Second Chances

by Peetabreaddd

FULLY UPDATED! What happens when Katniss can't live without Peeta anymore after they won the war? Feeling lonely, Katniss does something tragic to make it all stop, but is given a second chance to make everything right. STORY HAS BEEN COMPLETELY REDONE

17. Chapter 17

They ended up being able to calm her enough to have her get up. Katniss had been so dazed, that she never noticed that Cato was the one holding her other arm. He stayed more so behind her, while Peeta walked awkwardly next to her. And it took an unusually long time to get down to the very bottom.

"I'm not some fucking prisoner. You can't hold me hostage down here," he heard Johanna yelling. Peeta walked closer and saw that there was some District 13 guards holding a couple of their family members in.

Johanna was fighting with one of the guards. Prim was standing behind her, and he could tell her was crying. Then he noticed Librae and Ron from District 4. Librae had his arm around Prim's shoulder.

"Katniss!" Prim called. Cenia walked forward.

"Why don't we just give her a little breathing room," she said to them. Prim nodded and wiped at her face. Cato moved around quietly and walked away.

"Are you ok?" Prim asked. Katniss was pretty dazed and didn't answer. Ron stepped forward.

"I can walk with you guys," Ron said as he took Katniss' other arm.

"We're all the way down at the end. They stuck us all together in one of the large compartments. They think we're too loud and crazy," Librae said. Ron glared at him, and Peeta kinda shrunk. Librae patted Peeta's shoulder.

"She's gonna be ok you know. You have all of us to help take care of her. We all take care of each other," Librae shook his head. "I have to walk away so the Capitol can take care of his body," Librae said and shook his head again. That didn't help Peeta at all.

"I think you better run ahead crazy pants. You're not helping this time," Johanna said to Librae. He cringed.

"I'm sorry. I won't talk anymore," they walked down to the end where their big compartment was. They were all this big to keep 100 people in each one. There were a few levels of these, and they were on the very bottom. It gave him a little anxiety. But he knew that nothing bad would happen to them down here.

He grabbed a bunk bed against a wall and made her sit with her back against the wall. Cenia sat on the edge.

"All I want you to do right now Katniss, is concentrate on your breathing. In through your nose and out through your mouth," She did as she was told a few times. "That's perfect,"

All of a sudden, they heard someone scream. Peeta held tight to Katniss.

"No, no, no, no, no. We're gonna die down here. They're locking us down here and we'll all be crushed to death," they heard Marlah, from 11 say. She was rocking back and forth with her knees to her chest and pulling on her hair.

"I'll be back. Make sure she's breathing. It's all we can do down here for now," Cenia said and ran off.

"It's all gonna be just fine Katniss. You know nothing bad happens down here. We're safe here," he said and wrapped his arm around her shaking body. They sat in silence for a while, while he rocked her, and reminded her to keep breathing, and telling her to drown out Marlah's cries.

"I buried the pearl to keep it safe last time," she said out of nowhere. He looked down at her. She was talking about the last time she was down here. When she didn't know what would happen.

"I thought if I did, it was like protecting your life. That it made you safe." she admitted into his ear.

Every time she talked about what happened in the past, his heart broke a little bit more. But he hadn't realized that the pearl meant so much to her. He had remembered her face when he gave it to her the first time. She liked it. But he thought she was doing that for the cameras. She was staring at it because she loved it. Because he gave it to her. It was what every man wanted to feel. That whatever he gave the girl that he loved that she was love it, because it came from him.

He hadn't realized when he found it a second time that she would react like that. Hugging it close and start crying. That was when he realized what it actually did mean to her.

"I always held it when I was here. I brought it everywhere I went. I would run it across my lips because it felt like a cool kiss from you," she whispered. His face softened. His heart softened. He never imagined that anyone would like that way about him. He never imagined that she would feel this way about a pearl that he gave her. A little object would be so precious to her.

"When me and Prim were laying there that night, I cried for you." she whispered. "And she stroked my hair and held me. I said they were killing you. I had this piercing pain my heart. I thought I was having a heart attack. But I was just heartsick. My heart was physically sick because I missed you so much Peeta,"

He gulped. He tried to keep his emotions from bubbling over. She was suffering so bad last time. No one could take care of her, no matter how much they tried. And they all had tried.

"But it was Prim who made me realize that Snow wouldn't kill you, because he would have nothing else to use against me. He already killed Cinna. He destroyed my home. And he couldn't reach my family or Haymitch or Gale. He only had you. And I wondered what he would do. And Prim said, anything to break me. I didn't know he could break me even more because I thought I was already broken. I was broken," she sobbed.

"You weren't broken Katniss," he whispered. He felt her shake her head.

"I was comparing some stupid game that I was playing with Buttercup, to how I felt about you. He was so distraught when the light went out, and that's how I would feel if you were dead. Knowing that he had you and was hurting you was bad. But knowing that he was doing it to hurt me...I couldn't handle that. I was broken. When I realized that, I knew I was breaking," she admitted. She kept on crying.

"And then I finally went to Finnick. It's what they did to him with Annie. He said he was sorry he didn't warn me. He understood me. He said he misjudged me when you hit the forcefield. That he realized that I did love you. That I didn't know what that love meant. But that I did love you." she said.

He kissed her cheek and stroked her back. He loved her. God, he loved her so much. "He made me stay up all night tying knots in the rope. He said it would help. And the next day we had to go outside. And I was so miserable. And Finnick was being Finnick, offering me sugar cubes to make me smile. He was just trying to give me just one second to not feel pain. And Gale was glaring at us. Jealous. He must have saw me pass his room the night before to go see Finnick. But he understands me in a way that Gale never will. The war changed him yeah. And it changed me. But the Games changes you in a way that only a Victor can understand." Katniss said.

That was definitely something that he could understand. She buried her face into his chest. He knew that she was done talking. It only took a couple of minutes, but he knew that these moments, talking about it and getting it out of her head, these moments helped her.

He was so proud of her. She struggled so terribly, driving herself crazy with bottling everything in. She's done it ever since her father died. She needs to get this out. She needs to be more open. And he was so thankful, that she chose him to open up to. Each time she spoke, he felt closer and closer to her. It was the same thing with being intimate with her. He knew the two were related. It helped with her opening up to him.

He squeezed her tighter and kissed the top of her head. "Lay down with me. You face the wall," he told her. They situated themselves so she faced the wall and he laid behind her, wrapping his arms around her. "Just try and rest your mind Katniss," he whispered in her ear, rubbing her arm up and down.

"Just drown out the noise. Drown out being down here. Drown out what's going to happen. Just drown everything out and rest. Just try and rest your mind for just a little while," he told her, kissing her cheek.

Everyone had left them alone for a few hours. Katniss had been so emotionally drained that she just slept so heavily through all the noise. More and more of their group started filling the large room. He heard voices that he recognized. And he could hear the conversations going on around him. But he didn't dare make a sound. He wanted Katniss to be able to sleep for as long as she could. She wouldn't be getting much sleep once the Capitol came and bombed them.

He knew fake Peeta was giving a speech about how trains have been derailed and how inhuman all the vicious crimes that were being done against the Capitol were. He was asking for a cease fire.

He squeezed his eyes tightly as he remembered that night. It was right before they hijacked him. His act of defiance was what made Snow hijack him.

Snow had been telling him all these lies about Katniss. Showing me videos of her. They left the lights on all the time and kept him awake for days. He tried to fight what Snow was saying about Katniss. He had Peeta right where he wanted him.

Peeta was delirious that night. Snow told him that they were sending bombers into District 13 if I didn't say everything he wanted him to. But then he saw her. He saw Katniss. He heard his voice. He heard her singing. He needed something good. He needed something real. He had been fighting everything Snow was saying, but he was confused. Seeing her there, hearing her voice, it gave him all the courage he needed. He would be brave. His last act of love was going to be warning her, knowing that Snow would kill him.

But Snow didn't kill him. Sure, they beat him to a bloody pulp, but Snow knew what he was doing all along. He was planning on Peeta spilling the beans about sending the bombers. He was doing it anyways, even though he told Peeta that he wouldn't send them in, if Peeta did exactly what Snow said. He knew Peeta would warn her.

Everything to start hijacking him was set up right when they brought him downstairs. And what was worse, he knew that Katniss would blame herself…if she survived Peeta trying to kill her.

He remembers the beginning of it. He tried so hard to fight it. He was fighting so damn hard. He just kept saying, I love you. He couldn't say her name because her name was being turned into something evil. He knew that much. But he could just keep saying her loved her, over and over again to fight against them.

But Snow was angry. He demanded to know why Peeta was able to fight it. He heard the whole conversation. The doctor told him it was abnormal for someone to be able to put up a fight like that. He had never seen anything like it. The doctor told Snow that he was too strong. That was when Snow yelled to give him more.

He tried not to fade out. He tried. He cried. He begged himself to stay. He knew he wasn't just losing his love for Katniss. He was losing himself. He begged himself. Don't leave me. Please don't leave me. Stay, please. Which is such an odd thing to beg yourself not to leave yourself.

He remembered taking that last breath as himself. He had never given up. He had never given into it. It literally just suffocating him. That last breath as Peeta Mellark. The Bakers son.

He didn't remember any of this until they came back. He had been shoved head first into the 74th arena again. It wasn't until he came home though, and he was all alone when he started thinking back on his time in the Capitol. Started dreaming of moments that he had forgotten and wished that they had stay buried.

He was having a hard time breathing. Now would be the worst time to start having a panic attack. But he was having one.

He unfolded himself away from Katniss as to not wake her. She needed to sleep as much as she could down here. He sat on the edge of the bed, with his elbows on his knees and his head in her hands. His heart was racing, and he couldn't catch his breath.

He felt a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, hey, hey. You just gotta breathe," he heard someone say. He didn't know who it was. It sounded familiar but he couldn't figure it out.

"Peeta just calm down ok. Try and breathe. In through your nose and out through your mouth," they said. It was just what Cenia had said. "Do it with me," they told him.

They did this for a few minutes when he looked up. It was Gale that was knelt down in front of him. He was surprised that he had done that for him. He looked around, and no one realized what had happened. He realized how quiet they both had been.

"You ok now?" Gale asked Peeta nodded his head. Gale stood up and sat on the bunk bed in front of him.

"Thank you," Peeta panted. Gale nodded his head.

"I figured she wasn't gonna be the only one that was gonna freak out down here," Gale said, looking past Peeta at Katniss sleeping form. "You thinking about that night?" he asked. Peeta scrubbed his face.

"I didn't mean to…Ever since we came back…all my memories are completely clear. I have no issues distinguishing what's real and not real…but then I start to remember things that I wish to God I wouldn't remember," he whispered and dug his fingers into his eyes.

"I never told you how sorry I was that that happened to you," Gale said. Peeta looked up at him, shocked by his words. "I tried to act like it didn't affect me. I tried to act indifferent because you were the person standing in my way to being with Katniss…" he trailed off and looked down.

"I wanted to be the hero. To come back with you and win her over because I was the big man who saved you…but the second I saw you…I had to swallow down bile. Seeing you on tv and seeing you in person was two different things. You looked terrible just lying there on the floor. Someone just threw you down there and didn't even bother to be careful," he said, avoiding looking at Peeta.

