Previously on "A Court of Fear and Ice"

With Bryaxis truly dead, Lexi doesn't know what to do now. Staying in Prythian is out of the question, and there are no other ways to go back home. Feeling responsible for everything that happened, Rhysand promises to send Lexi to her real world and gives her a tattoo. Devastated and exhausted, she goes back to the House of Wind. Alone.

Chapter 24

Four weeks.

It had been four weeks since I had come to Prythian. Four weeks since I had opened my eyes and seen people who were supposed to be just book characters. Four weeks since Rhysand had cut Bryaxis's head and made me stranded in an imaginary world.

To be honest, I didn't remember what I was really doing for the first two of them. The days were just passing by, and I was mostly sitting in the hall of their mountain residence, looking at the snow-capped peaks. At times, I was even able to spend countless hours gazing at the absolutely astonishing night sky and letting my mind drift away.

I wasn't disturbed by anyone as the Night Court fairies weren't much around. Sure, Cerys, Zareen and Meleri visited me a couple of times and we played many weird games, which I didn't quite understand and lost every single one of them, but most of the time I was alone. Strangely enough, I was okay with that because I had finally time to think.

And there was a lot to think about.

At first, I treated my visit to Prythian as some sort of fantastic yet short trip. It was awesome to see all the places and people I read about in the books, and find out what they were really like. Besides, I was going through an extraordinary experience, if not adventure, and was sure as hell that no one on Earth would ever come here and see it with their own eyes. Well, I felt special in a way. But then, with Bryaxis and my way back home gone, my whole situation changed.

Soon after Cerys picked me up from the stairs that were leading to the House, she and Feyre winnowed me to their mountain residence. There, I truly realised I wasn't going home – or at least not as fast as I wanted to – and started feeling discouraged and overwhelmed. I didn't want to eat, drink or talk with anyone, and my days were all the same: countless hours of crying intermingled with staring mindlessly into space.

To make things worse, I was constantly exhausted, though I wasn't doing anything noteworthy. My eyes and face were so unrecognisable that I eventually stopped looking into mirrors, and hid myself from every fairy I saw or heard in the residence. However, as it turned out, it was this shiny surface that came to my rescue. Because all I needed was one look at my own reflection, and I immediately knew I couldn't bear it any longer. I had to overcome it as soon as possible.

It took me almost two weeks to finally put a stop to shedding tears and letting my mind drift away.

Before I knew it, I found out that food was tasty again, that I missed the company of others, and, most importantly, that I had some hope for retuning to my family and friends. Though little and almost impossible, the hope helped me go back to life and look at everything from a different perspective.

Rested and eager to kill some time, I started wandering around the residence. At first, I was only interested in the bedrooms near my own room. But I wasn't poking around in the wardrobes and chests of drawers that were there. Oh, no. I was simply going inside, having a look at the furniture and other things, and then carrying on to the next bedroom. I knew it was wrong enough to just be there, but I couldn't resist it. I desperately wanted to know what their rooms looked like.

When I finally dared to venture beyond the immediate vicinity of my bedroom, I discovered that the residence was multi-storey. I had never suspected it would be so huge.

My tour began with the three upper floors. Each contained at least six or seven bedrooms with gigantic beds, a music room with lots of instruments, and two living rooms overlooking the mountains. By the time I went down to my room, I was so exhausted that I fell asleep in the armchair and missed dinner.

To my astonishment, I learnt that there were also other floors beneath the residence, one of them a wine cellar containing several thousand-year-old bottles. Unfortunately, Cerys, who I was talking to, didn't mention that the door to the lower floors was locked, so my second part of the tour needed to be postponed.

Apart from the blue bedroom I got from Feyre for the time being, I loved sitting in two other places – the hall and the kitchen. Hidden behind an enormous double door, the latter contained lots of dark wooden cabinets and shelves with various herbs and containers, a massive wood-fired stone oven covering almost one of the walls, and a kitchen island with a beautiful marble worktop and two hockers. I didn't know why but there was always fire burning inside the oven, though no one was using it, and the whole room was filled with the smell of either cookies or fresh bread.

Now, sitting in the kitchen with a cup of tea beside me, I was petting Sweetie, a black cat that was lying on my lap. I met her – because the animal was too pretty to be a boy – three days ago when I went down for my breakfast. I didn't know the fairies had pets, as they had never mentioned them, but there she was – a gracious fluffy thing napping now on me.

