A.N: Welcome back my wonderful readers! Hope you're are all safe and well and raring to dig into another chapter of hijinks, with Link facing the princess after the "eventful" ceremony. What will happen? You'll have to find out!
As always thanks to those who left reviews or feedback. It's always appreciated so please if you have something to say about the story feel free to leave a comment. It helps spur me on!
Now without further ado… on with the story!
Chapter 26 - Unwelcome Ultimatums
Royal Wing entrance hall – 275 days A.G
Link couldn't help but recognise the irony that he felt like he was coming in the wrong way. Being so used to entering through the kitchens, suddenly being confronted with the extravagant and imposing main entrance not only made him abnormally nervous but also hammered home the fact that he was on his way to speak with the sovereign of the kingdom. Zelda's status and title never fully escaped his notice but over the months of secret meetings, long lectures and friendly fracases, the vast gulf in their stations had slipped from the forefront of his mind to the backroads, roads still travelled regularly but seemingly lacking the same all-consuming significance.
Now, as the two royal guards bowed and the opulent oak doors yawned open to admit him, that gulf was all too apparent once more. Apprehension was seeping into every limb, encouraging his same old nervous tick, rather less effective with a sagging steel gauntlet compared to the tight leather bracers he usually wore. Fortunately, he had at least divested the gauntlet of its illegal cargo, which was now back in his satchel where there was no risk of unwarranted ejection.
Was it his faux pas as a result of trying to keep it hidden which prompted Zelda to summon him? He shot a glance at his escort, Neela, who, while as cheerful as ever, remained annoyingly unforthcoming about the whole affair.
He took in the grand décor; the luxurious red carpet, the intricate tapestries and exquisite works of art and his thoughts flitted back to the class chasm between him and Zelda. Of course, with his recent promotion, that chasm had been closed somewhat but by how much? Would it effect how people treated him? He hoped not! The only exception would be if it could reduce the level of contempt many of the nobles apparently held for him. Ha, fat chance of that! Knowing his luck, the opposite was the far more likely outcome.
What about Her Royal Highness herself? Would Zelda treat him any different? Doubtful. Would he treat her differently? Not if he could help it. He was used to their friendship now and the only two changes he could think of both induced a deep dizzying whirlpool of embarrassment and shame. Either his heart would get too carried away or his new title could go to his head. True, the chances of the latter were about as likely as Ashei proudly proclaiming a love of fashion, sewing and other girly things, but, given his disgust for pomposity and egotism, the mere possibility was nauseating. The other option was far more likely and far more concerning.
Knock! Knock!
"Your Highness, I've brought Sir Link, as requested"
Ok. Back to the situation at hand. Time to see whether Zelda had some choice words for him regarding his less than perfect oath recital. If she didn't, he certainly had some for her regarding her reckless decision to abandon her heavily guarded castle for a jaunt to Kakariko Village.
"Very good Neela. Please show him in." The instant her voice; dulcet, composed and soothing as always returned through the door his resolve began to falter. Damn it, he still had to work on his resistance to her voice. True, it was a godsend when he needed calming but totally unfair when he should be justifiably mad at her. Still, the fire was not extinguished entirely. He would have his say.
Link entered the now familiar study to the quintessential sight of the princess's perpetual existence, sat behind her desk, swamped in a sea of bills, books and bulletins. For a tense minute her sapphire gaze did not rise from the document in her hands, prompting more awkward gauntlet tugging from the hero as he awaited her acknowledgement. Eventually she lowered the parchment with a weary sigh.
"Good day Sir Link…" Uh oh, she was being formal! "May I once again congratulate you on your promotion and title…" her tone was cordial, if somewhat dry, but her eyebrows warned of possible approaching rain. "and I greatly value the words and sincerity of your oath… however…"
Seeing the approaching storm, Link decided to try and dissipate it's intensity by tackling it head on. "Look Zelda, I'm sorry about the oath. I know I messed up. I was just nervous… and somewhat distracted by other things."
Zelda let out another sigh, this time speaking of frustration and disappoint but not, surprisingly, any semblance of anger. Her warning brows softened and she gave him an almost rueful smile. "Hmm, I know, I know. Such speeches can be daunting to many, especially ones such as yourself, not couched in the pomp, propriety and public ceremony the court demands. I was honestly impressed you were able to recall the entire oath with nary a stumble or missed word. Clearly your practice paid off. Unfortunately, stumbling over your lines would have likely been a more forgivable sin to the nobles than the performance of a practiced professional who has been suddenly caught short for the latrine…" That isn't quite how he'd have described it "or who does not care for the immense honour the oath entails and simply wished to get it over with. Either way, there are many among the nobles who will judge it as a grave slight against me and the esteemed position I have offered you."
"I'm sorry Zelda, I know I bungled it and hope you do realise just how grateful I am for the position you've given me. I do remember your lessons and I know how it would look to some but…um, didn't you also tell me that most of them would judge me poorly regardless of my actions, in which case… does it really matter?"
"Link, having them judge you poorly is one thing, supplying them with evidence to support said judgements is quite another! ..." Zelda snapped in an all too familiar tone of jaded frustration which had accompanied the ending of so many of her more complex – at least as far as he was concerned – political lectures. However, just like those flashes of irritation, this one was equally brief. He sometimes wondered whether this was simply the princessly persona commanding her composure or whether, just possibly, he held a similar power over her as she had over him. Bah, as if! The only reason she had that power over him was his bloody heart's infatuation with her. The chances of it being mutual… only in fairy tales!
Thoughts of fairy tales were quickly banished with a huff and a shake of the head from Zelda. "No matter, the consequences are far from insurmountable. Besides I have a feeling it will be your raised wrist which will turn out to be their primary source of crafted outrage, not to mention the latest topic of court-wide gossip…" She gave a beleaguered sigh. "Honestly Link, you had it perfect. You clearly remembered. Why did you suddenly change it?"
"Um, a nervous twitch. I had a lot on my mind." He mumbled. Well, it wasn't technically a lie. He had been incredibly nervous and his mind was occupied. He just wasn't about to reveal the sharp object responsible for said nerves.
"Hmm?" Zelda's sapphire blues probed him suspiciously. Then came a gleam. "The Hero of Hyrule, who barely flinched when confronting giants, who remained unwavering in the face of seemingly impossible odds and who accomplished more than any other man alive… and yet he is overcome when holding the hand of a princess."
Link went scarlet. "What! it's not like that at all!"
"Then pray, tell me what it is about? What could possibly be on your mind, oh red faced hero, to cause such an elementary slip up?"
