Second Chances

by Peetabreaddd

FULLY UPDATED! What happens when Katniss can't live without Peeta anymore after they won the war? Feeling lonely, Katniss does something tragic to make it all stop, but is given a second chance to make everything right. STORY HAS BEEN COMPLETELY REDONE

7. Chapter 7

Hi guys. There is a song that I have in this story. Wait for Love by Matt White. Go and listen to it before you hear the song.

I hope everyone is enjoying this so far!

He understood what Katniss meant by it being freeing. He saw it in her eyes last night when they were in the water. He instantly loved this place because Katniss was free here. She was happy here. He did make a mental note, that they would have to come here a lot. All the time.

She didn't know he watched her taking off her shorts, and then reached and took her shirt off, throwing them to the ground. She didn't know he was staring at her as she reached up and took her braid out, ran her fingers through her hair, and then worked on braiding her hair again. He was mesmerized by this girl. And she just had no idea. He could really appreciate her bathing suit now. He had never seen this much skin on Katniss before. Her legs were long and beautiful. Her stomach flat. And he could see her cleavage, which was something Katniss never showed. She looked so beautiful. He shook his head and took off his shirt and threw it on the ground. He really needed to stop his mind from wandering in that directions every five seconds!

"Do you think you could remember how to float? We don't have that belt anymore," she said, knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Well, I guess I'm lucky I have my woman in shining armor to save me if I'm drowning," he joked, making Katniss laugh.

"Ok put your face in the water, looking straight down," He took a deep breath and did what he was told. Katniss moved his head in the water until his ears were under and then let him go.

"You're gonna float on your stomach and that's how I want your head," Katniss told him. She went to the side of him.

"When you hold in your breath, you float. So, let me help you float on your stomach. Spread your arms and legs out and just look straight down," she told him. He did as he was told and took a deep breath, and she helped him move his body around, so he was floating on the surface. They did that for a little bit, until he was floating on his own.

"Now take your hands, one on top of the other and put them above your head like an arrow," she told him. It seemed silly.

"So now keep your face looking down, and instead of floating, I want you to kick. We're gonna swim to the other side," Katniss instructed him. They worked for about an hour doing that and then she helped him get himself situated so he was floating on his back. She had her arms under him, holding his back up so he wouldn't sink. He looked up at her as she smiled.

"Are you trying not to laugh at me because I can't swim? Because that's a low blow you know. This is the closest lake to District 12, and it's behind the fence. It's not my fault that I don't know how to swim," he said. She smiled even bigger.

"No, I'm not trying to laugh. I just...I feel better than I have in a really long time. And it's because of you. You make me feel happy," she said. She leaned down and kissed him on the lips. But she lost focus on holding him up when she leaned down to him, and it made him sink under that water. Causing him to panic. He breathed water into his nose as Katniss yanked him up.

"Oh God Peeta I'm so sorry," she said, smacking him on the bag as he coughed up water. His nose burned terribly. "I'm so sorry Peeta are you ok?" she asked, trying not to laugh.

"You're not supposed to drown me," he whispered. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry," she whispered and pulled back. Her shoulders were slightly shaking, and she was trying to get rid of the smile on her face. "Are you ok?" she asked.

"I have a crazy awful headache from the water getting in my nose," he said. He had never experienced a headache like this before, until the Quell. When one of the other Victor's tried to drown him.

"I'm sorry. It will go away in a few minutes I promise," she said, her shoulder still slightly shaking from attempting to not laugh.

"It might go away quicker if you give me a kiss," he said, opening his eyes to look at her. She was blushing and her mouth was opening. He smiled and started laughing.

"You're mocking me," she said. He shook his head.

"I'm not mocking you. I'm laughing because of the look on your face. It's priceless," he said. She rolled her eyes and chuckled with him. "Well come on and kiss me Katniss. Because I don't think you'll do it," he teased. Her mouth dropped. He knew she wouldn't do that. That wasn't who Katniss was. She wasn't going that initiated it. She did for the Games, but not for them.

"You are mocking me. You're making fun of me," she said, putting her hands on her hips. He let out a loud laugh. He tried to cover his mouth, but Katniss mad at him, it was funny.

"You're standing there laughing at me. All I have to do is push you and hold you under the water and you're going to drown. Do you want me to drown you?" she asked. It made Peeta laugh harder. He barely caught Katniss as she lunged at him. She did push him back, with him falling under the water.

As his body fell lower into the water, he felt her hands yanking him up. He wrapped his arms around her, still laughing, and was surprised by her kissing him. She kissed him hard on the lips and then pulled back. He smiled at her. He felt like he was on Cloud 9. She kissed him!

"I kissed you. Are you happy now?" she asked grumpily. He laughed out loud and hugged her.

"I'm very happy that you kissed me. Thank you,"

"Do you feel better?" she asked, still grumpy. He held in his laugh.

"Yes, I do." he said, still holding her. It felt so good to hold her. He felt alive, having her in his arms.

"If we were going to..." Katniss trailed off.

"If we were what?" he asked her. He had no idea what she was talking about.

"Be different? Like be more?" she asked. He thought about what she was trying to ask, and he smiled. It was incredibly hard for Katniss to talk about being more.

"You mean if we were going to take our relationship to the next level?" he asked her. She nodded her head, still not showing her face. He figured she was embarrassed by asking.

"What would that mean exactly?" she asked. He could hear the nervousness in her voice. Afraid of what it means. He rubbed her back. He would never push her too far. He would take their relationship slow for her. He had all the time in the world. He had waited 11 years to talk to her. He could wait for their relationship to grow. All he wanted was to be with Katniss. And his wish came true.

"Well. The next step wouldn't be anything to drastic. We wouldn't be getting married tomorrow," he joked, trying to ease the tension. He felt her tense muscles start to relax as she laughed.

"The next step would be...we'd be boyfriend and girlfriend," he said simply. He waited a moment before she pulled back a little bit to look at him.

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?" she asked him. He smiled at her.

"Yeah. It seems kinda silly to start there after all we've been through. But it's nothing to scary. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Means we're together. We're a couple. It's nothing scary. It means what we want it to mean. It's for us. It's not for anyone else," he told her. She smiled and nodded her head.

"For us. No one else," she said.

"Well yeah. For the Capitol and Panem, we're the star-crossed lovers. We're this super couple for Panem. But we don't have to be some crazy powerful romantic stars. We can just be us. We can just be Katniss and Peeta. We can be boyfriend and girlfriend for us, and we can make our relationship anything we want it, for us," he said. Katniss' smile became bigger.

"I know we've been through so much to even call us boyfriend and girlfriend…but I wanna make this right between us. We're not starting from scratch…our relationship is to…intense for that. too above being a beginner. But it's ours none the less. And we can be something different when this is all over,"

"I love that," she said and hugged him tightly. "So how do we make this...official?" she asked. He chuckled and pulled her back and made her look at him.

"We make it official, by me asking you...Katniss Everdeen, will you be my girlfriend?" he asked. Katniss smiled and nodded her head.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said. She laughed loudly as he picked her up and spun her around in the water. He pulled her head down to his, so he could kiss her. This was what he always wanted. Katniss Everdeen was finally his!

They had just enjoyed the hours together. Peeta was a quick study on swimming and could proudly hold himself afloat for a few minutes. He had never seen Katniss smile so much. She was free out here. Away from district 12. Away from the Capitol. Away from the act they were living. She was free to be happy out here. And now this beautiful girl was his girlfriend. He couldn't help but smile at the thought.

It seemed silly to think of her as that after all they've been through. They were forced to be engaged. Had things been different they would have been forced to be married. Their relationship wouldn't have been their own. But now it was. Even when the cameras came back and they had to be the star-crossed lovers and they were acting insanely in love for the Capitol, behind it all they were still just Peeta and Katniss. They had been through three arenas and a war and had come out the other end, together.

The Capitol stole every good thing about their relationship away from them. They needed to take some things back. They needed something that was theirs. So, why not start at the very beginning? Because they had skipped that part and went straight to getting engaged. They could be boyfriend and girlfriend now. And that was something that President Snow could never take away from them.

He looked down at Katniss taking a nap. They were sitting in front of the log when her eyes started drooping again. While he was sketching the lake, he encouraged her to lay down. He would be right here when she woke up and he wouldn't leave her side. She was in her woods. She was safe.

She fell asleep with her head leaning against his leg. After he was done with the lake, he started sketching how Katniss looked that morning when they woke up while it was still fresh in his mind. And then he sketched as she slept just then. She looked peaceful and she wasn't scowling. They were at peace out here.

He was so enthralled in his sketching that when he looked back down at her, he was startled by the fact that she was awake and looking right at him and jumped slightly. She smiled and sat up.

"Did I scare you?" she asked. He chuckled.

"Yeah, you kinda did. I didn't expect you to be starting up at me," He rested his sketchbook in his lap. "You must have had a nice nap. You woke up pretty soundly," she nodded her head.

"Yeah. I wish we could stay out here forever," she said sadly.

"You know we should come out here more often. And get away from everything. To have fun," she picked her head up and smiled at him.

"I'd really like that," she said. He leaned down and kissed her, and she snuggled up to him.

"So, what exactly do boyfriends and girlfriends do?" she asked. Peeta chuckled. He liked this conversation much better. He hated all the dark stuff that they usually talked about.

"Well, they kiss. A lot!" he joked. Katniss pulled back, her mouth opened and shoved his shoulder making him laugh. He enjoyed watching her blush.

"Seriously,"

"Seriously they do," he laughed. She rolled her eyes chuckling. "They spend a lot of time together. Kissing, cuddling. Talking about how wonderful the other one is," she rolled her eyes and snorted.

"You're going to make me gag," he smiled at her. Now that was more of the Katniss that he knew.

"They go out on dates," she looked at him and raised her eyebrow. "What?"

"A date?" she asked. He chuckled and nodded his head. She looked around and then turned back to him giving him to oddest look.

"How on earth can you go out on a date in district 12? There's nothing to even do. And even if there was something to do, we're supposed to be staying away from each other," she said bitterly.

He saw sadness cross her face. Before he watched her shake it away. That's how Katniss dealt with things. Being sad about something was showing weakness, and she actually got sad about them not being able to go on a real date. Even it was for just a moment. She wasn't letting herself feel sad thought. He looked out at the water for a moment, thinking.

"We can get Haymitch to let us sneak out of here. Maybe in the next few weeks. And we'll spend the whole day out here again. And I'll make it all romantic. I'll make it a date out here," He smiled and looked at her. She raised her eyebrow.

"You have zero faith in me. I can totally do this. I can make out first date a romantic day that you'll never forget Katniss Everdeen," he said and smiled at her. He saw her blush again and he leaned in and kissed her.

