A/N: Gomen, Sorry, Je regret, and uh….apologies in any other language you may speak for not updating this sooner! I feel horrible, but real life has this way of coming in and taking over. I actually had half of this written out last week and the plan was to post over the weekend, but in a moment of idiocy, I closed Word and when the little pop up came up asking if I wanted to save, I said no. Because I am as baka as my name suggests! Anyway:

Disclaimer: Yami no Matsushita, Yami not mine.

Tsuzuki stared contented at sandy-haired angel asleep in his arms. Though his stomach rumbled incessantly, he couldn't bring himself to leave the bed.

"Mmm...Tsuzuki, if you're hungry then just go eat breakfast," Hisoka mumbled, his eyelashes fluttering open to reveal sleep-misted emerald eyes.

"I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful, like an angel."

Blushing, Hisoka looked at the clock.

"Tsuzuki! It's almost noon! Everyone's probably wondering where we are."

"Shhh," Tsuzuki wrapped his arms tighter around his partner. "I've been checking in with Tenku, no one is awake yet. In fact, Watari's potion certainly made for some strange bedfellows all around."

Hisoka rolled his eyes and was about to make a comment when he realized what that could mean for him.

"Tsuzuki," he began cautiously, "last night...we...were we under the influ..."

The slight pressure of Tsuzuki's lips against his cut off his words.

"I wasn't. I meant what I said. I love you, Hisoka. I love you more than anything and I want to be with you forever."

Hisoka choked back an emotional sob at the flood of emotions that flowed freely from Tsuzuki, validating his words with unspoken promise.

"I love you too, Tsuzuki. I always will."

For several minutes they laid in bed holding each other until Tsuzuki stirred.

"Hey, Hisoka, I'm a little hungry."
"Then go get something to eat."

Tsuzuki rolled Hisoka onto his stomach and stretched out on top of him.

"I never said I was hungry for food. I want something sweeter."

Needless to say, neither Tsuzuki nor Hisoka made it to breakfast or lunch.

Tatsumi awoke to the realization that something was very different this morning, many something's. For one thing, the clock on the bedside table informed him that it was not quite still morning. Tatsumi never slept past 6am, even on the weekends. The customary tension headache that he come to realize was synonymous with waking was absent. In fact, all of his muscles were relaxed, well used, but relaxed. As if the night before he had a vigorous work out. He was not wearing his starched navy blue grandpa pajamas either. This made it all the more obvious to him that he was not in his own bed because rather than discount store, 100 thread count bedding, he was engulfed in a blanket of heavenly golden silk that wrapped itself tighter around him, writhing suggestively.

Blankets do not writhe suggestively.

Tatsumi blinked down at the cascade of golden hair across his chest and the long lean body of the man it belonged to, smiling. For the first time in his life, and afterlife, Tatsumi Seiichiro was looking forward to the day. And the next, and the next after that. Watari stirred, lifting his head, which caused his hair to slide across Tatsumi's chest, sending shivers though out his body.

"Tell me I'm not dreaming." He slurred sleepily, snuggling closer to Tatsumi, if that was even possible.

"If you're not then I am," Tatsumi whispered, curling his arms protectively around the golden-haired beauty as if he'd vanish at any minute. Watari sighed contented and leaned up to brush a light kiss across Tatsumi's jaw line.

"Can we stay like this forever?"

"Probably not," Tatsumi smirked, "We'd get bedsores and eventually one of us would have to get up to pee."

Watari sat up in astonished amusement.

"Tatsumi Seiichiro, you did not just say the word pee!"

"Indeed I did. Now get back here, I said we can't stay like this forever, but I for one am not ready to get out of bed, are you?"

Needless to say, Tatsumi and Watari did not get out of bed at a respectable hour either.

And so it was well into the afternoon before any of the partygoers decided to assemble themselves in the dining hall for brunch, or was it brinner at that hour?

Though there were many strange sights to behold, no one was about to point out anything anomalous about anyone else's appearance lest they be the target of scrutiny next. That is, of course, until Byakko came bounding into the room wearing what could only be described as two straps of flimsy red vinyl and a pair of red platform fuck-me-boots. As conversations came to an abrupt stop and the clacking of plates and utensils ceased, the streetwalker, I mean, Shikigami, looked around at everyone else and put his hands on his hips.

"Well? Does this color not totally bring out my eyes or what?" The tiger swished his way across the room at sat down next to his friend, Kijin.

"Byakko?" the boy started, trying not to actually look his friend in the eye, "Uh, should I call you mom now?"
Soryuu choked on his scone. Byakko grinned wickedly.

"Sure! I always wanted kids!"

A very hung over Tenko stumbled over to Byakko and sat in his lap.

"You look like a cheap hooker, mom."

And with that the conversations lit up again, and people were not afraid to say what had been on their mind all morning.

"Saya, there are white feathers in your hair. Yuma, you got some sticking out of your underwear too."

"No, Touda, I'm pretty sure that you had the black robe on last night, that one looks an awful lot like Suzaku's."

"Something wrong brother?"
"Yeah, I don't think these are my underwear."

"Well of course they're not, I'm wearing yours."

"Are these yours then?"

"No, I know I do not have any underwear from Pink House."

"It doesn't take an empath to know the JBF glow, Bon."

"Damn, Terazuma, I thought you'd mellow out after getting laid, OW!"

