Not another Albus Giant Squid Parody Chapter 14: Was Bored, a harry potter fanfic

Disclaimer: not mine.

Recently on Not Another Albus Giant Squid Parody: Draco Malfoy smirked as he followed his father through the barrier, as long as his father was here none of the other bigger boys would be able to pick on him and he'd have more time for the quality sucking up he was famed for (the publicly displayable kind…for now)…STOP, STOP that's not the direction we want to go in.

Silence reigned. Followed by barely contained Horror. Hermione and Draco stared at dumb and dumber. "Who are the hell are you?" Sneered Draco, sneeringly. "We're two characters from an American movie you've never heard of and the author has never seen." Replied Dumb.

Draco wiped away the excess, 6 bodies still stared blankly at the ceiling. They had helped Snapes penis hold out for another 5 minutes. Draco viewed this as a mixed blessing. The soft silkiness of his shaft in Dracos mouth as opposed to the embarrassment of overflow. "What do we do about the bodies?" He asked.

George groaned. "I wish I where-" "-dead," interjected Fred. George glared at his twin, though outwardly the exact double of Fred secretly George had hated his "lesser half" ever since he could remember, "I wish you'd-"

Hermione froze, before, slowly, tortuously, looking upwards. In front of was her, the one, the only, INCARNATION OF ALL THINGS EVIL, TERROR OF WIZARDKIND, LOOOOOORD VOLDERMORRRRRRT…holding a box of tissues. Dun dun DUUUUUUN! You could hear a pin drop.

SLAP "Ron!" SLAP "ROOOOON!"

Draco was pissed, in fact more than pissed. "Not one sodding mention in 3 chapters, fucking author making me out to be some kind of pansy cocksucker. I'll show him, fucking Harry Potter, killing the tightest ass err…the greatest wizard ever, I'll show him too. And that fucking Weasel, cheating on me with some lowly death eater piece of shit. OOF"

Where's my Weasel? Is that my Weasel? It goes "Harry is my true love". It is a weaselette. That's not my Weasel!

Ginny, the red-hosed Weasel had some very shiny hose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows.

Owing to my insane jumps around the train and outside, my crazy plot leaps and severe OOCness from my earlier chapters I thought I'd take the time and effort to inform my loyal readers where all the characters are, what they are doing etc DRACO MALFOY AKA 'The Ferret'

SPLASH! SPLASH! "C'mon!" Pleaded an elderly voice. SPLASH! SPLASH! "Please!" Whiny now.

Where's my Weasel? Is that my Weasel? It goes "Mudblood". It is a Ferret. That's not my Weasel!

Two pairs of Eye's watched his approach, the first thing they noticed were his eyes. What colour were they? Green? Grey? Blue? Then there was the hair. Brown? Auburn? Ginger? Neat and dull somehow giving the impression that a comb had never touched, it. These were the best features of a slightly ratty face upon which half a stubble shadow existed. With a slightly stained creamy polo neck and black jeans covering a slight form which somehow gave the impression of chubbiness he wasn't much to look at.

The really really long one.

Really.

Mission: To get Ron and Hermione together.

Task 1: Gain access to the Hogwarts express. Check.

Task 2: Gain an overall understanding of the social dynamics concerning Ronald Bilius Weasley and Hermione Jane Granger. Check

Task 3: Change the social dynamics of the subjects of task 2 to enable the mission to be accomplished.

Task 4: Complete the mission.

Task 5: Monitor relationships for 6 months.

Task 6: Change dynamics of relationship to ensure that the mission is not needed…again.

Task 7: If all else fails got to PLAN B.

Task 8: Having confirmed success, marry Brad Pitt.

W.R.T. grimaced, it had al looked so easy when drawing up the plans at the Asylum, I mean how hard could such an obvious romance be to engender. She had read all the books, even though all those Anvils were a bit odd. She hadn't seen any anvils in any other books. Then again books like learning to read and my first ABC were unlikely to be in the same class as the great JK Rowling. If it was soo easy then was tasks 1 & 8 looking like the easiest tasks in her plan.

One involved the non trivial task of bending the reality of the universe in order to access a universe that in all probability didn't exist and the other the less said about the better. She observed her notes.

Ronald Bilius Weaslety AKA 'Only in it because he's sleeping with the Authoress'

Loyal, brave, witty, sexy, strategic genius completely in love with Hermione. He shows his love by disregarding…ignoring…mocking…er…flirting that's it flirting with her, complimenting her to weasel his way out her bad graces…trying to get her to do his homework…showing jealousy when others complement her…er…he's no Romeo OK?!, sigh.

Well…at least they dated in the 6th year, well arranged a date. Well she asked him out, which was good, but he went off with Lavender. W.R.T scowled.

That showed…er, he was trying to gain experience to 'refine his technique', OK! OK! Ditching the 'love of his life' for some cheap snogs because the 'love of his life' had committed high treason by allegedly kissing a guy, two years ago, did seem a bit odd…completely stupid…the acts of a petty insecure stupid jerk. Imagine the jealousy when 'actually' going out. She shuddered, the 6 months relationships was beginning to look less and less appealing.

At least they had a lot in common…some things…Ok. They are both magical, friends with Harry err.

W.R.T. muffled a sob as she buried her head in her hands.

Tag looked on at the sleeping couple. S.S Canon if not completely sunk was rather lower in the water than usual, whereas S.S. Fan fiction was completely unscathed.

He saw and it was Good.

TURN AROUND Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
and you're never coming round.
TURN AROUND Every now and then I get a little bit tired
of listening to the sound of my tears.

TURN AROUND Every now and then I get a little bit nervous
that the best of all the years have gone by.

TURN AROUND Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
and then I see the look in your eyes.

TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES Every now and the I fall apart.
TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES Every now and the I fall apart.

TURN AROUND Every now and then I get a little bit restless
and I dream of something wild.

TURN AROUND Every now and then I get a little bit helpless
and I'm lying like a child in your arms.
TURN AROUND Every now and then I get a little bit angry
and I know I've got to get out and cry.

TURN AROUND Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
but then I see the look in your eyes.

TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES Every now and the I fall apart.
TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES Every now and the I fall apart.

And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever
and if you only hold me tight we'll be holding on forever.
And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong.

Together we can take it to the end of the line.
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time.
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark.
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.
I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight,
forever's gonna start tonight.

Once upon a time I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart.
There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.
Once upon a time there was light in my life but now there's only love in
the dark.
Nothing I can say, a total eclipse of the heart.

TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES Every now and the I fall apart.
TURN AROUND, BRIGHT EYES Every now and the I fall apart.

And I need you now tonight and I need you more than ever
and if you only hold me tight we'll be holding on forever.
And we'll only be making it right 'cause we'll never be wrong.
Together we can take it to the end of the line.

Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time.
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark.
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.
I really need you tonight, forever's gonna start tonight,
forever's gonna start tonight.

A total eclipse of the heart

Turn around bright eyes,

Turn around.

Awwwww

A little bit of Harmione fluff.

Sorry.

Silveryswirls: Good prediction J

Mrs Claire Potter: Nyer! Then again my reviews of your stories haven't exactly been complimentary.