Once they got back, they took Katniss to the infirmary. She was only passed out for a couple of hours before she woke up. Peeta was sitting on his chair, with his feet on the bed stretching out, and he sat up and pulled his chair closer when she woke up and pushed some hair back.
"Hey sweetheart. You're awake. How do you feel?" he asked her. She looked around.
"A little dizzy," she said. Peeta nodded.
"Well, you won't have to stay here long. They just wanted to wait till you woke up and checked you out," he reached over and pressed a button. "I'm sure you wanna get out of here," he chuckled. She nodded his head.
It scared him when she fainted, and there was nothing that he could do. He had to wait till Finnick carried her onto the hovercraft before he could touch her. He tried waking her up, but there was no way she was coming to just yet.
The doctors cleared her to leave, and then he brought her back to their compartment, and saw Johanna grabbing some clothes.
"Hey, you doing ok?" Johanna asked. Katniss nodded. "You don't have to lie. You can say no you know," Johanna told her. She was right. Katniss didn't have to say she was fine. She could be honest with her. Katniss could be honest with all of them.
"Pretty crappy," Katniss admitted. Johanna nodded and went over and hugged her.
"You were really strong out there. Just keep fighting," Johanna told her. Katniss nodded her head as Johanna pulled back. She grabbed the clothes again and stuffed them into her backpack.
"Going somewhere?" Peeta asked. Johanna wiggled her eyebrows.
"Oh yes I am. I'm sleeping over in Finnick's compartment. But I have a date with some hottie," Johanna said. They both chuckled. Peeta liked hearing Katniss laugh. It was music to his ears.
He was very thankful to Johanna, because she could get through to Katniss in a way that no one else could. It was odd to say, but it was from a dark, cynical place. They could commiserate together. They could complain together. They could be…for lack of a better word, bitchy, together. They could hate on the world together. They could be angry together. Neither of them would tell the other to stop, or that they were wrong for feeling like that. They wouldn't try to tell each other to look on the bright side and focus on the positive. No judgement.
"Who's the guy?" Peeta asked. Johanna laughed.
"Just some guy. I don't even know his name,"
"You didn't ask?" Peeta asked her. Johanna shook her head.
"Why bother. We're just gonna have sex. Although, I think he's kinda star struck. This should be fun," she said and grabbed her bag. "So, you two have fun tonight," Johanna called as she left. Peeta chuckled and shook his head.
"She's fun to have as a roommate," Peeta laughed. She smiled slightly and nodded her head. "What do you wanna do?" Peeta asked. She looked around and bit her lip. Peeta had come to realize that she would do that when she wanted something but was too embarrassed to ask for it. Katniss had a hard time asking for anything, let alone asking for help.
He walked forward and put his hands on her hips.
"Anything you need Katniss. I'm right here. Let me take care of you," Peeta told her. She let out a deep breath.
"I…I felt safe with you when…" she trailed off and looked down, biting her lip again. He would wait. "Will you give me a bath?" she whispered. He wrapped his arms around her and let her bury her face in his neck.
"You know I will sweetheart," he told her and then pulled back. Her face was still dirty. He told them in the hospital that he would clean her up later. He didn't want anyone else to.
He went into the bathroom and went about filling the tub up, and then went and grabbed clothes for her to change into. He put some bubbles in it, for the sole purpose of having her not so exposed to him. He still hadn't seen her breasts, and even though he touched her down there before, he hadn't seen her.
He excused himself to let her get into the tub, and then he came back and sat down on the side of the tub. She was looking straight ahead, hugging her knees to her chest. He grabbed a cup and started pouring water over her head.
"You did really good back there," Peeta said as he started lathering her hair with shampoo.
"I couldn't focus on what was happening. I kept thinking it was last time," Katniss said. That statement sent chills through his body. It scared him as she went back and forth between the past and the present. He watched as she closed her eyes and slightly leaned her head back into his hands.
"I really hope you start talking with Cenia. I could go with you. Or you could come with me and I'll talk to her about me. We could go see her tomorrow," Peeta says. He started rinsing out her hair.
"I know you hate talking. But it could really help. Haymitch was going to have her come to District 12. She's really good. Everyone's been talking with her," Peeta said. Katniss nodded her head. He went about washing her back and her legs when Katniss turned her head to look at him.
"I don't…I don't make it through the days," Katniss said. Peeta tilted his head. "I barely make it through anything…but the only reason I'm here is because of you," Katniss whispered shakily. A tear fell down her cheek.
"I only make it through because of how you take care of me," she whispered.
It was one of the most touching things that she had ever said to him. It made his heart stop. He had always waited for a moment like this when Katniss would say something like that.
"I would do anything for you," Peeta told her and leaned forward and kissed her.
"I'm a mess. I feel like I'm dead inside sometimes," she admitted softly. God. This is what was scaring him. Her depression was in full force.
"I feel like I'm suffocating sometimes," she choked on her words. "And you're the only one who makes me feel safe. Peeta…thank you," she whispered. He leaned forward and hugged her. He leaned back and kissed her, holding her face. A deep, long kiss. He pulled back when he needed to breathe and rested his forehead.
"God. You make me so happy. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you," Peeta whispered. He felt her shiver and pulled back. "Come on, let's get you out of this tub," he helped her out of the bath and get dressed. He took a quick shower himself and then went down to the cafeteria and got their dinner. By the time they were done, Katniss' eyes were drooping, and he brought her to bed. She instantly took her pants down and he did the same and took his shirt off. She curled up to him and he felt her kiss his chest. He loved this girl. He absolutely loved her.
"We gotta give her a couple of days. Yesterday was too hard on her," Peeta told Haymitch, Cinna and Boggs.
"I couldn't agree more," Haymitch said. Katniss was still asleep, and they were talking right outside their compartment door.
"Me too," Cinna agreed.
"I'm gonna let Coin know. She just needs to take a break," Boggs said. Haymitch looked at Cinna.
"She needs to go talk with your sister," Haymitch told him.
"I talked to her a little about it last night. She didn't respond to it. I don't know if she's gonna go," Peeta told them.
"Well, send your sister her way," Haymitch told Cinna. Before Cinna could respond, they heard Katniss let out blood curdling scream.
"PEETA!" Katniss screamed. Peeta burst through the door with the three men behind him. He knocked into her when he got closer to their bed.
"Katniss it's ok. I'm right here," Peeta told her as he grabbed onto her.
"You weren't here. The Capitol took you and hijacked you," She sobbed. He instantly pulled her towards his body and held her tightly.
"They did that last time. I'm right here though. I'm safe. I'm right here with you. I got you Katniss. I have you," Peeta said as she continued to sob. He looked over at the other three.
'One hour' Cinna mouthed to him. Peeta nodded, and the three men left. He pulled Katniss over to the couch and rocked her.
"Baby it's ok. I'm right here," he whispered soothingly. He had only been away from her a few times since he got to District 13. And each time…each time she became hysterical. He suddenly had a memory of when Katniss ran into him, and he fell, hitting his head on the table, and then meeting her father.
"Katniss is sick. We all know that. She can't sleep, and she's depressed. Haymitch was right about that Post Traumatic Stress. She has it and is told she can't get any help until it's all over. I'm not going to lie to you and say it's going to get better. These episodes aren't going to stop. She's still going to have these moments. She's going to get a lot worse before she gets better. And it's going to be very hard. Even when everything is all over, she's going to need you most, because that's when she's going to need to deal with every single thing, she's been through. And the only way she's ever going to make it through, is with you. Because you'll be standing by her the whole time,"
Ever since they came back, these episodes had gotten worse and worse. And it didn't feel like they were stopping any time soon.
He had calmed her down for a while when there was a knock on their door. Peeta went and answered it, and Cenia walked in. "Hi Katniss," Cenia said. Katniss stared at her, in shock. Peeta walked over and bent down in front of Katniss.
"I really want you to talk to her. When Haymitch said a long time ago that you had PTSD, he was right. And these episodes are taking over for you. I don't want you going through that. I know it's not gonna get magically fixed. And it won't happen today. But she can help you cope with everything," Peeta said. Katniss wiped away a tear that had fallen.
"Ok," she whispered. He smiled and kissed her.
"Do you want me to stay? Or I can leave you both alone. I'll stay in the hallway," Peeta said. She shook her head vigorously, squeezing his hands. "Ok. I'll stay," he said. He sat back on the couch and held her hand. Cenia sat down at the table.
"I know how doctors come across to you. You were talking with Dr. Aurelis. But I don't want you to think of me like that. I truly just want to help you. You've been through way too much for being a teenager. No human being should endure all the pain and suffering you've gone through," Cenia said. Katniss nodded her head.
"So, tell me about those chickens at your house. What's the real story?" Cenia asked. Katniss and Peeta stared at her.
"You want to talk about the chickens?" Katniss asked, completely shocked. Cenia laughed.
"Yeah, I do. Cinna said he didn't know the story. But I really want to hear it," she said. Peeta knew what she was doing. She wanted Katniss to view her as a friend. Like Cinna. She wanted to gain Katniss' trust before they talked about the deep stuff.
Katniss stared at her for a minute and then cleared her throat.
"Prim and Peeta decided to get the chickens, so they could help some of the families in the Seam. Peeta's brother Ryee built a fence around the yard. And Peeta's and Haymitch's yards. And then before everyone fled from 12, Prim had given them away for the families to eat," Katniss said.
"That was really great of you guys," she told them. Peeta smiled, while Katniss just nodded. "So were the stories true about letting the chickens run around Haymitch's house?" Cenia asked. Katniss snorted.
"No. We wouldn't do that," Katniss said and looked at Peeta. "We could always do it next time. It would serve him right," Katniss said. Peeta laughed.
"Oh, you want more chickens now? And I suppose you're gonna take care of them now?" Peeta asked. Katniss smiled softly and rolled her eyes.
"Did he and Prim really name them?" Cenia asked. Katniss rolled her eyes more dramatically.
"Yes. I told Prim not to name them. You can't name chickens that you plan on eating. She's too sensitive. She loves animals and can't bear to let them go," Katniss grumbled. Peeta chuckled slightly and she glared at him.
"You really did encourage her," Katniss told him. He nodded his head. He like the distraction Cenia was doing.
They sat there for almost an hour. Talking about all sorts of things. Nothing heavy. Nothing sad. Funny stories from the Victory Tour. A funny story about Finnick walking in the hallway in his underwear. Peeta chimed in only a few times. Only when Katniss looked to him. He wanted Katniss to talk. He wanted Katniss to get to know her. She told a few funny stories about her and Cinna. He almost caught the living room rug on fire. It was nice that she was so much like Cinna. It was so easy to like her, and he could tell after the first ten minutes, that Katniss liked her to.
"Well, I hate to cut this short. But I told Librae I would take a walk with him. Apparently, he was annoying Muscida last night. He kept going in and out of his Games and she hit him pretty hard in the head with her cane," Cenia said, making them laugh. But then Katniss stopped.
"You didn't ask me anything about my episodes. Or my nightmares. You didn't ask me about the Games, or the Capitol, the Rebellion. Or Snow," Katniss pointed out. Cenia smiled.
"Did you really wanna talk about any of that today?" she asked. Katniss shook her head. "Well then our first conversation went exactly as you wanted it to. We stayed away from all those topics, and we laughed at a few funny stories. So, when you want to talk about your episodes, and the Games, then you can tell me, "She said. Katniss looked at Peeta, and then back to Cenia. "Otherwise, we'll talk about ourselves," Katniss was speechless.
