A.N: Thanks again to everyone for supporting my story, be it with favourites, follows or likes. As always feedback appreciated. Not much to say about this chapter other than the fact that for it's size it took an inexcusable time to complete due to the number of rewrites it underwent.

I just hope you enjoy.

Chapter 14 – Pick Your Poison

Zelda's Study – 709 days A.G

Ambivalence was not a sensation Link considered himself prone to, but he couldn't escape it in this bizarre scenario. He should rightly be mad at Zelda for, what he now strongly suspected, to be a monumental demonstration of blatant hypocrisy, yet as her melodious voice neared the end of another tale he couldn't help but find her even more alluring. Damn his foolish heart for being so weak to her presence!

Once again, her dulcet tones had captured him and again her recollection deviated quite substantially from his own. Not to mention that while this was supposedly evidence for his impromptu trial, she spent remarkably little time on the crime, instead spending much of her words focusing on the many ways he had helped her and her citizens, through many small and, to him, inconsequential acts of kindness that were as natural as breathing and equally as unnoteworthy as far as his memory was concerned. Was she his prosecutor or his defence?

As he emerged from the sea of memories the princess's vividly expressed yarns had immersed him in, he could only guess that all this reminiscing had taken them almost an hour, judging by the fire and candles now burning low, allowing shadow to claim the many bookcases surrounding them. Their outlines, a ghostly grey in his vision, formed the illusion of a spectral cage, a hint to his possible fate. The only other light was the glow of his bindings which did little to assist illuminating outside their little intimate circle. It was now just him, a languid orange flame, a desk and his princess, who even half cast in shadow had lost none of her power to draw his gaze.

He thought back to his fateful words upon his initial horrified discovery of his crush on her. He was pretty sure he was right with his initial diagnosis of it being no more than innocent childish infatuation, yet he couldn't distinguish the moment when his heart decided to doom him with it's inconceivable naivety, entwining his hopes and happiness with hers. There were many episodes to choose from, however none supplied an irrefutable answer for the precise second in which he became another casualty of unrequited love, forced to endure her sweet presence without respite, falling into her deep sapphire gaze, admiring luscious lips that…

"Link, Ohhh Liiinnk!" Zelda's melodious crooning awoke him from his daydreaming, although he still wasn't entirely certain this whole situation wasn't a dream itself. Her delicate fragrance seemed to be enveloping him, balming his mind, even as it threatened to send him into a delirious haze. Blinking brought an explanation even as it exacerbated his bewitchment, the princess's gorgeous visage swimming into view, mere inches from his own, so close he could feel her breath on his lips. So near he could almost taste her… luxurious lips… if he just leaned forward…

ABORT!

Sanity finally regained a foothold on his body and he wrenched his head back, slamming his eyes shut to barricade them against so much as glancing at the princess's tantalizing yet utterly reprehensible display, his mind suddenly comprehending the full level of its salaciousness. Zelda practically lay over the table, her ample bosom virtually polishing the smooth mahogany surface, as her braids tumbled over the edge almost brushing against his knees. Even just the mental image of such indecency was enough to goad his heart into a bid for freedom, pounding its way out of his rib cage, in a desperate attempt to reach the object of its desires, while his brain threatened to combust from the fuel of a hundred shamefully steamy dreams.

He only opened his peepers once he heard the unmistakable creak of the table signally the princess's return to her seat and some semblance of decorum. Nevertheless, the smirk she met him with from her reclined repose in her chair was sufficient to keep his heart-rate up.

"So, is the heat of the trial getting to you, Link? You're looking rather flushed." The princess's honey laden tones sent a shiver down his spine, and as gallant and indomitable a hero as he was, he began to suspect he may have met his match, facing such a tormentor as his beloved Zelda. He'd never seen her do anything so risqué or seemingly lascivious and might have almost this alluring temptress before him was some evil vindictive doppelganger who had replaced the real princess. Her tales however were, despite their differences to his recollection, far too accurate and personal to be the work of an imposter. They also confirmed a niggling suspicion he had possessed for much of their acquaintance, but previously dismissed as his cynicism talking, that she may never have been quite as angelic and unquestionably noble as he held her to be.

