Chapter Eleven: A State of (Be)longing

"I can't get over how warm it's starting to get," Elphaba commented, walking across campus with Fiyero. "I don't even need a sweater. In fact, I'm almost too warm."

"Maybe if you didn't wear long sleeves all of the time," Fiyero teased.

"It's hard to find black dresses that have short sleeves. I only have one and I can't very well wear the same thing every day, can I?"

"That's true." Letting go of her hand, he stopped and turned to her. "Elphaba, I know I mentioned after spring break that my parents would like to meet you, and I was wondering if maybe you'd come stay at the castle halfway through the summer?"

She sighed. "I'm staying here and I can't afford the ride there and back, much less the hotel stays."

"I'd pay," he offered impulsively.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, she smiled softly but shook her head. "No you won't. I won't stand for that, you know it. Besides, my father wouldn't like it and I need to be working considering I got a job to work off the board for the dorms. Summer holidays start tomorrow, Fiyero, anyway. You're a bit late in asking."

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Well, maybe next year."

"Maybe."

They reached Briscoe Hall and Fiyero opened the door and led her up the stairs, a familiar enough routine. Elphaba laughed when he held open the door of his dorm on the second floor for her. "Where is your wonderful roommate this time?"

He kicked the door shut. "Oh, I don't know. Molirin is always off somewhere."

"I'm surprised you two even talk."

"Sit," he gestured towards the bed.

She sat, smiling and let him take her hand when he sat down next to her. "I am going to miss you some over the holidays."

"I'll miss you a lot." He told her. "I'm really regretting that I didn't chose to stay, too."

"Why?"

"Because I feel like you're just barely starting to get comfortable with me and I don't want that to disappear over the summer." He blurted.

Elphaba looked at him. "It won't, I promise."

Cupping her cheek with his hand, he whispered, "Really?"

"Would I have said 'I promise' if I didn't mean it?"

He kissed her then, easing her back onto the bed as they'd done several times. She wrapped her arms around his neck and responded heatedly. The hand that wasn't on her cheek crept to open her blouse from the bottom button up.

She didn't flinch. He'd rested his hand on her clothed breast before, even snuck it under her sweater or such, but never taken anything off. But he didn't scare her and she was, as he'd said, at ease with him. "Mmmm," she murmured as he opened her blouse, fiddled with a clasp or two and brought his hands to her breasts, touching them softly at first, stroking his hands over them, molding them slightly as her body language said was permissible.

He pulled himself out of the kiss and continued to touch her, eyes burning when he glanced at her eyes. "Elphaba…"

She squealed at the unexpected feel of something hot and wet on her breast as he swiftly kissed the sensitive, taut flesh. His tongue was circling the tip and she was just lying there, eyes wide, arms above her head. When he began to suck she whimpered and squirmed beneath him. "Oh, sweet Oz."

His mouth left her breasts and his hands returned as he kissed his way back up, over her throat and neck, across her cheek to her mouth, almost drugging her with the intensity of the kiss. For a long while, they kissed and his hands enjoyed her torso, until they heard a key being slammed (upside down) against the lock of the door. "He can't even put the damn key in the right way. Honestly, it takes him ten minutes to open the door."

Elphaba laughed as she quickly fixed her clothing situation. Fiyero was right. She was beyond neat and tidy by the time the lazy Gillikin boy had entered the room.

"Oh, hey." Molirin waved. "What's up?"

Fiyero shifted uncomfortably and suddenly had a pillow in his lap. "Not much. We're just saying our goodbyes, you know, the usual. How're you, man?"

"Same old." The pale boy shrugged. "I'm just going to finish packing, if you don't mind."

"I was just about to leave, actually," Elphaba said quickly. She stood and moved towards the door.

Fiyero bit his lip but followed, tossing the pillow back towards the bed. He took her hand when she opened the door. "I'll write you. Write me back, okay?"

"Of course." She hugged him.

He shook his head and whispered to her, "That's the kind of goodbye I get?"

"In front of your roommate?"

"It's just a kiss."

It was a very long, very passionate kiss, but it was, nonetheless, no more than a kiss. Blushing incredibly by this time, Elphaba let go of Fiyero's hand. "Goodbye. See you when the year starts again. I look forward to your letters."

"Bye."

