Chapter 51

Life is a (Shit) Show

"I won't kill you!"

Manny dropped the gun but Craig caught it he threw her into his arms and faced the mirror. "Let me go." she whispered after swallowing hard they were standing there in front of the mirror he had her in somewhat of a chokehold and a gun braised against her head. If she moved it'd be over. She simply wanted to live. She had so much to live for friends and family alike but also to see him through. Craig was a talent, he was charming and most of all deep down in her heart she loved this guy. If he went down for her murder, and that's a big if his life would be absolutely ruined. He didn't want to kill her and she knew this. "You're not a violent person, Craig."

He got angry, but she knew he'd never hurt her. He tightened his grip on her white evening gown. He simply shouted and she was less convinced of her deep seated thoughts, "Don't tell me what I am!"

"Okay, I'm sorry, so sorry Craig." She said with a voice of compassion closing her eyes. She had an idea, she hoped it'd work, "Can we sit down?"

She sat on his lap when he sat down, he kept the gun tight against her temple and his grip on her. She turned her head toward him as he asked, "Why are you doing this?"

"We're meant to be together. Can't you see it?" Manny didn't want to disagree nor agree. She was simply scared. She had to sell this to make him stop this, snap out of this obsession. They sat there in silence for a few moments.

Manny's voice cracked, tears in her eyes she asked him, "Haven't you given any thoughts to your future?"

"I don't know anymore." He said doubtfully shaking her head. "I didn't think that far ahead."

"Thong girl, wrong girl.' She whispered in a sing song kind of way before straightening up, "you don't need me."

"You were the one though, Manny. You're the one who got away. I was angry with you, it doesn't distract me from the fact that we are meant its just facts now. Jay? Jay Hogart are you for real? He can't compete with our love, Manny." His lips were blue, he was cold it was cold in this hotel room. She saw the empty bottles that littered the room, and she realized he hadn't been sober in a long time. She didn't dare ask him if he took his medications.

"I don't think you understand, Craig -"

"This is why I want you to kill me. I can't go on without you."

"Craig . . . I can't kill you."

"Can't you see I'm in love with you?" He exclaimed in question, "I just want us to be happy together."

"If I kill you it'd be like some Romeo and Juliet shit - you know how cheap that is?! What about Joey o-or Angie what would she say if she found out about this? They'd be destroyed. What about Sean? What about Emma or anyone you ever cared about? Your life matters Craig, I'm just a girl. I'm just Manny Santos the girl you dumped in 8th grade. You'll meet another me and when you do - it'll be beautiful. We weren't special Craig - we were built to fail. I loved you, hell I still love you and I want you to get out of this safe. I promise if I don't kill you you'll have a life outside of this that will be wonderful."

"I don't deserve it."

"I don't care."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I won't press charges. You need to go. There's no ulterior motives, there's no cop outside. Call Joey and Angela - they miss you." Manny added, "now give me the gun."

Craig hesitated before removing the gun from her temple and dropping the gun into Manny's hands. She put the gun in her dress and pushed him out the door and then she emerged from the hotel room. Craig simply watched her walk away, he didn't say a word.

She silently threw the gun in a waste basket he didn't do a thing, he just stayed still and she slowly made her way to the ballroom down the steps as Jay waited for her. She looked all sorts of disheveled as she pulled him close as tears fell down her face. "Is everything okay? Where've you been?"

"Hell and back." She shook her head sounding tired avoiding his eyes, "Lets just go home." Wordlessly, Jay complied he took Manny's hand and led her out.

For weeks after the incident Manny kept a low profile. She locked her doors, stayed home, didn't emerge and only talked to Jay but at the same time she didn't have the courage to tell Jay what had happened. She stayed in bed but hardly slept because of the nightmares. Emma decided because she hadn't heard from Manny in a few weeks to not call but come to her. Sean and Emma despite what was going on took a flight Camille was supposed to check out the new nursery that Emma had spent a lot of time working on but this couldn't wait. Manny hadn't answered her phone. Spike took Sean and Emma's puppies instead of placing them in a kennel. In the weeks that passed Sean and Emma's reconciliation Camille has been around getting to know the couple. Emma has been the bigger person and has been cordial toward her and doing what she can as Camille's pregnancy has been difficult. She hadn't had much support but with Emma and Sean she does have their support - after all she's carrying their baby.

