A.N: Sorry for the delay, dear readers. Unfortunately, the holiday season rather got in the way of this one's progress. Anyway another chapter is finally finished. Hope everyone's still enjoying it. After all the "high octane" action of the last chapter, prepare for a slower time as Link gets a dose of "reality".
As always feedback is appreciated.
Chapter 16 – Bed rest and broken thoughts
He drifted through darkness on a cloud of blurred sensations, guided by some imperceptible wind. Sometimes the sensations were pleasant, often punctuated by bursts of light that danced around him like fireflies, while others were painful. The most pervasive though was numbness, sheer all-encompassing numbness!
Eternity seemed to stretch out before him, as he was occasionally visited by flashes of memories, dreams or nightmares, many just as indecipherable as the inaudible whispers that briefly reached his ears above the high-pitched ringing that dominated his soundscape. Across seemingly immeasurable time, the memories began to piece themselves together and the numbness gave way to ever growing pain.
Scenes fell into place, slowly but surely revealing a mosaic of his past, both recent and old, in his mind's eye, plastering over the featureless blackness that had once consumed it. As the images built off each other, comprehension finally dawned on him… or so he thought. He'd been in a fight with a giant… but why? And who was this giant? His mental mosaic concealed the man's face in shadow.
A bone chilling laugh ripped through the mental malaise and Link froze, pain increasing by magnitudes as a clear image finally emerged. A giant, clad in ornate armour and wielding a massive blade, loomed ahead of him. Searing red coals, blazing with hatred, were matched by hair and beard the colour of molten lava, all of which highlighted the sickly greyness of the man's skin that twisted into a malevolent sneer.
Then the rest of the scene came into focus and the full weight of his memories came crashing down upon him. The Giant's name was Ganondorf and his image alone made Link's blood run cold. Ganondorf sat astride his horse on a hill above them, casting a surreally large shadow across the rolling field in the harsh orange glow of the twilight, as if he possessed dominion over light itself. Then with another malicious laugh he held up something for Link to see… but it wasn't Midna's crown. It was Midna herself, caught by the neck, seemingly immobile but still breathing, her small chest rising and falling erratically.
Link tried desperately to move, yet his inexplicable pain kept him rooted to the spot. Horror overtook him as the imp's body began to twitch violently in Ganondorf's tightening grasp. In the eerie orange half-light, he could do nothing but bear witness to his friend and companion's last rattling wheezing breaths before a grotesque crunch crushed the last of her life essence and her fragile body lolled limply in the clutches of his nemesis. Link trembled yet the sole muscle that responded to his calls to was his vocal cords, releasing a piercing scream of terror, despair and anger, watching the dark lord cast off Midna's lifeless body like a ragdoll.
Ganondorf turned his attentions to Link, who felt a sudden fervent tug on his arm. "Link, I am too weak to use my powers! I need your help! Please Link, please you're my only hope!" Zelda pleaded and implored in feverish panic, yet he could not respond no matter how he wished to. Her fearful pleas tugged at the remnants of his already mangled heart, compelling action. He couldn't bear to hear such fear from her, yet his entire body remained impotent by inexplicable excruciating pain, combined with some unworldly force seemingly puppeteering him. The puppeteer sought to torture him, having him simply stare blankly at the Dark Lord, now descending upon them on his demonic stead, as the princess continued to beg in vain. As Ganondorf drew closer to them, she began to cry, the most heart wrenching sound he could ever imagine, all while he stood still as a stump, helpless. Why couldn't he do anything? Why was he such a coward? Why couldn't he help her?
The horse struck, sending him flying and robbing his lungs of air, as he tumbled to the ground. The impact seemed to have cut his puppet strings, yet agonising jolts from one ankle rendered him equally as helpless, floundering on the dead grass. He regained his orientation, only to witness Zelda, dress tattering and head bleeding, crawling away from the Dark Lord who dismounted and strode after her. She cried out for Link, her hero, the one who's duty it was to protect her, yet it was futile. He watched as Ganondorf pinned her under his foot, eliciting a ear-piercing scream from her, that in turn brought out a maleficent chuckle. With the princess squirming and crying beneath his boot, the sky turned red and Ganondorf glanced across to the fallen hero. He turned his blade to point at the defenceless princess's back and smiled. "Behold your failure." He sneered and plunged the blade in.
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
Link woke with a jolt, pulse racing, breathing heavily and painfully, sweat dripping down his brow as he frantically scanned his unfamiliar near pitch-black surroundings. Damn it! He thought he'd finally freed himself from those nightmares a month back. He was glad that his cries never escaped from his nightmares to the real world, particularly when he realised his probable location. His many intense aches and bruises quickly brought his real memories flooding back, including his real battle with a different giant, namely Sir Halshaw, that led him here, to what he could only assume was the infirmary.