"Well, um, errr…" he stammered, still reeling from the princess's tease. Hang on! Why tease him now? Just a moment ago she was admonishing him and now she's suddenly all "playful"? What was she… of course! She hadn't bought a word of his excuse but knew all too well the effects of her teasing. She was toying with him, trying to throw him off his already subpar lying game. Well at least she wasn't tickling him this time!
His heart skipped a beat at the thought. Now was not the time to get excited! … And why in all the ruddy realms of existence would the thought of being tickled by the princess be considered exciting?! His heart was truly crazy. Speaking of madness, now was precisely the time to vent his frustration at her reckless sightseeing jaunt in the wake of a threat to her life. His passionate ire – if he could actually summon it in her presence – would bolster the lie and the change of topic could well distract her. Two birds, one stone!
"How about finding out the princess you've sworn to protect has been keeping secret a rash and irresponsible jaunt to Kakariko Village, flouting her safety even in the wake of a potential threat on her life! Seriously, Zelda, I'm supposed to be your bodyguard! Why didn't you tell me?"
Zelda was briefly taken aback but recovered quickly. "Hmm, I expected Folsir to be the issue. You were remarkably fixated on him, and not without cause."
So, he was right?! Folsir had been up to no good and, from the sounds of it, Zelda knew precisely what it was. "Um, well that too…" his righteous choler faltered momentarily with the prospect of finding out the truth of that unscrupulous servant, however it soon reasserted itself with the reminder that, unlike that traitor, Zelda's secretive "vacation" plans were still very much a clear and present danger. Also, he couldn't deny a sting of betrayal at being personally and deliberately kept uninformed. "… but that can wait until you tell me why you kept me in the dark? I'm supposed to protect you. How can I do that when I don't even know what your plans are?!"
"As you wish. I suppose that item can be moved forward on the agenda, however I will still want the full truth… that is, if I still have your trust. Please understand that It was never my intention to harm your trust and that it was always in my plan to inform you. Indeed, briefing you on the trip is actually the essential purpose in my summoning you here now. I simply felt it best to wait until after the ceremony to inform you."
"Why?"
"Because the ceremony would be stressful enough for both of us without the additional worries such information would doubtless have on you and the strain your inevitable protests would doubtless have on me. I considered it the expedient choice… but that did not make it any easier keeping it from you."
"My inevitable protests?!"
"Are you saying you do not object to my visiting Kakariko Village?"
"Of course I do! It's reckless and unnecessary. One of your advisors or a member of the council could easily do the task. Have you forgotten about the masked man and his message? He's still out there!"
"Yes, and he shall remain at large as long as he remains quiet. Link, it has been over two months without any further appearances and all investigations have turned up precious little, unless your efforts have borne fruit of which I was not aware?" She knew as well! Ok. If Lord Halshaw could find out about his investigations then it really shouldn't have come as any surprising Zelda found out too.
"… No." Link mumbled, shaking his head in defeat. He could sense another imminent crushing defeat at the hands of the princess's impeccable debating abilities and logic. In short order every conceivable objection, counterpoint or criticism would be reduced to scorched cinders under Zelda's scorched turf policy. All that would remain would be his paranoia.
"Then I cannot rightly justify my continued confinement to the castle…" Zelda spoke matter of factly, a tone radiating royal authority and unquestionable wisdom. "nor do I wish too. It may be my home however I will not and cannot stand to let it become my prison, awaiting a threat that may never come. If this masked man's intentions are to have the milky little princess cower in fear or guilt, sealed away in her fortress, then I cannot and will not submit to his wishes. I refuse to see my hard-fought reputation as a compassionate, diligent ruler recede to a frigid, detached figurehead who watches the suffering of her people from her ivory tower. It has taken much to dispel such impressions. I will not surrender all I have accomplished, nor will I abandon my kingdom in a time of need, especially for such a tenuous threat. And if his message was indeed a warning of future actions against my reputation or my life, then so be it. Hiding away achieves nothing but compounding our fears and making me appear cowardly, however if we act now, openly and calmly, then we could prompt him into action, giving us a chance to catch him…"
Link's only response was a grunt of resigned acceptance. There was little value in disputing her points. The logic was sound. That didn't mean he had to like it!
The princess's authoritative demeanour immediately softened. "I know how much this troubles you. I know of your investigations. I know about your additional guard shifts, your excessive training and your trouble sleeping. Link… I'm worried about you. It's been over two months and this mysterious masked individual is far from the first to deliver threats against me. May this one be just as empty as those which preceded it. Do not let such affairs dominate and pray upon you. Please Link… let it go." it was written in her eyes and her voice, imploring him to surrender to her wisdom. He'd love to believe, as she seemed to, that the masked man was just an empty threat but the meeting with Lord Halshaw and his warning of Zelda's habit of underestimating danger stuck in his brain. But then shouldn't he trust his princess more than a noble who, until recently, had inspired nothing but suspicion?
Her appeal almost worked but paranoia would not give up without one final push. "Ok. Kakariko Village I can understand but what about our stay at Leguna Mansion? Surely that isn't a necessary risk?"
"On the contrary, I believe we are both in desperate need of a change of scenery and the Fairclough estate could not be in a picturesque or peaceful location. It could be a welcome escape from the hectic discord of the court…" Zelda sighed wistfully, only for expression to sour for the brief moment as she added under her breath "provided the council stays in line."
"So this is a glorified vacation?!"
"Hahaha! For me? Hardly! If it were a vacation the council would be banned, as would much of my royal entourage. Alas, there will still be much work to be done, however it will at least be at a far more merciful and relaxed pace. For you however, yes… yes you should see this as a vacation. Your time will not be devoid of duties but there will be opportunities to relax and as my first order to you as royal shield I order you to take them whenever they present themselves…"
"But princess…"
"Link, how long has it been since you rested your mind and body for more than a few minutes, barring resting in a hospital bed? Have you done so at all since the incident? I've tried to guide you without labouring the point or slighting your independence but I cannot tiptoe round this any longer. You need to rediscover your calm… for both our sakes. It has become blatantly obvious how stressed you've become and it grieves me to see it. I am far from the only one to notice. Even the council has caught wind of how highly strung you've been of late, which is precisely why Lord Reefa decided to hire Folsir."
"Wait, what?!" How in Hyrule did he fit into this?
Zelda's mouth was open to answer but a sudden fervent knock at the door stole her words, replacing them with a brief, yet strangely charming look of bewilderment. After the tension of the last few minutes, this sharp contrast almost had the equally surprised hero laughing like a loon. That quickly changed when Neela's voice rang through the door, her usual chirpy demeanour supplanted by solemn urgency. "Your Highness, Lord Vanhorn, Ahem, insists on an audience with you. Indeed, his resolve is undeniable. I think you're gonna want to hear what he has to say."
