Hooray for another update!

Sorry for the delay. Life's been kind of hectic between original projects, family issues, and now some new issues with my job. The stress has definitely put a damper on my creative energy. But future Mr. TwitchWalkerTexasRanger and I are going on a short trip this upcoming weekend, and I'm looking forward to some beach reading.

This chapter didn't really flow well at first, either. I think out of everyone, I'm the most excited to see Jasper again, but we still have a bit more plot to go before that can happen. Ugh. I hate plot. And slow-burn romances. Why did I do this to myself...?

3. THE START

ANOTHER DEMONSTRATION? WHAT THE HELL was that supposed to mean?

The truck was getting closer.

But a breeze came first, carrying the scent of chalky exhaust, the tang of gasoline, and… and… and…

My throat flared. It was like the elk I just killed had no effect on my thirst.

I tried to fight it. I managed to recoil a few steps back, but it wasn't enough. I tried to turn and run from it, but a set of steel arms held me in place, forced me to turn back to the road. I held my breath, straining to keep myself still, to not chase that scent down and mangle and kill and drink –

James stepped in front of me, a wicked smile on his face. I hated it so, so much. I snarled at him, allowing the noise to escape me in all its feral glory. It echoed throughout the empty stretch of road that wouldn't be empty for much longer.

"Magnificent," he approved. "I love how you turned out. Don't you, Victoria?"

Victoria said nothing. She hadn't spoken since the clearing. Even in the haze of my desire for blood, I filed the small observation away. It could be important.

James's smile at her hardened. Why? Was he mad at Victoria? Frustrated? Why? It was only another thing I could notice, another question I didn't have an answer for.

The engine barreled ever closer. James looked down at me. "I can see you fighting, Blaire. You're doing so good, trying to abstain. That coven protecting you would be so proud. Don't you even want to breathe?"

Of course I wanted to. More than anything. My lungs twinged with discomfort, but I held on.

He tutted at me. "Blaire, come now. You aren't with that coven anymore. You don't have to pretend to be something you're not. We both know the darkness living inside you."

Darkness… that's what I was now, wasn't it? A thing of night, an unspeakably evil thing. "Only because of you." The words came out between my teeth.

James smirked. "That's what you think. Make her breathe."

Sharp pressure hit the back of one of my legs, making me fall to my knees. Both of my arms were wrenched behind my back, and Victoria grabbed my hair. The memory of James doing the same before I died, before I shot him, before I was bitten –

My eyes widened before she yanked it back –

I gasped, forcing air and scent into my lungs. Blood cut through the dirt and grime of whatever car the human drove. I could feel the slickness of it on my tongue and burn down my throat. I shuddered, feeling my rationale slip under depths of instinct and thirst. "That's better, isn't it?" James asked.

I lurched forward –

"Not yet," James commanded, his voice cutting through the haze filling my thoughts. "Not until I allow it. Breathe."

No, I couldn't breathe! Not again! My throat already hurt so much. Taking another breath would be like raking it through coals. The desire to track down the blood was strong, but maybe it would go away if I stopped breathing. I wouldn't breathe. I wouldn't. I clenched my jaw shut and glared at James.

His lips twitched infinitesimally. Then he was on me, fingers tightened around my throat, squeezing it – choking me – pain – It forced me to suck in a shallow breath, as if I still needed air.

Burning. So much burning. I was losing control.

"Again," James said. He seemed to be losing that good humor of his.

I didn't breathe again like he wanted. Instead, I smirked at him. I wanted to make that good humor disappear.

His hold on my neck tightened. I bared my teeth in spite of the pain. Tiny cracks splintered in my ears. Fire raced across the outside of my throat now, too. I had to breathe again.

I lost myself to the blood.

The roar of the engine was deafening in my ears now. I lunged for it. I barely made one step before James shoved me back. Another growl snapped from my blistered throat. "You'll breathe for me again," he said.

I wanted to cry at the pain, at the need. I was wild now. I couldn't be stopped. I didn't want to be stopped!

"Breathe, Blaire," James said.

I did it that time without a fight.

Delicious pain powdered my tongue and shot down my throat. This was torture. It had to be. I was going insane!

"Give me a show."