Accepting Halshaw's challenge had been a monumental blunder and yet it was the princess's wellbeing that concerned him far more than his own, even as every organ and limb of his body cried out for sympathy. In the inky blackness, the sights and sounds of the nightmare pasted themselves over the barren nothingness and he shuddered. Midna's lifeless corpse, Zelda's soul shattering cries and Ganondorf's final line… "Behold your failure."
It was how the nightmares had always been. Ganondorf never gave him the mercy of finishing him first. Indeed, the idea of his own death didn't really scare him half as much as Midna's or Zelda's. Did he even care what happens to himself? He couldn't answer.
Finding himself facing a darkness far more foreboding than that which physically enveloped him, he chose to flee to the relative safety of taking in his new surroundings, now that his eyes were beginning to adjust to the gloom. His nose had clearly recovered as he took in various concoctions laced with such aromas as Parsley, Wormwood and rather disturbingly… turpentine! The faint smell of burning wick and melting wax drifted from his right, and the source flickered in the periphery, the sole light in the dark.
The pitch-black blanket across much of the room informed him it was obviously night, though no clue as to precise time or even date presented themselves. Hopefully he'd only been out a few hours rather than a few days. A row of beds, modest yet clearly more comfortable than his ropey excuse for a bunk back at the barracks, lined the far wall. Glancing either way presented an identical arrangement on his side of the room. At the end of the room to his left, there was a simply decorated stain glass window that distorted the rain drops streaking down the outside, accompanied, he now noticed, by the faint pitter patter on the vaulted roof above. The room was reminiscent of a chapel and just as quiet, the only other sounds being his own decelerating pulse and breathing and, to his right, the scratching of a quill, accompanied by the life signs of its wielder, his sole company. He twisted his head, with considerable discomfort, to observe a lady, illuminated by two candles, scribbling frenetically in a massive tome.
Shuffling to get a better angle, he unintentionally announced his conscious presence, with a creak of the bed. The middle-aged woman, round of both face and body, raised her warm brown eyes to peer at him, over the rim of a pair of wire framed spectacles. "Ah, look who's come round…" She said with a smile that didn't quite match her stern tone, placing the quill back into its residing inkwell with clinical precision and a click of her tongue.
Picking up one of her candles, the only illuminations in the room, she rose from her seat and approached, gathering up some of the folds of her plain bluey grey dress in her free hand. "Greetings, I am Matron Cicile and as you may or may not have realised, you are currently in the castle infirmary, following an unfortunate incident…" Her brusqueness initially rubbed him the wrong way. Drawing closer however, the dancing yellow glow brought into sharp relief the bags under her eyes that hung the weight of weariness on her smile and, given the likely lateness of the hour, he decided he could forgive a little brusqueness. "Rest assured you are safe now and, providing you follow my instructions or those of your nurse…" She broke off briefly and he just caught her mutter "when they actually bother to attend" under her breath before continuing "…you should make a full recovery. Now how are you feeling?" She asked, slightly less terse and approaching genuine sympathy.
Given the matron's temperament, Link decided to forgo a sarcastic response despite its potentially catharsis. His head pounded with every thought, his chest ached with every breath, his wrist stung with every movement and his ankle throbbed regardless. That was discounting his various other bumps and bruises. "Like I just lost of a fight with a giant."
"Hmm, that's certainly not what I heard. Do you remember what happened?"
Link did remember, although he couldn't explain all of it. "Yeah, it's rather hard to forget something like that. Why?"
"You did strike your head quite hard. Memory loss is not unheard of in such circumstances."
"Well I do remember. Thank you"
"I'm glad to hear it, as I'm sure her highness will be too. Now do you have any numbness?"
"No."
"Dizziness?"
"No, although really I wont know until I get up" He attempted to push himself up, in spite of his protesting limbs but was quickly stopped by the Matron's swift and severe admonishment.
"That is absolutely out of the question! In your condition I expect you to stay in that bed for at least the next 5 days minimum, and I will not accept any of your soldier excuses. Believe me, I've heard them all."
5 Days! He often struggled to stay in bed for 5 hours, let alone 5 days! That revelation hurt almost as much as his head did. He slumped back into his pillow with a groan. "So how bad is the damage?"
"One of the worst I've seen after a fight with Sir Halshaw, although just how much of It was a result of the fight rather than your reckless stunt to impress the princess is hard to say…"
"Reckless stunt… to impress Zelda?!"
"Yes, I can hardly think of a better way of describing performing a running jump on a weakened ankle to punch a man twice your height, simply cos he was rude to her."
"I had to protect her!" Link barked indignantly.
"Now, now I didn't mean to start an argument. There's no reason for upset. You are by no means the first young man I've tended to after some noble, if misguided, gesture to impress the princess, or defend her honour or however you wish to call it. There's no shame in…"
"I wasn't defending her honour, I was savi…" He began his ardent defence only for the full implication of the words to catch his pain ridden brain unawares. "Wait, there are men trying to impress the princess?!" He blurted, mouth running on ahead of rational thought
"Of course, however I'll only tell you if you agree to calm down. You have suffered severe injuries and getting agitated will not help either your recovery or my patience. I had been looking forward to an easy day, however the arrival of you and your… comrade turned it into a long and tiring one…" She paused her stern rebuke and gave a beleaguered sigh. "I apologise if I appear harsh, but I really should be home with my family…" with another sigh she gave a brief wistful glance towards the window and the gentle patter of the rain in the night.
