Memories

He was coming back today! I was jumping for joy metaphorically and figuratively. I'd been moping around the flat since he'd left on his little adventure a month ago, but now I was skipping and hopping and jumping everywhere. I couldn't wait to see his spellbinding eyes or have him hug me. I sighed in remembrance of his hugs. Have you ever noticed how some people are just amazing at giving you a hug? Harry would wrap his arms completely around me and hold my body close to his and lift me up. Nothing in the world could make me feel better than a hug from Harry. And soon I would be getting one.

I had spent the entire last three days planning out this momentous Saturday. I awoke bright and fresh from getting a full twelve hours of sleep the night before (to look my best) and got going quickly. A few hours later I grabbed my list off the fridge to see what was left.

"Clean the flat again, check. Make sure to have his favorite beer and wine in excess, check. Get the ingredients to make his favorite curry, check. Find something to wear, check. Wash my hair twice, check. And finally…figure out how to tell him I love him." I frowned down at my list. "What the fuck, I didn't write that!" I heard a snickering coming from the closet. I groaned. "Ronald Weasley you fucking prick."

Ron opened the closet door and practically fell on his face he was laughing so hard. "Hermione, you talk to yourself?" I blushed and glared at the same time.

"That's really none of your business is it?" Ron started laughing again.

"Oh come on, I'm teasing you. You know I think you're adorable." He walked over and kissed my cheek. "And hello to you too."

"Hello." I grumbled. "You really are a prick though, you know that right?"

"I know…it's what makes me so amusing." I couldn't help but laugh. "So when's he home?"

"Fifteen…give or take." I said, my grin returning. "I'm so excited."

"I can tell. You look nice by the way. Very 'I-missed-you-and-I-am-secretly-in-love-with-you-please-fuck-my-brains-out.' It's enchanting." I glared at him again. "Alright, alright, I'm going. Tell him I say hi and I couldn't make it because I had a hot date."

"He knows you too well to believe that!" I interjected with a smile on my face; Ron's smile was even wider.

"I've taught you well grasshopper. I'll see you both tomorrow. Good luck!" With that he apparated out and left me to wait for an excruciating ten more minutes.

When I heard Harry's key unlocking the door I almost jumped up from my so carefully planned spot of nonchalance. When he walked though the doorway my breath caught in my throat. He was home.

"Hermione, if you don't get off that couch and run over here and give me a hug this instant, I'm going to have to go back to Siberia." I quickly obliged and leapt into his arms. My senses were working overtime. I could feel his warmth through his sweater, see his beautiful green eyes, hear his breathing and smell his Harry smell, but I tasted tears.

"Why are you crying 'Mione?" He asked softly.

"I'm just very glad you're home." I said, putting my head on his shoulder and sighing.

"Me too." He said squeezing me tightly and setting me down. When I was back on solid ground (only figuratively this time) I saw the girl standing in the doorway. She was blond and tall and gorgeous and I immediately knew why she was there. I had stopped crying, but felt like I was going to start again. Harry saw where my gaze went and quickly ran over and grabbed the girl's hand.

"Hermione, this is Karina. She was working with us in Siberia and has come back to be our Russian advisor for a little while. He smiled down at her and I frowned.

"That's nice." I said, putting on my fake smile…not that Harry even noticed.

Karina didn't last long, but other girls came and went. I joined him on some expeditions and was amazed at how many girls Harry made fall for him. I knew he was charming, but I was more than happy that he had never tried to seduce me. I had a hard enough time already.

I started to avoid him and his exploits. There were too many girls to remember their names, so I never tried. I got more into work and became the best auror I could. I worked my ass off a) because I enjoyed it and b) because kicking people's asses and saving the world kept my mind off that Potter boy.

But one day I couldn't take it anymore.

There hadn't been a girl in two months. We'd been very busy with work. Not Siberia busy, we were actually busy. A group that was calling themselves "The Forked Tongues" had started harassing muggles in Ireland. We were constantly going back and forth and were always on call. On an odd night where we weren't at the office, Harry and I were alone in the flat, also an oddity that Ron wasn't there.

It had started out innocently enough as a game of questions until Harry came up with a whopper.

"Your turn." I said smiling.

"Not fair, you just reworded my question and asked me that. That's against the rules."

"There are no rules, you loser, we're just playing questions, not chess or quidditch."

"Fine." He growled. I just giggled. "Give me a minute." Then he looked up at me with a slightly evil glint in his eye. I had no idea what I was in for.

"Hermione," He said, looking me strait in the eyes and grinning "have you ever been in love?" I wasn't sure I had heard correctly, so I just sat there for moment, looking at him unblinkingly. "Well? Have you?"

I looked at the ground. This game wasn't fun anymore. 'Fine,' I thought to myself. 'Now is as good a time as any.' I looked up at him, not smiling anymore.

"I'm afraid I haven't been totally honest with you Harry." He wasn't smiling anymore. "I have been in love, I am in love, and I'm in love with you. I never told you, because I knew you could never feel the same way. I'm sorry." He sat there and stared at me. I felt like I was naked under a spotlight. He was quiet. I hugged my knees to my chest and looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry." I mumbled again.

"Hermione I…"

"Don't worry, I know you don't."

"No…I don't…not like that."

"Forget it. I never said anything." I stood up quickly and walked to my room. I was embarrassed and I was hurt. I put myself on the line, not expecting a good outcome. But there had still been that glint of hope. That spark in my head that kept telling me, 'maybe he loves you too'. I couldn't say I was surprised, but I was crushed.

When I woke up the next morning, I stayed in bed for an extra hour. I decided that being late to work was better than having to face him. When I went to grab milk for my coffee I saw the note. It was ripped from a memo pad from the desk of Arthur Weasely and was clearly written in haste and panic.

Hermione,

I'm sorry. You're my best friend but that's all. I've gone to Thailand for an extended expedition and don't know how long I'll be gone. All my things are packed up in my room and as soon as I get home I'll be moving out. Goodbye.

HP

That was it. That was my final goodbye from my 'best friend'. He broke me.

A/N I own not much.