Authors Note: Nothing to say here. XD

"I want to believe that my hopes aren't for nothing. I want to believe that there really is more to life than darkness. Just like even if I'm pelted with rain I know the sun will come up again. No matter how much I'm knocked down by pain, kindness has continued to fall down upon me."

Fruits Basket Volume Ten

Oh Silent Prayer of My Thoughts:

By: The BatThing

Chapter Eighteen:

Tim Drake didn't think much of the new house; in fact it made him uncomfortable. It was a two story house with four bedrooms. Guilt came over the boy – Gordon considered him and Annika members of his family. That was not good. What would happen when the day came that Robin would have to say goodbye?

You don't have to worry about that for a long time still. The little voice in Tim's head sounded off without warning. Bruce won't be remembering anything … especially not at the rate he's going. Who knows, you might have years ahead of you, years of living this life.

Robin lowered his head at that thought. He didn't want to have to pull this off for years and years … he just wanted Bruce to remember so things could go back to normal. So Gordon could really move on with his life - so people wouldn't become so attached to him … and so that he wouldn't become so attached to people.

"Do you like your room, Quinn? Isn't it big? I've never lived in a house this big before!" She ran into the room and Tim followed her slowly, looking around his new bedroom. It was large … he guessed. Compared to his room back home it couldn't compare. He smiled at the girl bouncing on his bed.

"Yeah, it's a pretty nice set-up here."

"And did you see the park that we passed?"

"You pointed it out to me more than once."

The girl smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "This is a great place, I really like it here. I do." Her smiled faded a little and she began to look more and more grim. Slowly but surly her eyes started to whelm up with unexpected tears. "I miss my mommy and daddy."

Tim was slightly taken back, he made a face of surprise – but quickly countered it. He could understand what she was feeling, and Gordon could understand too. They all were hurting … the only difference was that Annika was the only one who was allowed to cry. She was young, she had that right. Tim did his best to smile as he sat down next to her. "I miss my family too, but that doesn't make it any better."

She didn't look any more at ease with his words or with his smile. She sniffled and wiped her nose with her sleeve. "What does make it better?"

"Well … not a lot. Time, I guess." The boy sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, thinking of Dick. Until you reach the light. "I know things are tough, but ... things get better. And you're not alone; always know that you have people around you who will listen, who care about you."

"Nobody cares about me." She closed her eyes. "Nobody loves me."

"That's not true."

A glare came with a fierce turn. "Yes it is! You don't even know me. Y-you can't love me like they did."

Robin was quiet as she got to her feet and started for the door. Her words stayed with him as he sat in wonder. It was true, what she said. He couldn't care for the girl in the same way her parents had … just like Gordon, Bullock, Montoya … even Bruce … they couldn't love him. They didn't know him. None of them knew Tim. They knew pieces, different parts, but the only person in the world who knew Tim for Tim was … Tim. He hung his head in this thought. The realization that he was totally unloved fell upon him.

How strange it is, this world is filled with so many people. Robin reached for the pillow lying on his bed and hugged it to his chest. How strange that there is no one out there who knows me.

"Annika! Quinn! You guys want to go see the park?" Jim's voice carried throughout the house, but it seemed as if it went by unheard. "Guys?"

"No." Annika yelled, obviously crying. She tried her best to be strong, to sound like she was alright.

"Annika?" Gordon made his way over to her room and Tim could hear him knocking on her door. "Are you alright? Can I come in? … Why is your door locked?"

Alone. Tim stared into the space between him and the ends of the earth and couldn't see. Annika's words were so true, and Annika was where he was. Alone.

"How about letting me in, Annika. What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Jim made his way to Tim's room only to find the boy staring into space, looking rather lost. The commissioner was silent for a moment then sighed, shaking his head. "I don't suppose you know what's wrong with Annika?"

Robin lifted his head, forcing a smile and acting like there wasn't anything in the world that could bother him. Boy Wonder, Batman's successor, man – he had everything under control! "She's sad about the move, I think she's just homesick – and who can blame her?" The boy got to his feet and walked into the hall, going to the girl's door.