"I'm sorry" Link mumbled ruefully.
"I'll forgive you on one condition…"
"Yes?"
"You promise to follow my instructions without protesting. So, if I say you need to stay in bed for five days, you stay in bed five full days. Understood."
"That's asking a lot… but I'll try my best."
"Hmm I suppose that will have to do." She gave a crooked smile and her tone softened. "I've learnt to expect as much from young soldiers. Very well, do you still wish for an answer"
Link nodded slowly, though he instantly regretted it, partly from the pain and partly because his rational side was telling him not to. A jolt shot through his neck and he winced. Receiving a concern frown from the nurse, he did his best to assuage her. "I'm alright, I'm alright"
"Ok" She didn't seem convinced but decided to leave it be and instead give him the explanation he was already regretting asking for. "Frankly I'm surprised that you're so shocked. After all, the princess is powerful, wealthy and is widely considered to be among the most beautiful ladies in the kingdom. More than that, it is her duty to marry as it's the only way for her to become queen and, of course, whoever married her would become king. With such prospects, it's hardly surprising she's swamped with suitors vying for her hand, though having met some of them, I don't envy her choice."
Link barely managed to restrain pulling the face of a man who'd just received a platter of Zora spiced squid when they'd ordered beef steak. Why did that news conjure such a sour taste in his mouth? It wasn't like he had any claim to her. It was the crush, wasn't it? Goddesses, this crush brought forth such stupidity. The sooner he exorcised it the better. Time to get this conversation back on track.
"Ahem anyway back to the real point…" he started with his best air of disinterest, only to spy the look on the matron's face. It spelling out in bold letters "You're not fooling anyone, don't think I didn't spot that!", prompting another internal groan. He shouldn't have asked about the suitors. Now she'll have completely the wrong idea. "look, I didn't punch Halshaw for Zelda's honour. I did it to save her life."
"Save her life?"
"Yes! I saw that bastard had something sharp in his hand and he was heading for the princess! I had to act."
The matron's thin lips twitched and her wiry chestnut brows met in cooperative disbelief. "So, you're suggesting that Sir Halshaw intended to walk up and stab her royal highness in front of over a hundred of her loyal legion. Come now, I know some among the nobility can be cocky and some dislike Her Highness, but none would be that foolhardy or treacherous. Besides the only thing he had in his hand was ground up wood splinters from a broken arrow."
A broken arrow? Then the rupee dropped with the shame of a hundred days of the "Bernard haircut" and he cursed his own stupidity. He'd seen Halshaw pick it up, yet in his rage filled haze, it had completely slipped his mind, not that his mind even had much input by that point anyway. Nevertheless, wooden splinters weren't completely harmless. They could be downright annoying if caught in the wrong places. Plus, the man was crazy, who knew what he'd do! Not to mention he was the personification of the nob in nobility. There you go! Punching him was still entirely justified!
"Well as far as I was concerned, he was dangerous and mad. Who knew what he would do." Link countered.
"No matter how mad, I think we can rule out treason. Thanks to your "defence" of her Highness, I finally had the immense displeasure of meeting the man responsible for a sizable number of my patients…"
"Then surely you got a taste of how mad he is?"
Cicile shook her head. "Mad… no. While I would agree he's a despicable blaggard, short of both temper and good manners, he did not strike me as mad or a fool. Certainly not enough to commit treason in clear view of hundreds of witnesses or to even consider such a thing. Now if you are looking to justify your actions to me, there's no need. I am not here to judge you. I am here to treat you, and as far as my medical opinion is concerned, this topic is not healthy as it clearly agitates you."
Link's head may have been pounding, as if trampled by King Bulbin's Boar, but that didn't dull his mind enough to miss the hypocrisy of her statement of not judging him. What had she just been doing if not judging him? He ultimately decided to let it slide simply to avoid another argument. She wanted to change topic. Ok, how about actually answering his original question! "Alright then. How bad are my injuries?"
"Pretty severe, however fortunately for you, hero, her highness holds you in high regard already…" Link could fill in the blanks enough to read the additional unspoken line of "without your crazy stunt". What struck him most was the realisation that this was the first time the matron had used his hero title and she'd yet to use his name. She continued "… and was willing to assist with your healing. Had she not, the injuries would have probably meant the end of your military career. When you arrived you had…" She took a deep breath as if preparing to burst into song "… a fractured arm, a broken wrist, two cracked ribs, two broken toes, a broken ankle and a broken nose, along with numerous minor cuts and bruises…"
Damn! That explains why he felt like he'd just rolled down death mountain naked… Hey, wait a minute… why was he in nothing but his drawers and a bed sheet?! "Hey, what happened to my clothes?!" He blurted, tugging the bedsheet up.