He knew Gale loved Katniss…but to actually hear Gale talk about that and hearing the hurt in his voice…he didn't know which was harder.

"You weren't the kid that went into the 74th Games, that went into the 75th. You were a man, and it scared me, because I knew you were still standing in my way…and just seeing you on the floor…it killed me for every terrible thought I ever had about you," Peeta was speechless.

He couldn't talk. He wouldn't talk. Gale was a lot like Katniss in that way of finally letting something out, and Peeta just staying quiet and letting them talk. He had been waiting two years now to say this to Peeta.

"I'm the one that carried you out…and all I wanted to do was save you, to win her heart. And I felt like the worst person for thinking anything like that," he said and then scoffed. "Should have figured out then that she had chosen you. Would have saved me a lot of heartache," he said. Peeta turned and looked over her shoulder to see if she was awake. She was still heavily sleeping. He figured she would sleep for a while. Her episodes always took a lot out of her.

"I never meant for you to get hurt. And I know she didn't either. She feels guilty for hurting you, and she feels guilty for blaming you for Prim's death," he whispered. Gale looked up at her.

"Did she tell you that?" Peeta shook his head.

"She talks in her sleep," he said. He shouldn't have said that. He was sure that just cut through Gale like enough.

Surprisingly, he didn't flinch when he said that. Maybe he was moving on. Maybe he was starting to heal. He hoped so.

"I'm sorry that you've been dragged along like this, since we came back," Peeta said sincerely. It was a terrible feeling that he wished he could fix for Gale.

"I was angry at first…and then I realized what it was like being you guys," Gale said. The surprised him.

"You two had to be this super couple for the cameras. You never got to decide what you were to each other. It was just thrown at you. You had no choice, you had to do it…I finally felt that. Being forced to be in a pretend relationship. IT was like a huge spoonful of my own medicine…I'm sorry I didn't understand it back then," Gale told him.

Peeta was speechless. He never imagined that Gale would be apologizing to him. He had grown up jealous of Gale. He had Katniss. He never stood a chance with Gale around. He had no idea that they weren't dating. He was too scared to work up the courage to ever even talk to her. He only dreamed of being with Katniss, but Gale was in the way of that.

He just didn't know that Gale never truly was in the way.

"Do you think…have you…" Peeta trailed off. How was he supposed to word his question? Should he ever ask the question. "Are you ok?" he asked. Gale sat in silence awhile before he answered.

"I started to. I tried every day. It was harder because I had to be in a fake relationship with her…but since we got to 13, I'm free," he said. It didn't really answer the question. He skirted around it. But it honestly wasn't his business.

"Hey, is she still sleeping?" Madge asked as she came over. Peeta looked between her and Gale. He saw a slight blush to Gale's face.

So, he did have feelings for her. He knew that Madge had feelings for Gale. It had been obvious. But for Gale, he wasn't so sure. Gale probably didn't know what he was feeling, just that he was feeling something. That made him happy. Madge was such an amazing person. Any guy would be lucky to have her. And he could see Gale loving Madge more than he ever thought possible.

"Yeah, she is. I'm hoping she'll sleep a little longer," no sooner had the words came out of his mouth, that the announcement came on that they were locking the doors in one hour. He watched as Madge crossed her arms.

"Are you ok?" Peeta asked her. She was nervous. Gale stood up next to her.

"Nothing does happen down here. We're all safe down here. We just have to wait it out a few days, if you can deal with the boredom," Gale told her. She nodded her head, and Gale took her elbow and directed her away from them. Gale nodded his head at Peeta.

It made Peeta smile. Gale slowly was moving on. Probably under normal circumstances, he could have moved on a lot sooner. Or maybe, not even had feelings for Katniss at all. But the oddity of the Hunger Games changed that. It changes the kids in the Games, and it changes those who are close to them. Of course Gale would start to fall in love with Katniss, even though he had never felt anything like that for her before. He was sure of it.

Just another causality of the Hunger Games.

He had laid back down on his back next to her. He knew it wouldn't be long now. They kept making the announcements nonstop. Everyone needed to find their quarters. Everyone had to be down there. What to do, to get food and blankets or medicine. Where to report to.

Katniss ended up waking up and turning on her side.

"Hey there, sweetheart. You slept for a while today. How do you feel?" he asked as he turned on his side, facing her.

"Like I was hit in the head," she whispered. He kissed her forehead and then reached behind him and grabbed a bottle of water.

"Drink some water. You're probably a little dehydrated," her eyes squeezed shut.

"How's Peeta?"

"He's ok, I guess. Just dehydrated like the rest of us,"

"Katniss. It's not real. We're not in the arena," she probably didn't even realize she had said it out loud. But he knew that the word dehydrated just set her off. It was like with Librae.

He hugged her to his chest. Why did this have to start happening to her? When would this hell be over, so she didn't have to go through this anymore? She deserved to get that time to heal.

"Come on Katniss. Let's just sit up and I can get you something to eat," Peeta told her. She let him help her sit up, and he handed her a water bottle. They ate their food in silence on the edge of the bed, staring out into the large room filled with bunk beds.

And then they heard it. The first bomb. She tucked her head down, and he gasped. God, that was terrible. It sounded awful. She had to listen to this all night long?

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Just remember, nothing bad will happen to us down here. We just gotta wait it out a few days, that's all," he reminded her. She nodded her head, and they scooted back towards the wall and just sat there.

They just sat there for a while, with her head on his chest. Jumping every time another bomb hit. He'd rather be here…then be there. This is where he desperately wanted to be that whole time. Holding her.

"Well, someone's finally awake," they heard Finnick say. He was leaning down, smiling. "Alright. I have about 20 decks of cards. Johanna wants a rematch on Rat Slap. So, why don't you join us-"another loud bomb hit. Katniss covered her ears. Finnick crawled under the bed and touched her knee.

"Hey, look at me," Finnick said softly. Katniss looked up at him and smiled. "I remember how scary this was last time. I was here with you," he whispered. She nodded her head.

"I know how terrible it was. But we're here now. And we just have to get through all the boredom. And deal with the noise. But it'll be over before you know it. And I have the best card game that'll keep us all entertained," he joked. It made Peeta chuckle.

"You don't have to play right now. Just watch. You know it'll be-"another loud crash, shaking the bunker. "Entertaining," Finnick grumbled.

"I'm sure it will be," he said. Finnick put his hand on her knee.

"Come on. Don't sit here and start freaking out. Come out with us, and smile at Johanna literally kicking anyone's ass who gets in her way of winning," Finnick joked. He pushed some hair back from Katniss' face. It made Peeta smile.

He appreciated Finnick, more than words could ever describe. He had always taken such good care of him and Katniss, even before he ever met them. When Finnick got to know them…they became his family, and he protected his family…with his life!

"Come on best friend. Don't stay hidden under here. Just come over and watch us play," Finnick said. Katniss let them both help her out of bed and walk down to the louder corner of the room. Haymitch, Chaff and some of the drunks were laying there, laughing. One, or all of them snuck some alcohol down here.

"I heard Ripper learned how to make white liquor down here," Peeta joked. Katniss gave him a small smile.

"We hid some down here. Enough to keep any of them from going through withdrawals. On Muscida's orders of course," Finnick joked as he passed Muscida. She smacked his leg.

"It's a fantastic idea. I of course won't have to clean them up. But you all will have to be responsible for them when they puke everywhere. I'm trying to spare you the clean-up. This way, they'll be passed out for the most of three days," she defended herself. Haymitch raised his glass.

"Here, here you old battle-axe," Haymitch joked. Another bomb hit and they jumped. He squeezed her shoulders.

"I gotta admit, this is horrible," he whispered and looked at her. "How did you go through this last time?" he asked her.

"I don't know…I had no other choice," she said and looked down. "I've never had a choice," she said.

If no truer words were said…every bit of that was true. He leaned forward and hugged her.

"All I want for you Katniss, is your freedom. I want you to make all your own decisions. I want you to be able to choose how you want to live your life…That's why I'm fighting so hard," he said and pulled her back, putting his finger under her chin so she'd look at him.

"I'm fighting so hard, for you. Everyone will get their freedom. But you never had yours, and you're the reason I'm fighting. So you can get your freedom," he told her. She looked down and nodded her head.

Finnick, Ryee, Blight and a few other people tried to keep the entertainment going. The beginning was hard. The bombs were constant then. But after a few hours, they started slowing down. Not by much, but enough that you could at least talk for a few minutes before the next bomb would hit.

They weren't just putting on the entertainment for Katniss to distract herself this time, like Finnick had done during the Quarter Quell. They were doing it for Annie. For Marlah. For any of them that were scared. For the ones that were terrified of being stuck down here being bombed, like Rue and her younger siblings.

By the second night though, they were all going stir crazy. "Damn beds so uncomfortable. I never thought I'd say I can't wait to get back to the damn Victor's Village," Muscida complained. Peeta chuckled.

"I think that's the first time I genuinely heard you complain," Peeta laughed. She smiled and patted his cheek.

"Well, I do it from time to time. I am a Victor, mind you. I have a lot to complain about," she laughed.

"You should tell some of those creepy, gothic, Victor horror stories," Finnick said.

"The Victor Time Keeper!" Haymitch said, making himself laugh.

"Why would we wanna listen to a horror story?" Katniss asked.

"They're not really some horror stories. It's more like mysteries," Muscida clarified.

"She knows everything about every Victor that's ever lived. She's met all seventy-three of us," Haymitch laughed. Peeta tilted his head.

"Seventy-four," Peeta clarified. Haymitch looked up at him. "There was seventy-four Games. But Katniss and I both won in the 74th Games. So, they're seventy-five of us. So, she would have met seventy-four other Victors," he corrected. Haymitch smiled and looked over at Muscida.

"And let the mystery story, begin!" Haymitch cheered. Peeta and Katniss looked at each other. Peeta had no idea what Haymitch was talking about. And he wasn't sure if that was the alcohol or not.

"Oh, here we go," Ron said. He had been sitting in a nearby bed, his daughters sleeping in the bed next to him and his wife. Ron always stayed close to Mags and Muscida, just like Finnick did.

Peeta had been giving bits of information here and there about what it was like in District 4 with the six Victors. But he was always fascinated to hear more stories. The six of them were very close. It made him feel better, knowing that this time around, Annie wouldn't be losing any of her family. She didn't just loose Mags in the Quell, and Finnick in the war. When Katniss blew up the arena, Snow killed Ron, Muscida and Librae. Her family.

"There was seventy-five Victors. But the tenth Victor…is a mystery," Muscida said.

"How's that possible?" Katniss asked.

"Yeah. I haven't heard this story yet. I've been waiting to hear about the mystery tenth Victor," Johanna said, and she grabbed a pillow and laid down.

"Which District were they from?" Ryee asked. Everyone just kinda stared at Peeta and Katniss. Not even looking at Ryee, who had asked the question.

"She was from our District," Katniss' mother said. Katniss turned and looked at her.

"How did you know?" Haymitch laughed.

"Nobody knows anything about the first Victor from our District," Peeta said.

"My parents knew a little. But they never told me," Peeta's father said.

"The same with my parents. But they never said a word to me about her," Hazelle added.

"How is it, that no one questions that?" Johanna asked.

"People in District 12…we just don't reveal things that are supposed to be a secret. If it was bad, we put our heads down and keep on walking. It's dangerous to have knowledge. If you don't know anything, you can't get hurt. District 12 turn their heads," Peeta said.