By the end of her handmaiden's speech, Zelda's shock had vanished, replaced with stern determination as she jumped up from her chair, snatched an unseen object from the behind the tower of waiting bills on the desk and whipped round the table with such haste as to set her hair and skirts billowing as though caught in a sudden hurricane. "Very Well. Please wait a moment!" The elegant hurricane of fabric and chocolate brown locks called back, surging up to Link with sufficient momentum to startle him, particularly when a few free strands flicked across his cheek. Did she mean to get this close?
Bewildered by the princess's sudden intimacy, the hero parted his lips to speak only to be silenced by a single fabric clad finger placed upon them. She was touching his lips?! She was touching his Lips!
"Hush, don't speak. Take the keepsake and hide on the balcony. I'd rather the "venerable" Lord not know you're here. I'll close the doors behind you to discourage any wandering but you'll need to stay out of sight."
The princess didn't need to worry about him speaking, as his pounding heart was currently lodged in his throat, pounding a raucous rhythm, seemingly intent on tenderising his brain into a slushy puddle of infatuation. With the heat flushing to his cheeks, he bid a hasty retreat out to the balcony as instructed and the doors were quickly closed behind him.
Damn his heart! It still got provoked at the most mundane and inappropriate of times. True, she was close but that was only for the sake of secrecy. And to think he'd deluded himself into thinking his "inappropriate feelings" were waning!
Tap! tap!
What was that? Link glanced round to see Zelda giving him a "meaningful" frown through the balcony doors, jabbing her head to his left. Oh yeah, out of sight! Got it.
He moved himself to lean against the wall, far enough from the doors to be out of view but close enough as to hear perfectly everything that occurred within the study. He generally disapproved of eavesdropping but in this case his conscience could definitely make an exception.
"Please show him in." Zelda's voice was staid, composed with a thin veneer of cordiality.
The door squeaked open and Link picked up the Lord's footfalls on the carpet, strident and arrogant, oozing genial deference so two-faced it set his teeth on edge as he replied "You honour me by accepting my unexpected presence your highness. May I be the first to congratulate you on a truly inspirational and… forward-thinking ceremony. I was not even aware the council had come to a decision on the proposed anniversary commemoration."
The princess clicked her tongue. "No, however my feminine intuition assured me that the council would arrive at the correct conclusion."
"Ahem, yes well… whether one considers a decision correct or not depends entirely on their perspective, the level of understanding of all the relevant factors and the inherent emotional maturity to see beyond visceral but ultimately surface level issues to see the full picture."
"I hope you are not suggesting her highness is immature and ignorant." the princess jibed smoothly, maintaining her veneer of geniality, even as distain simmered beneath. They'd barely been talking for a minute and Link already felt the compulsion to storm in and punch the slimy blaggard.
The slimy blaggard oozed some more oil across the carpet. "Oh no, no, no, no, no! I was simply pointing out that there will inevitably be those who object to the decision and that they may possess different views which should not be dismissed out of idealism, no matter how noble. Take your highly thoughtful and compassionate decision to dismiss that servant for example. While some will see it as it surely was, a wholly benevolent and necessary act of kindness, some may consider it an inconvenient and unnecessary diversion in proceedings which trivialises the very acts the ceremony was supposedly honouring. Even I, being but a mere mortal, must confess that while I understand its clearly altruistic motivations, your reasons to interrupt the ceremony rather than wait till the end still eludes me."
"Really Lord Vanhorn?!" Zelda gasped, voice so thick with mock surprise he could almost picture her positively comic face, eyebrows ascending all the way to the ceiling. "A man of your dizzying intellect stumped? Well, I could not possibly leave one of my most dutiful and dedicated advisors in the dark, so allow me to elucidate. The goddesses granted me a vision of a possible future, one where a poor debilitated servant carrying a wine tray stumbled and fell, by sheer coincidence, during a key part of the ceremony when a certain hero was taking his oath. Miraculous the servant emerged from this accident unscathed, indeed seemingly better after the incident than before, as though the goddesses themselves bless him with healing… That or the servant injury was merely an act to provide plausible deniability to his "accident", an "accident" which all but destroyed the unfortunate oath-taking hero's reputation and career. You see, when the servant fell, the crashing of glass and metal was sufficiently startling as to prompt the hero to release my hand, breaking his sacred oath and bringing great insult on her highness and the goddesses themselves… or at least that is how certain council members would insist on interpreting it and use that as justification for having said hero dismissed from my service."
Damn! The revelation of Folsir's true intentions and their inevitable results sent a chill up this certain hero's spine. Had Zelda not intervened, far worse than simply facing dismissal, he would likely now be locked up in a dungeon for drawing a blade within arm's reach of the princess. Given his nervous disposition it was a guaranteed reaction, yet the thought of someone deliberately provoking it had never even crossed his mind. How was he supposed to distinguish a character assassination on himself or the princess from a real assassination when their political enemies resorted to such devious and unpredictable tactics? How could he possibly protect her when he couldn't protect his own reputation?
"Hmhmhm, forgive me, your highness but it sounds to me more like an affliction of overactive imagination. Why would a mere servant do such a thing?"
"I would have thought it obvious. Certainly, I have never known the implications of any of my speeches to slip past your keen wits, particularly given your penchant for dissecting my every word… rather like a miserly butcher, scouring for gristle to reduce the farmers price."
Vanhorn let forth another dry chuckle, dripping with barely veiled condescension and suddenly his footsteps were heard approaching the balcony. Link edged cautiously along the wall, away from the balcony doors. "Surely this is a conversation you would much prefer to in front of your Kingdom in all its grandeur, Your Highness?"
"On the contrary, I find the autumn chill most disconcerting." Zelda snapped curtly.
"An autumn chill, Your Highness? I hadn't noticed."
"Hmm perhaps it is my delicate feminine sensibilities… or perhaps you are simply cold blooded." Zelda replied drolly, making little effort to hide her sarcasm.
Any semblance of mutually feigned geniality maintained to this point was draining fast as the Lord sneered, his strident gait heard pulling away from the balcony, bearing down on the princess once more, still reposed at her desk. "Perhaps Your Highness. Not gifted with your wisdom I could not say."
"Wisdom or not. I am sure you caught my warning."
"Well, I did catch some elusion to the servant being bribed but I do not see how that is any concern of mine. I didn't bribe him."
"Correct. You did not bribe him. Folsir was bribed by your associate Lord Reefa. You… bribed Legate Karven; to turn a blind eye to any suspicious activity and as contingency should Folsir be thwarted: an overworked guard; too drowsy to be observant and just enough to "accidentally" drop his weapon at the most inopportune and disruptive of moments."