"Well, as I was about to say, Her Royal Highness used her magic to help heal the worst of those injuries, however apparently such spells did not work through your clothes…" Link was grateful to the low light for concealing the blush that followed. Zelda had seen him practically naked! The matron, seemingly oblivious to his embarrassment, continued sternly "Now before you complain about why it still hurts; she was only able to speed up your bone regrowth. She could do little to heal the swelling which is why it will likely be painful for the next month. As to your bones, Her royal highness informed me that they will still take 5 days to fully heal, so you can consider those 5 days an order from her highness herself." She paused and her tone mellowed, coming closer to the natural warmth he'd initially glimpsed in her weary brown eyes. "Even if duty to your royal sovereign doesn't compel you, perhaps advice from a friend will."
Link blinked, a little taken aback. Unsure whether it was wise to admit it, particularly with fiasco that their friendship seemed to have wrought since it was proclaimed back in Ordon, he decided to play dumb. "A friend?"
"Her royal highness." She responded placidly, though her knowing smile told him the jig was up. The question was how did she know and just how close did she think they were? Please don't say Halshaw convinced her something was going on between them!
"What makes you think that a man like me could possibly be friends with Zelda, a princess?" He tried to evade, despite intuition warning him of its futility.
"Well she certainly cares about you, and I'd say your actions speak for themselves. You're clearly on a first name basis, given how easily you let it slip without her title." Her knowing smile widened, revealing the laughter lines and crinkles round her eyes that had been notable absent until now.
Damn she was right! Something to watch out for in future, if he didn't want rumours running rampant. He turned his attention back to the matron and tried to glean some clue as to her inevitable judgement on their friendship. What he could gather surprised him. "You don't disapprove?" He asked cautiously.
"No" she answered earnestly with a shake of her head, causing her spectacles to slip ever so slightly down towards the tip of her small nose. "I have not been honoured with her highness's presence on many occasions, however there have been times, particularly in the immediate aftermath of the… invasion, where she sacrificed her sparse moments of freedom to aid those at the infirmary. During those times, not only did I truly come to see her wisdom, her compassion and her kindness, but also, I caught a glimpse of another side of her. One she desperately tries to bury, but as a mother of two… er, a daughter…"
Her eye flickered to the window, the steady pitter patter of the rain filling in the silence as she stared off into the sombre darkness. In the solitary flickering flame of the candle her profile cracked as shadows scratched her brows with wrinkles and her eye seemed to sink into their sockets, consumed by inky black. Link caught the tremor in her voice and draw a seemingly inescapable conclusion. Nightmare Ganondorf's words echoed in his mind "Behold your failure". Did he fail her daughter? The grief touched woman clearly wished to avoid such a question as she gulped hard and continued, the tremor still cracking her, previously steady, alto tones. "… it's taught me to read the signs of young ladies' hearts and through all her composure and compassion, I saw… that her highness was terribly lonely. I also saw how she looked at you. Given the kindness she has shown me, I wouldn't deny something that clearly offered her some peace from her own troubles…"
For all her previous shirtiness with himself, Link was left in no doubt of her reverence for their young ruler, which made it surprising that she could be so candid with Zelda's loneliness. Before he had any chance to dwell on the implications, Matron Cicile offered an enigmatic warning. "I would however say… don't crossing the line."
Link strongly suspected he knew the line she was speaking of but he nevertheless decided to fish for clarification. "The line?" He queried.
Clearly aware of his intentions, her eyes narrowed and she regained some of her earlier sternness, though it was thankfully tempered by the far kinder spirit that he sensed lay beneath the world worn and weary exterior. "Yes, the line that Sir Halshaw spent half his words trying to insinuate you'd already crossed."
Link was about to launch into defence when her next line allayed his offense. "I'm not saying I believe that blaggard's stories. After all he may carry a noble bloodline but at heart he seems to be an uncouth cretin. I consider his stories as just that… fiction. That doesn't mean though that such things couldn't develop."
"Please!" Link couldn't resist scoffing. "How could that happen. I may be the goddesses' chosen hero, but I am still short on stature, status and charm. Zelda would never be so foolish as to fall for a guy like me, regardless of my achievements."
"Don't be so sure, besides as I once heard the princess say "love can make fools of even the wisest of hearts" and as I've witnessed myself… loneliness can be a powerful force to the heart of any young lady." Her voice fell away and she once again turned her gaze off to the rain speckled glass. The faint tapping of the drops became the sole sound in the deserted chamber, as they both stared off unseeing into the opaque carpet of blackness, her seemingly lost in memory, him lost in thought.
