Trigger Warning:

- blood

- crude language

By the time I am accustomed to the cascade of changes in my life, July has begun.

The effects of the miscarriage have subsided for the most part.

I still detest this cane, but it fulfills its purpose.

And I'm adjusting to the new curriculum.

But there is still one thing pending: revealing my secret to Shigaraki and Kurogiri.

The evening after Bakugou-kun apologized to me, Shouto-kun had invited me to the gazebo. He said that he wanted to talk in private. And so we did. He tried to seek forgiveness. For his erratic behavior, his failure at rescuing me the first time, his mistake during the second time. I was afraid that he would distance himself from me forever. Though, I probably would have deserved that. I had told him again and again that none of it was his fault. It was mine. My carelessness and my misfortune. I couldn't possibly have told him that my role was pre-planned. But to my surprise, he decided to take the events in stride. He clasped my hands in his and swore to do better. "A true hero learns from his mistakes and never repeats them again," he said, eyes brimming with tears. If only I could say the same about myself.

I had to suppress my conscience when I called Shigaraki later that night. The League had done plenty for me. They met their end of the deal, and I had enough honor to not break my end. And by now, I felt a sense of loyalty to them. I simply hoped that loyalty would be enough to save me from my imminent demise. Shigaraki had informed me that the League had separated for the time being to avoid detection by the police. It was because someone had noticed Dabi and reported it to the officials that the heroes had tracked down the bar. It was impossible to meet right now, but he scheduled a time and place for us to reconvene.

That time is now.

Around midnight, when the waning crescent moon glows, I wait in the common room of the dormitory, softly playing Saint-Saëns "Danse Macabre" on the piano. The piece perfectly reflects my mood: sinisterly playful. The piece was composed in 1874 by French composer Camille Saint-Saëns. The story behind the composition is the legend that Death plays a fiddle on Halloween midnight, inviting all the dead to climb out of their graves and revel the night away. Right now, I'm feeling much the same. Perhaps it is the sequence of near-death experiences. Perhaps it is the fact that I have accepted that I will die tonight. Regardless, I would like to have some morbid fun with death before I pay my ultimate and permanent visit. The Devil shares a dance with Death! How poetic! Maybe I'll adorn my hair with a wreath of dead flowers.

Just as I finish the last trill, Kurogiri's portal appears. I waste no time to pass through. The scene is unfamiliar. From my vantage, I can see a river, a bridge, and the lights of the city beyond. The cool night air breezes by, bringing with it the scent of fresh water. The moon reflects and ripples on the surface of the water. The sight is surreal. I am about to ask where we are, but it seems Kurogiri reads my mind. "Do not ask where we are, Selene. It is for your and our protection. Nobody will disturb us here. We have plenty of time. So tell us, Selene, how are you?" he says.

Where do I even begin to start? I decide to explain from when I woke up in the hospital. The miscarriage, the scars, the bribery, the argument with Hanada-sama, my long-term handicap, and all the shifts in U.A. All I had provided them earlier was my location; now I delve into detail about the dormitories and change in studies. "I think there is more to it than just keeping the students safe. Perhaps the faculty are suspecting someone relaying information to the League, and with this new development, they can scrutinize everyone much more closely."

"I think you're right, Selene. All the more reason to not tell you about the specificities of this place. Be very careful from now on," Kurogiri affirms and warns.

"I will. How have you both been doing, though?" My gaze alternates between the two of them. Shigaraki has been uncharacteristically quiet. I suspect All for One's capture had a devastating effect on him. That is why I am genuinely concerned.

Kurogiri hesitates before replying. "It would be a lie to say that we are doing fine. We had thought that Bakugou's abduction would destabilize hero society, but Sensei's arrest rebounded the effect on us. As you know, we are being forced to lie low. The heroes figured out most of our true names, and investigations are being performed as to locate us. Shigaraki told the others to search for recruits independently for the good of the League, but it is more that he needs time to grieve. I've been providing all the support I can. However, it is not enough." The fact that Shigaraki does not have the will to retort only confirms that everything Kurogiri said is true.

I have to risk it now. Either Shigaraki will be so consumed with grief and betrayal that he will disintegrate me now. Or, he will foresee the advantages my truth will bring.

I walk toward Shigaraki, waiting for him to meet my gaze. When he does, I speak. "Not all is lost. You still have an ace up your sleeve. One that you were unaware of. Me."

Now he reacts. He scoffs. "I always knew that. You said so yourself: you're more useful than any noumu."

I shake my head. "That is true, but not for just the reasons you think. There is something you don't know about me, and I've decided to tell it to you now." I take a deep breath, remove my spectacles to put them inside their case, and brace myself for what will happen. "My true quirk is not elemental. It is absorption. Very similar to All for One's quirk."

What ensues is exactly as I predicted. Shigaraki gapes at me for a moment before reacting viciously. He pushes me hard. Kurogiri makes no move to stop him, which is a clear sign of just how infuriated he is, too. The instant my head makes contact with the hard ground, he is on top of me, choking me. Instinctively, I gasp to breathe. He bends close to my ear. "All ten fingers are caging your throat. Only one signal, and you'll be nothing but dust," he rasps. "Tell us. Why did you lie?"

He eases his hold just enough for me to talk but be unable to defend myself. I shouldn't defend myself physically, anyway. "When I was adopted, Hanada-sama had asked me what my quirk was. I had told him the truth then. He had a strange glint in his eyes, and he requested to adopt me of all the orphans there. The one who was confined to a wheelchair. The things that happened afterward … you know well enough. Reminiscing on that made me believe that telling the truth landed me in that situation. I swore never to tell the truth about my abilities again. To never let that history repeat itself. Hanada-sama had the same idea. That is why he lied on the legal documents which asked information about my quirk. You saw those records and assumed that 'elements' was my ability. Before I had stated my proposition, I asked you a list of questions about me. That was the thing I needed to confirm and not correct.

"So whenever situations arose where quirks would need to be implemented, I resorted to using just the element quirks I had absorbed and relying on you and Kurogiri to assist. It is not that I did not absorb your quirks - I can decay objects and teleport myself - but I was cautious. My intention was to never reveal this detail about myself because our deal could be compromised. I had proven my prowess as a spy time and time again, and neither of you questioned how I got the information, so I thought it would be best to leave things as they are. But All for One knew. He never said anything, but he knew I was lying from the start. And it was he who encouraged me to talk to you about this. The night before he was arrested."

"Otherwise, you would have conveniently let this important detail remain a secret. RIGHT?!" Shigaraki shouts in my ear. I flinch, but that is all I do. "You said so yourself. To leave things as they were. IT'S ONLY WHEN PUSH CAME TO SHOVE THAT YOU CHOSE TO SPEAK UP!

"And such brilliant timing, too! After Sensei is rotting in Tartarus, do you mention this. Like you knew that we wouldn't kill another villain with a quirk as powerful and potent as Sensei's! You came here prepared. With your own ace up your sleeve, you conniving little piece of shit! FUCK YOU!" He lifts me by the neck and slams me back down. I groan. Stars appear in my vision.

Yes, I played you to my tunes, just like Death played the fiddle. Granted, I still think you will kill me in spite of your words. But like with any other scenario, I came prepared.

I do not have the chance to respond. Shigaraki screams again, taking full advantage of the fact that no one is around for kilometers. With each roar, he batters my head against the ground. "WHY?! WHAT DID YOU THINK WE WOULD DO IF YOU TOLD US THE TRUTH?! MURDER YOU? TORTURE YOU? KEEP YOU CAPTIVE? Yeah, the lot of us are villains! We do all of those things, but even we know how valuable every ally is! You're a fucking weapon! No one throws away weapons! We're not your asshole father! We would never use you as a convenient fuck whenever we wanted to. You said that the League should use you. The League would, but not without giving something in return. I GAVE YOU YOUR REVENGE, AND THIS IS HOW YOU FUCKING PAY ME!"

Shigaraki punches me. Blood splatters from my nose. He hits me again. And again. All his rage and defeat condenses in his fists and escapes with my blood. I do not resist. I deserve this. Internally, I apologize. I thought I was beginning to feel loyal to you, but in reality, I was doing the opposite. I could neither remain truthful to Shouto-kun nor you. Perhaps, I'm deceiving myself. Years of betrayal from Hanada-sama turned me into a traitor, too. My talents lie in deception, not honesty. I'm sorry, Shigaraki.

With a final howl and punch, he releases me. Tears pour forth from his eyes, dripping and landing on my nightgown. "What did you get from hiding this? Sick entertainment? Disgusting drama? Did you think that after assassinating everyone on your kill list, you would leave the League of Villains? Fake your death and flee the country? Leave me like Sensei? Like my family did?"

"Leave?" I choke. "Never. I am a filthy liar, but I do honor any deal I have made. And I made a deal with you. My espionage services for your accompaniment in murder. Until the League reached its goals, I vowed to devote my talents to you. That hasn't changed."

"You expect me to believe that?" he retorts. His tears singe my heart. "I don't remember anything about my family because of repressed memories. But I know that I was racked with remorse when they died. It's why I wear remnants of their hands on my head and arms. They make me feel sick yet calm. So I feel like they're still with me. All for One-sensei took me in after they died. He raised me. But now he's gone. He endowed the future of the villains and the world onto me. And that's all I have of him. His torch of legacy. Who is to say that you wouldn't do the same? Both of them cheated on me, leaving me to fend for myself. Why should you be any different?" He bunches the collar of my nightgown in his fists and cries with no restraint. Like a child.