Gulping hard to compose himself, Link croaked out a reticent response, not quite meeting her eyes. "Not hot, Zelda, just rather thirsty given that, with these bindings, I have been unable to drink for the last hour." He did his best to play down the guttural nature of his tone as nothing more than his parched throat combined with annoyance and not the growl of a wild animal that had just been whipped into a frenzy by an obscene display by its mate. He couldn't be seen to crack.

Zelda's smirk broadened and she began nonchalantly running a gloved finger around the rim of her own glass of wine as she tutted. "Link, we have been over this. It is merely a small punishment for your numerous transgressions. A punishment you would not be receiving were you to simply confess…"

"Princess, how many times do I have to…" the tormented hero's protest was halted with just a raise of her hand.

"I have no more wish to repeat that conversation than you Link, and I do believe you speak truly when you protest your ignorance of the crime for which the confession is required. Either that or you are so deep in denial of it yourself, for reasons I have yet to discover, you cannot answer. Nevertheless, this is an unavoidable issue of such magnitude that it must be resolved tonight if our relationship is to continue… and hopefully grow…" There were traces of both suggestiveness and whimsy as she made that last statement. Link could only assume this was yet more teasing as there was just one way he could see their relationship "grow" and surely Zelda would never consider such an option!

"Why not?" his heart protested vehemently.

Great, the cause of all his woes for the last year wanted yet another argument against basic rationality and common sense. Like he hadn't hammered home the myriad of reasons against such a ridiculous proposition dozens of times already. Why did it have to be so infuriatingly persistent?! Speaking of which…

"My intuition told me more than stubborn pride held your tongue and it seems I was very much correct. Rest assured Link, one way or another this issue WILL be resolved tonight even if it takes me till dawn to do so…"

"Well it would go a lot quicker if you just told me…" He tried another protest.

"Link, we've been through this." Zelda carried the same exasperated tone as she did after multiple attempts to teach him about trade taxes. "A lady should not have to say such a thing before a man has done his duty. It's a stain on her dignity and I'm far too patient to cast off my dignity this early in the evening…"

And she had the audacity to call him stubborn!? Not to mention the fact most respectable people would say she'd already thrown away any sense of respectability with her current tantalizing attire, let alone her positively indecent displays. That wasn't saying he didn't find them enthralling. He just wished she wasn't trying to give him a heart attack. He considered enquiring about a man's duty of which she spoke but he suspected he would just get yet another cryptic answer about as enlightening as soggy parchment embalmed in mud… Hey wait a minute! Was she implying she planned to cast off her dignity later?! What in Hyrule could that mean?! A small perverted corner of his mind had an idea that sent a shivered up his spine.

The princess had continued, oblivious to his distress or the fact that, due to his contemplation, he'd missed her last few lines "…and yet, despite the months of torment and frustration you have put me through, I am nothing if not merciful. Therefore, I will release you from your binds, however I will first have to take some precautions." With that she rose from her seat and, in her classic Zelda fashion, wafted weightlessly past him.

What precautions could she be thinking of? His query was answered a few seconds later with the click of a lock, moments before his glowing bindings dissipated, allowing Link to wheel round in shock. "Princess, what are you doing?" He asked incredulously.

"Making sure you can't escape. This is a trial after all. It's lucky you're wearing such a form fitting ensemble otherwise I may have been forced to examine you for a concealed clawshot. I couldn't risk having you swing off the balcony into the night like some dashing outlaw from those adventure stories."

The accused "dashing outlaw", knowing full well what tales she was alluding to, discovered a new shade of scarlet previously thought unattainable by his face. Zelda took one look at his expression and promptly burst into raucous unrestrained laughter, to which his only response was to slump back into his chair, both to conceal his ever-growing mortification and to prevent him gawking at her. As he fought to dowse his flaming embarrassment, his mind desperately sought to fathom the existence of this mischievous, effervescent and utterly bamboozling young temptress. This was the longest he'd ever seen her without her mask or veil… well except that one time when she'd overindulged on libation… and repeatedly tried to kiss him. It had been one of the longest evenings of his life, though this was shaping up to beat it into a cocked hat…

Of course! Zelda had already been drinking before he'd even arrived, goddesses knew how much. She may not have lost her profound eloquence or inimitable elegance but surely this new Zelda had to be the result of something fogging up her intellectual acuity worse than being forced to sit through the entirety of Gor Coron's poetic "epic" stirringly titled "meditations on a solitary rock". The sole suspect he had regarding such a clouding of the mind was Zelda's glass of wine sitting opposite, resting on one of several pieces of parchment that littered the mahogany surface.