He'd seen that loneliness himself when he'd gazed into Zelda's eyes following her sudden collapse at the discovery of her uncle's survival. Indeed, it had been one of the defining factors that drove him to his fateful decision to accept her offer, turning his own life on its head. Yet despite its monumental impact, he had not dared to bare much thought as to the extent of her isolation. As Princess she may be surrounded and swamped with acquaintances, but how many of them did she really count as anything more? How many could she trust to be anything more?
The flash of wire rimmed spectacles in the flicker of the candle informed Link that eyes were once again upon him and he shifted his gaze back to the sombre matron, who gave a heavy sigh. "Now I fear I have taken us from the most important matter at hand. How are you feeling? Any particular severe pain or symptoms that do not fall within your diagnosed injuries?"
"No"
"Do you require any food or drink? Do you require use of a chamber pot?"
A chamber pot?! Oh Goddesses no! Such an issue had completely slipped his mind but the realisation brought a new shade of red to Link's face. Surely, he wouldn't require assistance just to evacuate his bladder! The very idea that he was brought so low as to need help taking a leak, was repulsive, both to his independent nature and his pride. Mercifully he didn't need to go at that moment but the thought of facing such a situation in the near future almost drove him to dismiss moistening his parched throat. Ultimately though, he surrendered to the inevitable fact that even he couldn't last five whole days without any form of sustenance and asked for a drink. Given how he was feeling, even his starch stiff moral stuffiness considered some strong alcohol might be preferable, but of course water was the only thing on menu.
As the Matron slipped off to the far corner and the sound of a tap drowned out the subtle percussion of raindrops, Link took another moment to take in the room he'd be spending the next five days trapped in. The exertion of doing so prompted more protests from his battered body and he once again berated himself for taking on Halshaw in the first place. Not that the man would have taken no for an answer. His survey of his surroundings revealed nothing new, only serving to highlight every bump and break, making it clear that for now at least he was, well and truly, bed ridden! He'd never been this bad on his adventure and he'd arguable taken worse beatings then. Why was he so pathetic now?
Of course, the answer was obvious. On his adventures, he had his wolf "curse" which, he suspected, had also granted him superior resilience and strength along with his heightened senses. Then there was the tri-force of courage that likely came with additional powers of strength, powers all but absent since Ganondorf's downfall. He sometimes wondered whether he still even possessed it, as he hadn't witnessed it's tall-tale glow on his hand and he'd seemingly lost much of the mysterious fire that had driven him to his greatest triumphs. Was he no longer worthy or was it that the goddesses only gifted it for the time in which it was needed? Zelda, being the ruler of the kingdom would always need the Tri-force of wisdom, but he… did he need it?
Another stab of pain from his ankle brought his thoughts back to his injuries. On his adventures he would have simply drank a healing potion and… of course! A healing potion! Why hadn't that been his very first thought? How had it not been the matrons first thought on him waking up? Just give him one of those and he'd be out of her curly hair in a matter of hours!
The sound of footsteps and growing light told him Cicile was returning, baring the gift of a mug of water in one hand and her candle in the other. "Here you are. Now I know this is probably a sting to your pride as a strong and capable warrior but I think it best that I help you with this, at least until your wrist is healed." She said, voice firm but laced with sympathy as she placed down the candle on the side table and brought the mug towards Link's lips.
She was right. It did sting his pride. "It's only my right wrist that's injured. I'm not completely incapable of using my left, thank you!" He immediately regretted his tone but his weary companion seemed to have expected it and, fortunately, didn't take offence, instead simply offering him a doubtful look as she reluctantly handed him the mug. "If you insist, but know that there's no shame in asking for help."
On taking the mug, he wished he had taken her offer as the arm throbbed from the strain on several bruised muscles, causing a slight tremble as he brought it up to his lips. As he tipped the surprisingly weighty vessel back, the tremble grew and for every sip that made it, another escaped down his front. He lowered the vessel briefly before trying again with the same result. How pathetic! On his adventures he wouldn't have had this problem. Upon pulling away from his second attempt, Cicile intervened, prizing the mug from the thoroughly despondent heroes hands with only minor resistance.
"You aren't the first I've had to help like this, Link." She spoke softly with a sympathetic smile, perching on the edge of the bed and guiding the mug to his mouth. Link's eyes flicked from the mug to her face as she finally said his name. "I'm not surprised someone like you would be reluctant to accept help, given your history of remarkable escapades…" She gave a wry chuckle at his expression. "Yes, her highness told me of a few of them. Quite extraordinary…" Her voice trailed off and once again her eyes briefly wandered to the window.
The next minute passed wordless and still as she helped him drink, the occasional flicker of the candles and the dancing shadows they produced, the sole noticeable movements in the otherwise frozen space.
The Matron finished with a barely stifled yawn. "If you require any food or any other assistance then please call upon me or another nurse… when they finally arrive." She huffed, glancing off towards the doorway briefly, before turning her attention back to her patient, rising from the bed. "In the meantime, if that is all, I would advise trying to get some sleep... Link."