"Especially anyone who lives in the Seam," Gale said. Everyone looked up at him. "You take secrets to the grave. And you just pray that the next generation doesn't have to suffer from the secrets that they had to bury," Gale informed them.

"Your grandmother used to tell your father everything from back then," Emily said.

"What would he say?" Prim asked. Emily shook her head.

"My parents raised me to fear things like that. I never wanted to know. Like the Hanging Tree song. That song was forbidden, and he taught you that song. Whatever your grandmother knew, she didn't take it to the grave. She told him," Emily said.

"Why would she do that?" Katniss asked her. But her mother just shrugged.

"I never met her. She died when he was just a teenager," Emily said.

"So, why didn't you ever meet her?" Peeta asked. Muscida looked at Mags.

"They didn't start the Victory Tour, until the 11th Games. And that was the year the Mags won. So, she was the first one that went on Tour," Muscida said. Mags smiled and nodded.

"Did you meet the girl?" Gale asked. Mags shook her head.

"It was the first year that any other Victor, if they weren't from the same District, got to meet each other. Mags got to twelve, and she heard whispers about someone winning the year before. Mags asked but…" Muscida trailed off.

"But a Peacekeeper told her never to talk about the Victor from District 12," Finnick said.

"Once she got back to the Capitol, Snow came to her then. He wasn't the President at the time. But he was able to get into the mansion to see her, with the Head Gamemaker at the time. Dr. Gaul right?" she asked, looking at Mags, who just nodded.

"They threatened her, that if she ever talked about the Victor from 12 again, they would kill her entire family," Muscida said. Everyone looked at Mags.

Peeta wondered if any Victor was not threatened, or had their family murdered? He wondered if any of them escaped either of those things. He had personally never been threatened directly. But his family was murdered anyway.

"The Capitol went nuts over seeing past Victors, with current Victors. So then the next year, all the past Victors got to go to the Capitol during the Games. And then they all started getting interviewed. They went crazy and loved every minute of it. The 13th Games is when they figured out to stop letting the Academy kids be the mentors, but to start letting the Victors be the mentors for their Tributes,"

"Wait. Are you telling us that the mentors used to be Capitol teenagers?" Madge asked. Muscida nodded.

"But they wanted us to die. Why were they giving us Mentors from the Capitol?" Prim asked.

"It was always a Game to them. If the Mentor's tribute won, they always won a big prize. But little by little, when new Districts won, the less Capitol mentors that they actually needed," Muscida said.

"That's sickening," Wheet said, looking down at his feet.

"The Games didn't start out as sophisticated as they came to be. The Academy's kids assigned to being Mentors always came up with something new. Something to add to the traditions," Muscida said.

Teenagers? Teenagers were coming up with these cruel acts? On other children? That made his stomach nauseous. How could children plan and orchestrate children dying each year? How could they?

"Like what?" Marlah asked. She was leaning against Blight, who had his arm wrapped around her.

"Well, the first 15 Games had been in the same arena. It was a stadium. There had been a bomb that went off a few years before, so after the 15th Games, they had to build a new stadium, because that one had been condemned. It wasn't until the 21st Games that they said no more, we'll build a new arena each year,"

Everyone was silent as they listened to her talk.

"They wanted it more glamourous, so they started bringing in Prep Teams, and stylists to make them all pretty. And then once they saw how pretty they were, they added the Tribute Parade in the City Circle. As years went on, they added more and more things. Escorts. Training center. Then they started teasing the Districts. Taunting us. They started lavishing them with the trains. All the gourmet food they could stomach. Beautiful clothes. Beautiful living quarters. Beautiful Victory Tours. Beautiful Victor homes. Loads of money. It was a joke to them," Muscida said.

"District 12 has the most run-down houses," Haymitch said, taking a swig straight from the bottle.

"We have run down houses? How is that possible?" Peeta asked.

"Snow's always hated District 12. Not sure why though. He hates it even more now," Finnick laughed.

So, Snow's hated District 12 all along? This really was a mystery. They were all hooked. Everyone hung on every word that was spoken. Peeta couldn't help wondering why Snow hated their District. He wanted to know why no one knew about their first Victor. He wanted someone to reveal something. He looked at Katniss and could just tell by the look on her face, that she felt the same way.

Maybe it had something to do with what happened with Katniss. Why he went after her so badly. Maybe why their District was the poorest District.

"They like to show footage from all of the past Games. But they have never, once shown, anything from the 10th Games. And they have never added her name to any list of Victors. They've made it seem like it never happened," Muscida said.

"Something bad must have happened. Why else would they want to cover it up?" Thresh asked. Peeta looked around. So many of them were circled around, hanging on every word.

"But Snow wasn't even in power then. How could he dictate it not being shown again? Erasing it?" Gale asked.

"Wait, was he a mentor?" Cinna asked. As if on cue, another bomb hit, and it scared everyone. Katniss had practically jumped in Peeta's lap.

"Damnit! I spilled my drink," Haymitch said as he wiped at his shirt.

"Well, if that wasn't a sign, I don't know what is," Finnick laughed. "And you said this wasn't a horror story,"

Peeta squeezed Katniss to him. He could feel her shaking, and subtly put his hand over her heart for a moment, before pulling his hand back.

"Your heart is racing. Are you sure you want to listen to this?" he asked softly. She nodded her head.

"It was just eerie timing. I'm ok," she said and gave a soft smile.

"No one ever confirmed or denied it. But it's possible that he was a Mentor," Muscida said, answering Cinna's earlier question.

"And if he was, I bet we all know which District he was a Mentor for," Finnick said.

"But how could Snow hide this when he wasn't anywhere near being President? How could he just erase the 10th Games with no power?" Peeta asked.

"No, but the very first Head Gamemaker was in charge of all that stuff back then. She had all the power of the Games, before Snow became President, and then he took away most of the power. She had to go to him for approval. She was still head Gamemaker for three more years after that, until she mysteriously died," Lilly Flamsteed said. She was the Victor from District 9. From the 21st Games. Peeta knew she was somewhere in her seventies.

"Kernal and Jomilee told you that," Seeder said. Lilly nodded her head.

"They were older Victors?' Rue asked. Lilly nodded.

"From my District. Kernel was the seventh Victor and Jomilee was the fourteenth. And Kernel remembered that it was a girl that won. And he noticed that the Games were never aired again. He didn't watch everything. But he said that whatever happened in the Games…she wasn't supposed to win," Lilly said.

"Somebody broke some type of rule, so the girl could win," Peeta turned to look at Olive Rosethorn. She won the twenty third Games, from District 10.

"What was the rule?" Ryee asked.

"Rancher, from my District. He won the sixth Games. He said something about that year's Games never felt right. Something was wrong with those Games. There weren't 24 Tributes. Some had died already before they ever got to the arena," Olive said.

"One of them was already hanging in the middle of the Cornocopia when the Games started. Punishing him for running away," Silk said. He was 80 years old. He had won the 9th Games and was from District 1.

"You remember the 10th Games old man? "Chaff asked. Not in a mean way.

"My minds not what it used to be. All I know, is that the second I let a secret slip from those Games, they electrified me, so I had a hard time remembering things," Silk said. Peeta looked at Johanna, who put her hand over her chest. Axel, the seventy second Victor from District 6 put his hand on her shoulder. They had electrocuted him and Johanna when they were held in the Capitol.

"He remembered a lot more back then," Turquoise Zest said. He was also from District 1, and he was the from the thirty fourth Games. "He told Lavish Sterling from our District. She won the year before. And they said they'd kill her family if she ever repeated it. But Lavish told us what Silk knew," Turquoise said. He looked back at everyone.

"That year, the Mentors brought all the Tributes to the arena so they could get a feel for it, and a bomb went off. Not sure if it had been left over from the Rebellion, or someone planted it there. But some of the Mentors and Tributes died. Some of the Tributes escaped, but they were killed. That kid who was hung up had been missing for days before he was finally caught. And they made an example out of him. The Capitol was really excited by the turn of events. It was something different," Turquoise told them. Silk shrugged.

"I don't remember the bomb. Just the kid hanging up in the air," Silk said. Gloss patted his shoulder. It was odd to see Gloss so caring like that. But why did he keep getting surprised. Victors took care of each other.

"How are they able to keep everything from those Games such a big secret? None of that makes any sense," Prim said.

"The Capitol has always been a step ahead of the game. They've always been in control of our fear. They just scared anyone who wanted to talk about the 10th Games," Muscida said.

"What was her name?" Peeta asked. Silk shook his head.

"I don't remember. All I remember is that it started with an L," he told them.

It was definitely a strange tale. One that Peeta couldn't help but be fascinated by. He too was wondering just how they were able to bury that year. Bury the girl who won. How did District 12 just hide her away like that, never bothering to even mention her name?

He laid in bed that night with Katniss, just staring at the bed above them. There were so many secrets. He was sure that it would take years to try and unravel them. And anyone who was a danger to revealing any of the secrets, had been murdered already. But he couldn't stop thinking about it. Why did no one remember what happened to the Victor from their District. How could no one know her name? How could she have been erased from history?

He felt Katniss turn and curl against him, making him smile. He loved this girl so, so much. He wished he could fix her though. It broke his heart more and more every day. And her mental deuteriation scared the hell out of him. He was terrified for her. He wondered when it would officially happen. When she would snap, worse than any other time.

She had hit that point though. When she killed herself. He still didn't forget about that. Sure, they ignored it. They pretended that it didn't happen. But sooner or later they wouldn't be able to ignore it anymore. They'd have to talk about it. They'd have to face it and deal with it. And it scared him.

The bombings had slowed way down, until it completely stopped. They had to wait before they moved. It was boring. And it was suffocating. Katniss had been on complete overload since she had been down here. She was claustrophobic and she needed to breathe. Peeta knew she hated when anyone was watching her.

Katniss was laying down, and he was sitting on the bed, and Wheet sat in front of him, chuckling.

"He must be going crazy," Wheet said, turning his attention to Ryee who was walking around. "All that pacing at night that he does in the halls. It worries dad when he doesn't come back until the morning. But at least he stays with you when he's out all night," Wheet says.

It registered with Peeta what he said, and he turned his head. "Huh?" Peeta asked. Wheet was distracted now that Thresh's sister was in his line of sight.

"When he can't sleep, and he goes and sleeps in your compartment. It makes dad feel better that he always sleeps there, instead of wandering the halls all night long," Wheet said, smiling at Theresa.

What lie was he spinning? Why would Ryee lie about sleeping in his compartment.

"Dad asked Ryee if it was ok that he slept there five times last week. But he said you didn't mind. He just sleeps on the floor," Wheet said. Five times? Ryee wasn't in his compartment five times last week? Where was he staying?

Johanna crossed over in his own line of vision, passing Ryee. He watched her leave. So Ryee still did like her. He figured that much. He knew Ryee wouldn't just get over Johanna that quickly. Although, they had been in 13 for over six months now.

Before he could finish his thoughts, he watched as Ryee looked around, and then snuck out of the doors, going the same direction that Johanna went. Peeta's eyes widened.