As he heard the slight footfalls that signalled the princess's approach, Link began to subtly tug at the parchment beneath the glass, hoping to manoeuvre it out of her easy reach and discourage further indulgence, lest it led to disaster. His efforts were almost scuppered, however, as Zelda slipped passed him to stoke the fire and add another log. It wasn't the only flame she was stoking!

The innocent hero's eyes threatened to pop out, as his pure princess bent down in front of the warm glow to retrieve more wood… and revealed the silhouette of slender legs through the snow-white fabric of her skirt. A juddering hand nearly toppled the glass and were it not for his lightning fast reactions it's contents may have now been soaking into the various possibly important documents beneath it. He was almost grateful for that near catastrophe though, as it allowed him to tear his gaze away from the princess's tantalizing form. With the crisis averted he turned his eyes to the sky as to beseech the goddesses for some explanation for this whole affair. Perhaps they were to blame and this was some sick joke for them to laugh at his torment. It wouldn't surprise him given what his chosen destiny had given him thus far. Being tortured by a love he could never have certainly fit the profile.

"My my, first you steal my tarts and now you're trying to steal my wine, Link… and doing so right under my nose. You truly are incorrigible." Zelda was suddenly looming over him, a triumphant smirk emblazoned across her visage, her eyes sparkling with devilry.

Retracting his hands from the glass, as if scolded, Link dared to meet her wicked gaze as he launched into adamant defence without properly thinking. "I wasn't stealing it. I simply think you've clearly had more than enough already." By the time the words left his mouth he wished he'd stayed silent as Zelda's smirk quickly turned to a pout while angry arched eyebrows directed him to icy blue whirlpools that almost froze him in his seat.

"Care to explain?" She asked coolly.

He really didn't. "I… I didn't mean it like that." He stammered, fumbling for some escape. "It's simply that… that… you're acting… in a less than proper manner and…"

"Link, we are in private. Courtly protocol need not apply and quite frankly my daily recommended portion of it was surpassed three hours ago!"

"No, that's not what I was saying. It's simply that… it removes inhibitions and makes people… do things they… may… come to regret… and I don't want to… I don't want you to face such a regret."

"Link, I am neither drunk nor am I in any danger of doing anything I may come to regret!" She snapped, more exasperatedly than angry though, as the storm in her eyes had seemed to have blown over and her lips were twitching once again, restraining a devious grin. There was a brief pause and then "Besides, I know you are simply trying to excuse yet another blatant act of kleptomania, as is so much of your concern and consideration for me." For all the accusation in her words, her tone was thick with impish mirth.

Despite this, the ever-noble hero couldn't resist defending his honour… and his feelings. He leapt to his feet, planting his on the edge of the desk and leaning forwards, copying Zelda's stance and meeting her gaze. "I'll have you know princess, that every word or act of care and concern for you was from the heart and certainly not for some supposedly nefarious reason, but because I deeply… I…" His voice fell away as he saw her grin growing with every word he spoke and came to a horrifying realisation. She had baited him and he'd just fallen for it!

"Yeeeesssss?" Zelda practically cooed inching closer. How could he get out of this one? What subject could he possibly… A ha! Time to unmask a beautiful, despicable hypocrite.

"Hey, you're one to call me out for stealing food Zelda…" Link barked, before doing his best to conjure an air of cool smug confidence, a challenging prospect given her proximity "or should I call you Dezalleena."

He had expected anger or visible shock. All he got in response was gasp of feigned offence, quickly replaced by a quirk of the eyebrow and her Cheshire grin growing ever more devious… and alluring. She relaxed and gracefully reclined back into her seat, her sparkling gaze never leaving his. "So, you figured it out."

"Of course I figured it out!"

"What gave it away?"

Truthfully it was actually her retelling of the whole incident which allowed all the pieces to fall into place, however he certainly wasn't about to give her credit for supplying his one and only trump card. No, he'd just give her all the clues. All the clues he'd missed at the time, starting with the most absurd "Zelda, your choice of pseudonym. Dezalleena! Really! That's literal child's play. It's just your and Neela's names jumbled up."