I shot out into the road, right into the path of a logging truck. Its bright yellow and chrome grill barreled down on me. The source of the blood was inside. I charged for it.

Tires screeched as I jumped up and pounced on the hood of the truck, bracing myself on the side mirror on the passenger side and the groove between the hood and windshield. It gave me a perfect view of the man at the driver's seat, staring at me in horror as he tried to brake. The truck jostled as it fishtailed, but I kept my balance. I could hear his heartbeat pounding through the chaos.

I lunged forward and broke through the windshield. The man screamed as I crawled over the passenger seat and center console. I pressed myself into his side, wrapping my fingers around his head, angling it to the side – crack!

Oh God.

My teeth tore through his flesh. Warmth rushed over my lips, chin, neck, and flooded my mouth. All while I drank, another car accident that sounded a lot like this replayed in the far reaches of my mind. Tires squealing, metal crunching, my mother's scream, the sharp crack! of her own neck when Victoria killed her.

Around me, the truck swerved violently, it tipped, clattering echoed in my ears, metal crunched, I was flung out –

I didn't release my kill. I drank and drank even as I toppled over him in wet grass and mud. I didn't let go until I had my fill. Smoke filled my nose and throat as I indulged. I made myself at home in the chaos.

I looked down at the corpse beneath my hands, once again red with blood. His face was contorted with the scream I'd left choked in his throat when I broke his neck in half. At least he died before we flew out of the truck. At least he died quickly, and I didn't make him suffer. But that still didn't make the act of killing him merciful.

It was still monstrous, just like me.

I was only done with the driver when the air cleared, and I could see James and Victoria on the other side of the road through thin streaks of smoke. James looked like he was trying to smile, but with how widely he did it, it looked more like he was trying to bare his teeth. Victoria was crouched behind him, her expression deadpan. Focused.

Fuck games, I wanted them dead.

I threw myself across the narrow strip of road that separated me from them. Through acidic smoke and rage, I charged for their necks.

But when I crossed the road, I slid to a stop, placing myself inches from James.

"How was that?" I asked.

I kept perfectly still as James reached out and brushed his knuckles along my lower lip. His touch was featherlight, sending prickles of discomfort through me. "Breathtaking," he said. "Your ending was only slightly forced."

I smirked as he pulled his hand away. I couldn't wait for the time I would be able to rip it from his arm. It couldn't be now, though. I still had to wait. For now, I hoped I looked enthusiastic and winning. I hoped I looked like a prize. His prize.

I had a feeling I succeeded when Victoria still said nothing, watching the exchange with too-focused eyes. I could practically see through them and the thoughts bouncing around in her head. Just as I suspected, there was a reason for her silence, and it had to do with me.

V

THE HUMAN BLOOD roaring in my veins made the world burst out in pure brilliance. It was beautiful, it made me wonder if I'd ever paid attention to anything when I was human, and it was going to drive me insane.

Sunlight, even filtered through the clouds, sparkled along every reflective surface. The drying dew on leaves, the mineral in rocks, the eyes of animals all glinted harshly back at me. Everything had to be noticed, analyzed, and accounted for. I would dart past a tree, but not before my mind counted the branches or the pattern of the bark. Every sound from rustling undergrowth in a breeze and flapping wings had to be filed away for reference. I didn't know why I would ever need to remember them, but just in case I did, I would know them. The strides of James and Victoria were counted and timed, which I thought was more important, until it was done to the point of excess. After running with them for hours, I knew I would be able to pick out their steps with my eyes closed.

Running wasn't enough of a distraction anymore. The thrill was gone since I had literally everything else assaulting my mind. I flew through the forest and navigated rockier terrain with ease, even though I felt like I was being overloaded with information. Even though it all made me want to explode. I needed release. I needed a break, just for a minute, just for a second –

I picked up on the sound of water, lapping against land. I charged for it.

"Blaire –"

The lapping sounds belonged to a large lake, hidden among trees and rocks. It was completely isolated from the rest of the world. It was salvation.

Despite the overcast sky, I could still see the bottom through crystal clear water. I didn't stop running.

I pushed off the ground at the bank and vaulted myself into the air. Wind whipped past my ears and ripped through my matted hair, and then I dropped. I plunged into the depths of the lake.

