Where are Ron and Harry?

The Train. Dumbass.

What will they do with the bodies?

Rape 'em.

Why the hell did I write this?

Beats masturbating while watching the telletubies.

What happened to the plot?

What plot?

What are Ron and Harry doing?

Each other.

How big is Snapes Penis?

6ft 2

Does his Penis have a penis?

Of course.

Is Hermione still hot?

Hermione was never hot.

Previously on Not Another Albus Giant Squid parody.

Read the last chapter again you forgetful mongtard.

Ahem.

Chapter 3. Err...Right. What to put.

What has happened so far?

Goes back and Reads. Err…

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, the Harlem Globetrotters, Cesc Fabregas sigh, My computer or this piece of work.

Sorry about this chapter, the last one and any future ones I write on this fic. This will not be spell checked or read through again. If you don't like it. Take a carrot and shove it.

Still on the train. Sigh.

Draco wiped away the excess, 6 bodies still stared blankly at the ceiling. They had helped Snapes penis hold out for another 5 minutes. Draco viewed this as a mixed blessing. The soft silkiness of his shaft in Dracos mouth as opposed to the embarrassment of overflow.

"What do we do about the bodies?" He asked.

"Dessert?"

Draco smacked the Snapes Penis around the head. "Be serious, will you?"

"Nevah!"

Draco sighed, this was going to be a long journey.

Meanwhile.

Hermione was sobbing in an abandoned compartment, well it had been full until her blotchy, red eyed snot leaking, dribbling face had heaved into view. SOBBING. Life was just so unfair, this morning her life had seemed perfect. Head Girl and back at Hogwarts for her last year. Soon she would be a fully qualified witch ready to unleash her talents on the wizarding population.

"Now now," A cold high-pitched voice crooned. "Whatever is there to cry about my dear?"

Hermione froze, before, slowly, tortuously, looking upwards. In front of was her, the one, the only, INCARNATION OF ALL THINGS EVIL, TERROR OF WIZARDKIND, LOOOOOORD VOLDERMORRRRRRT…holding a box of tissues.

Dun dun DUUUUUUN!

"Checkmate." Ron smugly announced. SMUGLY.

Ron 2 peered intently at the board. 6 years of constant chess had somehow failed to endow the chosen one with any understanding of the game at all. Something Ron had now hesitation in proving, again and again.

"I didn't know we were playing chess." A perplexed voice failed to break Harry from his scrutiny.

"What else would you two be doing?" Sneered a voice.

Harry heads shot up towards, what turned out to be, Ginny. Both wilted.

"Exploding snap maybe." Ron answered.

"Or maybe talking about Draco." Mumbled Harry, blushing.

"What?"

"Nothing." Ron 2 replied.

Ginny peered at Harry/Ron 2 suspiciously. 7 years of idolisation had so far failed to produce any results. It had however given her accurate telescopes to view the happenings on Planet Harry as she liked to describe it, Sun Harry sounded wrong and Star Harry sounded retarded. So Planet Harry it was. With his messy raven locks, pointy face, broken glasses, girly eyes and silly scar. Who wouldn't want him? However something seemed out of place.

"You hungry Harry?"

Ron 2 looked up. "No, I just can't see how this is checkmate."

Sighing Ginny looked at the board.

"Ron." She stated flatly, "You can't checkmate your own king."

Sometimes she despaired at the pair of them. They were now both peering intently at the board. Facing screwed up in thought or constipation. It was so hard to tell sometimes.

It was going to be a long Journey.

Til' next time.

Voldermort and Ginny in one chapter. NOOOOOO!

Throws daggers at the author.

BOOO!

Sorry for the delay and for the even poorer quality of this chapters offerings.

To those two people who have this on story alert. HAHA!

My reviewers. Cough SAD Cough

Viktor Krums lazyllama: I update when I want to. Got that? Ask me again and I'll never update again.

Burnt-spagehtti-451: What's so confusing, retard? And that's not how you spell spaghetti, fuckwad.

Xsunflowerxeyesx: I can see why.

Captaincarnival: I deem your sucking up to be of acceptable quality. Not great, but not shit. Here's a smiley face. 

Ps. Thanks for reviewing. ;-) I love you guys really.