"I'll see you both later," she said and excused herself.
"I like her," Peeta said. Katniss nodded and gave her a soft smile.
"I do to," she whispered.
Later that day, one of Katniss' requests came true! They got to walk around outside. As soon as Katniss got outside, she stopped and raised her face to the sun, shutting her eyes. Just letting the sun hit her skin. It was a nice day out. A nice, cool breeze.
"Come on, let's go sit down," Peeta said. She didn't bring a bow. He offered to get her one from Beetee, but she didn't want it. That made him a little sad. But he just knew, she was so, so tired. They walked over to the stream and sat down on the hill. Katniss laid down and closed her eyes.
"Fresh air smells nice," Peeta said, laying down next to her.
"All I wanna do out here is sleep," she said. He leaned over and kissed her forehead. She opened her eyes, and he cupped her cheek.
"Then go to sleep until they call us back," Peeta told her. And she did. They got to stay out for almost two hours. He dozed here and there, but she fell into dream land. Fresh air does wonders for her. He had to admit, it felt amazing. He kept his eyes closed for two hours, but still. Breathing fresh air after being locked underground felt amazing. He wondered if some of them went their whole life without coming above ground. It was sad to think about.
When they called them back, the beeping woke Katniss. She stretched and yawned and sat up.
"We just got here," Katniss complained. Peeta laughed at her.
"We've been here for two hours," he told her. Her eyes widened. "Maybe next time you should stay awake," he joked. He stood up and then pulled her up. When they got back in, they were walking down a corridor, when they ran into Blight. Katniss instantly tensed up.
"Hey. I was wondering when I was gonna run into you. How are you doing?" he asked kindly. She stared at him suspiciously, and he chuckled.
"I know. I'm really sorry for all the over-the-top flirting. And the butt grabbing," Blight said. Katniss crossed her arms.
"And tricking me into sitting in your lap," she snapped. He laughed and wiped at his mouth.
"Yes. That to. I'm really sorry to both of you. That's not really who I am," Blight told them.
"We know. The Capitol makes everyone play a role. That was yours," Peeta told them. Blight nodded his head.
"Listen, I hope you'll give me a second chance. If you can forgive me, I'll promise that I'll bite my tongue before I tease you," Blight said. Katniss and Peeta chuckled, and she uncrossed her arms. She nodded her head.
"Alright. It's forgotten," Katniss said. Blight smiled. Then he looked at Peeta and held out his hand. Peeta took it.
"And I can promise you, that I will absolutely never grab her butt or any other body part ever again," Blight said. Peeta nodded his head.
"I'd appreciate that very much. Thanks for saying all that," Peeta told him. Blight nodded. He cleared his throat.
"I had to play that role. Snow was punishing me. I refused to sleep around. He knows I'm gay, but he didn't want anyone to know. So, that's why I had to be over the top," Blight admitted. Katniss and Peeta's mouths fell open. Peeta had never met anyone who was gay. It was something totally foreign to them. He just chuckled.
"I was one of the embarrassing ones. So, we really all had a role to play," Blight said. Before Katniss could stop herself, she leaped forward and threw her arms around Blight's neck and hugged him. Both Peeta and Blight were surprised by her actions, but then Peeta wasn't surprised. She knew what it was like to be tortured by Snow. What it was like to not be allowed to be herself. Katniss pulled back from him.
"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm not mad at you. Forget what happened," she said.
They walked into the cafeteria when the TV came on. It was Caesar Flickerman again.
"Oh God," Peeta said and grabbed her hand. There was his own face staring back at them. It was fake. It was all produced by the Capitol.
"Katniss we're getting out of here," Peeta said, trying to pull her. But she wasn't budging. Her hands were on her mouth, and she was crying.
"What have they done to you," she cried. Peeta got in front of her and grabbed her face.
"It isn't real Katniss. I'm right here. Look at me," Peeta told her. She started sobbing.
"You're shaking. They're hurting you. They're hurting you," she sobbed.
"No, they're not Katniss. I'm standing right in front of you. I'm in District 13 with you. I need you to focus on me," Peeta said.
"Katniss!" Prim called and ran over to them, with Madge and Rue with her. She looked at the TV. "Oh no," Prim said and turned back to Katniss.
"It's ok Katniss. That's not Peeta," Prim said. Katniss grabbed his collar and cried into his neck.
"It's ok. It's ok. I'm right here," he whispered.
"Should we go get someone?" Madge asked Peeta. But he shook his head.
"We can go get your dinners for you. We can bring them back to your compartment," Rue said, with Madge nodding in agreement.
"Thank you. Come on, let me take you back to our compartment," Peeta said as he turned her and started walking out of the cafeteria, with Prim on her other side, holding her hand. They were walking back when Haymitch, Finnick, Gale, and surprisingly, Peeta's brother Ryee, rounded the corner and stopped when they saw them.
"Too late," Gale said. They sped over to them.
"We didn't get enough warning that they were airing another video," Finnick said sympathetically.
"And you got called back in at the worst time," Haymitch groaned as he ran his hands down his face, pulling his skin.
"I tried catching you at the doors. But you were already inside," Ryee told them.
"How much did she see?" Haymitch asked.
"Just enough. Come on Katniss," Peeta said as he started walking with her again down the last hall and through their door. Prim helped Peeta get her changed and sat her in bed, while the girls brought their dinner trays. It took her a little while to get through her dinner. But once she was done, he sat in the bed against the wall, stretching his legs out, while Katniss laid on his chest.
"I'm ok Katniss. I'm right here. I'm not hurt. I'm safe," Peeta tried soothing her. But she wasn't talking. She was in her little world, reliving when she saw on him TV.
Truth be told, he was reliving it as well.
When the camera shut off, he shakily looked back at Snow, who was laughing. "Well, if that won't get Katniss Everdeen's attention, I don't know what will," Snow laughed and then looked at a couple of Peacekeepers.
"Take him back. Give him something to eat," Snow said. Peeta shook his head.
"Please no. I said everything you wanted me to. I did exactly what you wanted me to," Peeta cried as they dragged him back down to his cell. He hated when they 'gave him something to eat'. It was being forced fed rotten food…with something to make him vomit. And then once he vomited…
He jumped when he heard the door shut. Johanna walked in and looked at them.
"How's she doing?" Johanna asked as she sat down and started taking her boots off.
"She stopped talking. I'm hoping with some sleep she'll feel better tomorrow," Peeta said. Johanna stared at him.
"You're thinking about that night, aren't you?" Johanna asked. Peeta covered his eyes with his hand to force the tears back. "Try and stop. Try and think of something else. Otherwise, you're gonna have nightmares tonight. And I have a feeling she's gonna already have some," Johanna said as she started changing into something to wear for bed.
Johanna was right about Katniss having nightmares. She woke up screaming for Peeta. Had Peeta not been holding on to her from behind her, she would have fallen off the bed.
"Hey, hey, hey you're ok," Peeta said, jumping to a sitting position. Johanna got right up and sat on the bed facing Katniss and grabbed her hand.
"They have Peeta," Katniss cried. Peeta turned her face to look at him.
"No, they don't. I'm right here. We're in District 13 remember? I'm safe Katniss," Peeta said, holding her face in his hands.
"They were hurting you," she cried.
"I know. But they aren't anymore," Peeta told her. He took her hand and moved it through the collar of his shirt to lay her palm flat against his chest. "Feel that? It's my heart beating. I'm right here. They can't get me. They can't hurt me," Peeta told her. She cried and leaned into his chest. Johanna still held onto her hand and kept squeezing it until she fell back to sleep. Peeta and Johanna just sat there for a few minutes in silence.
"I'm scared this is still gonna get worse," Peeta admitted. Johanna let out a deep breath and nodded her head.
"Yeah. So is everyone else,"
They waited a couple of days before Coin demanded that they go back to District 12. Plutarch was being a total idiot, in Peeta's opinion. He wanted to make this propo better than last time. He wanted Katniss, Peeta and Gale's family to go, as well as Haymitch.
They were planning on doing different parts of the propo. No one knew Peeta was alive, so anything that he was in wouldn't be shown just yet. Depending on how everything turned out, Plutarch said he might use some stuff from Peeta's brothers and father right now.
They all sat in Command, minus Katniss, who was back at their compartment with Prim, Madge and Rue. It made him smile when he watched the four of them together.
He tuned back in when Plutarch mentions Prim and her mom. Everyone started getting antsy.
"Katniss isn't going to let either of them leave," Peeta said. Johanna laughed.
"That's a no brainer," Johanna said.
"Katniss, Prim and their mom can walk around the Seam, where their old house was," Plutarch said.
"She won't let them out of 13. Katniss won't go for that," Peeta told him again. Katniss was way too afraid to let Prim outside. What if she died, and this time couldn't save her. He felt protective over her. They had to protect Prim at any cost.
"No way is Prim leaving. We won't let her on that hovercraft," Gale told Plutarch.
"Yeah, I agree. No one wants Prim going anywhere," Haymitch said.
"I say we vote. All in favor of Prim staying," Beetee said. Everyone but Plutarch raised their hands.
"Well, I'm not accepting that just yet. Go and tell Katniss how important this is," Plutarch said. Peeta shook his head in disbelief.
He didn't bother saying anything to Katniss. Why upset her even more? Prim wasn't going! And to make matters worse, Gale refused to let his family go. And Peeta put his foot down as well. He didn't want his family going either. But both of his brothers wanted to. His father wasn't ready to face the rubble of the Bakery just yet.
They sat in the hovercraft, all buckled up, and Peeta was surprised to see that they asked Madge to come along.
"This is completely stupid. I don't wanna stand around and reminisce about District 12," Katniss grumbled.
"None of us do. But some people don't remember. We have to give them a reason to keep on fighting. It seems like the only people who remember, are the ones who have a role to play. So, we need to keep fighting for those who don't remember," Peeta said. Katniss let out a deep breath.
When they landed, they walked to the Justice Building.
"Well. I can't say that this makes me sad," Haymitch said as he walked himself over to where the stage was supposed to be, kicking some rocks with his feet.
"I'm tired of fucking standing here. Just because my name was pulled out of a God damned bowl," Haymitch said.
"How many times have you stood on this stage Haymitch?" Cressida asked. He snorted.
"Every year for 25 years. Multiple times a year. I lost count. No memory up here was good," Haymitch said, looking around. "People lost their kids on this stage. Their last memory of them, is them standing right here. Knowing they were gonna die," Haymitch said sadly. He sat on the block of cement that said Justice Building. Cressida waved Peeta and Katniss over.
They walked over and looked around. Peeta moved his head around and moved his feet, and then stood.
"I guess I would have been standing around here. I walked up on stage when my name was called. And it was the most terrifying feeling. Knowing you're going to die…having the feeling inside your body. You're being brought to a place where you will die. You will be dead…That's what I think of when I stand here," Peeta said.
"Katniss. Tell us what happened here," Cressida said. Katniss looked around.
"This place is meant to bring fear…you can feel it," Katniss said as she looked down at the rubble. "It's a graveyard covered in fear. I'm glad it's gone. I've never stood here and not been afraid," Katniss whispered. Cressida looked over at Gale.