No…it couldn't be. Ryee and Johanna? His brother was the mystery guy that Johanna always talked about? Johanna was always out of the compartment. And she never lied about when she went to Finnick's, or when she didn't. It was talked about very openly. If she didn't sleep at Finnick's, or even Megan's, then she was out with mystery man. And the mystery guy was Peeta's brother.

Wheet got up, and it just left Peeta alone with Katniss. This was news that he knew Katniss wanted to know. But he'd wait for the right moment. She'd want to at least enjoy that.

The night before they were set to go up to the ground, Haymitch brought Peeta into a makeshift Command meeting.

"We're going in to save the doppelgangers," Haymitch said. Peeta nodded his head.

"We're not taking any chances. We're taking the same people, and we're doing the same thing. We have rebels that have everything set on their end. Snow still plans on letting us rescue them," Boggs told him. Everyone who went on the rescue mission was there. Plus, the regular gang.

"So, you're going live again during all that?" Peeta asked.

"I'm talking about how he became President, just like last time," Finnick said.

"We're not taking any chances to stray away from the course. This worked last time, we're sticking to it," Plutarch said. Peeta nodded his head. He knew what was coming.

"Katniss is gonna have to talk to him again, isn't she?" Peeta asked. Haymitch put his head down.

"He was distracted with talking to Katniss. He held back storming the Tribute Center because he was talking to her. He was playing with her big time. We fell right into his hands, and he got to make us believe we were actually rescuing you," Haymitch said.

He saw the look of guilt on his face. Haymitch would never get over what happened to Peeta. He would take that pain to the grave with him. No matter how many times Peeta said he didn't blame him. He and Katniss were so similar in that way. Haymitch couldn't have done a single thing to change what had happened.

"He lives for torturing her," Cinna said. Peeta nodded his head.

"How long are we gonna keep doing this to her?" Peeta asked quietly. No one answered him. How could they? "I'll go get her," he stood up and walked out.

He walked down the long hall. It felt longer than normal. Katniss was sitting on the bed, facing the other bed that had Rue and Prim. Peeta stopped when he got to her, and Katniss looked up at him. He held out his hand for her to take. She looked down at it and knew. He was taking her to a meeting.

Her eyes got a little teary. She took his hand and she let him lead her back down the long hallway. He felt like he was leading her to her death. She was sacrificing her mental stability. But her mental state never mattered to them.

He led her over to where he had been sitting, but this time Cressida had vacated the seat next to him. They sat down, and he waited for someone to speak. Anyone. But no one could.

"I have to talk to him again, don't I?" she wasn't asking. She was stating a fact.

"We're sorry Katniss," Haymitch said. Katniss wiped at her face, and Peeta squeezed her neck.

"Do I still have to make a video?" Katniss asked.

"We're not going to air it until after Peeta's rescued and they're back in 13. But we will be airing while we're trying to get them out. Haymitch will start filming, and then Finnick and Annie," Plutarch said.

"Beetee's gonna have us back up and running while the hovercraft is coming back. And that's when we'll start filming Librae and how Snow made him appear to be crazy. And then Mariah Green from 9 agreed," Cressida said shakily, and looked away. Mariah was another Morphling addict.

Peeta saw Haymitch catch Cressida's eye and tightly shook his head. But Katniss already caught it.

"What's Mariah talking about?" Katniss asked. Everyone was silent.

"Maybe we shouldn't know," Peeta said. But Katniss was determined. He knew that look. He wasn't going to argue with her.

"I want to know," she gritted through her teeth.

"She's not gonna let up. Just tell her," Gale said. They all looked to Haymitch.

"Mariah was really pretty back then. And we all know what happens to good looking Victors…she had it worse though," Haymitch said, clearing his throat and looking at the table. Peeta could only imagine where this was going.

"She wouldn't agree to sleeping with someone. So, Snow had them take ger forcefully. She was only 15," Haymitch said sadly. Katniss put her hand over her mouth.

"Snow liked to mess with her head. She had said no that first time, and she spit in his face, so he killed her sister. She refused a second time, and he killed her mother. It was like a fun little game to him. She tried to kill herself over and over again. But he kept cameras in her house. There were Peacekeepers stationed outside of her house so they could get in at any time and she couldn't run away,"

Every time Peeta thought he heard the sickest thing Snow did, he was proven wrong again. She had been brave though. She spit in Snow's face.

"Mariah's entire family ended up being killed. And she started taking Morphling. She wasn't pretty to the Capitol anymore. So, Snow had no use for her. But he still loved to bring her out all the time. And any time she's in the Capitol…" Haymitch trailed off. He couldn't talk anymore.

"He gives her to the Peacekeepers while she's there," Finnick said. That could have been him and Katniss. He had nightmares thinking how it could have been.

His nightmares take on a different scenario each time. Most of the time losing their virginity to someone else, in front of each other. Peeta was forced to watch every time Katniss was forced. It was the ultimate punishment. Having to sit and watch and there was nothing he could do. She killed herself a lot in his dreams. That's when he would wake up.

He looked over at Katniss then. She looked defeated. He was standing by and literally pushing her into the war. He felt like he was the one making her go into the Hunger Games to fight another time. This guilt was eating him from the inside out.

Her mental state was terrible. She was forgetting things. She was slipping in and out of what happened, and what was happening. She'd have episodes that would last for days. And her nightmares were worse than ever. Was she going to survive this?

"When you talk with Snow, Peeta is gonna be behind the camera. You're going to be able to keep eyes on him the entire time," Haymitch told her. She wiped the tears that were sliding down her face.

"We're sorry Katniss," Finnick said. She just nodded her head and looked down at her lap.

"I know. I have to do it. I don't get a choice. I never have had one," she said and slowly stood up and walked out the door. Peeta slammed his hand on the table and got up to follow her.

"She's not gonna make it through this," Haymitch said.

"Talking to Snow is going to kill her," Effie said, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

"We just keep feeding her to the snakes," Cinna said, scrubbing his face.

"I feel guilty every time we ask her to do something…it's like sending Annie into this. It's killing me. She's not stable enough to keep going, "Finnick said.

"We don't have a choice," Plutarch said.

Katniss and Peeta laid in their bed. Peeta on his side, pretending not to watch her, while she stared up at the top bunk. He felt helpless. There was nothing that he could do for her. There was nothing that he could say. He couldn't change the fact that she was the one that had to fight for everyone's freedom. She was the one that had to torture herself.

"There are roses up there you know," Katniss said. No emotion to her voice.

"I stayed up all night with Finnick tying knots. Then that morning he was flirting with me. Using sugar cubes. The first thing he ever said to me was about sugar cubes. We were just playing. And Gale got so jealous because I wanted Finnick's company and not his," she said. He leaned up on his elbow to listen to her. She scoffed.

"My first thought was 'what now'? I was so mad and annoyed at him. Wondering if he thought something was going on between us. I just didn't care. I had rope burn on my hands, I couldn't even keep my eyes opened and I had to be on camera. And Snow had you. You could have been dead. He could think whatever he wanted. I wanted to punch him," Katniss said bitterly. Peeta wouldn't say a word. He tried not to during these moments, so she wouldn't stop talking. So, she wouldn't stop opening up.

"I needed Finnick. He was truly, the only person who understood exactly what I was going through. Snow had you and Annie. I needed to be around Finnick," she whispered. Her hands were on her stomach, and he reached over and squeezed her hand.

"And then I saw the roses. The kind that were always on stage on our Victory Tour. The one's that were meant for lovers. He was sending them to me to hurt me…I couldn't stop shaking," she whispered as she started to cry again.

"I couldn't stop hurting for you. They just wanted me to say one line. And I just couldn't do it. I went back and forth in my head. He's doing this to taunt me. Dangle you in front of me. And then I'd think, he's just going kill you. No, he's just gonna hurt you. No, he's going to kill you," her shoulders shook slightly.

"I just stared sobbing. Everyone tried to hug me, but I didn't want any of them. I only person I wanted was Haymitch. He loved you to. And I knew that if I said anything else as the Mockingjay, it would be taken out on you. Whether it was in your torture or in your death," she covered her face with her hands.

"It's ok Katniss. You don't have to talk anymore," he whispered to her.

"I told Haymitch I couldn't do this anymore. But I couldn't stop. I just lost it because I couldn't stand you not being there. I needed them to stop hurting you," he pulled her to his chest. God. Everything she went through. It was killing him. "And then Finnick broke down after me. And they sedated us. Why was he so cruel to us," she cried. He just squeezed her harder.

Snow wasn't just cruel to the two of them. He was cruel to anyone that stood in his way.

"Just don't talk anymore Katniss. Just try and get some sleep. Everything will be ok. I promise. We just have to get through these next few months. We'll get through this, I promise you,"

The next morning, they were led up to the ground. Katniss was going to make her propo now. With all the roses. She was panting heavily.

"It's gonna be ok Katniss. We'll just do a propo, and then we'll be done, ok?" he told her as he kissed her cheek.

Boggs, Cressida, and her team, Haymitch, Finnick, Johanna, Cinna, Effie and Cenia were going up to the roof with them. They were all there for moral support. Boggs and Haymitch convinced Plutarch to stay down there and talk with Coin. No reason to have Plutarch come with them and make things worse.

The light hit his eyes and he had to squint. He felt her death grip on his hand, and he turned to look at her.

"You can do this Katniss. Just hold onto me," he told her. When they got outside, he was shocked by what he saw. It looked how District 12 looked. Except…roses. They were everywhere. He felt bile rise in his throat. No wonder Katniss lost it out here. If the roles were reversed, he would have lost it to.

"Just breathe Katniss. You can get through this. Just breathe," Cenia reminded her. Peeta was so thankful that she was coming with them. Cinna was with them because he knew Katniss needed him. Cinna was better with the Q and A stuff with her. She was talking to a friend. Her interviews went better because she was talking to Cinna, not the Capitol.

He knew Katniss wasn't listening to a word anyone was saying. They adjusted her in the seat, getting her mic on her. Peeta sat right next to where Pollux was standing, out of the line of vision. Cinna sat on the other side.

"How did you and Peeta first meet?" Cinna asked. Katniss sat there for a minute, and then she shook her head.

"I don't want to tell Panem that story. It's not for them anymore. I need to talk about something else," Katniss said. They all started looking at each other.

"When was the first time that you saw me?" Peeta asked. She looked over at him and squinted her eyes. She was thinking.

"On the playground…Ryee and you were running across the grass. I remember Ryee was one of the Baker's kids, and that he used to run and smack straight into walls, which is what he did that day. He broke his nose I think that time. And you stopped running and yelled to him. You tore a piece of your shirt off so he could cover his face and wipe the blood off," Katniss said. Peeta couldn't help it, but he laughed.

"I remember that day. He still has this little scar on his nose," Peeta said, pointing to his own nose. Katniss smiled at him. Peeta noticed for the first time that Castor wasn't filming Katniss. He was filming the others. Castor was watching their reactions.

"Did you ever talk to Peeta growing up?" Finnick asked. Katniss shook her head.

"I'd go to his house all the time when his mom wasn't home, so I could sell or trade a squirrel to his dad. His brothers would answer the door, or his dad would. But Peeta never did," she said and looked over at Peeta oddly. She chuckled softly and put his head down, rubbing his face. He could feel himself blushing.

"Yeah, I was too shy to answer the door. I always made someone else answer it," he embarrassingly admitted.

"So that was the first time you ever talked to him?" Finnick asked. Katniss shook her head.