"Thank you but actually, there is something else. Why didn't you just give me a healing potion? It would make things easier for both of us."
"Ha, you speak as though healing potions just grow on trees." She scoffed before correcting her manner. "I'm sorry, but healing potions are highly expense, difficult to make and their ingredients are notoriously hard to come by. We only have a very limited supply, which is reserved for patients whose injuries are life threatening and even then, only certain afflictions can be treated with it."
Link groaned in pain and defeat, resigning himself to his medically imposed confinement as he sank back into his bed which gave a conciliatory creak in response.
"Believe me, there is nothing I'd wish for more than a cheap and plentiful miracle cure but alas, as I'm sure you know, the world is not so kind." Another yawn stretched her tired face.
"Now is there anything else?"
"No"
"Then please, get some rest" With a tired smile and a curtsey, she retrieved her candle and returned to her desk. As the candlelight drifted away, Link was enveloped once more in the blanket of night.
It didn't, however, prompt him to succumb to sleep as he lay staring at the vaulted ceiling, his mind a maelstrom over the past day's events, while his body complained bitterly at its treatment. He shuffled restlessly beneath the sheet, trying to find some position that offered some small respite to his aching limbs, finally settling on a position lying on his side facing the window, just visible through the gloom over the long row of beds.
While his body was now subdued, it did little to calm his turbulent thoughts, which tumbled tumultuously through his consciousness, like a trip down the Zora rapids on a plank of driftwood. Indeed, the sense of nauseum was comparable, although he couldn't be sure whether it was from his swirling thoughts whipping the sides of his already aching cranium or his two fractured ribs straining from the onslaught of his slightly ragged breathing. Regardless of the pain, he knew all too well that he would get no rest until he did his best to straighten out some of those troublesome ideas pervading his consciousness.
It was probably sensible to start at the beginning. Why had he accepted Halshaw's challenge? Well that was obvious! He'd let his overconfidence, built through his spotless sparring record and his comrade's admiration, convince him that he still possessed a modicum of the man he'd been when he saved Hyrule. His current situation, bed ridden and helpless, crushed any delusions of that. He wouldn't deny that he was a superior swordsman to most but were a threat, comparable to Ganondorf or the twilight, to rise again… he would lose without the goddesses' intervention. Without their power, was he anything more than a nobody who happens to handle a blade well? He squeezed his eyes shut.
"Well the princess clearly doesn't think that…" Came a familiar lilting voice and as his lids flickered back open, Link was greeted by a pair of glowing orange orbs, watching him through the gloom and seconds late the vision of the mischievous imp swam into focus perching casually on the edge of the adjacent bed. "… and could you really see ANY of your friends thinking so lowly of you? What about me? Could you picture me saying something like that?"
"You are just part of my subconscious. What would you know of what the real Midna would think?!" Link mentally snapped at this cheap imitation of his friend, hoping if he channelled enough annoyance through his icy blue gaze, he could banish it.
"A darn sight more than you it would seem!" The imitation replied in Midna's characteristic snarkiness, frustratingly unaffected by his death glare. "Besides, you're clearly letting negativity take the reins here, if that's your conclusion. And to think that your mischievous streak is the most level-headed part of that mothball of a brain! It certainly wasn't overconfidence that led to us getting pummelled. Our only mistake was trusting that "Sir Cocksure" had an ounce of decency and fairness in him and not taking Zelda's warnings about the court seriously enough. The drumming we received was merely because we weren't prepared to play as dirty as him… at least not intentionally. Outside of when that wild force took over, I'd say we treated him pretty lightly."
Naturally, being part of his subconscious, Link already knew the trajectory this mental debate was heading, yet he couldn't suppress intrigue as to the theories of his admittedly more imaginative side, imaginative in multiple senses of the word. "So, any theories on this wild force?" he asked though he already had an idea of the answer.
"Well, most likely it's somehow linked to the wolf curse."
Scanning through his memories, thoughts and reminiscences; both from the two appearances of this beast within, along with his times scampering across Hyrule in the form of one, he had to admit there were definite similarities. In wolf form he had often felt a trace of feral instinct gnawing at the strings of his consciousness, a sensation superficially comparable to that of the beast… but nowhere near as concentrated or all consuming.
Then there was the beast's motivation, which appeared to stand firmly apart from his wolfish counterpart. The wolf simply wanted freedom from the inhibitions of society; freedom be howl, freedom do run, freedom to partake in the full gambit of life… and its many "interesting" aromas. Link shuddered at the thought of some of the "interesting" things he'd stuck his nose in…
His imp companion grimaced "Best not to dwell on that, aye!"
He couldn't help but agree. The trouble was that left him venturing into the less gross but equally awkward motivations of the beast. Luckily any ponderings on that particular jar of worms was saved by the sudden creaking of the door quickly followed by some curt whispers from the matron, and some chagrined replies from a younger lady, who he could only assume was the nurse she'd been bemoaning the lateness of.