"We were all standing right here," Gale said. Everyone watched him. "Watching the Games when you fired that arrow. The screens just went dark. No one had any idea what happened," Gale said. Gale was lost in the memory.
"The Peacekeepers forced us back into our homes. For maybe an hour the town was just dead quiet…Little passed 9:00 we heard their trucks pulling out. All of them. Every single Peacekeeper. And I knew what that meant," Gale said, starting to get choked up, getting lost in the memory. "They knew what they were doing. It was their plan all along to blast District 12 off the map,"
Katniss went over and squeezed his hand. Everyone had their nightmares. This was Gale's.
"Me and a couple of guys from the Mines, we started pulling people from their houses. Trying to get them to the fence line, but a lot of people were afraid of the forest. So, they headed up onto the road. Make a break for it that way," Gale said. Letting go off her hand to point in the direction. He put his head down. She turned her head when she heard Madge let out a sob in her throat.
Gale turned around and started walking away. Everyone followed him. He walked up a mountain of rubble and stood at the top, looking down into their home.
"915 of us made it to the fence. And we watched as the bombers circled back toward the road. And they firebombed them as they ran away," Gale said. He squatted and looked down. Peeta gasped at what he saw. Peeta, his brothers or Madge had never seen it. Peeta had completely avoided looking at it when he came home. But they all looked at District 12. At their home. And you couldn't help but cry.
"915 out of 10,000…I should have grabbed people. I should have dragged them with me. There was so many kids I could have carried," Gale said, getting choked up.
"But you saved so many people Gale," Cressida said. She sat down next to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "Without you there'd be no District 12. Not even the memory of it," Cressida told him.
"I had to get my family out. And I had to get Prim and her mom. I had to take care of them first. But I wanted to help so many more," Peeta stepped up near him.
"It won't look like this forever," Peeta said, staring out into their home. "We'll clear it out and rebuild. That'll show the Capitol. They don't own us. They don't own me," Peeta said.
"Cut it," Cressida said. Gale wiped at his eyes.
"What really happened?" Katniss asked. Gale stood up.
"Once you all left, we started getting people out left and right. 48 hours before they got there, the Peacekeepers were all brought out into the Square. It was a fake order that they were following. All of sudden their trackers went off, and they all collapsed to the ground. We went through every single Peacekeeper. Took off their helmets. If they were on our side, we brought them to your mother's house, and she took their tracker out a she sewed em up. The other ones, we'd shackle them up, and we'd take them down one by one into the tunnels. All of District 12 was gone by that morning," Gale told them.
They walked over to the mayor's house next.
"What did it look like that night?" Cressida asked. Madge looked at her house. They knew she had gotten out this time. She was nowhere near the house when it was bombed. But she was envisioning what happened last time.
"I didn't know what I was hearing. I didn't know it was bombs," Madge whispered. Tears streamed down her face as she stared at the once studious house.
"My dad ran and grabbed my mother. She could barely stand because she was suffering from migraines. But he ran and grabbed her and grabbed me. And all we saw was fire," Madge said and covered her face as she let out a sob. All she saw fire, and then she was gone. She burned alive in that house.
Gale was the closest to her and pulled her to his chest to hug her. The camera panned over to Katniss. She covered her mouth with her hands. Peeta rubbed her back. It made him sick to even think about. Because he thought of his own family. That's what happened to them. They heard the bombs, and then they saw nothing but fire.
He caught his brothers faces. They're faces held no emotion. His family were burned alive as well.
When they started walking away, he looked at Katniss. She was reliving walking through here. "Is this too much for you?" he asked her. She shrugged.
"I walked the road. There were dead bodies everywhere. Some just bones, others were dead because of the smoke, so their bodies were just rotting. These were our people, and they were dead. I could have known them. They could have been my neighbors. They could have been my classmates. They could have been anyone. I just didn't know. But it was our District." she cried. He knew it was worse for her, then walking over dead bodies in the Capitol, or in District 2 or 8. No. This was their District. These were their people.
"I went into town. There was nothing left of the bakery but a melted lump of the oven." she cried. He tried not to, but a tear escaped his eyes. His family's home was gone. It was devastating. He remembered the pictures he was shown. He had never seen it in person. Not even the day he came back to 12. Haymitch purposely led him around the town, so he wouldn't have to see it, and have a violent flashback. He would finally see it today.
He looked around to see if anyone was close enough to listen. But they weren't.
"I fell over what was left of Thread's gallows. I wanted to spit on him,"
"All my thoughts turned to you. I went into my house to take back some of our things. I opened the plant book and had to shut it so fast, because I saw something you drew. It was made by your paintbrush. I just couldn't bear it. I wanted to run away. To never become the Mockingjay. But I couldn't because I didn't know if you were dead. If you were alive, I had to keep fighting. But I could run if you were dead. Because I had nothing left to fight for." she said.
He couldn't even talk then. He was to choked up. To hear that someone loved him like this. It was emotional because their love wasn't feeling like it was one sided. She loved him. She admitted it. She hadn't flat out said to him, 'Peeta I love you.' But she admitted that she did love him. He waited so long to hear that. They walked in silence for a few minutes, and he felt her body stiffen. He knew whatever she was thinking about, that she didn't want to tell him. She was trying to think of what to say to avoid it. But he didn't want her to. He looked ahead again to see that everyone was getting further away from them and then he lifted her face to make sure she was looking at him.
"I want you to tell me everything Katniss. I don't want you to think that you need to hide something from me, because it will hurt me. I want to know everything. Because we can have a future together, and I never want any secrets between us. So, tell me." he said. She looked down.
"Even about Gale?" she whispered. So that's why her body stiffened.
"Even about Gale." he told her. She nodded her head, but she wouldn't look back up at him. He hated hearing anything about Gale. But he needed to hear it. And she needed to say it.
"I needed to feel him touch me. Like hold my hand or hug me or..." she trailed off.
"Or kiss you." he said. He saw another tear fall. He felt like breaking something.
"I was selfish and just needed to feel something. I was still so confused. I didn't understand that that crushing feeling in my chest was love for you. I didn't know I was in love with you. I fought it off for so long I just didn't know. But the Capitol had forced you on me, so I thought since they were wrong about everything else, they had to be wrong about you. I'm so sorry for thinking like that Peeta." she said as he pulled her closer to him. She buried her face in his neck again.
"Katniss it's alright. You already told me that. It's ok. I know how you feel." he told her.
"I always knew that I didn't love him. I just was too afraid to admit it. I wouldn't let myself admit it. Especially when you came back to me," Katniss told him. He pulled her away and wiped her tears away with his thumbs.
"Do you feel better now that you got that off your chest?" he asked. She chuckled and rolled her eyes, stepping back from him. "Thank you for sharing things like that with me," he said.
"Why? Don't you hate hearing about it? My thoughts…and everything I did was terrible," Katniss said.
"Because I love that you can trust me with these things. I'll always love being the person that you trust," Peeta said. She stepped forward again and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"It's always gonna be you," she told him. He smiled and kissed the top of her head and then pulled back. He linked their hands together.
"Come on. Let's go catch up to them," Peeta said and kissed her temple. They caught up to the others and saw them headed to the school. Half the building was gone. The other half was black. Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch, Gale, Madge, Ryee and Wheet stood in a line and stared at where the building stood.
"Man, I never thought I'd be so sad to not see that place," Ryee said. The others chuckled softly. "When you're a kid, you wish something like this would happen. That the school would burn down, and you'd never have to go back," Ryee said. He started shaking his head.
"But now it's just one of the saddest things I've ever seen," Ryee said.
"There was no heat. So, when it was winter, we'd all be in the classroom trying to sit close together just to get some warmth," Gale said.
"Seam kids never had warm enough clothes. We brought these thin blankets to school," Haymitch said.
"And then when it was hot it was like a sweat box. Kids would pass out in class from heat stroke," Katniss said.
"I used to just yank my shirt off in class," Ryee said. They all chuckled softly. "I mean, I have a nice body," Ryee said and pulled his shirt up to show his stomach and his abs. "And they've only gotten better in 13," Ryee said and smiled. Wheet shoved his back.
"Pull your shirt down," Peeta said, rolling his eyes.
They walked towards the Seam. They found Gale's house. He found what he had last time in the rubble. The metal fire poker.
They walked through it more and found Katniss' old house. She hadn't seen it last time. She had no reason to see it. But she had to see it now. There was nothing left but a black outer shell. It was where she lived with her dad. All her happiest memories of her family were in that house. Back when life was easy. And she was safe.
As they walked towards the Victor's Village, they got to a small part in the Seam that the houses hadn't been touched. Haymitch stopped and stared at one of the houses.
"Do you know which house this is Haymitch?" Cressida asked. Haymitch nodded.
"It's mine," Haymitch said. They all looked at each other. Haymitch never talked about his life in the Seam. Katniss knew this house. It was empty. But she never bothered to ask about it. She never thought twice about this house. But now it made sense. Just like the house that she lived in, in the Seam, it stayed as her house. It would stay empty until Katniss died, and her family would have to leave the Victor's Village and go back to this house. Haymitch wasn't dead. So, this house was still his.
"He left mine…he burned all yours to hurt you. He saved mine to torture me. Snow's good. He's methodical. It isn't just Peeta and Katniss he tortures. He reminds me every day of what I did. He reminds me all of the time how he killed my family…he knows how to torture every Victor," Haymitch said bitterly.
"Do you ever go in there?" Cressida asked. Haymitch shook his head.
"I haven't walked down this street since I went to the Reaping of the 2nd Quarter Quell," Haymitch told them, his eyes never leaving the house. Peeta went and stood beside him and put his hand on Haymitch's shoulder.
"Do you wanna go in?" Peeta whispered. Haymitch had tears streaming down his cheek.
"If I go in…I won't ever come back out," Haymitch told him. Peeta nodded. This could have been him. He could be the one 25 years from now, standing in front of his home and not being able to walk inside. His family, and his girl being killed.
"Can I go in there and get anything for you?" he asked. Haymitch looked over at him.
"Ask me that when we come back home," Haymitch told him. Peeta nodded his head. They made a circle and ended up walking into town. Peeta, Ryee and Wheet all stood in front of where the Bakery was supposed to be. The three of them just stared at the rubble. Completely speechless. Their whole life. Their childhood. Just gone.
"We were in there," Wheet whispered. Ryee's face turned green when he said it and he turned around and puked. Madge ran over to help him. Peeta just stood there, staring at his childhood home. Nothing. It was nothing. The house he spent his whole life…was gone. Nothing could have prepared himself for this moment.
Wheet squatted down, not being able to look at it anymore. Cressida went over to him and squatted down next to him.
Peeta's shoulders shook and then Katniss was wrapping her arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around her and sobbed into her neck.
"It's just gone," he sobbed.
"I know. I know it is Peeta. I'm so sorry," Katniss said and kissed his cheek.
"I wanted to live there my whole life. Before the Games. I wanted to have my own family there," Peeta told her. She never knew that. Katniss never knew he felt like that.
Cressida pulled them all back to attention. Katniss went over and sat with Gale and Madge, while Cressida was talking to Ryee and Wheet. Peeta had wandered off.
"I didn't think it would be this hard coming back and seeing it again," Katniss said.
"Only one difference from last time," Gale said. Katniss and Madge looked at him. "There's no dead bodies around," Gale said. Katniss heard Madge's breath catch in her throat.
