Disclaimer: I only own the aliens. And the songs by Calvin are owned by Swing123 and GarfieldOdie. Hobbes' song is a spoof of the Aerosmith-owned song, Spider-Man

Calvin ran in fear as Eddy and Jason followed. These guys were relentless. Calvin turned the corner to find a flower decorated door.

He paused and pondered what to do. It was either death by psychos, or going through feminine door. Although slightly reluctant, Calvin began running again. Nobody would ever know.

He opened the door to find an army of Susies.

"Hi, Calvin! Do you want to play with me?" They all said at the same time.

In an instant, Calvin slammed the door and began running away as fast as he could.

"No!" Calvin cried as he woke up. He jumped to his feet, and grabbed the baseball bat and cried, "No one tries to kill me. Do your worst Susie clones."

Hobbes slowly sat up. "Three mornings in a row. You have woken me up early three mornings in a row."

"Don't blame me for that." Calvin snapped.

"Who else do I blame?" Hobbes replied.

"Blame the horror movies on Plasma TV!" Calvin cried.

The duo heard a commotion outside of the room. Calvin opened the door to find hundreds of people looking in on him.

"Are you okay master? We heard sounds of terror." Calvin's dad said from the front.

Calvin stared. "What are you all doing here? Get out! Leave a kid alone for five minutes."

"As you wish, master." Another one replied.

Calvin slammed the door and turned to Hobbes.

"What are they doing here?" He asked.

Hobbes pointed out the window. "Take a look!"

Calvin ran to the window and saw a sea of tents pitched around the house.

"HEY!" Calvin cried. "Get out of my yard. Go home. I have spoken."

"Okay master!" They all shouted as they ran into the house, the woods, the road, and the driveway.

"A perfect example of too much of a good thing." Hobbes announced

"Shut up!"

Calvin went through a pile of his stuff, saying aloud the condition. He grabbed the flamethrower. "Needs ammo."

He grabbed the MP3. "Broken."

The PSP. "Screen Cracked."

The GBA SP. "Soaking wet."

The Portable DVD player. "Battery gone."

Stink bombs. "Saving for a special occasion."

Calculator. "Why the heck did I buy this?"

Reading Glasses. "Wait a sec… these aren't mine."

Little did he know, a pair of eyes were watching him. Hobbes raised his head and prepared to pounce until a cold hand grabbed him by the mouth.

Hobbes struggled to fight as he heard Moe's voice. Moe flashed Hobbes a strange type of gun. "You are in breach of the Boy of Destiny Protection Act. Do that again, and we will blast you into oblivion. Do you understand that so-called second-in-command."

"Won't you be in violation of the Tiger Protection Act of Yesterday?" Hobbes asked

Hobbes heard a weird charging sound. "The master will never know. Do you understand?"

"Yeah. Completely. Without a doubt. Don't shoot me." Hobbes stammered.

"Good!" Moe answered as he put away the gun. "I'm glad we had this talk, aren't you?"

"Not really." Hobbes said before he saw Moe pull out the gun again. "Yes I am. Excellent chat. I haven't had a better one in ages. Don't shoot me. I succumb to your dark will!"

Calvin sat outside the house. He had snuck away and was searching for Susie's tent. He found hers at one of the corners. And she was just leaving her tent.

Calvin packed together a snowball.

"Hey Susie!" He cried. "EAT SNOW!"

"Okay." Susie said as she dropped to the ground and began eating snow.

Calvin stared. This wasn't as much fun as pelting her. More interesting, yes, but not as fun.

Calvin walked out of his room with an electric guitar. "Hobbes, I just realized that I forgot to try this. I even wrote a couple songs."

Hobbes shrugged. He had nothing else to do.

Calvin began strumming keys randomly.

"We're Calvin and HO-O-O-Obbes!
"We've got gobs of fU-U-U-Un!
"Ya can't fool around with us be-cause we're CALVIN AND HO-O-O-OBBES!
"so ya wanna be like us? Ya better pack a lunch! We've got lot's of talent, and FU-U-U-U-UN!
"There are no re-PLACEMENTS for people like U-US!"

"STOP! For the love of all that is good and pure, please stop." Hobbes roared. "For crying out loud, learn some notes."

"Learn? Work to find out something during a day off?" Calvin asked.

"Yeah, either that or deafen your best friend." Hobbes answered.

"How about this?" Calvin asked as he once againstarted to play random keys.

"I'm gonna build me a ship that can take me far away. Far from this stupid world! Calvin and Hobbes investigate! Just give me a chance to show you all existing love. Love with imperfection and you say that's not love at all. Now we know there's just too many things for you to hold on to. And for all the love your words can bring, I'll have all the loss you surely bring.
"I'm gonna build me a ship that can take me far away. Far from this stupid world. Calvin and Hobbes investigate. Just give me a chance to show you all existing love. Love with imperfection and you say that's not love at all."

"No!" Hobbes replied quickly. "You write good Lyrics. You play horrible tune. Also, your voice is squeaky."

"You couldn't do any better!" Calvin retorted.

Hobbes reached out and grabbed the guitar. "Sure I could!"

Quickly, Hobbes recalled the rock video he'd seen of Aerosmith. He began strumming the tune to the song he'd heard. The correct tune I might add albeit with slightly different Lyrics.

"Tiger-Man, Tiger-Man.

"Does a little less then a tiger can.

"Tiger-Man, Tiger-Man.

"Still much better than a darn human!"

In a fit of jealousy, Calvin grabbed the guitar and through against the wall. "THIS STINKS!"

"You're just jealous that you aren't in it!"

"THIS STINKS!"

Palminetti and Lock watched Calvin on a monitor.

"But weren't we watching the clones yesterday?" Palminetti asked the writer.

Then, yet another bolt of lightning struck Palminetti for no reason.

"You really need to stop doing that." Palminetti cried before another bolt struck him, teaching him not to criticize the writer.

"I was not criticizing the writer!" Palminetti cried just before a bolt struck him, "What was that for?"

Back talking.

Lock sighed. For a strategic planner, that guy sure couldn't learn a lesson.

"I think the potent protests a bit much to be served on head and foot." Lock asked.

"Technically, they aren't serving him, they are serving us. Also, since we have tenticles instead of feet, 'head and foot' is not a proper term for Zekers." Palminetti rambled before he saw a nameless alien staring at him.

"Sir, why do I hear lightning" The alien said.

"I am glad you asked! That can be explained in two words 'Poor writing'. You see the writer resorts to shocking me in electricity whenever I break the fourth wall. It's a classic example of attempts at humor." Palminetti rambled before being shocked by the biggest lightning bolt yet.

Locke groaned and snuck out of the room. Who the heck chose him for a strategist?