"I talked to him in the Bakery once. Prim wanted a cupcake for her birthday. And I didn't have much money, but it was all she wanted. So, I went in there and Peeta was at the counter. And he made her a pink and yellow cupcake," Katniss said and looked down at her hands.

"I was secretly just freaking out because I finally got to talk to you," Peeta chuckled. Katniss looked up at him.

"I didn't have enough money for that cupcake, did I?" she asked him. He laughed again and shook his head.

"No. I got in big trouble that day because I was shortchanged on a cupcake…it was worth it though. Prim was running by the Bakery a few days later when me and my dad were out front. And she said she got a cupcake her birthday, and she thanked us because it was the best thing she had ever eaten," Peeta smiled at the memory. And then he laughed again.

"Then my dad figured out what happened with the cupcake. He knew I gave it to you," Peeta laughed. Everyone was quiet, just watching the two. Everyone was silent for a minute.

"When did you find out he was in love with you?" Cinna asked. Her shoulders shook in a small chuckle.

"Same time everyone else did. When he was on stage and said his crush came here with him," they were silent for a moment. Peeta knew why of course. She was being strong. She was talking normal. She was having a good moment. Their family was here because they wanted to distract Katniss from what was really happening.

"What'd you do when you found out?" Cressida asked. Haymitch snorted and then started laughing.

"Shut up Haymitch!" Katniss told him.

"She tried to choke him and then shoved him to the floor, and he cut up his hands on an urn that shattered," Haymitch laughed, and everyone else joined in on the laughter. Peeta included.

"Shut up Haymitch," she yelled out again. Peeta sat up a little and put his hand in front of Pollux's camera and pointed to his palm.

"I still have the scar to prove it," Peeta said. The group laughed and she rubbed her face.

"You have some good memories of him," Cressida said, pulling her back to the present a little. She looked down at her hands.

"I have a lot of them…Snow tried to take them. He tried to take everything away from me. And he's always had the upper hand, so it's always been so easy,"

"How do you deal with it when Peeta's not around?" Cinna asked. She looked to the side and wiped a tear. She was trying to find the words.

"I don't do well…he's always been the person to make me feel safe," she whispered so quietly. The only way the camera would pick up on her voice is because they put a mic on her. He hated watching her cry. But he just had to sit there.

"He's always been the one to chase away my nightmares. And pull me out every black hole that I find myself in," she said, wiping at her face again. She couldn't say anything else.

"Why don't you talk about when Snow came to your house," Finnick suggested. She nodded her head and took a deep breath and then turned her face back.

"The day the Victory Tour started; Snow came to my house…he threatened to kill everyone I loved. There were uprisings, and he wanted me to go into the Districts, and settle them down. He said I wasn't in love with Peeta, so I needed to convince him that I was in love with Peeta. Because if I didn't, he would kill us all," her lips trembled and she hid her face.

"You're doing good Katniss. Let's just get it over with," Peeta told her. She nodded her head and took a few deep breaths.

"You're doing great," Cinna told her. She looked back at the camera.

"He thought he had everyone that I loved, so he could make me do whatever he wanted…I have everyone here. So, I'm free. He can't get to them…when he was at my house, he told me that the Capitol was fragile. And at the time…I didn't know what he meant. It was hard to see clearly because I was…so afraid," she whispered as she tried to cover her sob. She covered her face again, and Peeta knelt in front of her.

"It's ok Katniss. We're gonna get through this. Its's just another day. Another thing that we have to do before we can go home," he told her as he rubbed her arms up and down. "Just get through this video and we can go back inside," Peeta said.

They waited another moment for her, and she nodded her head. He kissed her cheek and he sat back down across from her. She sat back up and cleared her throat.

"Now…I don't have to be afraid because he can't reach us anymore. So, I can finally tell everyone, what Snow meant…The Capitol is so fragile, because it depends on the Districts for everything. Food, energy, water…even the Peacekeepers that police us. If we declare our freedom, the Capitol collapses…" Katniss says, and looks over at Peeta, and he just smiles.

"Take a deep breath and deliver that last line. You said it before, so say it again. And mean it just like you meant it last time," Peeta encouraged her. He knew she could do this. It just killed him knowing that he couldn't convince her that she could do this.

"And be strong about it for fuck's sake," Johanna said, clearly bored. Katniss looked at her and laughed and wiped at her face again. She looked right at the camera.

"So, President Snow. Thanks to you…I'm officially declaring my freedom, today!" she said strong. Peeta jumped up and hugged her.

"You did awesome. It's perfect," Peeta said.

"Good job sweetheart," Haymitch told her.

"Come on, let's go get some lunch," he said and kissed her temple. She pulled back and her eyes started wandering. Oh no.

"Don't look at anything but me. Come on, let's go back inside," Peeta said. She started breathing heavily and frantically whipped her head around.

"No, no, no, no, no, no. He's hurting Peeta because I'm the Mockingjay. He's gonna kill him. Finnick told me he's dangling Peeta in front of me to hurt me. He's going to kill him," she sobbed. He grabbed her arms and tried to get her to look at him.

"It's not real Katniss. I'm right here," but she wouldn't listen. She grabbed her head and closed her eyes.

"HAYMITCH!" She screamed. Haymitch came right over and made her face him.

"Katniss look at me. It's not real. Peeta's right here," he said, but she collapsed into him.

"I'm not doing it anymore Haymitch. I won't do anything to make him hurt Peeta anymore. Don't make me do this anymore. Please don't make me do this anymore. Please Haymitch," she sobbed.

"Let's get her back inside and try to get her to her room. Let's see how far we can get," Cenia said. Haymitch and Peeta got her inside but didn't get to far down a few halls. Cenia grabbed Katniss' face.

"Katniss, I need you to listen to me. I need you to look at me. Open your eyes and look at me," Cenia told her. She kept repeating this until Katniss opened her eyes. "I don't want you to talk anymore. I want you to listen to me. I need you to breathe. That's all I want you to think about,"

This went on for a few minutes again, and then started making Katniss tell her everything that she was seeing. What her surroundings were. Who was standing near her. What they were doing. What reality it was. It took nearly 20 minutes until she finally calmed down. She finally let Peeta lead her back to their compartment and got her to lay back down.

She got a short reprieve from the chaos. Everyone got to go back to their compartments. Katniss got through the video that they would be airing when the hovercraft was leaving the Capitol to come back to 13. They would start to air it as a distraction. Then they'd start airing Finnick, Haymitch and Librae. This wasn't going to be easy on Katniss. He knew the next part was going to be difficult. More difficult than seeing the roses.

She hadn't had a moment to rest. Being so far below ground while she had to sit through about three days of bombs, then having to see those roses again. Living through her pain all over again. And now, she'd have to face Snow again.

She ended up sleeping the rest of the day and they ate their breakfast and lunch in their compartment. Johanna hadn't shown back up. He wondered for a brief moment if she was with her mystery guy…his brother…but something told him that even she didn't want to be around him right now. He figured she was with Finnick. Or Blight maybe.

Or even Megan from her District, who won the 41st Games. Megan was like a mother figure to her. He had a feeling that of all the Victors, Johanna would choose Megan right now. It made him happy that she did in fact have family.

That afternoon he heard a knock on his door and scooted out of bed to answer it and step out into the hall. It was Haymitch, Cinna, Finnick and Gale. The usual gang.

"How's she doing?" Finnick asked. Peeta let out a deep breath and scrubbed his face.

"She's been pretty quiet. She's just waiting for it. She's waiting for the moment that we have to walk down there…and she has to face him…she has to relieve all that again," Peeta said. He crossed his arms and just shook his head. He was so angry.

"This isn't fair. This is so messed up. We're literally just killing her sanity right now. She doesn't even get a chance to heal because we keep shoving her into these dangerous situations," Peeta said, getting worked up. Haymitch shook his shoulder.

"We hear you ok. We get it. We hate it to," Haymitch said. Peeta knew they did. They all loved Katniss. He leaned back against the wall.

"She'll have to come down in a couple of hours," Finnick said sadly. Peeta nodded his head.

"Me and Finnick are gonna be outside with Librae. We sent out a video today of Finnick. Saying that 13 was alive and well after the bombings," Haymitch said, rolling his eyes. Finnick cleared his throat.

"I know…I know what she's going through right now. I was waiting for Annie last time," Finnick said and rubbed his mouth. "We stayed together. And we made those videos for you guys, and we tied a bunch of knots in some rope…I get what she's feeling right now," Finnick said and gulped down his words. Gale's watch beeped then.

"Guess it's show time," Gale said. Haymitch patted him on the back.

"I gotta start getting you guys' camera ready. Come on," Cinna said as he, Haymitch and Finnick left. It was just Gale and Peeta.

"I never got a chance to thank you for saving my life," Peeta said. Gale shook his head.

"I went to win Katniss over. I didn't do it for you," Gale said.

"But you did it, knowing you could die. It doesn't matter your reasons behind it. Thank you," Peeta said, holding his hand out. Gale looked at it. He looked at what Peeta was offering him. He wondered what was going on in Gale's mind. Would he accept that? Or would he just blow it off. He could understand if Gale didn't shake his hand…but what a surprise it was when Gale took it.

"You're welcome," Gale said and pulled his hand back.

"Good luck tonight," Peeta said. Gale nodded and left. Peeta stayed out there for a few minutes. He just needed to collect himself. Before he knew it, they'd be down in Command again, and he had to just stand there, and watch Katniss get tortured again. He was already prepared for her to shut down again. For her to have another episode. They were all preparing for it.

He walked back into their compartment and looked at the bed. His heart was stuck in his throat. She wasn't in their bed. He cleared his throat.

"Katniss. I'm back," he called out, trying to sound normal.

"You can come into the bathroom," he barely heard her say. He walked over to the door and peaked his head in. She was sitting in the tub with her knees up to her chest. He came in and shut the door and bent down to her.

"What made you come in here?" he asked her. She looked over at him, but no words came out. He grabbed the washcloth and started moving it up and down her back. He took his time just washing her. Washing away the past few days.

"I really am broken," she whispered. Her voice startling him. "I'm never gonna get better," she whispered shakily. He turned her body, so she had to look at him.

"Baby yes you will. You'll get better. When this is all over. When we get to live our lives, you'll start to heal. We'll start to heal. We'll take it one day at a time. And I told you this before. And I promise you Katniss, I will put you back together," he told her, willing her to believe him. All he I wanted, all he needed was for her to believe him. He swore on everything that he had, he would put her back together.

"It was all my fault," she whispered and started to cry. "I never should have left you in the arena. I never should have let them separate us. They hurt- they broke you. They broke you to break me and they succeeded. They broke us by taking everything good about you away from me. He broke me," she started to put her head down to cry, but he made her look at him.

"We're not completely broken anymore. We have some those pieces back because we're together, and my body has never had trackerjacker venom in it. They didn't break me this time. There are pieces that are still broken, but we'll be ok. Well put it all back together. I'll put you back together Katniss Everdeen. I promise you," he pulled her hands to him and kissed her hands.

"Please believe me. I promise you. I'll put you back together," he told her. Her shoulders softly shook and he reached over and pulled the plug. He waited for the water to drain and then grabbed a large towel and scooped her into his arms and took her back to bed and just held her.

