Bad Hand

By mkusenagi2

The story concept © 5-19-2006
All Marvel characters are © Marvel Comics.
Kim Possible and other characters
from the show are © Disney Co.
I don't own Dark Horse Comics'
characters either.

Part IV

9-24-2006
The Mano Malo
Bermondsey Docks
Bermondsey Parish
London, England
The Kitchen
0915 hrs

Ron Stoppable was in his element and would NOT be DENIED…

He was attempting to put together the ultimate breakfast to please his lover AND the woman of his dreams…

However it's kinda hard to do that when they're not the one and the same woman…

And they're in the same room comparing notes…

Then too…

It gets kinda hard when you're a guy and think about the possibilities…

"So have you ever watched him while he sleeps Princess?" a mischievous Sheila Sherman asked.

"Yeah…" Kim replied, "He looks adorable… cute and vulnerable at the same time."

"He looks that way now with a sexy flair… it's the arm and the hair that do it…" Sheila said with a wink.

"So is he still afraid of monkeys?" Kim asked with a wicked gleam in her eye.

"No… Ron helped rescue a dignitary from Senegal and learned he liked monkey meat… Once he cooked one for the guy it was over… He hasn't done it since…" Sheila.

"Rufus… wouldn't have approved if I had butchered it too… I felt bad after cooking it… I talked to Strange about it and asked him to do a hunter's ritual to appease its spirit…"

"Why?" Kim quietly asked.

"By that time I had seen enough to KNOW there's more to the world than science… besides the Monkey Power shut down too… afterwards though it came back stronger than ever…" he said as he began to pour the waffle batter while watching the ham slowly simmer in the skillet.

"Oh… Um… Who put me to bed?"

"…" "I did." Ron replied as he turned the ham's burner to low, "Sheila's versed in magics, but she hasn't reached total mastery yet. I had to double check to make sure you were clean… the spell requires that you be skyclad… uh, nude…"

"Really!" Kim replied with a fiery spark in her eyes.

"Yeah. I gotta tell ya Kim I'm glad you're clean… I couldn't bear to lose you. The taint does horrible things to people…"

"'K." Kim.

"Course I'm also glad you're not tainted since it'd wreck that beautiful bod you've got…"

"WHAT!" Kim thundered while Sheila smirked.

"Oh Yeah! You've GOT it goin' on… I Looked after I was done… That's kinda… all… And I'm GLAD I did… You're one HELL of a fine lookin' woman… Everything's in the right places…"

"You… … Wha… I…" Kim sputtered, turning Nova Red, while Sheila grew a laughing shark's grin.

"I like the dimples you have right above your ass… Those I kissed… couldn't help myself… Sorry."

"!" 'He kissed me there… and I missed it… AND HE'S SORRY?'

"KP?"

"yes?" Conflicted Kim. Grinning Sheila.

"I apologize… for taking such a liberty… I'll NEVER do it again." Sorry Wolf's eyes.

"Ron… It's ok… I…" 'He saved me… Do I have a chance? I…' "Just the next time it happens I want to be awake for it. Capise!" 'What the hell's happening?'

"Sure!" Ron turned back to the stove and resumed cooking…

Sheila winked at Kim and motioned for her to go to Ron. 'They've waited long enough!' she thought. ''Sides I've waited a loooong time to see the Princess vulnerable like this!'

Kim thought about it a bit, summoned up her nerve, and crept behind Ron. Sheila left the kitchen…

"Ron." A blushing Kim said.

"YOW! Don't sneak up on Bad Hand while he's Cookin'…" Ron said as he spun around and gently bumped his nose into Kim's. "Uh… What's up kp?"

"I just wanted to thank you for being my night in shining armor again…" She said as she KISSED him.

FIREWORKS!

Afterwards…

"That's the BEST reward I've EVER got…" Ron gasped.

"I heard THAT!" Sheila.

"Uh… I mean…" Ron sputtered.

"It's ok… I'm just glad you were there… So whatcha makin'?" Kim asked as Sheila walked into the kitchen and sat at the table.

"Let's see… Irish pinhead oats… Apple Pecan waffles… Scrambled eggs with English Cheddar… Maple ham… and hash browns… Oh yeah I forgot,' Ron said as he pulled a pan out of the oven, placed it on the stovetop, grabbed a tongs, and pulled a sausage out of the pan, "Anyone want a spotted dick?" Ron said with a straight face.

"Uh…" Kim was speechless.

