Disclaimer: I don't own Blackadder or any of the characters I'm just using them :(
Soz it took so long 2 write the last chapter, I wasn't sure how 2 do it- its pretty dark, but i wanted it 2 be realistic. Plz R&R!
It seemed wrong, somehow, that he, the one who had pronounced all their fear, was the one to survive. The only one. If he was the coward of them all, the only one to speak the words that no one dared to say, why should he be the one to live? There were no answers to any questions he had; no peace to be found. Then again, he may have survived, but he truly believed he had got the rawest deal of all- he was the one who had to carry along a weight of guilt for the rest of his life. He was the one who had to endure nightmares every night, about watching his friends drowning in their own blood. Only it wasn't a nightmare, was it? It was the one type of nightmare he could never wake up from- a memory.
And what homage did they get? Countless, tiny white graves, and a few red poppies. How could that ever show what he had seen? How could that ever show what they had been through together? These people hadn't just been his friends- they had been a part of him. It was like hacking off one of his arms or legs- only, that wouldn't be so bad, he could live with that. They could be replaced; he wouldn't mind having a wooden leg like Long John Silver or something. But he could never replace Blackadder. Baldric. Even Darling- even if he hadn't really liked the guy. It'd be no good having wooden replacements of them. They wouldn't talk. Laugh. Yell. Cry. Tell him he didn't have a single braincell. They wouldn't clap him on the back and tell him he was an idiot. He was going to have to live with that, till the day he died. He should have died with them- but somehow, for some reason, he hadn't. How was he meant to go on, when what had been his life for three years, had been so cruelly ripped from him? He still had no answers.
And he can still hear it, that one sentence, echoing in his head,
"I'm scared sir." And the saddest thing? He still is.
I'm not sureif that was a bit 2 angsty, but there u go, plz tell me wot u thought. For anybody who's read this story, I hope u enjoyed it!
Thx Arbee for the lovely review! I'll try and get some more fics up soon :D
Missy mee- yay! Soz that sounded harsh, im not happy ur sad but part of the idea of my fic was to make people feel sad about the war and soldiers in the war, so i feel like i was successful :)