Chapter 57

Nostalgia is a Bitch

Tyler woke up the next morning in somewhat of a daze. He opened his eyes and he noticed that his girlfriend Camille wasn't in bed, so he walked down the kitchen. He had no memory of the night before. He took ibuprofen and chugged cold bottled water once he got into the kitchen. There was no note. It wasn't uncommon for her to crash at friends to cool off but a lot of friends of hers have their things to worry about like children and families whereas they didn't have those sorts of responsibilities before. If she wasn't at a friends house maybe Tyler's suspicions were right and she had someone on the side which made him pretty much angrier by the second. Altogether they've been together since junior high and he was planning on keeping things together despite being on and off again.

He hazily remembered she was planning on going to Sean and Emma's the night before but not much else, he staggered up the stairs again and noticed her Wasaga High blue duffle bag was gone. He started to worry so he decided to give her a call but quickly realized she left her phone behind charging by the bed as he heard it ring. He saw the clothes from the night before on the floor and on the bed. He didn't remember much from the night before but he did recall she was the last person he saw before passing out.

He decided to call Sean after a few moments. It was very early, and it wasn't like they were close friends but he was concerned for Camille and feeling a bit guilty for the past few months and feels like that might be the reason he woke up to an empty trailer. He just feels like there's something she's not telling him. He wishes he could shake the feeling. Sean groggily picked up the phone on that morning trying hard not to wake Emma beside him, "Hello?"

"Sean! Sorry for waking you. It's Tyler. Is Camille here?"

"What? No. She came home the other night after dinner with Em-"

He was growing impatient he bellowed, "Well if she's not here do you know where she could be?"

Sean heard the urgency in his voice but the worry and sadness weren't there. She knew they had been having issues and he didn't want to talk to him. He saw there was a coldness in his voice. He paused for a moment before saying, "I really don't know where she is." Sean hated being cut off but he honestly didn't know where she was, he was telling the truth. "I figured she'd be at home with you."

"If you hear from her let her know. We must've argued last night, to be honest, I don't fucking remember. I went out with some of the guys from work and came home I could've sworn she said she was going to stay over your place and then I really don't remember so if you hear from her let her know I just want to talk to her."

Sean couldn't help but think something negative about Tyler's urgency. It was a vibe that he picked up on the fact that maybe she is breaking away from Tyler on her own and if that's the case he's somewhat relieved. Even though Sean knows not much about their relationship aside from their bickering which wasn't new he didn't know the true extent of what Camille deals with when it comes to Tyler.

Finally, Sean told him to get him off his back, "I'll call you if I hear anything. I gotta go."

"Alright bye," Tyler grumbled before hanging up.

Emma slowly turned to face Sean in the bed and asked, "Who was that?"

"That was just Tyler. He had an argument with Camille last night and when he woke up I guess she left because he couldn't find her."

"Oh no." Emma winced, "I'm really worried about her since she told me what she told me the other night about her and Tyler."

"If I know Cami like I've known her my whole life she'll be okay and more importantly she'd reach out to us. I've made it clear there needs to be transparency with us at the very least."

"Sean she's pregnant eight months pregnant, Sean. Where is she gonna go? Did Tyler find out about you and her?" Emma sprung up out of bed and paced the floor of the living room, "Like keeping a secret this big could backfire."

"I know, Em but it's better this way. You don't really know him like I do he'd go absolutely ballistic. He'd straight up cold blood murder me. Em it's why I don't drink anymore. I do dumbass shit like hook up with my childhood friend or whatever but I'm not gonna tell him that because -"

"What if he knows something isn't right? Hypothetically speaking of course, what if he knows it's not his."

"Em anything is a possibility at this point but I understand if she needs to cool off with her fight last night with Tyler and when she cools off she disappears. It's nothing new they've always been fiery passionate people they fight and when she's cooled off she comes back again and everything is hunky-dory. They'll be fine, they always get back together and that's them. It's gonna be fine, babe"

"Okay fine, she's your friend you know her better but I can't help but think it's different though this time. Look at her body language the other night. What if Tyler doesn't just verbally fight with her? What if he hits her too?"

"That's a huge accusation we don't even know that. I just know he loves her he'd never hurt her."

"Are you sure?"

"I just don't think so."

"You don't think so, doesn't sound so confident. How well do you even know Tyler Bishop?" Emma asked rather seriously.