"We'll take it one day at a time. We'll learn how to navigate this whole boyfriend girlfriend thing together," He said and smiled at her. She smiled and nodded her head. He hadn't noticed that he laid his sketchbook down in his lap, but he caught her gazing at it. He looked down and smiled and picked it up, turning so she could see it.

"I'm not really done with it yet," He watched her face as she stared at it. He could tell by the way her eyebrows furrowed that she wasn't happy.

"You don't like it?" he asked sadly. He went to pull it away, but Katniss' hand stopped him, and he looked back up at her.

"You made me look pretty," She whispered. She was shocked. But he didn't make her look like anything. He drew what he was looking at.

"That's how you see me?" she asked quietly. She never understood the effect she had on people. She never understood what people saw in her.

"Katniss…this is exactly how I see you. But this is how everyone sees you. You're beautiful. I don't understand why you don't see that when you look in the mirror. I didn't exaggerate. I drew you as you were," he said, and she looked away from him.

"I don't think I'll ever see myself the way that you do. I'm just a girl from the Seam," She said sadly. He picked her hand up and held it in his.

"I happen to think the girl from the Seam is beautiful," He told her.

"I can still see all the scars on me when I look in the mirror," she admitted. He pushed her hair out of her face.

"I know. I still mine…but I don't see yours. Even when they were there, I didn't see them," he told her. She smiled softly at him, and he pulled her closer to him.

They stayed like that for a while. And tried again with swimming. He was getting a lot better at it. They ate some dinner and decided to start heading back as it got dark. They were about to be at the fence when Peeta stopped them.

"Hang on, I gotta let them know we're back so they'll turn the cameras off," He pressed his watch the way Haymitch showed him and waited for a moment.

"Well, I guess you two finally decided to grace us with your presence again," a voice said from his watch. They must not be happy that Peeta and Katniss stayed out all day. They just eyed each other.

"Do you want to stay at my house again tonight? They couldn't get any madder than they already are at us," he joked. She smiled and nodded. He pressed his watch again.

"Yes, we're back. And Katniss is going to sleep over at my house again tonight. So, will you keep the microphones down in there also please?" He asked kindly. They waited a moment before someone started talking again.

"The cameras are down. You'll be able to make it back to your house in one piece. We'll let Haymitch know when we're turning the microphones back on," And then there was nothing. They crawled through the fence and walked around town avoiding the main streets to walk back to the Victor's Village.

"They're not happy," Katniss said. Meaning the rebel team from 13 that had taken over the Capitol's cameras and microphones, and could turn them on and off, or let the Capitol see and hear anything we wanted them to. Beetee got them through the Capitols whole defense.

He nodded his head in agreement with her.

"Well, they'll just have to live with it now, won't they?" he didn't care if the rebels who were in charge were angry with him. All the rebels were fully aware that they had already succeeded. They already knew they were getting this second chance, so he didn't care if they were angry that they left the district for the day. Or that they had the microphones down for three days?

Katniss nodded. They were walking through a back alley when they heard someone coming.

"Come on Letty wait up," they heard a girl say. Peeta grabbed Katniss' hand and led her around a big crate that was opened, facing the alley wall. They sat down behind it, in between the building and the open crate, as three girls from their school were walking by.

"Letty tell us already," The girl giggled. Katniss peaked her out and then sat back, rolling her eyes.

"That girls from the Seam. She's such a whore," she whispered. Peeta was shocked to hear talk like that about someone. Although she did have a point. He knew who Letty was. Everyone knew who Letty was. And she was actually a whore. "Those are her friends Colleen and Marla,"

"Are you gonna tell us where you got that hickey from?" Marla asked. Katniss and Peeta both looked at each other and sighed. They sat down all the way and made themselves comfortable. This was going to take a while.

"I already told you it's a secret," Letty told them.

"It's probably just old Cray. He always leaves hickeys on the girls' necks," Colleen laughed.

"Gross it wasn't him. It was someone ten times better than Cray. But I'm seriously not allowed to tell because it's a secret," Letty taunted them.

"Well then give us some details. What did you do with your secret lover boy?" Marla asked. Katniss sighed.

"This is going to take forever," Katniss complained. Peeta nodded in agreement.

"You want all the dirty details? I'm sure you'll get bored," Letty joked. Katniss nodded her head in agreement, making Peeta smile.

"Well, he was absolutely amazing. I gave him a hand job and a blow job. He came both times. He even went down on me and fingered me. My God, he made me cum so many times. Like really gush. And that was even before he put it inside me," Letty told them.

The girls all giggled. Peeta could feel his face flush and looked over awkwardly at Katniss. Her eyes were squinting but she wasn't blushing. The purest girl he had ever met.

The question that had been on his mind about if she knew things about sex was instantly answered by her face. He could read her like a book, and he knew that she had no idea what they were talking about. This conversation should make her uncomfortable. He knew everything Letty said of course. He had older brothers. But Katniss didn't understand.

"And it's huge. Like 9 inches huge. Measured it myself. And he fucked me for hours. In every position possible. I have no idea how many times I came. God he was so amazing. I don't think I'll be able to walk straight for a week," Letty said, letting out a dreamy sigh. The girls just giggled.

"Just tell us who this mystery boy is already," Marla whined. But Letty shook her head.

"I seriously can't girls. I've been sworn to secrecy. He's supposed to be in love with another girl. And no one can find out about us. Now come on. I was supposed to be home ages ago," Letty said and led the girls away. Peeta grabbed Katniss' hand and made a run for it before they got stuck in the alley again. They were careful not to run into anyone again.

He was surprised to now see Haymitch waiting for them when they got back. "Hey," Peeta said. Haymitch rolled his eyes and took a drink.

"Why am I getting bitched at that you're asking for the cameras and microphones to be down again? Why do I have to put up with their garbage?" Haymitch asked. Peeta smiled.

"Do you mind giving us one more night?" Peeta asked. Haymitch took another drink.

"I'd give you the whole six months if I could," he said, and then walked back into his house. Peeta led her into his house, and he started putting lights on and taking things out of his backpack.

"Which room is yours?" she asked. He suddenly realized that even though he had been in her room, she had never once been in his room. She had never even been upstairs in his house.

"I sleep in the one that your mother does at your house," he said. She nodded her head and turned around. He washed all his dishes and cleaned up his kitchen. He ran up the stairs and heard his shower running but realized that his bedroom light was off. She had never even bothered to turn it on. Oddly, that made him smile. She felt comfortable enough to just walk around. It was a totally weird thing, but it made him smile non the less.

He grabbed something from his drawers. This was the first time that she would be sleeping in something that was his. Not something the Capitol gave him, but clothes that he wore. He grabbed a pair of his boxer shorts and one of his t shirts and quietly opened the door. Katniss was behind the glass door. He couldn't really see her. It was more of a blob. But still she was in HIS shower. He shook his head. Now was the not the time to be staring at her.

He put his clothes on the counter and quietly left the bathroom. He grabbed something for him to wear and ran down to his other bathroom and hopped right into that shower. Making sure it was cold. He needed to cool off. After hearing all that sex talk and just imagining that it was him and Katniss doing all that, was making him hot. Too hot. And it didn't help that she was naked in his shower. Naked in his house! And she'd be wearing his clothes.

He felt like he was in dangerous territory. This was the first time that they'd be sleeping in his house by themselves. Sure, she had slept there today, but she had no choice because she was given a sedative. Whenever they had slept in bed together, it had been in her house. With her mom and sister down the hall. Or on a train full of people. And microphones. Or in the training center in the capitol. Tonight, it would be them. All alone. And no microphones on. She would be sleeping in his bed, and in his clothes. God what did he get himself into? Maybe he should have offered that they sleep at her house again. That was safe. The cold water calmed him down. He took a quick hot shower, ready to get away from the freezing cold.

When he got out of the shower and started drying off, he realized he must have dropped his shirt somewhere while he was rushing downstairs. So, he put his shorts on and used his towel to start drying off his hair and started walking upstairs.

When he got to his room, he didn't hear the shower running anymore. He found his shirt in the doorway and picked it up. He walked over to his bed and shook his head, letting water fly around as his bathroom door opened. He looked up and saw Katniss walk out, towel drying her own hair. He gulped as his mouth went dry. She looked beautiful. He saw her blush a little bit as he stared at her. Yep. It was official. This was a bad idea…but he wouldn't take it back.

"Where can I put the towel?" she asked. He shook his head, clearing his mind.

"I'll take it," he said, holding his arm out. She handed him the towel and walked over to his hamper, throwing both their towels in it. Katniss Everdeen was standing in the middle of his room. And she was wearing his clothes. He could tell she had no bra on. He wondered if she wore her underwear under his boxers. He shook his head again.

"Why do you keep shaking your head? Do you have water in your ears from the lake?" she asked. He chuckled.

"No, I don't it's just…" he trailed off and looked at her. He walked closer to her until she was standing right in front of her. He looked her up and down and then looked at her face.

"I've never seen you more beautiful than you are wearing my clothes," he said huskily. Her face turned beat red. "And I'm thinking that maybe sleeping here by ourselves wasn't such a great idea," He told her honestly. She tilted her head.

"Why not?" she asked innocently. He chuckled and scratched the back of his head and finally pulled his shirt on.

"Well…its different now. We're by ourselves. Like really by ourselves. And we're gonna be sleeping in the same bed, and you're wearing my clothes and looking so beautiful I just…" he trailed off, shifting around on his feet.

"I don't know how I cannot kiss you senseless all night long. I don't know how I'm gonna stop myself," he chuckled. She sucked in a breath quickly and looked down at her feet and then straight at him. She stepped closer to him and stared down at his chest. He could feel himself blushing from her stare. Her eyes trailed up and she closed the distance between them.

"What if I don't want you to stop?" she whispered to him. He slowly felt her lifting her arms up until they were wrapped around his neck. She leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips and pulled back slightly to look at him. He didn't move and she did it again. But lingering a second longer before pulling back again.

"Peeta," she whispered. His name on her lips sounded like heaven. It was just what he wanted to hear. He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her body tight against his and kissed her passionately. Sucking and licking her lips. She opened her mouth and he pushed his tongue inside, meeting hers.

He gently walked them backwards until the back of her knees hit the bed. He helped her lay down without breaking apart. He laid half on top of her with one of his legs between both of hers and he dragged one of her legs up, so it was wrapped around his hip. He kissed her all over, biting and sucking on her neck, making her let out gasps and soft moans.

Her arms were around his neck and buried in his hair. His left hand started out on her cheek, but then it slowly made its way down her side, to her hip, to her leg that was around his hip. He squeezed the outside of her thigh and then rested his hand on her hip again. Her shirt rode up a bit and he was able to touch her smooth skin. He put his hand behind her on her back and pulled her closer to him. He felt himself aching. Hard as a rock. And he only had thin boxer shorts on. Hell, so did she. He knew she could feel him hard against her, on her leg, but had no idea what it was.

