Chapter Sixty

Why Can't I?

Emma, Sean, Camille and Carson arrived in style to the party.

Alex and some of the other women designed on a limited budget consisting of construction paper and markers and another miscellany to create photo-ops for all of the attendees. Floral and little props made from cardboard and paper so people can take pictures in style for the event.

Alex couldn't be more excited to see her friend who she has complicated feelings for. She couldn't help but notice a guy, she assumed was the Tyler she was warned about but she wasn't so sure standing beside her. Emma let Camille borrow a nice dress and did her hair. Alex came over to them. "Hi! Welcome everyone, you guys look great. Don't forget to take a picture of the photo-ops. I'm so glad you guys could make it. I don't think I've met - who are you?"

"I'm Carson." He finally answered after a short awkward pause.

"My oldest brother," Sean interjected with a nervous laugh.

She shook Carson's hand and faked a confident smile realizing she worried for no good reason, "Pleasure to meet you. I don't want to be rude but I had no idea he had another brother." And additionally the fact Camille is living with another man she felt a pang of jealousy. He was pretty handsome and she couldn't help but notice the energy.

"I'm the black sheep." He joked uncomfortably, "you must be Alex."

"That's me." She quickly segwayed the conversation as she thought of a brilliant idea to keep Carson far away from Camille. "So uh Carson how are you with music? Our DJ bailed the event. We have a computer with Spotify if you'd like to help."

Almost proud of it he exclaimed, "Sure, after all, I did music for our Christmas party in prison where we listened to clean versions of hardcore rap songs."

Alex grimaced awkwardly almost regretting appointing him to DJ but fortunately for her, he wouldn't be so much of a threat. Somewhat jokingly, she told her in a hushed tone, clearly playing with Alex, "Girl that was kind of rude."

"I didn't want to be." Alex gasped. She felt reduced to like a meek teenager and that simply wasn't Alex, she really liked the time spent with her.

"I'm kidding, work will do Carson good." As Camille admired her surroundings she beamed, "Well, nothing to worry about. And now back to more important things like the fact no one ever threw me a party like this, not even my own parents. Likes not the word I absolutely love it."

Alex thoughtfully was humbled standing before Camille, the strongest woman she'd ever met who she was quickly smitten by her. She smiled and grabbed both of her hands, "I owe you a dance when Carson gets the music set up. I have to go get some food and I'm totally parched and of course, mingle."

"What'll the song be?"

"I'll come and find you when it plays."

Emma grabbed Alex's arm anxiously, "So did you find it?"

"No Emma, but I see you have some new finger candy on the left finger!" Alex smiled playfully, shoving Emma in a sing-song voice, "are you dare I say engaged?"

"Yes!" Emma smiled excitedly but added, " but I don't want to overshadow today's Camille and make her happy."

"Congratulations! Who knows so far?"

"My parents and Sean, you're the first to find out. Don't tell Manny! I'll have to give her a call tonight."

"How could you not tell me what's going on with you?" Spinner asked softly as Darcy came in quietly trying not to cause any type of ruckus. He quickly realizes confrontation would not work. She didn't answer and just went to the bedroom. She collapsed downward her back to the door as she silently wept. Operation Craig was a bust and unsatisfying. Telling Spinner the truth was an impossible task, how could she face him?

Spinner, despite the anger and hurt, knew something had been off since they reconciled but chalked it up to Darcy hurting and not wanting to talk about it. Darcy is trying to get better with her depression. Darcy is trying to keep up appearances. He had no idea until now why she's been this way. He knew he had pushed a little too much inviting her family to the intervention but he felt like it was an emergency and the only thing he could do when he ran out of options. It only proved to scare her away and push her into telling everyone what she wasn't ready to tell. He remembered what Helen said to stand by Darcy, and try to be patient and understanding. So he decided to slowly work up to talking. He knew she was by the doorway because even deep down Darcy knows she'd feel better if they talked things out.

"I'm scared." Darcy whispered to no one in particular. She softly sobbed and was not expecting to hear someone else. "I'm scared to death right now and I just need something to be okay."

"I know." Spinner softly, "so am I and so do I."