Craig decided to grab lunch after therapy and catch up. Ashley didn't know about the whole Manny situation and he felt funny being the first to bring it up. "So Craig Manning, I never pegged you as the stalker type."

"There's a lot you don't know about me." Craig modestly stated putting some ketchup on his plate of french fries, "of all places to lay your head and you picked here?"

"Yoink." Ashley playfully took a french fry and took a bite before saying, "I had a grandmother who lived here. After the tour ended and all she fell ill and I took care of her and then I just stuck around here."

"After the tour, I was living the life in LA had a beautiful girlfriend before I lost my inspiration and went off the deep end again."

"What was her name?" Ashley asked, "Is she the one you discussed in therapy?"

"She was a model, Yvette. We were happy but she just wasn't the one." Craig answered before he uncomfortably nodded, "that one was an actress, I don't want to talk about it right now." He knew he couldn't tell her. It was too personal. She'd walk out on him for sure and he was in no position to push anybody away. She'd find out soon enough but for now, it was nice to have Ashley in his life again. Sure it was complicated they were once involved together, his first love but while that's true so much had happened between then and now.

"High profile actress?"

"Small screen but she's destined for good things. We had history. We had a moment I could've chosen her and I was late to choose her. I fucked it up. She realized I'm not so great I guess and chose someone else or maybe realized she's better off without me. I don't blame her so much anymore. It ended up becoming one of the biggest regrets of my life for so many reasons but I've said enough about it."

"Sounds deep."

"It was but now I'm requested to stay at least fifty feet away."

"That you do, but it's like this song I used to know by a guy I used to know - take a chance it's not romance but something more important. I always took away that it means there's a time for love or romance but to never be afraid to take chances because it's more important."

"Thanks for the stroke to my ego, Miss Kerwin."

"For what it's worth even in the grand scheme it was irrelevant to your life what we had meant a lot to me. I think about it more than I'd like to admit I sometimes find myself wondering what if?"

"What if what?"

"You know if we made it together. If you came to England that summer with me. If I never meant Alistar. If I didn't make things so complicated. Would we be happy? Would we be in group therapy? Probably not."

"It's a nice thought but I'm the master of fucking things up. I don't want to ruin this."

"Ruin what?" She giggled.

"Ashley, it's dangerous to play devil's advocate with our lives. We made the choices we made and all we can do is live in the here and now."

Ashley didn't say anything and resumed eating her burger. As far as Ashley was concerned Craig was the one who got away. While she didn't have many regrets, leaving Craig behind was one of her biggest but Craig had a point.

He finally spoke after she was silent, "I'm not looking for anything serious. I've been through the wringer."

Ashley thought for a moment earnestly, she'd rather have some of him than none of him. She didn't want to rush things whether friendship or otherwise. She narrowed her eyes and wondered out loud, even though she knew it well, "What are you implying?"

"I guess you're feeling a bit nostalgic for me."

"Me? Don't flatter yourself." She didn't want to lie to him but she also denied it like anything throwing her straw wrapper at him but he moved to the right so it landed on the floor.

"Okay if that's how you want to be about it."

She smiled and he smiled back. "I just -" she stammered, "was feeling sentimental. I don't feel that way anymore for you. We're friends." She beamed, before repeating, "Okay friend?"

"Fine by me, friend."

"Alrighty, pal." She rolled her eyes shaking her head, grabbing her purse from the chair, "This was nice but I ought to get home."

The waitress put down the check face down and left the table. Craig grasped it and decided to pay, "I got this, so what's at home?"

"My doggy I have to feed and let out."

He nodded before asking, "Can I meet him sometime?"

"Perhaps," Ashley told him on guard.

"I'll take it. Can I possibly walk you?"

She hesitated a moment as he linked arms with her, Ashley looked to him and he to her she thought for a moment and against her better judgement, she said yes. As they walked out of the restaurant she told him, "Thanks for dinner."

Darcy sat in the doctor's office dangling her legs from the table alone waiting for her doctor to come back inside. She coughed out loud because she felt a tickle in her throat. She's been feeling sick for a few weeks. She thought she had a fever so she finally bit the bullet and went to the doctor. Finally, the doctor emerged with a clipboard in his hands and sat down on the stool in front of her and told her, "I think you might want to sit down."

"Okay? I'm sitting. Do you have news or not?"

"It's not good news. You have HIV."