Katniss hands were on his back, and she was trying to pull him closer. Her hand went down lower and grazed the top of his butt and she gasped. He pulled back to look at her and her hands shot up to his shoulders.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that," she was embarrassed. He smiled down at her and kissed her lips softly.

"It's ok. I don't mind actually," he told her breathlessly. Having her touch him like that was a thrill. "Are you ok? Do you need to stop?" he asked. She smiled at him and shook her head.

"No, I don't want to stop," she whispered and smiled again, so he went back to kissing her passionately. Yep, it really was a bad idea to have her sleep over. His hand went back and forth from her back to her lower hip. After a while his hand that was on her hip, he gently pushed three of his fingers and slip under his boxer shorts that she was wearing. He felt her stiffen and he pulled away immediately. Her eyes were wide.

"Katniss are you ok? What's wrong?" he asked her frantically. He was so worried he stepped over the line.

"I... I don't want to get pregnant Peeta," she whispered. He shook his head.

"No Katniss you won't. You can't get pregnant right now. That shot that they gave you has birth control in it for another month and a half. And besides, we're still dressed," he joked. She eyed him warily, and he figured now was a good time as any.

"Katniss…" he trailed off and rolled off of her, so he was on his side facing her. She leaned up on her elbow, so she was facing him.

"What?" she asked. He looked around and realized that they hadn't even got under the covers. He moved them so they could get under the blankets. He turned off the light and they just had the lamp and the moon shining in. He situated himself and her under the blankets. Something about it not being bright, and under the covers made it better.

"Did you understand what Letty was talking about?" he finally asked. It wasn't so dark, so he could still see her face. She looked around uncomfortably and cleared her throat. This is where Katniss likes to run away, so he moved closer and wrapped his arm loose over her body.

"Don't leave," he whispered. She avoided his eyes.

"No," she whispered. Finally admitting it. They stayed silent for a few minutes. "I know she…I know she was talking about sex. I just…" Katniss trailed off.

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad at me. Or feel embarrassed that I'm asking you?" Peeta asked. She narrowed her eyes at him, worried.

"I don't know," she said suspiciously. But he smiled at her and kissed her softly and then pulled back. He took a deep breath.

"I know that you know you have to have sex in order to get pregnant. But do you…" he looked around and swallowed hard. "Do you actually know how exactly you have sex?" she laid her head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. They were quiet for a while.

"I don't know any specifics." He was shocked she actually admitted it. "When we had to take that sex ed class…our parents could sign the paper to excuse us from the class. On that stupid condition that our parents teach us what sex is," she said. He nodded his head at her.

He already figured that much. He remembered when he took that class, he was so relieved that she wasn't there. He'd never be able to concentrate because he'd be staring at her. It was hard enough that the whole time he fantasized that it was him and her having sex. Of course, he already did think about her before that. But had she actually been sitting there; it would have been worse.

"Yeah, I remembered your mom signed it, so you were excused," She looked over at him. He was still leaning on his elbow, looking down at her and she moved onto her side, keeping her head on the pillow.

"My mother never signed it. I signed it for her so I wouldn't have to take that class," She whispered. His eye widened and so did his smile.

"You forged your mother's name?" he laughed. She smiled and nodded back at him.

"My mother is a healer. No one at school ever questioned it. They just assumed that she would tell me. But I never told my mother. And if she knew that I had forged her signature, I know she'd never say anything about it," Katniss said. He chuckled at her. He was laying on his right side, so he brought his left hand down her hands that were laying on her stomach and squeezed them.

"I know it's weird and uncomfortable, but I could tell you," he said. She wasn't looking at him. She was avoiding his face and looking at the wall. "I mean, I can actually explain it, so you know what Letty said. Although I don't want to overwhelm you with every nasty detail of what she did. Most girls don't do all that in one night unless..." he trailed off and she looked back at him.

"Unless you're a whore?" she asked. He chuckled.

"Yeah…I feel bad saying that. I know some girls in the Seam go to Cray so they can get some money or food. I feel horrible. But the way Letty just always flaunts it and the way she talked about it tonight…" he hated talking about someone like that. He cleared his throat and sat up and leaned back against the wall.

"Do you want me to?" he asked. She shifted around on the bed before she finally nodded her head. He nodded his own head.

"Ok...so um," where should he ever start this conversation? He's never had to explain, in detail how sex worked. He's never had to explain it all. He doesn't know from experience, but he wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what people had to do in order to have sex.

"Well, you know what happens when a guy gets excited. Like aroused right?" he thought she would at least know that. But she shook her head again and he cleared his throat.

"Ok well…when that happens for a guy. His um…penis, well… it gets hard," He stuttered, making sure not to look at her. He was never at a loss for words.

"Hard?" she asked. He nodded his head. "Does it hurt?" he smiled at her.

"It's not a bad kind of hurt. It's a good kind of hurt. If a guy gets hard, that means he feels really good. And it gets longer when it happens," her eyes widened a little.

"Your penis grows?" she asked before she could stop herself. He chuckled and scratched the back of his head. He couldn't help it. He had never heard someone ask that. He had never even thought of it like that.

"Yeah, it does. It just happens. And um…when a guy is aroused…out of the tip…God I never thought I would be at such a loss for words," He joked. He looked at her face and noticed it was beet red with embarrassment.

"Well, a liquid comes out. It's called pre cum. And it kinda drips out," He said. He saw her squish up her nose. "And when a girl gets…aroused or excited…a girl gets wet," Peeta said. God the look on her face. How was this fierce girl, so innocently pure?

"In...inside her vagina. You get wet. It's a good thing. It's not a bad thing," he clarified. She nodded her head. He figured she just didn't want to ask any more questions, so he went on.

"So, when both the guy and girl are both ready like that…well the guy, he lays on top of the girl. Between both of her legs. And he lines his penis up with her vagina," oh good God, he was finally embarrassed. Just don't think about doing that to Katniss right now.

"There's a place inside you…for lack of a better word, a hole. And he pushes- "he stopped and looked at her. She was confused. "Ok give me your hand and make a fist," he said, holding his hand out. She stared at him like he was crazy but gave him her hand and made a fist. He touched the side where her thumb and pointer finger were with one of his fingers.

"Ok, so let's pretend- God if my brothers could see me now," he joked. She glared at him. "Right. Sorry." he cleared his throat. He tapped his finger again.

"Ok, this is the spot inside you," he said and then he slowly started pushing his finger, making his way into her fist. "The guys pushes inside of you like this," he whispered huskily, as he slowly start mimicking what he-the man would do to the woman.

"How is that supposed to feel good?"

"Well for a guy…" He pulled out his finger and held it up and took his thumb and pointer finger of his other hand and rubbed it up and down. "For a guy, this whole area is really sensitive. Being inside a girl…it feels good." He said. He picked her hand back up and showed her.

"Let's say this is the girl's vagina," he touched her knuckle. He then put his finger back inside her fist and turned his finger over, so his hand was palm up. He rubbed the part of her palm that was right under her first knuckle.

"There's this spot right here, and that's what makes the girl feel really good. Of course, the whole thing feels good," he turned his finger again and moved his finger in and out "Inside feels good, but it's that one spot inside that makes the girls the happiest," He said gently. He didn't know if he could go into any type of detail about what other spot would make her feel good.

He had forgotten for a moment what they were talking about. It just came out easy. He could tell she felt the same way, but then realized it and blushed furiously, and he let go of her hand.

"You ok?" she nodded her head.

"Yeah, I'm fine…it just seems so simple. I don't know what the big deal is," She said as he chuckled.

"Well, most people do it do it because they're in love. And when you do it right…you do it for an orgasm," he told her softly. She looked at him blankly.

"I don't know how to describe it for a girl. The way Ryee explained it, it's a big toe-curling experience," Peeta chuckled. "It's basically when everything just feels good at once. For a guy it's pretty much the same. But an orgasm is different physically for a guy and girl," He said. she raised her eyebrow.

"When a guy has an orgasm…another word for it is cumming. And when a guy…cums…more of that liquid that I said at the beginning shoots out of the guy. And when the guy is inside…that's what you have to do to get pregnant. When a guy cums inside of her. But it's supposed to feel amazing," he said and cleared his throat.

"It feels good when you can share that experience with someone you love…it makes it more intense," she tilted her head.

"And how do you know that?" she asked.

"Finnick told me, "He said simply. She nodded her head. She had wondered when they had any time to discuss sex. They sat quietly for a long time.

"You must think I'm totally ridiculous for not knowing how any of that works. God everyone would fall over laughing if they knew. I'm supposed to be the Girl on Fire. The Mockingjay. And I have no idea what sex is," She said groaning and covering her face with one of her hands. Peeta took her hand away from her face and held it between his own.

"It totally makes me fall in love with you even more," she picked her head up and stared at him. He just smiled at her thought.

"You're completely nuts. You know this right?" he just nodded his head and chuckled.

"Anything that comes to you I am. I'll have to agree with you on that," she rolled her eyes at him. "I told you. You're pure," he whispered. She shifted uncomfortably. He cleared his throat and brushed his thumb back and forth over her hand.

"I wanna experience all that with you," he whispered. She looked up at him nervously "In the future. When we're both ready. If we did anything right now…I just don't think emotionally we're in that place yet,"

"I'm too much of a nutcase to have sex with," she grumbled.

"That's not what I said. As much as I'd love to do everything with you right here and now…I'm just not ready for that either. That part of our relationship should wait until we're both ready. When it can be all about us. When we don't have to pretend that we're together. That we're not speaking to each other. When we can be together out in the open, and it's not a secret anymore, and everyone knows it. When the arenas and the wars are all behind us," she looked back up at him.

"What…other stuff was Letty talking about?" she asked. He didn't really know how to answer that. "I know that there are other things that people do. Sexual stuff that isn't exactly sex. I know she was talking about it," he shifted around uncomfortably.

"There are other things that people do, that feel good…but I don't want to tell you. I'd rather show you," her eyes widened, and he shook his head to calm her nerves. "Not right now. Later on. When the moments right. And we can do more than just kiss. I'd rather show you how good things can be. But later…so will you just take my word for it?" he asked. She rolled her eyes again.

"Ok," she said. He kissed her cheek and made her lay down again. He rested his hands that were lying on her stomach.

"I want to do so much with you Katniss Everdeen. And it's hard. Having you in my bed like this. Talking about this stuff…but I want something like this to not be spoiled for us. So much has been ruined for us already. Growing up in 12…we've missed out on a lot. Being in the arena…so much has been taken from us. But not this. They can't take that part of our relationship away from us. What we have is special. It's ours. And I don't ever want to rush it," she smiled, and he kissed her again. He could wait to make love to Katniss. It would be good for them to wait. But try telling his lower half that.

She curled up into him and tucked her head under his chin. "I can't wait for that time either," she whispered. He smiled and kissed the top of her head.

