"I watched my dreams all fade away and blister in the sun. Everything I've ever had is unraveled and undone. I sit upon the worthless stack of my ambitious plans. The people that I loved the most have turned their backs and ran. Loneliness has left me searching for someone to love, sorrows open up my eyes to see what real joy is. Pain has been the catalysis to what real joy is. This is the good life."

-Audio Adrenaline 'Good Life'-

Oh Silent Prayer of My Thoughts:

By: The BatThing

Robin walked out of the examination room with Leslie at his side. It was good to see her again. It hadn't been long since the two had last talked, but it still seemed like forever. Forever since Gotham had crumpled, since Tim had become alone, and since Gordon and began to care.

"Tell Gordon it's on me." Leslie told the boy as she drew him in her arms, and smiled as Robin quickly pulled back. He looked around as if worried someone might have witnessed the event. "You come and visit, alright? No more long weeks where you leave me helplessly in the dark."

"Right." The boy responded. He allowed a small smile, but then turned and hurried on down the hall. When he came into the waiting room he found no familiar face. Gordon wasn't insight, odd. Tim made his way to the office manager and questioned if she knew where the man had gone.

"Commissioner Gordon told me to tell you to sit tight – don't leave; he said he'd be back as quickly as possible." She glanced around the room, then at Tim. "Do you want to schedule another appointment?"

For a moment Robin was confused, thinking perhaps she meant that he hadn't seen the doctor. "No, that's fine. I'll call and schedule."

"Do you need our phone number? Here, take this card, it had a list of numbers." She paused, looking at his sunglasses. "Do you need a doctor's note for school?"

The boy considered telling her no, but thought she might think that a bit strange. "Sure." And he watched as she stamped something on a piece of paper and handed it to him. "Thanks."

"Of course, have a good day."

"Yeah." Tim took a seat and began to wait, as he had been told. He ended up waiting for an hour, reading different months of People and Time Magazine. In then end, when Gordon finally did come, the boy been bored enough to pick up Highlights and start playing the children's games inside.

"Amused?"

Robin's head shot up and he slipped the magazine on the table beside him. "No, bored. Was there a police emergency or something? You took long enough; I almost got up and left. Another ten minutes and I would have, then where would you be?"

Gordon didn't look sorry; he looked like he'd been an only survivor from some freak train wreck. The man motioned for the boy to get up and get moving and then turned and walked out of the door.

This took Tim by surprise on different levels, and his heart sank knowing the likely reason. He sauntered off after the man - head feeling like a thousand pounds, stomach taking flight, and legs feeling like rubber. He slipped into the car and Jim instantly locked the doors and turned to face the boy. And Tim heard a loud 'POP' explode as the commissioner's fist landed on his cheek. The boy's head slammed into the window with an ugly crack.

"YOU LIED TO ME!"

Knowing better than to talk, Tim was silent.

"YOU TRIED TO KEEP ME FROM FINDING OUT YOUR ROTTEN SECRET. YOU LIVED UNDER MY ROOF, I PROVIDED FOR YOU, I TRUSTED YOU! DID YOU THROW YOURSELF DOWN THE STARIS ON PURPOSE? I HOPE SO, I HOPE YOU FELT SO GUILTY YOU JUST LET YOURSELF FALL. BUT THAT CAN'T BE THE CASE, CAN IT? YOU DID IT TO PROTECT YOUR SECRET!"

This was different, this was totally different. When Tim found himself into similar situations with Bruce it never evolved yelling (rather just a low voice that was probably worse), or wishes that the boy would fling himself down a flight of stairs. Robin had only ever been hit once in his life by Bruce, and it hadn't been like this. Trust for Commissioner Gordon slowly diminished and the need to go back home, to Wayne Manor, grew. Bruce would never do this. Bruce wouldn't treat him like this. No. Matter. What.