Jim was behind him, staring. "Are you alright?"

Tim did his best to look confused and somewhat surprised by the question. "I'm fine, let me talk to Annika real fast." The boy stepped towards the door and gave it a knock. "Hey, Annika – I want to talk about what you said. You said that Jim and me … that we can't love you like your family did. I just wanted to say that – you're right. We can't, and I don't think we ever will. It's just that … there are different types of love, right? Just like your mom didn't love you the same as she loved your dad. It's all just … types of caring. Jim and I care about you, we do. I know we are practically strangers, but that doesn't stop us from caring. You care about us right?"

There was a pause, an uncertain pause. "…Yes."

"Well then, how can you say that we can't care about you? It's not true. It's just not true." Tim stared into the wood before him, trying his best to smile, trying his best to think of others. But he, just like everyone else, was born selfish – and it wasn't something easily stopped. He wanted more than anything to have the attitude of screw you and just leave things be. He didn't want to help, he didn't want to care.

The door opened, slowly, and Tim stepped back as Annika looked up at him. "Why are you so sad, Quinn?" She blinked away at the tears. "Why are you always sad?"

It was a surprising question, Tim looked at her. "I'm not sad."

She looked at Jim, and then back at Robin. "You talk and you eat, you smile and say that you're glad – but you always seem … sad. I can smile and talk to you, and I can mean it – but when I see that you're just talking it reminds me."

"Reminds you?"

"You said that things will get better – you even showed me you could smile. Remember? At the hospital, you smiled?"

"Yeah."

"I don't want to be sad like you!" She closed her eyes. "Can't you even smile?"

Jim stepped forward. "Annika – I think you're tired, the move has been hard on you." His voice was calm, and it was strange that he had stepped in like he had. What the girl had said was true! Jim knew it, Annika knew it … everyone knew it.

They've seen through me all along. This whole time, they've just played along with it. Tim was staring at the floor, trying his best to compose himself.

"How about I get us some dinner. You guys hungry?"

Annika shook her head, tears starting up again. "I just want to go back home. I want things to go back the way they were!"

"THEY CAN'T!" Tim felt anger rising inside of himself. He couldn't help it, he was so mad. Dick's words – wishing things to go back to the way they were. It was just a stupid child's wish. "Get over the past – get over the way things were. They're the way they are … stop … stop … stop pretending. Stop wishing!"

"...Quinn..." Jim reached out.

"Don't touch me! I …I …I'm sorry. Annika, I didn't mean." Tim felt himself blushing as he realized what had just happened. He hadn't meant to loose control like that, but it had happened – and Annika looked shocked and scared. Jim simply looked worried, a mixture of concern and wonder. Robin turned and walked away, quickly getting outside, needing some fresh air. What did I just do? What did I just say?

"Robin?" Jim stood behind the boy. "Are you alright?"

Tim nodded his head. "I'm fine. I'm just … fine."

Gordon slowly took a seat by the teenager and sighed, looking out into the city with a saddened expression. "You know, what you told Annika is true – about people who care about her. I hope you aren't just talking and not believing what you say. The things you tell her, they're true."

"Maybe." Tim closed his eyes and clutched his hands together. "Maybe so. It's just that … you can't care about someone you don't know. Annika is real, you're real … I'm … I'm not me. And sometimes I wish I could be, I want to be myself so bad. I want to be me."

"You are you."

"No, I'm not. Sometimes, maybe, but never completely – never really." Tim opened his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. "It is part of me, this is. I just keep trying to remember how I use to be, before it happened – how I should be, and I can't remember. It could be that I'll be stuck as Robin forever, or stuck as … I just wish I could be myself."

"I find it hard to believe that you're not you. I can't believe that you're just really great at acting." Jim couldn't stop the doubtful look. It just came with his words. He meant what he said, the boy was being impossible.