"Where in Hyrule have you been? I sent for you two hours ago!" The matron's tongue clicked harshly as she endeavoured to combine severity and serenity.
"Errr… I had… other duties… ma'am" The nurse replied, noticeably hesitant.
"Other duties?! What that's supposed to me… ah, so you've been seeing that soldier again, have you?" No effort was made to hide the disapproval in her voice.
"…"
"Have you?"
"… Yes Ma'am" Came the mumbled response.
"Mark my words young lady, this affair will do you no good. Soldiers will always leave you broken hearted, one way or another, be it from their own wayward desires or by the blade of a sword."
The nurse's huff of resignation made it clear this probably wasn't the first or even the second time she'd heard this lecture. With the lecture continuing unabated in the background, Link was busy pondering why talk of romance, of one sort or another seemed to follow the female of the species round like a bad rash. Even Ashei couldn't seem to escape that affliction entirely.
"Hey, you know what they say. Love makes the world go round." Chirped the imitation Midna with nauseating cheeriness.
"That doesn't mean it needs bringing up in every conversation." Link snapped back.
"It's not in EVERY conversation. You, Mr Stick-in-the-mud, just have an allergic reaction to it, though I know it's really because you're a hopeless romantic and all talk of it leaves you pining for your precious princess."
"Grrrr!"
"You can't deny it. We are of one mind after all. I'm just the part that's willing to admit it. Anyway, on the topic of the princess and growling…" The insufferable imaginary imp didn't need to finish as he already knew the implications… His new beast side was seemingly somehow connected to Zelda. The mystery was how? And Why?
As much as he had done his best to deny it to Matron Cicile, it appeared that she hadn't been entirely wrong with her assertion of defending the Princess's honour. The only times the beast had been stirred from its slumber had all occurred after Zelda's name was tarred by some odious toff, be it Sir Halshaw or his father back at Ordon. Rather disturbingly, it would seem that the beasts influence had grown by leaps and bounds since the Ordon incident. What had been little more than an urge to growl at the insufferable Lord had evolved into the rage fuelled force of nature, capable of hijacking his body and subjugating rational thought, and all because of badmouthing Zelda. The wolf inside had never really had a chance to make any sort of connection with the princess, only have met her twice. All this pointed to it being an entity or force entirely separate from his wolf instinct.
"We can't dismiss that for sure." Chipped in his imaginary friend.
"Why not?"
"Do you not remember what it was like in the immediate aftermath of the mirror's destruction and… her departure. The wolf didn't just disappear quietly into the twilight… and who was the one to calm it."
"That had nothing to do with the wolf curse!" Link came close to actually vocalising his stressed response, just about holding his tongue from shouting.
"Really!" The imp's eyebrows shot up in blatant disbelief.
He'd been called out. The truth was he couldn't know for sure some of the restless, pained anguish that had enveloped his entire being following Midna's sudden departure wasn't a result of his wolf side. In the constricting, suffocating hours of escorting her back across the harsh desert from the arbiter's grounds, even as Link struggled to hide his own imploding psyche, Zelda had somehow found a way to console and comfort him. Despite them being barely more than acquaintances, even then she had possessed the ability to seemingly read his inner most thoughts and offer the perfect words. She had even implied some sort of offer of a position when they'd reached what remained of Castletown, yet he was only too desperate to draw as much distance between them as possible, rejecting and running away… like a coward. He'd told himself that it was because of her possession by Ganondorf and that she would stand as a reminder of all the most horrible parts of his adventure, yet their reunion and their cautious but burgeoning friendship stood as testament to how wrong that was.
Had he ever even truly believed that reasoning or was it just an excuse, to escape the real fear, the fear of Zelda's inexplicable power to read his most private thoughts. Had that been his true cowardice? Running because he felt vulnerable?!
He was about to descend into another round of deep rumination when his pounding head decided it prudent to remind him of its injured state, via the sensation of his skull being crushed in a slamming door. Ow! All this thinking was getting painful.
"Well you wouldn't be doing so much of it if you stayed on topic!" Midna chided. "My point was that Zelda has had contact with your wolf form and that could be the connection we're looking for. It's not much but the only other option on table is… your crush on her!"
Why did it always seem to come back to that?! It was just a stupid infatuation based on her beauty that, like all immature notions from saccharine romance novels, would fade with time. Besides, connecting such a thing to the beast was both absurd and disturbing. Hadn't the mischievous mirage ever heard of bestiality?! He shuddered.
"Hey, I wasn't suggesting your wolf form was somehow attracted to her in THAT way! Simply that whatever this beast is, it could be fuelled by one of your strongest emotion…"
"This crush is not my strongest emotion!"
"Oh please! How many times have your thoughts turned to her since your last meeting aye?! And don't try to claim that on those occasions where your feet mysteriously carried you to the royal garden it was just to smell the roses. No, you were sniffing out a rather different perfume."