"You're kidding, I'm not . . . "

"I'm not kidding, Ms. Edwards. Here are some pamphlets and -"

"It's treatable right?"

"With medications yes."

As the doctor continued speaking about the condition her body went numb and blank. She heard him, but her mind was reeling. She was in shock, she kept thinking about how she was going to tell Spinner. How she was sure to lose him in her life. Darcy couldn't believe this, she felt like nothing like this could ever happen to her but evidently, it was. She had never done hard drugs but unfortunately, she did have sex with someone who might've, that guy Craig she hooked up with months ago. She walked home and laid down on the couch, on the coffee table, she noticed a note from Spinner it read:

Good afternoon! I bought you some cough drops on my lunch. I hope you feel better. I love you!

- Spinner

She held the note in her hands for a few moments and burst into tears. She opened up the bag next to it and saw the cough drops and cried even harder. She held the note to her chest and laid back down.

She simply whispered to herself, "I - I don't deserve him."

With no one to turn to but him, she knew she had to keep this to a dirty secret. She knew it'd be hard, there'd be so many questions but she knew to keep him here it was something she had to do, even to the grave. He couldn't know, it would kill him - both things would.

She had to go on as if everything was fine no matter what and no matter what may come. She's done it before she knew it was hard but nothing would ever be the same again. She knew she didn't want to do this alone and she knew she couldn't go on without him. She had to hide the medication, the paperwork, the pamphlets, delete her searches - whatever it takes! She had to do it to protect him. It might be selfish it might be wrong but she simply didn't think there was any other way to live through this. So she did just that and then fell asleep on the couch.

While she slept, Spinner eventually came home. He called out, "Hey sicky." He called as he found her on the couch. He noticed she was asleep so he carried her to the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed and placed the blankets on her as he went about his nightly things. Randall was out, so it was just them. He decided to make her chicken noodle soup and some hot tea believing fully it was simply a cold or a fever not knowing it was something more serious.

When she woke up a little later she found herself smelling Spinner's soup and she had a small smile on her face. She decided to scroll through Facebook, she noticed that everyone's lives from high school were going smooth while she waited. Manny picked out her wedding dress and is famous, Peter's in university, Emma and Sean were happy together, Chantay and Danny bought a house, Mia is a successful model for chrissakes, Clare's cancer-free and going on with her life absolutely no one could relate to her. No one would want Darcy's bad news to rain on their parade. She decided to search Facebook to find Craig she didn't even know his last name but she tried and then the first hit was Craig Manning and she saw the profile picture - it was him. She clicked upon his name and sighed while it loaded on her phone. She couldn't help but notice that Spinner was in his mutual friends and even tagged in his throwback album. How could she not see this? How did she not notice it before? He attended Degrassi Community School! She heard Spinner come in with the tray and she quickly closed out of Facebook as he popped his head in, "Babe?"

"Yes?"

He entered the bedroom, "Texting your boyfriend I see, how are you feeling?"

"Me? Boyfriend? No way."

"I was kidding." He put the tray on the bed.

Darcy blurted out without thinking, "Why didn't you tell me you were in a band?"

"Darcy, where did that come from?"

"I just wanted to know I guess? I saw you got tagged in a Throwback Thursday? Did you have groupies? Did you enjoy it? Who was in your band? How come you don't talk to them?"

"One question at a time Darcy!" He laughed, "I guess I don't really talk to them because I - I'm not in high school anymore. No we didn't have groupies unless you count whoever we were dating at the time. We were called Downtown Sasquatch and I loved it." A smile played on Spinner's lips, "It was me, Jimmy, Marco and Craig. Best times of my life aside from being with you of course."

Her smile faded when she heard Craig's name, "What do they do now?"

"I don't know, I know Craig's been having some issues. Jay told me he - uh relocated to live with his family."

"Issues? What do you mean?"

"He showed up wasted and I mean WASTED at Emma Nelson's house at that party for Manny and Jay while you were peeing when you were - don't you remember why we left early?" Spinner didn't want to bring up Allison completely after they'd been doing so well.

The wheels in her head turned when everything began to add up, "Oh okay. Now I remember."

"So let's have our soup and maybe if you're lucky I can sing you a little song from the band."

"I'll have my soup, but there will be no singing."

"Ah you're no fun." Spinner joked as Darcy started to eat her soup.

"I love babe." Darcy told him rather seriously, "and thank you for the cough drops earlier."