"Where was…" Madge trailed off.
"Thom said they found your whole family in the house. And a couple of people who worked for you," Katniss said. Madge shook her head. She looked over at Gale.
"You saved a lot of people," Madge said. Gale shook his head. "Don't downplay it. You know that they don't. You're a real hero to them. Delly told me that you saved her family. So, you should be proud of the people you did save," Madge told him. He smiled softly at her. Katniss looked between them. She felt like she was interrupting something, so she excused herself to go find Peeta.
She looked around and saw that he was in the back of the Bakery. But she had to walk around. It took her about ten minutes to actually walk around, because of everything that was in the way. But he had his back towards the Bakery, looking out into the large patch of grass that led to the fence. She walked up to him and put her hand on his back.
"Out of everything in District 12. This one tree survived," Peeta said. Katniss followed his gaze. She turned back around to get her barring's. She looked around, trying to map out the back of the Bakery. Where the pigs were kept. She looked back at the tree. This is where she decided she was going to die. She couldn't go on anymore. She had let her sister down. She let her mom down. And she let her father down. She was going to let her little sister starve to death.
And then Peeta threw her a loaf of bread. Peeta started it all. It was him.
Peeta bent down and picked up a dandelion. He smiled at her and held it out for her. Of course, there would be a dandelion.
"I see dandelions, and I think of you," Katniss admitted. Peeta looked back up at her.
"I remembered picking up that dandelion the day after you gave me the bread. I didn't tell you on your birthday. I was…I don't know. Surprised that you had a dandelion from the same patch, this entire time," she blushed and looked at the dandelion.
"The first thing I saw was a dandelion. It gave me hope that I'd be ok. I see dandelions and I always think of you, and I have hope. And I had you," Katniss told him. The look Peeta gave her was the exact look he gave her on the beach in the arena when she said she needed him. He was shocked. He couldn't move.
"This is the spot where you saved my life," she whispered to him and looked down at the tree. He looked as well, picturing her when they were 11. Crying in the rain.
"This was the moment that you saved my life. That you saved our lives," she told him. He looked back up at her. Not understanding.
"The reason why we're both standing here, isn't because I saved you in the Games. It isn't because Finnick saved you, or the Morphling saved you. It isn't because they rescued you from the Capitol. Or because I pulled out those berries," she said and took a deep breath.
"We're standing here today because the moment I sat right here, and you threw me the bread, you're the one responsible for us standing here today," Katniss told him. Peeta was too stunned to move.
"You're the one who saved us. You're the one that saved Panem. It wasn't me because I volunteered to save Prim. I didn't start it. You started it," Katniss told him. Peeta tried to talk, but then closed his mouth.
"You're the real hero," she said. He put his hands on her cheeks and kissed her. She pulled away from the kiss and looked him into his eyes. "Peeta Mellark…you're my hero,"
He pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. Like their kisses on the beach in the arena. He was her hero. It made him feel strong. It made him feel loved. He was Katniss' hero. He never felt like he got to fight in this war. He was dragged along. Losing his mind at every turn. But now he was able to fight in it with her. And she looked at him, as her hero. He felt like small, humiliated child last time. Now, he felt like a man.
He kept his hands on her face and put their foreheads together. "God, I love you," he panted. She wanted to say it. It was on the tip of her tongue.
"Don't say it yet," Peeta told her, like he could hear her thoughts. He pulled back. "You just told me something already that I wanna enjoy. And I want you to say that to me on your own terms. And when you say that to me, I want it to be when you're laughing. You'll know when the moment is right Katniss Everdeen," Peeta said. Katniss smiled and looked down.
"Ok," she whispered. You couldn't scrape the smile of his face if you tried. He looked back at the tree and stared at it. He looked like he was pondering something. Katniss wondered what it was. Suddenly, he spun around and bent down to reach into his backpack. He pulled out a pocketknife and went over to the tree and started carving something.
Katniss watched as it started to form.
P + K
And then he carved the date. "You remember what day it was?" Katniss asked.
"I remember every important date when it comes to you," he said. How did she get this man to fall in love with her? She didn't deserve him. But she had him.
He carved a heart around the entire thing, and then stood back to admire his work. His hands really were like magic. Everything he made with his hands was beautiful.
"It'll be here forever now," Peeta said and smiled. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on to him tight. He really was her hero. He was constantly saving her. Putting his own life on the line to make sure she'd live. Taking care of her since coming back. Holding her tight during all these episodes. She knew she loved him.
But she couldn't fight that old feeling of being afraid to say the words. Even though she sometimes thought she would just blurt them out. But Peeta wanted her to say it in the perfect moment. A moment where they were happy. Where they were someplace beautiful. She could do that for Peeta. He never asked for anything. So, she could give him this.
Everyone walked to the quarry to eat lunch. She rolled her eyes. She'd have to sing again. The song she sang was powerful. It moved people in Panem. Just like the three-finger salute.
"This place is truly beautiful," Cressida said as she bit into her sandwich.
"It's one of the only places in 12 that was left untouched," Gale said bitterly.
"He must not have known this place existed," Katniss said back, just as bitterly. She felt Peeta squeeze the back of her neck.
"Why don't you sing the Hanging Tree Katniss," Cressida said. Katniss rolled her eyes.
"Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where they strung up a man
They say who murdered three
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree,"
"Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where dead man called out
For his love to flee
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree,"
"Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Where I told you to run
So we'd both be free
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree,"
"Are you, are you
Coming to the tree?
Wear a necklace of rope
Side by side with me
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree,"
Peeta could listen to Katniss' voice all day. But someone had to cut their way in and ruin the moment.
"I'm so sick and tired of that damn song," Haymitch complained. Katniss smiled and held up her drink.
"Here, here," she chuckled.
"How come you chose to sing that song?" Castor asked her. Katniss tilted her head, trying to remember.
"It was a forbidden song. Some band made it up a long time ago. Maybe 50 or 60 years ago. The Head Peacekeeper at the time forbid the band to play anymore, and punished anyone who ever sang the song again," Katniss said.
"What was the band's name?" Cressida asked. Katniss shrugged her shoulder.
"So, how'd you learn it?" Messalla asked.
"My dad taught it to me. His mom taught him. My mom sorta knew the song. Her parents told her about it, because everyone told their kids about the song, and to never get caught singing it," Katniss told them.
"But your dad taught it to you? Why'd he do that?" Peeta asked her.
"He told me one time, that his mom told him, never be afraid to sing that song. It has more meaning than anyone ever knows," Katniss said.
"Aaaand what's the real meaning?" Haymitch asked. She shrugged her shoulders.
"My dad didn't know. He said his mom knew. She was alive when the band sang it," Katniss said and took a bite of her sandwich.
"We could ask some of the older residents of District 12. They might know," Messalla told Cressida, getting excited. Katniss, Peeta, Haymitch and Gale laughed.
"Good luck with that," Gale said. District 12 didn't gossip. They protected each other. And they kept secrets! Whatever the big secret was, there was no chance that any of the older residents were telling.
When they were all done eating, they packed everything up and went to the Victor's Village. When they got there, the hovercraft came down and landed in the field right next to it.
"Alright get that shit out of my house," Haymitch told them.
"If the rats haven't eaten their way through the trunks by now," Peeta laughed as he walked up to his porch.
"What trunks?" Katniss asked as she opened her door.
"The trains been dropping off trunks to put in Haymitch's basement for the past year. Cinna and Portia sent a lot of clothes and fabric and stuff. I think one whole trunk is full of coffee for Effie," Peeta laughed as he went inside. Katniss went inside and grabbed somethings for her, her mom and Prim. Some comforts from home.
She stopped in the living room. She could smell it. She knew it was here. She ran out of there before she puked. The rose. She forgot. It just stupidly slipped her mind.
She dropped her stuff on her porch and ran across to Peeta's house. He was squatting down trying to zip up his backpack. When he saw her, he stood up.
"Hey what happened? Are you ok?" he asked, concerned. What could have happened in literally five minutes? She let out a deep breath and shook her head.
"I forgot about the rose he left," she whispered. Peeta hugged her.
"I'm ok, I'm ok," she whispered. He pulled back and kissed her.
"I know you are," Peeta said and threw a huge backpack over his shoulder. "Come on let's go," he said as he held out his hand for her.
"We brought you your trunk your majesty," Finnick called out to Johanna as her and Peeta came in carrying her trunk. She was sitting on the bed with Rue. That surprised Katniss. Since when did Johanna and Rue become friends? Rue jumped up and hugged Katniss.
Johanna jumped up. "Oh, thank God!" Johanna said and opened it up and started taking clothes out.
"I'm sick of this shit that they make me wear," Johanna said and started taking off her clothes, not caring who could see her. Rue covered her mouth and snickered.
"The doors opened you know," Katniss said dryly.
"Well then District 13 should be getting a good show," Johanna said as she started pulling on her provocative bra and panties. She closed her eyes and sighed. "Now I feel hot again," Johanna said and started pulling her things out.
"You should have seen Effie when she got her trunk full of coffee and chocolate. She nearly had an orgasm," Finnick told Johanna, laughing. Katniss looked at Rue and noticed Rue blush. She was sure that her own face matched Rue's flushed one.
"I don't know who was happier. Effie, or Cinna with clothes and fabric," Finnick said.
"I think it was Chaff when Haymitch opened his trunk full of white liquor," Peeta laughed. Katniss looked at Johanna.
"Chaff cried," Katniss said, rolling her eyes. Johanna laughed as she started pulling some clothes on.
"God those two and the old men are gonna be wasted," Johanna said.
"I told them to go hide down somewhere deep and stay in one compartment until all the liquors gone. Then Coin can't take it away from them. One nice, long drunk party!" Finnick laughed. He walked over and kissed Rue's cheek and then gave her a side hug.
"And how are you today little cutie?" Finnick asked as Rue hugged him back. Katniss gave a soft smile to the two. Not in her wildest dreams would she see Finnick with his arm around Rue. It was precious. It did something to her heart.
"Mine was really boring. I had to go to school. The teachers here are really getting aggravated with all the kids that aren't from 13. We all wanna go outside," Rue said sadly.
"You can go with us next time. We're allowed to take a few people with us. We'll take your siblings with us. Just don't let them tell anyone. I can't take everyone," Katniss said sadly. Katniss felt like she was frozen in this moment. Rue's smile. Rue's beautiful, precious smile. Katniss felt her heart stop. The only time she ever saw Rue was in her nightmares. Now, she was standing right in front of her. She never fully believed that she would be able to see Rue when this was all over. But here she was, standing right in front of her. The little girl that haunted so many of her dreams.
She didn't even realize that everyone was trying to get her attention. When she came to, she looked at all their faces. Worried and scared that she was disappearing. She looked at Peeta and could practically here his heart beating out of his chest.
"I'm sorry," she told him. "I was just lost in thought for a second," she assured him. Smiling a little. He closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. Annie came running and jumped into Finnick's arms.
"Finnick my dress is beautiful. Cinna made it beautiful. I love it," she cried excitedly into his arms. Finnick smiled. And spun her around. That made Katniss smile as well. Their compartment seemed to be a party zone, as Haymitch, Prim and Madge walked in.
"Plutarch wants us to go down to Command. Show us some editing he did with the propos," Haymitch said, rolling his eyes.
"No thank you," Katniss said as she crossed her arms.