Icy water swept up to meet me at all sides, making my lungs tighten. I flailed for a second, until I realized I wasn't drowning. I couldn't drown, because I didn't need to breathe. I could stay down here forever, if I wanted to.

For a moment, everything was quiet. I was suspended in the stillness of a cold void.

I opened my eyes wide, taking in the new grayish blue-tinted world I entered. It was deep, easily twenty feet, and filled with smooth stones and large tree trunks. It looked so different from the world I left above. I could still hear it, but the sounds were muted. Tolerable. It made me wonder if mermaids were real, but they were actually just vampires that couldn't stand the surface.

I angled and twisted my body to swim down to the bottom. Nothingness pressed against me at all sides, a dull white noise flooding my ears kept reality at bay. The only thing moving around me were the thin streams of blood leeching away from my body and clothes, tinting the space around me in pink.

It was still peaceful. Numbing. Lifesaving. I clung to it.

I turned on my back and let myself drift under the water, squinting at the harsh sunlight glinting down through the rippling surface. At the body pouncing into my own personal haven. Shattering it.

Victoria, in nothing but a bra and underwear, pumped her thin legs and arms through the water to meet me. Her red eyes and hair were stark contrasts to the cool hues surrounding us. Did I look like that? I remembered that Victoria had chosen me when I was human because I looked like her. Her hair had been brighter than mine, then, but maybe it was different now. What would happen when I eventually saw my face? Would I still see me, or the monster she and James turned me into?

Victoria reached out and grabbed my arm before twisting her body around and pulling both of us to the surface. I let her, because I wouldn't be able to exact my revenge if I decided to become a water-dwelling monster forever. A few, blissful seconds to reset had been enough. For now.

Cold air slapped my wet face, and I gasped while treading water. All of the sounds and sights rushed back to me, and I was forced into my nightmare again.

"It will get easier," Victoria said, smoothing her hair back over her head. "Your senses are still adapting. You can have a moment, but we will have to move on soon."

I tipped backwards and let myself float on my back, submerging my ears underwater. Time slipped past, seconds ticking by into minutes of silence that I kept track of with ease. I was acutely aware of Victoria treading water near me. Even though my eyes were closed, I knew she was staring at me.

"Am I not what you expected?" I asked. I twisted back to treading water so I could meet her eyes. She stared back at me evenly.

"No," she said.

Good. I hoped I was a disappoint to her. I cocked my head to the side. "Do I make you nervous?"

She smirked. "Don't flatter yourself."

"There has to be some reason you haven't said much since I woke up," I said.

"You aren't the only one adapting."

I glared at her. "I guess motherhood isn't all it's cracked up to be." I didn't bother dulling the snarl edging my words. "Some people just can't hack it."

Her eyes narrowed.

"But my mom could," I went on, chest rumbling. "She was kind and gentle, and everything good that you'll never be."

My rage spun beautiful, terrifying images in my head. I fantasized about dragging Victoria down to the depths of the water and ripping her apart, spreading her limbs throughout the entire lake. Or maybe I would make it so she couldn't move and trap her under the water. I'd force her to stare up at the sun and make her feel as hopeless about escaping her prison as she made me. I wanted her to suffer. How could I make her suffer?

"And what will you do about it?" Victoria asked.

My worst. I would make her regret ever laying eyes on me.

She smirked. "You're so obvious. You think you can finally kill us because you're one of us now? You're still weak, Blaire. Helpless. One step behind. What do you think James has been doing, while we've been here, and you've been obsessing over the millions of ways to kill me here and now? We still have coven members to collect besides Laurent in Alaska."

My eyes widened.

I flailed and thrust myself out of the water before breaking into a dead sprint through the woods.

V

If you enjoy my writing and would like to support me in my creative endeavors, I've set up a ko-fi account (which is essentially an online tip jar). The link, spelled out, is ko-fi dot com forward-slash TwitchWalkerTexasRanger. Please consider donating if you have some extra change and want to help your local Texas Ranger out!

I also appreciate comments! Your words have the power to make my day! If you write me something super nice or super crazy, I take screenshots and post them on my ko-fi page with responses!