"It's a name that has served me well. Besides it could have been Neela."

"Yeah, but Neela can't perform any magic, let alone full body illusion spells. Not to mention the fact that the mysterious Dezalleena carried the same fragrance as you, the only difference being a strange metallic overtone, which happens to accompany certain spells, including powerful illusion spells. Then there's also the slight heat haze effect that accompanies many spells, although I initially thought my eyes were playing tricks on me." Much of that was conjecture but it was a pattern he'd noticed, which seemed to fit the bill and he wasn't about to give the princess any wiggle room for plausible deniability. Not that she appeared to have any wish to, remaining remarkably nonchalant in the face of his counter accusations… almost as though she'd intended to be found out!

"Your wolf senses have certainly gifted you with some novel benefits over the years. I'm guessing it's how you discovered the bell to my sanctum?"

"You mean the hedge maze one, the statue?"

Zelda nodded.

"Er yeah, I knew there was more to that place and then I saw the nipple… Goddesses that sounds so wrong out loud" There he was blushing again. He was supposed to be the one with the power now. He slumped back into his chair and took a liberal swig of his wine. The princess chuckled, languidly reaching across to retrieve her own wine glass.

Anxious to close off all escape routes for his wayward princess's possible alibis, Link continued, trying to banish the embarrassment of talking about "seeing nipples" with the small twinge of pride he held at how much he'd pieced together "I did, of course, notice your co-conspirators, the birds, were busy clearing up the final scraps of the pastries you nabbed in the satchel, which you hid beneath that bench. Last but by no means least, there was the stone doorway to the secret passage in the cupboard of the royal kitchen that can only be opened by magic. It emits a low rumble, identical to the one made by the door to your hedge maze hideaway."

"Most observant of you. It's just a pity your senses give you no assistance in deciphering a lady's heart. If so you may have avoided your current predicament."

Okay he was definitely not touching that with a ten-foot pole, not after her last trick. Far better to press his advantage. "Ahem, well regardless of lacking a miracle like that, it does nothing to change the fact you're far guiltier of theft than me."

Placidly sipping her wine, Zelda regarded his statement for a moment before replying evenly "Oh, I am no more guilty of stealing than I am of spreading the rampant, unquellable rumours of our apparent salacious, scandalous affair. Do you seriously think I would put about such outrageous gossip?"

What was the relevance of that?! He had to admit, her spreading such gossip certainly wouldn't make any sense, though it begged the question as to what possessed her to think of inviting him to a private meeting at this time of night. This, however, did nothing to explain why her repeated purloining of chocolate confections didn't seem to count as theft. "Spreading gossip wasn't my point and you know it. How can you sit there and say you weren't stealing when, from what I heard, you swiped those tarts at least five times!"

"I am a princess, I do not swipe anything." She dismissed with theatrical mock haughtiness "I was merely reclaiming what should have rightfully been mine, but which, due to certain dark oppressive forces, I was denied the delectation of consuming."

"Sure, It was your royal right, hence why you did it incognito." Link drawled sarcastically.

"I couldn't have those dastardly dark forces discover my actions."

"You mean the council?"

"Obviously! you have, after all, witnessed just how utterly despicable some of them can be and the depths they would stooped to."

"Yes, but them denying you a dessert, for whatever absurd reason they spun, doesn't even begin to compare to the evil some of them were capable of. Speaking of evil, Weren't those tarts you stole destined for an orphanage?"

Zelda gave a huff of offence yet she broke into a beaming smile as she gave an extraordinary defence with an air of imperious superiority. "Evil! On the contrary I did them a great service, saving those poor orphans from a lifetime of eternal culinary disappointment. Once they tasted such divine delicacies their pallets would be forever spoilt for all other desserts. Also, there was never more than one. Not enough to be shared but enough to be fought over. Imagine the carnage such temptation could bring to a group of impressionable young children. Why, it could start wars. Hence, why I, dutiful, compassionate princess that I am, nobly risked my own safety to ensure that such sinful delectations never blight their innocence."

Link was gobsmacked. He was sure the world had never before witnessed such a refined and musical contribution to the art of talking twaddle. It wasn't the fact she was lying to his face that shocked him. It was the blatant absurdity of it, all carried through with the sweet impish glee of a child, caught red handed, who knows they can operate with impunity because their accuser is already wrapped around their finger.