She kind of jumped when she heard his voice. She didn't expect it. He was soft and quiet. He wasn't angry. He wasn't yelling. Finally she came out with,

"You don't have to worry, you're fine." Darcy tearfully told Spinner, "you're gonna meet someone who is going to treat you good. You're going to have kids and a big backyard and all the things you've ever wanted. Your heart will be fine. You will heal and you'll be better off-"

"What's with the crazy talk?" He sighed, shaking his head, "My heart isn't fine but Darcy it doesn't need healing, and if you're not fine I'm not fine. Like it or not Darcy you're stuck with me."

"I'm never going to have those things with you though." Darcy told him honestly, sniffling, "I'll be lucky if I make it to 30."

"I don't care about that stuff, but I do know I care about you a lot. I forgive you Darc I wish you told me though you know before the intervention I know that's not how you wanted it. I was scared to lose you and sure I'm afraid I'll lose you down the line but we can make this work. I'm prepared to put in the work. I know it's not easy."

"I love you so much Spinner." Darcy slowly reached for his hands, as she cracked open the door still not facing him until that moment. She looked into his eyes, "but I'm giving you your out. Your freedom and no it's not giving up and I know you're going to be a wonderful husband and I'll be long gone. Please never forget me."

"Darcy . . . " He softly said, "no I will never forget you and no I don't want out. I'd do anything for you to be with me. I let you get away once I should've been more present but life sort of got in the way and I know you once said lifes a prison and we're in ruts and such we can't break free of but you're the person, my person and someone I never want to be free of. I will never love anyone quite like you. You're irreplaceable to me. I could never find another you I'd live and I'd die and even still there'd be you embedded forever in my brain. From your beautiful brown hair, your soft eyes, that little freckle by your eyebrow you hate so much - just please stop pushing me away."

"Beauty mark," she humored nervously, before focusing on him thoughtfully told him, "Spinner when I was in Kenya I did a lot of soul searching and helping people who are sick. We won't have forever even with modern medicine. I'm being a realist. When my ex boyfriend said forever I thought it was real but he ghosted me shortly after when things got tough in long distance. It was a hard pill to swallow. I went through a bit of a wild child phase and almost got kicked out of the missions program because I nearly lost my mind when I found out he had been fucking another girl in town. When we lost Allison Clare it really made me question everything in my life but not you. You were strong but I grew weak. We lost our daughter and I lost my mind. If I lost you I hate to sound cheesy but if I lost you I don't want to know what happens but I'm warning you things will be so hard, unimaginably hard but I can't think of one person I'd want by my side more than ever."

A short pause occurred as she tightened her grip on his hand.

Spinner suddenly flashed with a memory, and he wondered if she remembered too, "Darcy, do you remember how we met?"

Darcy nodded, "Yes, you were such a bad flirt."

"I lost a lot of people that year - my best friend our relationship had been ruined and all my other friends I was persona non grata, I lost my dad earlier that summer all I had was school and home which wasn't good because of the loss. You kept me going though. You were this bright light among the dull things at school. You had something the girls in my past didn't - hope, courage and a huge heart big - for me of all people. I never told you how much it meant to me. I never told you or anyone anything like this before. You were like this angel without wings because you were full of life and promise and love. It horrified me when you lost your light when we got high together that day it had diminished. I don't know what happened to you, you didn't smile that infectious smile and I wanted to hurt whoever took that smile away and I don't know how bad I needed that smile to help dig out that rut I was in like you had done before. It was like a shell of you and you looked like Darcy but you weren't Darcy. I remember staying up all night thinking about it and even though it's your secret to have we were dunzo by then so it didn't really occur to me until I realize you like to heal alone and I like to heal with people but I want you to let me heal you or help you or whatever not just as your boyfriend but maybe something more. I always wanted to know what had gotten you so down and I caught a glimpse of that girl you were then these past few months and I wanted to help dig you out and I don't care if I have to dig forever or if you're depressed, which would be a whole lot of an undertaking but for you it's worth it. I wasn't there for you then and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want me to be but I'll be there for you now because at my lowest point when dying was something I was inviting, when I wanted to die and when I was actively dying from cancer I wanted to be around for you. I know you think you've got this death sentence but I see it as an opportunity to do all the things we ever wanted to do together bucket lists, jumping out of airplanes and even I don't know fuck it - even get married. I want to remember that day for the rest of my life. So I'm asking if you're in it with me?"

