Disclaimer: I don't own Blackadder or anything to do with it : (
Thanks every1 for ur reviews, keep reading, any criticism is welcome : )
Darling had come to the conclusion that General Melchett was an idiot. Not only that- he was an evil, selfish, cowardly idiot; and after all the time he and Darling had spent together- all the time Darling had spent slaving for him- he was still sent to his death. Melchett didn't care if Darling was laying dead on the battlefield by the next morning. He didn't care if he was blown to pieces by a shell, he didn't care if he had a bullet embedded in his skull and he didn't care if he died out of pure fear. All Melchett cared about was making sure that at the end of the war, he was still alive. When Darling had realised that, his whole world seemed to crumble, and the last three years licking Melchett's boots suddenly seemed such a waste.
All he could write in his diary was "bugger." It was a small, common word, and yet it was all he could think to write. There was no way he could express his feelings of utter terror with words, so he wrote the first thing that came to mind. He had wanted so much to just marry Doris and have a family. It would have been so plain, so simple, so- him. He was caught up in something that was just too big for him. Too big for any of them. He was out of his depth. As it turned out, in the end, he wouldn't have had a choice about joining the war anyway- but maybe he would have had a fighting chance.
What's more, the people he had to die with hated him. He was completely alone in a group of people who had spent the same last three years as comrades, as friends, as family even. They hated him because they thought that he was the coward for trying to save his life. Then again, he had tried countless times to force them over the top. Maybe he was the selfish idiot; trying to force something on them that he knew nothing about- something he couldn't comprehend. He wanted to wonder what would happen; whether he might survive somehow, or whether he was right and he would die, or be blinded, or deafened and the rest of his life would be ruined. It became too painful in the end.
"I'm scared sir." Perhaps he wasn't quite alone as he had thought.
Soz but experiencing sum serious writers block so the next chapter mite not be up 4 a while:(