"How about you KP," Ron said as he waved the sausage under her nose. "Wanna bite?"

"…"

"…"

"HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!" all three of them roared.

---

After they finished the meal Ron had prepared the three of them started to catch up…

"So how'd you know where to look?" Ron asked Kim.

"Uh… don't yell at them… 'k?" Contrite Kim.

Ron looked at Sheila, who nodded her approval. "'K."

"Cap, Strange, and Namor told me that I could possibly find you… That is Bad Hand at Roxxon's London research facility… I checked the best route for breaking into that building and waited… the rest is history."

"I KNEW IT! I TOLD YOU we couldn't expect them to keep quiet about this! Who ELSE did they tell?" Sheila griped.

"Hold on. I'm sure they were coerced into it… WEREN'T THEY KIM?"

"…" "Yeah… I used the Pout… on Namor… Cap felt guilty 'cause he saw me cry… Strange knew I feared the worst, so he told me. I'm sorry… it's just that… I missed you." Kim quietly said.

"No problem KP. It wasn't like I'd made myself accessible anyway… Although I DID keep an eye on you… Like the time AIM tried to have you assassinated… I just used some chaos magics to drill that assassin…"

"So THAT'S how she died… we wondered how she could have died from slipping and shooting herself on that building's roof when it was a high traction surface…"

"…"

"Ron, what happens when a Shadow taints someone?" Kim.

"…" "They get turned… into a demon… a thrall… a vampire or… worse." Grim Ron.

"Vampire?" Incredulous Kim. 'Worse?'

"Yeah Princess… I've SEEN it… but they're NOT like Dracula… You might get to meet him later…" Jaded Sheila.

"Wait… THE… Dracula… Prince of Vampires… you KNOW him? He's got to be at least…" Kim.

"575 years old…" Sheila.

"He's a Defender… he DOES eat (if you want to call 'em that) people… scumbags… the worst of the worst…" Ron said.

"Ron…" Kim started.

"Well, the last time I talked to him he said he'd try to just settle for raiding bloodbanks… but who knows how long that'll last…" Ron mused.

"Ron how could you…"

"At least he's not eating innocents anymore… The Ancient One 'cured' him of that YEARS ago." Sheila said, "He's quite the gentleman too, as long as you behave yourself."

"Kim, I don't make the rules… I just do whatever I can to save people… sometimes I HAVE to break the rules… I don't like it but there it is." The Wolf replied.

"'k. … So why didn't you use your magics to break into the complex?" Kim.

"The place is loaded with wards," Sheila replied, "Plus he wanted to practice his skills as a thief."

"So what'd you find?" Kim asked. 'Thief!'

Ron reached into a pocket and pulled out a memory stick. "This has everything I could glean for their main computer… the stick's holographic, and we were planning to take it to Dr. Richards to get it analyzed."

"No big… Wade can check the data… That is if you want him to." Kim said. "So where's my Kimmunicator?"

Ron pulled it out of his other pocket and handed it to her along with the stick.

"Thanks." Kim called Wade.

"What up Kim?" Wade replied.

"Uh, first off… I found Ron… That is he found me…"

"THAT'S GREAT! HOW?"

"I'll fill you in later… I need some data analyzed STAT." Kim said as she plugged the stick into the unit.

"I'm on it! Wade Out!"

"Sooo… How'd you two hook up?"

"Well…" Ron and Sheila chimed.

---

3-15-2005
177A Bleecker Street
Greenwich Village
New York, NY
The Home of
Dr. Stephen Strange, MD, ThD
Master of the Mystic Arts
1310 hrs

"It's time Ron." Dr Strange said to a nervous Ron Stoppable as they stood in the lobby, "Therapy can only do so much for your PTSD… You've GOT to face your issues and learn how to deal with people again."

"Uh… I know Sir. It's just that I get the wimwams when I think about it…" Ron replied.

"Ok Ron, I'll put it another way…" Strange said as he handed Ron a set of gloves, a pouch, and a parka while guiding him towards the door, "Get out! There's a whole world out there you're missing, plus you've been underfoot too long… Clea and I want some Serious alone time!"

"Ok. Sorry." Ron replied as he was shoved out the door.

"Oh and Ron… Don't take the glove off and you'll be fine. Start with tiny steps." Stephen said with a wink.

---

Ron wandered around the Village in the March air 'til he got to Bleecker and Lafayette, made his way to Times Square and wandered around.

