Ch. 14: A Short Commercial Break!
W.W.- Here's a short commercial break from the story! Just... a... bit of... insanity... or something... probably boredom...
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Sky was walking through some woods, and they suddenly developed faces.
"Cargoborlac!" They said to her, and chainsaws rained from the heavens as the trees transformed from trees into jell-O and back again. She picked up a chainsaw and started hacking away at the biggest tree. It took her a minutes of this to realize that the chainsaw had turned into a herring, and so wasn't doing much damage to the tree. Annoyed, she dropped the smelly fish and bent to pick up a new chainsaw. Starting it up, she turned back to the tree...
To find that it had become the Burger King Guy. Screaming, Sky dropped the chainsaw and ran from the King, who was holding out a sandwich. He chased after her, sandwich in hand, insisting in that smiling, silent way of his that she eat his damn sandwich or die. Finally, Sky could run no further, and turned around to face the Burger King, wishing she hadn't dropped the saw. He took a step forward; she took a step back. Step forward; step back. Then the herring flew down on a washing machine.
"For sparing my life, I will grant you one wish." She told her.
"I wish you were a machine gun with an endless supply of bullets!" Sky cried, and the herring made a funny face of horror, and because said machine gun. Picking it up, Sky yelled, "Eat lead, Burger Freak!" and fired. When he finally stopped walking and fell over, Sky crept toward the body; it didn't move. The sandwich had disappeared. She pulled off the mask, and underneath it was
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W.W.- I had argued with myself over just stopping right here, but then I thought, 'Do I really want to be that mean?' One of my voices answered, 'Hell yes you do!'. Another one spoke up. 'No! You want to add that one idea!' 'Why do you even care?' spoke one of the depressed voices. 'It doesn't matter.' I told it, 'You've been preaching that since I was three. Would you just shut up now?' He grumbled a bit and went off into his corner. ANYWAY, I continued!
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some clown.
"Ha-ha-ha-hey! I'm Ronald McDonald, and I-"
"DIE CLOWN!" Sky shot him in the head, and the Ronald McDonald mask shattered. Underneath it was
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W.W.- I could stop here too...
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a four leaf clover. Sky picked it up, and it started talking.
"You have defeated my strongest warriors, and for that I will tell you the secret." It raised its eyebrows, and widened its eyes. "He is coming."
"Who? Who is he?"
"He is the one who never stops, not even to go to the bathroom."
"Ew... he has to smell bad."
"Yes he does. You have been warned." The clover faded away.
"Yeah, that's a great warning." Sky muttered. "Can't even tell me anything..."
(Thump thump)
"What was that?" Sky shouted, leaping to her feet.
(Thump thump thump) She started to panic.
(Thump thump thump thump thump thump Times 4 to the square root of pi)
"That was a weird thump."
(THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP)
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W.W.- Or here...
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The Energizer Bunny leapt from the treetops, banging on that drum as hard as he could! He landed right in front of Sky, his back to her, and abruptly... stopped. The silence was ominous. It's head turned around, a complete 180 degrees, and stared insanely at Sky.
"Are you human?" It ground out in a freakishly high pitched voice.
"I... I think so." Its face contorted horribly, growing fangs and drooling large American SUVs as it grew to the size of a planet.
"DIE!" It screamed, and dove for her.
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W.W.- And the kicker...
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Sky woke up.