Her confidence in her charms wasn't misplaced. He should have been furious at her hypocrisy, yet as the drivel she composed sprang forth from her smiling lips, his heart was instantly charmed by its melodious cadence, weaving a web of sweet spritely nonsense that rendered his fury impotent within its tangling threads.

He wanted to be mad. He needed to be mad, just to teach her a lesson. Yet as he met her beaming sapphire gaze, sparkling in the firelight glow and emblazoned with mirth, he found himself fighting a very different madness. The kind that brings a dreamy smile to one's lips or a laugh when there should be none. Nevertheless, he struggled valiantly to mount a protest even as he battled his own cheek muscles to maintain some semblance of severity in his visage.

"Zelda, that's… that's the biggest load of rubbish I ever heard."

"Really! you've cooked up some truly exceptional whoppers in your time… but I'll admit, it was rather spectacular, wasn't it?"

"You don't seem particularly sorry about it."

"And why should I be?"

"Err, because your charging me with something of which you are equally culpable. Some would call that hypocrisy."

"Firstly, the 'tart and sponge incident' is not the crime for which you are being charged. It is merely evidence to demonstrate your incorrigible kleptomania, and secondly it is irrelevant because… I know you'll forgive me by the morning." She winked at him.

Link was losing the battle with his cheek muscles, particularly as Zelda was turning up the heat in them by leaning forward inch by inch with each line. "Rather presumptuous, princess." He replied, barely keeping his growing smile from creeping into his sonorous tones.

"Hmm, on the contrary. I know this because of one simple universal truth."

"and what is that?"

"That a hero will always protect, comfort and forgive his princess and she in turn will be gracious, genuine but most of all, generous in her gratitude and admiration. You… are MY hero and I… am YOUR princess."

"You think it's really so simple."

"Indeed. Furthermore, as an addendum to this cosmic law, it is written that neither hero nor princess ever perform their duties purely for duty's sake. There's always something else at play."

There she goes being all mystical again. What could she be eluding to fate, destiny, the goddesses themselves…

"Love" His heart piped in.

Oh, shut up! As if it hadn't caused enough trouble this evening. Here it was to pester him with yet more ludicrous ideas.

"Ahem" Zelda's harmonious hum brought his attention back to her and away from his infernal inner romantic. She surveyed him with a hint of pensiveness, though the dazzling blue orbs still sparkled with the light of mischief. "Are you waiting for elaboration Link, or expecting me to confess? If it's the former then I'm afraid I must disappoint you. If, however it's a confession you seek, then you can have it, once you've answered one simple question…" Link braced himself for what was bound to follow. "…when did you figure out I was the mysterious Dezalleena?"

Deflection to the expected probe already formulated, Link's tongue caught in his throat when Zelda's actual question, so benign and unobtrusive actually registered. Had the princess granted him a reprieve from the interrogation? It would have been the perfect opportunity to offer some explanation and then hold him to ransom. Well he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he answered… with a lie, naturally.

"Oh, err… probably about a month afterwards."

Zelda gave him a knowing smile and tittered "Hmhmhm, so you really did just figure it out"

"Princess, I…"

"You are an appalling liar Link and it is not remotely surprising, given your clearly displayed disgust at the notion of dishonesty. It's just one of the many reasons I like you so much. I can read you like a book and as you know… I am a consummate bibliophile." Whenever the princess used such long words he only vaguely understood, Link could almost feel the rush of wind through his hair as her statement's revelatory context shot narrowly over his head. From his educated estimation, bibliophile meant book lover, so why did she have to make it sound so suggestive?! Was she trying to imply she already knew his feelings for her? If that were the case she wouldn't interrogate him about it so often. Was it a general warning against him lying during this increasingly preposterous so called "trial"? His heart had its own interpretation but that was nothing more than wishful thinking.

"Well, you may have lied but you nevertheless provided me with the truth in your own roundabout way, so I will provide you with the confession I promised, without your attempted duplicity. Yes, I confess, using the guise of Dezalleena, I snuck into the royal kitchen on numerous occasions and pilfered many a delectable dessert of chocolate and raspberry. I confess, I deprived many a servant or orphan of a once in a lifetime culinary delight and I confess, my only motivation behind such abominable acts was… temptation!" With all the dramatic flourish of an experienced thespian, Zelda delivered the last line as some kingdom shattering reveal.