"There's no place I'd rather be than here with you for the rest of my life. I'm all in."

Spinner beamed and she also beamed back genuinely for the first time in a long time.

"Spinner I just wanted to say the time you're speaking about was the hardest year of my life. I wasn't prepared for what happened and I was terrified and haunted for a long time. You're right though someone did take my smile away, they took a lot of things and I'll never know their face or name but I came to grips with that. It took a very long time. The whole ordeal didn't break me though but it very well could've. I went through a crisis of faith, lapses in judgement, feeling alone, blaming myself, extreme trauma because whoever hurt me could very well strike again or hurt someone else the same way. I dealt with it in both healthy and unhealthy ways. I'm glad I went away from town because Kenya made a bit more appreciative of home a bit more if that makes sense. My relationship with my family changed, we argued a little less at least I did and I matured and got to know myself and sure I've changed and shaped by what has happened in a more positive way and I guess I eventually got my light back."

"Sounds like an old friend of mine who I had a complicated relationship with in the past but she went through a period much like the one you're speaking on but on another level. She triumphed pretty heavily against who had hurt and wronged her in a lot of ways. She changed a lot and we grew apart but I'd always admire her for her strength and resilience in that time of her life because while she didn't ultimately win the trial she still made it out stronger than she was before just like you."

"What happened to her?"

"It was a long time ago we were niners but I was a dick about being rejected so for a long time like three or four months I was under this impression my self-confidence took a hit so I assumed she wanted to be with this guy but it wasn't true. I mean I was at this guys house, at this party and I didn't know she was there because she was upstairs. I was angry when I found out she had said something about a sick relative and that's why we couldn't hang out that night and that she lied about it. I don't know if that's not really important but what was important was that I thought you know the wrong way. So months later the guy comes back to our school for a b-ball torny and next thing you know I see JT Yorke this scrawny five-foot-nothing kid wailing on this guy and calling him a rapist and trying to uppercut him in the mascot outfit and then I see her face and then I knew I had the situation all wrong. I came to her when she walked out of the gym after all the shit hit the fan and then I wanted to get my licks in but then she confronted him and boy I didn't want to be that guy at that time because like she really told him off and he deserved it. Other stuff happened like after that but she ended up pressing charges against the guy, announcing to this house he was pledging he was a rapist and crashing my car into his pretty little yellow thing of a car."

"She sounds like a badass but at least you didn't call her hopeless when she was struggling like my guy did to me. What was I thinking back then?"

"She probably still is a badass but it's been months since she and I talked last. Moral of the story is that she made it through a hard experience and so will you - and you should know that you're the farthest thing from hopeless. You represent hope and resilience."

"I do?"

"Of course you do."

There was suddenly a knock at the door. Darcy quickly sprung up, "It must be my pizza you ordered. I'll get it."

"No you relax, I'll get it." Spinner told her as he started to get up himself and she followed him to the living room, when Spinner opened the door he saw a familiar and unexpected face. "Craig?"

"Hi." Craig spoke quietly with uncomfortable tension, "Spinner? I don't know if you lived here."

"Are you lost?" Spinner asked skeptically. "It's been well over a decade since I've talked to you dude you can't just drop by like this. How did you know where I live?"

"I asked around okay?" Craig murmured, "it's not important. Anyway, I need to talk to Darcy."

Darcy called out from the next room almost hiding when she heard the voices at the door this wasn't the delivery driver so she played somewhat-dumb, "How much should we tip the driver? I've got a few bucks."

"Darcy could you come here?" Spinner asked as Darcy was face to face with Craig again.

All that escaped her lips was one thing to Craig, "You need to leave."

Craig just stood there unmoved. He didn't move an inch. Spinner was here, they had just declared their feelings, long untouched feelings and now here Craig was standing before her. "I said get out and never come back."

"Wait wait wait, what's going on here?" Spinner tried to be rational. He had never heard such anger and resentment in her voice before.

"I want him gone." Darcy acknowledged Spinner, "I just . . . no. I'm telling you he needs to go."

"Why are you here?" Spinner turned his head back to Craig and asked with exhaustion and exasperation. "I can't say it's been real, but seriously dude?"