"It's certainly an entertaining theory, Your Highness, one based entirely on your undeniably jaundiced view of my character…"
"Ok Cornelius, how about we drop the pretence of not despising each other and you tell me why you've actually come here." Zelda, as good as her word, dropped her veil of cordial civility and her consonants, previously elegant and inoffensive, now became sharp needles she spat at her opponent. Link was shocked at just how acidic and fiery her normally dulcet voice became. Even against Lord Halshaw, at his worst - or his son, at his… well actually Sir Halshaw only seems to possess one state of being so… - regardless, he'd never heard Zelda display such unbridled hostility to anyone.
In the face of such open animosity, the despicable noble, far from responding in kind, instead raised his ingratiating obsequiousness to nauseating degrees. "As you wish Zelda…" He fawned.
"Me dropping your formal title does not permit you to do the same." she snapped.
"Understood, Your Highness…" Link couldn't suppress a shiver at the Lord's mask of false warmth falling away to reveal a voice as icy and pitiless as the howling winds of snowpeak. "I, being naught but a lowly nobleman, have not earned such a rare privilege… Unlike Sir Link. Speaking of which, where is the esteemed green royal shield? Not shirking his position, I hope."
"Likely setting his affairs in order. I was about to send for him - to brief him for the coming trip to Kakariko Village - when you arrived. As you are no doubt aware there is a month-long transition period and traditions to be observed before he officially assumes his position."
"Oh, it is most reassuring to hear that you a not opposed to tradition, Your Highness. There are those on the council who began to wonder… particularly given your rash decision to appoint a man without a title or even a known bloodline to be your protector, a decision history has proven to be unwise."
"This has already been debated with the council and if you are alluding to the assassination of King Tullius the Fourth, all the evidence incriminating his Royal Shield was entirely circumstantial. He had nothing to gain from the kings death."
"That is not the verdict of the history books."
"The history books commissioned by the Stewards who took over the late kings stead. The very same stewards who were responsible banning the position, a decision which has remained for the last two hundred years, an error that I have seen fit to correct. I very much doubt, however, that you came to debate history. Neela would not have submitted to your… request for an audience with me if that were the case."
"Once again, you show your powers of perception Your Highness, yet such discussion is not entirely irrelevant. I have come, on behalf of the council, to ask you to reconsider your choice of Royal Shield and the breadth of duties you assign to one of his station."
"I believe we have already dedicated more than enough time and energy "considering" that choice in the council chamber and my answer has never wavered. Why would ten minutes in your inimitable presence change that?"
Vanhorn gave a coarse low chuckle, laden with an eerie sense of foreboding which raised the hairs on Link's neck. An alarm bell was peeling in his head and there was the unmistakable growl in his belly. Something about the noble's manner had elevated him from an insufferable pest to a threat. The question was… what kind?
His protection instinct was kicking in but if this was a political threat then what could he possibly do? It wasn't like he could just storm in and beat the conniving bastard up!
"Are you quite sure about that?" Came a rumble from the darkest recesses of his mind.
No. Not an option! Still… better safe than sorry. He inched along the wall towards the balcony doors.
After a moment's ominous silence Vanhorn finally elaborated on his disturbing amusement. Then the protest of a chair being sat on with surprising force and seconds later the thud of, what Link could only assume to be a pair of boots being placed on the desk. "It's quite true. You know me far too well for my charms to work on you. No, Your Highness, you'll reconsider because if you do not then you will leave me no choice but to follow my conscience…"
"You don't have one." The princess interjected sardonically
Vanhorn ignored her. "… and reveal just how your chosen candidate completed his captainship studies sooo quickly and precisely who it was that taught him. I think it would be quite a scandal." Link bristled and his teeth clenched. Blackmail! How'd the bastard find out about their secret meetings?! He'd been discrete… hadn't he? It was a shock and one clearly not just to him. Zelda gave a highly uncharacteristic stutter as she tried to find the words to protest.
"I have no idea what you are…" She began only for the duplicitous Lord to laugh her down, a repulsive laugh of self-satisfaction.
"Come now, Your Highness, let's not insult each other's intelligence with such childish games. You know to what I speak and you know I never make claims without evidence. However, I am no monster. I am not unreasonable. Given that you have publicly bestowed him with the title and arranged for his extravagant new quarters, I will not demand you the embarrassment of rescinding those privileges, though you may wish to consider it for his own good. Privilege breeds resentment after all. He can even keep his duty of protecting you… within a certain capacity. All I require to keep your secret safe is that, rather than your dedicated personal bodyguard, he takes on a less… involved role. As Royal Shield is, at least legally concerned, a brand-new position which has yet to be defined it should be relatively straightforward to achieve. He will simply be added to your existing roster of guards. Indeed, I'll even be as generous as to allow he be submitted on the rota twice, a token of his new esteemed position meaning you should be able to share his acquaintance, oh, once every three weeks…"
Link was shaking at the threshold of the balcony doors, jaw locked, fists clenched and a familiar blood red tint seeping into his vision with each sneering word sliding from Vanhorn's snake tongue. Nevertheless, despite the festering rage that viper inspired, the red tint was not accompanied by confiscation of his senses. The beast was present but, for now at least, his body and his anger were purely his own. It was only his self-control that reminded him… He was still holding the keepsake Better slip that in the satchel before he crushes it, either in his fist or smashed against Vanhorn's smug mug. A few more uncontested words from Vanhorn and…
"Unacceptable!" Zelda snapped defiantly. While every word of the slimy noble's "ultimatum" had steadily drained every ounce of composure from the now fuming hero, it had seemed to have had the opposite effect on the princess, whose resolve and equilibrium appeared miraculously rejuvenated.
Vanhorn scoffed airily. "Please do not prolong this with pointless obstinacy, Your Highness. These are my terms."
"Do you seriously think that secret is worthy of all the compromises you ask for?"
Link couldn't see the Lord's face but the voice painted a vivid picture of a disgusting smirk. "Are you willing to risk it? All to elevate your association with a former farmhand; a man who has spent much of his life in the company of animals and ignorant cumberworlds?"
"Sounds like he and I have much in common in that regard."
The Lord sighed, as though he were simply dealing with a disobedient child. "Such petty sniping is most unbecoming of you, Your Highness."
"Well then perhaps you should endeavour to be a little less deserving of it, Lord Vanhorn. For a start do not seek to tarnish a hero who has singlehandedly accomplished more for Hyrule than your entire bloodline."