When Manny saw Emma she smiled for the first time in weeks. The two friends were so excited to see each other and Emma told Manny everything that happened in the time they were seperated. "Emma I have to tell you something."

"What is it?" Emma asked sitting on Manny's bed with concern.

"It's about Craig."

"What about him?" Emma sounded exhausted and kind of perturbed considering everything that happened over the course of the year with him. "I haven't heard from him, Sean and I haven't heard anything."

"Well I don't know how to say this but he held me up in a hotel room on premiere night."

"Does Jay know?" Emma asked. Manny shook her head, "Are you okay?"

"I don't know. Emma how did you deal with the trauma when . . " she lowered her voice, "when a gun was pointed at you?"

"Well you know, I didn't handle it well." Emma sighed thinking thoughtfully, "I didn't do anything. I tried to be okay and strong. Everyone back then was looking and judging every move I made when the story broke. You were there, I didn't do a thing. I pushed you and Liberty away. I hooked up with a guy I hardly knew back then. It was bad a complete and utter shit show."

"I feel like a shit show. I haven't been out in weeks. I've been in bed. I'm afraid he's gonna find me and when he does I don't know anymore. Maybe I should've shot him when I had the chance but he has a life you know? He has a family. I couldn't let him break Angela or Joey's heart. I know they're probably worried because he's shut everyone out. He's been ruminating on me for whatever reason. He hasn't spoken to them since last holiday when you and Sean got back together. When me and Jay almost split up for good. When I made that mistake of letting him back into my life. God I'm so stupid. I asked for this Emma!"

"No Manny, I don't think you asked for any of this to happen. I think you need to see a doctor about this."

"They'll think I'm psychotic put me on meds, I just need to sleep but everytime I sleep I see his face and it's like a nightmare ordeal I keep seeing over and over again."

"What about the cops that's the only alternative?"

"Fine, we'll go see my doctor but if she tells me I have to take like some sort of antipsychotic because this sounds crazy even for me. It's a true story."

"You wouldn't make this up though, I know you. I can see it in your eyes you're telling the truth."

"Work has been calling me off the hook asking why I didn't come to the premiere I was there but held up. Where was security? I feel like a mess." Manny cried as she pounded her fists on the bed with frustration, "I'm so sad. I never thought being so guarded would be part of this profession you know? Being an actress is so not what I thought it was."

"Nothing ever is what you think it might be," Emma ruffled Manny's tangled yet slowly growing back locks from when she cut off her hair last January. It's early December once again. "You're going to be okay, let's get you dressed okay?"

Manny groaned but she knew this was for the best. She put on a pair of leggins and threw on an oversized sweat shirt from the floor and one of Jay's hats. She couldn't let the public see her like this so she put on a pair of sunglasses. Emma took the rent a car she got at the airport and drove in the horrible LA traffic to Manny's doctors office. There were paparazzi on the street awaiting them but they couldn't recognize the starlet as they made their way inside.

Alex emerged from rehab a stronger version of herself, she awaited outside the facility for her ride back to civilization. As a yellow SUV passed by she noticed Jay standing outside his car with none other than Sean Cameron. Sean had an In n' Out Burger papercup in his hand. "Well well." Alex beamed seeing her two friends waiting for her and runs to , "bring it in guys." As she brought them both in for a hug.

"We are the good news." Sean told her as they escaped the hug.

"What do you mean, what's the bad news?" Alex asked with much confusion.

"Jay, this is all you. I aint getting involved in that mess." Sean put his hands out shaking his head.

"Guys what is it?" her smile faded, "I just get out of rehab. I can handle this, I just need to know -"

Jay stepped forward. "Paige is uh. . .gone."

"Gone what do you mean gone?"

"I went by her house to scoop her up to take her with us and her housekeeper said she's selling her place and she is in Europe or some shit. I don't know supposedly her brother is playing hockey for the international team now so -"

"Without saying goodbye?" Alex questioned crestfallen with a tinge of tears in her voice.

"I'm sorry Lexxi I know how much you - - "

"I loved her, she told me she'd wait for me. Why did she go without saying anything? She puts me in this place for a few months and then bails for the aftermath. I feel so . . . so goddamn stupid. I'm sorry Sean, but this really sucks. What's gonna happen now?"