"I need to talk to you, Darcy and I can't wait. It's really important. I'm not leaving. I know I told you to fuck off but i just need to know that you were serious. I'm not leaving till you talk to me. Spin it's really none of your goddamn business."

Spinner was at a loss and the dots hadn't completely connected. He gave them their space.

Darcy walked outside the condo seething with anger. She shut the door behind her so that she knew Spinner didn't hear, "Are you deaf or something? I don't want you here. How dare you come into my home and disrupt my life?" Darcy crossed her arms.

"I can say the same thing." Craig muttered matter of factly.

"You didn't have to kill the messenger. I was just . . . I don't know what I was thinking about taking a train with my sister. I'm sorry for dropping the bomb but you deserved to know the truth. I thought I was doing you a favor."

"By handing me a death sentence?"

"It sounded like a good idea at the time. What do you expect me to do? I don't know you. I didn't know you were even friends with Spinner at any time. We had a stupid anticlimatic one night stand after my miscarriage. I know I fucked up. I'm fucked up. I know that. What about you? I heard from around the grapevine you're just as fucked up. Look at you! You're sick and you didn't even tell me. I had to find out on my own. Now my life is fucked. Not only am I fucked up beyond recognition I'm just simply fucked and it's all because of you!"

"Darcy please, calm down. I'll admit I didn't know. I didn't know I was. . . sick. I swear! I didn't know how to handle the information and I just wanted to talk to you but I see that you don't want to talk. You're still processing. For what it's worth Darcy I'm sorry. I'm sorry about it all. I feel like everything I touch just gets fucked up so I stay away from people I can't lie though we had a connection. It wasn't just I don't know sex for me. I was embarking on something new. I was off my meds. I was fucked up, more fucked up than you can ever imagine! It doesn't matter because I fucked up that too. It's a good thing I won't be on the planet anymore soon enough. I know there is nothing I can say can ever fix it but I wanted to tell you there's this support group. It's for people who are dealing with this. I'm big on support groups, since I was diagnosed with bipolar after a huge episode after I went off my medication. I'll admit it was a gamble coming here tonight. Hear me out, come to the group you don't even have to talk to me but I think it'd help." He gave her the flier. "I was just starting to think maybe I can have a normal life but then you come to me with this information. Right now I have to walk away from a great girl because I don't want to kill her too. I've got a temptation and I know I can't risk it all. I know what you're feeling. Consider it, please. I'll go. I just figured I can't give you money, I can't give you anything but I can at least offer you support."

All she could say is, "I'll go." She then added, "but we're not gonna be friends and I can't believe I say I trust you're doing this with good intentions."

"I am and it's a deal." Craig then left.

He hadn't hung out with Ashley and she'd been texting him for the past few hours. He hadn't gone to his afternoon meeting. She wondered if she'd done something wrong. That's when Craig had to bite the bullet. The ugly truth was despite everything he had this hope in Ashley that they could become more than just friends but now that can't happen, not the traditional way.

It was late, he had taken two trains from Darcy's condo to get to Ashley's. By then it was late. He just knew he had to rip off the bandaid. Finally he rang the doorbell. It was pouring outside. He was soaked and he's going to have to fight the urge to accept her letting him stay over. Finally groggily Ashley threw on her robe and answered the door, "Craig?" She let out a sleepy yawn, "What's up? It's like three in the morning."

"I can't be in your life."

"What? Come on in, you're drenched." She advanced forward as he recoiled shaking his head, Ashley's feelings kicked in high gear and he was pushing her away and she wanted to know why but she knew it was too late.

"No." He stepped backward onto the porch as she shut the door behind her, "I can't talk to you anymore and I wanted you to hear this from me face to face."

"Craig. Why? Was it something I said?" Ashley was blindsided, her stomach formed knots, "Can we talk about this?"

"No. Not at all. Not your fault." Craig told her , "I gotta go home before Joey sends a search party. I can't be your friend, I can't be around you."

Her face fell. Ashley had some hopes for him. "I'm sorry. Please come in so we can talk about this."

"And so am I. Ashley I'm so sorry. Ash I promise you it's not your fault. I love you Ashley and I'll never forget you but I gotta get out of here. It's best you never see me again."