"I'm so sorry Katniss. I'm sorry that you never get to have a break,"

"I'm so tired," she admitted.

"I know you are sweetheart,"

He heard the knock a couple of hours later. Katniss was still wrapped in her towel. Her eyes opened and she looked up at him. "I'll be right back," he said and moved himself off the bed and opened the door to see Haymitch.

"It's time. We gotta head down there," Haymitch said. Peeta nodded.

"Give us a few minutes…I just have to get her dressed," Haymitch nodded his head, and Peeta shut the door. He wondered if Haymitch had caught on to what he said. He probably shouldn't have said that. But it was Haymitch.

He grabbed some clothes and helped Katniss sit up. She was still holding the towel to her naked body. He bent down in front of her and helped her put her panties on and pull them up under the towel, so he didn't see her. He took her towel away then and tossed it on Johanna's bed.

For such a sad girl, Peeta could still only see a beautiful angel sitting on their bed wearing nothing but underwear. He felt needed, being the one to do this for her.

He helped her get dressed and they walked with Haymitch down to Command.

"I know this is gonna be hard Katniss. We just gotta put on a little show for Coin, and get through talking with Snow, and then you're done for a while. Just get through it," Haymitch told her. She nodded her head and let Peeta guide her.

When they walked in, they saw Librae on the screen, and they watched as the Rescue Mission was taking place. Peeta held her tight to his chest while they listened to Librae.

"President Snow found it amusing, how I'd go back and forth between my Games, and what was happening right in front of me. He loved it. But he wanted more from me. And I wouldn't give it to him…" Librae trailed off and put his head down. After a moment he looked back up. He was crying.

"I wouldn't be this insane person. I didn't want to pretend to be a mentally insane person just for entertainment. I told him; I was already in the Games for the Capitol's entertainment. I was done being on tv. I was done being a celebrity for the Capitol. I wasn't playing his games," he looked over to the side.

Peeta had never head Librae talk about this. He had no idea what to say. He hated every time he heard another Victors story. It was more painful than the next one.

"It's ok Librae. Just take your time," he could hear Ron say.

"Just take a deep breath. Don't let that asshole keep you from telling your story, "He heard Muscida say, and he smiled. There was a collective chuckle around the room. It touched him knowing that Librae didn't go out there by himself.

"I love that woman," Johanna said. Librae took a deep breath and looked back at the camera.

"I came home…and my entire family was dead…I was just another Victor, who tried to say no, and lost everyone he loved," Librae sad and covered his face.

"I had a girl who I was in love with. I loved her so much. And he said that she was next," he cried into his hand. He looked up at the camera.

"So, I pretended to be crazy. I would slip back into my Games all the time. I became a clown to everyone. The Capitol loved it. Snow loved it…but I tried to escape. Me and my girlfriend…we tried to leave. We tried to escape District 4. We hopped the fence and went running. And they caught us a few miles in," He turned sideways, and he saw Ron grab him and pull him back.

"You can do this. Let Panem know what happened," Ron told him.

"Tell them what that cold-hearted, sick, son of a bitch did to her. Don't hold back. Get mad about it," they heard Muscida say. Ron didn't leave Librae's side.

All of a sudden Johanna gasped and she covered her face. Peeta looked at the monitors and saw where their team was. in the Tribute Center, where they had been tortured.

"Get her out of here," Haymitch hissed at Finnick. But Cinna waved Finnick off, wanting him to stay with Katniss. Cinna and Cenia took her out to calm her down. Peeta couldn't even look at the monitor. He never wanted to see that room again.

"They took us to the Capitol. And they made me watch as they tore out her tongue and made her an Avox. Right in front of me. I couldn't do anything but watch. And then they took her away," Librae cried, and Ron pulled him close. They suddenly saw a cane hit Librae.

"Don't you cry right now. Get angry and let it out. Tell them what happened to her. Don't give that rat bastard anymore satisfaction," Muscida said. There was another round of chuckles.

"That's totally gonna be Johanna when she's that age," Finnick laughed.

"Snow's always hated her. She wasn't afraid of him," Haymitch said. Peeta turned to him.

"If she wasn't afraid of him, then why is she still alive?" Peeta asked.

"They had an understanding. If she played the bitch, then he'd leave her alone. She holds up her end, then he didn't fuck her," Haymitch said. Katniss scoffed.

"Isn't she just fucking lucky," Katniss hissed venomously. Peeta didn't think he had ever heard her swear like that before.

"He used her as an Avox for a while. But not as long as I thought he did. She was only alive for a few months. They took a million different pictures and videos of her, so whenever they showed me something, I'd think that it was new. Until a few years ago, Snow laughed at me. He showed me a video of them…brutally killing her," Librae said and then shook his head.

"I've already killed two Careers. You go ahead and kill the others," Librae said and then shook his head again. Ron looked at the camera.

"He doesn't slip in and out of these as often as people think. Usually, it's just in high stress situations. He can go months without doing this, but usually when he's in the Capitol, or during Victory Tours is when he tends to slip in for a moment. Other than that, that's all he does. Snow made him out to be some lunatic for everyone to laugh at," Ron said.

Then it started. The mission was failing. Katniss gasped and tensed up. He grabbed her face and made her look at him. "Just breathe Katniss. Just breathe," he whispered. She was shaking, but she shook her head. They were losing the signal. Haymitch squeezed her hand.

"Broadcast me," she said. Coin turned around and stared at her. "If Snow's watching then maybe he'll let the signal in. If he sees me," she said. Coin just stared at her oddly.

"Put me on the air so he can see me," Katniss said. Coin probably figured she was doing this so Gale would survive. It didn't matter why she was doing it. Katniss was doing this.

"Yes! Yes!" Plutarch said frantically.

"Put her on!" Coin said. They ran around getting it ready, and Katniss started shaking.

"I'm gonna be right in front of you ok. Just take your time. Breathe. I'm right here. And I'm safe. Just. Look. At. Me," he told her. Katniss nodded her head and he kissed her. He stood right next to the camera, so Snow didn't know he was there.

"President Snow," she called out. Katniss called out to him for a minute before they could hear his voice.

"Mrs. Everdeen, what an honor," Snow said. Her body started shaking. Finnick and Haymitch stepped up to stand up with her. Peeta was so grateful for them because he couldn't right now.

"I don't imagine you called me to, thank me for the roses," he said. Katniss just stared at him.

"I... I never asked for this," she said. A tear fell down her cheek. "I never asked to be in the Games. I never asked to be the Mockingjay…All I ever wanted to do was save my sister. And keep Peeta alive," she cried, covering her mouth.

"Please, just let him go," she begged Snow. "Stop hurting him and let him go. I'll stop being the Mockingjay. I'll disappear and you won't have to see me ever again," she sobbed. Haymitch and Finnick held tight to her to keep her standing up. He couldn't get her attention. She couldn't see Peeta anymore. She only saw Snow.

"Mrs. Everdeen. You couldn't run from this, any more than you could have run from the Games," Snow said. She let out another sob.

"Please…You've won. You've already beaten me. Can't you see that? Just release him. Give him back to us. You can take me instead. Just let him go," she sobbed.

"Calm down Katniss," Haymitch told her. Snow just chuckled and shook his head.

"We're long past the opportunity for noble sacrifice," Snow said. Peeta cringed. Is this what she went through? Begging for Peeta's life. Offering herself in his place?

"Then tell me what to do. I've always kept my promises, haven't I? I'll do whatever you want. Whatever you want just let him go," she begged. Finnick and Haymitch were getting panicked looks on their faces.

"You said you didn't want a war. And that's just what happened. I told you what a fragile thing peace was. But still like a child, you took pleasure in breaking it. I know what you are. I know you can't see past your narrowness concerns. But please Mrs. Everdeen, I doubt you know what honesty is anymore,"

"I KNOW WHAT HONESTY IS!" Katniss screamed at him, Haymitch and Finnick holding her tightly.

"Katniss stop this," Finnick told her. Snow just laughed at her.

"You told me all I had to do was convince you I was in love with Peeta. You said to convince you. And I've done that. I am in love with him, and you TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME ANYWAYS!" She screamed again. She was losing it. She was right on the precipice of totally melting down. And he was literally standing there just watching.

"You took him, and you tortured him just to hurt me. You won. You did it. I convinced you and you lied and still hurt him anyways," Snow just laughed at her. Peeta was frantic. He wanted to stop her. He needed to stop her. He couldn't step in front of the camera, or Snow was going to kill them. Gale, Boggs and the rest of the team.

"Mrs. Everdeen, it's the things we love most, that destroy us," he sneered. Her eyes widened.

"No, no, no," she said, covering her mouth. Peeta looked back at the screen to see Snow smiling. This is what he did to her? This is what happened that night?

"I want you to remember that I said that"

Katniss sobbed and shook her head. "No. Please don't do this," she cried.

"Don't you think I know your friends are in the Tribute Center?" Snow asked. Peeta's head whipped around to look back at Katniss. "Cut them off," Snow said, and it went dead.

"He knew it the whole time," Katniss cried and grabbed on to Haymitch. "He knew and he was taunting me. I lost them both tonight," she sobbed. Peeta grabbed her, but it was too late. She fell to the floor screaming.

"I lost them both tonight. I lost them both tonight. He's gonna kill Peeta," she sobbed.

"Katniss please look at me. I'm right here," Peeta told her, trying to shake her. But she wouldn't stop screaming.

"Get a doctor to sedate her. She can't handle this," Coin said.

"Is that your answer to everything? Just sedate her? Because that's really going to help her get better," Haymitch snapped at her.

Nothing Peeta could do though would stop her from screaming. She couldn't even take her hands away from her ears.

"Katniss please, I'm right here. I'm right here," he pleaded. A doctor came in a few minutes later, and Peeta just look at him sadly and sat up so the doctor could sedate her. She crumbled into his arms, and two of the doctors bent down to pick her up.

"Don't touch her," Peeta snapped at them, and held her protectively.

"We need to bring her down to the hospital," one doctor said.

"I'm perfectly capable of carrying her myself," Peeta snapped again. Haymitch and Finnick looked at each other. Peeta wasn't one to snap at anyone, no matter what the circumstance was. Peeta let Haymitch and Finnick easily help him stand up and pick her up in his arms. He carried her down to the hospital so they could keep an eye on her sedation.

He just sat there with his elbows on her bed, just looking at her. "Is that what happened last time?" he asked Peeta. While he was getting rescued, this is the kind of pain she was in.

"Yes," Haymitch answered.

It wasn't until they were rescued from the arena during the Quell the second time that he started to see a different side. He never understood what was going on in 13. He wasn't there. He was in the Capitol. He's now finally seeing where Katniss started breaking. She started mentally deteriorating the second that she blew out the arena.

They either knew what was happening to her, and their hands were tied that they couldn't help her…Like Haymitch, her mom, Prim, Finnick, Gale and Effie…or they saw it and just didn't care. Like Coin. He wondered where Plutarch stood with his feelings towards Katniss.

He wondered if he hadn't of been captured, how she would have made it through. Would she have just gone on as business as usual and still been trying to decide her feelings? Would she have realized her feelings after kissing him on the beach? Would she still have been hiding in closets? Waiting for Peeta?

If she was, he at least could have found her and taken care of her. Katniss didn't have that choice though. None of them ever did.