"Princess, I believe you have confused me for Lord Halshaw. I, however, will not be baited and as much as I find this insipid excuse for a sparring match amusing, I have far more important matters to attend to. I have made my case. My requests are perfectly reasonable. Now the choice is yours, though if you are still unsure of the likely consequences of rejecting my offer, I would be more than happy to elaborate."
"You seem terribly confident in the devastating magnitude of my secret."
"And why shouldn't I be. The only reason the council granted you the authority to dictate the hero's punishment was on the agreement that it would indeed be a punishment, one befitting his crime…"
"Yes and I judged that no crime had been committed…"
"That was not the official judgement of the council!" The Lord's chilling composure suddenly cracked as he let forth a bark of exasperation.
"The verdict was far from unanimous." Zelda pushed
"Irrelevant!" The Lord's heated outburst was followed by a sharp rattling breath and a pause. Whether deliberately or not, Zelda had managed to break his unsettling mask or icy implacability. This glimpse of weakness proved brief, as his smooth silver tongue quickly reasserted itself. "The vote was won and the verdict ultimately agreed upon. You may be royalty, princess, but that does not bestow you the authority to disregard the verdicts or decisions of your governing council simply because you happen to disagree. Need I remind you of articles 9 through 30 of the 4th declaration…" Articles 9 through 30 of the 4th declaration? He vaguely recalled them from one of Zelda's lectures. Weren't they to stop a monarch becoming a tyrant?!
"No. I am well aware of all the declarations and their purposes." The princess retorted coolly.
"And yet you flout the rules as if they are beneath you."
"You are one to talk, given all you've done."
"True, however, how many among the council will not see it that way? Of course, you will have your ever-loyal supporters, while my friends will naturally see things in a less, ahem… sentimental light. But what of those in the middle - the ephemerals, as you so wittily dub them – how will they react? At best they will see you as even more of a hypocrite, at worst… well…"
"Everyone bends the rules!" Zelda interjected tersely, her cool dignified defiance flaring again.
Still, to withstand such an onslaught as the princess was receiving, for so long, was nothing short of astounding. There she was, embattled in her own study, facing blackmail at the hands of a repulsive, devious scoundrel and, while certainly shaken, she was still able to restrain herself. Meanwhile, here he was, a supposedly great hero, slumped against the cold stone balcony wall, practically foaming at the mouth, fists clenched so hard they were almost going numb. The red taint was growing thicker but he was still in control.
"And yet you are the most vocal critic of doing so." Vanhorn retorted smugly.
"But I do not exploit them to make people suffer!" The Princess spat; her previous venom renewed by a fresh passion.
"Ah, I sense yet another admonishment for dismissing that louse Alfonzo all those years ago. As I've argued before, Your Highness, I may not like him but I am not a malicious man and his suffering was not among my goals."
"That is debatable. What is not is his decade of misery being a direct consequence."
"Maybe, however I'd say promoting him to grand general is more than adequate compensation…"
"For enduring a decade of poverty and humiliation?!"
"His family was always poor…" Vanhorn scoffed with a callous flippancy that could only be born from privilege.
There was, however, a steadily rising undercurrent of impatience, which Link had to confess he shared. He wasn't sure how much more of this tension he could take. The deepening crimson stain on his vision was bringing on a headache and he was beginning to lose feeling in his extremities, a warning sign of the beasts increasing influence. He still had his hearing though. He was still in control. Wait, what had he just missed?
"… now, Your Highness, if you're done digging up my past sins, a pointless exercise, perhaps we could get back to your latest act of hypocrisy."
Every pause seemed to drag on forever, further exacerbated by the apprehension and fear boiling up in his belly and that of the beast.
Zelda's voice, when she answered, gave Link's near panicked heart a much-needed burst of hope. From her tense acidic bite, her demeanour swiftly reacquired her composed mask – a comforting sign in itself – which also held beneath it a trace of smug satisfaction. Had she been playing him all this time? "Oh, but there is a point Lord Vanhorn." The princess chimed airily. "I would have thought you could see it by now… unless you were hoping I would not notice. Here you are threatening to expose my secrets, yet I am not the only one with secrets. After all… preserving your secrets was your true motivation behind Alfonzo's dismissal. I have learnt some illuminating things about you since his return. Release my secret and, well… I wont be the only one being illuminated…"
Zelda let her words hang… and hang…
The silence dragged on torturously, as Link waited on tenterhooks for Vanhorn's reply, left in abrupt and disconcerting stillness by the balcony door. Internal debate threatened to overflow as he resisted the urge to risk a peek, however his only possible debating partner was the late autumn sun, grazing the far-away summit of death mountain. Or was it? Was that the feeling of Shadow Midna watching him or was it just his nerves and the beast? Scanning the empty balcony proved fruitless. The only shadows were his own and the stone balustrades, stretched and distorted in the low sun but vacant of any conspicuous stowaways. It was just him, the sun… and the beast – in that order of presence - for now at least.
The silence was unnatural. He strained his ears for any sound but all he got were heartbeats and breathing. Ok, if no one talked in the next five seconds he was peeking.
Five… Four…
Clap!... Clap!... Clap!...
His countdown was halted be clapping… slow and mocking, which was soon accompanied by a coarse chuckle, like claws scratching gravel. It raised the hairs on his neck again and sent a fresh chill down his spine. Then the Lord finally spoke, adopting the same odious feigned congeniality he had started with. "Bravo, princess, bravo. This is certainly not what I was expecting. You know, I've been struck by a sudden bout of generosity."
"How about you simply drop this matter?" Zelda suggested placidly, still retaining that trace of triumph.
This prompted another chuckle from Vanhorn, who was enjoying this whole situation far too much for Link's liking. Hands were balling into fist again and his teeth were grinding themselves into powder. His protection instinct was flaring in intensity. But what could he do? All Zelda's lessons on politics and he was still just as helpless to aid her?! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!
"Hahaha oh no, no, no Your Highness. You clearly overestimate the power of my secrets just as much as you underestimate your own. Such secrets coming out would be inconvenient and undeniably embarrassing in the short term, however that is nothing compared to the calamity of the council finding out you so blatantly disregarded their judgements, bringing our entire system of government into question. You have, of course, bent the rules before, of which they are aware and have most generously tolerated, but this… this is the first time you've outright ignored the decree of your council. You have set a dangerous precedent and many may begin to wonder; if Her Highness can so casually quash one official ruling by us then what's to stop her doing the same with all? No, princess! You have gained yourself a bargaining chip, nothing more."
"Alright. So, we bargain. Reduce the rota to ten men."