My dearest Elphaba,

I miss you so much. You have no idea how boring it is around here. Everyone's been asking me about college, and all I can manage to talk about is you. Believe me, they're quite curious about you, though they've heard a lot about you. Don't worry, nothing you wouldn't want me to say. I tell them how beautiful you are, and that you're a bit stubborn and sarcastic and very intelligent. They tease me because they claim that, whenever I mention you, my eyes start glazing over and they're afraid I've gone unconscious or died or something. Really, I'm not that hopeless.

And I miss talking to you. My dad didn't go to an official college; he was home-schooled. No one around here knows much of anything, except a little politics and economics. You know, the bare minimum needed to manage the tribe. When I become king, I wonder what I'll do differently. I can promise you one thing, though. Out here, there are a few Animals and no one mistreats them. Once I'm king, I'll create laws to assure that it stays that way.

Sometimes, I find myself thinking about you, maybe late at night when I'm sitting around after dinner staring out the window. I can almost feel your skin under my fingers, smell your hair. I want so badly to kiss you again, to touch…

Oops! My dad says it's time for some hunting with the rest of the men. He doesn't usually do this, but now, supposedly, since I'm growing up, he wants to teach me, anyway, just in case. Whatever.

Yours,

Fiyero

My pathetically romantic Fiyero,

If you write me another letter like the last one, I will not hold back from smacking you. You can't even imagine how embarrassed I was feeling by the end of that letter! You write as if we're lovers already or something. "I can almost feel your skin under my fingers"? What the hell? What skin? Skin of my hand, of…? Think about how dreadfully sexual that sounds. And yes, I wrote the word "sex". Proud of me? I'm not. I don't really care at this point. You're behaving like Oz did when he met Ozma in the ancient tales. Stop it before I have to whack you with something. I mean it.

I do miss you, though. I miss being with you, maybe not as physically as you do… which really made me uncomfortable, by the way. I mean, leaving "to touch…" with the lead on there? What are you trying to say and why can't you just say it? Okay, okay, I like it when we kiss and when you… how do I say this without sounding incredibly dirty? Oh, right. I can't. That would be why I'm not going to write it in this letter.

I do kind of miss sitting with you when you've got your arm around me and we're talking. I miss intelligent conversation, too, even if you have to mar it a bit by your irritatingly endearing naiveté. All right, damn it, I miss you. Happy?

Sincerely,

Elphaba


My beautiful but slightly temperamental Elphaba,

I apologize for the last letter. I did not mean to make you nervous or anything. You do seem to be getting better with that, by the way. Now that I think about it, I'm surprised you answered at all. Anyway, you know what I meant when I left it off like that. And if you don't, take it however you want to take it. I'm not denying anything, because you'll corner me and Oz only knows what torture you'll bestow upon me then.

I'm glad to know you miss me, and gladder to know you admitted it. Of course, I can't get too happy, because I'm still stuck here and you're there at Shiz. And thus, here we are, and I'm bored out of my mind. I don't know about you. Do you know we've dated almost ten months? In five weeks after school begins again, we'll have been dating for a year. Thank Oz there's only a month left of summer vacation. I never thought I'd be so happy to go back to school, but my family is so odd right now.

I'm contemplating writing another little "lovers'" paragraph right here just to see how you'd react, but I'm guessing it won't go well, so I'll refrain. The things I could say…

Still yours,

Fiyero

My hopeless (and yes, you are that hopeless) but sweet Fiyero,

You were very wise not to write that paragraph you were considering. It would not have gone well, and I don't think I need to say anymore than that, thank you.

"Still yours"… are you really mine? I don't think you necessarily belong to me, Fiyero. In fact, I know you don't. If you did, you wouldn't have had to go back home for the summer, you would've had whatever choice you wanted. I know what you're thinking now. Why wouldn't I demand you stay with me? Because I don't know how long it's possible to tolerate me for and I think every person should choose what he/she would like to do with his/her time.

Anyway, I'm sorry you're so bored, and that's no fun. I'm not bored. I have too much work to be bored.

And yes, I'm aware of how long we've dated. You were wrong, by the way. By the time you actually sent that letter, it was ten months exactly, not "almost". I win. How many times do I have to tell you to just come out and say something?

Sincerely,

Elphaba

My slightly comical but all the same wonderful Elphaba,

This won't get to you before I get back, but I'm stupid and I'm writing it anyway (see, I know I'm an idiot, ha!). I am yours because my heart belongs to you. And I didn't have anything to say when I mentioned how long we'd been dating, just wondering what you thought. That's all.

YOURS,

Fiyero