"It's fine, you don't have to come sweetheart," Haymitch told her. Katniss smiled at him, relieved. "Just the guys. Come on you two," Haymitch said to Peeta and Finnick. Peeta turned and kissed Katniss.
"I'll meet you for dinner," Peeta said.
Katniss looked at the mix mash of girls that were in her compartment. Prim, Johanna, Rue, Annie and Madge. She always had these five ladies in different categories in her head. Dead and alive being the main two.
"Was it really bad?" Prim asked Katniss. Katniss sat next to her on her and Peeta's bed and she nodded her head.
"It was better than before. No one was…" Katniss trailed off, remembering what Gale said. No one was dead.
"My dad still wants to be Mayor when we get to go home," Madge said. They all looked at her. "I kinda wanna go back to 12 as well. It's the only place I've ever called home. I know it'll take a while to get back up. But I can wait," Madge said.
"They'll start the clean up again once it's over," Katniss said.
"Well, I hope when this is all over, that 13 let's their prisoners out and run around," Johanna said as Annie sat next to her.
"Delly told me that Paylor had spoken with all the leaders of the Districts, and the new leader in 13 wanted to start building above ground again. He didn't want everyone to live underground their whole life anymore," Madge said.
"Oh my God is Delly the one that won't stop talking?" Johanna asked as she moved her hand, mimicking someone talking. Johanna looked over at Katniss and she smiled and covered her mouth.
"She was the one that had the crush on Gale, right?" Annie asked Prim. Prim chuckled and nodded her head.
"She had a crush on Gale?" Katniss asked curiously. Prim nodded her head. "Did Gale know?" Johanna snorted.
"Please. He used to never notice anyone else," Johanna said. Katniss noticed that Madge shifted around uncomfortably. "It's crazy what almost two years can do to change someone's mind," Johanna said and got up and went rummaging through her trunk. She pulled out…Katniss couldn't figure it out.
"Alright. You need to go take a shower and wash your hair. I'm tired of looking at it all frizzy and gross. I'm gonna straighten it for dinner," Johanna said shoving shampoo into her hands. Katniss groaned. "You have soot all over you. Go!" Johanna said. Katniss groaned and listened to her. Once the door was shut Johanna looked at Madge.
"Over a year starts to change someone's heart. Give it some time. He hasn't had his freedom yet to choose what he wants either," Johanna whispered to Madge. She smiled and nodded at her.
Johanna blow dried her hair, and then used the straightener on her. "See. Thirty minutes for the whole thing. And now I can at least make eye contact with you when you're talking to me," Johanna told her. Katniss rolled her eyes.
It was peaceful hanging out with them. It was normal. She felt…content. They were going to be able to be friends for the rest of their lives! She was going to be able to grow up with these people. She hadn't felt a moment like this in a really long…a moment where she saw the result of their second chance. She had friends again. And they were staying!
"Oh, Marissa finally has dinner with us again!" Rue said excitedly.
"Who's Marissa?" Katniss asked. They all just looked at her and Johanna laughed.
"How have you not learned who Marissa is yet?" Johanna asked as she was putting some of her things away.
"She's really sweet. Obnoxiously brilliant. She's really socially awkward though," Madge said.
"Before our parents got here, me and Marissa shared a compartment with Cherry and Winnow," Rue said. Katniss stared at her blankly.
"Did you pay attention at all on your Victory Tour?" Johanna asked. Katniss shook her head.
"I tried to block everything out as much as I could," Katniss grumbled. Prim squeezed her hand.
"Well Cherry was my Tribute," Johanna told her.
"And Winnow's from 9," Rue told her.
"We all hung out together. None of us knew anyone else. Even the Careers hung out with us," Rue told her. Katniss' mouth fell open.
"You hung out with them?" Katniss asked, shocked by her words. How could anyone just 'hang' out with them?
"Clove's the only one that's really not nice. Cato's really quiet. Marvel and Glimmer are sorta quiet. I guess it just depends on which day it is though. Glimmer and Clove shared a compartment with Matic from 3 and Lagoon from 4. Matic and Lagoon were kinda afraid of Clove. Glimmer and her even fight a lot. But Glimmer's the only girl that really stands up to her. Sometimes they're friends though," Rue said. Katniss was still in shock.
"Lagoon told me they were all each other had. They were the only ones that went through the Hunger Games. No one really understood them in 13. Seneca Crane kinda took them under his wing," Annie said.
"WHAT?" Katniss burst out. She looked at all of them. "Seneca Crane is here in 13?" Katniss asked.
"Yeah. He got here right after we all did," Rue told her. Katniss was just in shock. He winked at her in training. He did remember. That meant he was one of the good guys all along. He saved her by changing the rules for her. Twice. Knowing the second time that he still was going to die.
"Who shared rooms with Cato and Marvel?" Madge asked.
"Are you ok?" Prim whispered. Katniss nodded her head.
"Thresh and Electron from 3 at first. But Electron is the one who guarded the Cornucopia. And he was having nightmares of Cato. So, Cato asked for him to be moved because Electron couldn't sleep. So, then they moved Diesel from 5 into their compartment," Rue told her. Katniss just never thought about it before. She never thought about what everyone was doing in 13. Away from their District. Away from their family. Pretending that they were dead.
The girls ended up going to the cafeteria for dinner. When they first walked in, Marissa was standing there with some of the Tributes from the Games. She remembered their faces. Of course she did. She never forgot their faces. She just never knew their names. She was still scared to know their names. She couldn't shake that feeling away just because they weren't dead. She went over 2…well almost 4 years, not knowing their names, just to get her through the day. She wanted to know nothing about them. Even when she was sleeping in their bedrooms.
"Katniss. This is Convoy from District 6. Cherry and Timber from 7. And Marissa," Rue tells her. Katniss stares at them. Her mouth became so dry. What was she supposed to say to them? She still felt like this was her nightmare. She was talking to the kids that haunted all her nightmares.
"It's nice to see you again. After a whole year," Cherry offered. Katniss gulped.
"You to," Katniss said, looking around at anything but them.
Katniss didn't see Peeta walk in. All she saw was Cashmere. Standing in a circle with her brother, and other Victors. She stomped over to the group. She grabbed someone's drink right off the table, pushed Gloss and someone else aside, and she threw the cup of water in her face. Stunning Cashmere and everyone else in the group. No one moved.
"What the hell?" Cashmere demanded.
"That was for Johanna," Katniss said. She then pulled her arm back, and punched Cashmere right in the face. "And that's for throwing a knife at me," Katniss said. Gloss yanked her back and went to shove her, but Peeta got in the middle and shoved him back.
"Don't touch her!" Peeta told him.
"She just punched my sister. If she can dish it out, she can damn well take it," He yelled and lunged at her, but Peeta stopped him. Finnick, Gale and Thresh came out of nowhere to stop Gloss. Peeta turned around and grabbed Katniss and yanked her backwards.
"What possessed you to do that?" Peeta asked. He knew why she did it. He knew as soon as she grabbed the cup of water what she was doing. She was doing it because during training, Cashmere had thrown a whole pitcher of water on Johanna. Johanna is still afraid of water. But he didn't think that she would go over there and punch her.
"She deserved it," Katniss said simply. Johanna threw her arm around Katniss and kissed her cheek.
"Thank you for defending my honor," Johanna laughed. They hid in the other corner of the cafeteria, far away from the Careers.
"Did you know Seneca Crane was here?" Katniss asked. Peeta choked on his water.
"He's here?" Peeta asked looking around. "Where?" Katniss shrugged.
"I don't know. But he's here in 13," Katniss said. Their table in the corner started filling up. Peeta forgot how to chew. "Yeah, I reacted the same way," Katniss mumbled. The Tributes from their first Hunger Games were sitting with them. Rue giggled.
"Everyone's really nice. This is Peeta and Katniss. This…is pretty much everyone," Rue said. They all stared at Katniss and Peeta. Her nightmares. She could see them behind her eyelids. She could see the mutts that chased them, with all the Tributes eyes and faces.
She felt Peeta squeeze her thigh.
"I'm really sorry that this happened to you guys…but I'm happy to see you again," Peeta told them. The girl from District 4 cleared her throat. Peeta had learned their names on their Victory Tour. How could he not? He had to sleep in their bedrooms, in their houses. He had to show as much respect as he could, given the fact that he was supposed to sleep in all the dead tributes beds.
"We know what happened. That for whatever reason we were allowed to go back and change things. None of us, besides Rue and Thresh, remembered anything until we all woke up here. But we all know we have you guys to thank," Lagoon said. Peeta looked over at Katniss.
"It's really just Katniss," Peeta said and smiled at her. But Katniss didn't like that. No one should thank her. Even though they all started to. She had killed herself because she couldn't handle her life anymore. She couldn't handle being alone. She couldn't handle that everyone was dead. And she couldn't handle that Peeta was gone. His soul had been ripped out.
"We don't wanna make you sad Katniss," she heard Rue say. Katniss smiled and shook her head and looked around.
"It's just gonna take some getting used to. You guys are all alive…" she trailed off, looking to Peeta for help.
"We're glad that we get this chance to get to you know you guys now," Peeta said. Peeta was shoved sideways as Ryee plopped himself down.
"Have you seen her tonight? She's not wearing the 13 uniform. She's a Goddess," Ryee said. Peeta and Katniss turned to look at Johanna. Katniss put her head down and laughed.
"You're ridiculous," Peeta said.
"What are you wearing?" Katniss asked as she came out of the bathroom and was braiding her wet hair. Peeta had just gotten into bed and then shook his head at Johanna. She looked down at herself.
"What? I have another date," Johanna said as she sat to put her heels on. She was wearing a tight, flaming red dress.
"Same guy?" Peeta asked. She snorted.
"Hardly," Johanna told them as she went over to the table and grabbed a mirror on its stand and put it on the table and started applying makeup.
"What happened to the first guy?" Katniss asked. Johanna groaned.
"He was so boring. I couldn't even sleep with him because I thought I was gonna fall asleep," Johanna told them. Peet and Katniss looked at each other and laughed.
"What about this guy tonight?" Peeta asked. Johanna shrugged.
"I don't know. He has potential. I doubt it though. I've already decided who I'm gonna sleep with," Johanna said as she turned towards them. "The first guy that I can convince to sneak into the kitchens with me to get something to eat, is the one I'm sleeping with. Until then, blue balls for you," Johanna said. Katniss looked to Peeta, and he just shook his head.
Katniss went over and got under the covers and sat against the wall. "Are you coming back tonight?" Katniss asked. Johanna laughed again.
"Oh please. I won't be spending the whole night with him. I'll be back. He's just fun to play around with," Johanna said and stood up to look at herself one more time in the mirror. "Alright guys. Enjoy a few hours by yourselves. And don't wait up for me," Johanna said and laughed. Peeta and Katniss laughed.
"I seriously didn't think I'd enjoy sharing a compartment this much with her," Peeta said.
"She made it bearable to be here when we shared a compartment," Katniss said and smiled at him.
"Well, I hope sharing the compartment with me makes it bearable as well," he told her.
"You make it so I can breathe," she admitted. He smiled at her. That was the second beautiful thing that she had said to him. He loved her so much, it hurt. He had been waiting so long to be here. Right here with her.