Gordon seemed to be forcing himself, with great distaste, to calm down. And while he did manage to clam down somewhat, it wasn't much improvement. "S-she, Barbara, she died because of your secret."

At this Tim couldn't help but look confused. He shook his head slowly. "I didn't know that."

"You didn't know?"

"I didn't know." Robin repeated. "How could I?"

"Perhaps the reason you couldn't find her costume was a good give away?"

"If you didn't find her costume, how did you -."

"Her computer, damnit. Her computer gave it all away, her computer and you." Gordon glared out the windshield. "I couldn't hack into much, she made sure to keep you all safe. One try and all the information was deleted. But she had other stuff, files from the police that she shouldn't have, contacts that were unreasonable. She had background information on people that wasn't even open to me. You and your reckless behavior spoke in volumes, I suspected something was up."

"That's still not -."

"It was enough. I suspected with everything that was going on that she was one of two things. Either some criminal hacker or she was operating as Batgirl. I figured the later. Batgirl never came around me if she could avoid it, yes, I noticed. That and she had a lot of similarities as my daughter. Red hair and small build being a big one. The way you acted, the way you kept asking about her. I knew that she and you knew each other."

Tim looked away, still wondering how Gordon could accuse the secret for killing Barbara. There was no proof that the girl was acting as Batgirl when she died. After all, the man who came had said she had been in a car accident, so said Gordon. "The man who told you she had died, who was he?"

Gordon looked at the boy. "I have no idea. But let me venture a guess that it was one of your friends. Probably was with her when she died and they just faked the accident. The secret is so much more important than the truth."

Robin didn't say anything in reply. If it had been Dick, Gordon would have recognized him, he and Barbara had dated. As for Bruce, well, the man would have surely said something about Bruce Wayne. "I'm sorry." It was true, Tim was sorry Jim was upset, that Jim was hurt. Though the boy felt no guilt for hiding the truth, it was something that Bruce would have done, even Dick. "I didn't want to betray you."

"But you did, you did and there is no sorry that can help that."

Unsure of what his next move should be Tim sat in silent. He didn't know if Gordon wanted him to leave or if the man wished to continue yelling.

"It was mostly your boss' fault." Gordon slowly told the boy sitting next to him. "Making people make promises, making people believe it was alright to do what he was doing. It was my fault for allowing children to work for him. Damn it to hell, it's my fault."

"No." Tim suddenly said.

Gordon glared at him. "No? It is completely my fault. I allowed him to use three children. I knew and I still allowed it, I felt safe – after all, for all I knew they weren't my children. I should have never done it, I should have ended it. I killed my own daughter. You can't deny that."

Silence.

"Let's just go back to the house." And the commissioner started up the car and pulled out into the street. The ride was quiet for most of the way; the only noise in the car coming from the low hum of the radio's static – though neither bothered to change it.

Tim was in a silent battle with himself, finally he decided on what to do, after all some of this was his own fault. "You know how I always got mad at you when you said that Batman was my father?"

No answer, just a look of utmost confusion. It was as if Gordon had just heard the stupidest thing in the world.

Robin regretted speaking as he turned slightly red. "Well, um, you'd always say that he was my father and I'd always get really mad at you. I just wanted to say that I lied. He was my father, but if you hadn't allowed a Robin in the city, well, then he, uh, he wouldn't have been. So, um, thanks."

Jim offered no response as he kept his eyes on the road. It wasn't until they had pulled into the parking lot that he spoke again. "Did you know her?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Did she ever say why she didn't tell me?"

"She wanted to tell you, and there was a point where she, er." Robin looked away, wondering if he should mention that, it just might upset the man more.

"You were saying?"

The boy nodded as he unbuckled his seatbelt. "She had this dream, right? The Scarecrow's work, she had a dream about her worst fear. And it was that you'd find out and blame Batman. When she woke up she said she was going to tell you."

"She never told me anything."

"I guess she got scared." Tim replied. "I was hurt too; when I found out she died. I didn't want that. She was like my sister."