"Cool! This place rocks… Wish KP was here…" He mused as he wandered around the square… Until a sign over a nondescript door caught his eye…

It read, 'The Loll.'

'What's that? Some kind of bar I guess…' he thought as he made his way through the crowds to 'The Loll'.

Ron passed through the door and was confronted by a huge, tuxed bouncer that had a plate in his forehead and a bionic eye on the right side of his face!

While Ron unzipped his parka and put his left glove in his pocket, the bouncer stopped him at the door with a hand the size of a serving platter.

"Hero, Merc, or Mage?" said the bouncer with a cultured voice.

"What?" Ron replied.

"Hero, Merc, or Mage?" He repeated.

"Uh… HRRMM! All three." 'Great Stoppable… you're in it NOW!' Ron thought.

"Name?" Bouncer.

"Uh…" Ron stuttered, 'What the hell do I do now?'

"NAME?"

"Uh…" Ron flexed his gloved right hand, "Bad Hand… yeah that's it, Bad Hand."

"Thank You Sir. Welcome to the Loll." The Bouncer said as he removed his hand and allowed Ron to pass, "My name's Bismarck. We have a few rules that ARE STRICTLY ENFORCED HERE, Sir."

"Really?"

"Rule 1: No Fighting; Rule 2: Ladies and Gents Behave Themselves At All Times; Rule 3: If a dispute CAN'T be quietly settled TAKE IT OUTSIDE. We hope you have a pleasant time here Sir."

"What happens if you DON'T follow the Rules?"

"Ms. Morgana lets you sit in The Negative Zone for a while for starters."

"Oh." Ron pushed his way through the crowd and bellied up to the bar.

An Asgardian Rock Troll was tending bar!

"What'll it be Mac?" he said with a voice that could crush walnuts.

"Uh… what do you recommend?" Ron replied.

"Try the Asgardian Mead… It's good and we're overstocked with the stuff."

"'k Mead it is." While the Troll ran his mead from the tap Ron turned and looked at the crowd…

He saw several Skrulls at a table…

Various beings and species from different realms and planets…

And a few heroes as well…

'Hey that's Ben Grimm over there talking to Wolverine! Deathlok's hangin' with uhhhh… Death's Head! Psylocke's playing poker with Doc Ock AND The Beast? Wow, talk about weirdness… Its gotta be Level 10 at least in here!'

The Troll thumped a tankard down with a bowl of beef stew, a large hunk of bread, and a wrapped set of silverware.

"Wait… I didn't…"

"It's on me kid… don't worry… I may be a Troll but I've got standards. Enjoy!"

Ron pulled up a stool, draped his coat over it, and dug in…

---

Now while Ron was enjoying his meal, one of the B.P.R.D.'s finest was leaning on its newest field agent.

"Ok gal, here's the scoop. Your debt's paid… stay out of trouble and enjoy yerself. If we need ya we'll call." Hellboy said to his occasional partner as she exited the H4.

"Yeah, yeah. I know… no barfights and stay out of trouble…" an Emerald and Jet leather clad Shego said to her pod as she prepared to enter the Loll.

"Hey!" Hellboy.

"Yeah?" Sheila.

"Have fun, just don't cause another diplomatic…" Hellboy started.

"I WON'T ALREADY! 'Sides how was I to know that the guy was Shi'ar royalty?"

"They have feathers…"

"He was BALD!" Sheila exclaimed, 'Man make one mistake…'

"See ya… Sparky!" and with that he drove off.

'He knows I HATE that name!'

---

Sheila entered the Loll…

"How's it hangin' big guy?" she purred to Bismarck as she leapt up and kissed his jaw.

"Ms. Sheila! It's GREAT to see you! How's life with the crew? I HEARD you went straight… or as straight as could be expected." He said.

"Oh it's ok… Not like when I used to fight The Princess, but it's better than facing HB on the WRONG side of the fence… knowhatimean?"

"Indeed… Ms. Sheila you know it's ok to call me Sam."

"So Sam… any new meat come in tonight?" Sheila asked with a devilish gleam in her eye.

"In fact a new person HAS come in tonight Ma'am. He calls himself Bad Hand. You'll find him at the bar having the house special."

"Thanks Sam You're A GEM!" she said as she stuffed some Cubans into his vest pocket and made her way to the bar.

---

Ron was enjoying his stew when he felt a hand caress his butt!

"!" 'What the… it BETTER be…'

"Hi. The name's Sheila," Sheila said as she popped her coat open, sat on Ron's right and extended her hand.