He cupped her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. He licked her lips, making her part them, and he softly pushed his tongue into her mouth. The hand that was holding her cheek, slowly worked its way down her neck, her shoulder, her arm to her hip and squeeze it. He pulled back a moment.
"Switch places with me," he whispered. She chuckled and Peeta moved to climb over her, while she scooted towards the wall, and laid down on the bed. She barely had a chance to get comfortable before Peeta was kissing her again. This time with more passion. More urgency. He reached down and started yanking off her pajama pants. And somehow got his off as well, throwing them off the bed. He pulled her leg over his hip, and squeezed her bottom, causing her to moan. He smiled against her lips, and then started moving down, kissing along her jaw. He slipped his hand inside the back of her panties and squeezed her cheek again, causing her to moan even louder.
He was kissing all over her neck, bringing his hand back up to her face. Grazing the side of her breast. It made her gasp as it sent electricity through her body. He reached between their bodies and reached into her panties and cupped her. She arched her back, throwing her head back into the pillow and moaned. He started at the bottom, feeling how wet she already was, and brought his finger up to rub on her clit. She moaned even louder.
He circled the little button. He watched her face. He loved watching her as he pleasured her. He loved knowing that it was all him making her feel like this. That he has been the only person to touch her there. And he loved knowing that he would be the only person ever to touch her like this.
"Does that feel good?" he asked her.
"Yesss," she moaned. He loved it. He rubbed her clit until she came undone in his arms. He loved watching the moment when his fingers brought her to orgasm. He pulled his hand out of her panties moved his hand up, moving her shirt halfway up her stomach, to run his hand all over as she panted and came back down to earth.
"I love watching you orgasm," Peeta told her. She opened her mouth and let out a breathy chuckle. He leaned down and started like sucking on her neck.
"What about you?" she breathed. He started kissing her jawline.
"Mmmm. What about me?" He whispered, kissing his way to her ear.
"Do you…um…" he smiled as he heard her trying to form some words. "Do you want to be on top of me? Or do you want me to use my hand," she asked. He leaned up to stare down at her. His mouth went dry. She was asking him what he wanted. To have them rub themselves to orgasm…or her use her hand. He gulped.
"I…I want to feel your hand," he said in a husky voice. She bit her lip and nodded her head. They both sat up and he leaned against the wall. She hesitated.
"Want me to help you?" Peeta asked. She nodded her head. He took her hand and placed it on top of his boxers.
"Not like that," Katniss said. Peeta looked at her. Confused. Did she want to use a washcloth like she had last time when she had cleaned him off?
"Like how you touch me," she whispered. His eyes widened. His heart stopped beating. She wanted to touch him. To REALLY touch him. Skin to skin. Oh God! He had always dreamt to feel her hand on him. He thought this had been the hardest it had ever been in his life. He shook his head to get his thoughts straight.
"Yeah. I mean…I'd love that," he let out a breathy chuckle. She smiled softly. He looked around, and saw that Johanna had lotion. He leaned over and grabbed it. "Hold out your hand," he said. She held it out for him, palm up, and he squirted some in her hand.
"Rub your hands together," he instructed. She did. His heart. It just stopped beating. And his breathing was coming out in short little breaths.
"You're gonna feel…remember I told you about precum?" he asked. She nodded her head. "You're gonna feel it. Coming out of the tip," he reminded her. She nodded her head. He gulped again and he pulled the elastic on his shorts and first adjusted himself, so he was pointing down, and then took her hand. He guided her hand inside and placed her hand down, making him hiss. He wasn't going to last long at all.
He threw his head back and moaned. She hadn't even started moving her hand yet. He waited a moment before he straightened up and looked at her. She was looking right at him.
"Want me to still help you," he asked her. She nodded her head.
"Just…teach me how to do it under your shorts," she said. Oh, please let him last longer than 5 seconds. She wanted to touch him. He gulped and nodded his head.
He maneuvered her hand where he wanted her. He helped her move her hand up and down and squeezed her hand in all the right spots. He moved her finger around his head just the way he liked.
"I can do it," she told him. He nodded his head and pulled his hand out. He felt her slowly move her hand on her own, up, and down. He closed his eyes and enjoyed it, moaning softly.
It was strange holding him like this. He was hard, and velvety soft all at the same time. And he was on fire. Was it even possible for him to be so hot in her hand?
Katniss wanted to try doing this for him. He always took care of her, and she loved feeling his hands on her. And she just realized, Peeta would love having her hands on him as well. She wanted him to feel as good as he made her feel. She stared at his face as she stroked him. He was enjoying it. It was thrilling to watch him. Knowing that she was giving him the pleasure.
He picked his head up and moved his hand inside his shorts and over her hand.
"Do this," he whispered. He maneuvered her hand, so her thumb moved across his tip, making him hiss. She could feel the liquid on his fingers. He moved her fingers around his head a few seconds, and then pulled his hand back out.
"Just do that every once in a while," he told her.
"Does that feel good?" she asked curiously. He chuckled.
"God Katniss, you have no idea how good it feels. How good everything that you're doing right now feels," he moaned. She smiled. She moved her hand slightly faster and was rewarded with a long moan.
"Kiss me," Peeta panted. She turned her body a little and leaned down. His hand tangled in her hair as their tongues met. He was groaning into her mouth. All his nerve endings were on fire. His hand traveled down her back and down to her panties and the snaked up the back of her shirt. Her skin was hot everywhere he touched. He pulled her closer to his body.
"Please. Faster," he practically begged. She sped up her movements and he groaned again. He felt the tingling sensation in his spine. "Katniss…I'm close," he panted into her mouth. It was like she had a mind of her own, and sped up again, squeezing him tighter. He felt his balls tighten, and right as he started to cum, he yanked her hand out and pulled her down to kiss him again.
Once his body settled down, and his breathing returned back to normal he chuckled.
"Ok. That was my favorite orgasm," Peeta said. It made her laugh, and she kissed his cheek.
"Why'd you pull my hand out?" she asked. He chuckled again and sat up, kissing her cheek.
"Maybe next time,"
Peeta and Katniss were getting ready for the day when Johanna walked in.
"Have you been out all night?" Peeta asked as she plopped down on her bed.
"I wish. I crashed at Finnick's," Johanna said as she started changing. Peeta and Katniss looked away.
"How was your date?" Katniss asked.
"God he was so boring. I mean, he's all pretty on the outside, but so God damned boring," Johanna told them.
"Didn't wanna sneak into the cafeteria?" Peeta asked. She snorted at the both of them.
"I'm dressed by the way you two prudes. You just gotta get over this. I'm always naked. It's not like Peeta's cheating if he looks. You can't not look, I'm always here," Johanna grumbled at them. They turned back around. "No, he was too afraid. Wuss," she said as she put her arm in the scanner and didn't even bother to look at it as she crawled into her bed.
"Just be careful about stealing any food. Remember what happened to my Prep team?" she asked as she shivered. Peeta and Johanna looked at each other, and then back and Katniss and shook their heads. "You don't know?" Katniss asked.
"I didn't even know they were here last time. Are they here now?" Peeta asked.
"All the Prep teams are. And the stylists. Rebels couldn't leave them all vulnerable after all the Victors outfits turning to fire," Johanna told him.
"Yeah, who did that if it wasn't Cinna and Portia?" Peeta asked.
"One story at a time," Johanna told him. Peeta rolled his eyes.
"When they first got here, they were starving. So, they stole some bread. And 13 decided to punish them. They locked them in a room with a drain in the middle of the floor," Katniss said shook her head. "All because they were hungry and took a piece of bread," she scoffed.
"Who kills someone for being hungry- "Johanna stopped, realizing what she was saying. She shook her head.
"Please just be careful," Katniss warned her. She groaned and fell on the bed. Peeta chuckled as he started pulling on some of his own pants, instead of the uniform.
"Think Coin's gonna be mad that none of us are wearing the uniform anymore? Like ever again," Peeta asked.
"I honestly don't care. She can bite me. Besides, it was part of my conditions to be the Mockingjay. So, if she's mad, she can't do a damn thing about it," Katniss said.
"Right on sister," Johanna said, making Katniss smile.
"I have to keep going to those Command meetings. Does your schedule say the same time?" Peeta asked.
"Yep. Right after breakfast. Which means I'm gonna go see Prim, Rue and Madge since they're not in school." Katniss said and smiled brightly at her own plans. Peeta laughed.
"I'll tell you all about it. I probably get to do some propo that they're gonna spring up on- "Johanna suddenly sat up.
"Training!" Johanna said. They both looked at her. "When we were training, we got to eat more food," Johanna said.
"So, you're gonna finally start training?" Katniss.
"Oh, good God no. But if you're pregnant, then you get more food," Johanna said. She was absolutely insane. Was she actually thinking of getting pregnant, just so she could eat more? She'd be complaining still because they would still limit her food. She turned to Peeta and laid back on her elbows.
"So how bout it Peeta? Wanna help a girl out and knock me up?" Johanna asked. Peeta's mouth fell open, and then Katniss burst out laughing. It shook him out of his trance, and he started laughing as well.
Sharing a compartment with Johanna was much easier than Peeta expected. She made them laugh. She wasn't someone that wouldn't change her ways, or would be messy, or didn't want to help. She worked with them. Taking all their laundry when she did hers. Being quiet when she came in. They just moved around each other so easily, it was like they had all shared a room for years.
"Come on I'm starving. I've lost weight since I've been here BECAUSE I haven't had much to eat. And then the past three days they've cut it back. Who the fuck does that?" Johanna demanded.
"They're apples taste really weird. You can have mine," Peeta told her.
"Yeah, so does that white pudding with the lumps in it," Katniss said.
"Tapioca," Johanna informed her. Katniss stuck her tongue out and pretended to gag.
"Next time we have that you can have mine," Katniss told her.
Katniss went to her mother and Prim's compartment. "Hi sweetheart," her mother said and hugged her. "How are you?" she asked. Katniss shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the couch. Well, it wasn't really a couch. It was a hole in the wall and a bench, made to look like a couch.
"Same as usual," she patted her shoulder.
"Where's Peeta?" she asked as she started doing…well, she wasn't sure what her mother was doing.
"In Command being bothered with Plutarch's newest idea for those stupid propos. I don't why he's even bothering with new ones. We already know we win," Katniss complained. Prim came out of the bathroom and smiled when she saw Katniss and went running over to hug her.
"I'm so glad you're here," Prim told her she said as she sat next to her. Her mom went to the hospital, so Katniss and Prim just had some time to themselves. They laid down on the bed and just stared at the ceiling.
"I worry about you a lot," Prim said suddenly. Katniss didn't look at her. How could she? Katniss was ashamed and embarrassed...humiliated by her episodes. "I always wish there was some way I could get through to you," Prim said. Katniss stared at her hands and moved them around.
"I feel like I live in two different worlds," Katniss admitted. Prim just stared at her. "I feel like I keep jumping back and forth. From what's happening now, and what did happen. And I keeping thinking that you're…" she covered her eyes with her hands.
"You think that I'm dead," Katniss let a sob escape her throat and Prim hugged her. She could smell burning flesh. She could hear the bombs in her ears. She felt herself being thrown back. She heard herself screaming for Prim. She could feel the fire, burning her. She could see the bombs, taking away her little sister. She couldn't help the sobs that racked her body.
"She killed you. And I couldn't save you. I lost you," She sobbed as Prim held her tightly. She did everything for Prim. The whole reason why she fought so hard in the Games, was to come home to her.