"Why do we keep doing this to her?" Peeta asked Haymitch. Haymitch just stared at him, defeated. "For everyone else's freedom. But what about hers? When does she get to be free?" he demanded. He scrubbed at his face.

"This is now our fault. We're the ones pushing her, making her do this. It's our faults for making her do it and making her just deal with it. We're the ones to blame. This is on us," Peeta said.

He knew that bothered Haymitch. He already blamed himself for so much. He blamed himself for every bad thing that happened to Katniss and Peeta. He didn't mean to make him feel worse. Haymitch was doing everything he could.

"I'm sorry. It's not how I meant it," Peeta said. he was defeated as well.

They sat there for a couple of hours before Gale poked his head in. They were back. Peeta and Haymitch sat straight up as Gale and Boggs walked in.

"How'd it go?" Peeta asked.

"Just like last time. They let us take Peeta and Johanna. We were able to get Enobaria this time. We couldn't get the Caesar look-a-like though. We only had enough time to get three out again," Gale said.

"Have they woken up yet?" Peeta asked. They nodded.

"Johanna and Enobaria did. Johanna took one look at Finnick and lost it. She tried to kill him, but Finnick's stronger than her. We just didn't expect for this time, Johanna and Enobaria have been hijacked to kill you guys to. It's not just Peeta wanting to kill Katniss anymore. You're all on the kill list," Boggs said. Peeta winced at hearing that. Katniss was on his kill list.

"The fake Peeta just started coming around. Only doctors have been with him, so he's been calm so far," Gale said.

"I wanna see him," Peeta said. They all looked at each other. "I don't want him to see me. I just…I need to see him," Peeta said. Boggs looked to Haymitch, and he just nodded.

"I'll stay here," Gale said. Peeta and Haymitch followed Boggs down the hall to a room to watch…himself. The fake Peeta was pacing around his room, grabbing at his hair.

They didn't understand why Peeta needed to see his doppelganger. He needed to be able to process his time in 13. He was cloudy the entire time after his hijacking. he needed to see what he looked like. He needed to see what Katniss saw. And it broke his own heart as he saw himself.

But it wasn't himself. It was someone who resembled Peeta, that was surgically enhanced to look just like him. He was tortured for no reason. And he was hijacked for no reason.

"Is this how I looked?" Peeta whispered. He heard Haymitch let out a deep breath.

"Yes. Except by this point you had already been knocked out," Haymitch said. Peeta gulped. He had been knocked out because he tried to kill Katniss. He dug his fingers into his eyeballs. He really had tried to kill her. It sickened him.

"Do we know yet who they are? Who he really is?" Peeta asked.

"Katniss…Katniss…where is she?" Peeta's twin whispered to himself as he paced.

"No, we don't. They think they might know who Enobaria is. But it's only a guess. There's no solid proof," Haymitch said. This man looked crazy. His heart was bleeding for him, and Peeta didn't even know him. Katniss was losing herself because she was looking at this exact thing, except she knew that Peeta.

Before he could stop himself, he spun around and threw up into the trash can and then started sobbing. He wasn't crying for himself. He was crying for her. Every day in 13 is what had led to her breaking point.

After he had straightened himself up, they went back to Katniss' room. Haymitch had the door open, while Peeta was getting a drink of water. Gale was walking out, and then he saw Madge round the corner, looking for Gale. Peeta watched as Madge's face changed, and she was relieved when she saw him.

He could tell she was trying to control her steps, but she wanted to run. She wanted to hug him, but then started wringing her hands together.

"You're back. Are you ok?" Madge asked. Gale and Haymitch were standing in the doorway, and she turned her head. "What happened to Katniss? Is she alright?" Madge asked.

"She's fine. They just sedated her to calm her down," Haymitch said as Peeta got to the doorway as well. Madge saw his face, and hers softened.

"What happened? You look terrible," she asked. He smiled at her.

"I'm ok. It's just rough…doing this," Peeta said. He was usually so good with words, but they were failing him lately.

"It's really late. I'll walk you back to your compartment," Gale said to Madge. She waved to them and Peeta walked into the room. He stopped and stepped back, poking his head out and watching Gale and Madge from down the hall.

They had stopped and were facing each other, talking. Then all of a sudden, Madge jumped forward and launched herself at Gale. Throwing her arms around her neck. He just wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him chest. And he buried his face in her neck. It made Peeta smile.

"Bout damn time," Haymitch said. He had poked his head out as well. "She's been staring at him ever since we got here. Been wondering when he was finally just let down his guard. He likes her to," Haymitch said. Peeta turned slightly to look at him.

"You think he does?" Peeta asked. Haymitch nodded his head, and he turned back to watch them. He could tell she was crying, and Gale just held her. After a moment she pulled back, and just looked at the ground and started wiping her face. Gale said something to her, and she looked up at him. He smiled at her and wiped a tear off of her cheek, and then they walked out the doors.

"Finally. I'm sick of him moping around. He's got a beautiful girl right there, who's hopelessly in love with him," Haymitch said as he walked back over to his chair and plopped down. Peeta sat back in his and brought it closer to Katniss' bed again.

"Do you think he feels the same way about her?" Peeta asked.

"He's having a hard time. Being stuck to Katniss so much, pretending to be with her…but he finally gets to be free, like you and Katniss do. He gets to make up his mind and decide how he wants to live his life as well. Everyone watching can see that he likes her,"

"Then why has he waited so long to be with her?" Peeta asked. Haymitch laughed then.

"Seriously? You're honestly asking me that?" Haymitch asked. Peeta had no idea why that sounded so funny.

"Gale is the male version of Katniss," he said. What? "Why did it take her so long to just admit that she had feelings for you, even though we could clearly see it? They're insane, that's why. Neither of them do things that are normal when it comes to human emotions," he laughed at his own joke.

He couldn't help but agree. He'd love to disagree, but it was the honest truth.

He looked over when he realized that Katniss was starting to wake up. He sat up on the bed and took her hands. They had been here so many times before. How many more times would he have to sit on her bedside, holding her hands, waiting for her to wake up from an episode?

"Katniss. I'm right here sweetheart," Peeta told her. She opened her eyes and looked all around and stopped when she looked at Peeta. He smiled down at her.

"Hi," he whispered. He picked his hand up to brush her hair back when her eyes widened as she grabbed at her throat. His hand stopped when he saw the fear in her face.

"HAYMITCH!" Katniss screamed, jumping towards Haymitch, trying to get away from Peeta.

"Katniss it's ok- "but Katniss wouldn't listen to Haymitch.

"Haymitch he's going to kill me," Katniss sobbed. Peeta was stunned for a moment. He knew what was going on now in her head. She was thinking this was when she woke up and realized that Peeta had tried to kill her. He stood up and stepped back. Katniss thought he was trying to kill her.

Peeta was frozen. He couldn't move.

"Katniss stop it. Peeta's not hijacked. He's not trying to kill you," Haymitch pleaded with her. But she grabbed at her head.

"He hijacked Peeta again. He's laughing. He tricked me again. Peeta's been hijacked the whole time. They're both coming after me," she screamed. He! Katniss was talking about Snow. He was talking to her again.

Before he could react, Johanna and Finnick burst through the doors.

"Why is she screaming?" Johanna asked.

"He told me he was waiting for the right moment to release his mutt. He was waiting till I was in 13 to have Peeta kill me. This was all a trick. We never came back. I'm here by myself. I died when I cut my arms. Peeta's dead," Katniss cried.

They heard someone yell that they'll need to sedate Katniss Everdeen again.

"Don't let them in here. They're not sedating her again. This is only gonna happen when she wakes up again. I can get her out of this," Peeta said. Haymitch went around to the door to lock them out, while Finnick and Johanna stood in front of it. Peeta could hear them arguing.

Peeta walked over and crouched down in front of Katniss.

"Katniss," he whispered, and she let out a sob and rocked herself back and forth.

"Peeta's gonna kill me. I'm all alone," she cried.

"No Katniss, I'm not,"

"You won. Please just let me go. You won. You beat me. I'm broken. I have no one else. I'm not the Mockingjay anymore. I'm all alone. Please leave me alone," she was talking to Snow. He put his hands on her shoulders.

"Katniss. Listen to the sound of my voice. Don't listen to Snow. You tell Snow to stop talking to you," Peeta told her. She just kept crying.

"Katniss tell Snow to stop talking to you. Tell Snow to leave you alone. Tell him to go away," Peeta told her.

"He won't go away Peeta," she cried.

"You need to tell him," Peeta told her, shaking her a little.

"Go away. Please go away," she cried.

"Louder Katniss. I want you to scream it at him. And don't stop until he shuts up!" Peeta told her.

"GO AWAY, GO AWAY, GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE, STOP TALKING TO ME, STOP TALKING TO ME, GET AWAY FROM ME!" She screamed so loud until it took her breath away. He could hear the pounding on the door, and he could hear Johanna screaming at them. But he drowned it all out. He just focused on her.

"Katniss," he whispered her name. She was crying and looked up at him. "Please baby. I'm right here. Just focus on me," he said, holding her face. After a moment her eyes came back into focus. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Peeta," she breathed. He pulled her to his chest and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm right here Katniss. You're gonna be ok," he whispered. He nodded at Haymitch, and he opened the door. There was a whirlwind of doctors and their friends that came through the door all at one time. He looked at them over her head.

"She's fine now. I'm gonna give her a minute, and then I'm taking her back to my compartment," Peeta told them.

"We need to check Mrs. Everdeen out- "one of the female doctors said, but Peeta interrupted her.

"No, you don't. You sedated her. She came out of sedation and she's having an episode. There's nothing that you can do for her. I'm the only one that can do anything for her. So, I'm giving her a few minutes, and then I'm taking her back to our compartment," Peeta told them. Dr. Smolts stood in front of them.

"Mr. Mellark. There are protocols and procedures. She's in our care right now. So, you won't be taking her anywhere until we exam her and make sure that she's fit to leave. And right now, I don't see that she's fit to leave at all," Dr. Smolts said. Peeta and him had a stare off that was interrupted by laughter.

Peeta looked to see Haymitch, Finnick and Johanna laughing.

"Oh, that's so cute. This idiot thinks that Katniss is gonna stay here," Johanna laughed.

"Why don't we go get our friends again. Apparently, this asshole thinks that he gets to decide anything for Katniss. That just makes me laugh," Haymitch laughed, shaking his head. Finnick just smiled, and Johanna excused herself. Boggs came in a moment later.

"If Peeta's taking Katniss out of here, then stand down. No doctors are to get in the way of Everdeen's treatment. She's Cenia's patient, and Cenia's decision is to let Peeta make the call," Boggs told Dr. Smolt.

"Ha ha," Johanna said. Finnick laughed and wrapped his arm around Johanna.

"Why does this guy always go against us?" Finnick joked, asking Johanna.

"I don't know. He likes getting his balls kicked? A little foolish though. He hasn't figured out that Victor's always win!" Johanna said. Dr. Smolts face turned red and then he stormed out of the room.

Katniss just shook in his arms, and Haymitch and Finnick helped Peeta stand her up and pick her up into his arms. "I'll take you home sweetheart," Peeta said sadly, and took her back to their compartment. He sat her down on the toilet and filled up the bathtub and then he helped her get undressed and into the tub.