When Katniss started to wake up the next morning it took her a moment to figure out that she wasn't in her house, but in Peeta's house. In Peeta's clothes. In Peeta's bed. She could hear him downstairs and could smell the breakfast he was making in the kitchen. It made her smile.

She held his pillow to her nose and breathed in deeply. It was comforting. It smelled like fresh bread, cinnamon, and spices. She suddenly wished that she could wake up here every morning.

She changed in Peeta's bathroom and then crept down the stairs quietly and could figure out that he was making cheese buns and frying some bacon. She got to the kitchen and Peeta was putting her plate down. He looked up and smiled at her.

"Good morning," he said and gave her a large smile. He walked over and kissed her softly on the lips. "How'd you sleep?" he asked.

"Slept through the night. What about you?" she asked as he led her over to the table and pulled out her chair for her to sit in.

"Same here," he said as he started making his own plate of food and set it down. She looked down at the cheese buns. These were her favorite. He placed some maple syrup on the table for the pancakes and he told her to eat. She didn't have to be told twice. She loved eating anything Peeta made.

"Thank you," she said. He just smiled at her. "What did you put in the pancakes?" she asked him as he was finishing up at the stove.

"I mashed up some bananas and put them in with the pancake mix. Then I added some fresh blueberries," he said. She smiled at him.

"I didn't know you liked blueberries," she said. She suddenly remembered about a blueberry patch not far from the fence. She'd have to remember to pick some for him. He went to the fridge and walked up behind her and leaned over her to place her glass of orange juice on the table.

He kissed her ear and sucked on it, causing her to gasp. His hands squeezed her shoulders and he started kissing his way down her neck to her shoulder. He came to her side and knelt down on his knee.

"Good morning," he whispered. She smiled as he kissed her lips softly.

"Good morning again," she whispered back to him.

"Well, it is a good morning. I woke up with you, in my arms. I get to make you breakfast. It's a most perfect morning," he whispered and brought his hands to her cheeks and kissed her. She turned herself and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. His hands started traveling down her body to her thighs.

He just started kissing the other side of her neck when the kitchen door crashed open. They jumped and looked over to see Haymitch practically falling in. They raised their eyebrows as they watched him.

"Don't get up. Please. I can manage it," he said and shut the door behind him and stumbled over to the table. "What's for breakfast?" he asked. Peeta and Katniss just stared at him. Peeta closed his eyes, shook his head and chuckled. He looked back at Katniss and kissed her lips and squeezed her thigh and went back over to the counter. She cleared her throat and pulled her chair closer to the table.

"Well?" Haymitch asked. They looked up at him. "What's for breakfast?" he asked again. Peeta chuckled and handed him a plate.

"No cinnamon rolls?" he asks.

"You're welcome," Katniss said. Peeta laughed and opened the oven and pulled out cinnamon rolls and placed them on the table.

"There we go," Haymitch said and grabbed one and started devouring it. Katniss rolled her eyes. Peeta finished putting everything onto the table and joined them.

"How was your trip into the woods? You didn't knock her up, did you?" Haymitch asked. Katniss dropped her fork and Peeta just stared at him.

"Really Haymitch?" Peeta asked. Haymitch smiled.

"I'm just trying to keep you respectable. And I don't know what you two are up to behind the fence or behind closed doors. She still has birth control for another-

"Haymitch!" Peeta said. But Haymitch just laughed. Katniss' face was bright red.

"So, what are you doing here exactly? Besides torturing us with your presence. You ruined a perfectly good morning," she grumbled. Haymitch bit some more of his cinnamon bun.

"I'm just checking in with you. You go from hot to cold in two second's flat. You were fine last night, but who the hell knows how you're going to be five minutes from now," Haymitch said. Katniss just looked down at her plate.

"She's ok. She's going to be just fine," Peeta said. Katniss looked up and he smiled at her.

"Snow found out about the kiss between you and Gale," Haymitch said. They slowly just looked at each other. "This is a good thing. And he's seen footage from the cameras of you going into the woods, and of you two avoiding each other. So, he's mad. For a month and a half, job well done," Haymitch told them. Katniss picked at her pancake, getting syrup all over her fingers.

"That's great," Peeta said, with no feeling behind it.

"If I could change things for you both, I would do it in a heartbeat," Haymitch said. They both looked over to him.

"We know," Peeta told him. Katniss nodded her head.

"All we can do is take it one step at a time. In a few days I want Katniss to come to my house. Check up on me. Preferably to bring me more liquor. Sit down and talk with me. Argue with me about something. Then, I want you to walk in," Haymitch said and looked over at Peeta.

"And I want it to be awkward. Whenever she's trying to act, she's awkward, so for once you don't need to act sweetheart," Haymitch told her. She just glared at him. "I want Katniss to try and talk with you, but I want you to blow her off. Make some hurtful comment about what she did to you and storm back into your house. Got it?" Haymitch asked. They both nodded their heads.

"And Gale's going to have to kiss you again," Haymitch said, looking down at his food. He didn't want to look at either of them when he said that. Peeta leaned forward and took Katniss' hand and squeezed it, making her look up.

"If a simple kiss with Gale gets us our freedom, then I'm all for it. We just have to get through these next few months, and then we're on to the next stage. We can get through this," Peeta told her.

"I want you to bring a squirrel to the bakery like you always did. For Peeta's father. But instead, I want you to answer the door," Haymitch told him. Peeta just closed his eyes. If this wasn't so hard on Katniss, he could do this. But all of this was so hard on her.

If he hadn't talked with Haymitch a couple of days ago, he would question why they are doing some things different than before. They already knew what they had done in the past, worked. But it was to save some people from dying. Certain people all over Panem were a part of the Revolution. Once they were found out, they were killed. Or they just died as a casualty for war. Snow had a couple advisors that…basically advised him on how to handle the situation. But what Snow had no idea of…was that he had a large handful of advisors, that were NOT on his side. So, they had to do some things differently, so when his advisors were gone, things would still go on as planned.

"I'll tell you that morning what I want you to do. I don't want you spending all this time thinking about it. Snow watches these moments. This is what will set things in motion. And I promise sweetheart, it's all going to be worth it," Haymitch said Katniss nodded her head.

"After breakfast…you're gonna have to head to your own house. And you'll have to stay away from each other for a while," Haymitch told them. They both looked over at him.

"They need you guys to stay apart. It's not always the easiest to just turn off the cameras and microphones and not have anyone notice,"

"Did they tell you this?" Katniss asked. Haymitch let out a deep breath.

"Yes. The rebels want you both to stay away from each other," he told them. Katniss pulled her feet up to the chair and hugged her legs.

"All this sacrificing. I promise you it'll all be worth it. And then you'll stick it to the bastards," Haymitch told them. Katniss nodded her head.

"What else have you heard?" Peeta asked as he sadly looked at Katniss. He hated that as soon as breakfast was over, she'd have to leave again. He already missed her so much.

"It's just amazing to me how many people in every district that actually remember. Everyone's putting plans in motion. Everyone's preparing to fight, with the least number of casualties. Beetee and his friends are working on using the Peacekeepers trackers against the Capitol. They're working out all these different escape plans for the next year. It's really incredible," Haymitch said. Katniss looked up at him.

"And the best part…they have better plans on getting everyone out of the Quell," Haymitch told her. Katniss sucked in a deep breath. "We have a few plans in motion. What happens if this goes wrong, what happens if that goes wrong. We are making sure that this boy doesn't get captured again. No one is letting that happen. Because it was one of the biggest failures of the Rebellion. We're not making that same mistake twice. Peeta's getting out of there," Haymitch told her. Katniss put her head down on her knees and let out a sob.

Peeta got off his chair and bent down on the floor like he was before Haymitch interrupted him and hugged her to him.

"I told you Katniss. I'm gonna make it out this time. I promise you," Peeta told her and kissed her head.

"No one gets left behind this time. We'll have a second hovercraft. They're already working on the forcefield around the arena as we speak. When you blow a hole through it, that's where we'll come in. But there's gonna be a second hole that isn't sturdy and will be forced to open when you blow it up. That'll be the second hovercraft. And together, we'll make sure Peeta, you, Finnick, Beetee, Johanna, Brutus and Enobaria are all on them," Haymitch said. Katniss looked up at him, and he was smiling at her.

"Thank you," she told Haymitch. He nodded his head. Peeta sat back at the table, and they all finished their breakfast. Haymitch stood up and put his hand on Katniss' shoulder.

"It's about time you head on home sweetheart," he said sadly. He turned and walked out of the house. Katniss covered her face with her hands.

"Come on Katniss," Peeta said and made her stand up. "I need to know that you'll be ok. This is only temporary. We'll be together really soon. We'll just count down the days until the Victory Tour. Four and a half months. We've already put a month and a half behind us. You can do this," Peeta told her. She hugged him tightly.

"What if I don't want to," Katniss whispered. He tangled his hand in her hair and kissed her head. "I just want to be able to come downstairs and eat breakfast with you. Any time I want to," she whispered. He pulled back and made her look at him.

He wanted to enjoy that moment. That one statement. She wants to come downstairs and eat breakfast with him whenever she wants to. Katniss never admits things like this. She keeps everything bottled in. He wanted to enjoy it, and he really couldn't. He had to send her back home. Snow ruined that for them.

"Katniss…when this is all over. When we've won this war…I want you to move in with me," he told her before he could stop himself. Her breath hitched in her throat, and he leaned his forehead against hers. "When it's all over, that'll mean that the rest of our lives is ours. And I want to start on that life with you. So, when it's all said and done. When Snow's been executed, I want to come back here. Me and you. And I want you to move in here with me. I don't want to live here alone anymore. I want this to be our home. And I want to have breakfast with you every single morning for the rest of our lives," he said. She let out a small chuckle. And after a moment she nodded her head.

"When it's all over…I want this to be our home to," she whispered. He smiled at her and kissed her held her tightly to him. She did want that future with him. It was something that he could look forward to. She wanted them to share a home together.

"When you get sad, you think about that. You think of what our life will be like in this house. Think of all the nights, sitting in front of the fire. Think about you bringing a turkey home and plucking it. Think of breakfasts and dinners together. Think of anything happy in this house. You may not live here right now, but Katniss Everdeen, this is your home," he told her. She let a tear fall down her cheek and he kissed it away.

"In your darkest moments, and I'm not there, think of this right here. Will you promise me that?" he asked. She nodded her head and he kissed her again and led her to the kitchen door. They stood looking at each other for a moment.

"I bet your mom and Prim are really worried about you," he said as he pushed some hair behind her ear. "Just keep remembering that it's only temporary. Just try and talk a lot. Walk around town a lot. Let the cameras and microphones catch you. So, the next time we want to sneak away together, they won't have such a hissy fit," he told her, making her chuckle. He took his hands and put them on her neck and used his thumbs to touch her lips.