"Oh Katniss," Prim choked out. She squeezed Katniss harder. "I know. I'm so sorry that you had to see that. But I'm right here. I'm ok. Just calm down," Prim whispered to her, rocking her and stroking her hair.
"All my life you've done everything to take care of me. I don't want you to take care of me anymore," Prim told her. That confused Katniss, so she pulled away and looked at her.
"You've taken care of everyone around you. And it's time to stop. It's time for us to take care of you now," Prim told her. Prim brushed some of her hair aside. "We'll take care of you. And this will all be over before you know it," Prim said.
They didn't even realize that Madge and Rue had walked in until the girls banged into each other, trying to turn back around. Katniss and Prim startled, and Prim grabbed her chest.
"You scared me," Prim said.
"We're sorry. We can come back," Madge said. Katniss wiped her eyes and shook her head.
"No, it's fine. Stay with us," Katniss said and straightened up.
"Are you sure?" Rue asked. Katniss nodded her head. They all sat there for a few minutes in silence.
"Is it weird? Hanging out with all three of us? We're kind of an unlikely trio," Madge chuckled. Katniss cleared her throat.
"It is. Sometimes I don't really think it's real," she admitted.
"Well, it is," Prim said and kissed her cheek.
"Where have you been? How can you not remember what happened the last time you fed her lines?" Finnick asked Plutarch.
"She's not an actress. We're lucky we've even gotten as far as we did with her terrible acting skills," Haymitch said.
"And we can't reveal Peeta, or anyone else yet," Cinna said.
"We can show her around a little more before they make Peeta and Caesar's next video. But there's not much else we can do just yet," Finnick said. Peeta scrubbed his face. Plutarch was taking his second chance as a personal challenge to make more propos bigger and better than ever.
"We're just losing valuable time. We just have this lull until the Capitol bombs 13. We can do so much in between then," Plutarch says.
"Then let Panem meet the other Victors," Peeta said. Everyone looked at him. "Everyone thinks Librae is crazy. Let him do a video and talk about how Snow made him act crazier. Get the District 4 Victors together and tell Panem how awful he was to Librae, and how mean they made Muscida. Brutus can talk about how he's never been allowed to be in the same room as his kids until now. Let the Victors start talking and let Panem know how many Victor families he killed," Peeta said.
"I think it's fantastic. But…" Finnick looked over at Haymitch yet.
"We can't do that just yet," Haymitch said. Plutarch threw up his hands. "If they start talking, then the night that we go save those body doubles, nothing is going to shock Snow. It won't be surprising. We need to do everything Peeta just said. Start filming everything now. Because then at the right moment, when we reveal that Peeta, Johanna and Enobaria are here, and Snow made three people look like them, then we start revealing that all the other Victors are here. Then we start revealing that the Tributes from the 74th and the 75th Games are alive. We have to release those videos at just the right times," Haymitch told him.
"So, start filming them now. Then we can just blast the screens of Panem with them," Finnick said.
"We need more of Katniss," Plutarch argued.
"Can't you just leave her alone? Give her a break," Cinna said. Peeta stood up.
"I really can't listen to this anymore," Peeta said and got up and left. He looked down at his arm. He was supposed to be going to training in 30 minutes. He figured he may as well get there early.
Later that night, it wasn't Katniss or Peeta to have a nightmare. It was Johanna. Both Katniss and Peeta each jumped to comfort the other but were confused at first when it wasn't each other. Peeta jumped over Katniss to Johanna's bed to try and wake her up.
"Johanna…Johanna it's ok. It's just a nightmare. Wake up," he told her. She started sobbing as she woke up, and he pulled her to his chest. "Shhh. It's ok. It's not real,"
"He was just a little kid. He was only 8 years old," Johanna cried. Peeta and Katniss looked at each other. They had no clue who she was talking about. Peeta wondered if it was her little brother. He knew she had other siblings. He wondered if she was dreaming about them.
Katniss got up and sat behind Johanna and rubbed her back. He just held her while she sobbed. He rocked her back and forth, and she clung tightly to him.
"He was just a little boy," Johanna sobbed. The three of them stayed like that for a little while, until her cries settled down.
"Come on, lay down," Peeta said. He moved himself to the wall and pulled Johanna to his chest. Katniss laid down behind and put her arm around Johanna, touching Peeta. It was a tight fit, and Katniss wondered if she would fall off. All she had to do was turn slightly.
Johanna fell back to sleep, and Katniss and Peeta could see each other, because Johanna's head was buried in Peeta's chest.
"I think that was the worst nightmare I've heard from her," Katniss whispered. Peeta nodded his head.
"Me to," Peeta said. Peeta fell back to sleep, and Katniss just watched him. He was the kindest man she had ever known. He was so good to Johanna. She knew Peeta had a different bond with Johanna. Johanna had told her as much.
"We're very familiar with each other's screams,"
Katniss shivered, remembering when she said that. She hated thinking that Peeta had been hurt so badly for Johanna to hear him screaming so often. She buried her face in Johanna's hair.
To anyone else, there should be jealousy. But for them…it just wasn't. Sleeping in each other's beds, holding each other. It was something that you couldn't understand if you weren't a Victor.
"So, what's on your arm today?" Katniss asked Johanna. She rolled her eyes.
"I get to run around a track for a few hours. Then puke my guts up. But after breakfast, I'm gonna talk to Cenia," Johanna said.
"I'm surprised you're talking to her," Katniss said as Peeta leaned against the bathroom doorway, brushing his teeth.
"Yeah, me to. But she's actually pretty cool. And she doesn't tell me I'm safe every five damn minutes," Johanna complained as she started taking her clothes off to change. Peeta and Katniss were still getting used to that. They could easily just ignore it sometimes. Maneuver themselves around Johanna. But honestly, it was starting not to slowly phase them anymore. If you're gonna live with Johanna, you're gonna live with a naked Johanna!
She was just wearing her panties when Ryee knock on the door and opened it.
"Hey Peeta, are you- "he stopped when he walked in. Johanna had no shirt or bra on. Peeta poked his head back out of the bathroom, and Katniss covered her mouth, so she didn't laugh. Ryee was standing in there with his mouth wide opened, staring at Johanna. She smiled and chuckled.
"See something you like, baker boy?" Johanna asked as she grabbed her bra. Ryee couldn't say a word. Peeta and Katniss made eye contact and started laughing. Peeta came out and walked by Johanna and over to Katniss and his bed and started making it.
"He's speechless. I like it," Johanna said as she got dressed, with Ryee watching the whole time. She walked over and pinched Ryee's cheek.
"Thanks. Let's do it again some time," Johanna called over her shoulder as she left. Peeta and Katniss just laughed at Ryee. He finally was able to move.
"Oh my God. She just walks around here naked? How can you just walk past the hottest girl on the planet while she's naked and not stare at her?" Ryee asked. Peeta gave him a look.
"Seriously?" Peeta asked, holding his hand out to Katniss, but Ryee scoffed.
"She's practically my sister. I'm talking about a hot girl," Ryee said. Peeta and Katniss looked at each other.
"I don't think I've ever been outwardly told I'm just not hot," Katniss said.
"Which is crazy since you're the Girl on Fire," Peeta joked. Katniss rolled her eyes and walked over and gave him a kiss.
"I'll see you later," Katniss said and glared at Ryee as she walked out.
"What?" Ryee asked. Peeta came over and hit him in the head. "What?" Ryee asked again. Peeta huffed and went and sat down to start pulling on his boots.
"How can you seriously not be turned on with a Goddess like Johanna in your compartment?" Ryee asked him. Peeta looked at him like he was stupid.
"Did you ever think that maybe I do get turned on by a Goddess every day?" Peeta asked. How could he not see that about Peeta?
"Well, I guess that's true…but don't you ever look at Johanna when she's naked?" Ryee asked. Peeta sat up and just shook his head.
"No. I look at Katniss," Peeta told him. And then realized what he said when he saw Ryee's face. Ryee smiled, leaned back, and crossed his arms. Oh, this was gonna be good.
"Oh really? You look at Katniss while she's naked huh? My little brother is a man now," Ryee joked. Peeta rolled his eyes.
"Get your mind out of the gutter. I didn't mean that I see her naked,"
"So, then you're not a real man now?" Ryee asked him. Peete pinched the bridge of his nose. "Well how far have you gotten with her? You've at least done the first thing and touched her boobs right?" Ryee asked. Peeta stood up and started walking out of his compartment. Ryee ran and followed him.
"Why did you come over?" Peeta asked. Ryee laughed.
"I was gonna see if you have to go to training today to. They're making Wheet go as well. He doesn't even wanna go out and fight in the Capitol," Ryee laughed. Peeta found it unsettling that his brothers were training to go into Combat. He had no desire for them to leave. He wanted his brothers, and his dad to stay here where it was safe. Where they couldn't get hurt until the war was over. It was difficult enough knowing that Katniss was going out there when she was so mentally unstable. The only thing that comforted him was the fact that everyone out there, would take care of her.
He suddenly knew exactly how Katniss felt about Prim. Peeta didn't get that opportunity before because his family was gone. And he understood Katniss completely in not wanting Prim to leave. He didn't want Prim to leave 13. No on one wanted Prim to leave. But now, he felt this about his own family. And it was an awful feeling.
But he didn't want his brother to know that. Ryee would fight back. He wanted to go into the Capitol to fight. Prim wasn't going to argue. But Ryee would.
"Not until this afternoon. I get to go sit in Command again and argue with Plutarch about his stupid Propos," Peeta said. But then he smiled. "But Johanna's training today," Peeta said. Ryee didn't even waste another second or say goodbye as he spun around and ran away. Peeta shook his head and laughed.
Katniss spent the day in a room, like the Command room, hanging out with Victors and the Tributes from her first Games. Apparently, it was a hide a way room, when they didn't want to go to school, or Command, or to training. Katniss could get on board with that. It was becoming less and less weird to be around the kids from her Games. She was starting to get to know them, and really started liking them.
She suddenly realized that she was jealous of them. They weren't the real Victor of that Games. They weren't the Girl on Fire. They weren't the Mockingjay. They were just kids. Was she ever like them in the arena? Was she ever really a kid in there? When she looked around, she also realized that none of them would have stood a chance. The Careers would have won. Cato would have won the whole thing. The only way Cato was going down was if the Gamemakers intervened. Like with the fire, or the Mutts that got him.
How could anyone enjoy watching these children die?
Axel Vexer from District 6 had won the 72nd Games, came over to her. It was the first time that she had seen him. She couldn't stand him from her Victory Tour.
Axel had seen them from afar and made direct eye contact with Katniss. He smiled and ran over to them and shook Peeta's hand.
"Hey, it's nice to meet you. I hated being the shiny new toy last year. You guys have really taken a lot of heat so Marlah and I can fade into the background as mentors," Axel said. Marlah was from 11, and she won the 73rd Games.
Axel turned his head and looked at Katniss, and then looked her up and down.
"Wow. You're even more hot in person," he said and licked his lips. She tensed her body, griping Peeta's hand tightly.
"So, tell me. Do the drapes match the curtains?" he asked. Katniss had no idea what he meant. He laughed.
"Do you shave? Down there?" he asked and put his hand down and pointed to her vagina.
"Hi Katniss," Axel said as he sat down next to her.