Whenever I was in the kitchen, Sweetie usually observed my every move and followed me almost everywhere in this room. Oddly enough, I didn't see her anywhere else, either in the hall or upstairs, so I suspected she wasn't allowed to wonder around the house.

Rubbing her behind the ear, I took a sip from my cup. I found the tea in one of the clay containers and I had to admit it was really good, though there were raspberries, blueberries and blackberries inside. Personally, I didn't like fruits of the forest much, but my sisters loved them and their favourite pie contained shitloads of them. Every time we visited Grandpa Frank, he always baked his famous triple berry pie and served it with whipped cream and strawberry sauce. Back then, I disliked the smell of the pie so much that I left the kitchen the moment grandpa took it out from kitchen cabinet. But now I would have given anything just to be in his house and have a look at him and my two sisters munching the freaking triple berry pie.

Feeling a sudden pang of pain, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Be strong. Be patient. Be hopeful, I reminded myself. Those three sentences were like a mantra for me, and whenever I had doubts or a hard day, I repeated them in my head and felt a bit relieved. Of course, there were days when I did feel better after saying them and the pain disappeared. But sometimes, the effect was completely opposite to what I had expected and an overwhelming sadness took control of me, tormenting me for the rest of the day.

Lucky for me, today was fortunate as my three sentences helped get rid of everything that was gripping my heart and making me feel bad. I exhaled quite loudly through my mouth and opened my eyes.

Sweetie, sensing there was something wrong with me, as I wasn't petting her anymore, lifted her head and focused her bluish eyes on me.

"What's wrong, Sweetie? Are you worrying about me?" I asked, stroking her head. When she slowly closed her eyes and started purring, I added, "Thank you, Sweetie. It's nice to know someone worries about me."

Still petting the cat, I took another sip of the tea and tried to avoid thinking about my sisters, parents and friends. Though I knew I would eventually go back to them, waiting patiently wasn't my thing. The more time I spend in the residence surrounded only by the splendid mountains and twinkling stars, the less confident I felt about my return to the real world and Rhysand's promise.

Subconsciously, I lifted my hand and looked at the little flowery band I got from him. Unlike Rian's damn tattoo, it was indeed inconspicuous and barely visible on my left thumb. When I wanted to look at it for the first time, I had to narrow my eyes so tightly that I was afraid I would get a permanent squint. Well, there was still much to learn for the heir to the Night Court if he wished to be as good as his father, right?

As for Rian, I hadn't seen him since the business with Bryaxis. I wasn't sure why he didn't come to the residence yet, but it would have been nice if he visited me at least once. To be honest, there were days when I missed him so much that I couldn't – or maybe didn't want to – do anything else but think about that handsome muppet and his sexy voice. And the dreams I had with him in the lead role… Good God.

Some were rather ordinary, like those about talking with him at McDonald's about chips or buying a blue hearse and driving across the US, but quite a few made me blush when I recalled them in the morning. Take, for example, yesterday's one.

It was so freaking realistic that when I woke up in the middle of the night, I expected to see him half-naked in my bed, cuddling me and whispering sweet things into my ear. On top of that, I needed over thirty minutes to fall asleep again. Even with the magical lamp on, I was a bit too afraid he would magically appear in my room, shirtless and ready to caress my body.

Oh, God, I thought, putting the cup aside and feeling me cheeks getting warmer with every second I spent recalling it.

I didn't remember the last time I had such dreams. The things I had usually seen while sleeping weren't even remotely similar to yesterday's night. For sure, they weren't so vivid, so hot, and so disturbing. Then, what the hell was going on with me?

Oddly enough, I had already known the answer.

It was almost like reliving those first weeks after I had met that blonde bastard and begun realising the attraction I felt towards him. Back then, I was too fascinated by him to sleep, eat or focus on anything I was supposed to do, and the only things that were on my mind were him and his smile. So when he returned my feelings, I was the happiest girl on the planet and thought it would last till the end of time. No such luck.

Though my mind was desperately trying to prevent me from making the same mistakes, my whole self was more than eager to fall for someone. I wanted to be able to exchange those looks again. To give smiles and winks. To go on dates. To hug and kiss. To simply love.

Yet, at the back of my mind there was always him.

A couple of months had passed since that December evening but I still felt pain at the thought of it, even here, in Rhysand and Feyre's residence. Though not as bad as before, the painful memories kept me from being at peace and returned to me quite unexpectedly, especially before going to bed. Strangely, that time of a day had always been the best for very deep reflections concerning life, family and all the other problems that were bothering me. And now, it was no exception.

