Always Lonely By Choice?
By: Wee-hoo
A/N: Okay. Please know that I have never written a Bones fic before, hell (excuse the language) I have seen like two episodes of the entire show. If this gets good I might start to watch it once that channel comes back on my TV. I don't know much but the basics. Now before I bore you to death I will start on the story.
Summary: Temperance Brennan is in bed thinking about her life.
So here I am, in bed alone again but despite of what my friend thinks I have chosen this path myself. I lost my parents as a kid and everyone thinks I can just forget that and be happy. But because they have family they don't understand how it feels to loose everyone but your brother. I just can't act as if it doesn't still hurt.
I had a few men on the way here but they couldn't fill this whole in my heart, I haven't loved any of them. Sometimes I think I never can, until I see his eyes. Booth has so cute eyes, like a teddy bear, and the way he sees almost everything in a room makes my head spin. My heart beats so much faster as he walks in to a room and smiles at me.
When he opened the fridge and that bomb exploded I nearly died with fear of loosing him. Listen to me, loose him? He's not even mine to loose. But I still feel the fear running through me as I think of that day. I still wish I had gotten him that drink so he wouldn't have been hurt. I know it sounds crazy but I think that if I had the courage to tell him I could be happy with him. Oh God Angela would love to hear my mind right now.
The night after he went home I drove over to his place and stayed in my car all night to make sure he would be safe. I can't believe that I am this weird about a guy. I mean I am Temperance Brennan unable to show human emotion and now I have fallen for a guy I work with none the less.
Angela has been a great friend but she tries desperately to get me to fall in love, if she only knew. I can't believe how deeply I have fallen in love with this guy. I just can't believe how I could be so weak. My parents loved me and it drove them away, what if that would happen with Booth? I would never survive that kind of pain again.
Sometimes I think my heart feels good about torturing itself. I don't know why but every single time I see Booth it gives this little twitch and I almost gasp when he looks me in the eyes. Sometimes I get a small shudder as he walks past me. I know it sounds ridiculous but I truly don't know how to act when he is around. His dark hair as it blows in the wind when we are on a crime scene and the way he furrows his eyebrows in confusion when I mention the name of a bone. I love the way he smiles at me as he calls me Bones.
But my curse is that I can't tell him, he would be devastated because he doesn't feel the same way. I know he doesn't, he couldn't. Why would he? This is when Angela comes in saying all the things about me that he could be interested in but it's no use.
Seeley Booth is way out of my league, I can never let him fall for me. I would ruin his life and I couldn't live with that for a second. He has a son to think of and I know how much young Parker means to him, if I went into the mix with his ex? We would probably kill each other. And Booth would never be allowed near Parker again, that would kill him for sure. You honestly think I could do that to him? Never in a million years.
Sometimes I fear that everyone can see it in my face, it's so obvious when I look in the mirror. But the one person who I know will see it soon is Angela. I never could hold a secret from her for a long period of time. But I will never admit it to her.
I can't imagine a life with Booth in it, nor can I imagine a life without him. As Angela would say; girl you got it bad. And she is right but I will always be lonely by choice rather than to ruin his life.
The End!!