"Too low! With your usual escort of three that would mean the Royal Shield would serve every fourth day. Allow me to save you the time. I will not accept any arrangement where Sir Link serves more than one in seven days. What's more, he is not to be permitted into the council chambers, nor are you to discuss any council matters with him to any degree."
"That will be incredibly difficult to arrange."
"Maybe, but I'm sure Her Highness in all her wisdom can accomplish such a feat."
"Very well, but I select the guards."
"Absolutely not!"
"Vanhorn, do not play me for a fool. The consequences of my secret may be more dramatic, but please do not insult my intelligence by trying to pretend your secrets will not cripple your own position at court as well, providing your rivals many years of ammunition to scupper your every ambition. It would be inconvenient at the very least and I know how much you hate inconveniences."
There was another nerve shredding pause and then…
"Half…" Vanhorn clipped curtly.
"Excuse me?"
"Eighteen guards, we each choose nine… Half."
"Three a day, six days… so, Link takes the seventh?"
"Yes."
The princess gave a hum of contemplation and Link could just catch the sound of her gloved fingers rapping against the desk. What was going through her head? After much deliberation she cleared her throat and her answer came with her most regal and determined tone. "Very well but I will be responsible for all rota organisation."
…
"As you wish, Your Highness." Vanhorn drawled sardonically, carrying more than a hint of resignation.
"So, we have an agreement, Lord Vanhorn?"
"Yes, Your Highness, your secret is safe with me…" There was the creak of a chair. "Oh, and may I just say, it was a pleasure doing business with you, Your Highness." Then came the unmistakable footfalls of the Lord, the clicking of a latch and the yawning of the door, signalling the snake's much desired departure. And not a moment too soon!
Link leant heavily against the wall and breathed a sigh of relief, one felt and appreciated by every sinew of his body. He'd made it! He'd kept the beast at bay and maintained control of his limbs and faculties. That alone felt like a victory. Whether Zelda and Vanhorn's bargain could be considered a victory though… that was a more tenuous answer. Despite apparent resignation at the deal, Vanhorn's receding stride seemed to carry something of a spring in its step. His pricked ears continued to focus on them echoing down the corridor.
The footsteps were suddenly silenced with a slam of the door so violent he half expected to hear the walls crack at its ferocity. The thundering crash was followed by an shrill undignified shriek of unbridled rage from Zelda, unprincessly, yet entirely understandable. She sounded absolutely livid. Should he wait for her to call for him or go to her? Could he help or would his presence only exacerbate her fury? It was their secret meetings which had led to this whole fiasco and that alone was enough to make him feel responsible, at least in part, for their current dilemma. True, she probably wouldn't see it that way… unless she thought he might have been indiscrete about it. He hadn't let it slip… had he? Not that he was aware.
The rustling of skirts against carpet, indicative of agitated pacing, piqued his hearing and on peeking into the study, he spied the princess; jawline locked, shoulders stiffly raised and fingers grasping her skirts so tightly they threatened to tear holes in them, frenziedly shuffling back and forth across the room. Again, he questioned the wisdom of approaching her in this state. He'd heard tales of the power of feminine fury and the extreme pain which could arise from interrupting one caught in its thrall. Perhaps he should wait for her to… no, she could clearly do with a friend to support her. Whether that was his head or his heart talking, the instinct to try and help her won the internal conflict and he moved to the balcony doors.
He reached for the handle, only to realise there was already something clutched with vice like grip in his gauntleted fist. Looking down revealed this mysterious object to be… a familiar long bejewelled silver tube with a small but deadly blade protruding from one end. How did it get into his hand? He'd deliberately buried it deep in his satchel to keep it safe and out of the way. He had no recollection of retrieving it. How could it possibly be there… unless… unless his victory of self-control was a delusion?! Had the beast somehow wrested control of one limb without the rest of him noticing anything? He froze, staring at the blade. The possibility… was frightening… more frightening than any of the unholy abominations the twilight had created.
The sound of the princess's continued pacing broke the spell and he immediately thrust the cursed weapon back into the satchel, seemingly trying to bury both it and the disturbing thoughts that came with it. Zelda needed him.
He opened the door, expecting some sort of reaction and yet the princess gave none, seemingly deaf and blind to the world. Ok, so his entrance invoked nothing. Time to announce himself. He cleared his throat awkwardly and his hands almost instinctively drifted to cover his codpiece. "Ahem… Zelda?"
This got a reaction. "Yes, what!" The normally calm and dignified princess rounded on him, wielding all the white-hot fury of ever realm known to man - along with several unknown ones too – in her incendiary visage. This fire was extinguished the instant her eyes met his, at which point another heat took hold, equally unfamiliar to see on her beautiful face… the flames of shame and utter embarrassment. She turned away and shuffled back to her desk. "Uh… um… I'm sorry Link."
"Don't apologise Zelda. After a battle like that…"
Zelda gave a hollow laugh and slumped wearily back into her chair "Yes, it certainly feels like a battle at times. Still… I'm sure you faced far worse without feeling so drained." Still averting her gaze from him, she picked up a feather quill and absent-mindedly twirled it as her unveiled disposition flickered between anger and despondency and back again with twitch of her brows and a pensive bite of her lip.
"With all due respect princess, I have to disagree. The enemies I fought may have been bigger and scarier but none could compare to Vanhorn's persistence and unlike you, my enemies had simple solutions that tended to shut them up permanently. Just find where the pointy things best fit and keep sticking them till they stopped moving…" It may have been a gross simplification, downplaying the challenges he faced but he was never one for ego and if it lifted Zelda's spirits then it would be worth it. "It's just unfortunate the same approach isn't allowed for bastards like him. Oh, pardon my language."
"No Offence taken. Indeed, were I not raised on such strict propriety and pacifism I would agree to both the title and the proposed solution." It was clearly intended as a joke but the despondent delivery drained the humour leaving just a husk of bitterness. This wouldn't do at all. Time for more flattery.
"Anyway, the point I was trying to make is, for all my accomplishments, I've always seen your challenges and successes as far greater. You have faced down a foe that I never could've defeated, and you did it with dignity and grace. Your fortitude, patience and wit are astounding and worthy of admiration, far more than my courage."
His words succeeded and Zelda shot him a weak, bashful smile. "You're far too kind, Link. Thank you."
There was another knock at the door. "Your Highness?" It was Neela.
"Enter."
She did so, albeit with slight hesitation. "I'm sorry, Your Highness, I didn't know what else to do."
"Please, there is no need to apologise Neela. Nothing you could have done would have dissuaded him. if, however, you could be so kind as to bring me a cup of tea. Conversing with that man always leaves a bitter aftertaste…" Not to mention the lingering stink of tabaco - It seemed Halshaw wasn't the only smoker on the council!