"You can walk away now," Katniss said as she crossed her arms. He chuckled a little uncomfortably.
"Listen. I'm really sorry about that comment. It's just who Snow wanted me to be. Even in my own District. It was really terrible…but I had to be that guy. For Snow," Axel said. Katniss unclenched her muscles. Everyone had a role to play. She was finding that out more and more.
"I only did it, so he didn't kill my family to," he told her. She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment. When she picked her head back up and smiled at him.
"Don't apologize. I get it. Thank you for saying it," Katniss said. He smiled. He was only 19 years old. They were just teenagers.
Once he walked away, she felt hands on her shoulders. She looked up and realized it was Haymitch.
"Hey there sweetheart," Haymitch said and sat down next to her. He looked around. "I'm surprised you came in here," he said. She shrugged her shoulders.
"I didn't feel like following my schedule. I don't need to go to Command or training. It's pointless," she said. Haymitch chuckled.
"Yeah, I agree. I only go so I can make sure he doesn't put me in anymore stupid propos," he chuckled.
"Done with all the booze you packed?" she asked. He smiled widely.
"Nope. We still got some more. We're trying to spread it out. Can't get too drunk. Coin will send her little goon squad in to take it all away," he joked. It felt good to joke with Haymitch. She had been such a wreck since they were always in a tense situation.
"Told you they aren't all that bad. That you may even like some of them," Haymitch said smugly. But she rolled her eyes gave him a little smile.
"Do you really talk with Cenia?" Katniss asked softly. Haymitch looked surprised. Katniss surprised herself by asking.
"Yeah. I like her. She's nice to talk to," he told her. Katniss was nervous to talk with her. "It's like talking with Cinna," he said.
Cinna was so easy to talk to. From the moment she met him. He coached her throughout her interview to act like she was talking to a friend. Like she was talking to him. That was how he got her through her interview with Caesar through the first Games. But she was a doctor. And she didn't trust doctors. How could she trust Cenia?
"You should just let go of all that garbage in your head about her being a doctor and just talk with her. She's like Cinna," Haymitch reminder her. Katniss hated when he could read her mind. It annoyed her to no end.
Nightmares were a part of the routine for their compartment. It was Katniss that night.
"Shh you're safe," Peeta told her.
"I just left you there. I let them separate us. I just left you there and it was the last time I saw you. Snow killed you," Katniss cried into his shoulder. Peeta made eye contact with Johanna. Them being Finnick, Beetee…and Johanna.
"It was the last time I saw you. They killed you in the Capitol. They took you out of your own body," Katniss sobbed.
"No, they didn't Katniss. I'm right here. I'm ok," he pulled her back and held her face. "Hey. Just look at me. Look right at me," he told her while she sobbed.
"I made it out of there Katniss. They didn't touch me with trackerjacker venom. I'm ok Katniss. I'm right here. And it's really me," he told her. She fell into him and sobbed on his shoulder. "I know Katniss," he whispered. He picked his head up when he heard Johanna get up and start putting clothes on and started pulling her shoes on.
"Where are you going?" he asked her. She looked upset. Well of course she was. She just heard Katniss blaming her for getting Peeta caught. It wasn't her fault. Even with Katniss saying that, she still didn't blame Johanna. She never once blamed them. She always blamed herself.
"Johanna, she doesn't blame you," Peeta said. Johanna left without a word. Katniss squeezed him tightly. He couldn't go to Johanna and take care of Katniss.
"I lost you that night. I lost you. I'm so sorry that I left you…I shouldn't have done anything for Coin. I should have made them rescue you first before I ever agreed to be the Mockingjay. I messed up so many times," she sobbed. He pulled her away.
"Katniss, you have to calm down. Baby please, I'm right here," he pleaded with her. He took his shirt off and took her hand and placed it over his heart.
"Do you feel that. My heart is beating. It's really me. I'm safe. I'm in District 13. And I'm not hijacked," he told her. Her breathing eventually started slowing down.
"Good. Ok, I'm right here Katniss. Lay back down with me," he said as he started laying back and pulled her to his chest, over his heart. "Just try and go back to sleep. I'm right here," he soothed her. He hated feeling so helpless. There was literally nothing he could do for her.
Katniss looked like she was in rough shape that next morning. She was supposed to go to Command, and then training. But he knew she wouldn't.
In Command all they were doing was going over all the Victors experiences with the Capitol. Everyone was getting filmed, and they were gonna blare all the channels with these videos. They had overpowered the Capitol on that one already. Why should Katniss be a part of that? He didn't even understand why he had to be in Command every day. He didn't offer much. He stayed quiet most of the time.
They went and sat down at the table for breakfast, and he tucked some hair behind her ear. "You gonna be ok today?" he asked her. She shrugged.
"All I wanna do is just go home," Katniss said. Peeta nodded his head.
"I know. Me to," Peeta told her. Someone had cleared their throat, and the two of them looked up. It took Peeta a moment to realize who it was, that was standing in front of him. Peeta didn't recognize him without his Capitol clothes, and his famous beard. It was Seneca Crane.
"Hi. May I sit?" Seneca asked. They were to stunned to speak, but Peeta managed to somehow nod his head. Seneca sat down in front of them. How was this Gamemaker on their side? How was he one of the good ones? He glances at Katniss. She had her arms crossed. She wasn't going to be the first one to speak.
"I know this must be strange. Me here. And I understand that," Seneca said.
"You understand?" Katniss asked. Seneca gulped.
"You understand what it's like to starve your whole life? You understand what it's like to be thrown into an arena at 16 years old and fight to stay alive? To have to kill children? You understand what it's like to be so afraid that your whole body goes ice cold? You understand what it's like to have nightmares every night, and will have them for the rest of your life? Nightmares that are so bad that you literally wake up screaming. You understand what it's like to live in constant fear? And you understand all that?" This is where Katniss was intimidating to talk to. If she mustered this up in front of Snow, Peeta believed even he would be afraid of her.
"You're right. I don't understand that" Seneca said.
"Of course, you wouldn't. You're the head Gamemaker. You came up with all the creative ways to kill us. You killed 23 kids every year just for your enjoyment," Katniss said bitterly.
"That job fell into my lap. It was never something I wanted," Senaca said. Katniss didn't reply. "When Snow tells you to do something, you do it. I couldn't say no. And I couldn't do a half ass job," Seneca admitted.
"Then why did you change the rules for me and Katniss to both survive?" Peeta asked, speaking for the first time to him.
"You both were different. No one has ever volunteered in District 12. I knew something was different the moment that you volunteered for her sister. And you-both of you kept proving me right," he said. Both of them? No one ever included Peeta in that. He sometimes was just left in Katniss' shadow.
"Cinna and Portia made you both different. They made everyone remember you on that chariot ride. And then you held hands. It's something we have never seen before," he told them.
"That was Peeta's idea," Katniss said and smiled at Peeta.
"Well, it was a damn good idea. Whatever you two did, you kept standing out. I watched you both during training. You're incredibly strong. The Gamemakers were talking about it. And then you went to the camouflaging station. I just couldn't forget it. I knew you'd need to do something with camouflaging," he said and turned to Katniss. "I knew you were smart. You used all the survival stations. But I knew you were holding back. And I was right when you shot the arrow at me," Seneca said. Peeta chuckled.
"I was shooting it at the apple," Katniss told him. Senaca chuckled this time.
"You're interviews set you apart from the rest of the Tributes. And when Peeta said you were the girl he was in love with, we had it. It was you both that were the stars. I knew you would do amazing things in the arena. I just had a strong feeling. And I was right. Peeta saving Katniss from Cato, Katniss teaming up with Rue, and singing to her and spreading flowers around her, holding up your fingers. District 11 was so touched, that for the first time in 74 years, a District sent a tribute a gift that wasn't from their District," Seneca said. Katniss put her head down. Peeta put his hand on her leg and squeezed it. She was thinking of Rue.
"I had to change the rules. There was talk everywhere about this being the start of the Revolution. You two were what started it. I was the only one that could make that happen. I had to change the rules so you could both live. And I was willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good. To get the Rebellion started," Seneca told them.
It was a shock to say the least. Seneca purposely changed the rules. For them.
"The only reason why at the end we changed it back, was because Snow made me. And then you pulled out the berries. And it changed everything. I yelled at Claudius to stop you. And I never regretted my decision," he told them. Peeta was speechless. He did this for them. Knowing he was going to die.
"So, you remembered. All along?" he asked. Seneca nodded.
"I figured when I winked at you during your assessment, that was letting you know that I remembered," Seneca chuckled.
"How did you do it?" Katniss asked. Seneca looked at Katniss. "Every year. How did you send 24 children into an arena and watch 23 die?" Katniss whispered. Peeta pulled closer and rubbed her back.
"I remember every child that has gone into the arena since I've been head Gamemakers. I see them every night in my nightmares," Peeta pulled her to him and hugged her tight to his side. "Victors aren't the only ones that get nightmares. I get the guilt that goes along with it. Never being able to live with myself, because of how I orchestrated children murdering children, for entertainment," Seneca said. How awful was that? He actually felt bad for him. The Districts weren't the only ones that got punished in Panem. So did the Capitol.
"I'm not gonna waste so much of your time today. I did just want you to know that I'm very sorry. If I could change it, I would," he said as turned around and left.
Katniss and Peeta just sat there for a few minutes. Seneca Crane felt guilty about what he had to do to children. Peeta always thought the Gamemakers were monsters. So why was he sitting here feeling bad for the man who sent fireballs after him and Katniss? Who gave Cato a sword that almost killed him? That gave him body armor. He just didn't know how to feel about that.
"Well…that was unexpected," Peeta said and looked at Katniss. "Are you ok?" he asked her. He couldn't read her face. She wasn't crying. She wasn't scowling. She was just…vacant.
"Katniss," Peeta said.
"Thank you…for your consideration," she said. Still staring blankly. That's what she said when she shot the apple at the Gamemakers.
"Katniss…can you hear me?" Peeta asked her.
"You need it. And you can't walk," Katniss said. He gulped. She said that to him…in the cave. There was going to be a feast, and she was planning on getting his medicine, but he didn't want her to risk her life to save him.
He put his hand on her arm. "Katniss look at me," Peeta said.
"Put you somewhere where you can never get hurt again," Katniss whispered. His body turned to ice. She had never done this before. She had never slipped into the Games like this before…it was sort of like Librae. Librae could be talking about anything, and then thinks he's in the Games again, and then come right out of it. Annie constantly asks if something is real or not real. No. Katniss would not be like that. They couldn't get help before. But Peeta can help her.
He grabbed her and spun her to look at him. "Katniss. Focus on me. Can you hear me?" he asked frantically. Her eyes were just blank. She stared at him for a moment, and the watched as something flickered in her eyes, and she gave her head a small shake. She looked right at him.
"What did you say?" she asked. How could she just blank out like that? He suddenly remembered Haymitch telling them about one morning when Katniss and Rory went out into the woods, she just blanked out. But he wouldn't leave her to go find help. He stayed with her, and she just all of a sudden came back, and never knew she blanked out.
"Are you ok?" she asked him.
"You don't remember what you just said do you?" he asked her, afraid to hear the answer.
"I said all I wanna do is go home…what's wrong?" she asked him, getting annoyed. He shook his head.
"Nothing. Never mind," he told her. She turned back to her food and started eating it. What was he supposed to do now?