"Just remember that I'm right next door if you need me," he told her. She nodded and he kissed her again. He pulled away and took a step back. She turned around and walked down his back porch and into her backyard. He leaned against the door frame and watched her. She got to her own back door and looked at him. He smiled and waved at her. She smiled and he watched her go back into her house. He shut his door and went back upstairs and slumped down on his bed.

He was alone. Again. He just had to endure his time in this house alone until one day it wasn't just his home, it was his home that he shared with Katniss.

Katniss moved around the house a little that day. When her mom and Prim engaged her in conversation, she talked with them.

"Do you think Ryee would build a fence? Lady loves to roam around, but she worries me that she'll wander too far. I just want her to stick to our three backyards," Prim said. Katniss looked over at her.

"Three?" Katniss asked.

"Yeah. Haymitch won't care. And I'll go ask Peeta, but I know he won't mind. That way she still has a lot of room. I just worry that if she wanders to far, she'll get lost. She's getting older now," Prim said. Katniss smiled.

"I'm sure they won't mind. You should ask Peeta if he'll ask Ryee. Peeta told me he loves building things, so it would make his day," Katniss said. Prim smiled at her and hugged her. That was something safe to say. He told her that in the Games.

Katniss went about the next few days doing everything she was supposed to. Picking up Rory to go hunting with her. Once he went to school, she'd make her way to the cabin and hide some stuff there for Bonnie and Twill, if they ever made it there.

She helped Prim in the garden. She would look up at Peeta's house, hoping to see him. But she knew during the day he busied himself at the bakery.

Prim cleared her throat, and after a minute she did it again. Katniss looked up at her, and she eyed the tree towards the way back. Katniss stared at her, confused. Prim just smiled and went inside. She rolled her eyes and walked over and behind the tree.

There was a hole in the back of the tree and there was something inside. She sat down and realized it was a notebook, with a pen. She pulled it out and opened it. There on the first page was a note from Peeta.

Katniss.

I know this isn't the real thing. Talking in person. But we can always talk through here. The camera doesn't go this far back, so they can't see anything.

I'm sure you're thinking that you can't sit here and write a letter. That's not you. And it's ok. I don't expect you to write a novel. But you can always tell me about your day. And when you're feeling sad you can just come out here and read. You'll know that I'm thinking about you.

I can't wait till this is all over. I miss being with you. But every day, we're one day closer. One day closer to the Victory Tour, where I can hold you in my arms every night. One day closer to ending this war.

Just know that I miss you all day, every day.

Peeta

She smiled. That was so thoughtful. It was just what she needed. She sat back against the tree. Peeta was right. She really wasn't good at writing. But she tried.

Hi. Thank you for doing this. I wish I had thought to do this. How do you do that? You do something for me, that I never knew that it was exactly what I needed?

Prim's chickens are annoying. She keeps leaving the door open and they run out. When is Ryee coming over to build the fence? Can he do something to keep those damn chickens in the yard?

Rory shot a rabbit today. It was really fat and slow, so it was impossible to miss. He butchered it, but he was really excited, so I didn't tell him that he made a mess out of the meat.

Posy wants more cookies with pink frosting.

And I've been talking more with Prim and my mom.

That was horrible. Maybe she'd get better.

She brought Haymitch some liquor and sat down at his table. Looking particularly depressed. "Why the long face sweetheart?" Haymitch asked. She just shrugged.

"Let me guess. Nightmares?" he asked her. She nodded her head. "Get used to them. They never go away. You just learn to sleep around them," Haymitch said. Katniss yawned.

"The boy gets them to," Haymitch told her. Katniss looked away. "They're always about you. You dying in his arms. Or they're about you breaking his heart," Haymitch said. She whipped her head over to him.

"What was I supposed to do Haymitch? I had to convince them. I was only trying to save his life. I never wanted him to die," she told him.

"Then why don't you go over to his house and tell him? He comes over here every day. Depressed. Missing you. Feeling stupid. Why don't you just put him out of his misery and go talk to him?" Haymitch asked.

Katniss sat in silence with him for a few minutes, and then they heard the front door open and close. She hadn't seen Peeta in a few days.

"Haymitch, I brought you Cinnamon rolls. You don't have to throw things at my door. I get it," Peeta said and stopped in the kitchen when he saw her. "Hi Katniss," Peeta said, uncomfortably. She gulped.

"Hi Peeta," she said awkwardly. Peeta stared at her for a moment, but then went about the kitchen getting plates and silverware.

"I brought your shoes back Haymitch. But your phones broken. I called Effie and told her to send you another one. You really don't have to throw anything at my front door in the middle of the night. I was sleeping," Peeta told him with his back towards Katniss.

"Would you like a Cinnamon roll Katniss?" he asked without turning around.

"No. But thank you," she said.

"You're welcome," he told her. He turned around and handed a plate to Haymitch. He walked over and hugged Katniss and softly kissed her on the lips.

"I'm just going to get going," Peeta said and patted Haymitch on the shoulder. "Katniss," he said and smiled at her before he walked back out.

She missed him so much. She hated these moments, when he was right in front of her, and she couldn't do anything about it.

"Well go and follow him. Give the kid something," Haymitch said. Katniss got up and followed him.

"Peeta," she said. He turned around in front of his house and she caught up to him.

"Yes?" he asked. She stood in front of him. Not knowing what to say. She opened her mouth a few times, but then shut it again. She gulped.

"I wanted to just see how you were doing," she said. She turned her head and made a face. Peeta smiled at her. She knew he was mocking her. She was terrible at this.

"I'm doing very well. Thank you for asking," he said and squeezed her hand. Then he turned to walk into his house.

"Peeta wait," she said. He turned back around.

"Katniss, I don't want to play this game. I've already played a game with you and came out with egg all over my face. So, if there's something you'd like to say to me, then please say it. Or just let me go and we can continue avoiding each other," Peeta said. He kissed her one more time and went back into his house.

Katniss,

I'm sorry for last time. I always gave you the cold shoulder. I feel ashamed that I ever treated you like that. I'm so sorry. I was just embarrassed for getting my hopes up.

But I know now that things are different between us. And that's what I always think about to get me through to the next day.

You did good today. I know how hard that was for you. Please don't let it get to you. Please don't let it upset you. We're doing this for our freedom.

Love,

Peeta

Peeta,

You always say the right things. I'm sorry I lied. But I'm more sorry for the way I reacted. I should have come and talked to you. But I never did.

Thank you for the dandelions that you dropped off with the cookies.

Katniss

Katniss,

I wish you wouldn't beat yourself up over what happened last time. I wish there was some way that I could get you to forgive yourself. I'm not angry. I'm not upset. I've let that go. I've moved on from that. It's part of our past, and we're making up for it now.

You're welcome for the dandelions. It's getting cold, so everything's starting to freeze over. But I'm glad it made you smile. I love when you smile. It brightens my whole day.

Love,

Peeta

She went hunting with Gale on Sunday. Haymitch had already spoken with her and Gale. She caught the squirrels. Got the blueberries. And now, she just had to kiss Gale. "I'm sorry you know," Gale said as they were walking towards the fence.

"I hate doing this. And I can tell it only makes you upset," Gale said. Katniss let out a deep breath.

"It's not your fault. It's his," she said. They both knew who she meant. Snow. They got outside the fence and started making their way towards town. She could see the Bakery.

"Why are you so mad at me today?" Katniss demanded. Gale spun around.

"Do you even see what you're wearing? Look what they've turned you into," Gale snapped at her.

"What does it matter what I'm wearing? Reporters come here all the time. If they see me- "

"If they see you in what, poor people's clothes?" Gale demanded. Her mouth fell open.

"How can you say that me? You know that is not how I feel. You know me Gale!"

"I thought I knew you. But the girl who came back was The Girl on Fire! One of the Star-Crossed lovers!"

"You know I had to do that with Peeta to survive the Games," Katniss told him, her voice catching.

"You didn't have to do that. You chose to," Gale told her. But before she could respond, Gale lunged forward and grabbed her, kissing her hard on the lips. Before she had time to respond, it was over.

"Tell me you felt nothing, and I'll never mention it again. I'll do a toast at your wedding. You just have to tell me," Gale said. So, Katniss said nothing. Gale nodded and walked away. Katniss stood there, stunned. Her act wasn't over though. Haymitch planned for her to just get this all over with in one day. Then give her a break…until she had to do something else.

She could see the back of the Bakery. She walked towards it and stopped and looked at the tree where she had sat down, when she saw Peeta throw bread to her. She smiled sadly. That seemed like a million years ago. She walked up the back porch and knocked on the door. And she pretended to be startled when she saw Peeta answer then door.

"Peeta," she breathed and then shook her head. "I um…I caught two squirrels. And I wanted to give them to your father. He's usually down here at this time," she said and gulped. Peeta nodded his head. He couldn't give her a smile or a hug. There was a camera that was aimed right at the backdoor.

"He's up front talking with a family. I can take those to him. I'm sure he'll appreciate them," Peeta said and held out his hand. He wouldn't even look at her. He started to turn around, but then she stopped him.

"Wait!" she said. He turned back to look at her. She pulled a small bag out and showed it to him. "I found some blueberries for you. I know how much you love them," she said, holding them out for her. Peeta stared at her hand for a while and then looked up.

"Did you pick them? Or did Gale?" Peeta asked. Katniss just stared at him. "It's fine that you don't love me. Ok? I get it. You saved my life. I'm forever in your debt. But it's not like I did something to hurt you. You don't have to flaunt your relationship with him in front of me," Peeta told her. Katniss shook her head.

"I'm not flaunting- "

"You're making out with him right over there," Peeta said, pointing down the road where her and Gale were.

"Right where I can see. I don't care who you're with Katniss. But I'm not such a terrible person that you have to rub it in my face. I get it. You don't love me," Peeta said and shut the door.

Katniss stood there for a moment. Tears streaming down her face. She knew that this was an act. But…he should have said all that to her last time. She deserved that. She walked behind the shops and into the Hob. She wasn't going to let the blueberries go to waste and gave them away to trade for something. She knew no one would just accept them for nothing.

She had to walk past the Bakery again but just couldn't even bare it. "Hi Katniss," she heard a voice. She looked up and saw Madge. She hadn't seen her since she came back from the Games. Katniss wiped her face.

"Madge. Hi. How are you?" she asked. Madge smiled and walked over to her and looped her arm around Katniss' and started walking.

"Prim's doing something at school this afternoon," Madge said. How did she know that?

"Gale came by with strawberries and asked me if I'd walk you home. That you shouldn't be by yourself right now," she said as they were walking by the Bakery. Katniss nodded her head.

"I'm sorry I haven't seen you since I came back," Katniss told her. But Madge shook her head.