"Oh come on Craig, you'll see me around. All I want to know is why?"

Finally he told her, "I'm dying and I can't have you around thinking there was hope. I regret this because I never wanted to hurt you. I never meant any harm. I can't be friends with you. I can't have friends because I don't want to leave anyone behind. This is goodbye."

With a furrowed brow she simply nodded. She didn't know what to say.

He finally said, "There was hope for us but now there's not. I don't want anyone to mourn a piece of shit like me. Especially you not when there's so much you don't know and I don't know if I could face you knowing whatever it is you don't know about the past few years. I'm shit Ash. You were always good and you'll be fine. I'll only bring you down. I'll only hurt you and cutting you out now will make it easier when I pass. Goodbye Ashley, I wish you luck."

"Goodbye Craig, it was great spending time with you for what it's worth. I hope you get better. I hope you see you're not fucked or hopeless or shit. I wish that for you."

"I'll never see that part because it's only the truth. Goodbye." He then walked in the rain back to the bus station. He happened to see a big bridge between Ashley's and home. He thought he was at his lowest point years ago, but that wasn't true. It was that night, here and now. He pushed the button to get off the bus here. The driver questioned it before driving off. Rain kept falling down as he got up off the bus and stood at the bridge looking down at the ocean below. He thought for a moment, this is it and all he had to do was simply jump but something kept him from doing it. For once in his life he didn't go for it. He closed his eyes and stood there for a few moments and took deep breaths but didn't jump.

He didn't jump.

He just threw his head back and sobbed in the downpour, and whispered, "God just kill me." And a few seconds went by he simply just sat down as his legs were over the rail he put his head in his hands and cried. He saw headlights coming down the bridge. He thought it was an officer, he put his windows down and asked calmly yet sternly, "Are you okay? It's pouring. Do you need a lift home?"

"Uh, yeah." Craig wiped his eyes and made his way to the car and got inside the backseat not even thinking about it. Sure he was wetting the seats of a very nice car with his wet clothes but there was this part of him that wanted to preserve the last moments of his life and didn't want to face mortality just yet. A part of him wanted to live.

The man who asked him if he was okay was none other than Spinner Mason.

"Spinner? Look I can explain -"

Spinner cut him off, "Where do you even live? Where's Joey's?" Spinner muttered, "I can go on about how you clearly had something with my girl, I can go on that when you weren't really there for me and you know what I'm talking about - but I really am too tired to care about all that."

"I'm sorry for all that shit, I just please - I don't know what I'm doing, saying, feeling anymore. I told Ashley."

"What is going on with you? Do I need to drive you to the hospital?"

"They're only going to tell me something I already know."

"And what's that Craig, you're out of your fucking mind? Here I am going on about high school shit and you're just as fucked as me!" Spinner pulled over and laid his head with frustration on the wheel. "God Craig, start from the beginning."

"I don't even know where to begin, Spinner! I fucked up my life. I'm worthless, I'm nothing."

Spinner she gestured back beyond the bridge and pointed, "I've been where you've been, lower than that. I was homeless. I didn't have a dime. I squandered it on alcohol but you know when you, Jimmy especially, Paige, Marco and shit all abandoned me after the Rick shit - Darcy came to me. She didn't care about what happened, how I fucked up. She didn't care about the rumors. She accepted my flaws and all and it felt good. And then when my life was in the shit, she returned to me. I wasn't even looking for her. She found me. When you find a connection you try your best to make it so you survive. I might've lost everything, I was once married. I had a gig as an owner of The Dot, Emma and me."

"Emma Nelson?"

Spinner nodded, "My alcoholism stemmed from my issues in the marriage. How I knew she wasn't the one and I didn't want to be alone and at one point I was going to Paige to like sort that shit out and then I'd be accusing Emma of being deceitful. I was a mess. I was a bad husband. I can't imagine though with Darcy, being without her but that's reality. I've been without her and it was the worst time in my life she came and plucked me out and bailed me from that situation and I'll forever be grateful. I love the woman. She's everything I could ever ask for and we talk, and sure we've had issues and loss but I never went back to the bottle. I never thought I'd ever see her fall apart from the waver but she fell and I caught her. I just need to know what happened. I know she doesn't know I'm here. I know I'm totally invading. I just need to understand and I'm not going to go off or break up with her or beat you up or anything."