What I said to Rian about Henry was true. I had really thought I was finally over him and ready to start a brand new chapter in my life. Unfortunately, it turned out that witnessing it all again in front of the library made me realise that my mind was still wrapped around his betrayal and 'new' relationship. It was clear to me that I should have let it all go long ago, but it wasn't that easy. I still needed time to heal and my stay at the residence seemed to be a great opportunity to finally do it.

I sighed and bent to kiss Sweetie's head. Suddenly, there were footsteps in the corridor, which brought me back to reality, and I heard Cerys's voice, asking, "Lexi, where are you, sweetheart?"

"In the kitchen," I said, straightening up and wiping some tears that came out of nowhere. I wasn't even aware I was crying.

Two seconds later, the enormous kitchen door opened and I saw Cerys, dressed in black leather and carrying a bunch of pale blue flowers. "These are for you," she said, handing them over to me and sitting on the second hocker. To my surprise, the flowers were made of ice. "I talked with Eirwen yesterday. She visited the House and left you some flowers, so I thought I would bring them today." Then, she raised her eyebrows and asked, "What is he doing here?"

I frowned, putting the flowers aside. "Who?"

"Nachton."

When I still didn't understand, she rolled her eyes and added, "That old stinky cat that is lying in your lap."

Looking at Sweetie, who was keeping his wide-opened eyes on us, I deepened my frown. "Wait a minute. I thought it's a girl."

"No, it's a tomcat." Cerys petted the cat's head and said softly, "Aren't you an old stinky cat, my little pumpkin? Of course, you are." Sweetie, sorry, Nachton, purred loudly, closing his blue eyes. "He was brought to our court when Rian was still a wee baby and has been his guardian ever since," Cerys added.

I frowned. "You're joking, right? How can a small cat be someone's guardian?"

"Well, Nachton isn't just an ordinary cat. He's a descendant of the guardians of the Gates of the Otherworld, or so Uncle Az claimed when he brought Nachton along."

Giving the cat a curious look, I asked, "For real? So what is he doing here? You said he's Rian's cat… Shouldn't he be with him?"

Cerys shrugged. "He's a cat, so he can go wherever the hell he wants. Strangely, after so many years, no one knows how Nachton is able to winnow from one place to another. Not even Rian. Sure, he tried to read his mind and conduct various experiments, but to no avail."

I pondered over her words. "I see. Well, I've met Sweetie… I mean Nachton… three days ago and he's been in the kitchen ever since. Is he allowed to wander around the residence?"

"Sure. Why not? But lying next to the oven has always been his favourite." Cerys flashed me a smile and said, "To be honest, I think he really likes you, and that's a good thing. You can always count on him and be sure he'll help you if need be."

Glancing at Nachton, I murmured, "Bullshit. I'm not in danger."

"I said if need be, sweetheart. But… you never know what might happen." She shrugged. "And that's why we all need strong allies. Nachton is surely yours."

I smiled and kissed the cat's head. "Thank you very much, my sweet Nachton, for watching over me."

"Mother above, help me." Cerys gave a sigh. "I can't bear it any longer."

I laughed quietly, rubbing Nachton's ear. "I'm sure that such a fierce and strong woman as you is not used to ungodly amounts of sweetness."

She opened her mouth as if she wanted to reply, but eventually closed it and looked at her hands that were resting on the worktop in front of her. "Lexi, I was just wondering," she said after a while, "if you might want to visit other courts."

I nodded. "Of course. It would be nice to see some new places in Prythian before going home."

Honestly, I wanted to add 'if I were really going home' but decided it might be offensive to her. After all, we both believed Rhysand would find a way to send me back to the real world, and we had to stand by it, at least for the time being.

"As it happens," Cerys went on, "there is a birthday party tomorrow and I'm invited to it, of course. The invitation mentioned bringing some company. So would you like to come with me?"

"Yes, thank you." I smiled, feeling genuinely interested in going to a fairy party. "I would be great."

"Excellent!" She stood up and beamed. "I'll pick you at ten in the morning. You don't have to pack anything. Well, maybe just bring a dress or two. Zareen and I can lend you some clothes if you want." She rushed towards the kitchen door.

"And where exactly are we going?" I asked, frowning.

Cerys looked over her shoulder and said, "To Adriata."

Pronunciation guide

Nachton = [nak - tin] (meaning: pure)