"It's ok. I can't imagine how that feels. But I know you've been through a lot. Three arenas and a war," Madge whispered. Katniss stopped and looked at her. Madge smiled and nodded her head.

"I remember to. Me and my dad weren't sure if anyone else had experienced the same thing. And I was kinda hinting around to it today when Gale came by to sell some strawberries to my dad. I'm not really good at hinting around. Gale figured it out right away what I was trying to ask him," Madge told her. Katniss hugged her. She had her friend again.

"Once Gale figured it out, he sent me over here and said that you shouldn't walk home from the Hob by yourself," Madge said. Katniss pulled back and wiped her face. "You wanna talk about it?" she asked. Katniss scoffed and shook her head.

"You'd be here a week if I told you everything," she said. Madge started walking with her again.

"Well, that's ok. I'm always here to listen," she said.

"If I were to tell you anything…you could be seen as a threat," Katniss said, surprising Madge. "And I won't do that to you," Katniss said. Madge nodded and they walked in silence for a while.

"I don't know what happened once the power went out here. I just remember seeing fire and then I was back here on Reaping Day. But is that going to happen again?" she asked sadly. Katniss nodded her head.

"But don't worry. Everyone's getting out this time. Not just some of us. You may just find out from other people as they start remembering. I'll tell Haymitch that your dad remembers as well. But no one's going to die in District 12 when I blow up the arena again," Katniss told her. Madge nodded her head. Katniss hadn't realized that they already had walked up to her house.

"Thank you for walking me past the Bakery," she said and hugged Madge.

"Any time you need me, just let me know," Madge said.

Peeta felt crappy all day after speaking to Katniss like that. They both knew it was an act, but still. He felt awful by the look on her face. He went home a few hours later and took a shower and went right to bed.

He listened to Prim laughing on the front porch as she was chasing one of the baby chickens from the backyard. Katniss must have run through the house because he heard her front door slam open, and Katniss ran out and caught the chicken. Prim's laughter warmed his heart.

"Oh, you poor thing. You can't run away like that," Prim laughed.

"Prim you have to keep the door shut, or they'll all run out like that all the time," Katniss told her. It wasn't in a stern voice. Just serious. But who could really be stern with Prim? The laughter died down again, and it was silent.

His dreams were filled with Katniss. When he was rescued and brought to District 13, and he saw her. He was inside his body, yelling at Katniss to run and save herself. But his body ran to Katniss and killed her.

He sat straight up in bed trying to catch his breath. His clothes and bed were drenched in sweat, and he was panting heavily. He looked over and it was only 3:00 in the morning. He got up and changed his clothes and his sheets, but he couldn't lay back down. He walked downstairs and sat on his front porch behind the railing, leaning against the house and his legs stretched out in front of him.

"Fancy meeting you out here," he heard Haymitch say. Peeta jumped and saw Haymitch sitting on his rocking chair on his own porch. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked.

Peeta shook his head. "Nightmare," Peeta admitted. Haymitch nodded.

"They're worse," Peeta said. Haymitch looked over at him and nodded again. He knew what Peeta meant. They were worse than last time. Of course they were. They had lived through the 75th Games, lived through a war, watched Katniss die, came back, and did the 74th Games again, and now are waiting for their Victory Tour to start again.

"They usually are. I'm sorry," Haymitch said. They sat there for a few minutes in silence until they were both startled by Katniss' front door opening. She was crying and came down and collapsed on her front steps. Her head on her knees and her hands clasped behind her head. Peeta went to stand up, but Haymitch waved for him to sit back down.

"You really have to make an effort to leave her alone until the Victory Tour. We should only be turning the mics and cameras off when it's important," Haymitch told him.

"Taking care of Katniss IS important," Peeta argued.

"I know it is. But YOU have to be a last resort. WE have to help her. And you have to stay back," Haymitch said.

Peeta sat there quietly and just watched her cry. He didn't dare move. Haymitch went over and sat next to her and hugged her. "It's ok sweetheart. It was just a nightmare,"

"He was in my room. Snow was there in my room, I saw him," she cried. Peeta sat up, but Haymitch shook his head.

"He wasn't there Katniss. I promise you. It was just a nightmare. Only a nightmare," he soothed her. Prim came out later on and with Haymitch's help brought her back upstairs. Peeta waited there until Haymitch came back out and sat with Peeta on his porch.

"Is she ok?" Peeta asked. Haymitch let out a deep breath.

"I guess we'll know in a few days. If she hasn't been sleeping, then she'll let us know," Haymitch said. By letting them know, meant that she would be sleep deprived and have another episode.

Everyone watched as it started happening again. Slower this time, but it was happening. She was barely sleeping or eating again. She met Gale at the fence and walked into the woods with him, but then sat down against the log. He sat down with her.

"How bad are the nightmares?" Gale asked her. She just looked straight ahead. "I get them to," Gale said. He looked over at her.

"I know they're not the same. I wasn't in the Games…but I have really bad nightmares to," Gale said. She nodded her head and let tears fall down her cheeks.

"How long has it been since I've been home?" Katniss asked.

"Little over three months now," Gale told her. She nodded.

"How do people live like this?" she whispered. Gale shook his head.

"They don't live. They just survive. That's all any of us do. That's just what we have to do right now," Gale said and looked up. "It's gonna start getting cold soon," Gale said. Katniss nodded her head. He chuckled and she looked over at him.

"Last time…I was really mad at him," Gale said. Meaning Peeta. "I forgot about this until this morning. Posy came in all excited because Peeta gave her cookies that he decorated in pink icing. She came in this morning and showed them to me, and she was so happy. I remember being so mad at him and wanting to take them back and throw them at him. But I would only hurt Posy if I did that," Gale said. Katniss nodded her head.

"I really wish I could hate him," Gale said. It made Katniss smile.

"I wish I could to. My whole life would be a lot easier right now," Katniss said.

"No, it wouldn't. You wouldn't be happy. You'd be another mentor. Stuck taking care of Haymitch by yourself. You'd live a sad miserable life," Gale told her.

It had been over three months. They were halfway there. Peeta would watch out the window, just to see Katniss walk by. God he was so pathetic. He had been waiting to see her, but she hadn't come out of her house in a few days. He knew why. She wasn't sleeping again. Haymitch, Prim and her mom were trying everything. But it was no use. They all knew it. She would only finally get some sleep if she was with Peeta.

He was walking home from the Bakery one afternoon and Prim came rushing out of the house. "Did you see where she went?" Prim asked.

"What? See who? Lady?" Peeta asked.

"No Katniss. I was trying to get her to calm down. I was filling up the bathtub for her to give her a bath and she just started screaming about Johanna being in the water," Prim said. He knew what Katniss was thinking about. Johanna had been tortured and almost drowned.

Before he could say anything, he looked at his front door and saw that it was wide open.

"Prim she's in my house. Go and get Haymitch. I'm gonna go get her," Peeta said and went into his house.

"Katniss?" he called out. He didn't get an answer. He heard something, but he wasn't sure what it was. He started running up the stairs and could hear it better. Frantic breathing. He walked slowly into his room, so he didn't scare her and saw Katniss in the corner of the room, leaning up against the wall, hiding her face in her knees. And she was holding a knife again.

"Katniss," he whispered. She picked her head up. He could see her whole body shaking.

"They have him. Snow has Peeta," she cried. He walked over to her slowly and squatted down to her.

"No Katniss. I'm right here," he told her softly. But she shook her head.

"No, he told me. He just told me he has you," she cried. It sent chills up his spine that she could hear's Snow's voice in her head. If she could hear his, would she start to hear other voices? Would this become a normal thing for her?

"Is he talking to you again?" Peeta asked. She cried and nodded her head. "What is he saying?" she let out a loud sob.

"He said he still has you. He made you hold Johanna's head down in the water because he hijacked you again. And that there was no way I could save you this time. He took every memory out of your brain. Your only job is to kill me," she cried.

"No Katniss. I'm right here. He doesn't have me. We're in my house," Peeta said. He heard Haymitch coming up the stairs. Peeta looked at him and he was drenched. Prim must have thrown water on him again.

"What happened?" he asked.

"He won't stop talking to her," Peeta said. Haymitch came over and squatted down next to them. "Katniss it's not real ok," Peeta told her.

"I have to protect Peeta. Please don't die Peeta," she cried.

"Get that knife away from her," Haymitch said. Peeta took it from her hands before she could protest, and he handed it back to Haymitch.

"Please don't kill him," Katniss cried. Peeta made Katniss look up at him. He held her face in his hands so she couldn't look away. She was forced to look at him.

"Katniss. I'm right here. I'm not gonna die," Peeta told her. Her whole body was shaking.

"I was trying to get her into the bathtub. I was hoping I could shake her out of it with the water. She hasn't showered in days," Prim said from the doorway. Peeta nodded his head.

"We could try and get her in there," Peeta said.

"She won't forgive you or me if we saw her like that," Haymitch said.

"Ok. We just get her in there. Prim can help her. We'll just make sure she doesn't run away again," Peeta told them. "Go start filling up the bathtub Prim," Peeta said. Prim ran into his bathroom and did what she was told.

"Katniss look at me," Peeta said and held her face. "Katniss can you hear me?" he asked her. She shook her head.

"Please don't kill him," she begged.

"Katniss stop listening to him. Listen to me," Peeta said.

"Tell that bastard to shut the fuck up Katniss!" Haymitch told her. Peeta nodded.

"Katniss tell him to go away. Tell him to leave you alone," Peeta told her. She buried her face in her knees and held onto her head from the back.

"Go away, go away!" She cried. She kept repeating it over and over for about a minute and then just stopped.

"Katniss. Can you hear me?" Peeta asked. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Katniss can you hear me?" he asked her again.

"Peeta," she whispered. He let out a sigh of relief and hugged her. "I heard him talking to me again," she cried. Haymitch sat on the floor leaning against his bed.

"I know you did," Peeta said.

"You told me to come get you if he started talking to me again," Katniss said. Peeta and Haymitch looked at each other.

"That's right. I did say that. You did good Katniss," Peeta said, relieved that she remembered that.

"Why does he only talk to me? Why is he doing this?" she cried. He hugged her tighter.

"He talks to all of us sweetheart. He just goes after you more," Haymitch said.

"He's evil Katniss. And we're gonna beat him. You just gotta hold on. You gotta keep holding on," Peeta said.

"It's filled up," Prim said. Peeta nodded and him and Haymitch got up and helped Katniss stand up.

"Prim's gonna help you take a bath ok," Peeta told her. Katniss shook her head frantically.

"No, no, no. He's trying to drown me like Johanna," she cried.

"Shh, shhh, Katniss that's not gonna happen ok. Prim's gonna go in there with you, and me and Haymitch will stand guard out here, ok?" Peeta told her.

"It's ok Katniss," Prim told her. He had Katniss in the doorway, but she turned around and grabbed his shirt collar.