Link let out an audible groan of annoyance, which mercifully wasn't picked up by his two carers. He wanted to roll over in the vain hope that the imp would simply disappear and he could be left to ruminate in peace, but intuition told him of the futility and his bones warned him of the consequences of movement. His stomach expressed a similar sentiment and he had no desire to require a change of pillow. He contented himself to intensifying his death glare, narrowing his heavy eyes to slits, resulting in the ghostly outlines of the room and the regimental rows of beds dissolving into the darkness of the night. All that remained was the silhouette of his imitation imp, turned tormentor, and the unworldly orange glow of lantern like eyes accosting his attention in the inky black.
"Really, no answer. You're just going to glare at an empty bed." The imp chuckled "How childish. Oh well, guess I should take your silence as admittance of defeat…"
Link broke his gaze from the vision to fling his eyes round in their sockets, like dice in a cup, before snapping internally "Hardly! I simply didn't consider your point worthy of addressing, but as you insist, I only did it twice and that was cos I was deep in thought."
"Sure, sure, be dour and dreary and deny it. Some day you'll have to accept that you can't tame your heart any more than you can tame that beast inside."
Finally! Can we get back to the real issue of the beast!
"How do you know those two aren't linked, Hmm?"
"Because they're not! My feelings for the princess… whatever they may be, are minor compared to that beast's influence… at least when it wakes."
"That doesn't mean they aren't connected!"
"Soooo… if they are than that's good news, because it means it should fade away soon enough, once I get over this crush and move on. It's not like I see her much." Even as the line shot through his brain, Link had to confess a slight doubt, just a very slight doubt…
"And if you don't get over it?" His companion asked, tone and manner encapsulating that doubt and magnifying it.
"Well, in that unlikely event… I'm doomed."
Midna tutted "Not necessarily. You heard the matron. Perhaps the princess will feel the same way."
Link unthinkingly gave a sudden loud snort of dismissal, which was immediately followed by the scraping of a chair and the shuffling of fabric approaching across the floor. Damn, he hadn't intending on attracting the attention of the nurse. With some quick thinking and some masterful nasal vocalisation, he produced a raucous reverberating snore followed by two progressively quieter masterstrokes of airway clearing obscenity. The soft footfalls and shuffling cloth ceased just shy of his back and he could just catch the warm glow of the candle over his shoulder.
"Sir Link?" The nurse called out softly and hesitantly. Link didn't reply, instead closing his eyes and feigning a deep sleep. The façade was almost scuppered by the shock of a cool soft palm pressing gently to his forehead. He remained still and a few seconds later the nurse and the light that accompanied her withdrew leaving him once again in the dark. Nevertheless, Link kept his eyes closed and let the outside world fade away.
He'd had enough of the mirage of his old friend driving him up the wall with fanciful and delusional ideas, although coming from a vision created by his own subconscious perhaps that was to be expected. Seriously though, if that was a manifestation of his childhood mischief, born again through Midna's influence, why did it have to be so absurdly optimistic?
"Why can't I be both?" her voice echoed in his head. "You certainly have a habit of neglecting both."
The line struck him such that he was left with no reply. It was true, a far greater casualty of his growing up and particularly his adventures was the eternal optimism with which he faced everything life threw at him. Then again, life had never thrown a nightmare like the twilight his way before. Really, could he be blamed for discarding such a naïve viewpoint? They say ignorance is bliss and he was certainly ignorant before destiny came and dragged him through the mire. He'd just gained a better perspective. He was just a realist.
"Yawn. That's getting real old." Came Midna's sarcastic drawl.
"No. What's getting old is certain parts of my brain insisting on encouraging thoughts of a relationship with absolutely no potential and no chance of it ever actually amounting to anything. You heard the Matron! You've seen the carnage the mere suggestion of it has wrought! And I can think of a hundred different reasons why the princess would never fall for me! So please, if you have nothing else sensible to add, do me a favour and piss off!"
All fell silent and Link suddenly found himself racked with guilt, wishing he wasn't alone, bruised and broken with no one to confide in. He knew It wasn't really Midna, yet he couldn't help feeling disgusted at his behaviour all the same. Goddesses, had he really become so bitter that he would attack the essence of his own child self? Was that even his child self or was he just slowly tipping over the edge into madness. Many would argue that bickering with an imaginary version of a dear departed friend was ample justification for labelling a man as insane!
To add frustration to his restless mind, his argument had been anything but productive, leaving him with more questions than he had when he started. With the world shut out however, the cold tendrils of exhaustion finally began to coil round him and drag him towards the abyss of sleep, despite his protests. After all, he now knew that nightmares still lurked in the dark corners. "Behold your failure" reverberated in his ears like rolling thunder and he shuddered. Would he once again have to fear sleep?
All he could do was hope and pray that he didn't find them. His one thought of comfort was that maybe, just maybe this bitterness along with his overactive imagination was a result of his pounding skull and bruised body. The answers may arrive come morning…
Hopefully…
Possibly…
Unlikely…