of war declarations, the organization of pairs does not seem so random. Perhaps it is just my paranoia playing with my thoughts.
Either way, I am glad when Sensei dismisses us. I snatch this opportunity to search for the gazebo. When I get there, I promptly remove my socks and shoes. Lying on the dock and steadily swishing my feet through the pond water, I try to take a nap.
But curse my luck, sleep does not come!
All feelings of relaxation and elation are replaced with vexation and irritation. I take this time to reflect on the things I had heard.
Let's focus on Midoriya-san first.
There is no doubt about it now. He and All Might share the same quirk, and both of them know it. That overwhelming power I had absorbed during the Apprehension Test was from Midoriya-san, and that's why I did not feel anything from All Might when I faced him in the Mock Battle. The question is, what exactly is their relationship and how was the quirk shared. Midoriya-san has made it clear that he and All Might do not share a father-son relationship. I was correct in dismissing the legitimate or illegitimate child theory from the start. But that still leaves a variety of possibilities. Are they grandfather-grandson? No, All Might is almost 50. If he had a grandson, then he would be at most a young child, not a teenager. Are they uncle-nephew? That is more likely. The only way quirks are inherited is through sharing the same bloodline. At least that's what we're taught. Is there another way quirks can be inherited ... ? Don't be ridiculous, Selene. You're overthinking it.
But there's also the matter of how good both of them are at using that quirk. All Might is a professional, while Midoriya-san is like a novice. All Might has a good grasp of his quirk, that's why he is Japan's Number One Hero. But Midoriya-san? According to the rumors, he had badly broken the bones in his appendages; during the Apprehension Test, he broke his finger; Recovery Girl had told me that he broke his arms after the U.S.J. incident. Now, he refrained from using quirk during the obstacle course, only to use a smidgen of it at the end of the cavalry battle when charging toward Todoroki-kun, as if he knew he was bound to injure immensely if he were to use it. Quirks manifest by the age of four, so at his age, Midoriya-san should have had plenty of experience to keep it under control. However, he doesn't.
Then there is what Bakugou-san had said during the Test and Battle. He was implying something. But what?
Having all these questions storming in my head but having the answers to none of them only vexes me further. On top of that, I cannot even test this absurd power for myself. When I had absorbed it, I had nearly died. Who knows what will happen if I use a portion of it?
Regardless, this is useful information to give to Shigaraki. All for One seems to be a very old acquaintance of All Might, though acquaintance is putting it kindly. Anyway, he might be able to provide more insight on this matter.
Having analyzed enough of Midoriya-san, I shift my train of thoughts to someone else.
Now, Todoroki-kun.
Where should I even start?
I suppose I feel partly hurt that he told his tale of trauma to someone else instead of me, and that I had to hear it by eavesdropping. But I have no right to feel hurt. It is his choice who he tells it to. In all honesty, I'm the one at fault at here.
However, I know his story now. There is no changing that.
I don't pity him, but I do understand him.
Because in many ways, we're the same.
Why he hates his father, why he wants to separate himself from his father's image, why he avoids using his fire quirk, it all makes sense. Truly, I cannot tell which one of us has the worst father figure. Mine turned me into a prostitute; his turned him into a wounded and lost boy. According to Todoroki-kun, not only did his father abuse him, he abused his mother as well. Her mental stability deteriorated to the point where she harmed her own son. And my rotten father corrupted his sons to turn into a monster just like him.
But in so many ways, we're different.
Todoroki-kun used his trauma to become a worthy hero. He's rebelling against his father, his past, by forging his own path in this cruel world. What am I doing? I'm rebelling against mine by killing off each of the men he had a partnership with. I'm using my trauma to concoct a plan to ultimately kill my father, slowly giving in to the madness. Whatever Todoroki-kun is doing, he is doing in broad daylight, unabashed, unafraid. And I'm such a coward that I use the cover of the night to spill blood.
I am his dark mirror.
Our lives run in parallels because we each made different choices.
His will make him a hero.
Mine will make me a monster.
My father and his sons are not the only monsters.
I am.
I sigh in resignation.
We are all someone's monster.
Being a monster was my calling.
Those words of a vow made what seems like ages ago rings in my head, clear like bells.
If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse.
Shigaraki, Kurogiri, and All for One know of my monstrosities.
When everyone knows you're a monster, you needn't waste time doing every monstrous thing.
Hanada-sama and his sons will learn to fear me.
But will Todoroki-kun fear me, too?
The idea is terrifying.
No.
He won't.
I'll make sure of it.
He'll never find out.
I will keep these secrets with me even when I am nothing but ashes.
Citations:
"We are all someone's monster." - Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo
"Being a monster was my calling." - The Cruel Prince by Holly Black
"If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse." - The Cruel Prince by Holly Black
"When everyone knows you're a monster, you needn't waste time doing every monstrous thing." - Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo.