Chapter 11

His head snapped up and a slow smile spread across his face, but before he could reply she warned, "And don't you dare say 'I told you so'."

"Wouldn't dream of it." He held her against him. "Whenever you'd like to start, I'm ready."

She took his hand and led him to the couch. She sat at one end and faced him. Her hand slowly reached across to his and griped it tight in an embrace. He squeezed reassurance.

"Only what you need to say, Alex. Nothing more, nothing less." His gentle smile stilled the quaking in her soul.

"I don't know why I went back that night. Back without you." She took a deep breath and thought about the words she'd just spoken and started again. "Strike that. I know why I went back. I wanted him so bad that I didn't see the danger it posed to me as a detective…an undercover detective."

When she looked up at Bobby, he was watching her, trying to read what she wasn't telling him. She cleared her throat and continued on. "But you knew me better than I thought…you followed me."

"Only because I can't imagine my life without you, Alex. Never because I didn't trust you." His grip on her hand increased.

"I know, Bobby." She said so quiet that he moved closer. "But Bobby…I was angry…angry at you…because I couldn't save myself." She looked away from him. "I've never needed help and for you to be there and save me…because I couldn't save myself…well, it was a hard pill to swallow."

He let this soak in as the silence seeped into the apartment and engulfed them both in their thoughts. After a few minutes of the deafening silence, Alex pulled her hand away and stood.

"Then I think of where I'd be if you hadn't come…and I owe my life to you." She stood in front of the window over looking the alley. "So I want to thank you."

"I don't need that." He said from right behind her, right where she knew he'd be. "Having you here, alive…it's all I need."

She turned slowly to face him. "What I'm saying is that I need to save myself right now."

"You want me to go?" His voice soft, scared like.

"It's how I deal, Bobby. You've always known that." She laid a trembling hand on his cheek.

"If you're so sure then why are you shaking?" His hand covered hers.

"Because I'm scared to death that you won't come back…"

"Not come back?" His hands held her face and made her look up at him. "I can't ever not come back."

"Good." She said before raising herself up on tiptoes to kiss his mouth tenderly. His arms wrapped around her and held her against him as the kiss held them together.

Breaking the kiss, he laid his forehead against hers. "Just promise me that you won't push me away."

"I promise, Bobby," she whispered.

He kissed her nose and turned for the door. "Call me…day or night. Understand?" He didn't turn to look at her for the fear that she'd see just how scared he was to walk away.

"I'll hold you to that." She had turned back to the window, unable to watch him walk away.

She heard the door being pulled open and she whispered, "Don't go." The door closed softly and she let the tears in her eyes cascade down her cheeks.

"I can't go." At the sound of his voice, she wasted no time getting to the safety of his arms. Her mouth was on his as she caressed him through his clothes. "I could never go," he whispered as he placed soft kisses down her jaw line and throat.

"I need you…all of you," she said as she took his hand in hers and led him toward her bedroom. "Make love to me…show me you won't ever leave me."

He scooped her up in his arms. "I won't ever leave you."

"I know." She placed her head against his shoulder and let out a sigh. "Just could you…would you hold me?"

"Until you get sick of me," he said as he gently laid her down in her bed and settled in next to her.

"Which will be never." Her arms wrapped snuggly around his waist as her head lay upon his chest.

He smiled as he listened as her breath evened. He laid his cheek against her hair as he listened for signs that she was having a nightmare. But the nightmares didn't come. She was safe in his arms.