As Link wrinkled his nose at that smell, another far more pleasant quickly supplanted it for his nasal attention and for once it wasn't the sweet perfume of his princess. No sooner had Zelda requested the tea, than Neela miraculously produced a cup from behind her back.
"Oh Neela, you know me so well. Thank you."
"Well, you'll need to heat it again. I underestimated how long you'd be able to stand his presence."
Zelda took the cup and proceeded to cast a spell, accompanied by the glow of her tri-force and, only detectable to his sensitive nose, that odd metallic scent that seemed to go hand in hand with many magical incantations. Once the liquid was steaming, she took a demure sip and sank back into her seat taking several deep, calming breaths, her shoulders finally loosening.
The hero and the handmaiden both watched in silence for a few seconds; Neela probably out of politeness, Link - while polite - …also had different reasons. He had many questions but he didn't want to ruin her recovery. Her handmaiden was less cautious with such things, shutting the study door and clearing her throat. "Ahem, if I may be so bold, Your Highness…"
Zelda raised a hand. "I believe I know what you are about to say, but before you do, I wish to check something. Link, could you return my keepsake."
This caught Link by surprise. "Oh, um of course." he mumbled, slightly confused. Nevertheless, he retrieved the keepsake from his satchel and handed it back to her. It was then that he was struck by two thoughts, one which chilled his heart, the other making it skip. Firstly, he now suspected the precise moment the beast had knabbed the blade from the satchel was when he'd slipped the keepsake in. Secondly, if the keepsake is supposed to suppress sound, what was the whole "Don't speak, finger on lips" routine in aid of?
He had no time to dwell on it, as the princess responsible for his inappropriate palpitations finished with the keepsake and turned her attention back to her handmaiden. "Go ahead Neela. Ask away."
"Alfonzo never gave you any dirt on Vanhorn, did he?" Wait, but surely…
"No, he did not." Zelda confirmed in a flat business-like tone, wholly undeserving of such a monumental revelation, at least as far as he was concerned.
"What! So you were bluffing?!" He blurted in shock.
The Princess remained remarkably matter of fact. "Indeed. Ever since you revealed the truth about Alf's dismissal at his hands, I have wondered if perhaps there was more to it than simply wishing to isolate me. It makes sense, given how much resources he dedicated to the scheme, solely to keep me in the dark. It was not a hunch I was intending to gamble on, but all my attempts to provoke him failed and it was either take the chance or surrender. I'm not so sure now it was the right call." Despite her staid tone throughtout, the final line betrayed the concern she clearly held beneath.
"But he bought it?... didn't he?! You got him to compromise. Surely that's a victory?"
The pensive princess gave a solemn frown and shook her head. "If it is a victory, I fear it is a pyrrhic one."
"You don't think he bought it." Neela stated bluntly.
Again, she shook her head. "I cannot be certain but my intuition tells me, no he did not."
"But then why did he let you bargain?" Link asked incredulously. It didn't make any sense.
"I cannot say for sure. Vanhorn is, unfortunately, as enigmatic as he is vile…"
She fell silent and steepled her delicate fingers, proceeding to stare sightlessly at the far bookcase.
…
Um…
Was she even going to continue?
He turned his gaze to Neela to see whether she would break the deadlock, but she seemed more than happy to wait.
…
He'd just opened his mouth to speak when Zelda's voice, contemplative yet carrying more than a hint of exasperation, cut the silence. "I hate to compliment such a man, but it's undeniably shrewd. By accepting it as a bargaining chip, he has essentially removed that card from my hand, while he still accomplishes his ultimate goal, all without revealing his own hand. If he has seen through my bluff, he has gained either; knowledge of my ignorance, if my hunch about his secrets was right, or, if I was wrong and there are no secrets, he has gained a potential opportunity to misdirect me. If he does have secrets but they are, as he claimed, insignificant then, by capitulating, he has ensured that even if I were to discover them in future, I would be unable to use them as leverage. The only way he would stand to lose is if Alfonzo's dismissal was indeed about keeping secrets, I were able to discover those secrets and their implications turned out to be political dynamite."
Wow, he didn't know what was more impressive, that she had figured all that out while so clearly drained or that he'd actually managed to follow it perfectly fine. It made sense… apart from one thing. "Discover? But surely if we just ask Alfonzo…"
"I suspect his dismissal was a preventative measure rather than a reactive one, that is to say, Vanhorn did it, not because he suspected Alfonzo already knew the secret but because he was afraid, he might uncover it. Likely, if Alfonzo knows anything it is a small but critical piece of a much larger puzzle. We could ask him, but even if he does recall this key piece, he may not have grasped its significance. Regardless, before we turn our attention to our enemy's secrets, it is far more prudent to seal up whatever leak compromised our own." She sighed and fixed her sapphire gaze on him, lips parted to speak but reluctant to do so. "Now, please do not take this personally but I must ask… Can you think of any time when you might have been… indiscrete about our meetings?"
He had to admit a twinge of pain at the line of questioning but, after the initial sting of afront, he was man enough to accept its necessity. "No, absolutely not!" He replied with a fervent confidence which overstated his certainty. He was pretty sure… just not one hundred percent and perhaps his eyes, breaking contact just after delivery, betrayed that fact.
Zelda examined him for a few seconds. Seemingly satisfied with the result, she then switched her gaze to her handmaiden. "As have I." Neela answered earnestly without the princess even having to ask.
"I know. I do not doubt the loyalties of either of you. It is simply a formality, one which now observed can be dispensed with and we can move on to the real suspects. Neela, I take it you know all in the network who were informed of or involved with the arrangement of our secret meetings."
"Yes, Your Highness."
"I'll need you to make some discrete inquiries. If we do have a rat among the ranks, it is imperative we discover their identity."
"Understood but it may take some time. What about the trip to Kakariko and Leguna?"
"It will not be the same without you but I'm sure I can make arrangements to share one of the handmaidens of my Ladies-in-waiting. Leguna is their family estate after all."
"Of course, Your Highness. You can count on me. Will that be all?"
"For now, thank you Neela."
With that the handmaiden curtsied and slipped away, leaving the hero and the princess in the silent gloom of the study, cast in increasing shadow by an exhausted late afternoon sun and an equally lethargic flame from the fireplace. The silence didn't last long though, as an old concern reared its ugly head.
"Zelda, are you sure this trip's such a good idea, especially given this new risk?"