While the castle was not suddenly struck by earthquakes or volcanic eruptions and such a motivation would be no shock coming from most, to hear it from the princess herself rocked Link's image of her. He'd always considered her to be wholly devoted to the needs and wellbeing of her kingdom… well almost. She could be impulsive every now and then, but never to the extent of engaging in such reckless, selfish actions for such a trivial treat. If one as wise and supposedly pure as she could be tempted by a few inches of chocolate and raspberry then what else could she fall for?

"Is that shock or disapproval on your face, Link, or perhaps both?" She asked with amusement.

He was about to offer a straight answer, when he realised she had just gifted him a chance to call her bluff, or at the very least give her a taste of her own medicine. "I thought you said you could read me like a book?"

"Indeed, I can but I much prefer to hear you say it."

"Well I'd much prefer you enlighten me on what I 'supposedly' think"

"As you wish. You disapprove of my actions, more out of principle and concern for my safety than out of regard for the reactions or opinions of others. What has you truly shaken, though, is the very idea that your angelic, pure, selfless princess succumbed to the temptation of such a frivolous distraction to any extent, let alone such as to inspire drastic measures to sate it." She really could read him like a book.

"This could, of course, lead you to ponder as to what other desires and temptations I can fall victim to? Well I am neither a nun nor a goddess so I can assure you there are plenty of others. If your noble disposition compels you to consider such a revelation reprehensible then know this. Temptation is not the contemptable vice many paint it to be. It merely requires moderation and careful selection, given that it can be sparked by so many things objects… acts… people…" She gave an exaggerated sigh "I yield to my greatest temptation on a daily basis, yet tragically it never seems to take a hint." She leant forward and fixed him with an intense half lidded gaze which, combined with her increasingly honeyed tone, was rapidly creating a localised heatwave. "I bet you're dying to know what it is, aren't you Link? Well I'll tell you when you confess. What tempts you oh so noble hero?"

Her noble hero was having a hard time responding given that his brain was melting and his heart was making another escape attempt. All he could do was stare as Zelda reclined back and, eyes never leaving his, took another nonchalant sip of her wine. He watched powerlessly as the glass, streaked with pink, left her luscious lips and a drop of wine slipped out from between them. Déjà vu…

"I wonder which tastes sweeter?" chimed a devious voice in his head.

A tongue slipped out to catch the rogue drop and the lips smirked devilishly. Links eyes darted back up to the princess's, that were twinkling with delight beneath a veil of feathery lashes. Oh goddesses, had she really just witnessed him staring at her lips?! Why was she laying a hand on his?

"Link, has it not occurred to you that…" Zelda cooed and her knight's heart stopped. "… I owe you yet again for saving me in that kitchen. How can I ever repay your gallantry, dear hero?" Her smirk morphed to a devastatingly sweet smile and she fluttered her delicate lashes like butterfly wings in flight, a dazzling display that left him nearing breaking point. He could feel himself falling.

The was but one viable course of action left.

Throwing caution to the wind, along with the princess's prior advice and all sense of decorum, Link bravely…

and desperately…

snatched up his full wine glass and proceeded to guzzle the lot in a matter of seconds. It probably wasn't the best idea in the long run but the sweet nectar offered some respite from the heat and a welcome distraction. He had the vague feeling he'd tasted it before, but with his brain working on half capacity he couldn't place it. His heart was still thumping like a demented percussion group.

Zelda, meanwhile, slipped back into nonchalant amusement, as though the last five minutes never happened, with nothing more than the quirk of an eyebrow and a coy giggle. She "Helpfully" offered him a refill. "My, my, you really must have been parched Link. We can't have that in your trial. Anyway, I believe we have had enough diversions for now. We really should continue with the evidence…"

Objections would have been bursting forth from his mouth like fireworks were it not for his stolen tongue and melted mind. All he could do was silently curse his traitorous heart and his cruel, confounding yet utterly captivating companion as she delivered her final blow of this engagement.

"We have no time to waste and a lot more evidence to examine. Can you imagine the gossip that would arise from our meeting extending past sunrise? Oh, the scandal!"

Grrr! Zelda! She would be the death of him… and he was strangely fine with that.