Gordon nodded carefully as he kept looking out the window, as if there were some amazing view before him and he couldn't concentrate on anything besides that. But the only view for the man to see was the side of a brick wall. "Leave me alone for a few moments."

Doing as he was told, the boy slid out of the car and made his way to the building. It felt wrong going inside after what just happened, like he'd be trespassing. So Tim made his way to the lot in the back, where he had seen the little girl Annika.

To his disappointment, the girl was nowhere in sight. It wasn't much fun to sit outside alone with nothing to do - it was just awkward. He hummed a quiet tune and came to the small merry go round located in the apartment's park. Tim climbed atop the handle bars and started to walk around it, causing it to turn slowly. It wasn't easy, and more than once he fell on the pavement earning a few scraps. He was already sore, with some heavy duty bruises; from falling own the stairs, so after his third fall he ended the attempt.

"That's cool."

"Eh?" Robin turned to see Annika. He couldn't help but smile, but then saw the unfamiliar face of a woman beside the girl. "Thanks."

"This is my mom."

The woman looked at Tim with forced smile, it was clear the sunglasses gave her the wrong impression. "Hello, I'm afraid I don't know your name."

"His name is Quinn." Annika announced. "He lives with the Commissioner, but isn't his son. His family died in the bombing."

"Annika!" The woman scolded, astonished that her daughter would say such a horrible thing before the boy.

Tim just smiled and shrugged, as if it were old news.

"Why are you all bruised up?" The little girl questioned as she broke away from her mom and sat on the merry go round. "Did you get in a fight? Does the Commissioner let you fight?"

So maybe the sunglasses weren't the only reason the girl's mother had looked at him strangely. The boy had forgotten about his 'battle scars'. "Believe it or not I fell down the stairs. I was helping Commissioner Gordon pack up his daughter's stuff and I fell down a whole flight. Just got back from the doctors, actually."

"That's not jiggy."

"That's now what?"

"Jiggy."

"What's that mean?"

Annika looked at her mom and then leaned towards the boy. "It means that it's not cool." She then took another glance at her chaperone.

Tim quirked a smile and slowly shook his head. "That's what you learned in kindergarten today?"

"I'm older than that. I'm in second grade."

"Sorry."

"I have Mrs. Applegate, everyone says she's the coolest teacher. She gives kisses on our birthday and leaves huge red smears of her lipstick. She also let us eat outside the other day, when we had lunch. No other class has ever done that. Will you walk on the merry go round again?"

"Ah, well, sure, I guess. But watch out, I fall a lot." Tim hoisted himself onto the playground equipment and started his walk, balancing carefully. He managed to walk around it half way before he fell to the pavement, tearing his jeans open at the knees. "Fuck!"

"You said the four letter word!" Annika shrieked, she clasped her hands over her ears and looked at her mother, as if the woman would give Tim what for.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I shouldn't have said that." Then he added lamely. "Don't you say it, it's, uh, not cool."

Annika just waved her finger at him. "Shame. On. You."

Robin just nodded.

"Can you teach me to walk on it like that?" Annika questioned. "I want to learn how to walk on the merry go round like you just did. That's jiggy."

"Annika, I don't want you doing that, it's too dangerous for someone your age." The girl's mother chimed. She looked at the boy she knew as Quinn, wondering how he was capable to do something like that but in the end decided it was because he was a teenage boy. And teenage boys did anything for attention, especially dangerous things. "He's bigger than you are, so it's a different story in his case."

"Mmm." The girl whined slightly but didn't ask again.

"Now it's getting late, let's get back inside, maybe tomorrow you can play with Quinn."

"Bye." Tim raised his hand and tilted it slightly, indicating a goodbye. "See you later."

To be continued …

Not the best of chapters, I know, but I had trouble writing this one. I think I had three different versions but decided on this one. Hope it was ok. :-) Thanks for reading.

-Cas