Robin looked up at the grey sky, wondering when the next rain would come, and knowing it would be soon. "Do you think Batman was really like that all the time? You didn't realize Batgirl was your own … daughter. They all acted."

"Not all the time, but there had to be moments in the mask. Moments when nobody was around other than the people they trusted … Barbara was herself around you I'm sure." Gordon looked slightly hurt talking, but that didn't stop him.

"Yeah, you're right. But … but when I'm alone I find that trying to be who I really am, is rather … hard. I think I've become someone else, someone I didn't expect to be. I use to be so different. I'm not this person." He looked at his hands. "I'm not so grim, I'm not depressed, I laugh a lot – I smile a lot. I'm not always … hurting."

Jim was silent.

"Quinn?"

Tim turned to find Annika at the doorway, tear stained cheeks and all. She threw herself at him, arms going around his neck. The boy felt her hugging him with so much strength. "Don't be sad."

Robin let the girl hug him, but nothing else was said or done. He sat rock solid – not able to pretend anymore. At least … not right now. He was somewhere in-between the real and the fake, and totally lost.

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"Hey, Tim." Bruce smiled at the teenager as the boy entered into the house, closing the door and dropping his backpack to the floor. Tim watched him carefully as he pulled off his sweat jacket and flipped off his shoes. The man seemed … well, happy. Tim wasn't sure as to the reason, but he supposed it didn't really matter.

"What's up?" It was a general question, and Tim really wondered. He lifted his backpack back up and walked towards the man on the couch. "Did'ja win the lottery or something?"

"The lottery? No. I actually wanted to talk to you." The man's expression slowly changed and he motioned towards the couch. "Have a seat."

Uh-oh, this can't be good. Tim took a seat and looked at his guardian with a cautious front. "Am I in trouble?"

Bruce was quiet for a moment, and then smiled. "No, no not this time. I actually was hoping to apologize to you for how I've been these last few weeks. I haven't been very trusting, and I know that you've probably found that rather … annoying. Your friend, Ron? Well, he called today and we talked."

"Oh?" Tim's mind raced. Ron called? He hadn't seen his friends from high school in such a long time. Why in the world did Ron call? It was so out of the blue. Tim bit his lip, wondering if his friend had covered him or not.

"I asked him a few questions, pried. He basically told me that you had been spending a lot of time over at his house, and that you talked to him a lot. He said that you were trying to get over Dick's death, and that's why you were missing a lot. I even talked to his mother, and she said that it was all true. I just wanted to apologize for assuming the worst. I shouldn't have."

Shock covered Tim's face, and it couldn't be helped. Ron had made up that story and gotten his mother to agree with lying? That seemed impossible to believe. Ron was a good friend, had been a good friend – but not that good. "I-it's alright. I would understand why you would think what you did. Don't worry about it."

"I do though."

"Please, don't. I mean it." Tim felt awful, the lie was just getting worse and worse. He felt dirty for dragging his friend's family into it with him. How much worse could it get? Bruce was thinking one thing, which was good … but here his mentor was apologizing for doing the right thing. "I'm glad you worry. So don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't very honest."

"I shouldn't have gotten so upset with you though. And it's not ok, but I'm thankful you accepted my apology." Bruce smiled, placing a hand on Tim's shoulder. "And if you want to talk to me, don't be afraid. I know I don't remember anything, but I still can listen and try to understand."

"T-thanks."

The night passed quickly, Bruce's mood was so good that Tim couldn't help but warm up to him. The boy had offered that they not eat at the house, order pizza – something different. "No offense, I love Saul's cooking and all … but come on! Every night?"

Bruce made a face. "Ordering out though? It seems …"

"Normal?" Tim laughed. "Come on, can't we just go to McDonalds or something? Have you a memory of McDonalds even?"

"Should I?"

The boy laughed again, nodding. "Yeah, you took me a few times. It's the best food in the world. Their fries and milkshakes … the best."