"We lost people." Craig managed, "she talked about you in a roundabout way I guess - she had a daughter and she died. I don't have a good memory but I remember that much. I lost the love of my life. The door to the heart and inner workings of Manny Santos closed forever last month. I nearly killed her! I could've and she had pierced me in the heart as fucked as it sounds so many years ago and I do what I do best - fuck it to pieces. She was the one who got away. Everytime she knows you know wil grace the small screen or whatever. I can't even congratulate her because I'm ordered to stay a distance away. She's Jay's girl now, and I know you guys are friends so I'm not gonna bad mouth him but if the rumors are fucking true than well fuck - I hope she keeps her wits about her. She's smart, I just wish she were mine. Do you remember Manny?"

"Of course I do." Spinner bitterly told him, "you deserve it man. She was in a class of her own. Out of your league."

"Out of yours too."

"Touche."

A silence fell over them, "And then I fucked up something that wasn't even happening with Ashley because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to fall for someone. I'm afraid because I'd poison them with what I am. Spin, I have HIV. I'll never be able to have those things you want and neither will she. It's all so selfish to want those things now because soon I'll be in the ground. No matter what happens though just know: you were warned. It's going to hurt. I think then you'll know and understand exactly how I felt when I lost Manny. Losing Manny hurt worse than knowing I've got a countdown, a death sentence. I'd rather get locked up, fuck. All those years ago, I should've embraced friendships, good relationships, be more choosy, not hook up with the first girl I could find but the first I really connected with - I have too many regrets for a man my age."

"It's a risk I'm willing to take standing by her, but do you love Ashley or would she be a temporary bandage?" Spinner asked him rather seriously. Craig didn't know how to answer that, Spinner added, "You're not ready to make that choice, you never really were and you said yourself something that wasn't even happening you've managed to mess it up. You're not ready for a relationship. Why don't you continue your good paths, enjoy the rest of your life with Angela your sister and Joey your I don't know - dad and maybe fuck it - you'd be ready with someone you'd never see coming because that's the way love goes. You think I waited for Darcy as a homeless schmuck? I had to dig and claw my way back and you have it so easy. You're a rockstar, put those feelings to music. I promise you the girls will come some that will understand like Darcy or Ashley or some that'll walk away. Maybe you should call the girls you've been with and let them know about what you know about what's going on. They deserve to know just don't whatever you do go falling in love. You need to make sure you know exactly who Craig Manning is. You never quite mastered that. And to think you used to be my hero."

"Me? Your hero? You need to get out more."

"I just meant rich beyond belief, getting all the girls, aloof, nice hair - Craig Manning in high school. He was a strapping guy if I do say so and before you say it I don't go that way. I wanted to be like you instead I was Spinner Mason."

"Please it's not like you didn't score with the most popular girls in school and Manny!"

The guys erupted with laughter and then they calmed down, Craig looked up at Spinner, "I want to thank you for saving my life."

"Anytime, Manning." The rain had sort of dissipated and it was just them on the road but it was late and he wanted to get back to Darcy and Craig needed to go home. "Tell me Joey's address."

Craig sighed and told him where, "I know I'm a long way from home but can we make a small pit stop?"

Craig went to the graveyard to visit his mother. He noticed Angela had some now-dead yellow flowers that remind him of her laid out beside the headstone. Craig glided his finger against the etched lettering of her name - Julia and teared up. Spinner stood a ways away watching him, and then there were footsteps behind them. It was Joey and Angela.

Spinner was instructed softly by Angela to quiet himself and not tell Craig they're here. Craig started softly whispering, "I've let you down but we'll be together again real soon you know? I know this isn't what you want for me but -"

"Craig." Joey told him holding his umbrella as the drips of the now light rain were falling, "come on home.".

Craig turned around and saw Joey behind him, "I guess you know me a little too well."

"It's freezing."

Craig quickly stood up, and pulled Joey into a hug Joey dropped the umbrella as the rain poured down on them, "I'm scared dad." he whispered in the crook of his shoulder. "I hate disappointing anyone, especially you."

Joey just kept holding him silently for that moment and hugged him back, "It's okay, you're going to be okay I know it sounds like a load of crap but you'll see."