I slip out of his tight leg grip on my hips and climb to my knees. I produce a handkerchief from a pocket and wipe his tears gently. "You might not believe me with what I am about to say," I whisper. "Frankly, I would not expect you to and will not hold it against you. But I have to say it anyway. I am not abandoning the League. I am not abandoning you. While a few heroes are exempt, I do despise heroes. They show off a front of justice and prosperity to the world, while behind closed doors they ravage girls like me. And yet, the people treat them like God. I have justifiable reasons to loathe them. You killed one who was assaulting me all those months ago, remember? I am still grateful to you for that. Despite all the arguments we have, my loyalties - as questionable as they may be - lie with you. Use me for your next attack. Use me to gain intelligence. I, Lucifer Morningstar, am a weapon in service of the League and will bring down this world's God."

Kurogiri finally speaks. "Regardless of your defense, you have broken our trust, Selene. Why should the League still keep you? Better, why should we not kill you?" Shigaraki looks at me with the same question in his eyes.

I inhale deeply before answering. "Because I can do most of what All for One can. He has the ability to steal and pass quirks. I can make replicas of a quirk without rendering the original user quirkless. While I may not be able to pass quirks on, with time I am sure my quirk will evolve for that. In the fifteen years and few months I have been alive, I have absorbed countless quirks. My estimate is in the thousands, even though I am aware of only a few tens. I can use your quirk, Kurogiri. Yours too, Shigaraki. Even those of the new members, the students of U.A., and their teachers."

I wait for them to catch my meaning. They are quick. "You mean …" Shigaraki says with trepidation.

"Yes. I have absorbed All Might's quirk. One for All. His protégé, Midoriya, also has the same quirk. It is too strong for my frail body, so I have never been able to try it. But if I can evolve my abilities to pass it to someone stronger … that could change the game. It can decide victory."

"You arrived with more than one ace in your sleeve, Selene," Kurogiri remarks with awe and dismay. That I did.

"And I think it is time to put those aces to use. With my deteriorated legs, I am unable to perform any on-site hero duties. Until they recover, the faculty decided to involve me more in the administration aspects of the hero industry. Strategy, supplies, paperwork, and the like. Essentially, I have greater access to classified information. Information that I can then pass onto you. While the League searches for new members underground, I will operate behind the scenes and relay what I can."

Shigaraki sighs, "This could work to our advantage. The League will be in no state to launch another blow for the next few months."

"There is one stipulation, though," I remind them. "Because of the dormitory plan, I cannot come for these clandestine meetings nightly. With the burner phone, I will call when no one will notice my absence. I'll teleport myself if necessary."

"There will be no need for that," Kurogiri counters. "We will continue to meet here by the river. I will create the warp gate from wherever you are."

I agree to his terms. But Shigaraki seems to have more to say. "Can you heal yourself?" Cautiously, I tell him that I can. I'm just not doing it right now to keep my cover. "Well, I want you test One for All. Try it on the river. If you break a bone or two, you can heal it right away," he orders.

It is best that I do not argue too much. Not if I want to risk dying again. So, I stifle all the warnings my brain signals to me and comply. At the start of the school year, I watched Midoriya-san concentrate the power in the tip of his finger. I'll do the same now because this kind of quirk cannot be controlled with a few subtle lines and curves drawn by my fingers. Like flicking the striker of a carrom board, I flick in the direction of the river. A massive tide runs down the length, nearly overturning the boats. But every action has an equal and opposite reaction. At the same time the water parts, I reel back from the impact, crashing into the trees behind me, falling to my knees and clutching my hand. Indeed, I broke the bones of my finger and plenty more, and I waste no time to start healing them back into place. It feels as though my limbs are ripping apart. Luckily, they're not. Might as well treat my bloody nose while I'm at it. My breath comes out in ragged pants. "Midoriya-san clearly has more experience in this. I think it's better you observe his techniques than use me as a conduit," I choke as my consciousness distorts.

"So what you're telling me is that One for All is a bundle of raw power. And the body has to be well-equipped to hold and manipulate that bundle. Exceeding your physical limits is the start," Shigaraki concludes coolly. That assessment is logical. But his voice bitters with his next statement. "Got any more secrets? Might as well spill them all now."

I am in love with the enemy. "One of my absorbed abilities lets me produce gemstones. So, funding should never be a problem." And I slump unceremoniously.

After Shigaraki and Kurogiri jolt me into awareness, the three of us spend more hours discussing the next steps from here on out. My body spasms with arthritic flares. While the League conducts its own secret operations, I should endeavor to contact them at least once a week. There is just one last thing remaining.

With my body returned to its previous state and the pain gone, I tilt my head to soothe the muscles and joints of my neck. "Say, could you find me my cane? The one with the silver dragon head?" I ask.

Both of them stare at me with amazement. "You have the audacity to ask that after everything that happened?" Shigaraki exclaims.

I shrug my shoulders and say, "I cannot shatter any bones with this one, therefore it is insulting to my aesthetic."

I lift the geriatric cane up for emphasis.

"Where did you lose it?" Kurogiri inquires.

"In the river by the beast forest," I reply, timidly.

Shigaraki smacks his forehead and groans, "Well, good luck getting that back!"

"Then can I get a new one?"

"NO!" they answer simultaneously.

"What a shame."