"Please. Stay with me," she cried. It was heartbreaking to see her this way, begging him to stay with her. He wondered if this is how he looked when he was hijacked, and she asked him to stay with her. It was still her saying it, but it was still heartbreaking to hear the difference of why she was asking.

"Always Katniss. I will," he told her. He looked at Haymitch, but he shook his head. Haymitch was right. Katniss wouldn't want him to see her naked like this. He turned back to Katniss.

"Prim's going to be in the bathroom with you ok. I'm gonna be right outside this door. I'm not leaving you. I promise," he said and kissed her. Katniss let Peeta and Prim lead her into the bathroom. He helped her sit down on the toilet and he went back into his room and grabbed clothes for her to change into. He bent down in front of her again as she shook uncontrollably.

"Prim is just gonna give you a bath, ok? Me and Haymitch will stay right out there. I promise I won't leave you," he said and kissed her hand. She nodded her head and he stood up and kissed the top of her head and shut the bathroom door behind him.

He sat next to Haymitch on his bed, just staring at the door. "She's a mess," Peeta said.

"Gale told me she wasn't hunting anymore. She was just sitting there again. With Rory to. Gale just finally relented and let me give him some money to buy some groceries. There was no way that Rory was taking her hunting. And he wasn't going to leave her falling asleep in the woods again. He didn't want his pride to punish his family anymore," Haymitch said. Peeta nodded his head.

That actually gave him some relief to know that. Gale wouldn't take money from anyone. Katniss wanted nothing more than to help Gale's family. Had the roles been reversed, he would have helped her. He figured that it was because of Peeta that he wouldn't take any help.

They waited outside the bathroom for a while. Peeta wasn't watching the time. They could hear Prim and Katniss talking, but couldn't hear what they were saying. The door opened and Peeta jumped up to hug Katniss. He pulled back and ran his fingers through her damp hair.

"You look better. Do you feel better?" Peeta asked her. Katniss just put her head down.

"I think Katniss just needs some sleep again," Prim said and rubbed her back. Katniss shook her head.

"I don't want him to start talking to me again. God he always comes back," she cried softly.

"No, he's not talking to you anymore. I'm here. And he's too scared to talk to you while I'm around. I got you. You can stay with me tonight," Peeta told her as he hugged her.

"Mom's gonna be home any minute now to start making dinner. I'll bring you all something," Prim said and looked at Peeta and Haymitch. Haymitch leaned forward and kissed the top of Prim's head.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Haymitch told her. She smiled and went back to her house.

"You have dough and flour in your hair," Haymitch said, trying to pull a piece of dough out, but yanking on Peeta's hair instead. Peeta shoved his hand away. "You should take a shower. I'll stay out here with her," Haymitch said. But Katniss shook her head and grabbed onto him.

"Please don't leave me," she whispered. Peeta looked over at Haymitch.

"Tell you what sweetheart. Let him take a quick shower, and you and me will wait right here for him. The door will stay open and everything. We won't go anywhere," Haymitch told her. She nodded her head and Peeta grabbed clothes for him to wear and kissed her forehead.

"I'll just be right here," Peeta said, making her nod. Haymitch hugged Katniss, turning her away from the shower and discreetly turned his own head. Allowing Peeta to hop into the shower to take a three-minute shower, hop out and get dressed again.

"See. I'm right here," Peeta said as he kissed her cheek. "Come on Katniss. Let's get you into bed," Peeta said and led her over to his bed to help her lay down. He pulled the covers over her and crawled under the blankets with her. He sat up against the headboard and let her lay her head on his chest.

"Just try and close your eyes," he told her as he ran his fingers through her hair. She was quiet for a few minutes, and Peeta thought she may have fallen asleep. But Haymitch shook his head. "Katniss please. You need to sleep," Peeta told her.

"I can't shut my eyes. I don't want to. I can't handle nightmares anymore. They're all I see. Every time I close my eyes," she cried softly.

Prim came up a little while later with dinner for them. "Why don't we let them be. I'll come check on your both tomorrow," Haymitch said as he and Prim left. Peeta got Katniss to eat a little. Only a few bites, but it was better than nothing.

She looked terrible. She was utterly pale. Dark circles under her eyes. She was starting to turn to skin and bones. He rubbed his hand up and down her back.

"Katniss, I hate seeing you like this. Please just close your eyes and try and sleep," he said. She shook her head.

"Please don't make me," she cried softly. He kissed the top of her head.

"I won't. But it's what you need. Please. Please just try and sleep. I'm right here. I won't leave you. Please just try and sleep for me," he pleaded with her. He could feel her tears soaking his shirt. He kissed her head again.

"I know you're scared. But I'm right here. Please, just close your eyes. You need to sleep," he told her. They stayed silent for a while. He finally looked down and moved around enough to see that she was asleep. He leaned his head back against the wall. Finally!

Haymitch came back later that night and sat down on the chair.

"How long has she been sleeping?" Haymitch asked.

"Three hours. She hasn't even budged. Can you stay with her a minute? I have to use the bathroom," Peeta said. He and Haymitch moved her slowly, so they didn't wake her up. Haymitch sat in his place for a few minutes and waited for Peeta to come back. They moved her again until Peeta got comfortable.

"She must be exhausted. She should have woken up from all that," Haymitch said.

"What are we gonna do? She can't keep going on like this," Peeta said. Haymitch scrubbed his face. "She needs those sleeping pills," Peeta told him.

"I know she does. Do you have any idea how hard it is to send those? It was hard enough getting them in the Capitol. It's not easy for Victor's to get those. Snow doesn't want the nightmares to end," Haymitch told him. Peeta just shook her head.

"We just have to make it to the Victory Tour. Once we're there, she can be with you every night on the train. She'll sleep then. And we'll try and get some more of those sleeping pills. But it won't be easy. Those aren't easy to come by. The Capitol keeps those under lock and key," Haymitch said. Peeta nodded.

"Thank you," Peeta said.

"I'll come by tomorrow morning," Haymitch said and left. Peeta laid there, with Katniss never moving for a few hours before he fell asleep himself.

He was startled out of sleep by her moaning. She was having a nightmare.

"Peeta no," she cried softly. He sat up and started shaking her.

"Katniss wake up," he whispered. He shook her harder and after a minute she woke up. Sobbing and frantic. "Hey, hey, hey I'm right here. I'm right here Katniss. You're safe," Peeta soothed her. She looked around.

"Where am I?" she asked.

"You're in my room. You're with me," he told her, cupping her chin. She closed her eyes and panted.

"I feel like I'm losing my sanity more and more each day," she whispered.

"No, you're not. You're holding onto it for dear life. Keep doing just that," he told her.

"I need this to be over. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep living like this," she cried. He hugged her and she cried on his shoulder.

"I'm not the same person anymore. I don't know who I am. I need the nightmares to stop,"

"I know. I'm sorry," he whispered to her.

She cried a few times in her sleep that night. She was always crying for him. Begging him to come back. Begging him not to die. Begging him to not kill her. Believe her. Love her. It broke his heart to hear her cry in her sleep so much. But at least she was finally getting some sleep.

She slept until the early afternoon. He had gotten up a few times to use the bathroom. A couple times to get something to eat and bring it back upstairs with him. He was writing in his notebook while Katniss' head was in his lap when he felt her start to stir.

"Hey sleepy head," he whispered and brushed her hair back from her face. It took her a few minutes to get adjusted, but then she sat up and looked around. Her face was puffy from crying. And eerily dull from not sleeping.

"What am I doing here?" she asked. He put his notebook on his nightstand.

"You don't remember?" he asked her. She shook her head. "You ran in here last night. You haven't slept in a while," he told her. She then started yawning and then shook her head. She was really out of it.

"Are you ok?" he asked. She shook her head.

"How much longer now?" she asked.

"About two and a half months. It's gone by really slow. I know," he said sadly. She took a deep breath and nodded her head. "You heard him again," Peeta said. Katniss scrubbed her face and nodded.

"I feel like I'm just stuck here. Just sitting here, waiting for him to show up. I was just thinking that I can't wait to be on the train so I can be with you again…but then I realized, he's gonna be in my house. How am I supposed to face him?" she asked. He scooted over and hugged her.

"I wish I could be there. And I'm sorry that I can't. But please just don't think about that right now. When the time comes, we'll deal with it. And you'll be ok. We'll get you through it. You were only with him for about five minutes. You can do five minutes. But right now, I don't want you to worry about it," he told her.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep this up Peeta. I'm so tired," she admitted softly. She sounded so broken. So beat up.

"Please don't give up Katniss. You didn't think you could go through the Games again, and you did. We just gotta make it to the Victory Tour ok. We're in the home stretch. You can do this," he told her. But she wasn't convinced. She was tired. He knew that.

They sat there for a little while and he had an idea. "I have something to show you," Peeta said as he made her sit up. He grabbed his notebook and stood up, holding his hand out.

"Come downstairs with me," he told her. She grabbed his hand and she let him lead her down the stairs and into his living room. Katniss stopped when she saw a piano.

"When did you get that?" she asked. Peeta smiled.

"A couple of weeks after we got here. Effie sent me all these books to learn how to play. I'm not all that good at it though," Peeta chuckled.

"I doubt that. You have to use your hands. And everything you do with your hands is beautiful," she whispered. He looked over at her and smiled. It was one of the most touching things that she had ever said to him.

"Thank you," he whispered and leaned in and kissed her on the lips. She smiled softly at him. He pulled back and opened his notebook and placed in on the piano.

"Last time we were here…Portia and I used to talk on the phone a lot. And she told me how I should write my thoughts down. Sometimes it's easier to uncloud some of the nonsense in your head," he told her.

"Does it work?" she asked. He chuckled.

"A little. But I had written a couple of things. After the first Games. During the Victory Tour and after. I even wrote something when I was in District 13 with you, and back in the Capitol," Peeta said, and looked away to clear his throat.

"Well, I had read it so many times, that I was actually able to write them down again from memory. But I wrote something else. After we went to the lake. And I thought, maybe I could put some music to it,"

"You wrote a song?" she asked. He smiled at her.

"I wasn't planning it. But I messed around with it a little. And it became one. I just started playing with a tune in my head, and it just skyrocketed," he told her. She looked at him in amazement. "Wanna hear it?" he asked. She nodded her head, and he led her to sit on the bench with him. He cracked his knuckles.

"I've only played this a few times, so it's still a rusty work in progress. And I'm not a singer," Peeta said.

"I'm sure it will sound beautiful," she told him. He looked down at the piano and let out a deep breath.

It's like a quarter to three
And I just can't sleep
'Cause I'm thinking of you

And all those times we cried
Did we really try?
Now I'm dreaming in blue

No matter where we say goodbye
I tell you, baby
Keep your head high

I'll wait for love
I'll wait for you
I'll wait for love
I'll wait, will you?