Ron shook it and said, "Bad Hand at your service." 'Shego!'

---

"He DID NOT say that!" Kim said with laughter.

"Oh yes he did Princess… It gets BETTER!"

"Hey! I was being polite… what was I supposed to say?" A Beetroot Ron said.

---

"So what brings you here? Looking for some local color, or cheap thrills?" Sheila asked the mystery that sat next to her.

"Uh, I had to get out for a while… Doc's orders." 'She DOESN'T recognize me, this is SO COOL! But what's she doing OUT?"

"?" Sheila looked at him as she stripped off her coat to reveal a tailored Emerald and Jet catsuit that defined her Buxom frame rather well. 'He looks familiar… guess he's a vet. That's probably how he got the scars… they make him look kinda SEXY though with that dark hair of his…'

"I'm a vet… got scarred on a mission saving my partner… then I left the unit…"

"So why do you call yourself Bad Hand?" Sheila asked.

Ron grabbed a pewter ashtray with his right and crushed it.

"!"

"Bionic."

"Sorry. Didn't mean to pry that deep." She said. 'AWOL?'

The Troll walked up and looked at Sheila.

"I'll have what he's having." The Troll left to get her order.

"So why're YOU here? Trolling around?" Ron quipped. Troll GLARE. "Sorry! Heh!"

'Damn he's got me pegged…' "No I got off work…" Sheila said.

"Work?" 'Shit! Is she up to her old tricks?'

"Yeah. I got in SERIOUS trouble with the Law… and got a one time offer to change…" The Troll placed her order in front of her.

"You look fami…" Ron started.

"I was Dr. Drakken's merc… when he tried the Diablo plot… He crossed the line and killed the Princess' partner's pet… for 'fun'… to see Ron Stoppable suffer… Possible drilled him for doing it (Beat him almost to death and chopped his head off!)… that's the way I see it… not because he tried to take over the world…" Sheila had a tear in her eye!

"Why are you crying?" 'I don't believe this… I'm feeling SORRY for HER!'

"I don't know… Drakken shouldn't have killed all those people and Rufus… I shouldn't have got involved… the only reason I'm free is because of my sis, Liz… She thought I deserved another chance…"

"Yeah?" 'Her sis is THAT connected?'

"Yeah… She's Hellboy's partner…"

"!" 'Liz Sherman is her Sis!' "Oh." Ron.

"I quickly found out why they needed me… There was this thing that was poised to EAT US ALL… and they needed the extra firepower… After the mission was over they made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

"Join or face Hellboy?" Ron

"Yeah… If I EVER get the chance… I'll tell Ron I'm sorry!" Sheila wept.

"!" Ron gently squeezed her shoulder, 'Guess Rabbi K's right… about people changin'… I've GOTTA forgive her…'

"How about you Mr. Hand?" Sheila asked as she plowed through her meal.

"I don't think my partner wants me back… I keep an eye on 'er though… guess I'm still there for her… I'm so stupid." Ron noticed his tankard was empty, "Barkeep another round please."

2 more rounds later…

"What's… the… damage?" Ron asked the Troll as he put his coat on and helped Sheila into hers.

"$20 for the drinks." The Troll replied.

Ron pulled out the pouch that Strange had given him and looked inside…

"!" $30 appeared! Ron plunked it on the counter. "Ok dude… Keep the… change."

"Thanks." Troll.

"You… wanna hang… out… somewhere else… ?" Ron asked Sheila while she was leaning on him.

"Yeah… yeah… … my place…" Sheila managed to get out.

Bismarck walked over. "Madame, would you like to go home?"

"Yeah Sam… the nice gennmman's coming too…"

Bismarck gave Ron a Look. "Very well Ma'am," a portal appeared.

"Don't worry Dude! She's safe with me. Thanks for everything." Sheila slumped onto Ron, who picked her up and took her quickly through the portal…

Into a HUGE, immaculately furnished, brownstone warehouse loft on the corner of 8th and Mercer St.

Ron placed her in her canopy bed, stripped off her boots, and tucked her in…

Grabbed a comforter from her linens, kicked off his boots, and curled up on the party couch…

30 minutes later…

"!" 'Wha?' Ron felt someone snuggling up to him!

A tongue Licked his ear!

"I hate to… sleep… alone… SXXSSZZTKKzz." Sheila was out.

Ron eventually… went back to sleep.

End Part IV