"I'm so sorry Joey for you to find out like this." Craig murmured as he pulled away, "I don't know if I could do this alone anymore. Living life. Whatever that means."

"Alone? Please Craig you'll never be alone. You'll always have me and Ang, I know we won't let you down." Joey simply told him with a grimace trying to stay strong while feeling as though he was falling apart. He couldn't break in front of Craig.

Craig never wanted to waver.

Spinner knew what it was like, it hit closer to home than ever. He was pretty much going to be alone. He was resigned to it. He made his way home but he was followed by someone. It was Angela.

"I wanted to take this time to thank you for telling us where Craig was." Angela told him, "here I thought Craig had himself a girl and turns out that wasn't true. I'm scared but I'd never tell Craig that." She reiterated, "just know it meant a lot for you to reach out. Darcy is going to need you more than you'll know."

Spinner nodded, "I don't know what'll do or where I'd be without her."

Angela nodded, "Take care of her. She seems like a good person. An honest person."

"She is, I just wish she didn't hide all this from me." Spinner muttered, "it's like she was afraid of what I'd say. Maybe she thought I'd walk out on her if I - I couldn't ever walk away now. I'm so fucking invested in her well being. I got to go be with her. Just let Craig know if he wants to talk I'm a call away - I mean it. He's going to need friends in his circle. Good friends. Darc will come around to it. She's gotta right?"

"I guess." Angela shrugged, "I should get back to dad and Craig but thank-you again for what you did for Craig. I don't even know the whole story. I'm glad he's got friends like you."

Spinner nodded, "Thanks."

As he walked back to the car, he felt this newfound purpose to be what Darcy needs. It wasn't a time to be resentful or jealous. He knew it'd be a rough road and it's the high road but she could pull through the prognosis doesn't always have to be bleak right? It's an outlook. If she's surrounded by good things then maybe just maybe they'll make it through, whatever it takes.

Meanwhile Camille's going away/discharge party was going great. Alex had to give Carson credit for helping out with the music at the last minute. She walked up to him as Camille was mingling and Alex admired her from afar and she couldn't help but notice Carson do the same but Alex's intentions were more or less purer than his. He was attracted to her despite knowing less about her than Alex and then Alex yelled over the music to him. "Can I request something?"

"Sure?"

"Liz Phair - Why Can't I?"

"Huh?" He had just started paying attention, "oh the song."

"Yeah," Alex told him, somewhat bothered by the exchange as the song began. She stepped off the small stage and walked over to Camille. The dark-haired girl turned around to see Alex walking toward her and Alex was taking a huge leap of faith doing this. Everyone seemed to know about Alex's feelings but Camille.

Camille looked around listening to the song, it was slow. Is this what Alex was speaking of? Suddenly she was terrified.

"May I have this dance?" Alex asked quietly. No one was paying attention but suddenly it seemed obvious this was a lost cause. She nodded with a grimace and Alex ignored that vibe. Uncomfortably Camille wordlessly took Alex's hand and walked to the dancefloor, "there's something you need to know."

"And what is that Alex?" Camille asked almost dreading what she was going to hear next. Suddenly it became evident to Alex, Camille knew but she didn't feel the same. In fact the fanfare made her uncomfortable. "This song, tonight, the party - it all makes sense."

"What do you mean?"

"You're gay a-and -" Camille told her, and that's when Camille shook her head, dropping Alex's hands, she cried almost terrified she added, "I can't do this."

Leaving Alex in the sea of people slow dancing, heartbroken.

As Camille ran to the bathroom she heard some girls laughing and she assumed they were drunk and she was right. They were residents that managed to sneak alcohol into the party. The laughter quieted down as the girl looked up at Cami, "I take it you found out about Alex's big fat lesbian crush on you."

"What's it to you?" Camille grumbled, taking the bottle from the mean girl, "you're drunk." Camille noticed the ring on the girl named Madison's finger - and recognized it immediately. "You goddamn thief. Emma's been looking all over hell and creation for that."

She pulled out her phone as she dumped the alcohol in the sink and texted Alex:

Maddi is drunk in the bathroom. I poured her drink in the sink. She has Emma's ring.

Now she was forced to face Alex after the scene on the dancefloor. She was doomed.