Bruce smiled, chuckling a little. "Well, we'll have to be fast and careful, I don't want this to be in the paper."

"Who cares if it's in the paper? What will they say? You go out just like any other American? You can't be an American if you haven't eaten at McDonalds, I'm pretty sure that's a fact."

So they went, and they ate, they talked, and Tim found himself even laughing at the man. He would tell stories from the past and Bruce would be so shocked, or say something so random, it would cause the boy to break down laughing. It was like talking with an old friend about good memories, and the teenager enjoyed it.

They got back late, and Tim crawled into bed after a quick shower. He was almost asleep when his cell phone started to vibrate at his side. He sat up with a start and flipped it open to find it was Jim. This is weird, why in the world is he calling me so freakin' late? "Ti- wow, I mean hello." I almost said my name! I almost said Tim here. I can't believe I'm that stup-

"Robin? You need to get over here." Jim sounded worried.

"What's happening?"

"The house … it's gone. Annika's freaking out. We're trying to calm her down. She's hurt pretty bad, Robin. She keeps screaming, he almost got her, I was able to stop him – he tried … just come to the station, come to the hospital. Now." And the line went dead.

Tim dropped the phone and moved for the door.

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"JIM!"

Gordon turned at the sound of his name and saw Robin running towards him. The boy was clearly out of sorts. He was wearing flannel pajama pants and his usual black sweat jacket. Flip flops were all that covered his feet – and he was soaked through and through. A towel was around his shoulders, a nurse had given it to him. "You got here fast."

"What happened? That was the worst way to hang up! Where's Annika? Didja' see the guy who started the fire?"

"Slow down, kid. It was … it was probably right after we went to bed that he came. I woke up to Annika screaming and went into the hall – fire was everywhere. Not a lot, but it was so sporadic, like the man had just walked through and lit different areas. I found Annika in her room, on the floor, her neck was cut – scared me bad. Apparently she scared him off with her screaming, he knew I was on my way so he ran."

"She's ok!"

Gordon nodded. "It wasn't bad, but she's pretty shook up. She says that he just jerked her out of bed. She said she knew him, Robin. That's the thing."

Tim stuttered at that. His eyes went wide. "She knows who it is! Did she – did she tell you?"

"Montoya took a squad out to get him, hopefully they can manage. I promised Annika I wouldn't leave, so I can't help them."

"I should go and -."

"No. Robin, you're the one she trusts the most, probably. You should be with her, like you were before. She was asking for you when I found her. Crying for you, she's scared that he's going to come after you now. She said he's gotten all of us, so why not you." Gordon made a face. "And I'm slightly worried that she could be right."

"What?"

The commissioner shook his head. "It's just … he's after someone here, he has some sort of grudge. And then when I discovered who it was it started to tie together."

"Who is it!"

Gordon looked around and then blinked at Tim. "Your friend ... Justin Extine."

To be continued …

Trunksblue: LOL, inspiration achieved! It's so late, and I need to go to bed. I'll skip class – hail the college life! But I'm sleepy. Anyhow, you guessed it, girl! Justin is the bad dude in this. Though, things start to all come together – ha! They won't till the next chapter, that's where things are like: I never knew. Haha. Hmm, it's late. I'm not making much sense. Anyhow, thanks for the read and review, like usual. Talk to you SON, lolirl. This is a joke that will never get old. XD

Terra89: Justin is the correct answer. You totally guessed it. I thought I was being all cool and secretive. Sigh Apparently I wasn't sly enough in my writing, lol. That's probably alright though. Maybe the next time around I'll be more … sly? Glad you liked the chapter, hopefully you're ready for things to make a little more sense, 'cause that's what the next chappie is about. Let's hope I write it fast. I'm excited about it. Thanks for the review, you always make me laugh, lolirl.

JLAfan: Hey, hey, hey! Thanks for the review, it made me happy. I love reviews, they're number one! Glad you want more from the story, I hope that means you like it. I'm an assumer, so I'm going to assume that you do! HA! XD Thanks again!