When times are hard
I think of you
I'll wait for love
I'll wait for love

Katniss watched him, in awe. He wrote her a song? Never in her life…had she felt this loved. She knew he loved her but…this was totally different. It was eye opening. She never fully ever believed that someone was capable of loving someone this much. How could someone love her that much?

And looking in my eyes
We're both telling lies
Asking too much of you

And when you kiss my lips
That is what I miss
Not knowing we be through

No matter when we say goodbye
I tell you, darling
I won't cry

I'll wait for love
I'll wait for you
I'll wait for love
I'll wait, will you?

When times are hard
I think of you
I'll wait for love
I'll wait for love

Your eyes still gaze at me
Through pictures
You could just be the one
That gotta wait

I look down at the phone
It's your number
Too many times a day

I'll wait for love
I'll wait for you
I'll wait for love
I'll wait, will you?

When times are hard
I think of you
I'll wait for love
I'll wait for love

Peeta hadn't been able to look up at her once. Not that he didn't want to, but he just wasn't good enough to look up from the paper. But once he did, he was shocked by what he saw.

Katniss looked like she was in awe. Tears were streaming down her face.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" he whispered. She threw herself into his arms.

"No one in this world has ever done anything like that for me," she cried into his neck. She pulled back and held his face in her hands. "It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard in my life Peeta," she cried and kissed him. She hugged him and cried into his neck again.

"Thank you," she whispered. He smiled. He wanted to give her the world. He wanted to take her pain away. He thought of anything he could do. He just wanted her to feel loved.

He loved her reaction though. It made him happy. He remembered giving her the pearl on the beach in the Quarter Quell. He saw her face that she loved the pearl. It made him feel good, giving her something that she cherished. He wanted to do that every day for the rest of his life.

She pulled back a few minutes later and wiped her face.

"I wanted you to know…that no one has ever loved someone…as much as I love you," he told her. He chuckled as he wiped more tears from her cheek. She gulped and opened her mouth, but he put his finger to her lips.

"Don't say it right now. I don't want it to be a sad moment when you say it to me. I don't want you to have to go home, and I can't hear you say it when it's supposed to be a secret. The first time I hear you say it…I want you to be happy. I want you to be smiling and laughing. And that's when I wanna hear it. Can you do that for me?" he asked. She nodded her head and he smiled.

"Will you play it again?" she asked. He chuckled and nodded his head. They sat together for over an hour. Once he was done, she'd say 'again', and he would play it again for her. He was getting better at it the more he played it. And she kept her head on his shoulder the entire time.

"It's beautiful," she whispered. He chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

"I think you're more beautiful," he told her. She sat up and she smiled at him. Her head was clear. He could see it. "Welcome back sweetheart," he told her. She hugged him.

"How do you always manage to do that for me? Give me something that I needed. And always knowing exactly what I need, even when I don't know myself?" she asked.

"I don't know. I'm starting to run out of ideas you know," he joked softly. She pulled back and chuckled. He pushed her hair off her forehead. "I'll write it down in the notebook out back. And you can go read it when you need a reminder that I'll wait for you. I'll wait for us. And you can read it when you go into that dark place," she bit her lip.

"I hate it there…but I can't stay out of it. I don't know how to get out of it," she admitted.

"I know. It eats away at me knowing that you go there…but I'll always be here to pull you out of it. I promise," he told her. He kissed her temple.

"How long do you think I get to stay with you this time?" Katniss asked. He let out a deep breath.

"I don't know. But I'll talk to Haymitch. We can just enjoy it right now," he told her and kissed her cheek.

"I have another one that I'm working on right now. I wanted you to hear that one first, but I haven't finished playing around with the melody," she smiled at him. He stood up. "Let me make you some breakfa-well lunch now," he chuckled and took her hand and pulled her up and walked into the kitchen.

Katniss sat at the table while he started making them something to eat. When he sat back down a thought had come to him.

"Hey. I have an idea," Peeta said. Katniss looked up at him. "My birthday's next week. My dad is making dinner for all of us. I want you to come," he said. Katniss was frozen. "What?"

"Your mother hates me," Katniss said. Peeta rolled his eyes and bit into his sandwich.

"I don't care. She has really bad judgement when it comes to human beings. But my dad and brothers like you. And it's my birthday dinner. And I want you there," Peeta told her.

"I don't know," she sighed. He picked her hand up.

"I want to spend my birthday with you this time. I didn't even come out the house on my birthday that year. But my dad really wanted to celebrate it this year. Please come with me," Peeta said. She eyed him skeptically.

"Your mother probably won't even let me upstairs. Me and Gale only went to your house when she wasn't there. She hates everyone from the Seam,"

"You don't live in the Seam anymore," he reminded her.

"Not in her eyes. I'll always be that Seam girl who dug through her trash looking for food or coming to the backdoor to pressure your dad into giving us charity," she said. He turned sideways and pulled on Katniss' hand.

"Come here," he said and pulled her up. He made her sit on his lap, making her blush.

"I love you Katniss Everdeen. I've never once looked at you any different, just because you lived in the Seam. I never looked at anyone like that. It doesn't matter where someone lives or how much money they make. It matters about what kind of person they are. And if my mother is to narrow minded and cruel to see that, then I can't help her. But I want to spend every birthday for the rest of my life with you," Peeta told her.

He watched her face as she sucked in her lips. After a minute she nodded her head.

"Ok," she whispered. He smiled and kissed her.

"Thank you," he whispered. They ate their lunch, and then went into the living room. They curled up on the couch. Peeta laying on his back, and Katniss laying on her side and partly on Peeta. Her left leg thrown over his legs to tangle in the middle of them. She laid her head on his chest. His right arm across his stomach holding her arm, and his left arm cradling her head and playing with her hair.

They laid there for a while, idly talking about random things. How it was getting chillier. How the garden isn't going to be around much longer because of Winter. How much food they've been able to give the families around the Seam when they come to see her mom. The chickens and all their crazy antics.

"After Ryee built the fence for Lady, Prim started letting them run around. All the chickens love Haymitch. They follow him everywhere. He was so angry one day when he stepped down onto the back porch in bare feet into piles of chicken poop," Katniss said, making them both chuckle.

"He had that coming. He throws anything he can at my front door all the time. Letting me know he wants cinnamon buns. I think he's running out of things in his house. He stole a couple of things from my own house. I couldn't find a pair of my shoes for three days," he chuckled.

They talked about how every morning he'd drop off bread to Katniss' house for her mom to give out. How it's been at the Bakery. Hunting. How Katniss walked to the cabin every day and brings more and more things to keep in there for when Bonnie and Twill arrive and need shelter.

At one point Katniss looks up at him. They stare at each other for a moment, before leaning into kiss each other. They turned into each other, so they were both on their sides, and Peeta hoisted Katniss' leg that was between his legs, over his right hip.

He slipped his tongue into her mouth, dancing with hers. It started out soft. Getting to know each other's lips as he pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. The hand that was on the back of her neck felt the goosebumps that were starting to cover body.

Their kisses were soft at first, but then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. She held tightly onto Peeta. He was the only thing in the world that she could concentrate on right now. She wanted him. She needed him.

Their teeth clashing. Their hands were everywhere, clawing at each other. She melted into Peeta as his tongue continued to sweep her mouth. She moaned into his mouth and held onto him tighter. She felt that hunger again. And it was worse than ever. It was something that went through her mind constantly now that Peeta had told her that he wanted to make love to her. She needed to be with him.

He left her mouth just to breathe, he bit at her neck, scraping his teeth against her ear.

"Peeta," she half panted, half moaned. This girl made him lay down everything, just to be with her. He wanted her so badly. Kissing would never be enough for him. He wanted more.

But before anything else could happen, his front door was thrown open. Peeta turned so fast that he slipped off the couch, taking Katniss with him. Haymitch stood there and tilted his head to look at them.

"Well. For once I'm walking in on two teenagers. Huh," Haymitch chuckled. He went over and sat on the chair next to the couch. "I don't know how to handle this one. We've never been here before," Haymitch said. He was thoroughly entertained.

They both glared at him as Katniss pulled herself off of him and they both got back onto the couch to sit down. Peeta looked at her face. It was all flushed and her lips were swollen.

"I didn't know we were at this point already. I guess I need to sit down with you both and have the safe sex talk," Haymitch said.

"Shut up Haymitch," both Peeta and Katniss said at the same time. Haymitch laughed. It was one of the rare times that he did laugh. It was just unfortunate that it was at their expense.

"Should we start with the basics? The birds and the bees? When a man loves a woman. Instructions on sexual positions?" Haymitch was having too much fun. Katniss picked up a pillow and threw it at his head. After a minute he stopped laughing as much as he could.

"I was gonna come over and check on Katniss. But I can see that you're much better now," Haymitch said, smirking. She blushed and looked the other way. They sat there for a few minutes in silence.

"I have to leave, don't I?" she asked. Peeta looked over at Haymitch. Haymitch let out a long sigh.

"Haymitch she just got here," Peeta pleaded.

"We keep running a risk letting you two see each other. I know she needed you. But you never know what could happen. As far as the Rebels are concerned, we aren't guaranteed that Snow won't find out we've taken over their security. We weren't promised that" Haymitch said as Peeta, and Katniss looked at each other.

"We know a little differently. But that still doesn't mean that something can't go wrong. We weren't promised smooth sailing. We can't just do whatever we want. We all still have a role to play sweetheart," Haymitch said sadly. She couldn't look at either of them.

"Next week is my birthday. And Katniss is coming to my house for dinner," Peeta told Haymitch. Katniss looked over at Peeta, surprised by his forcefulness. She knew Haymitch was going to argue with him.

"Ok," Haymitch said. Her mouth fell open in shock. "Don't look at me like that. I have a heart you know. And if I can give you any birthday present, then I'll do that for you," he told Peeta. Peeta smiled at him.

"Thank you Haymitch," Peeta said. Haymitch nodded his head and stood up.

"I'll let you say goodbye. And I'll work something out for your for birthday," Haymitch said as he turned and left Peeta's house. Peeta stood up and took her hand and walked her to the door again.

"I know this is hard. But we're going to make it through this. The next step is the Victory Tour. We're almost there, ok?" Peeta said. Katniss nodded and her kissed her softly. When he pulled back, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

"I know," he whispered and kissed her ear. When she pulled back, he cupped her face in his hands.

"We're almost there Katniss," he told her. She nodded and put her forehead against his.

"Will you write that song in the notebook?" she asked. He smiled.

"I'll do it right now," he promised. She nodded and pulled back. He opened his front door and gave her one last kiss. She turned and sadly watched her as she walked back to her house.

Katniss got up to her porch and stopped. She walked past her house and went to Haymitch, who was sitting on his front porch.

"Can you do something for me? It's for Peeta's birthday," she told him.