"Of course. If anything, Leguna Mansion will be far safer. Vanhorn will have far fewer informants among their ranks than here. Furthermore, it has become paramount we both take this opportunity to recuperate as much as possible, as I fear we will be gifted precious few in future. Please Link, what I said before still stands. No matter what happens, you need to relax. Promise me Link, promise me you will not let these issues consume you."
Grrr! He hated agreeing to promises he knew he couldn't keep. "I'll try." he mumbled.
"Link." She forced a weak smile. "trust me, these troubles aren't as serious as they seem." The voice was steady but the smile was brittle. She was usually a far better liar than him… but not this time. "Now if you could leave me. I have some… some… papers that need signing." her voice cracked and she quickly turned her eyes to the parchment on her desk, though she seemed to stare right through it.
"Zelda?"
"Please… go."
He reluctantly followed her instructions, bowing and walking to the door, yet he was conflicted. Her words had said "please go…" but her voice… something in her voice was begging him to "Please stay". Was this real or his heart playing a trick on him. With his hand grasping the cold iron handle, he glanced back over at her.
To an untrained observer the princess would have likely appear the picture of normality, deep in thought as she carried out her quintessential daily duty, signing excessive mind-numbing streams of documents. To a practiced princess watcher like Link – at least watching his princess – the image was all wrong. Her shoulders were too rigid, her eyes blurry and unfocused, and her hands were gripped by a subtle but pernicious tremor… and did she even have ink in that quill?
The quill scratched the parchment repeatedly.
Scratch… scratch… scratch…
She blinked and, finally realising her mistake, dipped her quill in the inkwell and went back to her work, the tremor in her hands increasing. She seemed to be completely oblivious to his continued presence. Something was very clearly wrong!
He couldn't leave her like this… but what could he do?!
Had Zelda awoken from her daze at that moment she'd have been forgiven for thinking he was frozen, but internally his mind was a seething turmoil of conflicting emotions. His mind had no clear consensus on the issue. His heart, on the other hand, couldn't be more certain or insistent. Come on, he had to come up with something else! He tried everything; squeezing his eyeballs, tugging his gauntlet, even drawing an imaginary sword! Nothing… and Zelda still wasn't right. He closed his eyes and offered a silent pray to the Goddesses "Please, please, please don't let my heart screw this up."
Prayer hopefully received, he surrendered control to the will of his heart, which promptly yanked him unceremoniously towards his frozen princess. With outrageous boldness he found his large firm gauntleted hand claiming her small delicate trembling hand for the second time that day – a fact his heart was all too eager to point out. This shockingly brash move broke the spell on the princess who gave a startled squeak and gazed up at him with moon-like eyes. Her hand, however, made no attempt to escape miraculously gentle grip, despite the cool hard steel. It was at this moment, as they stared into each other's eyes - both in states of mutual surprise at his dramatic boldness – that he fully expected his head to spontaneously combust, thus robbing him of what little communication skills he may have possessed. Fortunately for his head and his powers of speech, his heart was at the reigns and apparently had a higher tolerance for embarrassment and words at the ready.
"Princess, I promise I'll relax, if you promise me one thing in return." He said in his most sonorous baritone with earnestness that only one's heart could muster.
"Yes?" Zelda squeaked, seemingly forgetting how to breath.
"Promise me you'll always remember my oath to you; that I have sworn to protect you from all threats, to aid you in all matters you wish of me, to support you always, whenever and wherever you need me and that I pledged all this not only as a servant, not only as a hero but most importantly as your..." Oh goddesses, please don't say one true love! "… friend." Oh, thank Farore! Ok, time to call it a… "You are one of the strongest, most courageous people I know but you don't have to be strong alone…" Great! Not only was his heart being overzealous but also proving himself a raging hypocrite, given his own regular reluctance to accept help from anyone. "Promise you'll remember that, if there is anything I can do to help, all you need to do is ask. After all, I'm your…" Stop! Stop! Stop! Heart, you've gone too far!
Link wrenched the reigns back from his heart and, as predicted, his head instantly burst into flames. His heart was idiot and so was he for listening to it! He risked a glance at the princess to survey the damage. What his eyes beheld almost stopped his heart. Blue soul filled sapphires blinked and glistened above delicate rosy stained alabaster, broken by the subtlest of dimples, courtesy of a bashful, grateful, beautiful smile. It was almost too much to bear.
The sight stole his breath and tied his tongue, rendering his attempt to finish his speech with any semblance of self-respect a miserable failure, with a voice reminiscent of a strangled cucoo. "… Just promise you'll remember that."
The princess gave his gauntleted hand, now limp with shock, a gentle squeeze. "I'll try my best" she murmured, mimicking the types of non-committal answers he so often gave her. Was this coincidence or… her smile twitched and her moist eyes held a twinkle.
"Ahem, yes… well, ahem, that's all I can ask." Link stammered gruffly, finally relinquishing his hand from hers and desperately searching for something else to occupy it, like adjusting his tunic… which went about as well as could be expected, given he was wearing armour! "Is there, um, anything you wish of me? Anything I can do to help?"
"Only that you be patient with me… Thank you Link…I… Thank you." Link watched as the delicate flower that lay beneath the princess veil was swallowed up once more with a single exhausted breath. "Now as much as I appreciate your company, I really must be getting on with these bills. We will reconvene tomorrow to discuss plans for our visit to Kakariko."
"Of course, your highness." He mumbled, cheeks still burning.
…
"Ahem, Royal Shield, as dutiful and… pleasant as you are, you are dismissed."
Legs… some movement might be nice! "Oh, um, of course, Your Highness."
"Don't forget to bow to the princess." His heart dutifully reminded him.
He did so and promptly cracked his head on the desk! OOOWWW!
Zelda leapt up in alarm. "Link, are you alright? That looked painful."
"Oh no, no. I'm fine, fine, absolutely fine!" Link blurted as he made a hasty retreat… straight into the chair, strategically positioned behind him. Pirouetting like a drunken ballerina, he narrowly avoided tumbled over the stealthy furniture, managing to grab it as a ballast to steady himself on.
"Are you quite sure? I have a spell that could help."
Zelda touching his head?! Oh no! The hand holding was already too much for one day! "No that's quite alright princess. Thanks for the offer but I'm the picture of health. Absolutely nothing wrong with me. Haha. Until tomorrow princess."
Without waiting for a reply, he fled the room, face the colour and temperature of freshly cooked tomato soup.
Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!
As if today hadn't brought enough complications to his already perplexing life!
Character assassination!
Blackmail!
The Beast!
Shadow Midna!
Halshaw's meeting!
"Vacation"!
And he had to cap it off with a stunt like that!
He'd have had a headache, even without the desk's assistance.
Perhaps this headache would blow over by morning. Ha, as if he'd get that lucky!