Meanwhile, deep in the belly of the earth, far below Tenku's foundation, the gnomes that mine the land (because everyone knows that gnomes mine the land) has just unearthed a present from the gods of the land above.

"What's this?" The gnome leader cried, running an appraising hand along the smooth side of the glass bottle.

"'Tis mead!" The gnome worker cried, "'Tis a gift of the gods!"

"Then at once! We should imbibe in this heavenly gift of drink. The corkscrew at once!"

"Eh, Gnome Leader, should mead be this shade of green?"
"Eh? Not that I've seen before. But! This is mead of the gods! It can be any color the gods wish it to be!"

"YAY!" cried the gnomes, holding their flasks under the stream of green liquid.

"Bottom's up lads!"
BOOM!

A thick cloud of green vapor descended on the unconscious gnomes. After some time, the vapor lifted, revealing things to be not quite as they were.

"Eh? Gnome leader? I feel funny. Gnome leader?"
"Yes, and you look funny too!"

"As do you!"
"Hey who are all of these women?"
"What are you talking about? You're a woman too!"

"What?"

Alas, poor Watari was oblivious to the fact that turpentine and India ink, while not so much a love potion, were the key ingredients in Super Strength Sex Change Potion #9.

The End.

Okay so it ended very silly. I'll try harder next time I promise! Finally, I want to thank the totally awesome people who reviewed this story. 28 reviews and not a single one of them flames! Woohoo! Special mentions:

Thelastunicorn: Byakko in the hooker outfit was for you. In fact, have Byakko, he's house-trained. Byakko comes with many other fashionable outfits from the Pink House fall catalogue including the frilly pink number mentioned previously in the story and of course, a French maid outfit (Instant cos-play Byakko ™ even comes with his own tail and ears!).

Amethyst-eyed Koneko: It's not often that a review can be more entertaining than the story itself, but yours are great! And of course, you get kitty treats! Yay-uh, huh? Oh, I'm so sorry then. Hisoka informs me that he is NOT a kitty treat. But Tsuzuki is entranced by your eyes. He thinks he's seen eyes like yours before, but he can't remember where. Hisoka rolls his eyes. Okay, you can keep them, Tsuzuki and Hisoka also come with inu and neko cos-play accessories and you get one very special Pink House outfit of your choosing for Hisoka just because he was being so mean (Take that Hisoka! Nyah!)

Rhea-samma: For being there to review all the chapters and even more so for being there writing some awesome Tatari of your own, I thank you much! Of course for you I have front row seats to the hot new musical hitting the nation: Yutaka And the Night of 1000 Yukatas, starring Watari Yutaka! Tatsumi of course will be your date for the evening. Please do use them as inspiration for future Tatari fics because I am an addict!

Kuramasdarkside: Another Tatari enthusiast, I thank you! You get tickets to the latest rock opera that's sweeping the nation: Spandex Rhapsody, the Watari Yutaka Story. Tatsumi will be your date as well, but don't be surprised if he hides from the paparazzi. Please write more because again, I just can't get enough Tatari and I do so love your 80's rock god type portrayal of Watari (probably because I'm old enough to remember that stuff, ugh!).

evilfrogger86: For you I have a very special game. It's just like Wack-a-Mole, but it's a home version called Wack-a-Psycho. It comes with Muraki and a giant mallet. Tsuzuki said he'd love to come over and play it with you. Don't worry, Muraki comes with an unlimited supply of clean white suits, in case you get the first ones all bloody.

And to everyone else who reviewed, I feel like I'm slighting you by not replying personally so please know that I thank you all too!!!! And now, as promised, the bonus (which refers back to the vacation issue of the manga when Saya and Yuma are introduced):

Saya and Yuma star in:

Squeezing the fruit:

It's a typical day, Tsuzuki and Hisoka are sitting in their office when suddenly noises can be heard from out in the hall.

"Dammit Saya! Didn't I tell you to stop squeezing the fruit?"

"Yeah, but how am I gonna know if it's good if I don't?"

"I dunno, but how come you've got 2 melons and all I got are kiwis?"

Tsuzuki's eyes pop, Hisoka rolls his eyes and prays they aren't headed his way.

"Well I raised them until they were just right for plucking. Hey, have you seen my banana?"

"You have a banana? I thought you had a peach?"

"Yeah I did but Watari switched it for me. I'm going to give my banana to Hisoka."

"I don't think Hisoka want's a banana, why didn't you keep your peach?"

"Geeze, everyone knows Hisoka won't eat a peach, but he'd take the whole banana."

"Only if it was Tsuzuki giving him the banana."

Hisoka is frightened. Tsuzuki has a nosebleed.

"Well there's nothing wrong with my banana, I would know if Watari tampered with it. Besides, he was much more interested in his own melons when I left. He just got them this morning."

"Damn it! You mean even Watari has melons? And I'm stuck with kiwis!"

"It's okay, Tsuzuki loves kiwis!"

"Oh good, they won't go to waste then. Well, what are we waiting for!"

The girls open the door to the girlish screams of Tsuzuki and Hisoka as they cling to each other in fear. Saya almost drops the basket of fruit she's carrying. Yuma just stands in the doorway shaking her head. "Told you they'd get the wrong idea. I win, hand over the yen!"

End

ACK! Bad humor! So sorry, It couldn't be helped, I've had that stupid little bit in my head forever!