He went to work on washing her hair first. Is this what the rest of their lives were going to be like? Katniss feeling like this every day for the rest of her life? That was no way to live. These episodes were tearing both of them down more and more, every time she had one. She was exhausted. He was exhausted.

Not in the sense that he felt like he couldn't take care of her. Or that he would stop. What was making him exhausted was the pain that she was in. He would take care of her until his last dying breath. But it just broke his heart by the fact that he had to do this. She shouldn't have to live her life like this.

"I'm scared," Katniss whispered. Her voice shook him out of his thoughts.

"What are you afraid of?" he asked her softly, running his hand up and down her back.

"Of being stuck in my head. And never being able to get back out again," she started trembling. He reached his hand out to her chin and made her look at him.

"Katniss don't ever think that. I promise you; I will never let you get stuck in your head. I will always pull you back to me. I promise you Katniss," he pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly.

"I'll never give up on you. I'll never let you stay stuck in your head. I promise you; I'll always lead you back to me," he told her as he kissed her over and over again. Her cheeks, her temple. Her eyes, chin, nose, her lips. All over her face. "As long as I have breath in my body, I'll always take care of you,"

They stayed like that for a while until Peeta got her out. He dried her off and put her to bed. He held her there on his chest. He couldn't stop thinking about watching his twin just pace the room. He looked deranged. It broke something in him…he knew it broke something in her to. He was finally starting to see where she had cracked when she was here. He was finally starting to see it…and it was breaking his heart.

"Finnick was in shock," Katniss said suddenly. He looked down and realized that she was still awake. He thought she had fallen asleep. "When Haymitch said you were back, he was in shock. So, I grabbed his hand…and I pulled him to the hospital," she whispered. He wouldn't say a word. She needed to talk.

"I couldn't understand why I was so jealous of when Finnick and Annie saw each other again. But I get why now. Because I wanted that exact same reunion with you." she whispered. He knew what was coming. But he had to be strong for her right now. This was not the part he liked to remember, and he could feel her shaking, and she started crying.

"Boggs said you were here, and I kept thinking, You're safe. You're with me. I can touch you, and see you smile and hear your laugh. And that you'll be kissing me. I wondered if those kisses would feel like the kisses we had on the beach. And when I saw you...I knew I was going to get that reunion that Finnick and Annie had. With kisses and hugs. And I knew. For that split second, I knew Peeta. Without a doubt. I chose you." she cried. He cried with her. Silently of course. He had tears down his face. He didn't run to embrace her. He ran and tried to kill her. He choked her.

"He took the one last piece of hope I had left in this world…and he killed it," she cried into his chest.

He had his own tears fall down his face. He tried to forget that moment that he saw her again. He tried so hard to forget it. But it's what haunted his nightmares. He could have killed her with his bare hands.

He squeezed her tighter. "I'm so sorry. I'm so…I'm so sorry," he cried. They laid like that for a while. Just relieving their reunion, over and over again in their heads.

"I couldn't ask any questions. Prim asked everything for me as I just laid there once I woke up," she whispered to him.

"I felt myself shutting down. I felt stupid. I cared for you, and you were taken away from me. Just like my father. Just like Rue and Cinna. You were standing right in front of me, but you were further away than any of them. I felt so stupid for caring about you." she cried. That sent a knife through his heart. She chose him, and had he not been hijacked, they would have been together.

"And at that moment, I chose not to care about anyone anymore. Prim, my mom, Haymitch, Gale and his family, Effie, Finnick…I couldn't add anyone else. I wasn't going to care about anyone else. I never would open up to anyone else. You were dead to me, just like my dad and Cinna," she sobbed.

"He knew what I would do if you didn't kill me. I would abandon you. He knew it. I just left you there to die in 13," He pulled her up to look at him.

"Don't cry. Please don't cry anymore. I don't care about what happened. It's not important. What happens from now is all that I care about. He played games with us. He's the one who tried to keep us apart. And he didn't win. We're together right now," Peeta said and pulled her back to his chest.

"I got you Katniss. I have you, and I'm not letting you go. I'm not hijacked. I'm ok," he repeated his until she fell asleep. He dug his fingers into his eyeballs. He was thankful he wasn't hijacked anymore. Because he was going to need every ounce of his sanity to be there for her.

"The oatmeal is terrible," Peeta said as he shivered from the taste. He and Katniss were eating their breakfast in their compartment. Annie and Madge had shown up that morning with their trays. He was so thankful for their friends and family. They really did take care of Peeta and Katniss so much.

Katniss was a little more alert. She was dazed, but that was normal.

"I'm pretending it tastes like pineapple," Katniss said. Peeta snorted and looked up at her.

"Why pineapple?" he chuckled. It was such a strange thing to pick, of everything she could pretend she was eating. She just shrugged her shoulders.

"It's the first least offending thing I could think of," she said, and he watched her shiver as well. She pushed her tray away. "I can't eat that foul mush anymore," Katniss complained.

"I agree," Peeta said. Before they could say anything else, there was a knock at their door, and he watched Prim walk in. "Hey Prim," he said. She smiled and walked in and hugged Katniss.

"Hi. I just wanted to check up on you. I wanted to stay with you for a few hours," Prim said to Katniss. She smiled at Prim.

"I'd like that," Katniss said. Prim looked over at Peeta.

"Haymitch wanted me to come get you. He wanted to talk to you for a while. He's down in Command," Prim said. Katniss and Peeta just looked at each other. He stood up and bent down to kiss Katniss.

"I'll be back later," Peeta said. She nodded her head and he squeezed Prim's shoulder as he left. He knew if Haymitch was sending Prim to get him, and for her to stay with Katniss, it was important. He just hoped whatever was happening, that it wouldn't make Katniss get worse. She was still on the downside of her episode. She just needed to get back up a little. He didn't want her to have to deal with something again so soon.

Finnick caught up with him and redirected him down to the hospital. Past it actually, where he knew that they were keeping the doppelgangers. He saw Haymitch right away. "So, what's going on?" Peeta asked, rubbing his eyes. He was already tired, and the day was just starting.

"Well, we already know the Johanna doppleganger was hijacked to kill Katniss, but also me. Haymitch went in there and she flipped out. So, we're thinking that it's all Victors that she's set out to destroy. Same with Enobaria. She took one look at me and went absolutely crazy," Finnick said.

"We're going to try a few different things. We want to send someone in with your twin. There's been no mention of Katniss to him. Only 13 doctors have seen him. We want to see his reaction to someone that isn't a Victor, but is close to you," Plutarch said. Peeta shook his head.

"God, I have a headache," he mumbled and then looked back up. "Who are you sending in?"

"Me," he whipped around and saw Ryee.

"You're not going in there," Peeta said, not even hesitation.

"He's the best person Peeta," Haymitch said.

"Plutarch wanted to send dad," Ryee said. Peeta's eyes bugged out of his head, and he went to spin around to freak out on Haymitch, but Ryee stopped him. "Every single one of us shot that down. Stop it," Ryee told him. Peeta was seething.

"What's the point of sending my brother in. We already know that that's not me. He's not getting near any of us. There's no point in sending any of us in there," Peeta said.

"Because maybe we can find out who they are," Ryee said. Peeta just stood there. He forgot. For one moment he forgot that they were people. He kept thinking that their Doppelgangers were just weapons. He needed to remember, they were real people, who had been kidnapped by Snow, and made to think that they were Peeta, Johanna, Enobaria, and even Caesar. He had a passing thought, wondering if there were any other Doppelgangers of any other Victors.

"Wheet couldn't stomach going in there," Ryee said, looking down at his feet.

"What if he goes to attack you?" Peeta asked.

"One of my good ole trackers are inside each of them. If he goes to attack anyone, then the tracker will stun him," Beetee said as he walked into the room. Peeta nodded his head.

"Send him in," Plutarch said. They sat behind the glass mirror and watched as Ryee stepped into the room. Peeta's twin turned around and stared at him.

"Hi Peeta," Ryee said, stepping into the room. Peeta stared at him. Trying to figure out where he knew him from. "It's me. Ryee," he said. But his twin just kept staring at him.

"Your brother," Ryee said. Peeta watched as his twin's eyes widened, and then shook his head. He backed himself into a wall.

"No…no you're…you're not my brother. My brother died. Katniss bombed my family's bakery. No, my family's dead," Peeta said.

"No, I'm right here Peeta," Ryee said, but his twin shook his head.

"No, no, no, no. Katniss is a mutt. She killed my family!" he cried.

Peeta started to have flashbacks from the trackerjacker venom images he was shown of his family dying. Being burnt to death while Katniss laughed-

Peeta abruptly stood up and ran out of the room and threw up in the garbage can. He dry heaved for a moment and then covered his face. He had broken out into a cold sweat. Oh God, those images. They were his nightmare fuel. He couldn't listen to this.

He went back to his room and practically ran past Katniss and Prim and into the bathroom. He turned the water on as hot as could and jumped underneath it to get the shiny images out of his head.

He knew they weren't real. But they were an actual image living in his head. It tortured him, knowing that Snow made him believe this to be true.

"Peeta?" he heard Katniss. He couldn't see her because of the shower curtain, and he was glad for that. He looked like a weak little kid. He looked like…like what that boy who was pretending to be him, looked like.

Snow tortured someone into thinking they were Peeta. That was someone else's son in that room.

"Peeta, are you ok?" Katniss asked, her voice breaking at the end. He wiped at his face. He needed to be strong for her. He couldn't break down when she needed him. She needed him to be strong, so he needed to stay strong.

He cleared his throat and shut off the water and opened the curtain slightly. She was leaning against the counter holding a towel but looking down at the floor.

"I didn't mean to scare you…I just had to take a minute," Peeta told her. She looked up at him and smiled softly, and then held the towel out for him. He took it from her and pulled the curtain shut and wrapped it around his waist and then stepped out of the shower.

Katniss still looked dazed. Of course, she would be. She just had a really bad episode the day before.

"Are you sure you're ok?" she asked. He smiled and leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Yes I am. I literally just needed a minute. My head was spinning. I didn't mean to worry you," he told her and brushed some hair out of her face. She was biting her lip. She was nervous. He made her nervous, with him running right past her.

"Really?" she asked him. He kissed her again.

"Yes. Why don't we go lay back down," Peeta said as he slid the door opened. He was startled a little to see Prim still there. She was standing nervously by the door.

"Sorry, let me get dressed," Peeta said as he grabbed some clothes and went back into the bathroom, and then came right back out. "Did you have a nice morning?" he asked them. Katniss nodded her head and sat on the bed.

"Haymitch knocked on the door right when Katniss went into the bathroom," Prim said.

"Is he here?" Peeta asked. She shook her head.

"He said that Coin was calling a meeting and that she wanted everyone there…he said that you both should be there," Prim said. Katniss and Peeta looked at each other. Haymitch always delivered the message that Coin wanted Katniss there, but the only time Haymitch actually asked for them to be there, especially Katniss, was when it was actually needed. He didn't like the sound of this.

"He said I should even come," Prim whispered. That's what made him really worried.

The three of them headed down to Command. It was the first time that Prim had been to one of these Command meetings. He had no idea what Coin could want with Prim there.

"You're probably wondering what this is all about," Coin addressed everyone. "With Peeta now being able to show his face in 13, I want the first time that they see Peeta to be tomorrow. I want Katniss and Peeta to get married,"